What I Watched Today
(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)
Like Willy Wonka, I am striking that and reversing it on Sunday nights, and it’s zombies before Wives. Now that Once Upon a Time is back, I had to switch my TV viewing sequence around.
Once Upon a Time
We are in an Arabian kingdom, flying carpets and all. A man says the kingdom is in great danger and they need a savior, but the savior is not seeing anyone today. The man is persistent and Jafar pops out and turns him into dust, along with the woman who was fielding the savior’s visitors. Jafar tells the savior that when they met, he was a common thief, and the fate of saviors is to give, breaking off their branches until all that’s left is a shaky stump. He says you never hear the words “happily ever after” about a savior. It’s Aladdin he’s talking to and he tells him to take care.
Hook and Emma are making out on the couch. The earth moves, but not in a good way. They go outside and see a ship floating through the air – awesome! It’s a dirigible from The Land of Untold Stories. Hyde appears, tells everyone that it’s his and that The Dark One gave him the town.
Regina and Emma zap Hyde, but he just laughs. He says nothing is more dangerous than an untold story and the people who don’t want them told. The dirigible crashes in the forest.
Emma and the others check it out. Snow says it looks like the people inside ran. Jekyll says he may be able to salvage a weapon to take down the stranger. Emma has a vision about fighting someone. Hook asks her what’s up, but she says nothing.
Rumple looks for Hyde. He’s exchanged the keys to Storybrooke for the answer to waking Belle. Hyde has told him in the Temple of Morpheus there are sands that will allow him to walk in Belle’s dreams and he can wake her from there. Rumple uses the sand and meets Morpheus in the forest. He tells Rumple welcome to Belle’s dream world and asks if he’d like to wake her up.
Regina visits Zelena and tells her what happened with Hyde. Zelena suggests barbecuing Hyde and puts her daughter down for a nap. Regina says nothing is working and they need to plan. Zelena has an arrow feather from Robin for her, but can’t find it. Regina puts a protection spell over the house and the vault.
Snow tells Regina that Jekyll finished his weapon, so they might not have to worry about protection. Regina tells Snow about Zelena forgetting where she put the feather, which she thinks is odd behavior. She decides to forget about it for now, since heroism comes first.
Hyde is holed up at the town hall. Regina pretends to have Jekyll prisoner to lure him outside. She tells Hyde to leave town and Jekyll is his. He suggests she keep both Jekyll and Storybrooke, and not embarrass herself. She distracts him while Emma aims Jekyll’s weapon, which looks like a small mortar, but she has another vision. She starts to shake and Regina almost gets strangled by Hyde. Emma finally shoots and Hyde becomes their prisoner. He tells Emma that he knows more than she does, and if she wants to know what’s happening to her, she knows where to find him.
Emma is all weird and shaky, while she’s messing around the dirigible. Archie (otherwise known as Jiminy Cricket) and Pongo come by with coffee. Emma says her parents must have sent him and she’s not in the mood for therapy right now. He says she’s been fighting forever and now that the walls are down, it’s let in collateral damage. He says there are no short cuts to fixing the big problems.
Emma goes to see Hyde. He calls her a smart girl, and she says keep calling her girl and he’ll find out how smart she is. He wants her to take off the cuffs. He says prisoners respond to carrots and sticks and she has neither. She starts to leave and he says he knows about the battle in her mind’s eye. She tells him that she’s been in prison and the worst part was being alone. She says she knows how he feels, and he can spill the beans or stay lonely. He can sit there in silence and rot. Hyde says she did come with a stick after all and it’s impressive except for one small thing – she’s afraid of him. He tells her he brought someone to help her with her problem, and to follow the red bird. He wonders if she’s ready for her story though.
I swear Rumple just said Belle is dreaming about White Castle, but I guess he said the white castle. He and Morpheus go into the castle and Belle acts like a servant. Morpheus tells Rumple that’s how she sees herself in her dream and he’s a beast. Morpheus sets up a giant hourglass timer. He says if Rumple doesn’t wake Belle in an hour, she’ll end up with a fiery fate. Rumple says he’ll make her fall in love with him again.
Morpheus says the castle terrifies Belle, but Rumple says it’s also where they fell in love. He says his love for her and their child will never be a lie. Belle brings tea and Rumple comes out in full Rumple regalia. Belle is all nervous and drops a cup, but he says everything is cool and maybe she should take a break. She asks him what’s going on. He says he has a ball to attend later and he asks her to dance. They dance to the music from Beauty and the Beast. He says there’s one more thing they need and he zaps the yellow ballgown onto her. She asks what’s come over him, and he says maybe he’s tired of being a beast. Very nice scene.
Zelena comes to Regina’s house and asks her if she got Hyde. Regina says yes, but it’s the first time she’s been back since Robin died. She asks Zelena to go. Zelena says they should be helping each other, but Regina says not this time because she blames Zelena. Zelena says what about Emma, who dragged her to hell? Regina says she chose to go, but she trusted Zelena, and Robin’s soul was destroyed. Zelena says Regina ripped out the part of her that made them most alike. Zelena says she and the baby will be gone by tonight, and she disappears poof! in a puff of green smoke.
Snow and the gang look for the people from the dirigible. Snow can tell that they’re afraid. She calls to them, saying Hyde is locked up and they want to help. They see shadows of people with torches come out of the forest. Snow tells them they’ll be at Granny’s where there’s food and shelter for them.
Emma walks through the forest with Hook and sees the red bird. She asks him to go and he knows something is up, but leaves. Emma follows the red bird. She sees a girl who says the bird is her pet. She says she knows many things, including why Emma is there. She says the visions tell a story of her future.
Regina is doing a locator spell when Henry walks in. She’s trying to find the feather and Henry says it’s not working because it’s looking for Robin and he’s gone. Regina says Hades told her that Robin’s soul was destroyed, but Henry believes that he’s in a special place.
Belle and Rumple dance. She says it’s a shame he’s been alone for so long and he says he wasn’t always alone; there was a son who left because he saw the darkness. Rumple says he had a chance to change but was too frightened. Belle asks if he could change now, would he? He says for her, he would be the best man he could be. They kiss.
All of the memories come flooding back. Belle says they’ve done this before and she can’t do this again. He explains they fell in love and got married and now their child is in danger. She put herself to sleep, but he needs her to wake up now. She says she loves him and believes he loves her, but together they cause heartbreak. Morpheus pops in and says he had to be sure Belle wouldn’t fall for Rumple’s lies again. Now he can wake her up with true loves kiss. She says she doesn’t know him and he says she’s known him since the day he was conceived. He’s their son and it’s his dream too. He says don’t let Rumple destroy them like he did his lost family.
Morpheus gives Belle a kiss on the forehead and she wakes up. Belle tells Rumple that their son was testing her, pretending to be Morpheus. Rumple says they can discuss it at home and makes sparkly, blue swirly things in the mirror. Belle says her son gave her a warning and she’s going to listen, and walks into the mirror.
The girl says she’s called an oracle, but knowing the future is a heavy burden. Emma sees herself battling a hooded figure. The Storybrooke crew are running toward them as Emma’s sword gets knocked from her hand. She tells the hooded figure she’s not going to let them get hurt. Her hand starts to shake and he runs his sword through her. The oracle says this is just a small piece of her end story. She can change the destination, but the result will be the same. She’ll die in the battle she saw. Since no one really dies on this show, I wouldn’t be too worried.
Emma goes back to Hyde. She asks him what’s coming and how to stop it. She says no matter what, she’ll defeat it. He says that’s what saviors always say, but there’s always a villain to bring them down. She has to ask herself if helping others is what causes her story to end.
Emma joins Hook at the bar. He says she’s in a better mood, and she tells him it was just stress, and Archie helped her. He asks if she’s sure and she says she is, and joins him in having a drink.
Snow tells Regina it will work out. Snow takes Regina’s hand and Regina says she was an awful stepmother. Snow says that’s in the past. Regina asks how she held up during those terrible times. She says the only way she could stay alive was to never give up and Regina is the one who taught her that hope is a choice. Regina says Hades was wrong; Robin is at peace. She’s been thinking about how the people with untold stories were hiding, and she says that’s exactly what she used to do. Her life had stopped. The only story she heard was the one she told herself, that she was the evil queen. She forgot the most important thing, that life isn’t just one story, there’s many. To some, she’s a villain, but to others, she’s a hero. They see her strength and ability to do right, even when she thought she couldn’t. She’s going to start a new story and chooses to believe this story will have a better ending.than the last one.
They walk off together, and we see a feather drop to the ground.
The untold story people are at Granny’s getting clothing and food. Belle looks out from inside Mr. Gold’s shop. Emma is looking mighty shaky.
Zelena comes home and sees Regina. No, it’s the Evil Queen. She tells Zelena that all she ever wanted was a sister, and when she got her wish, it was the wrong one. Zelena is shocked the Evil Queen is alive and she says she can’t be gotten rid of that easily. The Evil Queen suggest they have a drink and that it’s time for some sisterly bonding.
This season, the secret of the savior is revealed, Cinderella joins the team, and the Evil Queen and Zelena join forces.
Fear the Walking Dead
A crowd of people beg to come into the hotel. Alicia says it’s a mistake, they don’t have anything. Madison says sorry. The people grab at the gate. There is shouting and crying. Madison sees Travis among them.
Poor Mr Spanish Guy lies dead with Chris standing over him. Baby James is still alive. Travis takes charge and says he’s going to try and stitch up the wound. He runs to the house to look for whatever he can find, rifling through drawers. Surprisingly, he’s quite good at stitching, even though Baby James is twitching and whining the whole time. Now he has to do the exit wound. He says after he does that, they won’t move him until he’s better and Baby James finally shuts up. He ain’t called Baby for nothin’. I’m very impressed at both Travis’s cool and his skills.
Travis buries Mr. Whatever-the-hell-his-name-is with his family. Suarez! It’s Suarez. Now that he’s in the ground, I have his name. Travis is working on some kind of adrenaline because he’s just flying through all this.
The guys cook a chicken for dinner. Travis asks Baby James how he’s doing. His pain is only level 3 or 4, so he’s doing pretty well. Travis says he can’t help him if he doesn’t know what’s going on, so if anything gets worse, let him know. Travis asks Chris to talk. He tells Chris he killed a man today, and the least he could do is let it affect his appetite. Travis wants to know what he’s thinking. Chris says the guy shot his friend, what was he supposed to do? Travis says they’re savages. Chris says this is how it works now – no more good or bad, no right or wrong, it’s kill or be killed, sorrynotsorry. He tells Travis how he would hide every recess in middle-school and Travis told him to play along and fit in. Travis says the operative phrase was play along. Chris says Travis has proved his worth, and be careful how he plays it because they need theses guys .Travis says he doesn’t need them, but Chris says he does.
Madison tells them to open the gate for Travis. They manage to get Travis through a small opening while keeping the others out. He and Madison cling to each other.
Travis looks out from a balcony. Madison asks if he wants a shower, but he says no. You sure about that? She asks if he wants food and he says he doesn’t need anything. He asks where Victor is, and she says he ran off, possibly to Tijuana. She asks about Chris. Travis gets a weird look on his face and goes inside. He tells her he had no choice and she asks where Chris is.
We go back to earlier. The chickens have run out, so it’s moving day. Baby James claims his pain is at zero, but Travis is skeptical. The guys want to go to San Diego. Travis repeats that it’s burned and Chris says they never actually saw that. The guys all insist on leaving, but frankly, I think James looks scared.
Travis looks at Mr. Suarez’s grave and then goes inside the house .He looks at all the family pictures on the walls. Damn. And I thought I had a lot of photos. He finds Mr Suarez’s license and makes a grave marker using the info. Like this means anything. Chris says they’re leaving, and Travis says too bad, he’s finishing this.
Travis joins the rest and they slide Baby James into the bed of the truck. He doesn’t sound like his pain is a zero. Travis rides in the back with Baby James and Chris. They start off and already James isn’t looking too good. Travis checks his pulse and tells them if they don’t stop, Baby James is going to die. He barely has a pulse. They go back.
Travis hears Chris talking with the others. Travis tells them they need to give Baby James more time. He says they can survive there for enough time for James to heal. He tells them Baby James is scared of them, and he’s starting to get why. Travis grabs Chris’s gun. One of the guys says he doesn’t have the balls to use it and Travis shoots close. The guy jumps up, brandishing his own gun. Chris asks why Travis is doing this and he says he’s doing it for him.
Travis tends to Baby James. He tells him his buddies want to put him down. Baby James asks why Travis thinks he agreed to get in the truck? He tells Travis about another friend, Troy. He was sick and they knew he was going to turn, and kept their promise to kill him if he did. He says when the time came, he begged them not to do it. Baby James ended up doing the dirty work. Travis says it’s all the same no matter where they go, just different people. He tells Baby James he’s not sick or dying, he just needs time. Baby James says it doesn’t matter, what matters is they think he is and he’s considered dead weight. Travis fingers the gun.
James sleeps while Travis guards him. Chris knocks at the barn door, saying he wants to talk and brought food. Travis tells him to set it down and frisks him. He says the others are down the road. Travis tells him to sit down. Chris says he gets it and Travis asks what he gets. Chris says he understands why Travis is trying to save people, because life matters. Chris says they’ve known Baby James since he was six and still want to kill him, so imagine what they might do to him. I wouldn’t trust this kid as far as I could throw him.
Yep. Travis is caught off-guard and Chris gets the better of him and lets the others in. Baby James begs for his life and Travis says don’t do it. Too late. Baby James is dead. I knew Chris was faking it – playing along. Travis is seriously bummed. Chris has his gun back and they guys pack the truck up again. Travis wants to talk to Chris. He tells Chris the name of the farmer and says he was born on Chris’s birthday. He tells Chris that this is forever and he’s barely 16. If he drives away, Travis will never find him. Chris tells him that his way doesn’t work. Travis promises to take care of him. Chris says by letting him go, he is. He says he’s adapting and better off without Travis. He says Travis found it in him to kill Chris’s zombified mother. Travis says there’s a difference and Chris says, no, there’s not, so that settles it. As they drive away, Travis begs Chris not to go. Then curses him out. I’ll bet we see Chris and the bros somewhere down the line again. Travis starts to walk.
Travis tells Madison he walked for two days and saw the hotel light, and what are the chances? He’s bummed about leaving Chris, but Madison tells him they’ll get through this. He says he failed his son and his wife. He goes back out on the balcony. Madison says he said it himself, there was no choice. Travis says he could have gone along with it. It would have been wrong, but he would have done right by Chris. Madison says he’s still out there. Travis says he was wrong when Chris threatened Alicia, and they should be parents first. Madison did what she was supposed to, but his priority should have been Chris. He says the whole time he was walking, he thought about how he should have told Chris he loved him. Instead, the last thing he said was “God damn you.” He says when Chris was a boy, he had a big heart, but by the time Madison met him, he was angry. Travis says he allowed Chris to become that way. He says they’re living minute by minute, and at any time, it could be over. He wishes he had ended things differently. Madison says she has to find Alicia and leaves.
Alicia and Andres are tending to the patients in a makeshift infirmary. Madison asks Alicia to come with her. They go out on the dock. Madison says there’s something Alicia needs to understand and to hear her out. She says it’s about Alicia’s father and his accident, and that it wasn’t an accident. She thought she was doing the right thing by not telling her. Alicia says Madison said he fell asleep at the wheel, and Madison says he didn’t. Alicia asks how she can be certain, and Madison says he left a note in his glove box. Alicia starts to cry and asks what it said. Madison says it’s not important. He was a man of few words who could be quite precise. Alicia insists. It said, I love you all and enough’s enough.
Alicia asks if Nick knows. Madison says Nick is why she kept it a secret. She says there’s a lot of Alicia’s father in Nick. She lists his positive qualities and says he just couldn’t see it. She asks to hold Alicia’s hand. She says she was afraid of Nick ending up like her father, but she never loved Alicia any less. She just thought Alicia was all right. Alicia says she had to be and Madison apologizes. She hugs Alicia. Alicia says she loves Madison too.
Travis takes a shower. He stands with his forehead on the wall.
Uh-oh. Here comes trouble. A small group comes to the gate . It’s those guys, but I don’t see Chris.
Next time, the 2-hour finale, Travis finds Chris, Victor returns, and there are lots and lots of zombies to make up for this episode.
The Real Housewives of New Jersey
Love Melissa’s dress in the opening. I’ll bet I’d like the stuff in her store. If I could fit in it.
The end of the last episode repeats. At lunch, Rosie wonders if Teresa never wants to be a family again. Teresa says her heart got hardened and asks her to respect that. She says she wishes them the best. Kathy asks if they can at least come away with a possibility. Teresa says they’re cousins and will always be there for each other as family. She and Joe #2 leave.
Teresa starts to cry and does that fanning thing. She says it’s exhausting. Joe #2 talks about how they were taught to never cry. He tells Teresa if that’s how she feels, that’s how she feels, and she says she feels like she doesn’t want to be around Kathy and Rosie.
Siggy and Dolores visit Jacqueline. They want the skinny on what happened. Jacqueline calls Kathy and Rosie. Kathy says Teresa said she has a lot on her plate and wants to keep her distance right now, but her door is open. Kathy makes like everything went more okay than it was.
Teresa packs for Vermont while Milania does some break dancing. Teresa wants the girls to spend time with their father, since he’ll be going to the pokey away soon.
Joe #2 tells Melissa it’s good of her to plan the trip. He says Teresa was really stressed out by the lunch with Kathy and Rosie, and thinks she could use the break. Melissa wants everyone to just have fun and not worry about anything. Good luck with that. Mutual friends Robyn and Christina are also coming. She tells Joe about how Jacqueline and Teresa seem to be doing better, but thinks Jacqueline still doubts Teresa and is paranoid of Melissa’s friendship with her.
Kim D (who the name Plastic would actually fit) is at her store, Posche. We flash back to the stupid fashion show she had where she tried to “expose” Melissa as a stripper. Or as Melissa says it, “shtripper.” Jacqueline and Siggy come in. Kim gossips about Melissa’s store and says that one of her assistants is selling stories. Jacqueline brings up Teresa selling books for cash at a time when it looked badly for her, and how it was leaked to the press. Siggy talks about how Melissa and Teresa are getting along better, but Kim D will have none of that, saying it’s all an act.
Joe #1 looks at a brochure on vaginal rejuvenation. I don’t want to know. Robyn and Christina arrive with their suitcases, as well a Melissa and Joe #2. The party bus comes with Jacqueline and Chris, and everyone gets on it. Since Joe #1 has been a bad boy, he can’t come. He’s not allowed to leave the state.
They discuss skiing, and who is good at it or not, swapping war stories. Joe #2 has already had enough of all the ladies talking at once. Siggy offers Teresa any help she might need when she’s a “single mother.” Chris says he’s the only one she can count on, and Joe brings up him trying to date Teresa. Chris says she was only interested in Joe #1.
Somehow the lunch comes up. Teresa compares it to breaking up with a guy – you still love him, but there’s nothing there. Robyn talks about actions speaking louder than words, but Dolores says they’re good people. We flash back to an issue Robyn had with Rosie. She says Rosie won’t even acknowledge her. In her interview, Jacqueline calls Robyn one of “Teresa’s soldiers,” and she questions Teresa having changed. Melissa says there seems to be no meeting of the minds, and Jacqueline starts getting loud about the message not having been clear. Melissa thinks she’s trying to push the relationship. Jacqueline says that if Teresa doesn’t want it, she totally gets it, but she needs to make it understood. Joe interjects that they might have gotten the wrong message when she said her door was open. Melissa opens some champagne. In her interview, Dolores says Robyn doesn’t really mesh well with the others.
After eight hours, they finally arrive and go immediately to the bar. They’ve rented a villa, and the suites or whatever are divvied up. Siggy tries on the many hats she’s brought with her.
Dinner time! All the women have their bathrobes on over their clothes. I have no clue why. It’s a family style meal and looks pretty damn good. Melissa announces her fashion show. Teresa thanks everyone for hanging out with her before Joe #1 leaves. Everyone says something positive and they toast. Joe #2 and Chris play shuffleboard (except it’s like a foosball table) and the girls go outside by the fire-pit.
Jacqueline tells Melissa what Kim D said about her assistant Derek and how he’s selling stories. In her interview, Melissa says Kim D is scraping the bottom of the barrel for gossip. She reminds the others about Kim D stirring the pot, trying to out her as the shtripper she never was. We flash back to that, and also a problem that Kim started between Jacqueline and Teresa. Teresa suggests Melissa just check Derek out.
Joe #2 talks to Chris about being glad he was born a man when he hears the girls bitching. Robyn tells Jacqueline she’s confusing and not very direct. She feels that Jacqueline tried to attack her and Jacqueline talks about her being a “loyal soldier” to Teresa. Robyn suggests they bring Teresa into the conversation, and in her interview, Jacqueline wonders why Robyn wants to drag Teresa into it. Um, maybe because you’re talking about her? Robyn asks Jacqueline what her problem is, and she says she wants to rage on Jacqueline’s ass. Jacqueline says bring it on and they tell each other to STFU and do that “no, you” stuff that I find funny coming from adults.
Jacqueline gets up and gets in Robyn’s face. Teresa comes out and asks what’s happening and they continue their argument. In her interview, Teresa says she’s never seen Robyn like this and wouldn’t be surprised if Jacqueline crossed the line. They go inside and Jacqueline keeps it up. Robyn calls her an instigator and Jacqueline tells Teresa she thought she’d cleaned house, but she forgot to take out the garbage. She’s so nasty. Or vicious, as Michael Rapaport would say.
Meanwhile back at Teresa’s house, Milania tries to cook while Joe #1 gives instructions like, don’t burn that. I can tell he’s at the end of his rope already and it’s only early morning.
Jacqueline refuses to come out of her room because she’s five years old. Teresa says she antagonizes the situation (ha-ha – I think she means aggravates) and then plays the victim. Truth! Melissa comes to breakfast in a bizarre ski outfit. Teresa asks Dolores why Jacqueline isn’t coming out and Dolores says she’s bummed. Poor baby.
Jacqueline tells Chris about how Robyn said she wanted her ass, so she sat one her. Chris says they’re out of control.
The rest of the group goes to a dog sledding place. Dolores totally loves on one of the dogs. Teresa keeps saying she’s scared, but don’t they have three dogs, one of which is a German Shepherd? Everyone gets in the sleds and the dogs are super excited. We see everything all shaky-cam on the ride. Melissa says it’s too bad Jacqueline didn’t come and that she tends to create her own issues. Dolores has gotten a text telling them there’s nothing wrong and some TMI about Jacqueline and Chris.
Time to ski. Robyn immediately falls on her ass and continues to do so. Joe is next. I refuse to laugh because I’ve never been skiing and can just imagine. Teresa tells Melissa she’s glad they’re in a good place. She asks for help in understanding Jacqueline, because it doesn’t seem to be going as well. Melissa says her relationship with Jacqueline has changed, since she seems to be paranoid about trusting Teresa.
Siggy and Dolores go back to the villa and Jacqueline says since Chris has to leave, she wants to go too. She says the weekend is about Teresa and Robyn is her friend, so she thinks it’s for the best. Siggy gets ridiculous about how they won’t have a good time without her. In her interview, Dolores is upset because this new person is causing a problem. Frankly, I think Jacqueline is acting like a big baby. She claims to be fearful of Robyn, since she said she wanted to kick Jacqueline’s ass, but Jacqueline started it and she’s the one with the tough girl tagline. She always seems to be spoiling for a fight, but I guess the real truth is, she’s all mouth. Then again, didn’t she punch Caroline Manzo? And her daughter, Ashlee, is the one who pulled out Danielle Staub’s weave way back when. Yeah, now I need help understanding Jacqueline too.
In her interview, Teresa says that Jacqueline is calculated (um…calculating?) and hits you where it hurts.
Big baby Jacqueline packs. Dolores tells her that Teresa is on probation can’t be around any arguments. Jacqueline says if she stays there will be an argument, and they both whine about the new person. Siggy says they have to protect Teresa. Dolores says Robyn is a threat and they should tell her. Honestly, these women think everyone has short term memory loss. Robyn did not start this argument.
Next time, Teresa doesn’t want to ask Robyn to leave, Joe #2 says this is like a soap opera, Jacqueline wags her finger in Teresa and Melissa’s faces while pulling out her phone, and Dolores goes nuts.
What I Watched - TV With Theresa 