What I Watched Today

(random, rambling thoughts on today’s TV)

 

The Real Housewives of Potomac

Karen is going blah-blah-blah to Gizelle about how Gizelle is etiquette challenged. Since Karen hasn’t shown a shred of practicing what she preaches, this is pretty amusing. Karen totters off on her heels. Charrisse is also bummed because Gizelle dared bring a friend she wasn’t acquainted with into her domain.

Gizelle takes Charrisse aside and asks what the blip is up. Charrisse claims to be mad because said friend wanted to help her with her hair, when she’d said she needed help with her hair. Gizelle says they were just joking around, but Charrisse can’t seem to get the stick out of her butt and says she doesn’t joke like that. Gizelle decides to leave. Karen gets re-offended by the hairdressing guy talking to her like she’s a commoner. What is wrong with these women? I’d never heard of Potomac before and as soon as this season is done, I’m going to try and forget it exists again.

Katie’s rabbi is stopping by because she’s going to have a Hebrew naming ceremony for her daughters. He asks her some questions about her Judaism, but I have the feeling she’s similar to what we’d call and A&P Catholic – ashes on Wednesday, palms on Sunday and not much else.

Karen tells her husband she doesn’t think they have any Lipton tea, but he says he’ll check the other kitchen. Her husband Ray’s Aunt Dot is coming over and she’ll have nothing else. Apparently, Karen learned etiquette at Aunt Dot’s knee. Does this mean we have her to blame for this idiocy? The Lipton is found, but unfortunately the tea is not piping hot and Aunt Dot sends it back to be reheated. I don’t think I could take even five minutes with any of these people. Maybe Gizelle.

Gizelle is at some kind of event called “Sip with Socialites.” Maybe I wouldn’t want to be around her either. She is rocking a fabulously casual black and white outfit, complete with hat, so I give her props for that. Katie and Robyn arrive. One of the hosts (Ashley, a wife we haven’t met yet) talks to them about volunteering in schools. Gizelle grills Ashley about her married life and asks if her husband needs Viagra since he’s in his 50s. For the love of God, what planet did these women drop in from? They start to dance and Ashley wants to “booty pop,” prompting Gizelle to comment that she must not have been born in Potomac. At this point, I want to stay as far away from Potomac as possible.

Charrisse takes daughter Skylar to gymnastics practice. She’s glad she doesn’t have to focus on Gizelle and the crab boil. No wonder her husband lives somewhere else. She says she needs friends around her who are supportive. Translation: Friends who think and act exactly like her sorry self.

Gizelle decides to send an invite to Charrisse and Karen for a luncheon to talk over the crab boil incident (Guns N Roses next CD). She says she comes from an affluent African American family and knows all about etiquette. She’s having the letters delivered by chariot, so that should put the kibosh on any question about how well she was brought up.

Ashley was in the running for Miss America and ended up marrying a prominent real estate developer instead. She and husband Michael, who’s Australian, are opening a restaurant geared to Australian cuisine. She did not grow up privileged and this is a new world for her. Both she and her husband seem pretty normal, so maybe I’ve found a cast member I can somewhat relate to in this group. She tells Michael about the idiots women she met at the event and says they did well with whatever charity got the proceeds.

Katie is getting ready for the naming ceremony. Robyn says she grew up with Jewish people and none of them looked like Katie. Not that there’s anything wrong with that. (Man, these girls are ignorant.) Gizelle says she thought Jewish people “ran” like Black people and she had a 45 minute leeway in getting there on time, which is actually pretty funny.

The rabbi is apparently a folk rabbi and brought his guitar. Katie says Andrew tries to make it clear they’re not engaged, but she likes to muddy those waters to avoid competition. What? The ceremony flies by (we really didn’t get to see it at all) and we’re on to refreshments. Robyn asks Katie about being Black and Jewish. Katie says she also grew up bi-racial, so it was a similar deal.  Gizelle makes stupid comments about being the only Black person in a synagogue and being looked at like, “you don’t belong here; this isn’t a fish fry.” Both Gizelle and Robyn talk about being mistaken for white because they’re light skinned, but say when they open their mouths, it removes all doubt. I’m not sure if this is a dig at their own race, since when they open their mouths, that’s not my first thought.

Gizelle arrives at lunch with flowers for the girls. Why didn’t we get to see the chariot? Karen and Charrisse read their letters to each other in the limo. They sound like those Valentines that kids exchange, and of course they have to get snarky about it.

The ladies (using the term more and more loosely) sit down with sour faces. Gizelle brings up the “gift” Karen gave her. Karen says it was a joke and we all know that’s not true. Gizelle doesn’t get why Charrisse is even mad. Charrisse says Gizelle’s friend was rude and inappropriate, and invaded her space. Gizelle points out that Charrisse had asked him to do her hair. True to Housewives form, Charrisse thinks we have short term memory loss and says she never said that, even though we see the clip of her saying it again. Gizelle says not only is the dude a sought after stylist, but he’s a friend of hers.  Karen says the friend practically assaulted her, which borders on insane, and that she’ll be paying for her own lunch rather than be indebted to Gizelle in any way. In her individual interview, Karen says Gizelle hasn’t learned a thing and has no respect for either her or Charrisse. I know I don’t. Charrisse tells Gizelle that the sight of her face repulses her and leaves. The Real Housewives of the OC are more mature than these two.

Gizelle says this is a waste of time and Karen might as well go too. Karen says that Gizelle won’t acknowledge her mistakes. Gizelle says she apologized. They get into a discussion about how Gizelle’s daughters helped her write the letter, and Karen makes nasty comments. Gizelle says she even brought flowers for the ladies and Karen suggests she give them to her daughters since she “pimped them out” to write the letter. I don’t even know what she means by that and how is such a lady of the manor using such a lowbrow phrase? In her individual interview, Karen might as well say that Gizelle will never eat lunch in this town again. Karen strikes me as the type of person who has to talk about how wonderful and influential they are because they’re not. More trash comes out of her mouth and she makes her exit. And what is she wearing??? Not a good look from the back.

Next week, Karen says she’s rarely wrong (what a surprise) and Gizelle calls Ashley a thug. And I never want to hear the word “etiquette” again.

The Real Housewives of Atlanta

Kandi is getting close to baby time and she doesn’t feel prepared. She’s excited, but they don’t even have a name picked out. Todd wants to set up a schedule for baby duty. There’s some discrepancy as to when Todd’s shift should be. Todd wasn’t there for his daughter’s baby years, so his diapering skills need to be honed.

Kim’s stylist, Victoria, comes by. They make chit-chat about the kids for a while. Kim tells Victoria she wants to do a brunch with the ladies. She wants to have a “beatless” brunch, celebrating their natural beauty. She wants help with the space and Victoria says she’ll be back later with a list.

Phaedra and the boys are making a birthday card for Apollo. They’re looking at pictures and come across a Christmas picture where Dillon apparently freaked out during the shooting. At this point, it’s been a year since Apollo went to the pokey.

Kim sends a robocall to everyone as an invite to her brunch.

Kandi says she doesn’t even remember how to give a baby a bath. Carmen suggests she use a nanny. Todd says he’s been googling stuff and knows how to change a Pamper. They’re waiting for a lady from some kind of baby instruction place. When she gets there, the first thing she asks is to see the nursery, which isn’t finished yet.

Kandi says she’s going to try to breastfeed for a few months. The woman says babies nurse until 3 or 4 years and hers is 19 months and asks for it. Both Kandi and Todd are a little taken aback. They do diaper practice. Kandi says that Todd isn’t really having a true experience with a baby that doesn’t move around and pee on you. Yep.  They move on to swaddling.

Cynthia is doing business stuff for the eyewear line. They look over photos from the last event. Cynthia wants to do a commercial and spoke with Kim and Kenya about being involved. Cynthia says their collaboration is perfect, but they just don’t know it yet. She wants to use a beach setting.

Phaedra sees her lawyer. She’s ready to move ahead with the divorce. Apollo’s lawyer has been invited as well. While they’re waiting, they discuss the children, as they need to draft a parenting plan. Phaedra says it’s harder on Aidan because he’s older.

They discuss taking the kids to prison for a visit. Phaedra says that when their doctors think it’s okay for them, she’ll agree, but right now they’re too young. Apollo’s lawyer arrives. Phaedra’s lawyer says they’re ready for the divorce, but they’d like it uncontested and would like to get everything settled as smoothly and quickly as possible.

Porsha, who I totally forgot about, is visiting her makeup artist for a touch up. Porsha is having problems with her phone as she doesn’t know how to work it and can’t be bothered learning. The numbers are good for The Dish, but the production manager says with great numbers comes great responsibility. I literally lol.

Kim is nervous before the brunch, since everyone has such high standards. Cough, cough. Kandi picks up Kenya, who’s wearing makeup. Kandi is wearing concealer because she says her husband and kids are the only ones who see her under eye circles. Phaedra is asked if she’d like to check her lashes at the door, but she declines. And of course Porsha has her usual circus clown look.

Kenya is finding this beatless brunch insulting, something about this being a passive aggressive way to say they wear too much makeup, but I don’t see it that way at all. It ain’t that deep, Kenya.

Sheree and Cynthia are good sports and come au natural. They talk about the trip to Washington DC and joke that Phaedra is going to be Kanye’s running mate. Kenya tells everyone about her non-communication with her mother and how her father and she got closer. The breakfast food looks amazing.

Cynthia talks about the commercial, which is kind of an odd topic for the entire table. She says she’d like to have a creative meeting with Kim and Kenya, and would like to do it in Jamaica. Girls’ trip! Kandi is too close to term to go though.

Kim gives mirror compacts to everyone to remind them of their natural beauty. She also gives them a little notebook and pen and wants them to write a poem about natural beauty. There’s discussion about makeup versus the natural look. Kenya says what about things like wigs and boob jobs? Kenya asks Kim if she really thinks they wear too much makeup. Kim says not at all, but Kenya thought the tone of the invite sounded like she did. Kenya states some kind of reasoning, but it sounds ridiculous. Kim can’t figure out why this should seem like she’s throwing shade. I’m surprised at Kenya. I’ve liked her this season and this is out of left field.

The brunch breaks up. Kenya suggests that she and Kim pitch their ideas for the commercial and Cynthia can decide what their roles will be.

They have a meeting in a cute coffee shop. Kim gets there first. Cynthia calls Kenya, who says she can meet later, but right now, there’s something she has to attend to at the house. Cynthia is a little miffed. Kenya is at the house with some dude named Matt who she’s been dating for a couple of months. They flirt while working on the house.

Kim gives Cynthia her idea for the ad. A couple walking on the beach sans sunglasses, but as soon as they put them on, they’re walking the red carpet. It sounds similar to that ad for Diet Coke with the girl on the airplane. Cynthia loves the idea. She still wants to meet with Kenya and she asks Kim if she sees herself as director or producer. Kim says she usually does both and doesn’t co-direct, which didn’t answer the question, but I have the feeling she doesn’t want Kenya on board at all. I kind of don’t blame her and with Kenya not showing up, she doesn’t seem all that interested anyway.

Cynthia asks if Kim can work with Kenya. Kim says if it’s necessary, she can work with anyone, but she doesn’t want to work in a negative atmosphere. Cynthia says she’s willing to take a risk on both of them because she thinks they both have something to bring to the table. She tells Kim she loved her idea.

Next time, Jamaica! And Nene.