What I Watched Today

(random, rambling thoughts on today’s TV)

General Hospital

Running a little late. I come in to Morgan asking Ava not to fight for custody of her own daughter. At least she changed clothes. She’s now rocking a nice black and white body con dress, and another pair of cool earrings. I somehow think Morgan is the wrong guy to send on this mission.

Dillon is going to star in and direct his own film. Does he think he’s Clint Eastwood? Maxie practices the love scene with Nathan. Like this will help him be less jealous.

Dante needs to go back to detective school and/or math class.  He seems to have difficulty putting 2 and 2 together. He also seems to have difficulty not being chummy with Valerie.

Paul confronts Anna with the Carrrlos information and it’s fun watching her squirm. Anna says blah-blah-blah to Paul, trying to cover her tracks. I don’t think he’s buying it. She claims she had some other conflicts with Sloane and that’s why he’s trying to set her up. She says that it’s an unrequited love thing, and asks if Sloane had any proof. Paul makes a soap opera face.

Morgan admits to being a huge baby, hoping to win Ava over. Her consolation prize for handing Avery over will be him moving in. So instead of cleaning up after a real baby, she’ll get to clean up after a baby man. I don’t think this is a fair trade. Morgan asks if she “can’t do this one thing” for him. She tells him she’ll do anything for love, but she won’t do that. I don’t blame her. It’s not like he’s the ideal guy, especially when he’s in a manic phase. Did he get to that doctor yet? I’m thinking, no.

Even though Anna asked a really stupid question, Paul tells her that there’s no concrete proof. Anna tells Paul he shouldn’t waste his time with Sloane and he tells her that’s not a problem, since Sloane is dead. Ok, he didn’t add that last part, but he thought it in a flashback.

Dillon isn’t over Maxie and she catches him talking to himself about it. Uh-oh. Lulu just walked in on Valerie professing her love for Dante. This ought to lead to some questions.

Ava shows up to get Avery and we’re out.

Little Women LA

Tonya and Terra are planning Elena’s bachelorette weekend while discussing Brianna. It just so happens, at the exact same time in TV land, Brianna is visiting with Elena. Elena wants her at the party, even though the last time the ladies got together it didn’t go well.

Christy is out shopping with Autumn, her teenage daughter from a previous relationship. They both have surgeries coming up – Christy for her neck and Autumn for her legs. The leg surgery sounds like a nightmare. She’ll need to have her legs broken and reassembled. Autumn is concerned that if Christy gets pregnant, she won’t be able to look after her. This is a surprise to both Christy and me, since she’s never brought it up before. Kind of late in the game, since Christy and Todd have been trying to have a baby for two seasons.

Bikinis, booze and best friends are all Terra says you need for a great weekend. Sounds good to me. Elena is a little conservative and Terra thinks you can’t have a bachelorette party without penises and strippers. Um…I did.

The girls all go to Palm Springs, where they’ve rented a place. A gorgeous place. Brianna makes a good point in that when something bothers the other girls, they throw it at her rather than discussing it with her. Brianna has a secret too, something that’s stressing her out. Is she secretly married? Is she pregnant? What?

Elena springs the news that they’re going to have the vow renewal in Russia where she’s from. This doesn’t go over too big. Most people who have destination events don’t pick Russia. Although, it’s not as awful as you might think. When I was in high school, I took a trip there with some other Russian history students and we had a blast. And this was before the Iron Curtain came down. She’s just kidding, it’s going to be in Hawaii.

The girls get gussied up and go to a club called Toucan’s. Terra promised no strippers, but she didn’t promise there wouldn’t be drag queens. Elena gets pulled on stage to dance, but says she’s not drunk enough yet. So everyone does a shot. Now they’re all up and dancing. I’d totally get into going to this place. Back at the house and pool, Christy says she’s glad she’s sober when everyone is getting silly with a hot dog float. Brianna passes on the drinking and the pool party because she doesn’t want it to turn into a drunken brawl. Can I have her spot?

The next day they go to a humongous grocery store to get supplies for a barbeque. Jasmine tries to explain why Brianna is so upset, and that Brianna feels the others don’t really care about her. After all, they’re making this huge fuss over Elena, who’s married already, and aren’t even acknowledging Brianna’s engagement to Matt. Christy and Brianna have stayed behind and are having a confab. Brianna says she’s totally happy with Matt, and feels that she’s being attacked rather than supported. A few episodes ago, we’d found out that Matt sent nakey pics to another girl. Not that he deserves a prize for that, but they were broken up at the time, so I don’t get what the big deal is.

The ladies are boozing it up at home and playing some kind of truth game that involves a lot of sexual questions. ♫ La-la-la! ♫ Ok, I am really listening. Brittney starts weeping about her ex that cheated on her and is still calling her. I don’t think this is how you’re supposed to play this game. Time to eat.

Nice spread, but when is Brianna revealing that secret? Oh, that would be now. YES! I was right! She’s already married. I knew it! I knew it! I knew it!

Commercial break. They always tease me with these Lifetime movies that look so good. This time it’s the 90210 movie. Lifetime always sucks me in and then the movies end up sucking. Even when they’re good, the endings always suck.

In her individual interview segment, Terra wonders what else Brianna’s been keeping to herself, since this is so huge. Jasmine already knew, but she’s the only one who’s been supportive. Everyone else is either shocked and/or offended, but I don’t get why. They’ve never liked Matt and have been rather vocal about that. I might have done the same thing in her position. One on one, Elena tells Brianna that she doesn’t know what to say and that Brianna’s timing is atrocious. She might be right with that one, since it was supposed to be her weekend.

I can’t wait to see Elena’s “wedding” dress. They showed a glimpse on the preview and it looks amazing.

Million Dollar Listing LA

Josh A. is all impressed with a house by architect Wallace Neff, but it looks industrial to me and it’s probably one of the few houses I haven’t been that thrilled with. The sellers want a buyer who’s not going to tear it down. Um…it’s not Grey Gardens.

Commercial break. I cannot wait for The People’s Couch to return. It’s one of the funniest shows on TV. I’d also like to know how I can get on it.

After throwing the huge Burning Man party and generating a lot of interest, David and James can’t get back onto the property to show it to anyone. They finally track down the owner’s father, who tells them his son is in Russia. (Lots of Russia going on tonight.) He also informs them that if they can’t get full asking price, his son is going to move in to the house. What they figure that means is, he doesn’t really want to sell it and has disappeared for the duration. David and James gain access to the house, but the ridiculous price is a turn off to the buyers. The house is $9,995,000. I hate when it’s not a round number. It reminds me of how things are priced for $9.99, like I don’t round that to ten bucks in my head.

Josh F. is making a video about one of the properties he’s selling. He pretty much stinks as a narrator and I’m surprised. I understand that he might not want to detract from the video tour, but he could show just a little more enthusiasm. He’s having exclusive showings for brokers, but everyone shows up all at once, so it turns out to be a not so exclusive open house instead.

James gets a gold star in my book when he says he works hard, but his wife works ten times harder staying home with the kids. That’s right. Being a mother is a job and not an easy one. No vacations or sick days for at least the first 18 years either. That’s why I don’t have kids. They have a really cute house that’s surprisingly not very ostentatious.

Josh A. is showing the Neff house and some guy says it would be great for his son to play hide and seek in. Would he like to adopt an older child? One of the buyers (who will be tearing it down) offers half a million over asking price, but wants the deal done in two hours or the offer is withdrawn. This sounds so stupid, that I’m thinking it must be a set up by Bravo.

The sellers aren’t keen on the buyer being a developer. The guy also says he doesn’t like a gun being held to his head either. I’m with him on that. An architect lover has also made an offer, but this time it’s under asking. The sellers decide to go for the money. Good choice. Seriously, it’s not Grey Gardens.

What’s kind of amazing is how young these guys are and how they’ve been plugging away at this since they were 12, and now they’re skabillionaires. When I was their age, I didn’t know what was going on. Hell, I don’t know now.

Oh Lord, one of Josh F.’s buyers has a man bun. I hear that contributes to baldness. Good. Guys need to stop wearing those.

David is growing a beard and I’m really glad because I can’t tell the difference between him and James. Both of them are recovering alcoholics too, which they discuss openly, so I’m not gossiping here, but it’s one more way I can’t tell them apart. They remind me of the twins Jeremy Irons played in Dead RIngers, except a lot cheerier. The broker who couldn’t get in to the property last week with James shows up for round 2, but isn’t pleased that there’s no wiggle room on the price. I fail to see why, when you’re paying millions, another $230,000 makes or breaks a real estate purchase. Sure enough, her client wants the house anyway.

Ooh, there’s going to be a mermaid in next week’s episode!

And Vanderpump Rules is back soon! Gratuitous shots of Giggy!