What I Watched Today
(rambling, random thoughts & recaps from today’s real time TV watching)

General Hospital 

Scene replay of Griff seeing Nathan propose to Maxie. Maxie says last time she thought Nathan was proposing, she was wrong and looked like a fool. He says she’s never looked anything except beautiful and this time it’s real.

Nina tells Franco she had a discussion with her brother and she came to a decision about the two of them. Franco is like, great! but she tells him don’t say that yet.

Kristina calls out Max for spying on her. He says both Sonny and he are concerned about her. She asks if he told Sonny everything. Max says he left out certain specifics and just gave him a general report, adding that she shouldn’t underestimate Sonny. Kristina thanks him. Sonny comes in and says he wants to talk to Kristina about her future.

Sam comes over to Alexis’s house. Alexis shows her the headline about Carrrlos being apprehended.

Carrrlos tells Julian to bring a lawyer when he comes. A good one.

Anna tells Paul it will be interesting to see what Carrrlos’s lawyer says. Paul says take the deal and rat out Julian. Jordan joins them and tells Paul that she’s busting him.

Franco says he loves Nina. She says when Dr. Lee told her that she can never conceive, she was heartbroken, but he looked relieved. She says she’s sorry for jumping on him, but her mother took away 20 years of her life and her baby, and made sure she’d never have another one. She says she’s not going to lose again and she’s not walking away from him.

Maxie tells Nathan…nothing. She calls over to Griff and introduces Nathan to him. Griff stammers and shakes Nathan’s hand. I’m intrigued. Who is Nathan to him?

Kristina says her future by definition is up to her. Sonny says since she was suspended form school, she needs something to occupy her time. He wants her to be his office assistant and says she’ll be financially contributing to her own education as well, and be more likely to take it seriously. Kristina says Alexis would never allow her to work for Sonny, but Sonny says it’s just the opposite, that she’s encouraging it.

Paul tells Jordan that coming after him might have an adverse affect on her career. She asks if that’s a threat. He says that obviously Anna is out of sorts because Sonny caught Carrrlos instead of her, and Jordan should take some time off to decompress. Jordan says he aided and abetted Carrrlos and he’s going to jail right behind him.

Julian says he’ll see to it that Carrrlos has the best attorney. Carrrlos tells him he’s only ever cared about himself and tells him about the deal. Julian tells him not to take it and Carrrlos says he has no desire to help Paul, but if Julian can’t get him out, he might have to take the deal. He says the lawyer better care as much about saving him as Julian cares about himself.

Alexis says Julian thought Carrrlos would never come back and she can just imagine what he’s telling the police right now. Sam asks what she’s going to do.

Franco says that’s not what he expected. Nina says she’s not dumping him, but reserves dumping rights. She says Nathan pointed out he cognitive dissidence of her not being forthcoming about everything. Franco translates that to mean that she went to the doctor behind his back. He adds that he’s going to have words with Nathan, because nobody talks to his girlfriend like that.

Griff says he has to get back to the hospital. Maxie tells Nathan that Griff’s father is Duke. Nathan says he didn’t know that and Griff says Duke didn’t either. Nathan hopes Carrrlos’s capture will give him some peace. Griff isn’t sure what he means by that, and Maxie says no matter what, someone is going to have Carrrlos’s head.

Sonny says if Kristina works for him, she’ll get to know him better. He wants them to have an open and honest relationship. Kristina says she does too and there’s something he needs to know.

Alexis tells Sam she loves Julian, but he chose to live a different life. She says now he’s changed his ways and she’d hate to see him paying for what’s in the past. Sam says there’s a difference between love and support, and if Julian gets slammed, it’s because of his choices not hers. Alexis says it’s her choice to stay by his side.

Julian comes in and says he wants to talk to Alexis, so Sam leaves. Julian tells her everything they’ve feared has come to pass.

Paul says he had nothing to do with Carrrlos’s escape and Jordan has no proof. Au contraire, she says; she has proof about the body that was fished from the river. Paul says if that’s all she has, she’d better start cleaning out her desk because Lomax is going to have her head. Anna says it’s not all she has, Jordan has her. D’oh!

Nina says Nathan is the reason she came back. He’s not crazy about Franco’s past transgressions, but knows how happy he makes Nina. She says she wanted love, a career and a baby, but two out of three isn’t bad. She says she needed to take a couple steps back to realize she has Franco and that should be enough. He says he’ll make it his life work to show her that just the two of them can be fulfilling. Nina says let’s blow this joint.

Griff leaves. Nathan thinks something is off about him. He tells Maxie that she left him hanging. She says she was in the middle of discussing something with Griff. He says he’d like an answer, but Maxie looks for the waitress. He tells her if she doesn’t want to marry him, he understands. She says the proposal seems less about her than about Nathan getting over his ex-wife.

Max interrupts and says Griff is there to see Sonny. Kristina takes the opportunity to jet and says all she wanted to say is that she likes tea better than coffee. Griff asks Sonny what his intentions are for Carrrlos.

Julian tells Alexis he was putting off telling her about Carrrlos. He didn’t want her to feel obligated to stay. She says she’s staying. Julian tells her there’s a deal on the table. Alexis says she’ll start preparing his defense. He says Carrrlos isn’t taking the deal because his lawyer is going to convince him not to. Alexis asks what lawyer that is, and Julian says her.

Anna says she can back everything up and tells Jordan that Paul murdered Sloane.

Sam meets Kristina in the park. Kristina tells her about the job with Sonny and tells her it’s mom approved. Sam agrees that it will be a good bonding experience. Kristina says unless Sonny finds out Parker is a woman.

Sonny says if he had his way Carrrlos wouldn’t be in custody. Griff says he’ll answer for what he did to Duke and appreciates that Sonny didn’t just bump him off. He says he doesn’t want any more blood spilled in his father’s name. He asks Sonny what happens if Carrrlos goes free.

Paul acts all shocked that Anna would accuse him of killing a federal agent. Jordan says there’s no motive for killing Sloane and Anna tells her about Paul’s daughter. Anna says Carrrlos saw it and that’s why he had leverage over Paul.

Julian says he never wanted to pull Alexis in, but it happened. Yep, just like that out of the blue.

Nina suggests a vacation somewhere tropical and private. She’s already booked it. Franco says he’s all for spontaneity if the timing is right. Nina says it’s perfect, but Franco says what about Kiki? He tells Nina she was released and he doesn’t think she should be alone. Nina says Kiki has a capable mother and she’s not a kid anymore. Franco says she’s his kid. Nina says she gets it now. He doesn’t want a kid with her because he already has one and one is enough.

Maxie says how can she not connect the dots? Nathan says she’s right. It is about Claudette, but not in the way she thinks. He says he’s been thinking about the time he wasted with Claudette and how it’s different with Maxie, and that they’re working on something real. He says Maxie gives him everything he wants without a second thought, while Claudette gave him nothing. He asks for her answer again.

Sam says she can’t believe Kristina left out the most interesting part about Parker. Kristina says she should have known she could trust Sam. Sam asks why she’s avoiding Sonny. Kristina says what he doesn’t know won’t kill him and Sam says what he doesn’t know won’t bring them closer together. Sam tells Kristina about Stone and how he had AIDS, and how Sonny treated him well, even though other people were afraid back then. She mentions Robin too. Kristina says she’s still confused and Sam tells her to go out and experience life.

Maxie tells Nathan yes, and they kiss.

Nina wants to leave and tells Franco to give her a reason to stay. She says to stop telling her how important she is and show her. Franco asks if he can’t make things work from there and why do they need to go on vacation? Nina says if it’s not her, it will be someone else. She says it’s never going to be just them, and starts to leave. Franco asks her to stay and she says she’ll send him a postcard.

Paul says the grief form Duke’s death has left Anna delusional. Paul starts getting loud and Jordan says people will be lining up to go against him. He tells her not to forget her friend Anna’s part in it and that he’ll make damn sure Anna goes to jail too.

Griff wants to know if despite the legal outcome no harm will come to Carrrlos. Sonny says it’s not up to him. Griff says even if it’s out of his hands, someone else might do something. He tells Sonny thanks for seeing him and leaves.

Alexis says she can be disbarred if she tries to talk Carrrlos out of the deal. Julian says to get him off them. Alexis says she’ll go get her magic wand. He says just give Carrrlos the best defense possible. She says she’ll take the case, but only because she wants to defend what they have now, not what used to be.

Franco leaves a phone message for Nina and tells her not to give up on them. He says he’ll be waiting when she gets home.

Nina goes to the MetroCourt and sees Maxie and Nathan. Nina congratulates them and says at least someone is happy. They drink champagne.

Sam says Kristina isn’t going to figure anything out sitting around. She needs to go out and meet people. Kristina says something is different about Sam and suddenly realizes Sam must have had sex with Jason. She asks how it was and Sam says she has no complaints. She tells Kristina not to tell Molly or make a big deal out of things. She says they still have a lot to figure out.

Julian is on the phone saying he needs a contingency plan. Sonny comes in and is like, what did you just say?

Jordan says Paul is right; she can’t arrest Paul without arresting Anna. Jordan says she’ll arrest them both and who wants to go first. Anna volunteers, saying she’s willing to face the consequences of her actions. Jordan reads Anna her rights.

Sonny sics Max on Julian.

Carrrlos asks Alexis why she’s there and she tells him she’s his lawyer. She says don’t thank her though, thank Julian.

Sonny tells Max to take Julian to the car. He’s going for a ride. In mob talk, that’s never a good thing.

Tomorrow, Sonny tells Julian it’s his last chance, Alexis tells Carrrlos to turn down the deal and Mayor Lomax is going to fire someone.

Southern Charm

Craig is looking for the hairspray. Naomie tells him it’s in the black box and I wonder if they live in a plane. Even Craig is shocked that he has a job, an apartment and a girlfriend. It’s the start of the new Craig.

Shep FaceTimes with his mom. She asks if he’s keeping his place tidy and he tells her he tried to use furniture polish on the floor and almost killed himself slipping. He’s had his house for six months and wants to put a pool and bar on the roof. His mother is understandably concerned for his well-being.

Craig goes in for his first day working for JD. JD tells him to keep some casual clothes at work in case they have to knock out a wall. Craig thought this was strictly white collar, but apparently a touch of the blue is involved. JD says he’s taking a chance on hiring Craig, although Craig actually does seem to be making an effort.

Cameran comes by Shep’s place. She wonders why he wasn’t answering her texts at 11 am, but he says he only gets up early for surging, duck hunting, skiing and sex. It’s good to have some structure. Cameran tells him if he’s going to work in real estate, he’s going to have to get used to the morning. Cameran thinks he’s not living up to his potential and he’d be good at convincing women to buy houses, since they’re usually the decision makers.

Thomas. Bleh. Kathryn calls Thomas. She’s found a house she likes and wants to drop by with pictures. Thomas wants to keep the peace and avoid any arguments, so he’s being agreeable. Kathryn shows him the pictures and he’s impressed. She says she’s already given her deposit and first month’s rent, but she needs a co-signer. He thinks she should get her own credit established, but if she has no credit, isn’t this one way to do it? She says she wants to make a good life for her children. Since Thomas is always talking about all the great things he wants to do for the kids, she doesn’t want them to be disappointed when they’re at home after being at his place. Thomas gives the okay and says he’ll co-sign.

He asks Kathryn if she wants to come to his polo match with Kensie and go to the beach afterward. She’s not sure about his motives, but says okay. He asks for a hug and I go bleh again.

Patricia is planning her Flamingo Party and meets with a party planner. He brings an entire album of flamingo ideas. What? No PowerPoint presentation? Patricia ordered some baby flamingo floaties for the pool, but didn’t realize they come twelve to a package and ordered twelve, making the total 144. I can’t wait to see the pool.

Cameran says Shep’s dating life consists of one-night stands. She’s out to dinner with him and some hanger-on who looks like Jenny McCarthy and whose name I can never remember.

Landon is playing golf with her dad. Most of her words are bleeped, so I guess she’s not too good at the game. Landon says she’s a daddy’s girl. They go for a drink afterward and agree that it’s their favorite part. He asks what she’s got going on and she says she’d love to open a bar, but right now she’s working on an online magazine about Charleston society. Her father says pick one thing and go with it. Landon says she’s tired of everyone telling her she can’t have 50 dreams. No, Landon, you can, just not all 50 at once. She gets weepy during her individual interview. Millennial much? Her father wants her to be happy, but he’s not handing over any cash. He tells her she’s always landed on her feet, but she needs to make one thing work. He says God protects kids and fools, and she asks which one she is. I’d always heard it was drunks and fools.

Thomas is on the phone with Kathryn when she brings up the Flamingo Party. She wants to know why Patricia is excluding her and he says maybe it was an oversight — even though he knows it wasn’t — but she should be there. He says it’s a reflection on him and he doesn’t want the mother of his children excluded. He says he’ll talk to Patricia.

Craig is having Cameran help him with ring shopping. He says he and Naomie dated long distance for eight months and then moved in together, and he’s ready to take the next step. They go to the store and he says he wants a pre-engagement ring, which the jeweler calls a promise ring. Are we in high school? Maybe he should consider an ID bracelet. Cameran says he wants to lock Naomie down, but I don’t think a promise ring is going to do it. He does spend a bundle though.

Thomas says Kathryn’s strengths don’t lie in good manners and good breeding. This guy barely has any manners and doesn’t even realize he just threw shade at his own children. He wants to keep things copacetic so he can see Kensie when he wants to. He wants Kathryn in a happy place. Thomas visits Patricia. They meet in the library (the one in her house, not the public library) and I love this room! Thomas brings her a humongous candle. Patricia can tell he’s on a mission.

Michael brings in the drinks. Thomas flatters Patricia and she asks what he wants. He pleads Kathryn’s case for coming to the Flamingo Party. He says she wants to repair her relationships. Patricia says her fancy friends are going to be there and she doesn’t want to take the chance of Kathryn being emotional. Thomas says Kathryn has made progress. Patricia says she needs to take care of the kids rather than worry about going to parties. Thomas flatters her some more, but it’s still a no.

It’s polo match time. Kensie’s nanny is there. Thomas says the invitation to Kathryn was a chance to get what he wants — to see Kensie more. Thomas practices some shots.

Kathryn is doing all that stuff you have to do to get a toddler ready for travel. She’s concerned about having another small one to look after, since she can barely keep up with Kensie. Her friend, Jennifer, is driving. They all keep talking about Brooklyn and confusing me.

The match starts and a bunch of guys on horseback smack balls around. JD and his wife, Elizabeth, are Kensie’s godparents and looking forward to seeing her. Kathryn says they seem to talk to Thomas, but not her. Kathryn talks about what happens to the friends when a couple breaks up. When Kathryn sees Elizabeth there, she panics because she thinks Elizabeth and JD will go running back to Thomas with everything she says and does, even though he’s right there. She says it was supposed to be a family day and seeing all of the people is giving her a panic attack. Didn’t she realize there might be a few other people at a polo match?

She’s mighty annoyed, but brings Kensie over to where the nanny is. JD and Elizabeth give her a hug and say she looks good, but Kathryn isn’t having any. Why is this toddler dressed in a too long dress? When one has just learned to walk, this is probably a bad idea. Kathryn is annoyed at the fakeness and says Kensie’s godparents haven’t even visited in months. JD and Elizabeth ask Jennifer what’s up when Kathryn goes to the car. Jennifer shrugs and looks at the sky, but in her individual interview, says when Kathryn struggles emotionally, it’s like a volcano.

The nanny asks to approach the car. Kathryn wants Kensie out of the situation. Elizabeth asks if it’s the alcohol and says they can ditch it. Kathryn says she just doesn’t want her daughter around this mess. Jennifer asks what she wants to do and Kathryn says get out of there. She says screw Thomas; they’re leaving. And off they go.

JD thinks it’s unfair and even though he has no clue what’s up with Kathryn, it’s not like he hasn’t seen it before. After the match, Thomas wonders where Kensie is. He gets all stupid, whining, where’s my baby? JD says she left with Kathryn and the nanny. Elizabeth says she seemed unhappy with the atmosphere. Thomas says Kathryn shouldn’t punish Kensie by keeping her from her father. Frankly, I think she’s doing Kensie a favor. Thomas decides he’s not going to help with the house rental. Isn’t that also punishing Kensie? What an idiot this guy is.

Next time, Craig submits his application to the bar, Kathryn goes to the hospital, JD is concerned that Kathryn is manipulating Thomas, and there are flamingoes galore.

The Real Housewives of Dallas

I brace myself. I also wonder if there were clowns on the carny circuit who taught Leeanne how to apply makeup.

Brandi is helping Marie’s daughter by coaching her in cheerleading. Afterward they hang out in the kitchen. Brandi apologizes for being outspoken at Marie’s charity event. Marie says most people don’t know the better side of Leeanne. Marie says that Leeanne is very funny and they’ll bond over a sense of humor. In her individual interview, Brandi says she’s never heard Leeanne be funny and that’s doubtful.

Cary and Mark are making dinner. She says Mark was a fixer upper when she met him, but he lost 80 pounds and she became romantically interested. Their too cute daughter comes in and they practice her Swiss German. I took two years of French and can only tell you how to pack a suitcase and curse you out. This kid isn’t even in kindergarten and already speaks several languages.

Cary says kids weren’t a priority for her and that really hasn’t changed. She has a husband who cooks, a nanny and an amazing career. I raise my white flag.

Leeanne talks about how she wormed worked her way into Dallas charity society. Mad Hatter’s is the event of the season, or so she says, and anybody who’s anybody goes. It benefits the Dallas Arboretum. The hat Leeanne wore last year won an award. Since she gets her picture in a lot of papers, the designer gives her a free hat. April in Paris is the theme and I have to say the hat looks pretty cool. Very Audrey Hepburn-ish.

Brandi and Stephanie get together to make their own hats. Hide the glue gun or at least hide the wine while they’re using the glue gun. Already they’re talking poop. Brandi says she’s going to under-do everybody. Stephanie says she has to behave more responsibly, since she’s in charge of charitable contributions for their family.

Stephanie asks Brandi if she’s going to apologize. Brandi asks if Stephanie thinks she needs to. Stephanie tells Brandi she wrote Leeanne an email since it seemed like they were ganging up on her. Pfft! Leeanne started it. Stephanie basically apologized and Leeanne replied by saying she doesn’t trust Brandi not to make fun of her again. Oh, boo hoo. Stephanie asks if Brandi is mad about the email. Brandi says no, but she feels like Leeanne is trying to turn things around.

Leeanne is cooking on the grill and her dog is eating off of the cheese plate on the table. She’s having Tiffany and her husband over.Tiffany talks about how they met on a modeling shoot. She says they were party girls back in the day and they continue to have each other’s backs. Tiffany’s husband, Aaron, talks about artificially inseminating cows, which is great dinner table talk. He compares it to something Tiffany did in the bedroom and I don’t want to know.

Leeanne’s boyfriend once won a best legs contest, and the conversation quickly turns to how he should ask Leeanne to marry him. Tiffany suggest he do it before she’s fifty, and Rich says since Leeanne says she’s thirty, he has plenty of time. Hahahahaha!

Back home, Tiffany and Aaron discuss Aaron’s recording plans. Tiffany asks if he’d like a studio in the house. She’s kind of bummed at how much money she made and lost in LA. She says when she met Aaron, he had a recording deal and a mansion in the Hollywood Hills and he’s only in Dallas because of her. She asks if he wants to grow old in Texas with her and he says he’d like to grow old with her anyway.

Commercial break with important information. The Million Dollar Listing New York 90-minute premier is Thursday at 9 pm.

Brandi is baking with her girls and a teeny tiny dog in her arms that I’m already in love with. She says she’ll never be mother of the year, but maybe a short month like February. More poop jokes. They’re going to have a birthday tea party for her mother-in-law complete with a poop pie, which is really a chocolate cake. Brandi tells us to embrace poop.

Stephanie drops by. Brandi says it’s been tough because her husband has been working late hours and Stephanie says it’s the same on her end. Brandi’s husband, Brian, has a goal to be a multi-millionaire by age forty. Keep working, Brian!

Tiffany and Aaron are looking at houses. The house they’re looking at is huge and ultra modern. The realtor says the house would be perfect for the career thing. Tiffany gives the realtor some TMI by telling her they’ve been married eleven years and never seen each other pee. Thanks for that. What is wrong with these people?

Aaron and Tiffany discuss the house afterward. Aaron thinks it’s a lot, but Tiffany says the same thing in LA would cost triple. Aaron is obviously not crazy about Dallas and he doesn’t think the opportunities are there for him. He thinks they should start smaller with the house. I’m thinking he wants back in Hollywood.

It’s tea party time! Brandi says she sees her mother-in-law and sister-in-law more than she sees her husband. That’s okay. Work harder, Brian! They go around the table, telling Brian’s mother what they love about her. Brandi gets emotional when it’s her turn. Her mother was fifteen when she had Brandi’s brother and had her a year later, which she says was difficult. Brandi also never met her grandfather, who abandoned the family. She says she learned early on not to give a damn what other people thought. Well, it sounds like she did good with that hard-working husband. Keep at it, Brian!

Leeanne asks Rich’s opinion on the jewelry she’s going to wear to the Mad Hatter’s event and then proceeds to tell him why his opinion is wrong. It really is a sh*tload of pearls. Like the amount you might wear to the Gay Pride Parade.

Brandi’s hat is basically a tribute to poop. with plastic turds all over it. What is with this poop thing??? If it weren’t for the poop, it would actually be a pretty cool hat because it has something that looks like Spanish moss all hanging down off of it. Brandi says people don’t care as long as you’re donating a bunch of money and her family donates a lot.

Tickets for the event go from $300 to $35,000. There are certainly some amazing hats here. It’s something like the Easter Parade in Manhattan. Stephanie has not embraced the poop idea and her hat is pretty sedate. One lady has a poodle to match her hat or a hat to match her poodle and I’m impressed. Everyone is complementing Brandi’s hat because most of them don’t realize what it is. Brandi says if she’s going to wear sh*t she’s going to look good in it. Tiffany immediately makes a poop hat report to Leeanne, who looks on disapprovingly. In her individual interview, Leeanne talks about how graceful and beautiful all of the ladies are and that Brandi is giving them all a b*tch slap. I dunno about that graceful and beautiful business. Without the hats, I could just as easily see them all shopping at Walmart. On second thought, they could even keep the hats on and I could see them shopping at Walmart. Leeanne says nothing to Brandi’s face about her disapproval. There’s lots of air kissing.

Stephanie finally takes off her hat to lose 50 pounds. She tells everyone about how one of the turds fell off in the bathroom. Cary encourages her to put it on one of the chairs, but Brandi isn’t game. I’m surprised. Cary decides to do it herself and guess who almost sits in the seat. Leeanne thinks Brandi is trying to bait her into a confrontation. Thanks, Cary! Instead of shrugging it off, Leeanne goes to some bigwig and tells on Brandi. She says crossing the wrong people in society you get crossed off the list. That is so stupid, I hope what she did backfires and she’s the one exed out.

Next time, some of the girls go to a strip club, Leeanne won’t let go of the hat drama, and if you bow (pronounced like the bow in rainbow) at Leeanne, she’ll bow back, whatever that means. Is that carny talk?