What I Watched Today

(random, rambling thoughts on today’s TV)

General Hospital

Paul has plans to dismantle the Corinthos organization. Good luck. I’ve wanted it dismantled for at least 10 years, but no one listens to me. Plans have been set in motion, he says. Who talks like this? Paul tells Ava that there will be some “business associates” calling her and she says to find someone else. Ava wants to wait until she has full custody of Avery before she concentrates on mob business. Paul is extremely understanding and agreeable, which is surprising. He tells her that Carly and Sonny are getting married and it will be a tough fight. Since Paul is also the DA, can’t he pull some strings?

Everyone is getting Carly ready for the wedding. One of the kids says she has a lot of hair products and doesn’t travel light. I’ll bet. She’s got so much going on with her hair-do. Highlights, lowlights, a cut that needs maintenance, and probably extensions.

Lovey dovey stuff with Dante and Lulu. Valerie tells Nathan he has a big mouth and I agree. There is no hope of keeping anything a secret in this town.

Maxie tells Dillon he needs to confront his issues. No kidding. They’re down at the docks and see a body in the water. Carrrlos, perhaps? Jordan is pumping Anna for more Carrrlos info. They might have all they need in a minute. Jordan is actually believing that Carrrlos might have shot Sonny. This ought to be good.

Yep, it’s Carrrlos floating in the river. Except I thought his wallet was in the safe deposit box. Why is it now on his dead body? Did Paul somehow dredge the body up and plant it there? That seems crazy even for this show. It’s more believable that they forgot some continuity.

Sonny and Carly exchange vows that they apparently wrote themselves. Zzzzzz….  Wait. What? Her name is really Caroline? I’m sure someone is enjoying all this, but it’s not me. Her dress is beautiful though. Just before they’re pronounced man and wife, Dante’s phone rings. You mean to tell me he couldn’t put that thing on vibrate? Dante doesn’t know how to use his phone, but manages to shut it off. Reprieve.

Maxie and Dillon go to the station to give statements. Maxie says her brain is in a fog (when isn’t It?) and Valerie tells her to take a break. Maxie wonders why Valerie is being so nice because she was in a “scratchy” mood the day before. What kind of mood is that? Does she mean sketchy? Maxie brings up the pregnancy test to Valerie and she tells Maxie that it wasn’t hers and to mind her own business.

Paul goes down to the docks to pretend to investigate. Paul suggests Carrrlos was killed because Sonny wanted revenge, but aren’t they going to be able to tell how long he’s been dead, which is like 6 months?

After they finish the ceremony, Dante miraculously turns his phone back on and finds out about Carrrlos. This whole thing pisses me off because I liked Carrrlos and I wanted him to redeem himself and end up with Sabrrrina. Now that there’s a body, that will never happen. Well ,actually, who knows? Sabrrrina, who has an absolutely gorgeous dress on, is totally freaked out. Oooh, maybe that baby is Carrrlos’s, and there was more going on at her place when he was staying there than we know. Morgan gets paranoid (no surprise) and thinks Carly is looking at him funny. Sonny doesn’t believe his idiot son is even capable of carrying out that kind of thing, and thinks Ava must be involved.

Anna shows up at Ava’s gallery. Anna accuses Ava of covering up for whoever shot Sonny. Paul calls Anna and asks her to meet him at the docks. With the docks, it’s either feast or famine. Either nobody goes there for half a year, or everyone is congregating there.

Sonny makes a joke about honeymooning in Iowa because of the corn, and I’m wondering where the real Sonny is. Sonny and Carly make out in his hospital bed.

Sabrrina tells Michael that she’s known Carrrlos most of her life and she’s not buying that he shot Sonny.

Paul tells Anna that the body was Carrrlos. DUN-DUN-DUNNN!

Little Women LA

The ladies and their significant others are in Hawaii for Elena’s vow renewal. I honestly don’t get why the girls are so up-in-arms about Brianna having kept her marriage a secret for 5 minutes 4 months. It wasn’t like they were all supportive about the relationship. Perhaps if they hadn’t bombarded her with negativity on a constant basis, she might have done things differently.

The island is stunning and so is the hotel. It’s the first time Tonya has seen blue water and she’s really psyched. I’m so glad Terra’s husband, Joe, is on this trip because he cracks me up. When the girls are dancing around and Terra is shaking some booty, he says, “Let’s have some jelly with that roll!” My dad used to say that, along with, “It must be jelly, cuz jam don’t shake like that.”

These girls constantly come up with wild hairstyles, and Britney has some long cornrow/braids going on that have neon pink accents. I don’t think it’s something I could rock, but more power to her.

Christy wants to do a couple’s retreat thing (how long are they staying?) and wants to include Brianna and Matt, but they haven’t shown up yet. Joe suggests they all need couples therapy instead. Jasmine’s husband couldn’t make it, so she says that she and Britney will hang out when the couples do their thing. Jasmine also lets fly some information Matt told her about Todd, that he’d said he could “have Brianna any time he wanted.” (Has he looked in the mirror and then looked at Matt?)

Tonya has set up a surfing lesson for her, Terra and Britney, in the hopes that there’s just a miscommunication between the latter two and they can reconcile their differences. It doesn’t happen. Britney says she can’t focus because there’s a shark in the water – Terra – and Terra says her surf buzz is being harshed.

After the surfing lesson, Tonya, Terra and Britney are sitting on the beach. Tonya is desperate to chill, but she says, “all these heifers want to do is fight.” For whatever reason, Terra thinks Britney is going to cause a scene. Britney doesn’t get why and neither do I. She and Elana had a misunderstanding at the beginning of the season, but they got over it, so why can’t Terra? Especially since it had nothing to do with her.

Elena is panicking because there are still details to attend to and her dress isn’t fitting quite right. I don’t see it, but she’s the one wearing it. IMO, she could wear a potato sack and look fabulous. Brianna and Matt finally show up, and Elena tells them about the couple’s retreat Christy is setting up. Jasmine stops by Brianna and Matt’s room to give them a heads up about what they were discussing earlier. Matt didn’t think it was a big deal because Todd was drunk, but Brianna says Todd has made her uncomfortable a few times. We flash back, and yep, he did.

Now Britney has added a nose ring, but I’m not too crazy about the look. While the couples do their thing (I guess it’s a one day retreat), Britney tells Jasmine how Terra told her not to come to Hawaii. I love Terra, but that was not her call.

The place where the couples go for retreating is magnificent – lush greenery and flowers, a river running through it, and waterfalls. The couples are told to find a “sacred space” and put some kind of mud paint on each other. Already Christy is arguing with Todd about how he’s doing it. She feels he’s being thoughtless and aggressive. I think the argument is really about the comment to Matt. Todd says he’s no Picasso and she feels that he’s just not putting enough thought into it, or anything else where she’s concerned. Basically, she’s feeling unloved.

Christy can’t believe everyone else is having a good time and she and Todd are fighting. The “Big Kahuna” (the therapist) comes over. Christy says she knows when Todd is doing something with his heart in it or he’s just trying to get it over with, and that he says one thing, but does another. Todd says that a lot of things Christy wants to do, he physically can’t. Christy says that Todd is over 100 pounds overweight and isn’t addressing the issue. The Kahuna speaks softly to them and makes everything okay.

Ha-ha-ha! Joe’s hair! Terra did some kind of Mohawk thing with the mud/paint. The couples reconvene, and Christy walks away. Tonya follows her and Christy explains how disappointed she is in Todd’s physical limitations. Tonya is like, you knew he was overweight when you married him, and she’s right. Tonya thinks that some of this has to do with what Todd said to Matt. I said it first. After hemming and hawing for a while, Christy finally admits that it’s a factor. Told you.

Commercial break. I like pumpkin spice lattes too, but why does everything have to be pumpkin or pumpkin spice at this time of year? I saw a funny thing online that was a fake ad for pumpkin spice scented cat litter. I’ll bet a lot of people tried to buy it.

The others are hula-ing, and I have the feeling this joyous mood is going to be broken as soon as Christy comes back. She’s really pissed off that Brianna and Todd are pissing her off. Uh-oh, Christy says she has a question. Why didn’t Brianna tell anyone – meaning her – about getting married? Brianna answers honestly that she thought they didn’t care. Brianna is keeping her cool, but Christy goes apesh*t, calls them both a-holes, and says she’s done with the friendship. Geez, even if that’s the case, she could have conveyed it a little more diplomatically.

Ha-ha! Next week, Brianna will be telling everyone that Christy went apesh*t. Again, I said it first.

Million Dollar Listing: LA

JoshF’s car has been saran wrapped with JoshA’s logo everywhere. JoshA says that JoshF has had everything handed to him his entire life, including his clients, and he doesn’t like that JoshA is successful. Oh, I see. In JoshF’s individual interview, he says that JoshA isn’t from the area originally. That’s his beef with him.

JoshA’s brother encourages him to make time for a relationship. Last season, Josh and his girlfriend, Heather, had gotten engaged. By the end of the season, the wedding had been postponed, but they’re still living together.

These guys all drive amazing cars. It’s not so much the sportiness that I like, but the seats look unbelievably comfortable. JoshF is taking a couple of developers to look at “view property.” He says something about a billion dollars and my mind goes blank.

Frick and Frack David and James show us some awesome software that can be used to show overseas clients a walk through without having to be there. I love stuff like that. They’re still trying to unload that apartment with the ghastly view. They did have an almost offer, but the broker has to contact her buyer.

Tom Brady is the name of Heather and JoshA’s tiny Yorkie. This has nothing to do with the episode, but I love gratuitous shots of tiny dogs. And he’s in a tiny cone of shame. Josh and Heather are having a date night. He’s dreading it because he needs to discuss the relationship. She wants to have kids, and he had agreed the time was right, but now he’s afraid that he won’t be around enough because of his job. If he’s being honest, I can see his point. He doesn’t want to be the guy who just shows up every third ballgame for 15 minutes, while still working on his cell phone; he wants to be the team’s coach. She seems okay with this, so okay.

JoshF’s developers think the property is a million too expensive at $7.2 . At a subsequent lunch meeting, Josh encourages the developers to take the deal because in the long run, they’ll make a lot more than the extra million they’ll spend now. We have a deal! $518,750 is Josh’s commission. I missed my calling.

James and his wife, Valeria, are also having a night out, for their 5^th anniversary. They’ve been together a total of 8 years, so James has gotten a retrospective of their time together, with photos and videos. David is babysitting, so the kids probably won’t know the difference.

I really don’t know what “chef’s kitchen” means, but it looks wonderful. OMG, another gratuitous shot of Brady in a little suit jacket.

Valeria is wearing a dress with one of those patterns that, from a distance, makes the dress look like it’s streaked with blood. Note to self: check all patterns from a distance before buying. James has rented a movie theatre and he’s showing her their home movies. Here comes David (the producers must have made him grow a beard just so we could tell them apart) and the kids bearing gifts. Awww! David skedaddles, and the kids present their mom with a dazzling diamond ring from dad.

James gets an offer for the dreadful view. It’s under asking and they want the trees replaced to the tune of 100k. He gets David and JoshF on the phone. Josh calls the seller, who says the trees aren’t his problem and gives a counter offer. There’s always one tense going back and forth deal in every episode. The broker talks to James like he’s five, but the deal is made. This is the property from when they went door knocking, so not bad.

Next week, it looks like Brian Wilson is a client. It isn’t clear whether he’s a buyer or seller.

Other shows that I find worth watching, but don’t necessarily write about:

American Horror Story: Hotel (Oh my Lady Gaga!), Intervention, Scream Queens, Hoarders or the interchangeable Hoarding: Buried Alive (I love them! I love marathons of them!), Survivor (I haven’t watched it for a while, but I’m back with Second Chance), every court show on the air.