Monthly Archives: March 2016

March 2, 2016 — GH & Twice the Little Women

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What I Watched Today
(rambling, random thoughts & recaps from today’s real time TV watching)

General Hospital

Nathan is home from the hospital. All he wants is peace and quiet, but Nina is there with a surprise welcome. She’s also made up the spare bed for herself.

Sam tells Jason she’s comfortable taking risks and liked living on the edge, but he’s the first person who really made her feel safe.

Sonny is in the chapel, praying for his kids. Dante comes in. He came to see Morgan, but he can’s get in. Sonny tells him what happened with the roof incident. Dante tells him that Ava is going to skate on the gun charges.

Ava says she can’t have a clean slate if Paul still has her confession on the flash-drive and wants him to give it to her. He won’t.

Dr. Mays says several things could be wrong with Tracy. She says she’s been having headaches and has been zoning out. She was wondering if she has epilepsy. Dr. Mays says he doesn’t think so. She says she’s also been forgetful and wonders if it’s early Alzheimers. He isn’t ruling it out, but says he doesn’t think that’s what it is.

Nina says she’s there to help indefinitely. Maxie asks about the magazine, and Nina says they can set up shop there. Nathan says he really doesn’t need all that. Nina sees the stuffed poodle and Maxie explains the dog story. Nina lets fly that their dog’s name was Mittens and Maxie asks if Nathan lied to her.

Dante tells Sonny about the immunity deal. Dante has also caught on to why Sonny claimed he couldn’t walk. He says Sonny didn’t care what anyone was going through as long as he got the best of his enemies. Sonny says the only way he knew how to protect Avery was to lie and he’d do it again. He’d kill to protect his family.

Paul tells Ava that if she was in his position, she wouldn’t hand over the drive. She says he just wants to push her around, and Paul gives her a laundry list of her wrongs. He says she’s avoiding prison because he let her go. She also blames him for Kiki. He says she’s using that as a get out of jail free card. She says he’d understand if had a better relationship with his son.

Dr. Mays says the CAT scan isn’t conclusive, but there are lesions on Tracy’s brain. She asks if it’s cancer and the doctor says they don’t know yet. Nooo! Tracy is one of my favorites. And we’ve lost too many Quartermaines already.

Sam tells Jason that her father was a con artist and the only person there for her was her brother until she found Jason. She says she knew from the start she could trust him and that was a new experience for her. He asks if she can trust him now?

Nina goes to order food. Maxie asks why Nathan lied. Nathan says Mittens died and they got Claudette, but Nina wasn’t there by that time. Maxie says that it will bring up Nina’s coma years,and she’s sensitive to that. He opens the door to ditch the poodle and Obrecht is there with homemade dumplings. She asks what Nathan is doing with that “cloying object” in his hand. I love Obrecht.

Paul says if Ava had the recording she’d stab him in the back and it’s his only leverage. Ava wonders how Dillon would feel about that. Ask him, since he’s right there. Ava leaves and Dillon says that he’s seen all the stuff about Paul in the papers, and congrats on the bust. Paul asks why he’s there. He says he’s looking for Monica. Paul wonders why he looks upset and why he’s looking for Monica.

Dr. Mays says it does no good to speculate. They’ll do an MRI and go from there.

Dante tells Sonny there’s a better way to protect Avery, including him and the police. Sonny says that hasn’t worked so well so far, and he doesn’t trust the law or the courts. He says it’s up to him to protect his family, but he understands Dante has a different perspective and doesn’t love him any less for it. Dante leaves and Sonny talks to God about him. Like God doesn’t know all about it already. Ava comes in to the chapel.

Jason says it was a stupid question, since he doesn’t even trust himself. He says he’s making it up as he goes along. Sam says that’s how life works. If you have a choice between a lie and the truth, try to tell the truth; and if you have a choice between being a bastard and a decent person, go for decency. He asks if it’s that easy and she says no, it’s actually hard. She says she’s learning to trust the person he is now.

Nathan asks Maxie to help Nina get the take-out while he talks to his mother. He asks Obrecht to never bring up the stuffed dog to Maxie or anyone else. He says it’s complicated and has to do with Claudette. Obrecht says it’s a problem then.

Dillon brings Paul to see Tracy. Tracy says she doesn’t need him or anyone else. Dillon says she told the doctor not to share her information with anyone and Tracy says she’ll share what she wants. Paul says, come on, she’s been having seizures and she tells him not to pretend he cares. He says she’s the mother of his children, so he does care. She tells them to sit down, but what they’re going to hear won’t be easy.

Sonny says he doesn’t know what angle Paul is working, but Ava was involved in gun deals and putting Avery at risk. She says Sonny knew he could walk when Dixon had them hostage, when he could have done something. He tells her she’s the reason Dixon was there in the first place and she needs to pay for that. She says she’s already paying with Kiki in the ICU.

Danny comes out with a book for Sam to read to him.

Nina and Maxie get the take-out from the MetroCourt, because there is nowhere else in town to eat. Nina asks Maxie what the business with the poodle was about. Maxie says it has to do with Claudette.

Nathan tells Obrecht what happened at the hospital and how he told her Claudette was his childhood pet. He says he knows Madelyn told her about it, but he wants to explain why it’s a sensitive subject. Not now though, because Dante is at the door. Nathan asks how it’s going with Lulu. Dante fills him in and says it’s amazing what honesty can do. D’oh!

Tracy says she’s been having episodes. She says they’re happening because she stopped taking her medication too abruptly. Dillon says what medication and she says she didn’t want to tell anyone but she was on antidepressants. She says she went on the vacation so she could go on medication in private. When she started feeling better, she stopped the medication abruptly. She says that the problems started afterward but now she has a plan with the doctor to wean her off of them. Tracy says the media might be fawning over Paul, but she knows who he really is. She says she’s tired and would like them to leave. Paul says he’s glad she’s going to be okay.

Ava says even if Kiki lives, she might never be the same. Sonny says they’re all praying she recovers. Ava asks if he thinks God listens to the likes of them and he says he hopes so. The babysitter suddenly shows up with Avery.

Danny has fallen asleep and Jason tucks him in.

Maxie tells Nina about what Nathan said about Claudette. Nina says of course he would have another dog in the many years she was in a coma. She says she’s happy to have a brother who wants to protect her and Maxie is lucky to have him.

Dante leaves and Obrecht tells Nathan not to pay attention to his drivel, that there are some occasions where honesty is best, but this isn’t one of them. She says if Nathan tells Maxie the whole truth, he could lose her.

The babysitter says she has to leave because her mother isn’t well. Ava wonders what she’s going to do now, and thinks of calling Julian. Sonny says or she could leave Avery with her father. Ava asks how she knows Sonny won’t steal her. Sonny says Morgan is in the hospital too and he’s not going anywhere. He says they shouldn’t treat her like a football and should do what’s best for her.

Maxie comes back to Nathan setting up flameless candles. I love those! He says he doesn’t want take-out, all he wants is her.

Paul asks Dillon if he’s all right. Dillon says finding out his father is a hero and Tracy has depression is a lot. Paul says he knows it’s hard to believe, but he cares about both of them

Dr. Mays has scheduled Tracy’s MRI for the morning. She reminds him that everything they discuss is in confidence.

Ava allows Sonny to take Avery until Kiki is better. He is seriously cute with that kid. He tells Avery life is full of surprises and you make the best of it.

Tomorrow, Diane says Morgan could be looking at prison time, there’s good news and bad news, and Nina wants to make a baby.

Little Women: LA

Tonya is sofa shopping with Elena along for the ride. Again we are shown something those of us who are average sized take for granted. We fit on furniture. Tonya talks about Terra defending Jasmine at the party and the subsequent freak out. She says that Terra told her she didn’t need to come to the hospital for Baby Penny’s surgery, but maybe she should have gone anyway. Elena says pretty much the same thing. Tonya says everybody needs help and Terra wants to act like Superwoman. They both feel badly and want to apologize.

Briana and Jasmine are having some retail therapy after the party craziness. Jasmine asks what’s up with Briana and Christy. Briana says although they left things on a cool note, it really wasn’t cool, and their friendship is rocky. She says they left it at Christy saying she loves Briana and they’ll take it a day at a time. Jasmine suggests she and Christy have dinner together, taking a baby step.

It’s moving day for Christy and Todd. Christy is excited because they’ll have a lot more room. Todd makes me laugh when Christy asks where they want the book shelf and he says the real question is where does she want the book shelf?

Christy feels embarrassed and concerned about Todd huffing and puffing. Christy talks about Tonya and Terra being at odds, and thinks they should have a girls cooking night. She thinks making pizza will give them some zen and they’ll realize how petty their beef is. She also talks about Briana and Todd says just try to be a friend. Christy says it’s not the same though.

Elena and Preston are making a video message for her mother-in-law’s birthday. Preston is on camera with Elena directing. She tells him what to say, but it’s so long, I’m sure Preston won’t remember. Elena has an ulterior motive though, and  drops the bombshell that she’s pregnant within the message. Aw, I think Preston is going to make a great dad. Elena wants to go to the doctor to make sure all is well before she tells the other girls.

Elena tells Preston that it’s probably going to be a high risk pregnancy and result in a C-section. He asks if she’s scared and she is, but she’s also excited.

Christy and Briana meet for dinner. Christy says she doesn’t know what to expect, but she’s open to friendship possibilities. Christy says she has to be able to say what she thinks. What she thinks is that Briana needs to get back together with her family. She says she hears their desperation to meet Matt. Briana says when the opportunity arose, it didn’t go well. She says she’d rather discuss their friendship. She says Christy was always her best friend and Christy says she never went anywhere. In her individual interview Christy says she realizes Briana didn’t apologize, but it’s time to move forward. Briana says she wants to know that they’re making progress toward being the friends they used to be.

Jasmine visits Terra. She asks how Penny is. Terra says she’s doing well, but the chaos at the restaurant was a bit much. She says Tonya went through the same surgery and she wanted some comfort from her when she was so scared. She says Elena knew how frightened she was and she didn’t come through either. She’s leaving out the part where she told them not to come though. Jasmine says all Terra has to do is ask if she needs something. They go in to see Penny napping.

Matt and Briana meet with Briana’s ex-husband, Leif. Why? They share custody and Briana asks how the schedule is with him. He says it’s good. Leif seems to want to start an argument over nothing. Briana says it’s the most awkward conversation ever and I agree. Briana tells Leif about her family issues and Matt chimes in with telling Leif how Briana’s step-mother ignored him when they had a chance encounter.

Leif says all families are weird, but they’re there for you. Briana says yeah, if they treat you right. Leif says maybe they should all go to therapy, but Matt says there’s no way he would do that, because he’s a tough guy.

Matt and Briana are walking a pier where a donation bought a spot with her name on it. They go over the lunch with Leif and Briana says she can’t even. Matt says she’s handling things well. Briana says that if she’s going to move forward, she needs more positivity. Christy has invited her to the pizza making thing, so she thinks she got through.

They talk about having a “real” wedding. Briana says the first time around wasn’t what she wanted, so this time she’s having the wedding of her dreams. Matt asks if she’s going to invite her family. She says she doesn’t know and will see how things are going when they make their final list.

It’s time to make pizza! Christy thinks the best way to bond is with food and I tend to agree. Terra is there first and Christy tells her about the dinner with Briana and says she thinks Briana is making an effort. She asks where Terra is at with Tonya. Terra says she doesn’t know and that Tonya wasn’t there for her when she needed her.

Everyone is there and the instructor welcomes them. They all look kind of scared. In her individual interview, Elena points out that Terra didn’t hug her or Tonya, which is unusual. She wants to be friends again, especially since she’s pregnant. Cristy says Terra and the other two have separated themselves, and it’s not the outcome she was hoping for. Tonya says she’d like to apologize but Terra isn’t giving her a chance.

After the fastest pizza cooking ever, they sit down to eat. Tonya apologizes for not being there for Terra with Penny and says she loves both her and Penny. Elena is glad Tonya took the first step, and apologizes as well. Terra starts crying and says she realizes that she did tell them not to come. Elena says after her surgery, she preferred alone time, so she misunderstood.

Terra brings up the party, and Elena says she’d like a fresh start with Jasmine, suggesting lunch. Hugs all around. I see both Briana and Tonya leave the end crust on their pizza. I do that too.

Commercial break. Joe and Terra are having another baby! Another season of Terra’s Little Family begins on March 23. I also recommend Trader Joe’s won ton soup. I’m having it for dinner and it’s better than my local take-out place. How do they get their dumpling dough so thin?

Jasmine and Elena meet for dinner. Jasmine starts off apologizing about not inviting Elena to the moms party. Elena appreciates that, but admits to being too sensitive. Moving on. They talk about their families and Jasmine asks if Elena is holding off having kids. Elena says they’re trying, although now that I look at her, you can tell in her face that she’s pregnant. Jasmine talks about her hair condition and how her husband has seen her at her worst. She says Preston really seems to love Elena and it’s going to be amazing when they have a child.

Christy and Todd are taking a baby CPR class in preparation for adoption. Her mother is taking the class with them as well. Christy is glad to learn CPR for Todd’s sake too, since he has sleep apnea. She says that she couldn’t sleep the night before because he was snoring so loud. Todd says she gets mean about it. She says she’s worried he’s going to stop breathing one day and tells him he needs to lose weight. She says her greatest fear is adopting a baby and then have Todd keel over, especially since she’s been a single mother. She wants him to learn how to take care of himself first before they take care of someone else. She talks to her mother about it outside.

Christy says she’s done and her mother says she’s just speaking out of anger. Christy tells her she can’t take care of Todd and a child. She says he has to lose the weight because he wants to the same way she got sober for herself. She says she feels like food is more important than his wife and he needs an intervention. Her mother tells her to try and be kind.

Preston and Elena go to the OB/GYN. She’s taken two home pregnancy tests, but wants to confirm things. She also wants to know what she faces as a little person. The doctor comes in and says she’s really pregnant and they’re going to take a sonogram. He tells them to brace themselves because he has unexpected news.

Why doesn’t this show have previews for the next week?

Little Women: Atlanta

This is more excruciating than The Real Housewives of Potomac.

Bri and Emily rehash the fight with the twins. Emily thinks the twins feel like they have to prove themselves all the time. She says she already knows they’ll try to say she started it.

The twins think the Cheeks are jealous and threatened by them. They also rehash the fight. Andrea says Emily is ratchet for being pregnant and fighting. She wonders what a pregnant woman is doing twerking and picking fights. I wonder why any woman would do that. Andrea says Emily is always the one starting things. All of the girls are supposed to go out tonight. Why does everyone always want to hang out with people they hate?

The Cheeks meet Monie and Minnie outside the club. Minnie asks what was up with the fight with the twins. She says they all need to get it together. She says they’d better start getting along because in Atlanta everybody knows everybody. Bri says they used to be friends with the twins until their egos became inflated.

Inside, Minnie repeats that she wants them all to get along. And here come the twins. Emily says she’s not going to play nice and immediately says they look dumb. Minnie tells everyone to cool their jets. Emily says if they’re going to be in the same environment, the twins need to control themselves. Andrea (I think) says Emily is the one who needs to control herself. Monie asks if they can agree to disagree. Bri says they should squash it and just have fun.

Wooda (shooda cooda) is at the park with Bri, playing with their son. Since the retreat, Bri has been thinking about their non-relationship. She tells him she’d like to go to counseling to better things between them. Wooda says he’s good and doesn’t need counseling. In her individual interview, Bri says he needs to go for Malik’s sake. They live and parent together and they need better relationship skills. She walks away and Wooda changes his mind and tells her to schedule the appointment.

Minnie is doing Monie’s hair. She says she’s still shocked Minnie lied to her, but she knows Minnie is also embarrassed. Minnie tells Monie she’ll be straight from now on. Monie says she has a friend making a music video, Hubble Bubble, which is apparently a new term for booty. She says there won’t be any pay, but she’d like Minnie to be in the video. Minnie says she wants to lose weight first. How long does she think they have?

Wooda and Bri go to counseling with the pastor and his wife who hosted the retreat. They explain they live together and have a child together, but no relationship. Wooda doesn’t want one, but Bri does. The pastor’s wife asks if Wooda wants a relationship (didn’t we just cover that?) and he says not right now. He also says he sees other people. Bri says there’s a double-standard with that. The pastor asks why she accepts that. She says it’s what she’s used to. The pastor says Wooda might be a great guy, but Bri can do better. His wife say she shouldn’t settle.

The pastor and his wife leave to let them discuss. Bri says they don’t need to be living together anymore and Wooda asks what she wants to do, saying he’ll be supportive of whatever. Yeah, as long as it’s not a normal relationship.

Bri and Malik are going to stay at Emily’s. Bri says it’s times like this she misses her family and wants them to come for a visit. Emily gets a text from Monie about the video and calls her. Monie asks if they’d like to be in the video. They decide to talk later. The Cheeks discuss it, hoping it’s not janky.

Monie and Minnie meet for ice cream. Monie has the bad news that Minnie’s not the right look for the video. Monie says she wasn’t given a specific reason, but we all know it’s the weight. Minnie is bummed, especially since she’s been dieting. Monie says there are girls of all sizes, but they just said she wasn’t a good fit. Minnie starts talking smack about little people in videos being a gimmick, but Monie says she’s trying to make sure that doesn’t happen, and wants to bring Minnie along for discernment.

Bri’s mother and brother are visiting. Her mother is a little person, but her brother, Justin, is average sized. Emily is wearing some seriously distracting blue lipstick. Bri tells her mother about the counseling session and that she moved out afterward. Her mother says she can’t change Wooda, she can only change herself. Justin suggests they get drunk. I don’t blame him. It’s hard to even watch these people sober.

Emily’s boyfriend, Lontel (where are they getting these names?), is going to her ultrasound appointment with her. The doctor points out various things and says the baby looks in proportion, but it’s too early to tell if it’s an average sized or little person. It’s also too early to tell the sex.

Emily says she really wants Lontel around for the baby, because she was a single mom the first time around. The doctor comes back and Emily needs to eat better and her blood pressure is off the chain.

Bri talks to her mom about her non-relationship with Wooda. Her mom says her father was the same way. He would do whatever he felt like and that she’d always still be there. Bri says she grew up with her parents fighting and doesn’t want that for Malik. Her mom says just because they have a child together doesn’t mean they should stay together.

It’s time for the video shoot. Monie says as the casting director, she has to make sure all runs smoothly. Um, I think that’s the production manager’s job. The girls show up and director, Brent, tells them they’re going to be doing a little dancing. Minnie has shown up for support.

Emily asks how the video is going to be promoted and Brent is vague. She asks what the point of the video is and if they’re using little people twerking as a gimmick? Emily says she’s not feeling well, so she’s going to sit it out, but she’s really concerned about her reputation. Such as it is. Backstage, Emily explains they can do whatever they want with the footage and doesn’t want to be exploited. The twins wonder why they’re not getting paid, but Monie said everyone knew that beforehand.

Minnie adds that the whole thing doesn’t seem very professional. Monie tries arguing with her. Minnie says they might as well put on elf costumes. Monie says she needs to make sure the girls aren’t being exploited. She talks to Brent, who says it’s going to look good no matter what.

The set up the first scene which is with Monie alone. Emily thinks the director doesn’t know what he’s doing, having had experience with music videos. Brent continues to call Monie by the wrong name. I’m not sure why, since it’s pronounced “money.” He also calls the Tiny Twins, the Doublemint Twins. The girls start to complain and the director says it’s a wrap.

Monie says he’s been nothing but disrespectful and now he wants to blow them off. Brent says, “I don’t chase, I replace.” Whatever. Minnie is like, hell no, and little people chaos ensues. And lots of shouting. The girls walk out and I’m thinking the scene seemed really contrived.

Next week, another ridiculous party, Monie brings up up Minnie’s lie about Troy again, and Minnie says talking to Monie is like talking to a tree. This show is so profound, I can’t stand it.

March 1, 2016 — GH, Candace’s Condo, & Beverly Hills

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What I Watched Today
(rambling, random thoughts & recaps from today’s real time TV watching)

General Hospital

Alexis and Julian are using their gift certificate. Julian suggests using room service for dinner.

Griffin comes to Tracy’s aid and Hayden makes a call to the family.

Ava tells Franco she’s not confident that Paul can get her out of being arrested for arms trafficking.

Jordan tells Paul she still has quesitons for Ava.

Jason pays attention to Sam and plays with Danny in the Shriners waiting room, totally bumming Elizabeth out. She acts all nice when we all know what’s really going on in her head. Danny has brought a toy truck for Jake. Great choice for a kid who just got hit by a car. Elizabeth and Jason go with Danny to give it to him.

Tracy asks what happened. Hayden tells her she had a seizure and Griffin wants her to go to the hospital to get checked out. She says she thinks she’s dehydrated and asks for some water. Griffin helps her to a chair. Griffin says it might not be anything serious, but she should get checked. Dillon comes in and seconds that.

Franco says that if Ava can’t be there for some reason, he’ll look after Kiki as if she was his own, no matter what. He says he thought she was his daughter for a long time, and the feelings didn’t go away.

Paul asks why Jordan needs to discuss Ava’s immunity deal with her. Jordan says she is the police commissioner and wants to be up to speed. Paul tries calling Ava when Jordan leaves, but she doesn’t have her phone with her. Really? With Kiki in the hospital?

Ava says it surprises her to say it, but Franco has been a great surrogate father for Kiki and she’s happy to have him. Franco says that Paul is good at covering his tracks, and he’ll probably cover hers fine as well. Jordan shows up and asks to talk to Ava.

Jake thanks Danny for the toy truck and again seems like a normal kid. The boys go with Jake to the hospital playroom. Elizabeth tells Jason she finds it strange that Sam brought Danny for a visit. Because thinking about someone other than herself is a foreign concept.

Nicholas sees Sam in the waiting room. They talk about Shriners and how Spencer made the bow ties to drum up donations. Where is Spencer? They talk a little about the wedding. Nicholas asks if there’s an update on Hayden.

Tracy keeps denying she had a seizure, but Griffin and Dillon insist she go to the hospital.

Alexis and Julian peruse the room service menu, but toss it aside for more nookie.

In the hospital, Tracy says this is a waste of time. Griffin says he wants to check her PET and CT scans before she leaves. Tracy says she wants the best neurologist. Griffin says what about the best neurosurgeon? She says she wants someone who’s been working at GH for more than five minutes.

Elizabeth says she’s surprised Sam just showed up. Jason says she didn’t, he called her. Elizabeth asks if he wanted to see her. He says he wanted to see both her and Danny. Elizabeth says she didn’t realize how serious things were already, because she is a clueless self-centered idiot.

Sam’s phone rings and it’s Baxter. She says she’s come into some money and wants to invest it. She makes a date to meet with him in Manhattan. Nicholas says he can’t wait to see what she finds out as Jason looks on from a distance.

Franco sits next to Kiki’s hospital bed and talks to her. He pulls out his phone and tells Kiki a cat story he finds on the internet. Deciding the internet is nothing but crap, he wonders what he can say or do to inspire Kiki to come back.

Jordan tells Ava that Paul told her about their arrangement. Since she’s being vague, we know she’s trying to trick Ava into spilling the beans. Ava asks if Paul told her all of the details. At just the right moment, Paul comes in and says Jordan knows all about the immunity deal. Jordan says Ava was about to tell her the intimate details of their relationship. Ava says she realizes how that sounded, but now that Paul is here, he can do that. Jordan wants to talk to Ava alone, but Paul says Ava needs to tend to Kiki. Jordan leaves and Paul tells Ava she’s welcome.

Franco reads what sounds like an online privacy agreement to Kiki. He wants to bore and annoy her so much, she wakes up. He babbles as only Roger Howarth can do, talking about magic wands, Morgan and Griffin. He asks what he can do to bring her back.

Jason joins Sam with Danny. Jason says he knows Nicholas is her family and she doesn’t talk about cases so he’s not going to talk about Nicholas. It turns out he and Sam are staying at the same hotel, so they leave to put Danny to bed. Elizabeth sees them leave together because she just can’t mind her own business.

Paul says thanks to his efforts, Ava won’t have to serve jail time for their arrangement. She says an arrangement he roped her into. She says he got there just before she told Jordan everything, and she would have protected herself at all costs. They talk about Kiki. Ava says she’d give anything for Kiki to wake up.

Jake is having FaceTime with Franco. Franco asks if he can show Jake’s latest picture to Kiki. Franco asks about Elizabeth and tells Jake she loves him and is the best mom ever. Franco talks to Kiki about Jake getting better and says Kiki is going to get better too.

Hayden waits while Dillon gets a soda. Griffin leaves Tracy’s room and Hayden goes in. Tracy says he went to get the rest results. Tracy says she bets Hayden can’t wait to hear that something is wrong with her. Hayden says it’s not like that and Tracy tells her to go away, calling her Rachel. Dillon overhears and is like, what? Griffin comes back and kicks them both out.

Nicholas talks to Elizabeth in the waiting room. Elizabeth says Sam is going to be part of her life forever because they both have sons with Jason.

At the hotel, Jason hugs Sam and says he’s glad she’s okay. He says he wishes he’d been there and she says she does too.

Griffin brings Dr. Mays (the nasty one who Sonny blew off) to Tracy’s room. Back again, Hayden and Dillon thank Griffin for his help. Tracy insists she didn’t have a seizure. The doctor asks if it’s happened before. She says no, but Dillon beings up her spacing out and Hayden chimes in with what she’s observed. Tracy says she was just having senior moments and she asks Dillon and Hayden to leave. Dillon is afraid she’ll lie to the doctor, but they go.

Julian and Alexis make sweet pillow talk. I don’t have a senior moment, but intentionally space out. Julian says getting a second chance with her was the most important thing that’s ever happened to him and he doesn’t want to blow it. Does that mean he’s going to? Blah-blah-blah Julian has changed and Alexis is sooo happy about that. Bluebirds with ribbons in their mouths fly around the happy couple. Bippity boppity boo.

Dillon tells Hayden that Tracy is just scared and taking it out on her. Hayden says she should probably go, but to keep her posted. Dillon says he thinks there’s something seriously wrong with Tracy and that she’s suffering from delusions. Hayden says she might be having seizures, but she’s sharp as a tack. He asks why she would call Hayden “Rachel.”

Paul says he was happy to get Ava off the hook since the thing with Kiki is enough. Ava says its her fault and Paul says she can help by getting out of the business. He says she has a clean slate now, but she brings up the flash-drive that he has. She asks if she can have it.

Franco calls Elizabeth and tells her about the conversation with Jake. He wants to apologize for thinking he understood what she was going through with her son. He says he’s got a better understanding now that Kiki is in the hospital. He says he doesn’t know what to do to get her to wake up. Elizabeth says the only way to get through it is to get through it. Thanks, Yoda.

Sam says she knew in her gut that Jason could stop the bad guys. Jason asks if it’s because of his past. Sam says yes. He asks if that’s why she trusts him, because of his past life. She says yes. Well, that was kind of a dull ending.

Tomorrow, Sonny says he would kill to protect his family (like we didn’t know that already), Tracy tells Dillon what’s wrong with her, and Jason wants to know if Sam trusts the new him.

The Haves and The Have Nots

Candace’s nosy neighbor calls her son the cop. She keeps seeing Quita circle the block.

Quita and her friend Taylor break into the back door of Candace’s place. How come nosy neighbor didn’t see them go back there? They use the GPS to find Quincy’s phone, which stupidly, no one has gotten rid of. Quita sees a way too clean floor. Quita wants to find her brother, but Taylor says they’d better book.

Jim tells Veronica that he’s going to miss her. She says she can’t say the same. He asks if she’s going home to freshen up, and she tells him to get comfortable in the cell since he’s going to be there for a while.

The cops show up at Candace’s place. They handcuff Quita and Taylor. Quita insists she knows Candace and she was invited there. The cops ask for Candace’s phone number, but Quita doesn’t have it.

Jeffrey, who can’t stay away from trouble, comes by and the neighbor points him out. The cops ask him if he knows Quita and Taylor and he says no. He asks Quita if she knows Jeffrey and says he was driving her car. Quita asks Jeffrey where Quincy is. Justin, nosy neighbor’s son and bad cop, wants to talk to Jeffrey in the house. Ugh! I can’t stand this guy and it makes me nervous when he’s around Jeffrey.

Justin asks what’s up and if there’s drug running out of the house. He says something is going on and he knows it. Jeffrey says he doesn’t know what Justin is talking about and he just came to get keys that he left there. Justin wants him to call Candace, but he says he doesn’t know the number by heart. Justin says they’ll wait then. He tells the other cops to take Quita and Taylor in, and says he and Jeffrey are going to wait for Candace.

Justin acts like he’s king of the castle. He asks if there’s some wine around and tells Jeffrey to find him some. Jeffrey asks if Justin is still on duty. He asks Justin to leave and says he’ll have Candace call him. Surprisingly, Justin says okay. Then he gets a little bananas. He tells Jeffrey that Quita said she’s looking for her brother, Jeffrey had her car, there was blood in the car and his mother told him three men came in and only two came out.

He says he knows something’s going on and if he leaves, he’ll be in investigation mode. He asks if that’s what Jeffrey wants and Jeffrey says no. Justin tells him, good choice, and says to pour a drink for himself too, making me nauseous.

Candace meets Landon at a restaurant. Landon says he wants to go back to Atlanta, but Maggie wants him to stick around. Candace asks him if he’s too exhausted to meet a nice, hot young man. He says never, and she says she has someone she wants him to meet and suggests they go to Landon’s room.

After the fastest downing of a bottle of wine ever, Justin asks if there’s more. He walks around, making Jeffrey and I anxious, and then tells Jeffrey to come upstairs with him. It’s hard to know which character to hate the most on this show, but he’s way up there.

Quita sees Veronica at the jail and tells her not to go to her house. Veronica doesn’t know who she is, but Quita says get her out, and she’ll tell Veronica everything.

David, who is driving like a maniac, keeps trying to call Veronica. Veronica is picking up her belongings at the jail and sees that he called. Veronica says her wig is missing. The guard says there’s no wig on the list. I’m not sure what the big deal is about Veronica’s hair, since it’s actually a good look. She could probably go bald and she’d look good.

David calls Jennifer. He tells her not to let Veronica go home. Jennifer tells him off, saying he’ll sleep with that whore and not her, and hangs up. Veronica asks Jennifer if she’s playing games with her belongings. Jennifer acts clueless and Veronica says it’s an $8000 wig and she’ll be suing. There are cameras out front, but Jennifer won’t let Veronica leave by the back way.Veronica says she’s going to the bathroom first and will show Jennifer the beauty of a natural Black girl.

Justin points out what a nice bed Candace has. He asks what she does for a living and Jeffrey says she’s in law school and other than that, Justin will have to asks her. He asks why Jeffrey thinks Quita was looking for her brother here. Justin says he ran them and Quita is bad news, but Jeffrey isn’t. He says the DUI is the only time he’s been in trouble. He shakes Jeffrey’s hand, but then pulls him into a headlock. Jeffrey wrestles with him and ends up the victor. Jeffrey asks if Justin is done playing games and lets him up. At first, Justin acts like it’s all fun, but then he draws his gun and says if Jeffrey ever does that again, he’ll blow his brains out.

Commercial break. If Loving You Is Wrong is back on March 15.

Jeffrey asks Justin why, since he enjoyed it. Justin says he’s crazy and Jeffrey says maybe they both are. Justin says don’t do it again, and Jeffrey says sorry, maybe it was he wine talking.

Holy! Veronica takes a strip off her slip (who still wears those?) and makes a fantastic hair-do out of it. She tells the driver to take her around to the back of the jail, that she’s not leaving yet.

Candace tells Landon how great the guy is that she’s setting him up with. The’re barely in the room when there’s a knock at the door. It’s a humongous guy with dreadlocks. Landon says that’s not his type. Next, Erica and another thug come in. Candace tells Landon to pay attention and slaps him. She wants to know where Landon got the phony information he showed her about Oscar.

Landon tries to act like he’s Candace’s friend, but she’s not having any. Thug #1 starts moving around. Candace tells Landon he’s so pretty, but they can mess him up so his own mother doesn’t recognize him. He says Oscar gave him the link and wanted him to show it to her. Candace is like, and you didn’t think anything was weird about that? Landon says he thought Oscar was into her. Candace asks if he knows where Oscar is and Landon says no. Candace tells Erica she knows Landon is telling the truth because he just peed himself. Although how that’s any indication of truthfulness, I have no idea. Before she leaves, Candace asks Landon if he’d like Thug #1 to stay, since she did promise him a date. Landon doesn’t answer, but I assume it’s a no.

Justin, who is getting tedious, asks Jeffrey if he has any questions. Jeffrey says no, but then asks what Justin’s story is and where he gets off abusing his authority. Justin says that’s not what he’s doing. Jeffrey says yes it is and there’s no telling what he would have done if Jeffrey hadn’t stopped him. Justin says that’s not the case and Jeffrey asks why he’s there then. Justin says he thinks something isn’t right and he’s going to find out what it is. Jeffery says what’s not right is him, touching him sexually, keeping him here, and hiding behind his badge. Justin says he hates queers and Jeffery suggests he wants to be punished because he’s closeted.

Justin asks if Jeffrey’s a therapist and Jeffrey suggests that Justin is a control freak. He says Justin doesn’t hate him, he wants him. Justin says Jeffrey is sick. Jeffrey says Justin is sick because he won’t admit he’s gay. Jeffrey asks who told him it was wrong and asks if he was punished for it. Jeffrey asks Justin to leave, and when he won’t, Jeffrey touches him a place we don’t see and says, the body doesn’t lie. He suggests Justin get some therapy.

Hanna checks on Quincy Jr. in the hospital and says she’ll be there soon. Kathryn comes home. She asks what the hell happened to the house and Hanna says her son. Kathryn asks where he is and Hanna says the last time she saw him, he was driving away in a new car.

Hanna asks where she’s been. Kathryn asks if it can wait. Hanna says it’s waited too long already and to have enough respect for her to tell her the truth. She asks if there’s something she wants to tell Hanna about Wyatt. Kathryn says, so you saw the news, like Hanna is some kind of dimwit, since I’m sure the headlines are all over the place. Hanna says Wyatt told her. Kathryn says she’s sorry. Hanna says she told Kathryn that protecting Wyatt wasn’t going to be good and that he’ll have to pay for what he’s done. She asks if it was all worth it. Kathryn says Hanna is her only friend and she doesn’t want to lose her too. Hanna says she doesn’t lie to her friends and when she asked Kathryn about the girl who was killed, she didn’t say anything, Kathryn says that’s because Hanna knew and saw right through all of them. She says if Hanna hadn’t been there when Amanda died, she doesn’t know what she would have done.

Hanna says she once saw her uncle steal a TV and tells a story about lying that has a tragic ending. She says her uncle died for a TV he didn’t steal and now she makes sure she has the facts straight. Hanna says Kathryn covered for Wyatt who killed the girl and hit her son. She thought the reason Kathryn paid the hospital bills was because she cared. Kathryn asks why she was there for her cancer, and Hanna says it’s because she’s a child of God. Kathryn says Hanna has her there. Hanna says Kathryn still won’t tell her the truth. Kathryn says it’s still under investigation. She says if Hanna quits, what will she do without her? She says she doesn’t care about a clean house, but Hanna is her friend. Hanna says she lied and Kathryn says she chose her son. Hanna says right now, she’s choosing hers. Kathryn says Wyatt is in trouble and needs Hanna. Hanna says she can’t put this out there and not reap it back. She asks for her check. Kathryn won’t give it to her. Hanna says she needs the money. Kathryn says she gets paid on the first and if she’s not there, Kathryn will mail the check. Hanna says don’t do this to her and Kathryn says she has work to do. I’ve always liked Kathryn, but not right now.

Next week. Quita tells Veronica about Quincy, Jeffrey tells Candace that Justin knows something and Kathryn tries to get Hanna to stay.

Takeaway point: The problem with the rich is that they can buy anything they want, but have to beg for what they need.

The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills

What would Kim’s tagline be if she were part of the cast this season? I’m going to stop with that thought, since even I can’t be that mean.

LisaR’s daughter, Amelia, needs her tonsils out. They’re discussing the things she can eat when she gets out of the hospital. The doctor calls and they go over the procedure. He says he can show them the tonsils when they’re done. The girls go eww! but Lisa says she might want to take a look.

Yolanda is hosting a dinner at Wally’s. And by that, I’m assuming she doesn’t mean Walmart. David is still acting like he’s a supportive husband, and they’re going to have a surprise guest entertainer. Yolanda says that even if you’re chronically ill, it’s important to participate in life. She’s having the party at a restaurant rather than her home to lighten the load.

The ponies are running about at LisaV’s house. She says pretty soon they’re going to be in her bedroom and she already has one stallion in the bedroom. Ha-ha! Kyle drops by. She doesn’t really feel like going to Yolanda’s party after their last encounter and Yolanda’s email, but she feels like if she doesn’t show up, she’ll make it worse. Kyle decides she’s just going to apologize and tell Yolanda she was having a bad day. Lisa asks if she can include her with that one.

Yolanda tells David she feels out of touch. He pretends to be concerned. In the limo, Kyle tells LisaV that she and Kim are inching their way toward fixing things.

Even though Erika worked until 2 am, she’s there with bells on. Kathryn tells Erica that Kyle is fired up over Yolanda’s email. Just as she starts to talk about LisaV, Lisa, Kyle and Ken come in. Yolanda and David follow. Kyle takes Yolanda aside and asks if they can talk about the email later. Yolanda asks if she and LisaV can have tea. Lisa says sure, but she wants Yolanda to know she’d never talk smack about her kids.

I love, love, love LisaV’s magenta highlights or extensions or whatever.

Eileen arrives and feels trepidation at seeing LisaV again. LisaR comes in with husband Harry Hamlin, who the girls are excited to meet. Kathryn tells LisaR about her boxing session with Erika and how they talked about LisaV. Kathryn says LisaV can be persuasive, but LisaR disagrees.

LisaV asks Erika about the web comment. Erika says she meant that Lisa can be influential and uses it sometimes. Erika wonders why Kathryn and LisaV would both ask how long she’s known Yolanda back to back. This actually seems like a normal question you would asks someone you just met, so I’m not getting this. LisaV, reading my mind, says almost the same thing, but Erika says it is a normal question, but she thinks Lisa has other motives in asking. She says she feels like LisaV is trying to discredit her friendship with Yolanda and in her individual interview, says that for some reason Lisa doesn’t like her and Yolanda together. She says her gut tells her Lisa is not her friend.

Eileen sent Kim a birthday text and LisaR asks if it would be weird if she did. The general consensus is yes. Lisa wonders how Harry puts up with her.

Erika confronts Kathryn about repeating what she said to LisaV. Erika says she thought they’d spoken in confidence, so thanks a lot. Kathryn says she wasn’t specific in saying it was just between them. Hmm…. I don’t expect my friends to repeat things that I obviously wouldn’t want repeated. I like Kathryn and I think Erika is wrong about LisaV, but Kathryn is also a big mouth. Once again under the Wives guise of honesty.

LisaR says she thinks Eileen is mad at her. Eileen says she’s not mad, but she doesn’t think it’s nice to question Erika when she knows LisaV can be manipulative. LisaR says she really likes LisaV, but feels loyal to Eileen, so she’s torn.

David invites them into another room. Kyle says David’s surprises are always amazing and for all she knows, he brought Elvis back from the dead. Nope. It’s Andrea Bocelli. I think I have a CD of his somewhere that someone gave to me. He sings Ave Maria, it’s fabulous and everyone is enthralled. Kyle takes this as a sign from her mother that she should check on her sister.

LisaR drives her daughter to the hospital. Amelia is concerned about having IVs in her arm and Lisa says she’s probably more worried than Amelia. She calls Harry from the hospital. Lisa says she’s a worrywart by heart and will create a problem if there isn’t one. My father always said that when there was nothing to worry about, my grandfather would worry about that, so I get this. She says the wait is excruciating. Amelia’s doctor comes out to tell her everything went fine. In today’s hospital here’s-your-hat-what’s-your-hurry fashion, Amelia will be sprung shortly.

Kyle is cooking with her daughter Portia. Even though she’s only 7, Kyle tells Portia that some children live at home until they’re married. Wise at a young age, Portia responds with, “Lovely.” Mauricio comes home and one of the dogs steals a baked potato from the table. Kyle says she can’t count the times Bambi has stolen food.

Kyle has been dabbling in ancestry and she would love to go to Ireland. She also says that she met with Kim and Kim seemed like her old self. I’m not sure how these two things connect. Either because they’re family oriented or she’s thinking of going to Ireland with Kim.We see Bambi swiping something else from the kitchen.

Yolanda, Kathryn and Erika meet in the park for a take-out picnic. They talk about Bocelli. Eileen says the evening was a little weird, and tells them how Kathryn had told everyone what Erika said. Yolanda says that wasn’t cool and Kathryn possibly burned some bridges.

Mohammed comes by LisaV’s massive property. Giggy! He has a little house for the ponies and jokes that it‘s for Ken. Lisa thinks maybe her friendship with Mohammed colors her relationship with Yolanda, and between them, her loyalties would lie with Mohammed.

Eileen says she’s had issues with LisaV lately and feels everyone acts like the issues are resolved, but they just sit there. Yolanda says on a personal level, she and Lisa have never gotten intimate, but that’s okay. Eileen says she likes Lisa, but they’re not the friends she thought they would be. She also thinks LisaR’s reaction to the LisaV smack talk was over the top. What I think is that everyone always says they want to move on, but then they have a hard time letting go.

Kathryn is meeting her sisters for lunch. She has three sisters and says all of them were unplanned. Their mother is in the early stages of dementia and they discuss that.

Kim visits Kyle. Kyle says it’s easy for Kim to pretend things didn’t happen, but not so much for her. They talk about Kim’s birthday. In her individual interview, Kim says she doesn’t want to discard what happened, but wants to have a fresh conversation. Kyle asks why Brandi has to send out a picture to social media every time she and Kim are together. Because she’s a self-centered, thoughtless drunk, that’s why.

Kim says bringing up past things can be detrimental. We see a flashback of the infamous limo scene where Kyle first calls Kim an alcoholic, which Bravo will never, ever let us forget. Kim says if it’s going to affect heir lives, they need to talk about it, but not in public and not at the top of their lungs. Kim says not talking to Kyle was hard.

Erika tells everyone all about how LisaV feels about herself, even though she doesn’t really know her. To be honest, and even though she can do no wrong, I do think Lisa has a hard time apologizing. But I also think this stuff is extremely petty and considering what a good friend she is otherwise, I’d let it slide.

Kyle says she feels like Kim hates her. Kim says she loves her with all her heart, but she does have feelings of resentment. Kyle says every time there’s an altercation, the silence between them gets longer. In her individual interview, Kyle says as much as she hates to say it, a lot depends on Kim’s sobriety.

Next week, the ladies take on Habitat for Humanity, LisaV confronts Erika again about the web comments, and Erika’s husband orders Kathryn to leave (or at least that’s the impression we get from the preview).

February 29, 2016 — GH & the Rules of Vanderpump

Standard

What I Watched Today
(rambling, random thoughts & recaps from today’s real time TV watching)

General Hospital

Nathan is drifting off to sleep when Maxie tells him she loves him. He says, “I love you too, Claudette,” prompting Maxie to asks who the blip that is, but he’s already asleep.

At the MetroCourt, Alexis goes over the events of the wedding with Julian. She adds that the good of being married to him outweighs the bad stuff. Sam comes along to check up on them.

Tracy is reading about Paul’s arms bust on her tablet. Hayden comes along and asks how she’s doing. Tracy says apparently she misjudged someone, meaning Paul. Hayden goes over Tracy’s romantic history and how she ignored ELQ for a long time. Hayden wonders why she’s so interested in the company now.

The doctor at Shriners tells Jason and Elizabeth that Jake is out of surgery. The surgery was successful and the doctor goes over what they did, and also explains some things about Shriners. They’re going to keep Jake overnight, but he should be able to do his therapy in Port Charles.

Alexis tells Sam they have a lot to be grateful for and Julian adds that it could have been worse. Sam asks about Kiki and gives Alexis and Julian a gift certificate for dinner and a night at the hotel. Because no one can ever spend enough time there.

Elizabeth and Jason drum up contributions for Shriners. The boys come in with a surprise for Jake.

Lucas tells Anna that Nathan is going to be okay. She asks about Kiki and he introduces her to Griffin. Anna asks if they’ve met before, but he doesn’t think so. He says Kiki is critical but stable and the prognosis is wait and see. He keeps looking at her in a strange way.

Felicia comes running in. She talks with Anna while Griffin walks away looking perplexed.

Nathan is awake. Maxie tells him that he was talking in his sleep. She asks who Claudette is.

Felicia muses over them thinking the bad guy, Paul, is now the good guy. Anna says that might not necessarily be the case.

Nathan says Claudette was his dog when he was a kid. He asks Maxie if she’s jealous and she says no, it’s sweet, but kind of odd. Nathan says it’s probably the pain killers. She also thinks Claudette is a weird name for a dog, but he says not a French poodle. I don’t think it’s weird for any dog. I like when dogs have human names. Felicia drops by. Actually, I have a dog named Felicia. She’s not named after this Felicia, but after Felicia from Priscilla, Queen of the Desert. See, Maxie? Not all that weird.

Anna goes to the chapel and Andre comes in.

Nicholas is with the boys and they tell Elizabeth the surprise is from Spencer. Nicholas explains that Spencer had wanted to open a lemonade stand, but realized it’s not very profitable in the wintertime. So instead he manufactured and sold the bow ties the boys have on and cleaned up, along with Nicholas adding a few zeros. They talk about Shriners again and Elizabeth takes the boys to visit Jake.

Jason tells Nicholas thanks, but it isn’t going to change anything regarding the lawsuit.

Alexis asks if Jason knows what happened. Sam says she doesn’t think so, because he’s been wrapped up with Jake’s surgery.

Hayden asks why Tracy is interested in running ELQ. Tracy says perhaps her family legacy has something to do with it. Hayden says Tracy left Port Charles for years and tried to shake her family. Tracy says her father was a samurai at business and could make the person who invented tough love cry. Hayden says the apple didn’t fall far from the tree. Tracy says her father was still her father, and is the reason she’s so involved, but Hayden wouldn’t understand considering how her father is. Hayden says Tracy doesn’t know squat about it and tells her to be careful; her next words could determine her future.

Hayden says Tracy might have read about Hayden’s family, but she doesn’t know any more than the reporters did. She said her father was no saint, but there was more to him than his worst day. Tracy apologizes, knowing what people thought of her own father. They agree their relationships with their fathers were complex and complicated. Tracy says they’re here to talk about the other man in Hayden’s life — Nicholas.

Jason tells Nicholas not to get comfortable with ELQ being his. Elizabeth comes in and reminds them why they’re at the hospital. Jason goes in to visit Jake.

Felicia tells Nathan better to go after the bad guys when you’re armed. Maxie says it’s her fault for telling him to take off his gun because it ruined the line of his tux. Felicia suggests they talk to Lucas and she and Maxie leave.

Andre sits with Anna. She says she has to reevaluate what she knows about Paul now. She says she hasn’t processed the turn of events yet and is going to concentrate on finding Carrrlos. When that’s done, she’ll get justice for Duke. Andre asks her what happens after that, and she says she goes to prison.

Anna says she should pay for the crime of shooting Carrrlos. Andre asks why. Anna says it must be difficult for him, Anna being his patient and him dating Jordan. He says he’s been doing his job for a while and part of it is keeping secrets. He asks what bringing Duke to justice means for her and will she be able to move on once it’s done.

Jason comes in to Jake’s room where the boys are signing his cast. They talk about playing baseball and Jake seems like a normal kid for once.

Elizabeth thanks Nicholas. He says he’s always there for her and her sons and she can stay at Windemere for as long as she likes. Elizabeth says she kind of hates his wife, and right now she wants to focus on Jake and getting him to open up about his years with Helena, which no one has really addressed. Yeah, perhaps they should do that before he has children of his own and locks them in the basement.

Elizabeth asks about the wedding. Nicholas tells the story and Jake walks in. He asks about Sam. Nicholas says she’s fine, but Jason wants to call her.

And he does. Sam confirms she’s fine and will fill him in later. He says Jake is doing well, and asks if Danny could come for a visit.

Felicia says she just wanted to get Maxie alone and asks how Nathan is. Maxie tells her about Claudette the poodle. Maxie says him having a French poodle doesn’t make sense. Really? We just got done with an episode where he’d explained that he grew up privileged and has two tuxedos. Maxie tells Felicia about finding the glove in his jacket pocket. Felicia says Nathan loves her and never gave her a reason not to trust him. Maxie says Dante never gave Lulu a reason not to trust him either.

Hayden tells Tracy that Nicholas took to the boys to see Jake and maybe he’s not as ruthless as they thought. As Julian and Alexis are leaving, Tracy says there goes the happy couple, and that she bets that’s a wedding Hayden wishes she hadn’t gone to. Hayden says it was a great wedding until it wasn’t.

Anna says she doesn’t know where her life is going at this point. Andre wonders how her family would feel if she went to prison. She says how often does she see them anyway? Andre asks if she wants to go to jail. She says at this point in her life she has no reason to be free. Andre tells her she needs to get some sleep. I think she needs some antidepressants. She tells him he’s right and he should charge her. He says he’ll listen to her problems and feelings, but won’t tolerate her running herself down. He tells her everyone is allowed to be weak and have regrets. He says she’s feeling her humanity and he hates to break it to her, but she is human.

Nathan tells Maxie he doesn’t want her to doubt his love. Felicia comes in with a stuffed poodle.

Julian and Alexis introduce themselves to Griffin and ask how Kiki is. He says she’s holding her own. He says she has a long road ahead and they don’t know the repercussions of her injuries yet.

Tracy says the gunfire must have brought back Hayden’s getting shot. Tracy says it must have been traumatic. Hayden wonders if Tracy isn’t as ruthless as she seems. Tracy says she has a reputation to uphold, but starts to space out again, making me wonder what the blip is happening with her.

Ava is in with Kiki, who is only allowed on visitor at a time. Alexis suggests she and Julian use the gift certificate. Like moths to a flame, they head for the MetroCourt.

Felicia asks if Nathan is going to name the poodle Claudette Junior? I’m not sure if she just thinks the whole thing is funny or she’s trying to accuse him of something. Felicia suggests they look into getting Nathan released. When they’re gone, Nathan tells the poodle not to look at him that way

Nicholas goes in to visit Jake and Sam shows up at Shriners. Jake wants to stay at Windemere, so that settles that.

Andre tells Anna to call him if she needs him. He says a lot of people care about her and it would be a shame if they were forced to be without her.

Tracy starts to have a seizure and Hayden calls for help

Tomorrow, Jordan wants to talk to Hayden, Elizabeth realizes how serious Jason and Sam are (sigh — how dim is this woman?) and Hayden yells for someone to call 911.

Vanderpump Rules

Hahahahaha! James got the boot from PUMP. I know it was last week, but I just had to laugh again.

Scheana says the best day to be at SUR is payday. IMO, that’s the best day to be at any job. Katie tells Scheana about being upset about Ariana faking having fun with them. For whatever reason, Schwartz was unsupportive, so Katie sent him many drunk texts saying she’s sorry she ever met him. Right now, he’s not talking to her.

Katie says Ariana is being icy and condescending. Lisa comes in and asks if the girls are working tonight. They aren’t, but they stick around and tell Lisa about the Palm Springs trip. Lisa is concerned that Katie won’t stand her ground with Stassi, but I think Katie has that down at this point. She and Scheana haven’t told anyone that they’re going to show up, since Katie doesn’t want Stassi to have some speech prepared.

Jax and Schwartz are helping Peter babysit his girlfriend’s son. They start with having a drink. Schwartz talks about Katie’s rage texts. He says he knows it’s the alcohol, but it still hurts. He says Katie is the Shakespeare of rage texting and it‘s brutal poetry, which is kind of poetic itself.

Sarah and her son, Liam, arrive at Peter’s place. Liam immediately wants to know who is going to play the princess. Schwartz gets the crown. Sarah gives them a list of rules, but Schwartz says all bets are off once she leaves. He thinks babysitting is awesome because you get to be a kid again. Obviously he’s never been a full time babysitter. Although it is fun playing with the new Christmas toys.

Rachel, Kristen and Stassi arrive at the Palm Springs house. Kristen says it belongs to Rachel’s parents, and since they’re away, the girls are going to act like teenagers whose parents are gone. How this is different from the way any of them normally act, I’m not sure. Stassi says she used to be the one who decided who was going on a trip or not, and now she’s the one people stay home to avoid. I know someone like that IRL and I’m surprised Stassi actually gets it.

No surprise, they start drinking immediately. Palm trees, old people and unbearable desert heat is how Stassi describes it. James texts Kristen and the other two tell her to block him. Stassi says Kristen has gone beyond bad boys and on to losers.

Lala asks James what’s up with the date he brought to the beach. Since she popped in from nowhere, it was obvious it was to make Kristen jealous.James says he didn’t want to be the only one showing up alone. Lala suggests he invite Kristen to dinner and actually talk to her instead of acting like he’s 12. Good luck with that.

Tom says he has a lot on his plate. Jax suggests he’s separating himself from everyone. Tom says he’s been a good friend and it seems like Jax is talking a lot of smack about him. Tom says Jax exaggerates things, and wants to make Tom look bad, because he gets jealous when his friends get ahead and he’s out of the limelight. Jax thinks Ariana is causing Tom to be more negative. Tom tells him that he’s low man on the friend totem pole at this point.

Kristen rehashes the beach. Stassi says it seems like every week that she’s missing big events in Katie’s life. She says, miss enough of them, and you realize you’re no longer a friend. Well, yeah, you didn’t want to be her friend. That’s how this started, remember?

Katie and Scheana ring the bell. Katie says it’s Stassi’s chance to admit everything she’s done wrong and if she doesn’t, it’s a problem. Everyone is shocked to see them and I laugh at the expression on Stassi’s face. She looks constipated and pained.

Katie says they were invited, but she’s here to talk to “this one,” meaning Stassi. Stassi starts crying immediately, since she knows she’s doomed, and Katie says let’s talk in the other room. Scheana says they’ve booked a hotel room just in case.

Katie says she did nothing to warrant what Stassi did. Stassi says Katie going to Scheana’s party when she thought Scheana was involved with the sex tape debacle was hurtful. Katie says everything isn’t always about Stassi and that she‘d put her life on hold for her, and that’s not how friendship works. Stassi says she gets that now and realizes how many selfish decisions she made.

Katie says friends aren’t disposable. She says she was an amazing friend and it was shameful that Stassi could never admit when she was wrong and ultimately dumped her as a friend. Stassi says when she felt hurt, she would cut people off rather than let them hurt her again. Katie tells her it’s too little too late. Stassi starts crying again and Katie says she doesn’t have time to go through something like that again and she’d be a fool if she did.

Jax and Tom are bartending. Schwartz comes in for a beer and Lisa asks what’s up. He tells her about the Katie/Ariana disagreement and the texts that resulted. Lisa says sometimes you just have to listen. She thinks Katie gets frustrated because she feels Schwartz isn’t on her side. She says with Ken, even when she’s wrong, she’s right with him. She tells Schwartz, better to be wrong and happy than right and sleeping on the couch. I think this is a problem in general that most guys don’t grasp and Lisa is lucky that Ken gets it.

Jax is worried that everyone will become friends with Stassi again and ditch him. Because everything is always about him. He says he’d like to be a fly on the wall in Palm Springs. I’d like him to be a fly on the wall so I can swat him.

Stassi says she missed out on a lot and she knows what a good friend Katie was. She says she’s sorry for everything. Katie thanks her for apologizing. She says she’s waited a long time for it. In her individual interview, she says she doesn’t think she’s ever heard Stassi admit she’s wrong about anything, and that taking responsibility goes a long way with her. Me too. She tells Stassi she’s welcome to the engagement party. They hug. Hopefully, Stassi is being truthful and Katie isn’t getting sucked into anything. Although I don’t think she’d let that happen again.

Katie and Stassi rejoin the group. Scheana says whatever Katie wants to do is cool, although the room is paid for. Stassi says she ordered some male strippers. Kristen is all happy because it’s like the old days. Scheana calls the hotel to tell them they’re not coming.

First thing in the morning, Kristen asks if Scheana would like a cocktail. She says no until Kristen starts talking about Ariana and what she said about Rachel. Scheana says that Ariana knows what she and Shay have been going through, but acts like a bitch to her and not Shay.

Ariana tells Lala that guys who want to look at your boobs are the lousiest tippers. Interesting. She tells Lisa that she’s glad to be working this weekend and have a break from the other girls. She doesn’t want a complicated dynamic, but Lisa says sometimes you have to deal with that when you have friends.

Scheana tells Katie that she feels badly because Katie doesn’t look at her like a best friend anymore. Lisa says that she saw the strength of Arina and Scheana’s friendship and that it’s a shame to let it go. She suggests maybe Ariana needs to put more effort into her friendships, and she should talk to Scheana. Ariana says Scheana is like a different person.

Katie compares what’s going on with Scheana and Ariana to her and Stassi. She talks about her texts to Schwartz. She says the weekend has been all about forgiveness, but she’s not sure where she stands with him right now.

What it looks like to me is that this group just doesn’t get that sometimes dynamics change among friends, especially when one of them has things to do other than drink and hang out. Again I wonder if this is a west coast thing. I left home at 18 and don’t remember any of my friends acting this ridiculous when I was younger. Although maybe that’s because we all actually had lives.

Katie says it seems surreal, since she didn’t think she and Stassi would be friends again. Stassi thanks her for her forgiveness. She also says she’s aware things take time and doesn’t want to overstep her bounds. Katie says she does still have reservations and she’s going to be cautious. She wants them both to be real and get to know each other again. Stassi says Katie can ask her anything.

Kristen says she’s as desperate as Stassi and she’d like to delete the past two years and have everyone be friends again. Stassi says the weekend was pretty intense.

James meets his mom, Jacquie, at a restaurant. He tells her about being fired from PUMP and how he went into work drunk. He says he realizes he let both her and Lisa down. He says Kristen came in and things escalated. Jacquie asks if Kristen hadn’t been there, would James have gotten fired? James says yes, it would have happened eventually and that it wasn’t Kristen’s fault. Jacquie says she never sees Kristen without a drink in her hand, and James says she’s a fine one to talk. Jacquie is like, hold on there, don’t be comparing your mother to Kristen. In his individual interview, James says that his mom and Kristen are very much alike.

He tells Jacquie about inviting Kristen to dinner. He says he has a plan to quit alcohol, get ripped in a different way at the gym, get his job back and be a success. A sure fire way to go back to drinking. Over-extend yourself.

Katie comes home. Schwartz asks if he smells Stassi. Ha-ha! Katie tells him about Stassi crying and says she also had time to think about her texts to him. He asks if he can still pawn the ring. Schwartz is a real comedian tonight. Schwartz wonders if there isn’t a nugget of truth though, and maybe she has some doubts. Katie wants him to have her back. She says she felt unheard and misunderstood. She says she felt that he was taking someone else’s side. He says he does’t look at it that way, but he gets that if she feels hurt, he needs to be supportive.

Next week sounds like a doozie. James tells Kristen she broke his heart; Tom films his video; Jax isn’t ready for marriage, but Brittany is; Katie wants the engagement party at SUR, but Lisa doesn’t want Stassi there; and Jax’s possible jail sentence still hangs over his head. Whew!