What I Watched Today
(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)
General Hospital
At Pozzulo’s, Gabe knocks at Sonny’s office door and says he has a visitor. She told him to tell Sonny that there’s a broad here to see him. Her word, not his. She wouldn’t tell him who she was; said it would spoil the surprise. But she said they were old friends. Sonny goes into the restaurant and sees a woman with her back to him. He asks if she’s the broad who wants to see him, and Lois turns around, saying, hello, handsome. They hug.
Brook sees Eddie/Ned in the solarium, and says, there he is. She’s on her way to sign a new major client, Blaze. He says, congratulations, that’s great, and she says she’s meeting Blaze at Charlie’s. Would he like to come? She’s super nice and down to earth, especially for someone that special. She sings all different genres of music. Maybe she’d be interested in that new song he’s working on. He thanks her for the invite, but he thinks he’ll pass. And when he finishes writing that song, he’ll be the one who sings it. She says, suit himself – Tracy walks in – but as for her, she’s going to go make music history. Tracy says, or Brook could stop hiding from her and sit down and discuss her future.
Austin sits at Charlie’s bar, when Blaze walks in. Kristina says, look who it is. She’s back. Blaze says, maybe she couldn’t stay away.
Finn and Elizabeth make dinner together in the cabin. As she makes salad, he tells her, a few more minutes of marinating, and the steaks will be ready to grill. She says she didn’t tell him. Cameron is dating a girl from college. She doesn’t think he’s completely over Josslyn yet, but it’s a step in the right direction. He says, wow. He knows she and Cameron are close, but it still surprises him that Cameron would tell her about the girl he’s dating. She laughs and says, he didn’t; Jake did. She still can’t believe she has two kids old enough to date, and he says he’s dreading the day Violet is old enough to date. Teenage boys, run! She tells him to prepare himself. It’s going to be here before he knows it. He says he’s not comfortable anymore with this conversation. Let’s grill. He tells her, fifteen minutes, and she says she can’t wait. He asks her to wish him luck, and she says, good luck. They kiss, and he says, she’s amazing.
TJ walks into Charlie’s and joins Austin at the bar. Austin says he’d buy TJ a drink, but the bartender seems busy, and TJ says he didn’t come here for a drink. They need to talk about Austin’s cousin Mason.
At the gallery, Ava and Laura hug, and Ava says, welcome home. Laura says, it’s good to be home, and Ava says she’s glad Laura survived her journey to Chechnya. Laura says, it was hard, but she’s glad she did it. By the way, she heard about the kidnapping. She’s so glad Ava is safe and got through that ordeal. Ava says she prefers not to think about it. It’s just so fortunate that she was rescued by Sonny’s bodyguard and Dante. She’s focused on getting her life back to normal. Laura says she hates bringing Ava more bad news, but she wanted Ava to know they weren’t actually able to find Nikolas. Ava says she’s so sorry. She knows Laura will never stop searching for her son. It must be so frustrating to exert all that time and energy and hope, and come up with nothing. Laura tells Ava that she wouldn’t say nothing.
On the phone, Elizabeth says she really appreciates her gram staying with the boys for her. Tell Aiden that tomorrow they’ll bring him apples for his pies, and they promise to pick them themselves. Finn comes back in, and she says she has to go. Dinner’s ready. Love you. Finn asks if everything is okay at home, and she says, yes. She was just calling to check in. He says, him too. He called Chase when he was outside. He said Violet is great. Everything is well there. She says, good, and he says, now that they’ve checked in at home, maybe tonight could just be about them. She says, it sounds really nice.
Ava says she doesn’t understand what Laura is trying to say. Either she found Nikolas, or she didn’t. Laura says she doesn’t mean to confuse Ava. She doesn’t actually know where Nikolas is today, but she and Doc did find definitive proof that he’s alive and well, and she thinks he’s living somewhere in Europe. Ava asks if she talked to him on the phone, but Laura says, no. They found out he was making financial transactions. Ava asks if there was any proof it was actually Nikolas doing that. Anybody could have hacked his accounts and been doing that. Laura says, it’s nothing like that. They went to Geneva and met with his personal banker, who told them that Nikolas had been in the bank in person several times this past month.
Austin says he doesn’t give a damn about his cousin Mason, but he’s very grateful to TJ. Austin flashes back to TJ running into Mason’s room as he’s smothering his cousin. TJ runs to the bed, telling him, stop, and pulling the pillow away. Austin says, this doesn’t concern him, and TJ says he doesn’t give a damn about Austin’s cousin’s life – he yanks the pillow away – but he cares about Austin’s. There’s a cop right outside. Mason’s not worth it. At Charlie’s, Austin says he was about to throw his whole life away, but TJ stopped him. Thank you.
Brook says she’s not hiding from Tracy. She just doesn’t live in this house, so they’re not going to run into each other anymore. And she has zero interest in discussing her future with Tracy because of the way Tracy’s treated her. Tracy will have no part in her future. Brook walks out, but Tracys follows and says, Brook can avoid her now, but sooner or later, Brook is going to need her. (She calls Brook missy, and I swear I’d deck her if I was Brook. I hate that.) And when that day comes, Tracy will forget this day ever happened, and Brook will sit down and discuss her future with her at Deception. Brook leaves, and Eddie asks if Tracy really thinks threats and blackmail are the most effective way to influence her granddaughter. Tracy shrugs and says, it always worked with him.
Blaze says she’s here to sign the final contract with Brook to manage her music career, and Kristina says, that’s so exciting. She won’t keep Blaze. Blaze says, the meeting’s not for a little while. She came in early, hoping Kristina would be working. Kristina says she works every day, so Blaze could have texted or called to see if she was here, but Blaze says, what’s the fun of that? Besides, she decided to leave it up to chance. She figured if Kristina was working, that would be a good omen. Blaze’s phone chimes, and Kristina asks if everything is okay. Blaze says, it’s Lucy Coe – again. She won’t stop texting about the offer her and Maxie Jones made her to be the new Face of Deception. Sasha walks in, and Blaze says, uh-oh. That’s her. Sasha Gilmore, aka the woman she’d be replacing.
Sonny says he knew Lois was in town. He was figuring out when she was going to visit him. She says, same old Sonny. He never misses a beat. Always knows what’s happening. He asks what she’s in town for. Not that he cares, because he loves seeing her. She says she’s here to see Brook. Tracy screwed her over on a business deal, so she wanted to make sure her daughter was okay. He says, Brook is tough like her. She’ll be able to take care of Tracy. Trust him. Lois says, she shouldn’t have to, but she doesn’t want to talk about the Quartermaines. She wants to know what’s happening with him, because she heard he eloped. Carly must have loved hearing about that. He says, Carly’s fine. They’re trying to get along for the family. She asks how that’s working out for him.
Sonny and Lois sit down to some biscotti and coffee, and he asks, how’s the old neighborhood? She says, it hasn’t changed a bit. Everything is exactly the way he remembers it. He says, that’s what he likes to hear, and she says, although old Mr. Coluso the butcher, he retired and his grandson took over, and all of a sudden, the cuts of meat weren’t up to their expected proportions. So she had to take him out back and show him what’s what. Sonny says he’s sure she terrorized him when she took the clever out of his hands, and she says she did. And she never even had to touch the clever. He says, it’s nice to see things haven’t changed, and they laugh.
Eddie asks why Tracy is making this so much harder than it needs to be. Just offer the company to Brook, and if she turns it down, take no for an answer. She says, there are so many things she finds annoying now that he’s decided to live his life as Eddie Maine. Middle-aged man running around like a frat boy, his music, but most of all – Olivia walks in – his intentional naivete. Olivia says, Mother of God. Will Tracy give it a rest? Stop badgering Eddie. Tracy says she knows Olivia isn’t responsible for her son losing his memory, but she is responsible for how she’s handling it. She’s his wife. She has a legal right to have him committed. And if she doesn’t think shock therapy is appropriate, at least get him some intensive psychotherapy. Unless of course (🍷) she’s starting to prefer Eddie over Ned. (I know I do.)
Kristina introduces Sam and Sasha to Blaze, and Sasha says, she looks so familiar… Oh! She saw Blaze perform at the Nurses Ball. She sang a duet with Chase, right? Blaze says, guilty as charged, and Sasha says, she was incredible, and the way she stood up to her manager was really inspiring. Blaze thanks her. She appreciates Sasha saying that. She tells Kristina that she has to go take care of something and asks her to tell Brook that she’ll be right back. Nice meeting Sam and Sasha.
TJ says he remembers seeing Mason in Austin’s office a while back. At the time, TJ said he thought he’d met him before. Austin says he remembers, and TJ says he finally made the connection. Does Austin have any idea what Mason did to him? Austin says he doesn’t, but knowing Mason the way he does, he’s reasonably sure it’s something terrible. He’s sorry for whatever Mason did to TJ. TJ says, Austin was willing to smother Mason, so he must have done something pretty bad to Austin. Didn’t he have any other alternatives? Austin says he doesn’t think he could have done anything else. Except maybe he could have turned his cousin in to the police. That probably would have saved a lot of grief for everybody. TJ says, right, and leaves.
Laura asks if Ava is okay, and Ava says she’s sorry. She just needs a moment to absorb Laura’s news. Laura says she’s really sorry. Let her apologize for her son. She knows he treated Ava unconscionably during parts of the marriage and certainly the divorce. Ava says, if it makes Laura feel any better, she gave as good as she got, and then some. Laura says, it’s just such a shame, because she knows how much Nikolas really loved Ava, and she believes Ava loved him too. Who knows? Maybe after enough times passes, he’ll change his mind and come back to Port Charles and maybe they’ll be another chance for them. Ava says she doesn’t know. If Nikolas ever did love her, he doesn’t anymore.
Lois tells Sonny, so then, her Aunt Kiki – who’s had one too many glasses of chardonnay – falls flat on her face after toasting the bride and groom. But without even missing a beat, she jumps up on the bar, does a full split, grabs the bartender by the face and kisses him right on the mouth. Sonny says, tall, blonde, she was a character, and Lois says, she was, but this was before she married Lois’s uncle, who was a fireman. She had a thing for firemen. He says, they were all wilder back in the day. Speaking of which, has she seen Ned, or Eddie? He doesn’t know what Ned’s calling himself these days. She says she has and it’s so bizarre. All of the Quartermaines, every one of them, has a different theory about what’s going on with him. He asks, what’s her take? and she says she honestly doesn’t know. She’s still trying to figure it out.
Olivia tells Tracy, as she’s said repeatedly, she’s not having her husband committed. And she can’t believe Tracy would use the term shock therapy, which they have done in half a century because it’s considered barbaric. Tracy says she’s just trying to motivate Olivia into doing something, and Olivia says, that’s Tracy’s problem, because she’s not going to force him into therapy he does not want to do. If he wants to strum his guitar and be Eddie Maine for the rest of his life, she’s going to make peace with it. Tracy says, of course (🍷) you are. Why should she accept an executive husband, a responsible father when she can have Eddie Maine, a permanently arrested development adolescent rock and roller. Tracy storms out.
Cody and Dante join Sam and Sasha, and Cody says, sorry they’re late. He got stuck helping Dante run some errands. They were working on some home improvement project, and this guy is impressively useless at a hardware store. Sam asks if they were able to a stud finder, and Dante says, if that’s what it’s called. Sasha says, it sounds totally made up to her, and Dante says he knows maybe Cody has done some odd jobs in construction, but how did Sam know what a stud finder is? She kisses him and says, there are a still a lot of things he doesn’t know about her.
At the PC Grill, Lucy tells Martin that Blaze is going to be here any minute. What is she supposed to say to her? Hey there, guess what? Our majority shareholder had a temper tantrum and overruled her great idea. Martin says, let him understand something. All she wanted to do was rescind her offer to Blaze to be the new Face of Deception. She could have just called. Lucy says, no, no, no. She’s not going to rescind her offer, because she’s not bowing to Tracy. Blaze is the perfect spokesmodel now for their company and it wouldn’t hurt Sasha. Every success Deception has is a success… She’s here. Blaze comes over to the table, and Lucy says, she looks lovely. She introduces Martin, who says, it’s a pleasure to meet Blaze. Lucy speaks incredibly highly of her. Blaze says, it’s nice to meet him too, and Lucy tells him to grab a chair. She asks Blaze to join them, but Blaze says, no. She doesn’t want to drag this out. While she’s flattered by Lucy’s offer to be the new Face of Deception, she’s thought about it, and she’s going to have to pass. And not that Lucy’s asked for her opinion, but for what it’s worth (🍷), she thinks they should stick with the face they’ve already got. She leaves and Lucy looks sad.
Brook asks if Kristina has seen Blaze; they’re supposed to meet here. Kristina says, Blaze told her to let Brook know that she had to run a quick errand, but will be back shortly. Brook thanks her, and Kristina asks if she can get Brook anything. Brook says she’ll take a club soda. She needs a clear head for what she’s about to do.
Looking at her phone, Laura tells Ava, sorry. Duty calls. Ava says she totally understands, and Laura says she has to get going, but it’s so good to see her back in her gallery, safe and sound. Ava says, as bad as it was, she knows the worst is behind her, and it’s time to focus on her future. Laura says, that’s very smart of her. They’ll talk soon. She leaves, and Ava sits down, her head in her hands. She calls Austin who’s still at the bar, and he says, finally. He’s happy to hear from her. She says, her gallery. Now.
Finn says, you’d think he would have diagnosed his own OCD years ago, and Elizabeth tells him, you know what they say; doctors make the worst patients. She never stops learning new things about him. He says he doesn’t think having OCD is that interesting. He thinks she’s the fascinating one. She’s this amazing artist, but she’s also this compassionate healer who happens to be the Head Nurse at a major metropolitan hospital. She says, he’s just being nice, and he says he’s been described a lot of ways over the years, and nice is never on the list. Trust him. She tells him that she doesn’t care what anyone says, because she knows he’s nice… and handsome, and so, so smart. The whole backgammon thing, she can take it or leave it, but she also knows he’s a really good friend, an amazing father, and an excellent doctor. He says he can’t stand any more of these compliments. It’s making him very, very uncomfortable. So he’s going to kiss her now before she can say anything else about him. She says her plan worked, and kisses him. There’s a song part, and they go to the bedroom and get busy.
Sonny shows Lois pictures on his phone. He says, those are his grandkids. That’s Rocco, Dante’s son. She says, he’s so grown-up and he’s handsome, just like his grandpa. He says, and that’s Michael’s kids, Amelia and Wiley, and she says she can’t wait until Brook has kids. She and Chase would make beautiful children. She thinks Chase is a good guy. Does Sonny know him? He says, yeah, he works at the PCPD with Dante, and she says she knows, but cops aren’t his favorite. He asks what she’s talking about. He loves everyone. She says, he does? What about the Feds? She heard they called him in last month. What was that about? He says, a simple case of mistaken identity, and she says, uh-huh.
Eddie says he owes Olivia a big thank you, and she says, for what? He says, she accepts him for who he is, and she defended him. She defended his right to be himself. She says she’s not going to try and make him be someone he’s not. He’s a spectacular musician. He’s a wonderful, kind-hearted man. He thanks her, and she says, but she’s never going to stop missing her husband, and leaves.
Lucy tells Martin that they don’t even know if Sasha still wants to be the Face of Deception after the hell she went through. She really is still recovering. They don’t know if she’s camera ready or will ever be camera ready. Lucy has lots of classic products she needs to rebrand and new products she wants to launch, and Blaze would have been absolutely perfect. Martin says, except for the part where she doesn’t want the job, and Lucy says, the reason they can’t do this is because of Tracy. She really did bulldoze everybody so she would get her way. She didn’t even have the chance to do her full court press to win Blaze over. She could have had Blaze signed up, locked down, and she wouldn’t even have time to reconsider. He says, so Lucy wanted to trap her, but she says, no. What she wanted was to not take this lying down. You know what she’s going to do? She needs to show Tracy exactly who she’s dealing with. She jumps up, kisses Martin loudly on the cheek, and dashes out.
Cody says he took a look at Dante’s renovation plans for the family room, and if they really made a push, they could probably finish it in four days. Sam asks if he’s offering to help, and he says he is. Sasha says, count her in too.
Blaze tells Brook, sorry to keep her waiting, but Brook says, don’t worry about it. Kristina says she’ll give them some privacy, and Brook says, so let’s get down to business.
Austin arrives at the gallery where Ava is waiting for him. He says, she’s beautiful, and he’s just so glad she’s okay and that she called… She says, he’s drunk, and he says, yeah. It’s been a hell of a day. She says, yes, it has, because she just found out that Nikolas is very much alive.
Laura meets Martin at the Grill, and he says, there she is, his baby sister. They hug, and he says he’s so happy she’s back. He missed her so much. She says she missed him too, and they sit down. She says she’s really sorry she didn’t reach out sooner, but he says he can only imagine how she has to manage the city and their wacky family. She says, what are they going to do about their wacky brother?
Austin says, Nikolas is alive? and Ava says, yes. Laura tracked him to Geneva. While she didn’t see him, his banker told her that he’d been to the bank several times in person. He says, that’s great. Isn’t that great? No more blackmail. She says, yeah. It occurred to her, for months now, she’s been following orders from him, Mason, and their mystery boss, because if she didn’t, they’d deliver Nikolas’s body to the police. But if Nikolas is alive and well in Switzerland, she just needs to know one thing. Did he know about it?
TJ goes into Mason’s room, and Mason says, what’s up, doc? Did TJ come to finish what his cousin started? TJ says he’s a doctor. He took an oath to save lives, not end them. Mason says, so he guesses TJ expects a thank you for saving his, but TJ says, no. He came back here to explain why. He would never condone murder, even for someone as despicable as Mason. Sure, Austin would have most likely been caught, and it would have wrecked the rest of his life. That was a factor, but the biggest reason he stopped Austin was, it would be letting Mason off way too easy. Once Mason is convicted for his many crimes, he’s going to spend the rest of his life in prison. Sure, it will be for what he did to Ava, not what he did to TJ, but as long as Mason is locked up forever, he sees that as a win.
Lois says, in some ways, Sonny is different, but in a lot of ways, he’s the same old Sonny that she knows and loves. He says, different how? and she says she doesn’t know. Maybe he’s more… confident, if that’s even possible. She knows what it is. He’s more centered. Hey, she doesn’t know about him, but she’s starving, and that biscotti’s just not doing it for her anymore. He says he’ll get the chef to make something for her, or he’ll make something for her, and she says she’s Gloria’s daughter. Don’t insult her like that. He says, kitchen’s in the back, and she thanks him, and heads for the kitchen.
Brook says, here it is, giving Blaze a folder. The official contract for her to become Blaze’s manager. As she promised, it’s everything they discussed and agreed upon, but she encourages Blaze to read it again. They both made the massive mistake of signing contracts with that sleaze Linc Brown. She’s learned her lesson. She will never again not read the fine print and advises Blaze to do the same. She also had her attorney keep the legalese to a minimum, so she’ll know what she’s signing. Blaze thanks her, and says she appreciates Brook has been where she’s at and that Brook has her best interests in mind. But just in case, she’s going to read it through anyway.
Sasha says, just to be clear, she wants to help, but has zero experience with carpentry or any kind of home improvement. But she’s a hard worker and willing to take direction. Cody asks what Sam and Dante say, and Dante says he feels bad accepting their help. It’s a lot of hard work. Sam says, and at the end of the day, all they’d be getting is beer and a couple of pizzas, and Cody says he knows they mean well, but if they don’t cut it out, they’re going to start hurting his feelings. They’re offering to help because they’re Dante and Sam’s friends.
Basking in the afterglow, Elizabeth says, everything about this is magical, and thanks Finn for planning such a special trip. He says, she doesn’t have to thank him. It’s amazing. She says she had so much fun today. She loved tapping those maple trees. He says he’ll never think of maple syrup the same way again, and she says, her neither, kissing him. (I wonder what they did with it…)
Lois serves Sonny a pasta dish, and says, just for you, old friend. Although she’s got to tell him something. That kitchen in there needs work. He says, oh really? and she says, he should be happy he has a friend who tells him the truth. He asks if he told her how happy he is she’s back, and she says she’s happy to be back. They eat, and now I want pasta.
Cody says, Dante has been a good friend to him, and Sam, in the short time he’s known her, has proven she’s someone he can count on. So he’d offer them his help even if they hadn’t just put themselves on the line to help take down Dr. Montague. But they did, so as a friend, he’s doubly motivated to help them. Sasha says she feels the same way as Cody. They saved her sanity. They saved her life. Sam says she’s just glad that whole nightmare is over. Dante says, time for a fresh start, and Sam raises her beer mug. She asks if they’re doing this, and they agree, clinking glasses.
Blaze says, this contract seems pretty straightforward. She’s about to sign, when Brook says, hang on. They need a witness. She asks Kristina to join them for a second and tells her that they need a witness to Blaze signing this contract. Kristina says, happy to help, and Blaze signs. Kristina signs, and Brook says, that’s it; they’re official. Blaze thanks Kristina for being her witness, and Kristina says, anytime. She goes back to work, and Brook says, congratulations, client. Blaze says, thank you, manager, and they shake hands. Kristina tells them, wait. It’s time to celebrate. She brings over two bottles of beer, and says, here’s to making beautiful music. Brook and Blaze clink bottles.
At the Quartermaine mansion, Tracy says, Lucy wanted to see her, and Lucy says she did. Okay, Tracy wins. Sasha will continue to be the Face of Deception, and there will absolutely be no contract for Blaze. Tracy says she knows. They decided this days ago. Lucy says, but Tracy should know, that’s the last decision she gets to make for Deception. Her dream, her vision, and it’s her company. She leaves, and Tracy says, that she owns 51% of.
Martin tells Laura that he has to admit when Cyrus had that coronary, he worried. Isn’t that somethin’? No matter how angry he gets at their brother or how little he trusts him, he couldn’t help but care. She asks if he believes Cyrus’s religious conversion is genuine, but he says he’s not sure. She knows better than anybody how suspicious he was when all that started. Now he’s not certain after seeing him in that hospital bed. He nearly died; that changes a person. She says, one of the arguments for his release was that he’s an old man in poor health, and therefore couldn’t hurt anyone. Does that sound like Cyrus to him? He says, no. It sounds like he’s playing possum. She says, that’s kind of what she thought too. His heart attack might have brought him closer to God, but it definitely bought him his freedom. It kind of makes her think their brother is just as shrewd as he ever was.
Ava says she asked Austin a question. Did he know Nikolas was alive or not? He says he had no idea. None. He thought she’d go to prison for murdering Nikolas. That’s why he did everything Mason asked him to do. He had no idea Nikolas was alive. And Mason is a liar who lies all the time. He lies to everyone about everything. She has to believe him. She says, does he know what really scares her? She really wants to believe him.
Finn watches Elizabeth sleeping in his arms. He shuts off the light, and kisses her forehead.
Tomorrow, Charlotte asks if Valentin doesn’t trust her; Anna says, it’s exactly what she needs; Josslyn asks Adam to come to Kelly’s with her; and Cyrus takes Trina hostage – again. I think that’s possibly going to turn out to be a dream because I doubt he’s that stupid.
Below Deck Mediterranean
The captain sees the lack of communication between Lara and Max, In her interview, she says, there’s a language barrier, but she thinks it’s how Max uses the radio. He needs to slow down, and Luka needs to figure it out. He’s never been a bosun, and managing personalities is the hard part. Anchor is home, and Tumi tells Jack, happy birthday. In his interview, Jack says his birthdays are always on a yacht, and Tumi reminds him that he’s doing pizza with the kids today. In Luka’s interview, he says, Sandy is a great teacher. He’s learning new skills, and they’re feeding his adrenaline addiction. His mom ripped around on a sports bike when she was pregnant with him. Her craving was petrol, and he thinks that’s where it came from. Lara tells Kyle about Max wanting to know how much experience she had, and they both speak in Afrikaans. In her interview, she says she likes cursing in Afrikaans. It makes her feel better. She lets out a string of curses, and I laugh because the bleep is so long. In Kyle’s interview, he says he and Natalya are like brother and sister. They tease each other, but she has a constant I-can-do-better-than-you attitude, and it’s annoying. She talks and he hears absolutely nothing. Luka explains to Max how to use the radio, and in his interview, Luka says, Lara doesn’t have calm and patience. In Lara’s interview, she says, her mom told her, since she was born she’d get blackout angry. She’s been alone with her mom since the age of two, and her mom grifted to keep them alive. It taught her not to be lazy and work toward what she wants. She never wants to be in that situation again. Luka flirts with Natalya, who would be fun if she wasn’t an a-hole. Her boyfriend AJ texts that he’s going to Thailand with some friends, and in Natalya’s interview, she says, last night, he had five girls over and she wonders what he’s doing over there. Lara tells Haleigh that she hates when guys get all macho, and Haleigh says she has a list of things she hates. She’s scared of anteaters; they look prehistoric. And why don’t pockets in women’s garments make sense? Personally, I think there aren’t enough pockets in women’s garments, and there should be a law about that. Anchor is dropped in Cinque Terre, and the kids make pizza with Jack. In Jack’s interview, he says, besides being a chef, he was also an English teacher. The kids were three, and he was basically a babysitter, so that’s the approach he’s taking. Natalya helps with the pizza, and it reminds me of my first job, short order cook in an Italian restaurant. I used to literally dream about making pizzas. Kyle tells Tumi that she’s lucky she doesn’t room with Natalya; Natalya can talk. We see a clip of her going on and on, and Kyle telling her to go to sleep. In Tumi’s interview, she says, if Kyle is talking sh*t about Natalya, that means he’s talking sh*t about her. She doesn’t know what’s going on, but it’s not genuine. Toppings are put on the pizza, and it goes in the oven. The kids dump flour on Haleigh’s head, but she takes it in stride because, tip. Lara gives Max instructions about a cable and starts to get frustrated since he listens to nothing. In Max’s interview, he says, it doesn’t matter what Lara’s title is. He feels like she doesn’t respect him and he doesn’t care.
In his interview, Max says he feels that Lara needs to be exercised [sic], and a producer corrects him, since what he means is, she needs an exorcist. Natalya complains, and in her interview, she says, she gets triggered by laziness. In childhood, her house was immaculate. Her mom was in charge of the inside and her dad was in charge of the outside. It was like a yacht with an interior and exterior crew. That’s why she’s like this. The pizza is served, and Natalya reminds everyone that tomorrow is the last day of charter, and the guests want them dressed as pirates all day. Jack has made an Italian lunch, and in his interview, he says, he’s good at cooking Italian food and loves to eat it. Lunch is served and it’s total… food porn! Luka radios Max, and in his interview, Luka says, it’s like having a toddler. He has to explain everything, and when Max isn’t happy, he throws a tantrum. He tells Max to help Haleigh, and the guests say the lunch is amazing and delicious. In Tumi’s interview, she says she loves chaos. If it gets still, she destabilizes. She needs to go, go, go or not go at all. If you’re still in your pajamas at 10 am, the day’s ruined. Tumi calls Natalya to the crew mess and tells her that she’s going on a hiking excursion with the guests. In her interview, Natalya says, she doesn’t like hiking; it’s a living hell. Who likes walking up a cliff? No one. Well, probably hikers do. Luka tells Haleigh that she’s going as well, and they leave in the tender. Max has wandered off his post, and Lara tells him to never leave the stern alone. She puts him on a break, probably just to get him away from her. She tells Luka that Max is now an irritation, and in Luka’s interview, he says, one things he’s noticed about Max is, he doesn’t like being told off. He calls Max to meet him on the bow. On shore, the guests climb up to an observation deck, where there’s a statue of St. Francis and a dog. In Natalya’s interview, she says, maybe if she prays to him, he and his dog will help her figure out what’s happening with her love life. It’s an amazing view, and when they guests are finished sightseeing, Natalya calls for the tender. Tumi tells Luka that Natalya is ready, and Jack makes lunch. On a side note, I heard cheffy has now been included in the dictionary. Ugh. It sounds so silly, and since when are pet names in the dictionary? As they pull up to the boat, primary Roy says, all that walking worked up an appetite. Tumi meets them with drinks, non-alcoholic for the kids, and he says, this is the greatest vacation ever. In her interview, Natalya says, everything feels like it’s last minute, and her relationship is affecting her work life. It’s causing anxiety, and she vents loud. Her truce with Tumi is a small step she’s taking toward no violence.
Captain Sandy calls Luka and Lara to the bridge and tells Lara that she’s going to be driving when they haul anchor. In the captain’s interview, she says, Lara works really hard, and she cares. She wants Lara to see how good communication is when she’s at the bow maneuvering. Max and Luka haul anchor, and Captain Sandy instructs Lara on steering. In Lara’s interview, she says, it’s her dream job to be captain and this is giving her the shivers. In her interview, she says, when she was young, she had a vision of herself as a captain with a little monkey on her shoulder, like Captain Hook. She thanks the captain and says she’ll never forget this. The captain tells her to make a turn, then go back to center. Lara follows instructions, and the captain says, excellent work. Lara says she’s a bit stressed, and in Captain Sandy’s interview, she says, Lara is like a little Sandy back in the day. She thinks Lara would make a good captain. Everyone gets ready for dinner, and AJ texts Natalya to call him before she goes out tomorrow. Food porn Dinner is served, and Roy says, eating while moving is like music. I don’t get what that, since it seems like it might be more annoying than musical. In Lara’s interview, she says, it’s like a light switch went off. Max is completely in outer space. Natalya mumbles, and in Kyle’s interview, he says he feels she’s being stable since the reset, but she’s not past regression. She’s always convinced something is wrong when no one else sees anything. The drama girl. Anchor is dropped, and Lara says, what a good day. She’s taking that in since it’s rare. Roy and his family play Yahtzee, and Natalya makes up clues for the treasure hunt. In Tumi’s interview, she says, they’ll most likely never be best friends. Unfortunately, she saw the demon first. We flash back to that, and Tumi says, goddammit. The best guests in the world go to bed, and in Luka’s interview, he wonders what Natalya wants. Is it on or off? She’s his type, but trying is getting harder. Who is he to Natalya? A side piece?
Final day of charter; Pirates of the Mediterranean. In Lara’s interview, she says, hop on the fun train; they’re having fun today. Natalya goes over the treasure hunt with the interior, and everyone dresses up. Luka tells Lara, Natalya is shy about her boyfriend, and Lara says she thought they were in an open relationship. Jessika calls Captain Sandy and says she’s much better. The captain says, they’ll see her on the dock in Genoa. Breakfast is served; otherwise known as… food porn! Tumi tells Natalya to start getting ready for the treasure hunt, and in Natalya’s interview, she says, she used to be a nanny to three boys. She’s got the pirate party down pat. Captain Sandy gathers the guests and says she needs help finding the lost treasure. She gives them the first clue; near the piano, they’ll see a cannonball clue near a key. They go to the piano, and find the next clue; outside the doors, there’s a cannonball game. They need to score 3 for the next clue. After they play the game, the next clue says to have a pirate fight with Captain Sharkbites. Max plays the captain, and the kids duel with him. Obviously, he lets them win, and the next clue is, find the cook with a hook for the final clue. Jack gives them the last one; find the pirate flag and secure the bag. They find a bag with a bunch of fake jewels and treasure in it. Guest Asa tells Captain Sandy that it was so fun, and in Tumi’s interview, she says, that’s why she wanted Natalya to do it. She knew Natalya would enjoy it and it’s up her ally. Plus, she doesn’t have to since she couldn’t care less. Natalya put so much love into it and Tumi is proud of her. Natalya says, it lifted her spirits. Anchor is home, and in Luka’s interview, he says, Max is more productive when he’s encouraged. He’s finally learning how Max works instead of getting frustrated. Roy asks if tiny guest Beau is thankful for their good time on the boat, and they get ready to dock. It’s a seriously tight squeeze, and in his interview, Luka says, the gap looks smaller than the boat. He doesn’t know how Captain Sandy trusts him to bring this thing in.
As they dock, guest Ehren says, this is intense, and guest Erika says, Captain Sandy is amazing. Ehren says, look how f***ing tight they are, and the lines are thrown. The captain says, good job everyone, and Max says he’s not doing any push-ups today. It’s time for goodbyes, and Roy says, they’re so lucky. Asa says, it’s the best vacation ever. The treasure hunt warmed her heart. Roy says, they know they’re safe in the captain’s hands and always have a good time. He gives her the tip envelope, and they leave. In Luka’s interview, he says, the game’s been going on too long. Hopefully tonight.
At the tip meeting, Captain Sandy says, they were amazing. They were down a person, but she never had concern. She asks them to give Natalya a hand for the treasure hunt, and one for Luka who stepped into the bosun position like he’d been there. And one more hand for Lara becoming lead deckhand. She’s doing an awesome job. She sees what needs to be done and does it. They’re an awesome team. The tip is $28K or $2300 each, and she says, it speaks volumes. She tells them that Jessika is coming back, so they’ll have their support back. They all clink glasses of champagne, and whatever for the captain. In Jessika’s interview, she says she’s 99.9% better. Put me in, coach; I’m ready. They crew goes out, and in the taxi, there’s a lot of random sex talk, and Lara says, this is the most sexual group ever. They go to a bar and do shots. Jack flirts with a girl there, and in his interview, he says, there’s no one on the boat for him. In Natalya’s interview, she says, when she and Luka touch, she feels like a sex addict. Jessika feels left out, and Max and Kyle smoke from a hookah. Everyone dances, and Jack kisses the girl he’s flirting with, calling her the lady in red. I just keep thinking, aren’t they going to eat something? Natalya calls AJ, and she says, she doesn’t know what position she’s in with him… Of course she becomes close with the people she works and lives with… She wouldn’t do that. She wouldn’t lie. Luka and Kyle discuss Natalya’s relationship, and Natalya tells AJ that she has to deal with him while she’s stuck on the boat. How does he think she feels when she asks if he’s been with anyone? In her interview, she says, if he told her to come home, she would.
In Tumi’s interview, she says, there’s sexual tension between Luka and Natalya. She thinks Natalya doesn’t know what she wants. Just do it already. Natalya says, it’s the strangest situation in her life, and Lara asks why she doesn’t want to do it with Luka. Natalya sits on Luka’s lap and asks if they should go to the jacuzzi. In Luka’s interview, he says, the chase goes on, and they head back to the boat. In the taxi, Luka says, AJ can do what he wants, but Natalya can’t, and Haleigh tells them, kiss now and stop being stupid. In Natalya’s interview, she says, it’s so good, but so bad. When they get back, Max does push-ups on railing. Natalya calls Luka into the bathroom, and we hear kissing sounds. Kyle knocks on the door and says, he’s going to… the thing. I don’t even think he knows what he means, since they’re all so drunk. I just think, drunk on a boat where you sleep in a bunk? No, just no. Luka gets in Natalya’s bunk with her, and she says she knows it’s difficult. He kisses her, and honestly, I don’t think I kiss that loud. Why is it always so loud and smacky sounding? Do they amplify the volume? In the bunk below, Kyle says, sweet dreams, angels. As they’re kissing, AJ calls, and Luka says, go for it. It’s going to be funny. Answer it. Kyle says, don’t, and Natalya says she’s confused. Luka says, get in line, and Natalya says, it’s not going be good.
Next time, Captain Sandy says the next charter is all young girls and maintain as much as they’re temped; Natalya talks to AJ; Kyle argues with Jessika and says she’s not on the team; and Captain Sandy breaks her wrist.
🐦⬛ Gently Rapping At the Chamber Door…
Come on by tomorrow for soap and Halloween shenanigans. Until then, stay safe, stay driving extra safely on Halloween and take a car service if you’re drinking, and stay being happy if you have a friend who tells you the truth.