What I Watched Today
(rambling, random thoughts & recaps from today’s real time TV watching)

Shahs of Sunset

Aww! Mike has a bulldog and he’s giving it kisses. Reza comes by Mike’s place and Mike asks him if he’s excited about his upcoming nuptials. Mike tells him that Jessica left. He came home from work and she was gone, calling him later and telling him she feels neglected. Reza tells him he sucks at being a husband and he needs to stop going out to clubs with his friends instead of paying attention to his wife.

GG is out with her cousin, Nima. She says she’s feeling much better about things since the camping trip and is getting back to her silly roots. They go to a bouncy house and jump around wearing monkey suits. And I don’t mean tuxedos, I mean onsies that are monkey costumes.

Asa and Reza go to the tailor, whose name is also Reza. He says it’s like John in Persian world. He’s getting fitted for wedding attire. MJ joins them. Reza is going for a pink and grey color combo, which is one of my favorites. MJ gets teary-eyed over the wedding plans. She’s not in favor of Reza springing a wedding on Adam, and in her interview wonders what happens if he doesn’t say yes.

Asa, who is wearing an absolutely gorgeous turban in her interview, says she and Reza are running on Persian time and late as usual getting to Palm Springs. They talk about Mike while they’re in the car. Reza says as he was writing his vows, he felt guilty for thinking better them than him. I guess everyone is running on Persian time because they get there first.

Mike meets Jessica at a restaurant. He says they’ve been going to therapy since she moved out. They’ve been taking things a day at a time, and he hopes everything eventually falls back into place. They order drinks and Jessica says she’s disappointed in life. Please. We flash back to when she and Mike were first dating. She tells him all he cares about is money. Well, maybe if she’d stop spending so much, he wouldn’t have to. Mike drinks a shot of Patron and I gag. I do not like tequila.

Jessica says Mike thinks being a good husband is only being a good provider. She says she doesn’t need all that, which is a surprise to me, since she just bought a three thousand dollar tea set. She starts whining that he had nothing in the beginning, yet she stuck by him. Mike agrees that he’s been neglectful and disrespectful of her feelings. He says he wants her to come home. She makes a stupid analogy about water torture and says she’s over it. Mike says pain tells you how much in love you are and that you don’t know what you have until it’s gone. What a poet.

Back at the “housewarming party,” Reza is wondering if Mike is going to get there. GG doesn’t want to get involved with Mike’s problems without being asked, and Adam is tired of hearing about it. Mike arrives. He wants to decompress and not think about his home life, and MJ keeps trying to bring it up. Reza has rented a party house for them to actually party in, since he doesn’t want to mess up his own place.

The group parties by the pool. MJ tells everyone about Tommy moving in and going to the fertility clinic. Mike tells her he thinks Tommy is moving too fast, as he’s the perfect person to be giving relationship advice. MJ basically tells him to mind his own business.

Asa says that this could be the best day of Reza’s life, or the worst, depending on what Adam’s answer is. She and MJ go jewelry shopping. MJ can’t believe he’s waited until the last minute to get a ring. Back at the house, Mike finds the tickle spot on MJ’s dog and makes her leg start going crazy. Reza picks out a platinum ring. Mike is having a hard time not saying anything to Adam, and is concerned that one of the others will get drunk and spill the beans.

Tommy makes it to Palm Springs and MJ is elated. Asa is practicing her part the wedding, and Reza is doing a facial mask. It’s two hours to wedding time and everyone starts getting ready. Mike is tired of MJ getting on his case. Reza starts to freak because his new suit fits tight even though it fit the day before.

Everyone gets to the venue and GG is having a hard time not saying anything to Adam. Reza is feeling sick and Mike says he felt the same way before his wedding. The group sits down for dinner. Reza says he wrote a tribute to Adam that he wants to read. He talks about Adam being the love of his life and Asa dons a special turban. She asks Adam to stand up and starts the ceremony. Even I’m nervous when they get to the I do’s. Adam thinks for a long minute and we go to commercial break.

It’s a yes! Asa pronounces them partners in life and everyone applauds. Reza gives Adam the ring and Tommy tells MJ they’re next. Mike is bummed because he screwed his marriage up so badly.

Next time, Mike and MJ argue, Reza does stand up comedy, and Jessica goes out with Mike.

Fear the Walking Dead

A gunshot is heard. Daniel wakes from a nightmare.

Celia tells Victor that Thomas died believing his lies. Madison tells her to knock it off. Celia says Madison isn’t Victor’s friend, she’s his fool. Victor wants to bury Thomas. Celia says he doesn’t deserve to bury her son and Victor says he wasn’t her son. She tells them all to be out by nightfall tomorrow.

Daniel finds Ofelia walking around outside. Travis is looking for Chris and Alicia says she woke up to him holding a knife over her. Delusional Travis refuses to believe it. He continues to look for Chris and finds a zombie with a knife in his head. He takes the knife. Meanwhile, Chris is wandering around with a gun tucked into his waistband.

Madison tells Alicia and Nick that Celia is dangerous and they need to get out of there. Nick says he can talk to Celia, but that’s a no.

Travis comes across another dead zombie. He hears noises inside an abandoned building and goes inside. A living guy pops out and Travis says he’s just looking for his son. He’s having a problem with his feet, so the guy gives him a glass of water, which makes total sense only if you know the guy doesn’t speak English. Holy! No wonder Travis is having foot trouble. He takes off his sock and his foot is a bloody mess.

Nick brings a zombified Luis back to the house. Celia says he’s changed, but he’s no less her son and tells two guys to put him with the others. She tells Nick that he understands and belongs here with them. He says what about his family and she says they’re not like him. He says they’re not bad people. She says they look at the zombies like monsters, but who’s the real monster? She says they can stay if Nick will be responsible for their actions. They can all stay except Victor.

Commerical break. Did I just hear them say this is the mid-season finale? Who came up with that concept?

Daniel tells Victor not to bury Thomas there. He says the place is infected, even the dirt, and Thomas won’t rest. He says Thomas will return and hate him for it. Victor asks what’s wrong with Daniel. Daniel leaves and gets Ofelia. He says her mother is at the gate waiting for them. A group of guys grab Ofelia and Daniel fights with them.

Madison says Nick has been different since they left Los Angeles. She says he’s obsessed with the dead and Nick replies that they’re not dead. She asks if he’s been talking to Celia. Nick says that she wanted her son back and that’s what he gave her. He says he can move among them like he’s invisible.

Victor continues to dig the hole. Madison tells him she knows what he’s going through and he gives her a speech about how Nick is an addict who needs something to be addicted to, and now Celia has influenced him. Madison asks where he’s going to go, and he says the boat, if there still is one. He asks if she wants to come with him, but she says not without Travis.

Travis is getting some better shoes from the stranger. He’s able to communicate enough for the man to tell him that Chris went thataway. When he gets close, it turns out that he does speak English and he tells Travis that Chris is in the bedroom, but will hurt his son if he doesn’t get Travis to leave. Travis opens the door and Chris has the little boy hostage and tells Travis to leave him alone.

Celia makes a speech at Thomas’s gravesite about how the world is being reborn. She’s a serious whackjob. She tells Victor it’s time for him to leave and he says he’s not done. She tells him it’s a long way back in the dark and he should hurry. Ofelia tells Celia she wants to see her father. Celia says he’s resting and he’s a danger to everyone.

Chris tells Travis everyone looks at him like a monster. Travis says he’s not, but he’s scaring the kid. Chris gets distracted enough for Travis to get the gun. Chris runs outside and Travis runs after him. They tussle and Chris almost cuts Travis with his own knife. Chris tells Travis he’s no good. Where is Carol when you need her?

Daniel is resting all right; he’s tied to a chair. Celia tries to feed him, but he won’t eat. He tells her the creatures she’s keeping are an abomination. She tells him to confess his sins and ask their forgiveness. He’s also hearing another voice and I’m finding that confusing. He tells Celia he has nothing to say. Celia says not to worry. She’ll take care of him and there’s a place for him there. She leaves and he sees his dead wife standing in front of him. I assume it’s a vision since she doesn’t look zombified. I also assume that’s whose voice he was hearing.

Nick finds Travis and tells him Madison needs him. Travis says so does Chris and tells Nick that he never saw them. He says Chris can’t come back now and neither can he.

Madison tells Celia she’s making a mistake and that she and her children are alive because of Victor. Celia says he killed her son and she’s surprised Madison doesn’t understand. Madison asks what about her son. Celia says he’s open-hearted and fearless, and the only reason Madison is there is because of that. She says the zombies are their responsibility to take care of. She says it’s a new world and wants Madison to see it with open eyes. Madison says she wants to understand.

Daniel has a conversation with Griselda. She says he told her his stories and unburdened his sins on her. She asks if he told her everything and he says there are so many, he doesn’t remember. She asks about the first one and Daniel flashes back to when he was a boy and shot someone. He says that was his first victim and she says the first victim was him.

Celia takes Madison to visit the zombies. She talks about them like they’re children. Ha-ha-ha! Madison locks her in with them. Good luck with that, Celia.

A guy comes in and unties one of Daniel’s arms so he can eat and he manages to knock the guy out and untie himself. Griselda says she’s waiting for him.

Victor gets walked to the gate and says don’t worry, he’ll hail a cab.

Daniel goes to the zombie den with a can of gasoline and spreads it around. The zombies just kind of stand there and he sees Griselda. He lights the gas. It’s so cool – you can see the flames reflected in his eyes. Madison sees the fire and calls to Daniel, but it’s too late. Victor comes by with a car and tells Madison, Alicia and Ofelia to get in. Madison sees Nick and walks toward him, even though the others are urging her to hurry it up. Nick says he couldn’t find Travis and asks where Celia is. Nick says she was right; they destroy everything.

Victor grabs Madison and Nick goes to join his new people. I guess this is one way to give Madison a new love interest.

FWD is returning in August.

Game of Thrones

Sansa gets a message. It’s from Littlefinger. Brienne takes her to meet him. He says he’s glad to see her unharmed. She says that’s hardly what she’d call it and tells him what an inhumane bastard Ramsay is. Littlefinger says he made a horrible mistake. Sansa says that ladies don’t talk about most of the things he did, except maybe in a brothel. Littlefinger says he’s sorry. She tells him that he was no protector. He saved her from monsters only to give her to other monsters. She says she doesn’t need him anymore; she and Jon are taking back Winterfell. Littlefinger tells her that her uncle, the Blackfish, is still alive and how she might need him to help her.

Arya does battle with the Waif. The Waif knocks her down and tells her she’s not ready and she should go home before it’s too late. Arya gets up and the Waif drops her fighting stick, but Arya still can’t beat her. The Waif tells her she’ll never be one of them and calls her Lady Stark. Jaqen enters and says she has a point.

Jaqen walks with Arya and gives her some history about the Faceless Man. He shows her the first faces of men and says the girl is one of them if she decides. He gives her a vial, says she’s been given a second chance, and tells her about an actress she is to poison, Lady Crane.

Arya goes to see a satyric performance about the Lannisters. She’s not too thrilled when they get to the part where the Lannisters behead her father, followed by an unfair portrayal of Tyrion and Sansa. Arya goes backstage and watches Lady Crane, deciding to poison her run. She reports back to Jaqen. She says Lady Crane seemed like a decent person, but Jaqen tells her death comes for both the decent and not-so-decent.

Bran and the Three-Eyed-Raven are having a vision where the Children of the Forest turn a man into a Whitewalker. When Bran awakes, he sees one of the Forest Children and says they’re the ones who made the Whitewalkers. She says that they were at war with the humans and made them in self-defense.

Yara comes forth to claim the Salt Throne. She makes a speech, but old dude stops her, saying that the male heir has returned, so she’s wasting her breath. Theon steps forward and says that Yara is the rightful ruler and revs up the crowd. Euron gets into the act and also claims the throne, making nasty comments about Theon’s manhood or lack thereof. Yara says her first act as queen will be to execute the man who killed her father. Euron says, yep, that was him, but Balon led them into two wars they couldn’t win and apologizes for not killing him years ago. Theon says Eulon wasn’t there because he was out gallivanting, but Yara was. Yara says she’s going to build the largest fleet ever and Euron says no, he will. He says he wasn’t born to be king, but he paid the Iron price.

The old dude puts Eulon in the water so he can drown and emerge anew. His body is brought to the shore and it looks like he’s done for good when suddenly he coughs up a bunch of water, and the group chants, “what is dead will never die.” He gets a driftwood crown for his trouble and says let’s go murder Yara and Theon. Too late though, they took the best ships and are headed out to sea. Eulon tells the crowd to build a thousand ships.

Dany meets with Jorah and Daario. She tells Jorah she banished him twice, he came back twice, and now he saved her life. She says she can’t live with him and can’t live without him. He shows her the greyscale on his hand and says he has to go away, but he’s going to end it before it gets really bad. She says she’s sorry, but he says he’s not because he loves her and always will. He starts to exit like Elvis in Flaming Star, but Dany stops him, saying that she’s still his queen and she commands him to find a cure and then return to her. She says she’ll need him by her side when she takes the Seven Kingdoms. Dany rides off with her troops and Jorah rides in the other direction.

Varys says it appears that a fragile peace has taken place in Meereen. Tyrion says they have to play up that Dany is responsible for that. Tyrion asks a Red Priestess for help. She says she supports Dany, and goes on about the Lord of Light and how Dany will defeat the darkness. Varys brings up how the Red Woman thought Stannis was the chosen one and look what happened. She says even honest servants of the Lord make mistakes. She says that everything happens for a reason and talks about Varys’s castration and how he heard a voice that night. She says if he is a true friend of Dany’s, he has nothing to fear.

Bran sneaks in a vision when the Raven is asleep. He’s on the other side of the Wall and sees an ancient graveyard. There’s an army of zombie-looking men that are frozen. He sees Whitewalkers on their horses and one of them sees him. The army starts to move and the Whitewalker grabs his arm. Bran wakes and the Raven says the Whitewalker touched him and now he can get in because his mark is on Bran. He says they all have to leave and it’s time for Bran to become him.

Jon says they need more men to take Winterfell. Davos says it doesn’t look good and Sansa suggests the Karstarks. She says that her father always said the North was more loyal. Davos says they still don’t want to get skinned alive. Sansa thinks that people will remember the Stark name and rally. She tells them about the Blackfish and Davos is encouraged.

Brienne wants to send a raven to the Blackfish, but Sansa is afraid it will be intercepted and wants to go personally. Brienne says Jon seems trustworthy, even if a little brooding (ha-ha!), but she’s not sure about Davos. Sansa says that he’s cool, and Brienne asks why she lied to him about how she knew about the Blackfish.

The group, including Jon, leaves on their quest with Tormund making eyes at Brienne. Edd realizes he’s now the Lord Commander.

Meera is talking to Hodor, when she gets a bad feeling. Rightly so. There’s an army of Whitewalkers outside the cave. The leader touches the ground and it makes a beeline into the cave. Meera tries to wake Bran, but he’s busy visioning with the Raven. The Forest Children throw their version of Molotov cocktails at the Whitewalkers, but all it does is start a fire that the Whitewalkers walk right through.

Yikes! The Whitewalkers are in. Meera tells Bran he has to wake up because they need Hodor. He hears her voice in his vision. The Whitewalkers are right there and bumping off the Forest Children like they’re swatting gnats. Meera manages to kill the head walker. NOOOO! The Whitewalkers get Bran’s direwolf. Bran enters Hodor’s mind and they all manage to get out. The Night’s King goes up to the Raven. In his vision, the Raven tells Bran it’s time and he must leave.

Oh man, these Whitewalkers are some kind of creepy. The Forest Child throws a fireball at the Whitewalkers and buys time for Hodor to get the door open and get Bran and Meera out. In Bran’s vision, young Hodor is having a seizure. He starts saying “hold the door” until the words merge into “Hodor.”

This absolutely sucks. While Hodor keeps the door closed so Bran and Meera can get away, the Whitewalkers attack him.

Next time, Bran on the run, Margaery stands accused, and Daario and Dany team up.