What I Watched Today
(rambling, random thoughts & recaps from today’s real time TV watching)

Once Upon A Time

Hades is thrilled to be back in the land of the living. Zelena is worried about Regina though, as she hasn’t shown up yet. She asks Hades to take the baby to Regina’s office. He’s surprised she trusts him that much. Zelena leaves and King Arthur, who’s in handcuffs, runs up to Hades and says he’s been unjustly imprisoned and was destined to rule a kingdom. Nice to meet you too. Hades introduces himself and says he’s also destined to rule a kingdom, but he needs Arthur’s help. And then Hades kills him.

Snow tells Merida she was supposed to be guarding Arthur and now they need to get a Dwarf search party going. Merida leaves and everyone except Hook, who is still in the Underworld, shows up. David tells Snow that Hades and Zelena came back too, with Robin’s baby.

Zelena finds Regina with Robin, and tells them Hades has changed. Regina explains how Hades tried to keep them in the Underworld and says she shouldn’t trust him with the baby. Zelena insists love has changed him, but Regina says that’s what she wants to believe. Zelena says if they try to hurt him, they’ll do so at their own peril, and she disappears, poof! in a cloud of green smoke.

In the Underworld, Arthur goes to the diner where he stands out like a sore thumb in his armor. Hook approaches him and Arthur threatens Hook, but Hook says there’s not much he can do to a dead man. Hook asks who killed him and Arthur says Hades. Hook asks Arthur if he’d like to go on a quest, but Arthur says not with him. Hook tells him that when he leaves the Underworld, he can go one of two places, and since he was a terrible king, he needs all the positive points he can get.

In Storybrooke, Merida, Emma and David find Arthur dead. Emma wants to find Hades, but David tells her she needs to get a grip and look at death the way most people do.

Hades tells Zelena that if anything happened to her or the baby, he’d be crushed, so he’s going to turn himself in. She tells him she doesn’t want to risk losing him again. She says she’ll put a protection spell on the building, so no one can get to him. He unwraps a broken crystal, saying he got it from his brother, Zeus, and he’s been waiting a long time to use it.

Regina sees there’s a protection spell on the town hall. She says they’ll have to talk some sense into Zelena and can get into the building through a tunnel. Emma says she wants to come, but Regina says she’s too emotional right now. Regina and Robin enter the tunnel and Regina apologizes for trusting Zelena.

Gold visits Belle’s father and tells him about the sleeping curse. He says she needs her father to wake her, but dad doesn’t want to help him. He says until Gold is gone for good, Belle will stay asleep. Gold says he thought that’s the reaction he was going to get and brandishes a cane, threatening to beat him with it again. I guess they’ve met before. Emma comes in and tells Gold to knock it off. She says Hades is in Storybrooke and she wants to know how to kill him. Gold doesn’t want to get involved.

Arthur and Hook go to Hades’s throne room. Hook says they have to find the pages of a storybook. They start going through Hades stuff. Arthur says it’s not there, but he looked for it the same way my husband looks for things, which is basically a cursory glance. Hook begs Arthur to help. He asks where Arthur would hide his treasure. They look in the throne and sure enough, there are the pages. Hook says he has to get the pages to Emma. They contain information on how to destroy a god.

Hook and Arthur go back to the diner where Cruella is sipping a martini. Hook asks where the phone booth is and she says she destroyed it. If she’s stuck there, so is everyone else. Hook asks about the book and she says it’s in the River of Lost Souls.

Snow is pouring over some ledgers. Emma says she doesn’t have time to help. She’s bent out of shape about Hook, and Snow tells her she can help him by helping them figure out how to defeat Hades.

Hades is putting the crystal back together. He says once he does, he and Zelena can prove everyone wrong and live however they want, they can even rule Storybrooke. She says she just wants a white picket fence life. The phone rings. It’s Gold welcoming Hades to Storybrooke. Gold asks if Hades wants to make a deal. He says he’ll protect Hades for a share in the Olympian crystal.

Robin and Regina get to the town hall. Regina apologizes again, but Robin says they did owe Zelena another chance. He tells Regina she’s his future. She asks what the plan is. He says his one rule is always have a way out, but he broke his rule. Regina says she doesn’t care and he says let’s get on with finding the baby.

Hook and Arthur search for the book. Hook tells Arthur to be careful and not touch the water or he could become a lost soul too. Arthur guards the boat while Hook starts to go up the stairs. One of the souls tries to pull Arthur into the water and Hook blasts it with a tiki torch. Another soul tries to take the book and Arthur pokes it with a torch. Hook grabs the book just before it falls into the water.

Arthur wonders how one kills the Lord of Death. Hook says it calls for an Olympian crystal.

In Storybrooke, Emma looks at the storybook. She sees a picture of her and Hook (omg — I can’t stop this from rhyming) and gets nostalgic. The book’s pages flip on their own and she sees the part about the crystal.

Hades gets the crystal put back together with Underworld Crazy Glue. Zelena suggests they leave. Hades says the only way to be safe is to be strong.

Robin tells Regina they need a distraction so he can gets his daughter. Regina feels someone entering the building. It’s Zelena and Hades. They leave and Robin says who needs a plan when they have blind luck on their side.

Zelena sees Emma. Emma says she doesn’t want to hurt her. Zelena says hurting Hades is the same thing. She gets the pages from Emma and says that’s proof they’re trying to kill the man…er, god she loves.

Robin picks the baby up and says everything is going to be okay. Hades pops out and begs to differ. He says the crystal will end Regina with no afterlife. He zaps her with the crystal but Robin steps in front of her. His soul disappears, poof! in a cloud of blue smoke. Regina weeps a little over his body and Hades says not to worry, they won’t be apart long.

Zelena comes in. Regina tells her what Hades has done. Hades says they need to use the crystal so they can have a kingdom. He says there’s no better revenge than having it all. Regina tries to get the crystal, but Zelena gets it instead. Regina tells her that she wanted her to find love, but love is sacrifice and means giving things up for the person you love. Hades tells Zelena if she kills Regina she’ll have everything she wants. Zelena says all she ever wanted was love and she thought that was enough for him. Now she realizes it never will be. She destroys Hades with the crystal. He disappears, poof! in a cloud of blue smoke, not even leaving a body behind, just a pile of gravel.

Hook thanks Arthur for his help. Arthur is glad to have been on a righteous quest. Hook says he knows he was able to give Emma what she needed. A while light happens and Hook tells Arthur to come with him. Arthur says he was prophesied to fix a broken kingdom. He thought it was Camelot, but believes it’s the Underworld. Hook goes into the light.

Hook enters Olympus. Zeus meets him and congratulates and thanks him. He says he’s there to escort Hook home. He asks if Hook is ready and says it’s time to take him where he belongs.

Emma leaves a flask on Hook’s grave because she thought he’d like it better than flowers. She cries, saying there’s nothing left and she misses him. The others are laying Robin to rest, putting arrows adorned with roses on his casket. No offense to Robin, but his death didn’t exactly rock my world like they claimed it was going to in the preview last week.

Zelena names the baby Robin. Awww!

Snow tells Emma it’s not her fault. Emma wants to say good-by to Robin alone. She feels something and turns around to see Hook. They kiss and he’d better watch it with that hook. He almost got her in the back with it during the embrace. He says that as a reward for getting rid of Hades, Zeus sent him home.

Gold approaches the pile of gravel that was Hades and says he should have taken the deal. He finds the crystal and says it’s his kingdom now.

Next week, the 2-hour season finale which starts at 7 pm, Regina gets some hate going on, and Henry says he’s destroyed magic.

Fear the Walking Dead

Someone is making pesto while listening to Patsy Cline. Alicia is watching a TV and Connor comes out and serves her an Omaha steak. He says he makes sure everyone gets a hot meal every night. She asks where Jack is and Connor says he wanted to meet her alone. She asks about Travis and Connor tells her to eat. She wonders where her family is and Connor says that they have to be selective about who they let in. He leaves to deal with the generator. Alicia is stuck with Pregnant Girl who steals her food. Huh?

Left alone, Alicia tries to find a way out. Everything is locked. She goes upstairs. It’s the deck of a large ship that’s docked in a shipyard.

Jack catches her and brings her back. He tells her it’s a good thing Connor didn’t catch her. He apologizes for leaving her alone but says Connor prefers getting to know new people by himself. Alicia asks about Travis and Jack says she can’t see him right now. She asks about her family and he asks if she trusts him. She says yes, and he says give him some time and he’ll find out.

Reed apparently isn’t dead. Daniel is tending to his wound. Chris is there and Reed harasses him. He’s pretty perky for a guy who’s impaled on a giant stick. He tells Daniel that when Connor finds out, there’ going to be hell to pay. He threatens Daniel’s daughter. Daniel says men who inspire fear don’t need to say how frightening they are. I think he stole that thought from The Fonz.

Daniel and Chris leave the room. Chris is annoyed, but Daniel says Reed is just scared. He tells Chris to guard the door, but don’t engage. Ofelia tells Daniel he should be resting and Daniel spaces out for a second, saying his mind is going to places it shouldn’t.

Daniel goes to the wheelhouse and tells Madison that Reed is Connor’s brother, so that should be leverage. He looks for a cluster of five boats on the monitor. Luis wants to know why they changed course. He’s concerned they’ll miss the window of opportunity to get to Mexico. She says her family comes first.

Luis bugs Victor about it, but he says everything is negotiable. Madison tells Luis he can stay on the boat. Daniel thinks they’ll need everyone to attack, but she says no. She thanks Victor, but he says she just bought herself half a day.

Jack gives Alicia the log book to keep track of boats that are seen on the monitor, saying everyone has to pull their weight, and she’ll make contact with the boats that Connor approves. They talk about how they thought the world was a safe place before, but maybe it wasn’t.

Down below, Travis is locked in some kind of cell. He finds a book and tears a piece off of a page. He uses it to fiddle with the lock, but someone comes down. It’s Alex, the woman from the raft. She had to kill her companion. He says when Connor found him, he asked what she had to offer. She gave him Abigail (Victor’s boat) and said she wanted Travis.

Madison tells Victor not to send Nick on anymore errands. He says Nick offered to go get Luis and without Luis, they can’t get into Mexico. She tells him not to come between her and her son again.

Jack teaches Alicia about the scanner. He sees something and starts looking through the log. Alicia realizes that one of the boats is the Abigail. She asks what happens to the people on the boats that Connor approves. Jack says he doesn’t know and Alicia says she has to find her family. Jack says they’ll go together.

Madison tells Nick not to pull anything like that again. He’s loading a gun and she tells him not to get too comfortable with it.

Alicia wonders if the boat had mechanical problems. Jack asks if she’s sure that she wants to do this. He calls Connor.

Alex tells Travis that he’s the one who put them in the raft. He says they couldn’t risk her companion turning. She says she saw his face and he knew what was going to happen and the right thing to do, but chose the other.

Victor and Daniel see the shipyard and Victor says it’s time to knock on the front door.

Travis tells Alex that he has a son who watches him and he tries not to be a part of the violence. He says he can’t tell her what she wants to hear and he’s no better than the man who cut the rope. He says he had to do the same thing to his son’s mother that she did to the guy in the raft. He asks if they can be more than what they’ve become and she says she doesn’t know. He asks what’s gong to happen to her. She says Connor said he could use her, but people don’t use her.

Reed talks to Chris through the door and stupid Chris engages. Reed says Connor has plans for his sister and Chris asks if he needs to gag Reed. Reed says Chris doesn’t look like either of his parents and they have being outsiders in common. He tells Chris to be prepared, because when the time comes, the people he calls his family will put him down like a stray.

Nick comes along and asks Chris what’s wrong. Chris says if he had pulled the trigger none of this would have happened and they’d be in Mexico. Nick tells him it’s not his fault.

Alicia goes downstairs and sees Travis. She tells him that the Abigail is nearby and it’s too soon for them to have gone to Mexico and back. She says Jack wants out too and is going to help. Travis tells her not to do anything stupid. Jack comes down and says they have to leave.

On the Abigail, Connor radios Reed and tells him to dock. Madison says he can have his brother when she gets her family back. He asks what they did with Reed and she says nothing — yet. She says he’s alive, but if Connor wants him, he has to trade her family for Reed. Connor says okay. Nick says he’ll go, but Madison tells Connor she’ll see him in an hour.

Oops! Too late. Chris shot Reed. He tells Ofelia that Reed was going to turn, but that’s highly debatable. Luis says they’re going south, but Daniel says no. Chris tells Madison that Reed was going to turn. She says he doesn’t know that, but he insists he did. He tells her the gun is Reed’s and she takes it from him. He says he hopes he didn’t screw anything up and she says they’ll figure it out.

Connor tells Jack to get the girl and that the plans have changed. Travis wants to see his family and Connor tells him soon.

Ofelia tells Nick that Chris said Reed was going to turn. Well, either he lied or didn’t do a good enough job, because Reed just turned. Nick is about to put him down, but Daniel says not yet and pushes Reed back so that he’s stuck to the wall by the pole that’s through his middle. I was just thinking that my plan would be to let him turn and then give him back to his brother.

Daniel puts a sack over Reed’s head. Ofelia comes in and says it’s time.

Jack can’t find Alicia who’s hiding in a cupboard.

Nick tells Madison he’s better with the boat and the rest of them need her. She says no and he asks why. She says because he wants to. Daniel loads Reed into the boat and Madison takes off. Nick and Victor are looking at the shore through binoculars and Nick says he only sees Travis.

Pregnant Girl confronts Alicia and says she can stay in the cage. Alicia knocks her down and locks her in. Nice work. On the dock, Madison asks where her daughter is. Connor says she’ll get her when he sees his brother is okay. Alicia shoves Reed at him and he gets bitten. The guy with him starts to come after Madison, but Travis head butts him which is pretty impressive since his hands are bound

Jack asks Alicia what’s going on and she says her family came for her. Jack asks if that’s who she really wants to be with. He says they’re going to abandon her. She says sorry, and jumps off the boat into the water. Travis hauls her into the lifeboat. They leave as Alicia gazes at Jack who I guess turned out to be an okay guy

Next week, Daniel gets violent, the group heads for Mexico, Madison says they have to hide.

Shahs of Sunset

Camping — night one. MJ is looking for a corkscrew. Reza is doing some grilling and it looks mighty tasty. GG asks how everyone is doing and Shervin says how much he loves the place and thanks her for bringing them. GG tells Mike her anger isn’t about a particular thing. She says they go way back and he’s always talked down to her. He says it’s something he has to work on and realizes that he needs to fix that. He says ill feelings are toxic to him and he wants to let it go.

Reza says the talk is giving him hope. GG and Mike hug. In his interview, Reza says he hopes we enjoyed that heartfelt moment, because now we’re going to be led down another road.

Reza plants a false-positive pregnancy test and a map to a Mexican clinic, along with a few pesos, in MJ’s purse. Shervin tells MJ they just found all this in her purse. Although he doesn’t explain what they were doing with her purse in the first place. MJ says there weren’t even enough pesos to get a morning after pill, never mind a clinic.

Mike is on the phone with Jessica and the others keep trying to get him to hang up and join them. He tells MJ that Jessica comes first and asks her to have his back. They rejoin the group and MJ suggests a family meeting. Reza brings up how MJ discouraged his wedding idea. He says he loves her, but wishes she knew that no matter how the pie was sliced, the pieces were equal. I have no idea what he means by that. GG is drunk and making no sense. She says she’s done with people and doesn’t want to talk. She asks Shervin to make her a beer with hot sauce and lime, and tells Asa to go away. The girls go to bed. Reza says he realizes that the Mike and GG moment is all he’s getting tonight. The guys start goofing around and Reza chases Mike and Shervin around with the liquid poopy.

Reza makes breakfast. Asa says instead of an intervention, they had pranks. Asa has some things planned for them. She’s signed them up for some kind of obstacle rope course to challenge GG. They take the RV to wherever the course is. Mike tells the friends about trouble in paradise at home.

GG says the obstacle course looks challenging, although I would use the word impossible. She’s still recovering from her hand surgery, but she’s going to do it anyway. Everyone is encouraging. Reza says the course is representative of their lives and GG needs someone to help her. She makes it through the first course. She has to stop, but says she did a lot more than she thought she could. Asa is proud. The others do the second course and I’m exhausted just watching. The instructor has told them that only 10% finish the third one. Mike encourages Reza. This one looks scary. They’re doing a hand over hand thing going across at it’s very high up.

Afterwards for some relaxation, they do ziplining. Reza says it seems like old times.

Reza asks if they can keep an eye on GG’s drinking, since she was incoherent the night before. GG is puzzled that he should bring this up now, since they just spent an amazing time together. MJ says that the course brought up a lot of emotion and she realizes her mother has always played it safe in life. She says that when her mother is being impossible, it’s just that she doesn’t know how to do it any other way. She says Vida once got her heart broken and now she takes no risks. She says her life choices are different from those of her parents.

They stop at a restaurant, but GG isn’t hungry. Reza proposes that GG make a toast. He asks why she’s so quiet and she says she’s choosing to be. She says if anybody has a feeling of any sort to tell her, not discuss it among themselves. Reza says she gets angry when she doesn’t like something and she says it’s better than talking behind someone’s back. MJ says the talk she and GG had was disappointing and right now she doesn’t want GG to be at her funeral because her soul will affect the dirt. That’s a new one to me. In his interview, Mike says GG is a little girl trapped in a woman’s body.

The Shahs build a fire and Mike shoos a coyote away. Reza says ghosts and coyotes don’t mess with Persians. Mike tells Reza that he was a little aggressive with GG. He tells GG that being vulnerable isn’t bad and sometimes your friends can point out things you don’t see. She says her future has changed because of her arthritis. She doesn’t even know if she should have children for fear of passing it along. Mike says she has to fight. GG says she’s had it for five years and did everything right, but she’s giving up now. She says she can’t sit with her own thoughts any more and doesn’t know how to reach out.

Shervin says they want the GG back that they used to know. He tells her that some people who couldn’t be there wrote letters. One of the letters is from her dad, but she says she’s not ready for that. She tells him that she’s not strong enough. Shervin says if the letter makes her upset, she can punch him, and she agrees if she can punch him in the nuts. For Shervin’s sake, that had better be a happy letter.

Shervin reads the letter and it’s very sweet. GG says it’s a rush of emotions that she can’t hide. Asa says everyone believes in her and GG says in a weird way, she’s happy. She says it was time to listen to what her friends had to say. Mike says she’s now opened her mind to the universe and allowed knowledge to come in and guide her. Hugs all around.

GG says she thinks the trip was good for everyone and at the end of the day they’re a loving, dysfunctional family.

Next week, Shervin goes on a date, MJ tells her mother that she wants a baby, and Mike screws up with Jessica, which probably isn’t hard to do.

Game of Thrones

So now that the question of Jon Snow’s death has been answered, we might as well not watch this anymore. Just kidding.

Davos sees Jon sit up. Jon checks himself out and sees all the stab wounds. He tries to get up, and wobbles, but Davos catches him. Davos asks what he remembers and he says they all stabbed him and he shouldn’t be there. The Red Woman asks what he saw after he died and he says nothing. She says the Lord let him come back for a reason and that Stannis wasn’t the promised king, but someone has to be.

Davos says it seems crazy to him, so he can imagine how it must seem to Jon. Jon wonders why he came back, but Davos says it doesn’t matter. Jon says he thought he’d done the right thing, but he failed.

Edd and the Castle Black gang are milling around outside. Jon and Davos come out. Tormund tells Jon they think he’s some kind of god and Jon says he isn’t. Tormund makes a joke about Jon’s weenie not being so godlike. Edd asks if it’s still him in there and Jon says he thinks so.

Gilly, Sam and the baby are at sea when a storm brews up. Sam isn’t feeling well and Gilly tries to make jokes. Sam throws up. Gilly says she can’t wait to see Oldtown. Sam says there’s no women there, so they’re going to his hometown. He says his mother will take care of her, but Gilly reminds him that he’d said they’d be together. He says he cares about Gilly and the baby and wants them to be safe. She says if he thinks that’s for the best, she trusts him. Sam gets sick again.

Bran and the Three-Eyed Raven are having a vision. Bran sees his father as a younger man. Ned asks why the Kingsguards didn’t protect their king and asks where his sister is. Ser Arthur Dayne says now it begins, but Ned says now it ends. Ned’s men dispatch the Kingsguards pretty quickly until only Ser Dayne is left. Bran said that his father told him Ser Dayne was the best swordsman ever and apparently so, since he was surrounded two seconds ago and now it’s just him and Ned. Ned loses his sword and Howland comes up from behind and stabs Ser Dayne in the back. Ned finishes him off. Bran realizes this isn’t the story Ned told about it.

Ned starts going up the steps to a tower where Lyanna is and Bran calls out to him. Ned pauses and the Raven wakes Bran. Bran says he wants to see what’s in the tower. The Raven says if he stays too long in a place, he might not return. Bran says it beats sitting in a tree with an old guy. The Raven says he won’t be there forever, but for now he must learn. Everything.

Dany travels with the Dothraki to the place where widowed Khaleesis go. A woman is tending a fire and Dany gets stripped of her clothing and jewelry. She says they’ve made a mistake. The woman says she’s young and will learn — if they decide to keep her. She says Dany went out into the world after Khal Drago died and that is forbidden.

Varys meets with a woman who helped the Sons of the Harpy with their murder spree. She says if he’s going to torture her, get on with it, but he just wants answers. He says she helped the Sons of the Harpy to murder the unsullied and the queen’s guards. She says they were interlopers who didn’t belong there. He says he looks at it differently. He tells her she conspired to kill the queen’s soldiers and how will her son get on without his mother? She says if she talks, she’ll be killed, so either way she’s dead. Varys says there’s a third option, a boat sailing at dawn. She needs to decide if she wants a new life for her and her son.

Tyrion meets with Grey Worm and Missandei. He wonders what they could talk about to pass the time. He asks what they usually talk about and Grey Worm says his patrols. Tyrion says that’s a report not a conversation. He says they should play a game and Grey Worm says games are for children. Tyrion tries to think of a game that doesn’t involve drinking.

Varys comes back and tells them that the soldiers came from other cities. Grey Worm says they’ll have to leave to fight them, but Tyrion says they need him here.

Qyburn is talking to a group of children. They are Varys’s “little birds.” He gives them sweets and says he might want to hear some chirping. Ser Gregor comes in with Jaime and Cersei. The children leave and Qyburn says they’re Cersei’s little birds now. She gives him a list of things she wants to know about.

Olenna is sitting with the small counsel who are pissed at Varys. Cersei comes in and asks why Olenna is there. She says for one thing, they have her granddaughter imprisoned. Cersei says she’s glad Olenna brought it up because she wants to whine about her own indignities that she suffered. Olenna says Margaery is the queen, not Cersei. The head guy says they can’t make her leave, but she can’t make them stay either and they all walk out.

Tommen approaches the High Sparrow about Cersei seeing her daughter’s resting place. The High Sparrow says she hasn’t completely atoned yet. Tommen says as king he orders it. The High Sparrow says Cersei is deceptive, but when she speaks about Tommen, her mother’s love shines through. He says when she made her walk of atonement, she did it to get back to Tommen. He says a true leader avails himself of the wisest council he can and no one is wiser than the gods. He says the best they can do is help each other bring out the good in themselves.

The Waif asks Arya about her family. She asks where her family is now and Arya doesn’t know. She asks about The Hound and Arya says he’s dead. She says he was on Arya’s death list, but was taken off. The Waif asks if she doesn’t want him dead anymore and Arya says she does and she doesn’t. (Is this a foreshadowing?) The Waif asks for her death list, but thinks it’s too short. Arya asks what name she’d like on it. The conversation is interspersed with Arya getting trounced by The Waif.

Jaqen comes in and The Waif leaves. He says if Arya tells him her name, she can have her eyes back. He gives her something to drink and says if she is truly no one, she has nothing to fear. She drinks it and can see again. He asks who she is and she says no one.

One of the lords comes to Winterfell to talk to Ramsay. Ramsay asks why he’s there and he says that Wildings came through the wall. Ramsay says to pledge his loyalty to House Bolton and they’ll fight together. The lord says he’s not bowing down to Ramsay, but he has a gift for him. It’s Rickon Stark along with Osha. Ramsay asks how he knows that’s him and the lord shows him the head of Rickon’s direwolf. Ramsay tells Rickon, welcome home.

Jon has the men who stabbed him hanged. He asks if they have any last words. One says he shouldn’t be alive, it’s not right, and Jon says neither was killing him. Ser Aliser says he had a choice to betray him or betray the Night’s Watch, and that Jon brought Wildings into their space. Jon ponders a little while everyone watches, and then cuts the rope and the floor drops out. Pretty fancy.

Jon gives his cloak to Edd telling him he has Castle Black now. Jon’s watch has ended. Well, technically, he died, so that is an out.

Next week, Peter wants to find Sansa, Theon goes home, and Ser Jorah finds Dany.