Monthly Archives: November 2015

November 15, 2015 — Once Upon the Dead in Atlanta

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What I Watched Today

(random, rambling thoughts on today’s TV)

Once Upon A Time

I’m really thrilled that they decided to make this 2 hours tonight, since it totally screws up my TV watching schedule.

David asks Arthur why he tried to burn the crimson crown mushroom. He wants to know who Nimue is and when he asks, Arthur table flips like he was on Real Housewives and runs.  Hook goes after him and ends up getting tripped up, but before Arthur can run a sword through him, Dark Emma stops him with Excalibur. Hook tells her that she’s not entirely dark, and the part that saved him was the real Emma. He asks why she needs Excalibur. She says she’s doing it for him and disappears poof! in a cloud of dark smoke.

Outside Camelot (3 weeks earlier), Emma and Henry meet at the diner, and wonder where Merlin is. Everyone but Emma is freeze framed and Merlin appears. Arthur has Regina, Snow, Hook and David tied to trees. Arthur wants Excalibur and the flame to forge it back together, in exchange for her family’s lives. Merlin tells her not to seek vengeance or they’ll never be able to put everything back together.

Hook wants to know why Arthur destroyed Merlin’s message (i.e. the mushroom). David tells him to lay off, but Hook says they need it to save Emma from her dark self. Regina says there might not be a real Emma anymore. Hook wants to find out how all this happened in the first place.

Rumpel is busy staring at a snow globe. Belle and Hook come to the shop. Hook wants to know what’s going on in Emma’s head, since she says she’s doing it for him, but he’s not buying it. Rumpel says he told himself the same thing about doing things for his son, but he was kidding himself and that road goes nowhere.

Emma is staring at the spark. Rumpel says he wouldn’t try to ignite it, as it will cause more harm than good. Rumpel disappears and Henry shows up. Emma says she needs to use the darkness one last time and then she’ll use Excalibur to rid herself of it.

She goes to where her family is being held hostage, and she says she’ll give Arthur the dagger and the spark if he lets her family go. Arthur says he’ll unleash Merlin. Merlin says he doesn’t want to fight her, but Zelena says she will.

Parallel Zelena, still in the hospital, goes into labor. She says dark magic caused it.

Hook looks for Dark Emma, and decides to jump off a roof so she’ll save him. She does and he says he wants to know what happened in Camelot. She says it’s complicated and he tells her that every ring he wears has a sad story of someone he killed. She produces a ring he thought he lost and he says that’s the saddest story of all. He tells her he loves her and she asks if he really wants to know what happened. He does and she says she has something to show him. They go to the house they were going to move in to.

Dark Emma says the truth is tricky and you have to look for it. Hook looks through a telescope at the ocean. She says she knows it calms him and everything she’s done is to keep their future alive. She says if he knew what she was doing, he would stop her. She hugs him and he goes unconscious.

Parallel Zelena is about to deliver.

Zelena asks who she should destroy first, and Emma says she can have thespark. Crazy snakes jump out and hold Zelena back. Merlin tells Emma this is a battle she can’t win and they throw lightning bolts at each other. Arthur tells Merlin to kill Snow. A tree branch starts to strangle her, but Merlin fights the darkness, despite Arthur’s protests.

In the meantime, Hook has broken free, and Arthur runs like the big baby he is, telling Zelena to get them out of there. They both disappear poof! in a puff of green smoke.

Now Emma has the sword, the dagger and the spark. They all reconvene at the diner. Emma takes the spark outside to meditate on it. Regina asks her if she needs a light. Ha-ha! Emma says that Rumpel told her she’s not ready to get rid of the darkness. Regina says if she’s clinging to the darkness, there must be a good reason. She takes the dagger and commands her to say why she wants to hang on to the darkness. Emma says to protect her family, but Regina says there’s more to it than that. Hook comes out and takes the dagger away before she can get to the truth.

Zelena has a baby girl. Everyone moons over the new baby and Dark Emma shows up. They’re afraid she wants to take the baby, but she says that’s not the baby she’s after.

Hook wakes up in chains. He sees Zelena with him and she says Dark Emma sped up her pregnancy and separated her from her baby. Dark Emma appears and tells Hook that he would have stopped her. The darkness needs a vessel and she wants Zelena’s baby for that. He keeps asking her what really happened that she’s not saying.

Hook finds Emma staring at the spark. She says she knows why she doesn’t want to let go of the darkness. She says she can only admit her true feelings if she thinks she’s going to lose someone. She says the minute the darkness is gone, their future begins and she’s afraid of that. They kiss and the spark ignites. That’s not a euphemism. The spark really ignites.

Regina says she’s going to hunt down Dark Emma and show her what dark magic is really like. Sounds like a plan. Regina says the reason she has the dagger is that she’s the only one who can do what needs to be done.

Hook says his hook has magic left over and he releases Zelena. Poof! she changes her outfit into something more stylish. That’s definitely what I’d do first.

Dark Emma says she doesn’t need saving and that Regina will be better off without Zelena. Regina is like, knock it off, and Dark Emma freeze frames everyone.

Zelena and Hook go to the house. Zelena tells him good luck with the Emma thing and leaves. Hook rifles through some drawers and then takes a painting off the wall. Dark Emma enters and he zaps her into dropping the sword and freezes her feet. Zelena comes back and stabs Hook. WTF? She’s brought the dreamcatcher and wants to return the memories Dark Emma stole.

Back at the diner, Merlin says it’s time to destroy the darkness once and for all. Emma brings out the flame and they put Excalibur back together. Almost. Hook falls down bleeding. Emma says he’d had a small cut from Excalibur but it was just a scratch. Apparently not. Merlin says there’s nothing they can do, but Emma doesn’t believe it, and spirits Hook away to a field of flowers. He says she has to let him go. He says he doesn’t think he can fight the darkness another time. He expires and I’m annoyed because I really liked him.

All kinds of weird black thingies come out of Merlin and then out of the still broken Excalibur. They also come out of the sewer cap to the underworld and form a hooded figure. It’s Hook.

Emma says that the only way to destroy the darkness was to kill Zelena. Hook is pissed off and Zelena asks if he’s ready to be all dark. He says first they need to take care of Dark Emma, who I’m not sure is dark or not at this point.

Arthur pops back into Camelot and Zelena is waiting in a cool, sparkly witch’s outfit. He says there’s something that can help them in another land, DunBroch, which just happens to be where Merida is.

Merida is at her father’s grave and says she’s finally proved to the clans that she’s fit to be their queen, but the hard part comes in ruling over them. Her mother approaches and says she misses him too, but it’s time for the coronation.

Earlier in DunBroch, King Fergus is in a witch’s cabin. He says he needs some magic to lead the clans in victory over the invaders. As Rumpel has told us repeatedly, magic always comes with a price. The witch says she doesn’t need anything right now but she’ll take an IOU. And we know how that always turns out.

She does that whole eye of newt thing, her cauldron bubbles, and a helmet emerges. She says if he wears the helmet into battle, he’ll get exactly what he wants. That’s a little vague, which usually causes a problem later too.

At Merida’s coronation, before the crown can be put on her head, the witch shows up with the IOU. What did I just say? She says that the king died before he could pay her and she wants either lots of gold or the helmet back. Merida says she doesn’t have either and the witch says if she doesn’t find it by tomorrow, she’s turning everyone into bears. What’s up with that bear thing?

Merida says whoever killed her father has the helmet.

Earlier in DunBroch. Merida is on the battlefield with her father. King Fergus gives her his first bow to carry into battle. He’s also hired a soldier to teach her the art of war. She says she doesn’t need one and then proceeds to get trounced. The soldier removes “his” helmet & it’s Mulan. She says the one thing you need is honor.

Fast forwarding. Merida hunts down Mulan who has just knocked off a couple of good-for-nothings. Merida says she needs her help and gives her all the gold she has, as Mulan is all mercenary now.

Cool! Arthur and Zelena are at the witch’s cabin and a wolf comes after them. Zelena zaps the wolf. The witch says that was her pet and she doesn’t have the helmet. Zelena says no one out witches her and asks where the helmet is. The witch says Merida has it.

Merida and Mulan find an arrow that Merida recognizes and says the cloth on it will lead them to whoever killed her father. Mulan wants to get moving and Merida asks what happened to her to make her so cold. She says that a warrior never lets anything hurt them, which tells us she’s been hurt.

In old DunBroch, Mulan gives Merida lessons in fighting. One of the guys makes fun of her and Merida says she can kick his ass, but Mulan tells her fear is no way to rule.

Zelena and Arthur show up in the forest and Zelena says they need the helmet. He tells her the helmet forces people to listen to you and fight despite of fear. Zelena takes Merida’s bow from her (the one her father gave her) and says she can use a locator spell to find the helmet.

Merida says that her father used dark magic to lead and she doesn’t want to do that. She rides off, leaving Mulan to ponder her own changed self.

In past DunBroch, Merida asks King Fergus how he inspires men to lead him into battle. He tells her the only way is to show them that you’re willing to die first. Of course he neglects to tell her about the helmet.

Mulan takes the cloth from the arrow to the witch’s cabin. The wolf backs her out the door. Mulan says she’s not really a wolf and needs help remember who she is. A cauldron gets knocked over and the wolf turns into a woman. She introduces herself as Ruby, but her friends call her Red. Red explains that she knows of Mulan from her friends in other realms. Mulan asks how she ended up at the witch’s cabin.

In past Storybrooke, Snow has just given birth to Prince Neil and gives a big announcement at the diner. Red is outside the door and Snow asks what’s wrong. Red wants to go back to the enchanted forest. Snow says she’s gotta do what she’s gotta do.

Mulan asks if she found what she was looking for, but Red says she couldn’t find her people. She went to the witch for help and got turned into a wolf. Mulan says she was hoping the witch would help her hunt down who killed King Fergus. Red says she doesn’t need magic for that.

Mulan goes back to Merida and says Red can sniff out the culprit.

Back in old DunBroch, as Mulan is giving Merida lessons, Merida hears the invaders in the distance. She realizes the lessons were just a ruse to get her away from the fighting. King Fergus has his lucky helmet on and jazzes the soldiers up to fight. There’s a big battle with lots of sword fighting. Merida watches from a distance. A knight comes up behind her father and Merida draws her bow. She misses the knight and her father gets killed. The knight steals the helmet. Mulan keeps Merida from going down to the field. The knight turns out to be Arthur.

Zelena finds the helmet in a lake, but before Arthur can take it, Merida and Mulan show up. Merida wants to kill Arthur, but Mulan says it’s not about revenge; it’s about saving her people. Merida asks why Arthur didn’t have the helmet, and Arthur says the helmet he took wasn’t the magic one. Merida realizes that King Fergus threw the helmet into the lake before the battle and had led his people without magic.

Merida fights with Arthur. Mulan tells Zelena to stay out of it. Since she won’t, Red doses her with some sleeping powder. Arthur tells Merida if she reaches for the helmet, he’ll kill her like he did her father. The clan guys show up, and Zelena and Arthur (who seems to be best at running from his problems) disappear, poof! in a puff of green smoke. Merida asks if the clan dudes still want her to be queen. The head clan dude says they’ve seen her bravery and if she’s not fit to be the leader, no one is.

Merida is crowned queen and the witch shows up. The witch says if she doesn’t hand over the helmet, she’ll be leading a bunch of bears. She says she’ll destroy the helmet before handing it over. The witch says it was just a test. Her father had asked for magic to lead the clans, and she gave it to him. I think this is one of those “it was really inside you all the time” lessons.The witch gives her some magic to summon a dead spirit so she can again speak to her father.

Merida thanks Red and Mulan. Mulan gives her back the gold, and says she was just trying to get over a broken heart. She wanted to tell someone how she felt about them, and when she did, it was too late. Red says she ate the only boyfriend she ever had, but she still might be able to help. Merida says good-by to them.

Merida summons the spirit of her father. She apologizes for losing faith in him and he says he lost faith in himself and that’s why he sought magic. He says she was the one who changed his mind when she asked what it took to lead men into battle. They hug and I get teary eyed because it’s a sweet father/daughter moment and I miss my dad.

King Fergus disappears, and Merida says, “Arthur, you have no idea what’s coming to you.”

The next episode is 2 weeks from now. Good, because this episode was a rough one.

The Real Housewives of Atlanta

Cynthia questions why Peter couldn’t be bothered to support her when she made her entrance to her sunglasses event. True to form, he walks away since he was called on his BS.

Tootie is here! Kenya comes to her studio. She also directs now and Kenya gives her props on her career moves. She tells Kim about her Life Twirls On pilot and asks her to take a look at it and maybe come on as a director. Kim is a little hesitant. Kenya asks why she never sees Kim out and about. She says she’s more focused on family. Kenya gives Kim the DVD of her pilot.

Cynthia confers via SKYPE with her business partner, Tiffany. They decide to do a launch party in Miami. Peter left for Charlotte (where his side honey is) before Cynthia got home. She tells Tiffany about the issues she’s having with Peter. She says it’s exhausting pretending everything is okay in public. She says she consumes herself with work and when she thinks about the personal stuff, it’s overwhelming. Tiffany tells her she has to deal with it.

Porsha (who spells her name wrong, so I’ve been spelling it wrong) thinks she’s going to build a brand that rivals several Jessicas (Simpson, Biel, Alba, all of them). She wants to throw a “sip and see” for her new boyfriend. What?  Is she dating an infant?

Phaedra goes to a tea shop and meets Cynthia there. While they’d had an altercation last season, Phaedra says she’s going to let bygones be bygones because that’s what I good Christian woman does. I’m eating dinner late and I choke on my spaghetti. Phaedra asks what’s up with Peter and Cynthia gets cagey. Phaedra says everyone attacked her when she was down about Apollo. Not down with, about. Cynthia says she’s sorry for her part in anything. In her individual interview, Phaedra says she’s committed to supporting Cynthia, but she’s not going to forget the things she said.

Sheree is showing Kandi her clothing operation. Sheree asks what’s up with Kenya. Kandi says Kenya took some getting used to, but she’s okay with Kenya now. They move on to talking about Cynthia and Peter and the sunglasses event.

Kim says she loves being a wife and mother, and queen of her castle. She says red carpet stuff was never a big deal to her and she didn’t even show up if she wasn’t in the film. She’s also launching a maternity line. She’s setting up an intro to her website. After a few thousand takes, she hears the kids upstairs and has to take a break, and then gets it down.

Todd and Kandi get together with Kandi’s employees and a plate of bacon to discuss future plans. Kandi talks about opening a restaurant. The closing of the building is close to her due date, so she says she’ll have to depend on Todd to deal with a lot of it. Then they discuss the baby shower, because rich people who can afford baby stuff always have one for every kid. Todd wants to know if Phaedra is coming because she owes him money for working on the video that never happened.

Thank God Porsha abandons the idea of a sip and see, and is having a going away party for her football playing boyfriend, doubling as an introduction party. Her sister Lauren is pregnant, and when she says she’s 13 weeks, Porsha needs to be told how many months that is because she never passed third grade.

Apparently Porsha hasn’t known this guy too long and is already married to him in her head. Everyone gathers for the party. Kandi says she and Phaedra need to deal with their issues, but in the meantime, they’re being cordial. Entrée Duke, the new boyfriend. Everything is football themed, including Porsha. If Duke Williams and 27 mean something to you, then you know who this guy is. Cynthia says Porsha should follow her heart, but take your brain with her. I guess she assumes Porsha has a brain, but so far there hasn’t been much evidence.

Oooh, there has been tabloid fodder about Duke hooking up with a transvestite prostitute. These two seem to be planning to move in together, which sounds like a terrible idea. Porsha takes a mic and starts blabbing about how great they are together and that she’s making him her trophy man and hands him an award. (“Dude looks scared,” Kandi says when Porsha starts talking. Ha-ha!)

Phaedra gets together with Kandi at her office lounge.  Kandi says they have to talk to get their friendship back to the way it was. She says that Phaedra acted all nice to her face, but it was a different story behind her back. We flash to Phaedra talking about Kandi to Nene. Phaedra says she heard from a third party that Todd and Kandi were hanging on to Apollo’s motorcycle, and the government was coming after her to seize his assets. This sounds like an excuse. Phaedra also didn’t like that Kandi said Apollo should see his kids. She says he’s in Kentucky, and it’s an expensive hassle. Kandi brings up Phaedra still owing Todd 8 grand for the video. What this sounds like is the both of them have been talking to other people when they should have been talking to one another, the balance weighing more heavily on Phaedra. Phaedra says she couldn’t help the way she felt, and Kandi says just talk to her next time. Phaedra promises to talk to Todd as well. Hugs happen.

Kandi’s assistant asks if World War IV is over. He’s not buying Phaedra’s sincerity. Me neither really.

The Walking Dead

I came in late. Daryl has been captured by a band of not so merry men. Actually a guy and two girls. They go to a fenced in area where zombies are wandering around what look like gas tanks. Daryl gets away, taking a duffel bag, and runs into the woods. He gets free of his bonds, radios Abe and Sasha, and narrowly misses getting eaten by a zombie while trying to get his crossbow out of the duffle bag.

Either the car broke down or they’re taking a break. Sasha and Abe enter a building. Abe sees a garment bag with a dress uniform in it.  Sasha is sitting in the reception area of an office, where a zombie is scratching at the locked glass doors. Why they don’t put this poor thing out of its misery, I don’t know. The last place I’d want to be a zombie is in an office. I already put in my time being a zombie there. Abe wants to name him. Sasha gives Abe a speech about being accountable for choices. It sounds like she’s telling him he hasn’t made some good ones.

Daryl doubles back with his crossbow and takes the gun from the guy who was holding him hostage. He also takes a carving the guy had in his pocket. I have no idea why. He throws the duffel bag at them, which I guess has supplies. Daryl hides behind a tree and a huge truck comes in. They demand whatever supplies the people have. They say they earned them and the truck guy says rules are rules. One of the women says the rules are crap. After the truck guys take the duffel bag, Daryl gathers up the people and they hide.

One of the truck guys comes looking for them and gets a bite to the arm from a zombie for his trouble. He kills the zombie and truck guy #2 comes along and chops off his arm. Very efficient. The truck guys leave and the guy who kidnapped Daryl asks why Daryl came back after what they did to him.

While Abe is wandering around, he sees a zombie stuck on a pole off of a bridge, flailing around. Abe opens a nearby car trunk to find weapons and cigars. Wonder what the Bureau of Tobacco and Firearms would think about that. For whatever idiotic reason, he taunts the zombie up close. It’s a military guy and I think Abe has issues with this. He lights up a cigar and watches as the zombie’s movements finally cause him to fall, leaving the RPG strapped to him behind.

Abe returns to Sasha. He says they have everything they need there. He says he likes the way she calls him on his BS and wants to get to know her better. She says he has some stuff to take care of and he agrees. Yeah, maybe they want to take care of that zombie that’s staring at them from behind the glass.

Daryl and company come across a burned down house. For whatever reason (there are a lot of unanswered questions in this one), one of the girls says it’s their fault this happened. She enters what’s left of the house and is about to put flowers the two dead bodies. Already you know what’s going to happen here. She gets bitten and the next thing you know, a grave is being dug. Daryl asks the guy Rick’s usual  questions – how many walkers have you killed and how many people have you killed? The guy says none because then there’s no going back. Daryl then invites them back to Alexandria. He wants to find his bike and then get Sasha and Abe to bring them back. Oh, man. Dude pulls a gun on him again and asks for the crossbow. No good deed goes unpunished. The couple steal his bike and throw him a knife. The woman says “Sorry,” and Daryl says, “Gonna be.” Well, if anyone can make it in the zombie infested wilderness, it’s Daryl.

Daryl almost immediately finds a fuel truck. What did I say? He picks up Sasha and Abe, who is now wearing a dress military blazer. Daryl tries to radio Rick. We hear the word “help” come through.

November, Friday the 13th, 2015 — GH & a Z Storm

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What I Watched Today

(random, rambling thoughts on today’s TV)

General Hospital

Paul wants to know why Anna is still sticking her nose into the Carrrlos case, when they both know what really happened. She says she thinks Ava is involved with something somewhere, and still wants to hunt down Sonny’s shooter.

Since everyone waited too long to let her know, Spencer finally tells Emma that “Jake” is Jason, and that he is still Sam’s husband.

Nicholas tells Laura what happened at the wedding. She says she’s sorry about what happened, but not sorry the truth came out. She asks if Elizabeth confessed to her part, and Elizabeth walks in saying, no and neither did Nicholas. Laura is like, for shame, and says they must have been acting their hearts out. Hayden walks in and asks where her Academy Award is.

Jason wants to leave, but Sam tells him she still feels their connection and wants to know if he does too.

Hi, Robin! Patrick calls Robin to fill her in on what happened. He tells her Jason is alive. She’s at the lab and she tells Patrick there’s a lot he doesn’t know. Oh please, what now?

Anna says Sonny’s shooter is still out there, and they should be concerned with that. Paul says he considers it saving resources. Anna asks if they’re only giving justice to people they think should have it and that if Sonny is a target, anyone around him might get hurt. Paul gets blunt and tells her to drop the case.

Emma says her dad said they would talk about things later. Spencer tells her that adults think kids don’t understand things, but his father couldn’t run his life without him. He might be right about that.

Hayden admits to having remembered everything, and says she just wanted to watch Elizabeth squirm. Ha-ha! Good job! Elizabeth is about to clock her one, but Laura holds her back. Elizabeth asks her what she wants, and Hayden says she and Nicholas have worked it out and she’s happy with how things are. She says everything is going to work itself out now that Jason knows who he is. She says that he turned to Sam for help, and inside he still loves her. Elizabeth tells her to shut up.

Jason says he’s sorry, but he just can’t remember. Sam tells him he’d said he’d never stop loving her. Jason says he didn’t feel anything when they were at the Lucky Buddha and if it was going to happen, it should have happened then.

Robin is about to tell Patrick something important, when a dude comes up behind her and takes the phone. Patrick thinks they just got cut off, but dude tells Robin no way is she going to tell him anything. Patrick tries calling her back, but dude won’t give her the phone back. She says her family will get suspicious and tells him if he’s not going to answer, to press some message button. While his back is turned, she hits him over the head with a flask.

Emma is pretty upset because she wants Sam and Danny to stay with them. Spencer says that since Jason doesn’t remember, everything might still work out.

Elizabeth goes blah-blah-blah Jason loves me, in that whiney voice of hers. Hayden says Jason seems to have a way with the ladies, but she thinks whoever gets Carly’s vote will probably be the winner. Elizabeth says it’s not a competition, but Hayden says she thinks it is and I agree. Actually, I think they should have a talent/swimsuit challenge or maybe bring in Jeff Probst to set something up.

Jason says he doesn’t think the memories are going to come back.  Sam reminds him of how Helena sent him to kill her and he couldn’t do it. Then I get a memory of, yeah, that’s right, he did remember something when that happened.

Anna leaves and Tracy enters. Tracy tells Paul that she thinks Anna hasn’t recovered from Duke’s death yet, and wonders why Paul hired her. She tells him Anna is more trouble than she’s worth.

Patrick asks Anna (Paul’s office must be in the hospital because she’s there already) if she has another number for Robin, but she doesn’t. Anna says Robin seems happy, but doesn’t call all that often. Patrick says when she calls, she seems to want to get off the phone quickly. Robin manages to call Patrick back and says she doesn’t have much time, but he needs to know the truth about Jason. I can’t imagine what wrench she’s going to throw in. That’s Robin in a nutshell now. She shows up once in a while and stirs things up.

Lots of cute banter between my favorite TV kids, Spencer and Emma. Spencer says that he knows Hayden and Nicholas are in love, but there’s something between them he’s not grasping.

Laura says that one day Jason will find out the truth about her part in everything, and he’ll hate her if she doesn’t tell him now. Good.

Jason says he gets broken segments of images. Sam shows him the wedding ring and admits they had problems, but they’d found their way back to one another. She said when he left, he was on a mission to help someone else, and she was devastated when he disappeared. Is she going to kiss him? Whoa! He remembers kissing her, and they mutually kiss. YES! I hate Elizabeth with a passion, and desperately want this to work out. Sorry, Patrick.

Tracy asks Paul if he wants to have lunch, but Paul says he can’t right this minute. Paul says he’s smart enough to know she doesn’t just want lunch. Tracy says that she wants to escape Monica’s exuberance over Jason’s return. She thinks eventually Jason is going to hook back up with Sonny and cause problems. Paul says, bring it on, because he’s a fan of cheerleading movies.

Robin almost gets out what she wants to say, but Dude #2 comes busting in with a picture of her and Emma. Using Emma’s picture as a threat seems to be a trend. She makes up some BS to tell Patrick and says she has to go.

Spencer says grownups are complicated, but mean well. Emma says her mother came back and didn’t stay. She says Sam made everything better, but now she’s going to leave too. Spencer brings up trying to give a ring from his father’s safe to Emma, and wonders why Nicholas got so mad since it was actually Sam’s ring. Is this kid going to end up outing his father?

Jason says he can remember a few moments, but everything around it is a blank. He says what they’re doing is wrong because they love other people now. Oh, come on! He says he’s no good to himself or anyone else until he finds out what happened to him. She asks him to let her help.

Hayden says if she was going to say anything, she’d have done it by now. She leaves them to “talk amongst themselves.”

Jason says he has to do it on his own. Sam asks where he’s going to start, and he says with Nicholas. He tells Sam he wants the best for her and wants her to be happy.

Patrick gripes that Robin blew him off. Anna says she wonders why Robin distances herself and thinks it has something to do with PTSD. Are these two brainless? Wouldn’t their first thought be that it has something to do with her working for the Cassadines? Helena isn’t even pretend dead.

Dude #2 says he’s going to punish Robin for her insubordination and shows her a laptop where a hidden camera is on Spencer and Emma. Spencer gets a phone call (that even sounds stupid, a child getting a phone call while in the park) and tells Emma that her grandmother will pick her up soon, but he has an appointment or something. He’s probably the CEO of LEGO. Dude #2 points out that Emma is all alone. Like, really? Can’t these people come up with a new threat?

Commercial break. If aliens looked in on us, they’d think none of us can go to the bathroom properly.

Anna is at Paul’s office again. She says she’ll back off trying to find Sonny’s shooter. She says he’s made his expectations clear and they both know where they stand with each other. Whatever that means.

Hayden sees Tracy on a bench, and pretends Tracy lost something. Apparently, this is a clandestine meeting. Tracy says something about them being in business together.

Nicholas tells Laura and Elizabeth that Hayden won’t say anything because she’s having too much fun. Laura says considering what Nicholas has become, maybe they’re a good match, and she leaves. Nicholas reassures Elizabeth that Jason won’t find out anything. Oops! Jason just showed up.

Sam is mooning over her moment with Jason, when Patrick comes home. He catches her looking at the wedding band and she says Jason came to see her.

Robin tells Dude #2 she gets it, but he says she has to have consequences. On the laptop screen, some lady tells Emma she lost her dog and asks Emma to help her look. Isn’t this like one of the oldest tricks in the book to steal a kid? Has no one ever cautioned this child?

And we’re out.

Z Nation

Roberta and Vasquez are giving mercy to a whole load of zombies. And then get romantic. This must be a dream. Yep, Roberta’s dream. I knew it when Vasquez turned into a zombie In the middle of a clinch.

OBM is headed toward the Grand Canyon. There’s a cloud in the distance that looks like a dust storm. Doc says he hopes it’s not what he thinks it is. Addy continues to try getting Citizen Z on the radio. Citizen Z has his own set of problems, as zombies have invaded the North Pole complex.

Addy finally gets through. Citizen Z asks how “the package” is and Murphy interjects that he hates being called that. It’s either Murphy or The Murphy, thanks to him. Citizen Z says his place is kind of a mess due to zombie issues. They ask him how going west looks and he tells them that it’s no good; they’re headed right for a z-storm, miles wide and long.

The truck breaks down, and Addy, Murphy, Vasquez and Roberta leave on two ATVs. They’re soon stopped by a guy who says it’s tribal land and they have to leave. Roberta addresses him in Native American and explains the situation.

Doc and 10K are scaling a mountain, as there wasn’t enough room for all of them on the ATVs. They see some movement in the trees at the top, but it’s not zombies. Suddenly, Doc is hit in the head by some makeshift nunchucks and as 10K is checking him, he gets hit with some kind of stick. A guy in a hoodie stands over them on a horse.

Murphy and company are invited into a casino by Danny Firecloud (“what kind of an Indian name is Danny?” asks Murphy). Danny and Murphy banter a little. Doc and 10K don’t have the same luck and have been captured by a group whose leader says they have “white man’s disease.” And not in a good way.

The leader, Red Hawk, tells them they’re trespassing on sacred ground. 10K tries to tell him about the zombie horde coming their way. Red Hawk claims that the zombies aren’t interested in his people, only the white man, all the time beating the crap out of them. Finally, a girl steps in who is obviously his sister, she tells him to knock off the tribal schtick, and takes them to the infirmary. The sister, Ayalla, tells 10K that her brother thinks they can just wait things out. Ooh, their dad is Danny.

One of the casino guys sets up a radio for Addy. He says they were big Citizen Z fans there. They hear morse code coming through, saying “CZ”, which I guess is all Citizen Z has to work with. The guy translates and gives Addy the coordinates.

The medicine woman tells Doc she’s a pain management specialist and takes Doc to smoke some peyote. Doc and the medicine woman (she says she’s a real medicine woman the same way he’s a real doctor) look at some hieroglyphics that Doc says are speaking to him. They talk about cosmic things.

Holy! What if Citizen Z runs out of bullets? Pup is fine, but I’m scared for both of them. Citizen Z makes a safe place for Pup and leaves to fight what’s left of the zombies.

Danny doesn’t want to leave, and Murphy says trying to reinforce the place is like plugging a hole in the Titanic with toilet paper.

As soon as 10K and Doc are patched up, Red Hawk says he’s letting them go. When start to leave, they end up in net traps, suspended above the road. He’s leaving them to be eaten by the zombies and says if they’re right it won’t matter anyway since they’re all dead. Doc is still super high and doesn’t mind, but 10K wants to get out before he passes out.

Oh Lord, here comes a zombie. With a cleaver in his back. Maybe 10K can grab it and kill this thing. Sorry. Give mercy to it. Doc hallucinates killing it while wearing war paint. Somehow, Doc really did kill the zombie. He tells 10K it was astral projection, but the peyote is wearing off.

Just as a female zombie is about to grab Doc, she gets an arrow through the head. It’s Ayalla on horseback. Doc asks if she’s a guardian angel and she says she just hates seeing innocent people mistreated. She needs a favor though. She says her father is just as stubborn as her brother, but maybe he’ll listen to them.

Citizen Z is having a hard time with the last (I hope) zombie. He calls Addy & needs instruction on some sophisticated weapon. Roberta talks him through it. The battery is cold though and it won’t fire. She says to put it someplace warm, and he shoves it in his pants, but the zombie is here. Citizen Z has to jet and almost loses the gun. I’m going to have a heart attack. OMG, he dropped it and he’s down. He’s up again. He’s fishing for the battery in his pants. He loads the gun. Please work.

It does. Blowing a hole right through the zombie and incinerating him. OBM applauds on their end.

Danny says he can feel the horde coming, but he still doesn’t want to leave. Citizen Z has his cameras up and tells them it’s there and to take cover.

OBM gets on the ATVs. Danny is still refusing to leave. He says his place is there and that his wife’s spirit is there. He sends his daughter in his place, leading the ones who want to go. I think Danny is making a bad decision here.

The caravan leaves.

Citizen Z is watching the screen and doesn’t think OBM is going to make it out.

Danny is goofing around with a pinball machine called Zombie Outbreak and hits the jackpot, the irony not lost on him. He hears them coming and grabs his gun. (haha! I mistyped it “guy”) OBM sees the casino collapse from a distance. I guess that’s how strong this horde is – they can knock a building down just coming through.

Ayalla tells her brother the casino is gone and their father wouldn’t leave. He was stubborn just like him. She says he can’t be stubborn anymore and he agrees. He tells OBM they are welcome there, and they should be safe because the one narrow passage is blocked and zombies can’t climb.

But they can crawl and here comes one and they have to get out of there. Too late. Roberta says they have to divert them. Doc looks at the hieroglyphics and asks if they think zombies are as dumb as buffalo. I don’t know what this means, but it sounds like a plan.

They beat some tribal drums and build a wall of fire. There is some really cool background music that’s going with the drums. I’m sure without it, this scene wouldn’t be nearly as good. The zombies are coming by the thousands. For whatever stupid reason, Murphy suddenly wants to save them because they can feel. Forget it Murphy. They’ll eat your friends.

The wall of fire makes the zombies turn. Oh man, this is awesome! Zombies falling everywhere off the cliff into the canyon. Geez (although that’s not really what I want to say). There is always one scene in every episode that makes my mouth hang open and this is it. OBM watches from higher ground, but Murphy is bummed.

Back at the ranch camp, the brother puts more hieroglyphics up so that everyone will know about OBM and their bravery in generations to come. Medicine Woman gives Doc a pendant and also some peyote for the road. Both sides of the tribe are now united, and it’s time for OBM to get moving.

Murphy is still bummed, and tells Roberta they didn’t have to kill the zombies. Roberta says it’s down to us or them. She tells Murphy that one day he’s going to have to decide what he is, human or zombie, and to remember which one tried to save him and which one tried to eat his brains.

Murphy ponders this as they travel down the highway.

Next week, Anthony Michael Hall guest stars, and it looks like they’ll be in a corporate environment. One of the things I like about this show is that they never stay in one place, so you see how various people and cultures are handling the apocalypse. It’s kind of like The Warriors.

November 12, 2015 — GH, the OC & Brooks

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What I Watched Today

(random, rambling thoughts on today’s TV)

General Hospital

Elizabeth comes downstairs to find Jason (I almost called him “Jake”) on the laptop. He tells her about visiting Sonny and says he was looking up bad stuff about himself online.

Sam is once again mooning over her old wedding ring. Patrick comes in and she drops it like it’s hot. She tells Patrick about giving Jason the motorcycle. Patrick says they need to tell Emma asap. Sam says that oddly enough, Emma had asked what would happen if Danny’s father came back, and she had said that was impossible. (Impossible earworm now.) Patrick notices she’s still wearing her engagement ring, so he’s hopeful that everything will work out. Good thing he didn’t catch her a few moments earlier.

Paul is all dapper and bouncy, telling Anna he’s glad she took the special investigator job. She says he didn’t give her much choice.

Jordon tells Dante she heard what happened at The Haunted Star.

Lulu and Dillon are getting jiggy with it.

Alexis shows up at Sam’s and asks how she’s holding up. Alexis says she can’t even imagine the emotional roller coaster Sam must be on, and Sam thanks her. I’m not sure why. Alexis tells her that the first thing they have to do is rescind the claim that Jason is dead, and then asks Sam if she wants to divorce Jason, since obviously she has to do that if she wants to marry Patrick.

Jason tells little Jake who he is. Jake is like, I knew it, because he did. I noticed he didn’t say anything to his mother about how she’d said it first. Monica is at the door. I’d forgotten that Jason is her son.

Paul tells Jordan about hiring Anna. She says that’s cool, but the timing is weird, since there’s not much in the way of organized crime going on right now. Unless there’s something Paul isn’t telling her. Yeah, like everything.

Dillon and Lulu are still getting it on, and I thought one of their phones was ringing, but it was really the background music being too loud. She stops things before they get totally nakey. She says she’s doing the same thing Dante did, and Dillon asks if she’s going to forgive Dante. Please don’t let it be this easy.

Dante tells Valerie (why is he even talking to her?) that he’s not sure how much space to give Lulu. If she sees them talking, he’s going to have to give her a whole lot of space. Like forever space. Valerie says to give Lulu a little time and she’ll come around. And blah-blah-blah about what a great guy he is.

Lulu tells Dillon they aren’t such great friends anymore, and he gets kind of offended. He insults Dante and deservedly so, but she says she still loves Dante, even though she wishes she didn’t.

Sam tells Alexis that she and Jason might be married, but he doesn’t remember and started a new life. When Alexis asks what she wants, Sam says to go back in time before Jason disappeared. Nobody asked me, but I’d like to go back to the 80s.

Monica says grandma stuff to Jake and Elizabeth takes him to school. Jason says he hopes Monica doesn’t expect him to call her mom. He says he doesn’t want one more person telling him what he was like or what he should feel. She says she has no intention of doing that, but if he wants any truths, to let her know. Monica says she learned to let go of the man he was and love the one he is now. She just wants a conversation about who he’s become. She asks for a hug and he gives her one. She invites him to the annual Thanksgiving pizza dinner. He promises to think about it and she promises that, per tradition, it will be a disaster. I love Thanksgiving at the Q’s! Waaah! I miss Alan, and Lila, and Edward.

Elizabeth whines to Patrick about how the man she was going to marry is married to his fiancé. Patrick has an astute moment, and says something about how Elizabeth acted like something might go wrong just before the wedding was supposed to happen. She says if he just keeps Sam away from Jason, everything will be okay.

Dante wishes Valerie the best of luck (really, that’s what he says) and they have an awkward hug.

Lulu apologizes to Dillon. This time, her phone really does ring and she says it’s a reminder that she has to be somewhere and dashes off. Paul arrives. Dillon apologizes for taking Paul’s half a million, but Paul is like, it’s cool, I’ll write it off. I wish Paul was my dad. Dillon says he’s pulling the plug on the film. Paul says he feels partially responsible for encouraging him go after what he wanted. Paul and Dillon do some exposition dialogue to catch people up who missed the last few episodes.

Jordan isn’t totally buying that Paul hired Anna to keep everything going well. Anna says she’s got too much time on her hands and just sits around thinking about Duke. Jordan tells Anna to keep an eye on Paul because she doesn’t quite trust him. Anna says she has every intention of doing that.

Elizabeth tells Patrick that Sam will want Jason back. He says, “Ouch!” and I agree. That was freakin’ rude, but no surprise since she is soooo self-centered. Patrick says to give him some credit.

Sam says she understands that she and Jason might have taken different paths, but it freaks her out that he remembers nothing of their life together. She said she always had the feeling he was alive, even when everyone told her to shut-up and move on. She’s says Spinelli felt it spiritually, but she felt it physically in her heart. She can’t believe Jason didn’t feel it too. And – no surprise – there he is at the door!

Patrick tells Elizabeth que sera sera, and if what they have is real, it will work out. Like Elizabeth is going to let things alone. Monica arrives at the hospital and tells Elizabeth that Jason told her he feels like he’s being pulled in all directions, and she needs to back off. Go, Monica!

Alexis “introduces” herself to Jason, and leaves. Sam calls Danny and if those two don’t say something about the Lucky Buddha (which I think is actually not the right name) vow renewal, I am going to go out of my mind.

Paul tells Dillon not to give up on his dreams. I wouldn’t have expected him to be so cliché.

Dante and Lulu both show up for the doctor’s appointment they had to prepare for the embryo transfer. Very awkward. The Nurse Practitioner (I don’t really know what she is, but that’s what I decided) says the doctor is in surgery and gives Lulu some prescriptions. She says, “So. Are you ready to make a baby?” and I almost lose it.

Lulu says they’ve decided not to move forward and please tell the doctor they’re canceling. The NP asks what they should do with the embryo and she says don’t do anything and runs out. Dante follows, and asks what her plans are. She asks what shade of lipstick Valerie wears since it’s on his collar. D’oh! Then she tells him she might want to give Rocco siblings one day, and she doesn’t need him to do it. Oh, snap! Quadruple snap.

Valerie gets a call that she’s going to be working with Dante. No way, no how, would that ever happen IRL.

Monica tells Elizabeth to give Jason some time to remember. Another unbelievable scenario.

Jason tells Sam he has questions. She says if she can help him, she will, whenever he’s ready. She says he’s welcome to see Danny any time, and since Danny really doesn’t know what’s going on, there’s no drama or pressure. They almost hug, but it’s too awkward, so they shake hands, which is even more awkward. Lots of awkward in this episode. He starts to leave and Sam asks him not to go.

The Real Housewives of the OC – Brooks Tells All & Secrets Revealed

We’ve already seen the main point – Brooks telling Meghan to f-off.  This is basically a one-on-one interview with Andy Cohen to follow up the whole does-he-or-does-he-not have cancer debacle this season. There isn’t a lot to say about the show, since we’ve pretty much heard it all. Brooks has admitted to throwing around false documents for the show’s sake, but still insists that he did/does have cancer. He is not, however, going to make anyone privy to his real medical records. While we haven’t heard great things about him, my jury is still out on this. He seems like a real schmuck, but that doesn’t mean he isn’t sick.

My main gripe with the whole thing though, is how Vicki was treated. Maybe she knew, maybe she didn’t, but I’m sure she believed him up to a point. Things changed though, when her mother died. Vicki was tremendously affected by this and no one took that into account or even seemed to care. Meghan actually said, like the insensitive, unempathetic brainless twit that she is, that a death doesn’t affect other areas of her life. I don’t wish ill on her, but one day she will be sorry for those words. Oh, unless she is really heartless and once someone dies, they’re out of sight out of mind for her.

My father raised me and passed away just before I got married. It’s been 30 years now, and it still affects me in some ways. Time doesn’t heal all wounds; it just makes them easier to live with. When this was fresh, it affected me greatly. It’s like your world stops and you wonder how everything else can still be going on. I could see the tremendous pain that Vicki was, and still is, in. Perhaps Brooks was someone she could cling to in that time, and she didn’t want to see that there was anything wrong. If her friends really loved her, they would have backed off for a minute. Instead, they were absolutely relentless in their quest to prove Brooks was a liar and hammer opinions and questions at her. Meghan really does seem like there’s something wrong with her thinking, and she didn’t know Vicki, so that (almost) makes sense. But I’m disappointed in the other ladies. They should know better. Shame on them. And I see they’re still bitching about it. I hope they come around, but regardless, I hope Vicki is able to pull herself out of this funk she’s in. I haven’t always liked her behavior, but I think she has a good heart, and I’m rooting for her.

On to some revealed secrets. I’m glad they stopped using the term “lost footage.” Did they expect me to think Andy dropped it behind his desk and then forgot about it? Don’t insult my intelligence. I feel stupid enough already just watching this stuff.

I like these shows, because they often save the best for last, and there will be scenes that have me wondering why they weren’t included in the regular season. It’s also the time we get to see the women getting along, just having fun

Tamra says she hasn’t had a potato in 10 years. Ha-ha! Shannon says a Michigan diet is potato, potato, potato. I say an Oklahoma diet is beef, beef, beef.

We get to see some more of Heather shopping for the house. It has 70 doors! She says her closet, which I’m sure is also a dressing room, needs a combination to get in to. Is it a panic room too? Terry must be freaking loaded. I don’t think it came from Heather’s TV movie income. I’m not criticizing, just making an observation.

There wasn’t much Meghan in this show. I’m wondering if she left a bad taste in fans’ mouths or if she just didn’t contribute anything except negativity. She was even excluded from the additional footage of the cancer argument, which I somewhat tuned out since I’ve had enough now.

I’m glad to see The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills is coming back on December 1 (Giggy!), but it makes me think of how close Christmas is, and how unprepared I always am. Maybe I should get out the decorations tomorrow. Yeah, right.

November 11, 2015 — Last Night’s Loving, GH & LA Listings

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What I Watched Today

(random, rambling thoughts on today’s TV)

If Loving You Is Wrong

When the show starts, one of my dogs makes a loud snoring sound. I’m not sure if this is a comment on my choice of programming.

The kids are badgering Brad. They ask when their mother is coming home, and question him about leaving them alone in the house. He says he was next door talking to Marcie, but the kids are smarter than that, saying they know their parents aren’t talking to Marcie and Randal. They know something is wrong. Eddie comes busting in, and tries to order the kids around, but Brad drags him outside where he still gets way too loud, shouting about Randal being the father of Alex’s baby. He pretty much offers to murder Randal.

Mama Louise has made a meal for Marcie. She says she’s going home tomorrow and Marcie hugs her. Marcie asks how she’s going to get over it and Louise says, “Time,” but adds some people never get over it. Marcie says it’s been a while already and Louise says that she must love Randal because she wanted to hurt him so badly. She gives a mini speech about love and hate. Marcie says she feels humiliated and embarrassed about sleeping with Brad. Louise says she needs to stop drinking. Louise says it’s a bad idea to be a chronic drunk when you have a huge problem on your hands.

Eddie is sitting in a truck outside the strip mall. Ben approaches and tells Eddie that he can’t get Pete to come out to meet him. For whatever stupid reason, Ben has his girlfriend with him, and Eddie gets unnecessarily insulting to her. Eddie gives him some pills, says he’s getting out of there, and tomorrow Pete is dead (“Dead! Do you hear me?” Yes, we get it.)

Pete is once again trying to look at that stupid video. New girl Claudia interrupts him. He can’t catch a break with that thing. She gets some coffee and he sees some stuff that I have no idea what it is. Why the blip does he want to do this in the middle of the precinct? It’s hard to sneak around in a room full of people. Ben comes in and Claudia says she’s sorry, and that she saw part of the tape. I get it. It’s the tape of Ben getting shot and not by his own hand as he claimed.

Ben calls Eddie and tells him Pete saw the video. He tells him that Claudia saw it too. Now Eddie is going to come back to work and kicks whatever girl he’s with out of bed. He just constantly barks orders at everyone and he’s getting on my nerves.

Natalie drops by Kelly’s office. Kelly tells her that it’s going to be difficult for her to get a loan, but if she applies with Lucien, they can definitely get it. Kelly has a lot of good things to say about Lucien. Natalie is startled at how much money he has in the bank. Kelly asks if Natalie filled out the forms and signed his name. Natalie says yes, and Kelly is like, you can’t do that, that she can get fired. Natalie is insistent about wanting to know where Lucian got $250K.

Ben approaches Pete at work and wants to know why Pete is so distant. Pete says he’s just busy and to get lost. Uh-oh. Eddie walks in. It annoys me just looking at him. He stops Pete from leaving the room. Eddie wants the video. Pete plays stupid, but he’s not fooling Eddie. Pete keeps saying he doesn’t know what Eddie is talking about. Eddie gets all In his face and he tells him to open his locker or die. Pete says he’s going to the captain. Eddie says if he does, he won’t live one day on the streets. His face looks crazy and he says he gets off on shooting people.

Damn. This kid still stands his ground. Eddie starts slamming him around when Lucien walks in. Lucien wants to know why Eddie isn’t still convalescing, and Eddie says he was released, and woo-hoo, they’ll be riding together again.

After Eddie leaves, Lucien asks what’s up and Pete says Eddie is just being a dick. Lucien knows there’s more to it than that. Pete is practically crying and wants to know why Lucien can’t be his partner anymore. Lucien says he has to ride with Eddie because they were originally partners. Lucien tries again to get the truth from Pete, but for whatever reason, Pete won’t tell him.

Ramsey is out mowing the lawn, shirtless, and Kelly can’t help but notice. Me too. He’s feeling pretty badly about the loss of his mother, and Kelly invites him in. He says he’s all sweaty, and she says the sweatier the better. Not really, but I know she’s thinking it.

Alex wants to get out of the hospital, but the doctor says her blood pressure still needs to be monitored. She says Alex has to keep her stress level down. Alex says she’ll try. The doctor says on the upside, the baby is doing great.

Brad confuses all of us by showing up with flowers. He asks for a moment alone, and the doctor says no, since the monitor shows Alex’s blood pressure going through the roof. The doctor says he must be trying to torture her to death and he should be ashamed of himself. Brad says Alex should be ashamed and she says she is. He says he has a big surprise for her when she gets home, and I’m wondering why the doctor would even discharge her in his care.

Ramsey wants Kelly to call Marcie about selling the house. She says it’s probably not the best time, but calls anyway. When Marcie answers, she explains and puts Ramsey on the phone.

At the burger place Faun comes in to pick up the register bag. She tries to flirt with Joey, and he pretends not to care. Faun tries to kiss him in an employee room, but he says some other time because he doesn’t need grief from his mother. They kiss good-by and he tells her to be careful with the money, which is like telling us something is going to happen.

Yep, the drug dealer guys are outside watching. Juan tells (another) Randal that she goes to 17 locations and it’s a lot of money. Randal says that if Juan doesn’t get the money he owes him, he’s dead.

Louise says she thinks Randal is becoming a new man. Marcie chokes on her coffee. Randal is outside, staring at the shed, thinking of good times there with Alex. He actually looks like he’s out of his mind. Marcie has to go to work selling Ramsey’s house. There’s some chatting between Marcie and Louise, when all of a sudden, Randal comes in and grabs Marcie by the hair and pulls her to the ground. Whoa.

General Hospital

I had an extended lunch with a friend today, so I had to DVR this and give you a condensed version.

The first thing I see is Sonny dropping a coffee pot and I laugh.

Dante and Sonny talk. Sonny is totally pissed at Carly for not being at his beck and call. Carly visits Jason and wants him to talk to Sonny, since obviously she’s not getting anywhere. Jason acts like he’s all busy (with what? it’s not like he has to go to work – or on the honeymoon) and she asks him to do it for her.

Nina wants to get a job because she thinks it will be fun and I think she should go back to Shadybrook. She wants to be a fashion editor and contribute to society. While she is wearing a fabulous dress, I have my doubts that being a fashion editor is a contribution to anything except magazines. Mushy stuff between her and Franco.

Boring stuff with Julian and Alexis. Julian is having tax problems, and owes a bunch of money.

Sonny keeps acting like an idiot, telling Dante that Carly thought “Jake’s“ (will the quotation marks ever end?) wedding was more important than him. I refrain from throwing a brick at the TV. Only because I don’t have one. Dante says Sonny will get Avery back and he’ll get Lulu back because he lives in a dream world.

Lulu tells Laura about the sizzle reel debacle, and asks her to watch Rocco because she doesn’t want to be there when Dante comes to see him. Laura is like wtf? and Lulu starts crying and asking why, why, why?

Maxie gets on Dillon’s case. She tells him skywriting would have been a better idea than what he did, although she probably would have done the same thing. She tells him the fundraising was a success and they have to find a new place to film. He says he’s abandoning the project because he’s a big baby. Maxie says the mantra of GH – what about me?

Obrecht shows up at Nina’s place. Nina leaves for her job interview. Franco wants his hospital job as an art therapist back. Obrecht is fine with that, but she says he has to go through a psychological interview due to new rules.

Laura tells Lulu to take some time and gives her props for putting Rocco first.

Carly drags Jason’s ass to Sonny, who immediately acts like big baby number two, not listening to her. Carly tells Jason he’s going to have to tell him who he is and he does.

Nina comes to Julian’s office to interview for the job of fashion editor at Crimson. Does he own The Sun too? No, wait. That was One Life to Live. Julian tells her to go to HR,

Maxie tells Dillon that neither Spielberg nor Coppola ever shut down production because of girl trouble. I say that’s because they probably never had any girlfriends. Dillon says she’ll have to give back the donor money, but not to give up, because no matter where she lands, they’ll be lucky to have her.

Laura invites Lulu to stay at Windermere. Isn’t that Nicholas’s castle? Enter Dante.

At first, Sonny acts all stupid, not believing Jason is Jason. He says Carly invented the DNA test and she tells him he’s an a-hole. Okay, I just wish she told him that. She tells him to really look at Jason, past his face. Sonny takes Jason’s hand in his and they kiss. Okay, that didn’t happen either and I’m actually making fun of what’s a tender moment. Sonny realizes that it’s Jason and I like Sonny for the first time in a while. Jason wants desperately to leave.

Dante wants to talk to Lulu, saying they can get past it. She says she doesn’t want to get past it.

Nina has what passes as an interview with Julian. He asks that stupid question about where do you see yourself in five years, and she answers the way we’d all like to – she wants to run the magazine. Julian is like okay, why not?

Jason says he doesn’t remember being Sonny’s friend, which is kind of sad. Sonny tells him all about their friendship, and gives me the side of Sonny I like. He says that Jason never realized how much he was valued and lived a dangerous life. Sonny tells him that he’s home.

Laura talks to Dante, telling him that he needs to take some time too. She says if he doesn’t give Lulu some space, he’ll definitely lose her.

Dillon tries to apologize to Lulu. She says he may have done her a favor in the long run, but he humiliated her in the process.

Alexis freaks out over Julian putting Nina in charge of the magazine. She says that Nina will run it into the ground. Then the light bulb comes on. Julian will have a tax write off. You know what’s going to happen though, right? She’s going to make it a success.

Jason says he doesn’t think he’ll ever remember. That if being surrounded for the past year by all these people who care about him didn’t jar a memory, nothing will. He says enough already, he can’t do this. Carly says she and Sonny need him. He says they need Jason and he doesn’t know who Jason is or how to be him.

Lulu tells Dillon that she wants nothing to do with Dante, Valerie or him. Then she plants a huge kiss on him and I get totally confused.

Maxie returns Nina’s check to Franco. Nina comes in and tells them about her new job. Maxie wonders why Nina got hired when she doesn’t know squat and Nina hires her as an assistant. (All dream jobs should come this easy.)

Sonny is cool with Carly now. He says he wishes things were different. Don’t we all, Sonny. Don’t we all.

Jason goes home to Elizabeth’s house and has a flash of a memory about Sonny.

Million Dollar Listing: LA

JoshA and James have buried the hatchet. They talk about how they got into real estate, and discuss having kids. James has three, and Josh is on the fence about it. James asks why the two Joshes can’t make nice with one another.  Not only is that not happening, JoshA has recently taken a listing out from under JoshF .

JoshF is showing a house to a client who has a long list of wants.  It’s one of those houses right on the beach. It’s kind of odd designed, half Spanish Inquisition, half Flintstones. While she likes it, Josh seems to think they can do better.

JoshA is showing the overpriced house that he’d only gotten one offer for even after lowering the price. The couple is looking for a weekend house. Must be nice, huh? All of these houses always seem fabulous to me and the views are always spectacular. Well, except for that house with the apartment building thisclose.

Commercial break and important information. Andy’s Brooks interview is tomorrow, Thursday night at 9 pm. Be there or have a life.

James tells David about his meeting with JoshA. James talks about his lack of success in finding a commercial property for his client who wants a space on Sunset. James makes a call and finds out that the Hustler building (yes, that Hustler) has been looked at by some developers.

JoshA gets a wakeup call from his client who just got back from Russia about the house he agreed to lower the price on. The client is getting itchy to move on, but Josh has some prospects. Josh says consider the fire under his ass lit.

JoshF’s client wonders if there’s a house they haven’t seen yet. Josh says he can’t figure out if she’s picky, or if she really doesn’t want to move. He says he’s shown her everything in her budget, so he goes higher. Showing first, and telling the price later. These beach houses all look the same from the outside, very oblong and boxy, but the insides are pretty fantastic. This woman seems kind of uncomfortable, but I get the feeling that it’s being on camera.

David wants his girlfriend, Adrienne, to consider selling the house they built together. At first, Adrienne is really put off by it, but she sees the wisdom in selling in a hot market and having money to put away for the future. She tells him to go ahead. Lots of kissy, kissy.

James has difficulty getting through to the representative for the Hustler building, which is being sold off market, but his tenacity pays off. He tells the client they have to be low key, and they pretend to shop in what must be the Hustler store, because it’s filled with naughty clothing and sundries. They get a private showing of the building, and James talks about adding floors and the view. Why do they care about the view if it’s not residential? Too good of a view and no one will work. Price is no object, so James has to find out what other buyers have offered, and offer more.

JoshA gets an offer for the overpriced then lowered price place. He has to bring girlfriend Heather’s mini Yorkie dog, Tom Brady (yes, named after that Tom Brady) with him for some reason. This would definitely make me more apt to make a deal, but I don’t know about his client.

JoshF’s client does not want to spend $8 million, and low-balled the seller. They counter with $8.1 million. The client does not want to come up, and it becomes obvious she doesn’t really want to move. Way to waste the broker’s time. While these guys make skabillion dollars a year, I still don’t like to see anyone’s time wasted like that.

JoshA arrives at the client’s house and it looks like he’s interrupted an appointment with another listing agent. What’s the matter with these people? The client tells him he’s meeting with different agents for the property they’re at and acts like Josh isn’t serious about things because he brought the dog. Josh calls his brother, Max, who has the better relationship with the buyer and gives him the client’s counter offer. The buyer counters with a slightly better, best and final, offer. Josh says he personally thinks it’s a good offer and the client agrees. And finally smiles. He also gives Josh the other listing. I sometimes wonder how much of the clients’ attitudes are for the camera.

James brings his client to the Hustler building where they’re going to meet with Larry Flynt’s team. The meeting table is normal, but the chairs are these amazing creations with brocade Victorian scenes on them. One of the reps says that they have an offer already of $18 million. He says they’ll also need time to relocate the store. Since the client needs time for permits and such, that’s okay. They do have a long term tenant that has 9 years to go on their lease. The client is willing to swing $300K the tenant’s way. They make a bunch of negotiations I don’t understand, but it looks good, and they’re going to bring in Larry Flynt. While I’m not exactly a fan of his work, I have to admit, he’s an interesting character.

James wants the deal done today because he doesn’t want the competition knowing their game. Larry comes in and I wonder why his outfit looks like something off of a Kmart rack. Larry okays the deal and I think they just brought him on as window dressing for the show, since he didn’t contribute much. The final sale price is $19,050,000 and James’s commission is $457,500. I can’t say he didn’t work for this one, but I’d probably retire right there.

Next week, the two Joshes butt heads for the billionth time.

November 10, 2015 — The Real Jason Morgan, a Yacht Hook Up, & Some Quotes

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What I Watched Today

(random, rambling thoughts on today’s TV)

General Hospital

We start where we left off with Ava insulting Sonny. He says he can still load a gun, and could blast her with so many bullets, they wouldn’t recognize the body. Carly and the guys tell him to knock it off.

Sam asks Patrick if he thinks the DNA test is legit and he says it looks that way.

I hope Jason slaps Elizabeth off that bridge. She admits she didn’t want him to know who he was, but doesn’t exactly say she knew who he was. He says it’s not like she was keeping anything from him, so there’s nothing to forgive. You know this is going to come out eventually, and I can’t wait. I hope he gets seriously pissed off at her.

Carly tells Ava to back off. How can she even still want to be with Sonny after what he just said? Kiki, Scotty and Ric come in and Ava tells Kiki to tell them what she saw. Kiki says she saw nothing, but I have the feeling that there’s a tape recorder in Ava’s purse. She got awfully close to Sonny when she baited him. Carly tells them about the car accident. Hello, Kiki, are you listening?

Jason tells Elizabeth he’s sorry things turned out the way they did, but he still loves her. She says let’s get married like we were going to. Um…he’s already married. I think you have to take care of that first.

Sam tells Patrick that she’s reliving every interaction she had with Jason. She asks Patrick if Jason will start to remember, and he says most amnesiacs would have remembered by now. I feel badly for Sam, since she must be feeling pretty confused. Patrick says they’ll figure it out about her marriage to Jason.

Hayden says she noticed Nicholas didn’t react when Jason made his announcement, and it’s because he and Elizabeth already had their freak out when they first found out about him months ago. Nicholas says apparently Hayden regained her memory. I really love Rebecca Buddig in this role. I liked her on All My Children, but Greenlee was a little sappy for me.

Hayden says she was confused when she first woke up, but the familiar surroundings at Windermere brought the rest back. He asks why she was pretending when she could have taken advantage of him. She says she thought twice after the first time when she got a bullet in her head for her trouble, and she’s also really interested in him.

Kiki is looking at everyone with a face like something out of a horror film. Was she drunk when she put on her makeup? That’s not a smoky eye, that’s a raccoon eye. Ric goes off on Carly about not showing up on time. She wants to tell Sonny that Jason is alive, but the court is reconvening and he’s like, later.

Sam says Patrick is talking about her marriage like it’s just a piece of paper, when it’s more complicated than that. And thank you, Sam, for pointing out that he did the same thing to Sabrrrina. Idiot.

Elizabeth is pushing Jason to get married by the Justice of the Peace immediately. He says his feelings for her haven’t changed, but he’s legally married to Sam and they have a son. Elizabeth says she wouldn’t expect him to turn his back on them. He says his DNA might be Jason’s, but not his memories. He said he heard so many stories about how much Jason meant to people, but there was a lot he didn’t like. He says he can’t marry Elizabeth because he doesn’t want to give her a name he’s not sure he wants himself. I seriously wish he’d get a clue. Elizabeth sure seems anxious to get on with the marriage and if she really loved him, you’d think she’d give him a minute to breathe.

Nicholas says Hayden’s been playing him and for all he knows, she still is. She asks if that makes him extra hot and I laugh. She tells him she (ugh!) “has feelings for him” and she believes he has the same feelings. Now I will have an earworm of Feelings for the rest of the day. You’re welcome.

Sam goes over various people’s reactions to Jason, like Spinelli and Carly. Patrick continues to act selfishly and tries to talk her out of feeling any way except uncertain. He’s actually starting to stammer because he knows he’s not getting anywhere. Sam says she doesn’t want to hurt Patrick, and he says he doesn’t want her to make the same mistake he did.  “Don’t buy into the future of someone based on a memory,” he tells her. Geez, no one wants to give anyone a minute here.

Jason says he has enemies who will most likely be after him once they know he’s alive, and he doesn’t want to put Elizabeth and the kids in danger. She tries her best to backtrack, saying that she must have known inside who he really was.  Nice try.

The judge asks if Scotty has any character witnesses for Ava. He says Sonny would be their best bet. RIc is like, huh? and Scotty brings out the recording. Ric tries to say something about Sonny not knowing he was being recorded, but Scotty counters with it being a one-party state. The judge okays the recording to be played. Sonny either wants to disappear or kill Ava or both. It’s not looking good for him. I wasn’t on his side to begin with, but if he can’t even control himself that much, maybe he really isn’t the best custodial parent.

Hayden asks what Nicholas wants to do. She tells him that his life is more interesting with her around. That’s for sure. He blended into the wallpaper before she came along.

I want to smack Patrick. He goes on about how Jason loves Elizabeth now and makes up all kinds of crap. Sam wisely says no one really knows what’s going to happen now. Patrick tries to compare the whole thing with his Robin experience, but she says it’s not the same. He asks if she stopped loving him when she found out Jason was alive. She says no, but she doesn’t know what to do yet. He says let’s go home and deal with it tomorrow. Tomorrow is now vying with Feelings for the earworm of the day.

Jason tells Elizabeth that he’s not going anywhere, but he needs to figure out what it is to be Jason Morgan.

Everyone tries to tell the judge that Ava baited Sonny, because in Port Charles you’re allowed to shout out in court. The judge says Sonny’s statements are disconcerting, and also, since he said them in a court, Ava could file charges. Scotty says the judge will sign Ava’s death warrant if she doesn’t have custody. The judge says a lot of blah-blah-blah about Sonny being an idiot and awards custody to Ava, giving Sonny supervised visits if the caseworker okays it. She says Sonny had better learn how to play well with others. Ava tells Sonny that she doesn’t want Avery not to know her father, but he needs to get with the anger management program.

At home, while Sam muses over her engagement ring, Patrick stupidly asks what she’s thinking about. She says she doesn’t know how to explain things to Danny when she doesn’t understand them herself.

Elizabeth tells Jason that the kids (who were out for ice cream when he came back with Carly) are confused and don’t understand why they didn’t get married. He says they’ll talk to the kids in the morning and she asks what they’re going to say. Jason says “the truth,” and Elizabeth asks what that word means, since she has no concept of it. She wants to go up to bed, but he says he needs a minute. I think he actually needs like a year.

Sonny acts like a big a-hole, saying Carly wasn’t there for him. Yeah, how much time did she even take? She was in a car accident, you freaking moron. She wants to tell him about Jason, but he goes la-la-la and covers his ears. For once I give Michael some credit, because he sticks around to listen. She tells him that Jason is alive. And his eyes go all crazy.

Nicholas wants to go upstairs now, but Hayden wants to do it right this time and take it slow. He says he’ll see her at breakfast. She makes a phone call (when she’s right outside the door), saying she needs to talk, but it has to be in person.

Carly calls Jason and gets voice mail. She says she was late getting to the courthouse, Sonny’s in a bad place and wouldn’t listen, and she thinks they should tell him together.

Sam shows up at Elizabeth’s house on Jason’s motorcycle. She gives him the keys and says he can ride it over to see Danny any time he wants. We end with Elizabeth looking out the window all sad. What a tangled web we weave, eh?

Below Deck

Again, so glad Chef Ben is back!

Rocky and Emile go for a walk. (Sounds like a children’s book.) She tells Emile about hooking up with Eddie. In his individual interview he asks if he was supposed to “high five” her and I laugh. Rocky tells Emile that she really liked Eddie (thank you for not saying you “have feelings for” him) and she doesn’t hook up just to hook up. Emile says he had no idea and she says she has evidence on her phone. Think any good is going to come from this conversation? Me neither.

Ben and Kate are flirting like crazy.

Now Emile is pissy about taking orders from Eddie. No surprise since he’s 12 and not grounded in reality.

The primary guest is a 29-year-old self made millionaire. Captain Lee says those words scare the hell out of him. It’s the last charter, which bums me out because I want this show on all year.

Rocky asks Eddie if he’s excited to get off the boat and back to real life. Eddie disappoints me when he talks about how Rocky knew he had a girlfriend and she seduced him, absolving himself. While I can see how he made the mistake in the first place, he lost points with that remark.

Emile says he wonders how Eddie would take a few punches. Because he’s 5. Now he has a crummy attitude all over the place. Connie says something about that she could see why Rocky dumped him and he calls Connie a whore. What? He’ll be lucky if she doesn’t throw a few punches. And she could probably knock him out.

Amy tells Rocky that working on a yacht is hard and she has to find a way to control herself. Rocky starts crying and Amy says she feels badly for her. Not me. She’s as crazy as a loon. Eddie shouldn’t have gone near her in the first place, but she deserved what she got.

The guests arrive. These are the hot girlfriends? Ben concurs, but I don’t.

It’s time to go on the jet skis. The guests are from Chicago (which Ben says is the Mecca of steakhouses), and the primary says he wants to be blown away by Ben’s version of steak and potatoes.

Ben talks to Kate about Rocky. He says she seems like she’s dragging around and maybe they should give her a break. Kate says he hasn’t been there the whole season, and she and Amy have had to do most of her work. Kate doesn’t think the lack of work ethic should be rewarded, but says if Ben wants to do something for her, fine. Ben says Kate is being a mean bitch, but Kate says Rocky is a spoiled brat and I agree.

Eddie finds out that Rocky is following his girlfriend on Instagram. Ok, now she’s not just a spoiled brat, she’s creepy. Eddie is freaked and I don’t blame him.

I’m not a huge steak eater, but this cut of meat looks fantastic. Ben says the fun thing about cooking on a yacht is that you have unlimited means, and it’s a shame Chef Ben was repetitive. The guests say it’s the best rib eye they’ve ever had. Amy says Vito (the primary) has the money to show his guests a good time, but lacks the game to help them enjoy it. One of the girls calls him a d-bag and decides to remove herself form the table. He guests leave Vito and his girlfriend (?) at the table. Oh, I take that back, it sounds like they haven’t slept together and he was hoping to score on this trip. Not happening.

Rocky acts like an utter idiot, telling Emile she’s going crazy, crying, and generally acting like Eddie was the love of her life. There is really something wrong with this girl. Emile, in his immaturity, says Rocky needs someone to speak up for her and the truth will come out. This means he’s probably going to be the one to help that along.

Amy gives Connie props for actually doing her job. Eddie has said she’s the only deckhand he can trust. I like Connie. She’s a work hard/play hard kind of girl.

The guests are down for breakfast. Connie and Eddie are in the wheelhouse, and Emile comes by to apologize to Connie. She tells them what he’d said to her, and Captain Lee wonders what’s wrong with people. I’ve been asking that for years. The guests are being demanding, and Chef Ben is getting cranky. Vito Is hung over and excuses himself 10 seconds after he sits down. I’ll be damned if I ever pay 10s of 1000s of dollars for a vacation and spend it in the toilet.

Emile sees that the little boat that they take on excursions is almost banging into the yacht and tries to fix that by falling into the water between the two. He claims he doesn’t want to get involved with the Rocky/Eddie thing. Then why is he? I do really know why he is. He thinks he’s going to be Rocky’s knight in shining armor and she’s going to give him nookie. I hate to tell him this, but that’s not what’s going to happen. But he’s 10, so there’s no talking to him.

The guests are unhappy with breakfast, although they’re being really good about it, and just order different food. Kate has to tell Ben that the eggs were runny and the sausage was overcooked. This is not a messenger job anyone wants with any chef.

Commercial break. Apparently, The Hunger Games has hooked up with Chrysler. Did the author of the books okay that? If so, I just lost respect for them.

Amy says the secret ingredient to any bad breakfast is Mimosas. I add it’s also the secret ingredient to any bad lunch, dinner, or snack. Ben is going out of his way to make a phenomenal seafood dish to make up for the crappy eggs and sausage. I’m in. The guests are happy and all is forgiven. They’re actually pretty easy-going though.

The guests are going on a beach picnic. Captain Lee says they have a good attitude on the boat right now, so it should be fine. Little does he know. Vito is napping again. I guess he’s spending the whole charter snoozing. Rocky is staying behind and Emile offers to stand up for her and do pretty much anything she tells him to.

The guests are impressed with the picnic setup. Rocky decides to put on her mermaid tail and swim over. She says water calms her down. Judging by my neighborhood, it calms a lot of crazy people down. She flounders (no pun intended) around on the beach in front of the guests. Kate says that whenever anything with fins and a tail washes up in front of you, it ruins the picnic because it’s sad an awkward. Or something like that.

That brainless twit! Rocky is telling Amy about her and Eddie. She’s also making it sound like this was going on the entire season, and it wasn’t. She’s acting like she’s in middle school, which is why I don’t understand why she’s not into Emile. Amy says she has to sit down. She asks if Eddie broke up with his girlfriend, and Rocky acts clueless. Now she’s giving details that I don’t want to know and I can’t imagine that Amy does. Rocky says Eddie is acting like an asshat now. Emile comes in and says he wants  to talk to Eddie. Rocky is all like, what have I done? What did that moron think was going to happen when she told him? Her own immature idiocy must have recognized his.

Next week, the finale. And Eddie denies the hooking up.

The People’s Couch – Quotes of the Week

Because I can never pick just one.

Don’t you think he’s missing a few sandwiches? Blake; No. I just don’t think they’re fancy sandwiches. Emerson, referring to a character on Ash Vs. the Evil Dead

There was a time when I was definitely naked and afraid, and it was on our wedding night. Andrew, while watching Naked and Afraid

The funniest moment, however, was when one of the dogs snatched a potato chip from Julie and she snatched it back. I can identify.

November 9, 2015 — GH, London & Gratuitous Pups

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What I Watched Today

(random, rambling thoughts on today’s TV)

 

General Hospital

Paul and Ava are grappling on the desk, but since they know how desperately I want to get back to that wedding, they cut things short. Anna is at Paul’s office door. Exit Ava.

Sonny complains about the wheelchair access at the courthouse. Rick has his Clark Kent look going on.

Heeeere we go! Jason enters the church with Carly. Elizabeth babbles like an idiot about getting on with the wedding, since Carly is okay. Jason says, so sorry, he’s got bigger news. He thinks he knows who he is. Thinks. Come on man, accept it now.

Commercial break that I can barely sit through.

Ava arrives at the courthouse and wonders why Carly isn’t there, suggesting maybe Carly doesn’t want the baby. Ric tells Sonny not to lose his cool. Neither Sonny nor Julian have been able to get Kiki to come. Julian suggests that Ava work something out with Sonny, but she says that if she doesn’t get full custody, he’ll make sure she never sees Avery again.

Paul tells Anna that he has a strategy for dealing with Ava. Is that what they’re calling it now? A strategy?  Anna says she might as well confess to killing Carrrlos. Paul is like, go ahead, and shows her a picture of Emma on his phone.

Just as the hearing is about to start, Kiki walks in. Ava thinks Kiki came for her, but I’m thinking probably not. Her real name is Lauren? How did they get Kiki out of that?

Elizabeth continues to babble. Sam sees that Carly has Spinelli’s wonderful laptop, and Carly says the program finished. Sam asks who “Jake” is and he says it. He finally says he’s Jason Morgan, but it’s through clenched teeth. He really does not want to be Jason. The sad part is, this is probably going to be the highlight of my week and it’s only Monday.

At the hearing, Morgan is up first. Scotty says that Sonny sent Morgan away to boarding school and Morgan says that was his idea. I’m surprised the judge doesn’t burst out laughing.

Elizabeth is like, you’re Jason? How? Carly shows them the facial reconstruction and everyone is looking all around like they did on The Haunted Star when they showed the sizzle reel. Carly says they were all so convinced Jason was dead, they didn’t see the signs. Carly pulls out the DNA test. Nicholas looks like he has indigestion, and Elizabeth tries to be swallowed up by the earth. Sam is like, no way, but she’s forgetting the “vow renewal” at the Lucky Buddha or wherever it was, when the old blind lady insisted he was Jason. I’m hoping Hayden gets to have some kind of input here, although I like her with Nicholas, and that would probably put the kibosh on their relationship. I don’t want this episode to end. Ever.

Commercial break. Apparently having curly hair has something to do with whether you get on the cheerleading squad or not. What?

Anna says how dare Paul wave Emma’s photograph in her face? He says he’s trying to get her to see reason, but she says he knows if she confesses, he’ll be incriminated because he’s covering up something besides switching the bodies. She suggests he might arm Emma, but he gets indignant at the mere suggestion. He says he admires her bond with Emma and doesn’t want to see her go to prison for what was justifiable homicide. She says he’d better be telling the truth, and if he goes near Emma, he’s a dead man.

Morgan talks about Ave killing Connie. Scotty counters with Sonny having killed Michael’s biological father, AJ. Sonny says he did his time, and Ric tells the judge they’re going to be filing charges against Ava. The judge says the court can’t be concerned with kinda, sorta, and we’ll be filing charges some other time. In my head is Judge Judy saying, “I don’t care!” with her hands cupped around her mouth. Michael gets on the stand, and Scotty brings up how Michael originally tried to get custody of Avery because he thought Sonny was unfit. Truth!

All the unnecessary guests leave the church. Hayden wants to go, but Nicholas says he’s not leaving Elizabeth. (Bleh.) Sam is totally freaking out. She remembers how every time Danny saw “Jake,” he was drawn to him. Oh ho! Elizabeth tries to act like, oh yeah, you’re right and “Jake” was drawn to you, and blah-blah-blah, trying to cover for her dishonest self. I hope she trips on her wedding dress train on the way back to her going nowhere life. And does she really think that young Jake isn’t going to say, told you so?

Michael says that he was reacting to AJ’s death when he fought Sonny for custody. Ava shouts something out about Sonny being a murderer. Scotty says Sonny has a dark and complicated relationship with all of his children. He asks Michael if he didn’t change his name legally from Corinthos to Quartermaine. Michaels says again that he was reacting to AJ’s death, and he wanted to hurt Sonny by taking Avery from him. He also goes on about how Sonny taught him to fish, and play baseball, and built him a stage in the barn.

Kiki takes the stand. Scotty thanks her for testifying on behalf of Ava. She says au contraire. She’s there to tell the court what a lying, stinking mother Ava is.

Paul acts like he’s all on Anna’s side. He says he would have done the same thing in her place. He says the good she can accomplish outweighs her crime.

Sam asks Jason if he remembers anything about their life together, but he says he doesn’t remember any more than he did when he woke up in the hospital. Jason says she deserves to have the Jason she loved back, but he looks at her as a friend, not his wife. Ouch! That’s the worst I-just-want-to-be-friends excuse I’ve ever heard. Sam runs out crying. I feel a little badly for Patrick in all this, but not that much. It’s a sort of divine retribution, since he did the same thing to Sabrrrina . Elizabeth tries tell Jason he has a new life as Jake now, but he’s not having that either. He says he had a life and someone stole it from him. He practically runs Elizabeth over to get to Nicholas. Is this where Hayden comes in?

Commercial break. It’s all about the LEGOS, but it looks like they’re geared to adults. Admit it. You know you play with your kids’ toys.

Jason gets Nicholas in a chokehold. Why doesn’t he realize that Elizabeth was part of this? He lets go, but says he’s not done with Nicholas. Nicholas says that his grandmother is to blame and he doesn’t know anything. Carly says if Jason is right, Nicholas is going to pay. Nicholas and Hayden start to go, and Sam says that if he was hiding Jason’s identity, she’ll never forgive him. Like he cares.

Elizabeth babbles some more. Carly interjects that she needs to knock it off because he’s still married to Sam. That shuts her up. Jason wants to go figure things out. Carly tries to follow, but Elizabeth stops her with some egocentric words about how Jason loves her and needs her right now. Me, me, me, as usual. Lucas tells Carly that Sonny needs her right now.

Paul keeps trying to talk Anna into keeping her mouth shut. He shows her the pic again, and says that Emma doesn’t have her mother and needs Anna. He says when he saw Anna and Emma picking out the Halloween costumes, it was the first time he saw her smile. She asks what he really wants, and he says he wants them to work together. I like Paul, even though he’s a bad guy.

Kiki talks back and forth with Ava, which they would never allow in a real court. In Port Charles, it’s like anyone can speak up whenever they want to. The judge says it’s time for a break and I agree. Let’s get back to Jason. Kiki tells Sonny he’s always been good to her and moons over him for saving TJ. I guess she’s forgotten that TJ never would have been kidnapped in the first place if it hadn’t been for Sonny. It’s his own fault that he’s in that wheelchair. BTW, everyone is wearing funeral black at this hearing. Ava and Sonny are alone in the courtroom. Ava tells Sonny that if he gets custody, Avery will have to grow up taking care of him instead of the other way around. I see she’s going to play the wheelchair bound card.

Commercial break. Every day this storyline continues, I worry that ABC News will break in on the last 2 seconds.

Anna wants to know what kind of job Paul has in mind. He says her experience with the WSB is invaluable and he wants to hire her as a consultant. He says they both understand that you sometimes need to step outside the lines when it comes to justice.

Ava tells Sonny that she sees pity in everyone’s eyes when they look at him. She says they feel sorry for him, but glad they’re not the ones in the chair. She wonders how long Carly will be happy with an invalid who can’t satisfy her. He grabs her wrist and threatens her with serious bodily harm, just as Carly walks in. Not the best timing.

Hayden tells Nicholas that she’s totally turned on by his chivalry, but he should be concerned that Jason will find out what he and Elizabeth knew.

Sam is still freaked that Jason is alive and her husband.

Jason is on the bridge when Elizabeth approaches. He talks about remembering the bridge and asks if he came here a lot. She tells him to look at her and when he does, she tells him she’s sorry. Is she going to out herself on her part in the deception? I wanted that to be Hayden’s job.

Great show!

Ladies of London

We’re back from the Denmark debacle. Annabelle is visiting with The Baroness (Caroline #2). She says everyone was having “their own personal drama” on the trip. Maybe so, but I’d pretty much give her the Personal Drama Award for Passive Aggressive. Julie joins them. She says she loved Denmark and Annabelle rolls her personally dramatic eyes.

The Baroness brings up Julie having said she’s scared of Caroline #1 a million years ago. Annabelle starts going on about people talking behind your back. She’s obviously referring to Julie and says she’s changed. I think her problem is actually that Julie is branching out and doing her own thing and is busier than Annabelle. I don’t think Julie has a mean bone in her body. Ah-ha! (In Nelson voice.) Julie brings up a text on her phone when she apologized to Annabelle. Annabelle goes on about losing Alexander McQueen – 5 years ago – and how everyone is supposed to fall at her feet because she lost a friend and Julie didn’t give her a “cuddle and kiss” at his funeral when there was a line a mile long. What is up with this chick that she needs people to acknowledge her every second? Julie starts crying – probably what Annabelle wanted – and says sometimes she has to text because her plate is pretty damn full. I used to like Annabelle. Now I think she’s an a-hole.

Juliet steps in, saying she does feel love from Julie and understands how sometimes you can’t be there 24/7 for everyone. I wonder when she got added to this lunch, since she just kind of appeared.

Julie meets with Marissa, who she says has the best relationship with Annabelle. No surprise since they’re both insensitive, self-centered twits. Julie says texting for her is like letter writing and doesn’t always have time for calls or visits. Marissa does get one thing right. Annabelle has no husband and kids, and therefore doesn’t understand the time suck a family can be. Julie says she’s going to have to have a word with Caroline #1 as well, and Marissa says the new balls she’s grown look good on her.

I do feel badly for Caroline #1 losing her business. She says she understands that she’s blessed with a wonderful home life, but she misses the office. She says that in England, women are expected to be all about home and family. I’m not sure how different that is from the US, no matter what anyone says. Here, you’re just supposed to juggle an outside job too.

Marissa gets together with Annabelle. She brings up the Julie thing. Annabelle says with Julie, it’s not just one tear, the floodgates open. I want to make fun of her until she cries. Honestly, in the beginning, I thought she was the mature one, but as time has gone on, I see she’s a pot stirrer.

Now Annabelle is out to tea with Caroline #1. Caroline says she feels like she’s been brought in to fix it. Whatever “it” is. She tells Annabelle she invited her out to see where she is with everyone. Annabelle says something about being British and moving on, but that’s not what I see from her at all. She hangs onto things for dear life. Caroline says Annabelle keeps things to herself and she wants others to ask what’s going on. Annabelle says she knows she comes across as a “cold cow,” but that’s’ not the case. Stop acting like one then. Caroline says she doesn’t want her to leave the friend group, but she needs to get with the program if she wants to stay. In other words, you have to be a friend to have one. Maybe the problem is they don’t have Girl Scouts there.

Caroline says Annabelle needs to make a decision. Annabelle says she’s a vulnerable person, but doesn’t come off like that. No kidding. Caroline says she knows that Annabelle suffers from anxiety, but no one else knows that. I guess she’s one of those people who wants everyone to be a mind reader. I hate that. Caroline says she’s throwing a party and would like Annabelle to attend.

Caroline meets with her party planners. It’s going to be some kind of tropical theme. Apparently renting cabana stripper boys is expensive, starting at £650. We get a gratuitous shot of Caroline’s French bulldog puppy and I squee.

Annabelle is hosting some kind of children’s party for the launch of her new book. She has a grandma that looks like someone out of an old movie – the old lady who plays the maiden aunt who’s full of wisdom part – and she’s wearing a gigantic fur hat. Joan Collins Sophie shows up and I wonder if she has kids. She strikes me as someone who should be kept away from kids. Annabelle reads the new book Angry Me. It’s too bad she doesn’t take her own damn advice and deal with her feelings instead of taking them out on everyone else.

Man, I love the music on this show. I wonder if they have a soundtrack.

Caroline #1 is getting ready for her party, and like everyone else hosting a party, she hides all her kids’ toys and junk in the closets, so she can pretend she doesn’t live in her house. Julie is riding over with Marissa and says she doesn’t know what to expect from Annabelle anymore. Juliet and Annabelle are getting ready together, and Annabelle is wearing a romper so short I can see her butt cheeks. (BTW, don’t use the word “fanny” for butt in England. It’s bad. Also don’t use the word “butt.” It’s not bad, but “butty” means a sandwich, so you will be very confusing.)

Annabelle tells Juliet she needs to have something out with Julie. Yep. She moves on just fine. To be honest, while she is rocking the outfit, Annabelle looks totally out of place next to the other guests. She and Julie hug. Annabelle says that when they were in Denmark, Julie seemed like she wasn’t really there for her. Because that trip was all about her. I get what’s happening. Julie probably was at her beck and call at some point and now can’t be. Or maybe doesn’t want to be. What Annabelle needs are some single friends with no life. I don’t have kids either, but I certainly don’t expect my friends who do have them to be asking me what I need every single moment. It’s also not like Annabelle seems reciprocal on that front either.

Annabelle says Julie wasn’t there when she was going through a bad time, although she was there for Julie. Julie apologizes for the thousandth time and they hug it out. How long this will last, who knows? Lots of selfies and shots happen. Caroline #1 makes a big announcement that she’s moving on to a new phase and she wants everyone to come along. She says put the music on and let the naughtiness begin and everyone jumps in the pool

This is the finale, so everyone says their little thing at the end. None of it very interesting.

Vanderpump Rules

I can’t wait for Scheana to get pissed at Kristen.

New girl Lala (who names their kid “Lala?”) is working the register. She says so far she’s doing well; no one has punched her in the face or called her a bitch yet.  At least she has a sense of humor. I think. Maybe she was being serious.

Katie is training a new server and says it’s more complicated than you might think. They have to memorize several menus, as well as all the tables (the place is huge) and says Lisa is the most intimidating person in the world next to Beyoncé. I don’t think of either one of them as being intimidating.

Scheana is reliving her birthday party where James got drunk and acted ridiculous. James started chatting up some other girl and they left together in an Uber. Apparently, the car only went to James’s address, and the next morning, another Uber was called to go to the girl’s house at 6 am. The smoking gun Uber. In checking James’s email, Kristen found out.

Lala is already asking for time off because she’s an actress/model and doesn’t take the job seriously. Really. That’s pretty close to what she said.

Kristen is mad texting Scheana because the girl James left with is a friend of hers, so it’s her fault. Scheana says that when Kristen has problems, she takes them out on her friends. Why is she still friends with someone who’s saying she’s a bitch and her friend is a whore?

Jax has brought his new squeeze, Britney, for a job interview. Lisa asks her if she has a resumé, but she doesn’t have it with her since this was a spontaneous move. Katie tells Jax he needs to stop juggling women. He then asks Lala to some party and Katie says he takes out of sight out of mind to a whole new level. Lala is staying with Stassi on top of it. What’s wrong with him??? Lisa tells Britney she’ll think about it and to drop off a resumé. She says to her manager that this girl needs to put some “trousers” on the next time she comes for an interview. What she was wearing was comparable to Annabelle’s party outfit. Why didn’t Jax take her home to change and get a resumé?

Katie and Schwartz have a dog baby (Gordo) who’s having a birthday. They’re nine months into the six month old tomato she gave him (Schwartz, not the dog). He says the more she backs off, the more interested in following through he becomes. Sigh. So predictable. Katie talks about Kristen finding the Uber receipt. Ha-ha! Schwartz says it’s a waste for Kristen to date anyone not cheating on her since she has such great hacking skills.

Down to business. Kristen and James are sitting at a restaurant table and she tells him how embarrassing his behavior was at Scheana’s party. Kristen says that people call her crazy for checking boyfriend’s emals, but she always finds something. Maybe that says something about you, Kristen. James says nothing happened (another sigh). He asks if she’s ever cheated on him, she says she’s done and leaves. Kristen whines in her individual interview about how hurt she is. Please. After what she put that guy through last season, he deserves a hall pass, and I don’t say something like that lightly.

Katie, Schwartz, Ariana and Tom are out together and are discussing how they can’t take anybody seriously that Jax is dating. Ariana says he’s the SUR welcoming committee for anyone with boobies. The new girls join them, along with Britney and Jax. Interesting.  Jax has a foot fetish, slightly dirty please. He apparently Instagrams about this. Glad I’m not following him. Tom says Britney is on the Jax Express, and Jax says he is psyched about dating someone who is clueless about SUR and himself. Ariana says there’s something about Lala she doesn’t trust, and wonders why she was chosen to go to Venice when there are more than enough models around.

Kristen goes down Memory Lane, looking at pictures of her and James. James comes in, and he apologizes. She says he’s angry when he drinks, and he says he gets angry at her when he drinks, but he’s not sure why. I know why. Because she treated him like dirt and dated him while still stalking Tom and making his life miserable. James comes clean that he might have tried taking the other girl’s clothes off but nothing happened. In his individual interview, he says they totally had sex and he was lying to Kristen for her own good. His own good maybe. I know they’ve broken up by now, but didn’t he think she’d see this at the time? Kristen believes him and says he obviously wants to work on the relationship.

Tom and Ariana go furniture shopping. He wants some new amazing things to go with his new amazing girlfriend. I have to admit, they do seem to work well together. They both seem like decent people and it always boggles my mind that he was with Kristen for as long as he was. He says when buying a couch, it’s not about knowing your budget, but about knowing yourself. Whatever that means. I know myself well enough to know I’m not spending three grand on a couch. I guess they’ve never heard of Wayfair.

In pondering her friendship with Scheana, Ariana says sometimes the only requirement Scheana has for a friend is that they haven’t screwed her over in two months. Ariana says she’s not going to give any old tomatoes, but if Scheana is going to be friends with Kristen, she’s not going to be around as much. What kind of friend blames you for her boyfriend cheating and calls you a bitch? Providing you’re not the one he cheated with.

Jax pumps (no pun intended) Lisa for whether she’s going to hire Britney or not. Lisa is like, I want to see a resumé first. Lisa says she’s tired of Jax’s revolving girlfriend door where there’s weeks of “secret snogging behind the bar” and then he won’t return the girl’s phone calls and she’s left to pick up the pieces. I have some advice. Don’t hire Jax’s girlfriends and don’t get involved if you do. There. That’s done.

Commercial break. Lisa is introducing the new season of The Royals and we get a gratuitous Giggy moment.

Ariana and Scheana discuss the new girls, Lala and Faith. Ariana says that when you’re profile pic is your naked behind, modeling probably isn’t what you’re doing. It’s a great shot, but yep, it’s not exactly a Vogue shot. They grill Lala on her upcoming job. Ariana finally comes out and says she thinks Lala is lying and Lala admits she is. She says it’s a “fun” trip. They ask what she has to do for the trip. Whoa. Schaena says lying isn’t the way to make friends. I think Scheana is actually very good-hearted and I believe her when she says she didn’t like this girl coming in and lying to Lisa right off the bat.

Schaena bitches to Ariana about Kristen repeatedly texting her. She called Scheana a rude bitch because she didn’t know ahead of time that James was going to boink that girl. Kristen is more mental than Ed Grimley. Ariana runs down the Kristen crazy train list, which includes Kristen punching people at Scheana’s birthday party last season and creating a scene at her wedding. Scheana says she’s been friends with Kristen longer, but is closer to Ariana. I forgot to mention that, although good-hearted, I think Scheana doesn’t have a brain in her head. If anyone had put my close friend through what that nut did to Ariana last season, there’s no way I’d keep them in my life, no matter how long I’ve known them. If nothing else, you have to realize that at some point, you will be the target.

Yikes! The walls in Scheana’s apartment are covered with HUGE pictures from the wedding. Scheana says she’s had enough of the texting business and being called a bitch. Scheana says Kristen is the common denominator in all the problems and we flash back to every problem she’s caused at a party. Kristen can’t “wrap her head around” (ugh!) that it could possibly be her fault. Scheana says everyone is getting to the point where she can’t be friends with both them and Kristen. So then Kristen says it’s their fault. You know, because she could never, ever be the cause of any difficulties.

Next week looks good. Schwartz is ready to pop the question, and Shay walks out.

Après Ski

Just a quick note on this show. This group needs to take a lesson from Below Deck. If they want to provide a five star experience for the guest, they need to find out the guest’s needs ahead of time. Last week, they planned a surprise lunch in a gondola – not the kind like in Venice, but those things that go way up high on a cable – and one of the guests was not only vegan, but they were afraid of heights and had an anxiety attack. Obviously, the guests did not leave happy, but that could have been easily prevented. They also don’t seem to be able to retain the things they are told. Having it written down would make everything a million times easier. My two cents.

November 8, 2015 – Once Upon the Dead in Atlanta

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What I Watched Today

(random, rambling thoughts on today’s TV)

 

Once Upon A Time

Dark Emma brings the dagger to the rest of Excalibur. Rumpelstiltskin pops out, acting all merry, and puts some fairy dust or whatever on the sword.

Merlin is running through a desert with some guy and they see a chalice with water in it. The guy is like, I’ll go first because I’m thirstier than you, but when he touches it, he disappears, poof! in a cloud of smoke. Merlin is more humble in his approach and is able to quench his thirst. Everything around him turns green and he knows the chalice is the magical Holy Grail.

In Storybrooke, everyone is hanging out at the diner in Medieval wear. Merlin asks them to get the sword. He says blah-blah-blah about love and suddenly we’re back 200 years ago. A girl is there to see him. Her name is Nimue, and she’s seeking revenge on an evil being who ransacked her town. She’d seen him coming and she ran. She’s brought some seeds and says her best revenge would be to plant some flowers that grow only in her town, and for the flowers to live on. This is the stupidest revenge plot I’ve ever heard of. She plants the seeds in a container, Merlin goes bibbidy-bobbidy-boo and the flowers spring up.

Nowadays Merlin tells Emma they need some kind of spark and he wants her to help him get it. This isn’t a euphemism for anything. They really need to hunt down a literal spark. He says he sees two paths for their journey, in one she resists darkness and they’re successful; in the other, she succumbs to darkness and he dies.

There’s some mushy stuff between Emma and Hook, but I miss most of it because I was out of the room. I guess Nimue stuck around because Merlin is telling her all about how he found the Holy Grail. Any mention of holy and grail in the same sentence always makes me think of Monty Python, and ever since the Camelotites landed, I’ve been waiting for the Knights Who Say Ni to show up. Merlin wants to refashion the grail into a sword. Nimue is impressed that he doesn’t want to use the grail for his own gain, so Merlin makes a ring out of a leaf for her. Okay, all this magic and a Holy Grail and everything, and he gives her a ring made out of a leaf? Cheapskate.

Back in the diner, Zelena offers a trade. She knows how to get to the sword if she can have her magic back. She leads them to a crypt. Or it could be a fancy root cellar. Regina says if they get in and out with the sword, they’ll talk about the magic thing.

Arthur is stirring a cauldron and acting like a paranoid weirdo. He pours something from the cauldron over a helmet and it dissolves. He tells his lackeys to go pour it over everyone. Nice. If I were Gwinivere, I’d be looking for the nearest exit.

Merlin asks Emma if she’s embraced her powers and she says she’s done some dark things lately. But she figures if she’s questioning it, she must still have a conscience.

Merlin and Nimue go back to where her village was. He thinks she has survivor’s remorse, but she says she’s just angry. She says if she had his magic, she’d be all over the place doling out vigilante justice. Whoa. What happened to planting the flowers being enough? Merlin sees someone bad headed for his village and Nimue tells him to just hit the bad dude with a lightning bolt. He says he can’t because darkness might overtake him. What’s the point in having magic if you can’t zap people once in a while? For the greater good of course.

Zelena ugly cries about her sister being the favorite and how she’s worried about her baby. Enough to cause Snow concern, but once she gets close, Zelena kicks her across the lawn and escapes.

Merlin takes the grail to a fireplace in the middle of the woods. The fire consumes the grail, Merlin goes hocus pocus and it turns into Excalibur. Some creepy dude comes up behind them and wants the sword. Creepy Dude grabs Nimue and stabs her. She dies in Merlin’s arms.

Merlin tells Emma that Creepy Dude stole the flame that consumed the grail. She’s supposed to take the dagger and ask to communicate with the first dark one. The ancient dark one pops in and it’s not a dude, it’s a dudette. It’s Nimue! Back in the day while Creepy Dude is yapping at Merlin, Nimue (not really dead) steals his heart. (That phrase is always meant literally when used in regard to this show.) Oooh, she crushes it to dust. All righty then. She turns into the first dark one and breaks the sword.

Nimue is like, cool, the first and most recent dark ones, together on stage for the first time. Nimue zaps Merlin. She says any threat must be destroyed and that includes him. She tells Emma she has to kill Merlin. Emma is like no way, and uses the dagger to get the better of Nimue, who says she’ll always be inside Emma & disappears, poof! No smoke though. Merlin explains to Emma that he was able to put the sword in the stone and Nimue’s soul in the dagger.

Regina and the gang head to the round table, where Arthur is messing around with the sword. Regina puts him in freeze frame and says to get the sword. David is worried about a protection spell, but Regina says Arthur has no magic. Cue Zelena, who has Snow captive. Arthur uses the sword to summon Merlin. Merlin and Arthur have a pissing contest with words. Merlin tells Arthur the future is in his hands and to hand over the sword so they can use it for good. Arthur is like nuh-uh, and makes everyone else leave.

Nimue has hooked up with Rumpel, and they encourage Dark Emma to put the sword back together. There is a crowd of minions chanting. Not those little yellow guys, but creepy hooded figures. Dark Emma gets the sword back together using magic chewing gum., but she hears Merlin’s voice telling her not to do it back when she was a little girl. The minions tell her to take the power. She looks the sword over.

Oh good, next week Merida’s back. I’ve never seen Brave, but I kind of missed her.

The Walking Dead

Deanna climbs to a rooftop and watches the Alexandria clean up. She seems pretty freaked out, probably because she really didn’t know the first thing about being a post-apocalyptic leader. She sees Rick running toward the gate with loads and loads of zombies behind him. How she gets to street level as fast as she does, I will never know. Is this a daydream?

Nope. Rick is inside and already giving a lecture. He always has to scold everyone before he gives instructions. He says the others on the quarry mission know what they’re doing and the Alexandrians have to do their part and keep real freaking quiet so the zombies go away. Aaron goes on all about how Rick is a loser, then admits that he – Aaron, not Rick — is the jerk who led the Wolfs to Alexandria. I have no idea what he’s trying to say here. They’re all screw ups?

Jessie is digging graves when Rick tells her they don’t bury killers inside the walls. So they’ll just leave the bodies sit and stink until the zombies finally go away? Not a plan.

A small crowd is gathered by the food supply area. They don’t want to ration because they figure they’re dead anyway. They want to whoop it up on those canned peaches and green beans. Spencer gives them a what-do-you-think-you’re-doing? talk, and makes it okay again.

A few of the Alexandrians are making a memorial wall. Aaron sees Glenn’s name on it, and sees Maggie off and running. She’s gearing up for a rescue mission and Aaron says he’s going to help.

Deanna is pondering her wedding ring. She starts making a plan for a garden and some expansion, but maybe there’s more to it than that. Upstairs, she hears Spencer break a glass. He’s been hitting a bottle of liquor he swiped from the pantry, saying that he deserves it after stopping a run on the food. He blames Deanna for the position they’re in, saying she didn’t know what she was doing and made them into wimps.

Carl asks Ron if he’s seen Enid. He wants Ron’s help to climb over the wall and go find her. Ron says that he told her not to go out there, and he’s not going to let Carl go. I have to agree that now is probably not the best time with 10,000 zombies out there. Carl punches Ron out, but Ron says nyah-nyah, he’s going to tell.

Jessie goes to the door of a house and a zombie scares the ever-lovin’ hell out of all of us. She opens the door and stabs it in the eye. She tells the small group who has gathered, that this is the way it goes now and if they don’t fight, they die. The new normal.

Aaron shows Maggie a way to go under the wall. They go through a sewer tunnel and a couple of sewage zombies come out of nowhere. One almost eats Maggie and Aaron dispatches them. Maggie tells him he should go back because a cut on his head needs stitches, but he’s all like, it’s nothing, pay no attention to that blood dripping down my face.

Shrink turned medical doctor, Denise, is trying to help a bite victim. She has a eureka-I-found-it moment.

Rick can’t get ahold of any of the others who were on the quarry mission. Ron tells Rick about stopping Carl from leaving. Rick wants to check on Carl, and Ron says he’ll watch for the others while Rick is gone. He also wants to learn to shoot and RIck hands him a gun and says, practice now.

Tara asks how the bitten guy is and Denise responds by giving her a big kiss on the mouth, singing It’s the End of the World as We Know It (And I Feel Fine), and saying it sucks. I have no clue what the kiss was all about, if anything, I have even less of a clue about what happened in the infirmary.

Maggie and Aaron get to the end of the pipe where there’s a gate. There are zombies outside, and Aaron wants to chance it, but Maggie makes a stink, drawing the zombies’ attention. She says it’s over and that if she’d gone with Glenn, she might have been able to save him; but if he was alive, she thinks he would have let her know by now. Really? How? I believe he’s dead, but for argument’s sake, if he wasn’t, how is he supposed to call?

Amy’s son, Sam, won’t come downstairs for cookies, so something is definitely wrong. He says that the world didn’t change upstairs. That’s a very poignant point.

Deanna is on her way somewhere with tray of glass bottles, gets a zombie surprise and drops the tray. Picking up a broken bottle, she attacks the zombie like a contestant on Bad Girls Club. Rick comes along and tells her she can stop now and she says she wants to live and learn how to cut a zombie bitch.

Maggie takes Glenn’s name off the wall. Aaron tells her that Aaron can be a girl’s name too, depending on how it’s spelled. Apparently, Maggie is pregnant, but I blinked and missed that part. Spencer gets props for something brave he did and contemplates his new bad assness. Rick says something to Jessie about not wanting to bury the bodies because the others are still out there somewhere and I don’t get the connection. He and Jessie get romantic and I gag.

Deanna is getting awfully close to the fence and taunting the zombies. Bad zombies!

We end with seeing blood dripping down on the inside of one of the walls.

Do the actors on this show go home all depressed or do they just head straight for the bar?

The Real Housewives of Atlanta

Kandi is pregnant. Excitement abounds for the Burusses!

Portia comes by to visit Phaedra, and they’re both wearing outfits from the late 70s. Phaedra says they’re bestest friends now because Portia has been “a rock” for her. More like Portia has rocks in her head and we’ll see how long this lasts. Phaedra says she and Apollo are “cordial,” which I assume means she’s going to divorce him any minute now. Portia is dating a 24-year-old, which is about 10 years older than her age mentally, but there are laws to consider.

Cynthia says since the new opening of whatever venture Peter is getting into now, they only spend 3 days a week together. That’s 3 days a week more than I’d want to spend with him. Some kind of inappropriate something from Peter comes through on Phaedra’s phone.

It’s a video of Peter copping a feel that’s making the rounds. Cynthia tells Peter he’s embarrassing her and he doesn’t care. Did she really think he would? He’s saying it’s not what it looks like (ugh! thanks for being cliché) and tries to end the conversation, but Cynthia isn’t having it. She tells him he needs to think about what he’s done and puts him in time out with a bottle of wine.

Portia’s new squeeze, Duke, has flown in from Buffalo where he plays football. Portia says he’s really into her and wants to get to know her. If she wants to keep him, she probably shouldn’t let that happen. She feeds him chocolate covered strawberries and it’s one of the least romantic things I’ve ever seen. She wants him to meet her parents. Let’s just review, shall we? This is the same woman whose grandfather was a big name in the Civil Rights Movement, but thought the Underground Railroad was a real train. Unless you want to spend endless time pampering a pseudo princess who has no IQ whatsoever, Portia is not for you.

Commercial break. Brooks Ayers interview by Andy. Thursday at 9. Be there or be square. Unless, unlike me, you have a life.

Kenya is showing Cynthia her new home in Atlanta. Sheree Whitfield (is she still using that last name?) is one of her neighbors and back on the show. They drive past her house, which looks like an amazing little castle, but not quite finished. Kenya’s house looks like some kind of dilapidated fortress. She got it at foreclosure and it needs a lot of work. The property is gorgeous though. The Million Dollar Listing guys would definitely call this a tear down. What happened to Gone with the Wind fabulous?

Phaedra says Apollo has a lot of time to get on her nerves – even from prison. Ha-ha! I’ll bet. Kandi and Todd have been storing his stuff. Todd says that Apollo claims to have not seen the kids since he went into the slammer, which isn’t how Phaedra has been presenting things. My guess is that Phaedra makes it up as she goes along. Something is so off about her. She was supposed to release a workout DVD that Todd produced, and so far, no DVD and no paycheck either. Todd wants Kandi to discuss it with her and neither Kandi nor I think that’s appropriate.

Phaedra’s mother kisses her angel daughter’s behind and says everything’s good because it’s peaceful without jerkface Apollo. Mom is pushing her to get a divorce. I don’t know why she hasn’t gotten one already. She checked out of that marriage the second she knew he was going to prison.

Cynthia has a new eyewear line going on, and Portia is hoping to score free shades. She says she likes when a woman has a business to focus on because then she’s not in your business. That’s actually pretty clever, so I figure she read it on a cereal box. Phaedra calls the group “the shady bunch.” I’d never accuse her of not being witty or lacking intelligence, but I’d never, ever trust her with anything.

That weird Marlo chick is there and hoping to score a free pair of sunglasses in every design. Kenya and Marlo are talking about Sheree’s unfinished house, which has been unfinished for 3 years. The neighbors are starting to complain. I laugh, thinking about how long it takes real estate projects to be completed where I live. That’s nothing.

Peter finally shows up. Blech. I just don’t like him. Kenya seems to think he has something on the side. I don’t know about that, but he definitely has himself on the side, and every other angle, since that’s all he cares about. He and Kenya exchange words about his guilty ways. The worst thing about him is how he gets so involved with the gossip like he’s one of the Wives, but I don’t see him holding a peach in the group shots. He also tends to get right in their faces, which is not cool for a man to do.

Everyone’s wondering where Cynthia is, when she makes a grand entrance in a Cleopatra-type outfit and a pair of the glasses. I am a sunglasses freak and totally support this endeavor. Cynthia is looking for Peter (why?).

Sheree makes an appearance. She’s all good friends with Marlo, which makes Phaedra and I wonder what happened, since that wasn’t the case the last time they crossed paths. Kenya asks Sheree what’s up with her house, and tells her that the neighbors have been complaining about how long it’s taking to complete. Again, if that’s really the case, they should live here for a while. They go back and forth, and Cynthia is like, stop it, this night is about me. Sheree gets louder and starts attracting attention. Cynthia tells her, enough already….

And it’s to be continued.

Tootie arrives next week!

November 6, 2015 – Almost Jason, Roswell & Some Returns

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What I Watched Today

(random, rambling thoughts on today’s TV)

General Hospital

It’s almost time and I’m already feeling that let down you get when the party is over and the guests go home. I’ve watched this storyline like some men watch a football game.

Doc is referring Anna to another therapist.

Ava shows up at Paul’s office with a gift for him. A blah-blah-blah, whatever artist it was both he and Tracy were looking for the other night. I’m guessing he’s the big gun she’s going to switch for Scotty. Ric says pretty much nothing to Sonny.

Come on, let’s get to the wedding.

Felix is having to deal with the boys (I mean the real boys) and Epiphany comes to take over. That’s what she’s best at, taking over. Michael says to Sabrrrina he’s glad their baby will have both his parents. Right now Sabrrrina’s wishing she’d never slept with Carrrlos, and I’m hoping with the tiniest hope that he’s not dead. Could happen. Nicholas is looking for Hayden. Michael wonders why he brought such a despicable woman there. Like Nicholas is any better, since he stole Michael’s company.

Jason thinks Carly is out of her mind, but she’s so overwhelmed with feelings, that she’s not really explaining. He says he’s not Jason, and she says yes, he is, and she’s got proof. If that laptop is okay, I want to know what brand it is.

Elizabeth asks Hayden why she’s there. She plays around with Elizabeth a little, saying things like “you know why,” and then says she’s there to wish Elizabeth every happiness.

Patrick hadn’t known Sabrrrina was pregnant. Really? I guess he hasn’t seen her in a while. Patrick wishes her and Michael well. I’d forgotten they were engaged at one point.

Anna doesn’t want to switch shrinks, but Doc says objectivity is key here and Dr. Whatshisname is new. He’s also pretty good looking. It’s Dr. Andre. I thought it might be, but then I thought I misheard because I once had a medical Dr. Andre.

Ava tells Paul that the hearing was moved. Paul says If the governor was involved, he can’t get involved. There goes that idea. Ric says it would be better if Carly came to the hearing. Gee, he might have thought of that before, doncha think?

Carly shows Jake the laptop and shows him his face changing. Not only is the laptop okay, the program works perfectly. He says it’s unsettling, but it must be a glitch in the program. She says she has paperwork, and he gets it from the car. It’s the DNA test and it says right there, JAKE DOE IS JASON MORGAN. For some reason Jason doesn’t want to believe he’s Jason. He says to Carly that Jason is dead and she needs to let him go. He so desperately doesn’t want to be Jason, I would think he knew all along, but I can’t imagine he’d have allowed Spinelli to get involved if he didn’t really want an answer.

Anna tells Dr. Andre about Duke’s death. She tells him she saw a man she has reason to believe is dead, so it must have been a hallucination. She tells him she couldn’t sleep and Doc prescribed anxiety meds.

Nicolas switches places with Hayden in Elizabeth’s dressing room. Elizabeth asks Nicholas why he brought her, and he says he really didn’t want to come by himself. (Um…he could have brought Spencer. Obviously there are kids allowed.) They talk about what good friends they are and all they’ve been through and how many lies they’ve told. Okay, not that last one. He says they deserve some good times.  He says not she has the opportunity to be with NuJason (he actually says “new Jason”) and they hug. Blech. Let me at those rainbows and unicorns.

Hayden runs into Patrick. She tells him her memory seems to be coming back all on its own. Sam who was passing by and couldn’t help but hear, asks if that means Jake’s identity too. Hayden says you never know, and I rub my hands in glee.

Sonny gets Michael on the phone. He hasn’t seen Carly either. Michael decides to help Sonny out and foregoes the wedding. How long do they think the ceremony will take? He tells Sabrrrina to stay and have Carly call him when she gets there.

Carly lists all the similarities between Jake and Jason. She doesn’t understand why he’s fighting it. Jason is pissed because nothing seemed familiar. Carly says everything was familiar. Spinelli thinking it was him, Elizabeth latching on to him, even her own trust in him. (And how about that old lady from the Lucky Buddha or whatever that restaurant was? And Sonny?) Jason says she just feels that way because she loved Jason and lost him. He says his name is Jake (stop it, Jason!). He says if he was Jason, he’d remember and he doesn’t, so, nyah-nyah, he rejects the DNA test. Nice try.

Sonny asks for Morgan to testify too. Ric thinks he’s making a mistake with that one, and I’d like to make a smart remark, but I can barely pay attention. Ava says Paul agreed to help her and owes it to her. He says the only reason she isn’t rotting in prison is because of him. She’s going to leave with the painting, but he says hold on there a minute, and says he’ll give her the strategy to beat Sonny. The painting must be better than I think it is.

Anna tells Dr. Andre that she’s seeing Carrrlos. He asks why and she says isn’t he supposed to tell her that? He says it might have something to do with guilt. She doesn’t get why she’s supposed to feel guilty or at least that’s what she says to the doctor. She says some other nonsense about Duke’s death and loving him.

Carly tells Jason the last thing she thought was that they’d have a fight when she found him. He say did she think they’d go get a beer and relive old times? Carly says he’s been waiting a year for this info so what gives? He’s all la-la-la I refuse to believe it. She says he’s always been true to himself and that he must be scared of something.

Sonny says he’d kill anyone who hurt his children. That’s probably not a good thing to say at the hearing.

The natives are getting restless because Jake and Carly aren’t there. The kids were told that when Hear Comes the Bride plays, the wedding starts, so when that music from Ordinary People starts playing, they go get Elizabeth. She talks to Patrick and is all panicked because Jake isn’t there and she knows damn well he shouldn’t be. Sam texts him, Where are you?

Jason is still screaming at Carly that he’s not Jason. She brings up how he was working for Helena. He says he can’t be Jason because he doesn’t feel it. He says even looking at his face changing on the laptop, he feels nothing. She says DNA doesn’t lie. He says maybe it’s true; he can see it, but he doesn’t feel it. So what is he supposed to do now? Carly tells him he has to cancel the wedding. He’s still married to Sam. Oh boy! Oh boy!

Anna tells the doctor he’s been helpful and she’ll be going now. Not so fast, says Dr. Andre. He knows she’s lying and tells her to come back when she’s ready to be honest, but he’s not refilling her meds. She complains to Doc about Andre on her way out.

I don’t know what Paul told Ava, but she’s happy about it. He tells her that if she wasn’t being so emotional she could have thought of it on her own. He also tells her how beautiful she is. Ava says he can keep the painting and that if all goes well, she’ll have to find another way to repay him. He grabs her, dips and kisses her. As Anna peeks through the door. Shame on you, Anna!

Oddly enough, Carly’s phone has been abandoned at the accident scene, so the 50 people trying to call her get nowhere. Sabrrrina throws a red herring in by saying Carly might be at the courthouse. Epiphany decides to take the boys for ice cream with Felix. Oh, okay, while they’re waiting for the wedding to start? I would think Epiphany would know better than that. Elizabeth knows something is wrong and Carly ain’t at the courthouse. Sam says she just got a text from Jake. I doubt it says that he’s Jason.

He says he’s on his way. Elizabeth says she feels silly, that Jake probably did drop Carly off. Elizabeth is going to make an announcement about the delay, and I’m hoping Hayden has an announcement of her own. Just as Elizabeth says the groom is running late…

…Jason walks in with Carly.

Z Nation

We’re in Roswell. Two people are running down a road and one gets zapped and sliced in pieces by what looks like a beam from an alien spaceship.

Cut to Operation Bite Mark, traveling by Jeep. Something is watching them. They see a zombie chopped in several pieces, moving around (the victim of the spaceship?) and give it mercy. 10K talks about mutilated cattle and how he knows all about aliens from an uncle. Doc suggests he’s been smoking z-weed or needs to. Murphy says if there were aliens, they would have been repulsed by the human race a long time ago. Hey, that’s my theory. Some garbled dialogue comes through the radio and it sounds like, what else? Aliens. They see a Close Encounters type light in the distance that disappears.

Roberta talks about her father being an air force pilot and believing in aliens and he was a no nonsense kind of guy. Murphy isn’t having any, but Doc says that UFOs are more believable than someone flying a jet after the apocalypse. OBM finds a crash site down the road. It’s been there a while and Roberta says it probably crashed when everything went to hell in a hand basket. OBM picks off several zombies that come out of nowhere.

Cool! They drive up to a little fast food place that looks like a spaceship. A guy with a clipboard pops out and asks if they’re here for the visitors. He’s one of a group of “extronauts” who have been invited, not abducted. He says the aliens are coming to save them from the apocalypse, and they must be part of the chosen. He explains that the aliens communicate through one of their group, Bernadette, but they’ve all seen the lights.

He leads them to a small crowd out back. Bernadette emerges and says they’ve been waiting for the strangers to arrive, and among them is the one the aliens have been waiting for, an emissary. In case there’s any doubt, that would be Murphy.

OBM sits down for some food. A guy who introduces himself as Dan Scully, but reminds me of Max Headroom, sits down at their table. He says he was just passing through and these people are all crazy. He says what’s really going on is the aliens aren’t coming because they’re already here and are the ones who caused the zombie virus. Murphy says he’s crazy, and Dan says crazy stays alive. The look on Doc’s face says he agrees with that. Dan suggests they leave before the zombie aliens come back.

Dan leaves and Bernadette joins their table. She says the aliens prefer the term “visitors,” and I wonder if that’s an homage to V. Bernadette wants to take them to an abandoned air force base.

They drive to the base. Bernadette says that the zombies won’t bother her, but apparently they haven’t gotten the memo because OBM have to give mercy to several. Behind a hangar is a landing strip that Bernadette has prepared for the aliens. She tells OBM that the voices told her only to bring the emissary. Roberta asks how long she’s been in contact with them. We go back to the beginning where she was the one running on the road. They take a break in a small office and Bernadette keeps insisting that Doc get some gum from the vending machine. Both Addy and Roberta notice everything is nailed down or magnetized, and Bernadette has put on a seatbelt. As Doc pulls the knob for the gum, the building starts rocking like Dorothy’s house in Wizard of Oz and begins to descend. It’s an elevator.

After reaching the bottom, they follow one of the tunnels, finding something like a mini version of the alien from Alien. Murphy isn’t liking it and OBM shoots at it. 10K gets it in the head. They almost examine the body, but hear a sound like a bomb about to go off and take cover. The zombie alien explodes, and Doc says that he’s wearing paper jumpsuit during the next apocalypse. Everything does seem to be pretty messy.

They go into a room with some kind of interactive hologram thing. Addy knows the program and starts messing with it. Addy stays with the holograms and Doc, hoping to make contact with someone. The others go back to where the alien exploded. Murphy is wondering why everything is mostly in English. Addy says maybe this is based on our old internet. Addy then gets to pictures and info about Bernadette,  the members of OBM, and a whole lot about Murphy.

Bernadette and OBM follow some lights until they get to another zombie alien or alien zombie or whatever these things are. Bernadette is like they come in peace, but no, they don’t. And they’re hard to kill because it’s like they’re wearing armor. Oh thank you. One just grabbed Bernadette. I got tired of her  harping on how wonderful they were.

The others find some alien weapons, and 10K takes one after affirming it works by blowing off a zombie’s head. Roberta, Vasquez and 10K end up back at the runway. The entire city is lit up and Bernadette is in an alien beam. The spaceship comes flying around and puts a spotlight on Murphy. He starts to follow it. 10K shoots at the ship with the weird gun, but it shoots back and he drops the gun. Doc yells to Murphy not to go, that they’re going to probe him and not in a good way. Roberta picks up the gun and gets the saucer. It flies away, and Murphy comes out of his trance. The ship crashes and there are a lot of pretty colored explosions.

They all go to the crash site, and find an alien. They remove its helmet and it’s Dan Scully. This is like Scoobie Doo. You darn kids! Dan says there are no aliens and he was going to tell Bernadette the truth when she got on board. The others were test pilot zombies. He’d been recruited to salvage any technology there, but wanted to bring Bernadette back with him, dragging Murphy into the story just for fun. She’s like, why didn’t you just ask me? Too late, he dies and Roberta has to give him mercy. This was all a pretty complicated way just to get a date, but I have to hand it to him. He had us all going.

Bernadette and Roberta look at the sky, and Bernadette wonders how she’s going to tell the others. Roberta tells her she’ll be okay. She returns and says the aliens told her the human race isn’t ready yet and they need to wait longer. Way to learn a lesson about lying.

Next week, it looks like we’ll get to see Citizen Z again. I hope so. I miss him and Pup.

Master Chef Junior & Grimm

Master Chef Junior is back. It’s fun to see the kinder, gentler Gordon Ramsey. It’s a bit of a blow to the ego though that an 8 year old can cook better than I ever have or will in my finest hour. The judges do their best to make it fun for the kids. This season, it’s Gordon Ramsey, Graham Cracker Elliot and Christina Tosi. They started the kids off with making a burger, all of which were fabulous and made me hungry, and ended with a marshmallow dish. Marshmallows are difficult to cook with, and as sometimes happens, one of the kids cried when their dish didn’t come out as planned. I’d like to add that no matter what it looked like, Christina said it tasted good, and I have no doubt she was telling the truth. This kid wasn’t much older than I was when I decided to bake my father a birthday cake. That part actually went well, but I also decided to ice it when it was still hot. I ended up trying to hold it together with toothpicks. So, there you go, kid. You might have gotten cut tonight, but at least you didn’t have to hold your dessert together with toothpicks.

Grimm is also back, and no one told me. I don’t always pay total attention to this show, but it’s very clever and I love when the characters turn into stuff.

November 5, 2015 — GH & Nothing But the GH

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What I Watched Today

(random, rambling thoughts on today’s TV)

I don’t usually post on Thursday, but this was too good to wait.

General Hospital

Carly can hear Jason, but it’s questionable whether he can hear her. Oh good Lord, she just dropped the phone in a puddle.

Laura helps Nicholas get ready for the wedding, but no way is she going. She says her gift to Elizabeth is her absence so she won’t be tempted to tell Jason his life is a lie. “Isn’t that Juicy?” says Hayden as she walks in. Except Laura called Jason “Jake,” so Hayden doesn’t quite know what’s going on. Maybe.

Hayden said she knew something was off about Elizabeth and Jake/Jason as a couple. Nicholas says Laura is only disconcerted because Jake/Jason is missing his memory. Laura concurs, but her face says otherwise. Hayden lets slip that Jake and Sam broke in. After Hayden leaves, Laura tells Nicholas he left that out and obviously Jake/Jason wants to know who he is.

Dammit! Now Carly’s phone isn’t working. Sam and Jake/Jason chat and he tells her she’s lookin’ good. And she totally is in that blue dress. There seemed to be a spark between them for second.

I can’t take this. Carly gets the bars back on the phone and then trips over a rock. For the love of all that’s holy, just sit in one spot and make that call.

Ric meets with Sonny about the custody case. He says that courts often side with the mother, but he has something that will blindside Ava. Scotty is also meeting with Ava. All they seem to have is Julian as a character witness, which isn’t exactly a glowing recommendation. Ava tells him to go earn his money and find something that they can use. Frankly, if I was the judge, I’d take this kid away from both of them. Okay, I really wouldn’t. I’d give Avery to Ava.

Scotty tells Ava that she should try to compromise with Sonny, and co-parent. Ava says she doesn’t make deals with thugs. Um…Paul anyone? She also doesn’t want Carly playing mommy.

Ric has managed to get the case moved up to this afternoon because he had done some favors. This is a just a wee bit outside of my suspension of disbelief.

Jake/Jason is not liking what’s going on with Carly’s phone. Sam thinks it’s just the crappy phone, but Jake/Jason says no, he thinks it’s more than that. Sam has to agree that there’s something wrong, since Carly is supposed to be in the wedding party. They decide to tell Sonny.

Back at Elizabeth’s, they’re doing the something old, something new thing. She gets a gorgeous pair of blue shoes from Felix, and an amazing vintage purse for the something borrowed from Epiphany. It had been given to Epiphany by her grandmother for her own wedding, which hasn’t happened yet.

Laura tells Nicholas that she’ll be back before the wedding…if there is one. Nicholas says she promised not to say anything, and she says she’s honoring that promise, but she has something to do she should have done months ago. Have a proper send off for Luke? I’m still pretty ticked about that. Not even one flashback.

Ava busts in on Sonny and Ric. Sonny says she’s unfit to go anywhere near Avery. Ava says she’d die before giving Ava to him. He comes close to saying that can be arraged. Jake/Jason and Sam overhear this, and think maybe now is not the best time to interrupt. Jake/Jason decides to go looking for Carly himself.

Elizabeth better stop moving around so much. Her updo looks like it’s coming undone already. Nicholas tries calling her and leaves a message that she might be in for a surprise. Hayden walks in on that too, and Nicholas says he’s going to put a bell on her. Ha-ha! Nicholas is still concerned about Hayden going to the wedding, and she says he needs to start trusting her.

Laura shows up at Elizabeth’s. Elizabeth tries to blow her off, but Laura says it won’t take long. She tells Elizabeth that she knows Jake/Jason is still searching for his identity and Elizabeth needs to be the one to tell him. Laura says she thinks of her as a daughter and wants her to be happy, but no real happiness can ever be based on a lie. Elizabeth acts like the fool she is and says Laura is wrong, everything will be cool. Laura says she’s faced worse things, and that they seem to have a real connection, so she should trust him and tell him the truth. I swear, have I gone through all this just to have Elizabeth do the upset?

Today’s theme is trust. I’ve heard this word like 50 times now.

Sam has called the NSA to trace the last call from Carly. Jake/Jason says he wants to be the one to go, and he’ll be back in time.

Laura tells Elizabeth she needs to tell Jake/Jason the truth before someone else does. Elizabeth panics, thinking Laura means herself, but Laura says it won’t be her. Elizabeth is saved by Patrick showing up and everyone is ready to go. Laura says she has to babysit Spencer, and just stopped by to give well wishes.

Nicholas says if he didn’t trust Hayden, he wouldn’t be bringing her to the wedding. Hayden says maybe he wants to keep an eye on her. Or maybe he just likes her company. He says it’s a mystery. She says she hates mysteries, and always wants to know the end before she finishes the first chapter. She adds that she’s pretty sure she knows how this one is going to end. DUN-DUN-DUNNN!

Sonny tells Ava that by the end of the day, Avery is going to be with him, and Ava will be a stranger. He says the only one Avery is going to call “mommy” is Carly. This sets Ava off like a rocket. A couple of Sonny’s goons hold her back. Oh wait, it’s one goon and Scotty. Scotty hustles Ava out.

At this point, even if it all turns out to be a dream about a snowglobe named Rosebud, I’ll be okay with that. Just let it end.

Elizabeth and crew show up at the church. Everyone is whispering and I don’t know why because no one else is even there yet. Michael and Sabrrrina are there, but that’s the same as no one else. “Jake’s” absence is duly noted, but the groom wouldn’t be there that early anyway, so I don’t know why it was even mentioned.

Patrick and Sam are being mushy when Nicholas shows up with Hayden. Hayden says she’s going to go and sign the guestbook, leaving Patrick, Sam and Nicholas alone to insult each other. Hmm…if Hayden doesn’t remember if she likes weddings, how did she know there was a guest book to sign? I doubt Nicholas gave her a rundown of what goes on.

The wedding dress is everything. Elizabeth talks to herself in the mirror, and who walks in but Hayden, who says she’s remembering things. A huge grin spreads across my face.

The show is almost over, and I know they’re waiting for tomorrow to give us the big guns, but this is good, especially for a Thurzzzday.

Sonny and Ric say blah-blah-blah and nothing I’m interested in because I want to get back to the church. Ric is going to prep Sonny for court. Out in the hall, Scotty chastises Ava for acting crazy. She says no offense, but she needs someone who’s a match for Sonny. Good luck finding that by this afternoon, although that could be a year from now in Port Charles.

Laura calls Nicholas and asks if he’s seen Jake/Jason. Since it’s obvious that Elizabeth didn’t listen, Laura tells Nicholas it’s up to him to stop her. He’s like no way see you later. Why did she even bother with those two?

Elizabeth asks what Hayden is doing there. Hayden tells her she’s Nicholas’s plus one. Elizabeth gets nasty and tells her she should leave. Hayden says she wouldn’t miss this for the world. Me neither.

YEEEEEEEEEEESSSSSSSSS!!! Jake – who in a minute is going to be Jason – finds Carly. He says, “I found you.” Then she says, “I found you too – Jason.” I am thrilled beyond measure because I have no life.

From the previews, it looks like Jason isn’t going to believe Carly at first, but who cares? The words have been spoken and it’s done. Hayden also reaffirms that her memory is coming back. So it looks like Carly gets to tell Jason who he is and Hayden gets to give Elizabeth her comeuppance. Poor Laura. She kind of got left out of this one.

I’m letting it all sink in.

November 4, 2015 — Wrong Loving, GH & Twice the LA

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What I Watched Today

(random, rambling thoughts on today’s TV)

If Loving You Is Wrong — Tuesday

Brad visits Alex in the hospital. The nurse says what a fine, strapping boy the baby is, which helps nothing. Brad brought the baby name box so they can name the baby. God only knows what kind of names he put in there. I’m not even going there.

Brad went there, but he didn’t hit quite as low as I thought he would. He makes her pick one and read it. It says “bastard.” No offense, but that’s a wee bit archaic. Although Brad is kind of archaic. Brad picks one. It’s “son of a bitch,” which he says is even better. He wants to continue to play this game and I don’t know why she doesn’t ring for the nurse. The next one is Randal, and Brad says he’s coming every day until they name the baby, even though he seemed pretty happy with that last one.

He asks if she got his text. She says she saw the pic of the shed. He says it was a video, and he pulls it up on his phone faster than I’ve ever seen anyone get a video going.

Lushion says Pete isn’t ready to be his partner. Pete asks if he needs to prove himself and Lushion says, no, just put some more time in. Pete brings up the tape, and Lushion says that he needs to make the boss think it’s his idea and to quit talking about it. Ben is listening in.

Natalie shames Faun and Joey some more. When she asks if they’re in love, Faun says yes and Joey says no. Ouch! Faun tries to backtrack, but Natalie is too wise for that. She says she got pregnant the same way. Not on a burger place counter, but as a teenager who thought she was in love. Faun is like, can I please go? and Natalie suggests she get the morning after pill. Joey says it was only one time like once isn’t enough.

Randal (the real Randal) gets home from work, and Mama Louise asks if he’s been avoiding her. Um, no, he had to go to work. He tries to make excuses for his own stupid behavior, and to her credit, Louise is having none of it and says she’ll slap him silly if he tries that again. She wants him to admit how wrong he was, and he’s having a really tough time with that. Marcie is listening on the steps, and she looks great for someone who’s been drinking and crying for days. Louise tells Randal that she’s never been that crazy about Marcie, but Marcie’s got an ally now. Randal tries to blame Marcie. Oooh, he says Brad and Marcie “slept with” each other and Louise says “they weren’t sleepin’.” She says he reaped what he sowed by Brad and Marcie doing it in the shed. Whoa. Now she says she wishes she’d had the guts to do the same thing to Randal’s father and make him watch. She says he’s disgusting and she taught him better. She tells him to get it together and goes back to plumping the pillows. Wow. Hang on to this mother…in-law. Now it’s Randal who asks how long she’ll be staying. Hahahahaha! Great scene! Tyler Perry is the best at this stuff.

Travis calls Kelly and she tells him to get lost. There’s a knock at the door and she’s ready to tell him off, but it’s Ramsey. Who’s better looking and seems to have a normal IQ. He says he’s not doing well dealing with his mother’s death. He tells Kelly what a great person she was and that he wishes Kelly had known her. He asks if Travis is her baby daddy and she says no. He says he’s going to sell the house and she suggests Marcie as a realtor, but adds to call first before he goes over there. <snort!>

Ramsey says he never knew his father. He says there’s nothing like that mother/son thing. I’ll take his word for it. He gives her his number to give to Marcie and a hug good-by

Eddie is lurking outside of the minimart where he’s sent Ben to find out about the tape. They figure Pete took it and Eddie tells Ben to toss Pete’s desk. Yeah, that’s where I’d be keeping it. In my desk right where these guys can get it.

Esperanza calls Kelly, and after a lot of girl, oh girl, stuff, Marcie tells her she has the hots for Ramsey. Thought so. And it’s about time she shook that weirdo Travis. Although I do want to find out what’s up with him and his mother.

Oh come on. Pete is dubbing the tape onto a DVD at work. Maybe he is stupid. Esperanza asks what’s up and Pete says he’s working on a case. Esperanza says don’t let the boss catch him, because if it was really a case, they wouldn’t have given it to him. Ben pops up and Esperanza says Pete is working on something top secret. She’s joking around, but I’m sure that made Ben sweat a little. Ben asks Pete out for a beer, and Pete is like, no way, you’re not bullying me into a beer this time.

The doctor doesn’t think Eddie should go back to work. Eddie says that every day he’s not on the street, the doctor leaves his wife and daughter open to being raped. I’m sure this is a veiled threat and the doctor is more than happy to let him go. As he’s leaving, Eddie sees Alex. An old lady in a wheelchair is nearby, and Eddie takes some flowers right out of her hands to give Alex. This is pretty funny, especially the look on the lady’s face. Alex is nursing the baby and Eddie comes in with the flowers. She does not want him there. He says they’re cousins and she says they’re nothing and to get out. He sees the baby’s toes and gets loud and freaky. I guess he didn’t know the baby is Randal’s.

Next week, Eddie confronts Brad about the baby’s parentage, and throws Pete up against a locker. And Randal throws a fit. Nothing new there.

General Hospital

Elizabeth, who I hate with a passion, wakes up to a red rose and sweet letter from Jason, who wants her to make chocolate chip pancakes and marry him today. Because it’s November 6, the day after Halloween. I know I keep harping on this, but where is the consistency here?

Lulu is cleaning up The Haunted Star, when Olivia comes in and says it looks like a bomb went off. Lulu says the only thing that exploded was her marriage.

Kiki wakes up from her drunken, destructive night and Morgan Is there. I guess she doesn’t even realize she caused an accident, because we see Carly unconscious in her car. A friend of mine said she’d better hobble to that wedding and tell everyone about Jason, and I agree.

Jake has a surprise for Elizabeth. Ha! So does someone else – eventually. Jake says he’s going to cook the breakfast. (So what was up with that note?) He slept on the couch last night to bring them good luck. He says everything is going to be perfect today and I LOL.

Michael, in Sonny’s social center hospital room, has been trying to get ahold of Carly, but he’s getting voice mail. Sabrrrina is there, but says she has to jet to help out the bride. Michael tells Sonny that he asked her to marry him, but she turned him down.

Morgan is being uncharacteristically gallant and nursing Kiki’s hangover. He asks if she remembers anything and she says no. Franco comes in and asks Morgan what he did to Kiki.

The ever-present, unwanted Valerie, comes to Dante and Lulu’s apartment looking for Lulu. That will be just great if Lulu decides to come back and finds her there. She tells Dante that Dillon played the DVD on purpose, but it’s really her fault because she should have kept her mouth shut. That’s right, you homewrecker.

Lulu tells Olivia that she should talk to Dante to get the story, but then tells her that Dante cheated on her with Valerie. Olivia is aghast and asks what happens now. My vote is for her to divorce that cretin. Lulu says she doesn’t know. Olivia says she knows Dante loves Lulu with all his heart. Lulu is like, I don’t think so. This probably isn’t what she needs to hear right now. Olivia says it’s probably a bad time to act on her feelings. Lulu says that Dante’s plan was to have her, Rocco and the new baby, and Valerie on the side. Okay, I don’t know about that, and we’ve seen what jumping to conclusions does.

Epiphany shows up at Elizabeth’s house with the bridesmaids, while Carly is screwing with her seatbelt. She can’t get it undone and yells for help.

Sonny can’t figure out how on earth Sabrrrina wouldn’t want to marry such a perfect male specimen as Michael and says it must be because of him.

Franco goes off on Morgan, who for once is only doing the right thing. He says Morgan better be gone by the time he gets back. Kiki obviously doesn’t remember a thing, but says she will eventually. Morgan says it can’t wait. I guess he must know she had an accident, but neglected to check around to see if there was another car involved.  Honestly, I’m too old for this; my heart can’t take it. My mind wanders during the commercial break and I wonder if Spinelli has a warranty on that laptop.

Morgan asks Kiki what the last thing is that she remembers. She tells him that she was at The Haunted Star and throws shade at Darby. Morgan tells her they argued, she left, he went looking for her and found her passed out in her car. He says there’s more and Franco comes back saying some idiot sideswiped his car.

Carly, still stuck in her seatbelt, is trying to reach her phone which is thismuch out of reach.

Jake gets the message from Carly. It’s obvious it’s important he call her back. The girls are all about the wedding, and Elizabeth says how lucky they are. Oh, Epiphany is talking about her gorgeous boyfriend, Milo, so could we have some storyline for her please? Blah-blah-blah about what a great guy Jake/Jason is for marrying someone with three kids.

Michael tells Sonny it has nothing to do with him, and that if anyone put a wrench in things, it might have been Carly. Sonny says he’ll work on Carly, and Michael should work on Sabrrrina. Olivia comes busting in with the news about Dante.

Valerie says she should withdraw from the police academy because she broke the rules. You’re right. And please move to Outer Mongolia where you’re at it. Dante says it’s his fault and puts his hand on Valerie’s shoulder. Of course Lulu picks that moment to come in. What did I say? I make several loud noises and once again startle my dogs who have no concept of soap operas and the angst they can create. Lulu made a great face though. I swear, I don’t know whether to laugh or cry, this is so good, and I love this show so much right now. It’s like everything good in a soap coming together at once. I will say, although I was getting impatient, they knew what they were doing. Except for that November 6 thing.

Michael wants to know what Dante had to say for himself. Olivia says she only talked to Lulu, but it was a very public revelation. Sonny says Dante was supposed to talk to Lulu, and Olivia is like what?!

Lulu says if she wants to talk about her husband, it won’t be with his whore. HA! Oh Lord, Valerie says something about Lulu’s responsibility and that it’s her fault it was all set in motion, and that she needs to recognize her culpability. She needs to leave now. Dante even tells her she needs to leave now. Valerie says what’s more important, her pride or her family? When she leaves, Dante says they were both waiting for Lulu, and that he hates himself for what he did. He says he doesn’t know what’s going to happen with them, and Lulu says neither does she. He wants to sit around and talk about it, but she says it doesn’t seem like her home anymore, it seems like a crime scene.

Franco is going on about his car and I can’t believe he doesn’t have a clue that Kiki might have been driving it. He’s off to call someone, and Kiki asks if she’s the one who wrecked the car. Morgan tells her yes, and she needs to fess up. He says she’s lucky he found her since she had an open bottle of liquor with her, and adds it’s lucky she didn’t hit somebody. She remembers the moment just before the accident.

Carly’s phone is ringing and I make more noises. Oh, now she remembers there are scissors in the glove box. Jake leaves a message and hangs up. She finally gets the phone. FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, CALL HIM BACK NOW!

Commercial break. These kids are eating baked beans and say mom forgot to give them vegetables. Please don’t tell me, that in the age of Google and Bing, that kids don’t know a bean is a vegetable. Please. Toddlers know what a freakin’ bean is.

Olivia says Sonny gave Dante bad advice by telling him he should tell Lulu. What? She says everyone would have been better off if no one had known.  Well yeah, but too many people knew already, so that suggestion is no help whatsoever.

Dante offers to leave, but Lulu says she doesn’t want to stay there. She shoves the wedding invitation at him and says he should go because she doesn’t believe in marriage anymore.

Epiphany is having a game smack down with the kids while everyone gets ready. Felix says she’s doing God’s work, and she tells him don’t forget it when he ties the knot. She doesn’t want to be passed over again for maid of honor, adding, and by Patrick no less. I love her and wish she was on the show more.

Michael and Jake/Jason wonder where Carly is, and come to the stupid conclusion she’s off getting her hair done.

Morgan tells Kiki that crawling into a bottle isn’t the answer. He tells her to get some rest. Is no one going to check the accident site??? Kiki again remembers yelling something at the other driver, but says it’s fuzzy. It’s not that fuzzy. Say something, dammit! Franco goes off on Morgan again and says he doesn’t need to be easing his conscience there. Man, normally I’d agree, but not today.

They’re going to string this out until Friday, aren’t they? Heaving huge sigh. This is just stressful.

Valerie goes back to The Haunted Star looking for Dillon and has a reverie about her and Dante. She starts crying and I couldn’t care less.

There’s a song part (bleh) and montage where Sonny is texting Dante, Lulu is packing her and Rocco’s stuff, Dante is looking pitiful, Kiki is having donuts with Franco, and Carly is trying to call Jake/Jason back.

We end with Jake/Jason picking up the phone and saying, “Carly?”

From tomorrow’s preview, it looks like they’ll be focusing on other characters and slam this thing home on Friday. November 6. The day after Halloween.

Little Women LA – Reunnion Part 2

When we left the women, Michaela has entered the fray. The moderator asks what’s up with the nude pics that Matt sent to her. We flash back to when Terra outed him last season for sexting another women, and Briana insisted that she knew already. Michaela is a married woman and says she was separated at the time. She claims her conscience was bothering her and that’s why she sent the pics to Briana and the other ladies. I believe it if you believe it.

Michaela says she thinks Matt has a fetish issue. Terra says he hit on her first and Matt gets a little nasty. Terra says that Briana had a lot of complaints about Matt’s treatment of her, but Briana now insists that’s not so, she was only mad after a fight.

The moderator asks Matt to set at rest what he does for a living, if anything. He says he saved kids for 9 years, but I don’t know what that means, and he was also a bouncer for what sounds like a pretty dicey place.

Michaela says Briana deserves better. She goes on about Matt having Black and little people fetishes. Matt goes off that his ex-wife and children, and Briana are not fetishes. Exit Michaela.

We flash back to Terra having her baby, Penny, and also clips that show she “hasn’t lost her spunk.” Britney says she’s two different people and not in a good way. She says that Terra feels that she’s the star of the show and wants to be one everywhere. Britney says that Terra likes to start stuff and acts like she’s never wrong. Terra says she has admitted she was wrong and had apologized to Briana for something I can’t remember.

The moderator asks Briana if it’s been a challenge (translation: pita) having a relationship with Matt when her family hasn’t been supportive. She had some kind of get together where her parents didn’t show because she’d only known him a short time, and what was the point. Wow. Briana’s sister joins the group.

Briana’s sister feels like Matt has encouraged Briana to distance herself from the family and that she’s lowered her standards. She says at this point, her parents are willing to meet Matt. Matt says he’s never asked her to not be with her family. The moderator asks if everyone is ready to accept Matt and Tonya said she did when Briana said she was married.

Terra asks if they’re thinking of having children. Since they’re only using the withdrawal method for birth control, I’d say they’re not preventing it. When the moderator asks Briana’s sister if she thinks they should have children, you can hear a pin drop. Jasmine says who cares, Matt gives her a high five and bye-bye Briana’s sister.

The focus goes next to Terra and Christy’s tumultuous friendship. Christy and Terra talk about each other’s lifestyle changes. The moderator asks for Briana’s opinion and she says that she and Christy drifted away from each other. Christy says something about Briana not liking that she and Terra are friends again, but Briana says that’s not the case. We go back to Briana lying about being married. Tonya says that when you hide something, it means you’re unsure of it yourself. Elena, who’s been pretty quiet, says that it was obvious no one liked Matt, so that’s why Briana chose to keep her marriage to herself. I tend to think she didn’t want to get flack from everyone, or it’s possible she thought they’d talk her out of it. Christy says she was hurt that Briana even discussed what kind of wedding she wanted when she was already married.

Now the men join in. We go down Elena’s Memory Lane about her vow renewal ceremony, which was more like the wedding she never had, and how Briana spoiled It a little with her marriage announcement at the bachelorette weekend, taking the attention away from Elena. Elena says that when she watched the episode, she could see that Briana was upset about the vow renewal. Elena asks why she didn’t wait if she wanted all the pomp and circumstance. Briana says she didn’t mean to steal any thunder and Terra’s husband Joe makes blah-blah-blah hand gestures.

On to reliving the couple’s retreat, although why we want to, I don’t know. The moderator asks how the guys feel about Matt calling their ladies “bitches.” Since they’ve shown this clip before every commercial break, I feel like this question has been asked 10 times already. Christy says it’s a misogynist word and I don’t totally get that, since it’s thrown around everywhere these days. I also don’t see why if someone is being called names, they’re not allowed to retaliate, male or female.

The moderator asks for a final opinion from the guys, and everyone is vague except Joe who says he doesn’t know and doesn’t care.

Elena says she learned that her family and friends are more important than circumstances being perfect; Tonya says she learned to be open to new friendships; Jasmine says she needs to be careful who she gets close to, since they’re all so nosey; Briana says she learned not to lie and that the most important thing is sticking by each other in the end; Terra says it’s her first time on the show as a mother, and maybe she shouldn’t be so blunt.

They have a sneak peek of Little Women Atlanta and I wonder what happened to the NYC girls. Atlanta seems like the same show, except feistier with fewer blondes.

Million Dollar Listing: LA

JoshA is checking out a property that, besides the required amazing view, has all kinds of cool built-in lighting. As usual, there’s the argument about the price. The builder/owner wants to go higher than Josh thinks will work. The owner sees the wisdom in what Josh has to say. He’s leaving for Moscow and wants Josh to be his eyes and ears, and be able to call him 24/7, to which Josh agrees.

David is showing James a place that he originally was having built as an investment property, but he and his girlfriend, Adrienne, now want to call it home. It has 23 foot ceilings and is pretty incredible overall. James thinks he should stick to the original plan and sell it. Zoning laws have changed, and this kind of house can no longer be built and is at a premium. I say why not wait. The resale should still be good 10 years from now because there will never be any others built. David says he and Adrienne are emotionally attached to it.

JoshF has a client who wants to downsize. Amazingly, they agree on a price. But she’s not ready to sell it yet. She wants to find a new house first, which I can understand. She gives Josh a laundry list of what she wants in a house, as well as her price range. She says if he finds her the right house, he’s got a sale. It’s both or nothing.

James is meeting with a New York based client. He’s renovating his house and it looks like a movie star house from the 60s. Did James just say $60 million? Yes, he did. The client isn’t interested in selling though, he’s looking to buy commercial space on Sunset. Apparently, this is nearly impossible. He’s looking to spend a load of money too and these brokers will do anything for a sale.

JoshA says the client has been calling him non-stop and the house isn’t even on the market yet. For the brokers’ open house, Josh has brought in models to create living art, scenarios that show how the house can be lived in. There’s everything from a couple in bed (hush and get your mind out of the gutter) to a group doing yoga poses in the backyard. One guy isn’t crazy about the kitchen appliances, but I am.

Madison, from another season, and his client walk in. He and JoshA don’t exactly get along. Both Josh and his fiancé once worked for him. When Josh left to go on his own, Heather stayed behind and Josh says Madison didn’t give her the commissions he was supposed to. Josh thanks Madison because he says if Madison hadn’t ripped Heather off, he wouldn’t have gotten the girl.

Madison said they’re a couple of liars, so they’re perfect for each other. Madison explains something about her contract that I fail to understand. They move on to discussing the house. The client makes an offer to Josh that’s about half a million too low.

JoshF says what his client is looking for is difficult because her list is so long, but he’s riding his unicorn around trying to find it. He’s sending her a bunch of listings so she can get a feel for what’s out there.

James and David are having a double-date. James’s wife asks how the house plans are going and James asks if they’d sell if the price was right. David’s girlfriend says they’re moving in six weeks. James is looking toward the future for them, but Adrienne is like no way, I’m in love with that house. Meh. I’d take the money.

Oooh! David has 2 basset hounds, but also a teeny weeny Chihuahua. I don’t remember him having a Chi. Maybe it belongs to the girlfriend.

JoshA shows his client a house with floor to ceiling windows and a gourmet kitchen and a lot of other things I could only dream about. It’s another house that’s right on the water. The tide comes right up to the patio. She says the neighbors are a little close (they are), and she wants a “dry beach.” Josh says she’ll have to pay for a dry beach. In his individual interview, Josh says he wishes he’d known she wanted a dry beach it would have been nice to know that in the beginning (I agree).

JoshA and Heather are hanging out with their two cute, little, but not Chi, dogs, eating crackers and hummus. Josh tells Heather about Madison and his client. Heather says she’s moved on. Josh seems like he hasn’t, but says a bunch of mature stuff. I’m guessing that Josh and Madison will be arguing soon.

James says he has called every owner on Sunset and he can’t find a property. He decides to take the client to an up and coming area and force him to look. James tells him he’s called 30 owners and no one will sell. The client does not care about any of this. It’s Sunset or no. So James takes him to another place. The client won’t even get out of the car. So James takes him to a third location. The client says it’s great for something else, but not what his specific project is. He says he has a month and if James can’t show him something appropriate, not to show him anything. He also makes noises about bringing in another broker.

JoshA decides there are people in LA that he’d rather have as friends than enemies. He asks James to meet him for dinner. In an earlier episode, Josh created quite a stink at an open house James was having, so James balks. Josh apologizes for his behavior. James practically falls out of his chair.

Next week, Larry Flynt. And it looks like JoshA’s client is going to bring James in as a broker.