What I Watched Today
(rambling, random thoughts & recaps from today’s real time TV watching)

General Hospital

Nina has a vision of Franco as a Zorro type guy. He flings the furniture aside, approaching her and declaring his love. He grabs her and passionately kisses her.

Elizabeth is in the process of moving. She brings a bunch of boxes in and shows Jake the new toaster she got. Franco knocks at the door, bringing her a housewarming gift of a toaster.

Morgan tells Kiki he’s been released. He says he’s officially not a threat to himself or anyone else. Kiki coughs all over him. She tells him she’d thought they could still be friends. Morgan says he knows he pushed her away. He says he was a huge jerk to break up with her and he’s sorry he did it. She says it was a real surprise. He doesn’t want to go into it, but he says her mom convinced him she’d be better off without him.

Sam opens the hotel room door where Ava had been staying in London. She and Jason are looking for clues. Sam finds a card from the art dealer Ava was supposed to meet with. She calls, pretending to be Ava’s assistant, claiming to be looking for a lost umbrella.

Hux demands the real statue from Ava. Weeping Nyad? Nyack? What the blip is it? She says the only one she had was the one he just smashed. She says she had it authenticated. She tells him she’s not lying, but Nicholas – who is no help – says she is.

Maxie comes into Nina’s office, where Nina is still fantasizing. She tells Nina to snap out of it and says that the designer, Ma-Ha Chang, is giving her first choice of the new bridal line.

Franco says Jake called him and wanted him to come over, but he didn’t think Elizabeth would be cool with that, so he used a housewarming gift as an excuse.

Nicholas makes up some stuff about Ava, saying she was going to sell the fake statue until Hux waylayed her. Hux asks where his property is. She tells him it’s in her room at the hotel. But weren’t they leaving for the airport? This is making less sense as it goes along.

Maxie wants a dress that’s going to photograph well, since they’ll be looking at the wedding pictures for the rest of their lives. Nina asks her to stop talking and says she’s never going to be a bride or find love ever again. She says she should never have broken up with Franco.

Elizabeth makes toast with the new toaster. Jake says his dad isn’t answering his calls or texts, and Elizabeth reminds him that Jason had something he needed to do. Franco suggests drawing a special picture for him.

Sam finds out that Ava never made the meeting. Jason says Nicholas never made his flight either. Jason thinks they took off together, but Sam says her stuff is still here and wonders how they could have just disappeared.

Hux tells Ava that the statue better be there. He leaves and Nicholas asks what he’s going to find.

Morgan tells Kiki not to be mad at Ava, she was just trying to protect her daughter. He says she was right, but he’s stable now. He says his mind isn’t all over the place anymore and he thinks before he acts. He wants to try again with her. He says the thought of making her happy kept her going and she was the light at the end of his tunnel, and instead of telling her how he felt, he pushed her away. He says if it’s too late, he understands.

Maxie tells Nina she’s smart, beautiful and talented and she’ll find love again. She adds that Franco set the bar pretty low, but Nina says they were amazing together. She says she went to Franco for a booty call, but he wondered what that would do to their relationship. She says it was a mistake, because she really wants them to get back together. She wonders if they still have a chance.

Elizabeth says it was nice of Franco to promote Jason and he says he’s jealous of him. He says Jason loves Sam and he wishes he could be as clear in his relationship with Nina. He tells her about Nina wanting him back, but doesn’t know what he wants, even though he’s been thinking about her night and day.

Morgan tells Kiki about seeing her and Dillon kissing. She says she’s sorry, but he says she has nothing to be sorry about. Dillon comes in with her prescription, some candles and food.

Ava tells Nicholas he’s the one who said she had the real statue. He said he was just buying time and she says see where that got them – tied together back to back. He asks if she doesn’t have the orginal stashed away, but she says she thought the one she had was the real one.

Sam says maybe Nicholas and Ava took off for an overnight. Jason finds their boarding passes and Sam says maybe they’re having an affair. Hux is at the door. Good thing he’s talking to himself, giving them warning.

Kiki tells Dillon that Morgan was just released from the clinic. Morgan says sorry, and he’ll take off. Dillon says there’s enough food for all of them. Morgan says he forgot his prescription at the hospital and leaves. Dillon asks what he missed.

Nina asks Maxie if she thinks Franco will come back. Maxie says they broke up for important reasons, like the baby thing. Nina says she didn’t believe him when he said it would be fine with just them. Maxie asks if she’s changed her mind and Nina says seeing him with Jake at the Nurses Ball just confirmed that he should be a father. She says she’s accepted that she can’t have a baby and for whatever reasons Franco has, he doesn’t want to be a father. Maxie asks if Franco knows that and she says she wanted to tell him in person.

Nina decides to text Franco, but she hears something from inside one of the packages. Maxie says at least it’s not ticking and Nina asks if bombs still tick.

Franco talks to Elizabeth about how Nina blossomed into a confident woman before him and he blew her off. He realized later he made a mistake and now he doesn’t know what he wants and thinks he should give up on relationships completely. Elizabeth asks him where this is coming from.

Nicholas says if he dies, Spencer will think he was abandoned. He says they have to work together and find a way out. They manage to stand up.

Hux sneaks into Ava’s room. He starts going through the drawers, throwing things around. Where Sam and Jason went is a mystery, and why he doesn’t find them is a bigger mystery.

Nina asks if they should call the bomb squad. Maxie says no one is trying to blow them up, just blow their minds. It’s a sample from a sex toy place that’s been trying to get the magazine’s attention. Maxie looks it over, even though we don’t see it. She marvels at the accessories.

Franco says ever since Jason started remembering things, he’s been reminded of all the horrible things he’d ever done. He says he was pretending he wasn’t that guy anymore and was someone who could love and was capable of being loved. Elizabeth tells him to stop whining.

Kiki and Dillon sit down to eat. She apologizes to Dillon and he says she’s been nothing but clear with him. He thinks she should sort through her feelings now that Morgan is out, and to take as much time as she needs. He leaves.

Nicholas says they have to find something to cut the ropes. Ava finds a letter opener. She says it’s valuable and rare, and Nicholas adds that it’s also dull. She tries to cut the rope with it anyway.

Morgan picks up his pills from the desk at the hospital and runs into Kiki.

Hux calls home, saying he’s abandoning his search and to make sure his guests aren’t getting into trouble. When he leaves, Jason and Sam come out. Jason says they have no other leads, so they should go to Lynch Manor, where Hux lives.

Ava and Nicholas have freed themselves. He says since she was a criminal, she must know about picking locks. She says she was a mobster, not a cat burglar, but messes with the lock anyway.

Maxie explains sex toys to Nina, but she says nothing will ever replace Franco. She decides to text him.

Elizabeth tells Franco he’s being pathetic. She says he’s not all bad like he used to be and she knows he was trying hard. She says he only occasionally gives her the creeps now. He says it was never his intention to creep her out. She says he was her friend when no one else was. He says everyone should have a friend and asks if she believes he’s really changed. She says she does. He asks her to promise to think of him when she makes toast. He kisses her. What?

Tomorrow, Sam says this could cost Jason his freedom, Morgan and Kiki talk, and Hux catches Ava and Nicholas.

The Real Housewives of NYC

Puppies! Carole is at some kind of photo shoot for a dog wedding charity event. The bride belongs to The Fat Jew, who is a big animal advocate. Notable New York dog lovers were invited to be in the wedding party, and Carole’s dog, Baby, is taking part. I go out of my mind at the canine cuteness.

Dorinda is out shopping with Jules, who actually seems like a normal human. Of course, I look at all the scenes with Jules through an upcoming-divorce lens. Dorinda tells her about how great Sonja looks since she quit drinking.

Ramona visits Sonja. Sonja tells Ramona that she’s not drinking and she’s been working out. In her interview, Ramona says that Sonja is kind of a mean drunk. They hug it out and we see flashbacks of their friendship. They talk about the dog wedding and move on to Bethenny. Ramona says she was pretty adamant about not wanting Sonja or The Countess to come on the trip to Mexico. Ramona tells Sonja that she should apologize to Bethenny and if she starts screaming, just ignore it and keep saying sorry. Sonja says she has a tendency to ramble. Truth!

Dorinda wants Sonja and The Countess to come on the trip to Mexico. She thinks everyone should just grow up and deal. Dorinda says she talked to Tom’s ex-girlfriend who claimed that Ramona only dated him once and Ramona is exaggerating. Maybe through the pinot haze, it just seemed like seven dates.

Sonja and Ramona role play, with Ramona being Bethenny. She also corrects Sonja along the way. In her interview, Ramona says the odds are that Sonja won’t even remember her instructions, but she has hope.

Carole meets Bethenny at STK. Bethenny has a doctor’s appointment for the next day. It’s a gynecological issue and Bethenny thinks a previous IUD might have led to the problem. She tells Carole about her meeting with The Countess. She says she’s paying a lot of money for the trip and she only wants grown ups along. Subsequently, she got a text from The Countess, thanking her for the invitation to Mexico and saying she’ll be glad to come. Carole says Sonja keeps texting her and she knows Sonja is hoping for an invite. She says she likes Sonja when she’s not drinking and Bethenny calls The Countess an emotional vampire. I agree that she’s probably pretty taxing.

Jules and Michael are meeting with the CEO of Praeger’s Foods. Jules wants to start a business using a family recipe for a “clearing tonic,” whatever that is, that she wants to get out there. I’m assuming it’s similar to a cleansing product. CEO Larry is married to a friend of hers and helping her out. He’s brought samples for them to try out. Jules says doing a project like this helps in her recovery from her eating disorder. Michael compares her getting all of this together behind his back to cheating and I go, hmm… She makes a divorce joke and I hmm… again.

Bethenny and Dorinda meet at Home Goods. Bethenny says the store is like porn to her and I totally understand. Home Goods is one of my favorite places in the world. I even have fun watching them shop. They discuss The Countess, who Bethenny says is in her own world. She tells Dorinda about The Countess inviting herself to Mexico, and now she has to dis-invite her from a trip she didn’t invite her on. Bethenny tells Dorinda about her medical problem and says she’s going to the doctor directly after this. She’s worried that it will interfere with the Mexico trip. Dorinda asks to come along to the doctor. They leave the store in a sudden rush.

It’s time for the dog wedding! Jules finally found a new nanny. She doesn’t speak English, but they’re working through it. Sonja comes over with her dog. Jules is having her make-up done and offers Sonja a piece of the action. Jules tells her about a freak accident she recently had and shows pictures from her phone. Lots of TMI.

Carole goes to Bethenny’s place. Bethenny’s assistant shows her the bridesmaids dress. It probably cost thousands.

Jules’s hair and make-up people arrive and tend to her and Sonja. Sonja tells Jules about her rehearsed apology to Bethenny. Earlier Sonja said something about her people not being able to change the name Tipsy Girl, and I wonder if she signed something already. Of course she could impress upon them that Bethenny can sue her. Not that I think she’d bother, since we will never see a real product from Sonja anyway.

Commercial break. I’m dying to see The Secret Life of Pets, but I’ve swore off anything PG-13 or under. The last time I saw a PG-13 movie, I felt like I was in the middle of a field trip bus.

Bethenny is going to need surgery. She lost a lot of blood and has huge fibroids that need to be removed. She’ll have to be in the hospital for three days. One of the options is a hysterectomy which freaks Bethenny out. She’s upset about having to cancel the trip, but Dorinda wisely says that it’s good she went to the doctor now, and didn’t end up in a Mexican hospital. She offers to tell everyone for Bethenny, who doesn’t want to deal with it.

Carole says the dog wedding is the wedding of the year. It is quite amazing. And more cuteness! Dorinda says it’s nicer than her wedding. She adds that her dog doesn’t fit in, being a country bumpkin. Columnist Cindy Adams officiates. She must be 110. This is horrible, but I’d actually thought she was dead.

The bridal party walks up the aisle. The bride is a gorgeous a cocker spaniel and the groom is an adorable Chihuahua in a top hat. Ten grand is raised for puppy mill rescues. Afterwards, drinks are served and Dorinda lets everyone know that the trip is off. She says Bethenny is going to be out of commission for medical reasons, but Bethenny can fill in the details. Ramona is disappointed that she can’t wear her new bathing suit, and shows her Instagram pic. Sonja is disappointed because now the apology is postponed. Ramona cuts the cake herself. Is she supposed to be doing that?

Next time, Sonja declutters, Ramona and The Countess argue, and Bethenny freaks out.