Monthly Archives: May 2017

May18

May 17, 2017 – Anna Has a Twin, Dorinda Hosts an Event, OUAT News, 1985 & an Opinion

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What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

 

 

General Hospital

Carly tells Bobbie no way. She’s not hiring Scotty. She’s not that desperate. She says she’ll go from suing for divorce to death row in no time. Bobbie tells her that he does know his way around a courtroom.

Martina shows up at Sonny’s to say good-by.

Griff tells Michael it’s a good thing he was there to tell them Nelle only had one kidney.

Dante arrives home to find Charlotte playing with Rocco. Lulu says life is full of happy, unexpected surprises. I wonder when I’ll get one of those.

Valentin tells Nina that he promised when they took him away in handcuffs that he’d be back, and he was. Now he promises to put things back together. Nina says, until Anna comes back, and he says she’s not coming back.

Anna begs Sister Caroline for help. Dr. Lancaster asks what’s going on; he heard voices. He wants to know if “Alex” regained consciousness. Caroline says it was only her voice he heard; she was trying to get Alex to relax, since her heart rate was up. The doctor says if she becomes agitated or regains consciousness, call him immediately. Caroline says she always follows his instructions to the letter. As she closes the door, she says, except now. She asks Anna what’s going on.

Nina tells Valentin that Anna is a lying bitch who played on his vulnerabilities, but it doesn’t change that he lied to her. He says he hates himself, and they can’t not fix this. He’ll get her to trust him again. Nina says she can’t. He says maybe it all came too easy after a lifetime of sitting on the sidelines. He was afraid it would get taken away. She says it doesn’t matter any more. He tells her that if she’s worried he and Charlotte are going to leave her, they’re not. They both love her, and he’s going to spend his life convincing her. She tells him not to worry about her; worry about Charlotte.

The kids go to brush their teeth, and Dante asks Lulu how they got a sleepover. Lulu says she’s not sure Valentin knows. Nelle went AWOL, and the school couldn’t reach him, so they contacted her. Dante says Nina was vocal about Lulu not getting extra time, but Lulu says they couldn’t get her either. She tells Dante she isn’t sure Nina is going to be in the picture much longer. She got the impression that the marriage is over.

Michael asks Griff how Nelle is doing, but he doesn’t know much yet.

Andre is on the phone at the bar. He asks when the pharmacist will return from his family emergency. His patient’s family is depending on his cooperation in this matter.

Martina going back to Atlanta. Mission not accomplished, and she sees no point staying. Sonny gives her a drink, and says happy landings. She says bumpy ride so far. She hates leaving it like this, and he asks if she’s going to miss him. She says she’ll miss finishing what she started; she had him. The initial report just scratched the surface of his colorful life. He toasts to her being off the case, and Martina adds, and Carly not being the wiser.

Carly can’t figure it out. She thinks the conflict of interest with Martina is a cover-up. Bobbie says Sonny’s holdings are complex. Carly says they were holding hands. Bobbie tells her to use her time to find a new lawyer. She knows Carly is overwhelmed, but the only way through it is to keep on moving or she’ll get stuck in bitterness and hatred. She tells Carly get off her butt, and stop raging about Sonny. She says to stop beating around bush and get a divorce.

Martina tells Sonny that he has a lovely home, and good luck holding onto it. He says he’s good at holding on to things. She supposes Ava is neutralized. She says both he and Carly seem to despise her equally, and Sonny calls Ava a vicious snake. Martina wonders why Ava wouldn’t still use the information about them against him, but Sonny says she’s found it’s better to work with him than against him. Martina says it’s too bad that he and Carly can’t come to the same understanding.

Bobbie asks Carly why she’s using the tactic of holding on to Sonny’s assets, and Carly brings up Jax getting deported. Bobbie asks if she’s the karma police, and Carly says he has to pay. Bobbie says that she deserves peace and happiness, and she’s not going to get that from hurting Sonny. In the long run, Sonny won’t be the one hurt. Bobbie talks about the kids and how it’s taking a toll on them. Carly says she doesn’t want them going through that pain, and Bobbie tells her to make a clean, quick break, and put it in the rearview mirror.

At the hospital. Michael asks if he can see Nelle. The nurse says she’s not awake. He says maybe she’ll wake up if she sees someone cares about her. The nurse tells him she has to check on lab results – wink-wink. He thanks her, and when she’s gone, goes in to see Nelle, who is all hooked up to tubes and machines.

Nina tells Valentin what happened with Charlotte. He asks why she didn’t take Charlotte back to Windemere, and she says it’s not her home anymore. He asks if she thought making her point was more important than Charlotte, and she says that she thought she shouldn’t get into a fight with Lulu. She says she loves Charlotte, and would never do anything to harm her. Valentin says no matter how long it takes, he’s going to put their lives back together. She tells him to think of his daughter.

Dante reads Ferdinand to the kids. That was one of my favorites as a child. He realizes that they fell asleep. He’s surprised Lulu still awake, and she says she wouldn’t miss it.

Sonny tells Martina that he’s not looking for a war. Martina says she hopes he doesn’t end up finding one, and that he has the most to lose. He asks if he should he give Carly everything that’s his. He says Martina doesn’t know him, but she says she knows the road he’s headed down. He could lose everything; not just money, but his family, well-being, and sense of self. She says high profile divorce cases can be devastating. He says he already has a lawyer, and she asks if he’s set on friends. He says he’s not into absent friends (a toast!), and she says she’s not gone yet. As her first act of friendship, she says she’s returning this. It’s his wedding ring.

Griff gets Nelle’s test results. Carly walks in, yapping on the phone. He asks if she’s looking for Michael, and she says no, why?

Michael is busy talking to Nelle. He tells her she’s safe and at GH, and he’s going to see that she has the best care. He tells her he’s leaving, but won’t be far.

Anna sits up. Caroline comes in. She says not to get up. Anna doesn’t know where she is. Caroline tells her that she’s at Merrick Clinic, and she’s been there for two months. Anna says she has a blood disease, and Caroline says they know; the doctor has given her phlebotomy treatments. Anna doesn’t understand why she’s being held captive, but Caroline tells her not to exert herself. Anna says that Alex is her twin; they’re not close, and lead separate lives. I guess so. And I also guess I’m wrong about who fake Anna is. Dammit! They sure pulled that rabbit out of a hat. Caroline is confused. Anna asks why she’d need to be sedated all the time, and asks if Alex had a blood disease. When Caroline says no, Anna tells her to look up Anna Devane on the internet, and come back with a phone.

Lulu tells Dante that Charlotte asked for Nina and Valentin, and she told her she’d see them tomorrow. Dante says he’s glad she’s happy, but he’s waiting for the other shoe to fall. Lulu wonders what would keep Valentin from picking up Charlotte. The doorbell rings, and Dante says maybe they’re about to find out. Come on. Everyone had to have laughed when they read that the first time. Yep. Valentin is there for his daughter.

Martina tells Sonny that she found the ring while she was packing. She asks why he didn’t toss it overboard, and suggests he was hoping someone would find it. So if he got it back, he’d have to think twice about the divorce.

Nelle wakes up. Michael says he’ll get the doctor, but Griff is there already, and asks to speak privately with Nelle. Outside the room, Michael sees Carly. She says Griff told her about Nelle. He says she’s in bad shape, but would be worse if he hadn’t found her. Although she wouldn’t even be there if he hadn’t left.

Andre makes Nina a root beer float at the bar. She talks about loving them as a child when her father made them, and how she wasn’t close to him. She says that Valentin is a devoted father, but tells Andre that she can’t talk to him about it, since Anna is at the root of their problems. She asks how Anna bamboozled a smart man like him. How does she get smart, intelligent men to fall all over themselves, when all that’s there is a self-serving bitch who breaks up families? Andre says there’s more to her. Nina says there’s less. Take away the accent and manners, and she’s a cold blooded snake. He says that’s not the Anna he knows, and Nina says maybe he doesn’t know her.

Caroline comes back, but didn’t bring a phone. She says the doctor must have mistaken Anna for her sister. Anna says she was at her sister’s flat and blacked out. She thinks Alex drugged her. She says she doesn’t need to be sedated 24/7. She has to get out, and Caroline has to help her.

Lulu tells Valentin to come in, as long as he can be civil. She explains that she was the only available parent, and Valentin asks why she didn’t take Charlotte home. Lulu says Nelle never showed up, and she wasn’t going to leave her with the servants. Valentin says he doesn’t know what happened, but he just wants his daughter. Lulu says now he knows how she feels.

Michael tells Carly what happened on the docks. She says none of this is his fault. He asks whose fault is it? Everyone was wrong, but the only one who seems to be paying for it is Nelle.

Griff asks Nelle what she remembers. She says she was on the dock waiting for the boat, some guy tried to mug her, and she fought back. It’s the last thing she recalls. He tells her about Michael finding her, and says her kidney was bruised. He asks if she wants to see Michael.

Sonny tells Martina that he didn’t want to wear his ring during a one-night stand; end of story. She says it’s not her job to help him salvage a relationship he doesn’t want to salvage. He says that Carly did the unforgivable, and he just wants it over. Martina suggests he start by getting rid of the ring. She starts to go, but he doesn’t want her to leave.

Andre tells Nina that Anna is a complicated woman with complicated past. Nina says Valentin is part of that past. Anna took advantage of it, and now Andre is defending her. Andre tells Nina that what she has with Valentin is greater than what he imagined he had with Anna. They’ve moved on to real drinks.

Lulu tells Valentin that this was traumatic for Charlotte. They calmed her down, fed her, and she forgot about it. Dante asks if he wants to wake her up after all that. Lulu says she’s informing the social worker if he does, and already told her about everyone disappearing.

Anna tries to get up, and Caroline tells her not to exert herself. Anna says she has to go, and Dr. Lancaster appears. He says, on the contrary, and insists she stay.

Sonny asks Martina to stay. She says that he called her a one-night stand. He says that they have another night, and she tells him that she’s just distraction from mess he’s in. He says they’re good to go. They enjoy each other’s company, and she hasn’t left yet. They have time for one more act of friendship. Martina says maybe more than one. I refrain from the jokes in my head.

Carly tells Michael that she wouldn’t wish this on Nelle ever. She says sometimes it’s easier to be angry than afraid. Griff comes out, and Michael asks to talk to Nelle, but Griff says she doesn’t want to see him. Good.

Nina tells Andre about the first night she met Valentin. He was charming and unexpected, and if she had to do it over again, she would. He says in shrink speak, that’s an important realization. Nina says now she’s sitting here nursing a broken heart, but she’d do it again; she was happy, and saw how full her life could be. She saw herself, and she likes herself. As badly as Valentin screwed up, he got her there, and that’s a good thing. She says she thinks he knows she’s the best thing ever happened. He’ll regret Anna, and so will she

Lulu tells Valentin that she did everything by the book. Valentin says she thought of everything. She says that’s what a responsible parent does; now it’s his turn. He says he’ll be back in the morning, and she says she hopes he likes pancakes. He leaves, and Dante tells Lulu that he’s impressed.

Andre tells Nina that going after Anna isn’t going to serve her. She says Valentin knows she’s been manipulating him, and he’s not going to let her get away with it. She has to go, and Andre leaves Anna a message to call him back; trouble is coming her way.

Dr. Lancaster says he’ll deal with Caroline later, but they need to get “Alex” back to sleep. When he bends toward the bed, Anna stabs him in the neck with a syringe. She says the Sister has to help her to get out.

Tomorrow, Brad talks to Laura, Hayden wonders if she’s ready for a baby, and Valentin asks Lulu what game she’s playing.

The Real Housewives of New York City

Luann makes wedding plans, and Dorinda makes plans for a charity event, as well as Hannah moving out. She wants to spend some time being on her own. Bethenny goes furniture shopping with her. Bethenny has found an enormous apartment in Soho (and enormous is not an exaggeration), but hasn’t decided what she’s doing with it yet. Must be nice.

Ramona is shopping with Avery, who tells her she overdoes her coolness, and it looks like she’s trying too hard. Thank you. She wonders what’s underneath the fight with Bethenny. Ramona tells Avery how she presented the subject, and Avery – who is more mature than her mother – says it sounded like an attack.

Luann has lunch with Sonja. She talks about the awkwardness between Ramona and Bethenny. Sonja says Ramona is confrontational, and two taboo subjects are Bethenny’s kids and her business.

Bethenny tells Dorinda that she’ll be cordial, but she has enough reasons and history to know it’s not working with her and Ramona.

Ramona meets Tinsley for drinks. Sonja joins them. Tinsley is on the prowl, but isn’t sure if they’ll be the best wingwomen. Ramona orders something very complicated that involves as many glasses as ingredients, and gives Tinsley tips about getting the attention of men in bars. Be a woman. There you go. Ramona bothers the workers in the kitchen, then asks for a big straw for her drink. They check out some guys who look like they’re twelve.

Tinsley calls Sonja over. In her interview, Sonja says if Tinsley wants marriage and children, she needs to stick with the plan, and she’s veered off the highway. Ramona chats up a 12-year-old, and promotes Tinsley. He says he’s twenty-something, but I don’t believe it. Tinsley says she’s never seen women move faster in her life. I have news for her. This dude is not interested in Ramona or Sonja. She decides to stay behind, and Sonja tells her that’s a big mistake. His name is Chad, and he tells her he’s twenty-three. She pretends to fall off her chair, and they kiss.

The next morning, Sonja complains that Tinsley killed off a cutting from her plant. Tinsley asks if Sonja has sweetener, and Sonja tells her to steal it from restaurants. She asks when Tinsley came home, and Tinsley says she wasn’t going home with someone she just met. Sonja explains how a girl sometimes has to blow off steam, but not to get involved if they’re not on the list.

Bethenny is doing work for Be Strong’s breakfast at the Rainbow Room. They’ve combined with Dress for Success, and help women in crisis. Dennis joins her. In her interview, she says he was a fan of hers long before there were any others. She never thought about him as a boyfriend, so it was a major surprise and very romantic. Carole arrives. I’m surprised she’s still breathing after the election. Bethenny gets up to speak, and gets choked up. In her interview, Carole talks about how suckerfish Jason Hoppy won’t let go. Bethenny tells the women about her own crisis, and how she’s been inspired by them.

Carole and Adam go inside fake rock climbing, along with their friend Nina. Carole says that she and Adam are similar in a lot of ways, but not this one. He’s very athletic, and she’s not. She says he does get her out and doing stuff she doesn’t normally do, and that’s fine – to a certain extent. She climbs two feet up and says she’s done. Just kidding, she went further than I would have. Heights aren’t exactly my thing.

Nina asks Carole about the apartment situation. She says Adam found a place, but all of a sudden, the woman isn’t moving out. It looks like she’ll be sparing space for a while. She says they love each other and are together, but she doesn’t feel like it’s that relationship, and it’s hard to have the conversation while they’re living together.

Tinsley meets Chad for a date. She says he’s a little young, but she wants to have some fun. They go bowling. I guess their idea of fun is different from mine. She says she does want to get married eventually, but right now she feels like she’s twenty. Chad gets asked for his ID when they order a drink. Ugh. And I’m surprised. The drinking age was 18 when I moved to NYC, and I was only carded once. It was at a liquor store, and even then, the clerk just asked me how old I was. The funny thing was that I’d just had a birthday and gave him the wrong age. Tinsley is an excellent bowler, and they find out they both live on the Upper East Side. In her interview, Tinsley says if she wants to bring him home, she’ll have to sneak him in. Why do they have to go to her place? Does he live with his parents? Or six roommates?

Ramona, and friends Missy and Eileen, go for drinks. Ramona isn’t sure what she wants ultimately, and says that she’s enjoying being single. A secret admirer buys Eileen a drink. Ramona complains that he didn’t buy a round for their table. That would certainly be more impressive, but it’s not a requirement. Especially since drinks are like twenty bucks in Manhattan. Ramona spills the beans on all the women’s dating habits, and talks about Luann’s pending marriage. Eileen says she’s the only one who didn’t date Tom. In her interview, Ramona says Missy knows a lot. Eileen says she admires Luann for going all in, but Ramona thinks she’s putting her head in the sand. Missy says she found out that she and Tom weren’t dating anymore when she walked in on him and Luann in a bar. She’d thought they were exclusive. Bleh. Ramona says they have to support each other as women. I do too, but I can live without Ramona’s kind of support.

Luann discusses her wedding makeup with the friend who’s doing it. The wedding planning is taking up all of her time. She says Ramona had a snarky comment about people taking bets about the wedding happening, but for the most part, everyone has been cool. Not like, uncool.

Dorinda is having a charity event for Women for Freedom, which fights human trafficking. She and Carole have come up with items for an auction, and she’s panicking that people won’t bid. She says if no one else does, she will. The other ladies begin to arrive. Tinsley thinks that Bethenny is hot and cold; sometimes she’s super chatty, but then she doesn’t even get a hello. Bethenny has never met Tom, which is a surprise to all of us.

Dorinda thanks everyone for coming. She says it’s the year of giving back and gratitude, and encourages everyone to bid. Bethenny does an imitation of Ramona for Carole that’s spot on. In her interview, Dorinda says one good thing about the event is that it’s big, so people can avoid each other.

Bethenny meets a guy named Milos who she thinks would be good for Sonja. In her interview, Tinsley wonders what’s up with Sonja. When they’re alone, she’s like a mother figure or mentor, but acts like Tinsley is an annoying little sister out in public. Can you say competition? Bethenny tells Sonja about Milos, but she thinks he’s girlfriended up. Bethenny says that he claims to be unattached. Tinsley thinks she might be interested, but it’s too late, Ramona is already there. Sonja says Ramona is flirting on her potential. Some anonymous guy stares at the camera and looks really stupid. Really stupid.

Bethenny says no matter what, homegirl is going down the aisle, but it’s awkward. Luann thanks Bethenny for sticking up for her with Ramona. She says she doesn’t need anything negative. Tom asks what Bethenny is doing for the holidays. In her interview, Luann tells us that Bethenny apologized to him for what went down in Miami, and Tom was gracious and brushed it off.

No one is bidding. Dorinda says to tell the bartender to cut off the drinks until people make the rounds of the items. Bethenny gets an idea for charity whores. They’re similar to the girls who flirt to get men to buy champagne at strip clubs, but they get them to bid on things. Luann starts with a Givenchy bag. She’s glad there’s Christmas cheer at this Christmas party. Unlike last year when Sonja went bonkers over not being invited to the Berkshires. Carole has a conversation with a woman named Barbara, and they believe that Luann would rather get married and divorced than call it off, even though Tom is still playing around. In her interview, Carole says Luann is the great pretender and doesn’t want to be seen faltering.

Next time, Frederick from Million Dollar Listing: New York looks at a property with Bethenny, Carole and Ramona discuss Tom, Dorinda’s cake falls over, and Dorinda asks Luann if she trusts Tom.

🎢 Tonight, Andy Cohen’s Then & Now covered 1985. While personally that was quite a year for me, it was also a HUGE year for pop culture. Omg. Madonna, Madonna marrying Sean Penn, Blockbuster Video (be kind and rewind!), Wrestlemania (RIP Rowdy Roddy Piper), Howard Stern, Live Aid, Tipper Gore and offensive lyrics, Bernie Goetz, MORGAN FAIRCHILD! I also enjoyed Dee Snyder doing some commentary. He’s a very smart dude. Oddly, they didn’t mention the year being reviewed next time, but it’s when George Michael came out, Married with Children was popular, and Sinead O’Connor shaved her head. This is a fun show, and the hour just flies by.

⛹ If you’re a man and thinking of wearing a RompHim, a term which Andy Cohen actually coined quite some time ago – no. Just no. I’m begging you. I’d rather see a man bun, and I don’t want to see one of those – ever. And if you’re a woman and thinking of wearing a romper, please look in the mirror before you leave the house.

⚔ Both the bad and good news is that Once Upon a Time is moving to Friday nights next season. It’s good because it competes with other shows I like on Sunday, and at 8 pm, it won’t be competing with Z Nation on Friday. At least as far as I know. The bad news is, Friday night is usually a death knell for a big three network show. A few of the cast members are also leaving. You can read about it here:

http://www.eonline.com/news/850516/once-upon-a-time-is-moving-to-a-new-night-after-cast-shake-up-in-abc-s-fall-2017-schedule

OUAT_2

May17

May 16, 2017 – Nelle is Found, Julius Visits Randal, Naked People on a Boat & Some Extra Stuff

Posted on by
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What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

 

 

General Hospital

Michael sees Nina at the MetroCourt and asks if she’s spoken to Nelle, but she hasn’t, and she hasn’t checked her messages. He says she might want to listen to the message Nelle left; she’s quitting. Charlotte comes running up to Nina. Lulu has her there for ice cream. Lulu tells Nina that no one picked Charlotte up from school, so they called her. Nelle was a no-show.

That’s because she’s unconscious on the docks.

Elizabeth and Franco bring the boys home. Franco tells Jake that he totally scored with his magic act, and they’ll open the rest of the presents tomorrow, when Jason and Sam are there. Ack. This show has a bit of a problem with continuity at times – they said they were doing that yesterday. Elizabeth and Franco go to the kitchen, and Jake tells Aiden not to tell anyone what he saw, not even Cameron. It’s a secret.

Griff is washing up, since we have to see him shirtless as often as possible. He makes a call to Anna and leaves a message. He says he wants to make sure she’s taking care of herself, and if she needs anything, he’s there.

In London, Anna tries to speak, and the doctor calls for a sedative. He prepares the injection, and she says, no, it’s a mistake. He tells Sister Caroline that the patient has to be sedated at all times.

We revisit fake Anna and Valentin’s scene from yesterday. She says she only wants him, and he rips the chimera necklace off of her. He says she just wants the Chimera, and after all this time, he’s a step ahead of her. She squawks about the necklace, and he says that can be fixed, but the watch probably can’t. He tells her that it’s just as well. He doesn’t want anyone listening in on what’s going to happen.

The doctor tells Sister Caroline that the patient is disoriented, and he doesn’t want her causing herself harm. He tells Caroline to do her job and he’ll do his. In her mind, Anna tells herself not to give in and to fight it.

Valentin says the watch explains how “Anna” knew where and when to find him, and why she didn’t want to take the watch back. She admits to spying on him, and says he’s created the life he’s wanted for himself. It includes Nina and Charlotte, but it’s the illusion of a family. They come from the same place and have made the same compromises. Nina will never understand, and maybe that’s why he wants more. Within their lies is a truth that Nina can never understand. Valentin says he understands she wanted the Chimera so much, she was willing to trash his life, so good luck seducing it out of him.

Jake tells Aiden that he wasn’t supposed to see it, and Jake is the only one who can use it. Elizabeth and Franco come back in. Elizabeth thinks Aiden is tired, so she sends him upstairs. Jake won’t let Franco touch the box, saying a magician never gives up his secrets. Franco says he has a point. Franco asks if he wants to do an encore of last year for the Nurses Ball, but Jake wants a solo. He’s going to do magic.

Griff sees Charlotte at the bar eating ice cream. I guess Port Charles has no laws prohibiting children sitting at bars like like we do IRL. He tells her that he and her father had angry words, but he didn’t mean to scare her. He asks if they can be friends. Charlotte says she’s supposed to be polite to him. He asks if he can join her.

Lulu doesn’t understand why Valentin can’t be bothered to pick up his messages. Nina says he was otherwise engaged. She asks Lulu if she didn’t want to spend more time Charlotte. They all wonder where Nelle is. Michael leaves to find out. Lulu says Nina is being quiet, and Nina says her feelings are none of Lulu’s business. Lulu says as Charlotte’s mother, she has a right to know what’s going on, and she’d care less about Nina’s life if it didn’t impact her daughter’s.

Charlotte shares her ice cream with Griff. She shows him a flyer for a spring festival at her school. He thinks she should invite everyone. She says she’ll invite him if he doesn’t fight with her poppa. He apologizes for losing his temper, and asks her to forgive him.

Nina tells Lulu sorry that she’s not getting dramatic, but she’s trying to show Charlotte that when things don’t go your way, you adjust and move on. Michael comes back, telling them that the housekeeper at Windemere hasn’t seen Nelle, even though all of her things are there, and Nelle isn’t answering her phone. He wants to go out to Windemere, and Nina tells him to call them when he finds out anything. Nina says she doesn’t have time to deal with Lulu. Lulu says Charlotte thought her father left her like Claudette did. Nina says he would never do that. Lulu says to tell Valentin it’s going to cost him. Nina says tell him herself, because she’s not going back to Windemere.

Elizabeth asks if Jake feels better about things. Franco says he was on the island and it’s a scary place. Jake says he’s not scared anymore. Franco suggests he practice some magic.

Sister Caroline says she’s grateful for the doctor saving “Alex’s” life. He tells her that he doesn’t need her gratitude, just her cooperation. Anna thinks, just help me, and Caroline tells her not to fight it, and just rest.

Valentin says “Anna” didn’t care about the reach of the Chimera when she asked him to steal it, now she’s using her powers for good? She says it’s for them. He calls her delusional and arrogant. (Who else is delusional and arrogant? Keep thinking.) She says their pull toward each other is stronger than the lies they tell themselves. He’s still alive because she cared about him. She gets testy about the Chimera, and says just tell her where it is, so it can be over. Then she corrects herself, saying then they can be together, if he wants.

Lulu asks Nina if there’s trouble. Nina says she’s going to be working into the night, and so is Valentin. Griff joins them with Charlotte, and tells them he was invited to the spring festival. Nina says it’s Charlotte’s night, and she can invite whoever she wants. Charlotte goes to get her backpack, and Lulu says Charlotte is coming home with her.

Michael calls out for Nelle at the docks. He sees the crates toppled, and finds her. He tells her she’s going to be okay, and calls 911. Yeah. You’re the jerk who left her there alone in the dark, when there have been 47 murders there.

Franco shuffles the cards. Elizabeth picks one. Jake says don’t show it to him. He makes the correct guess, a queen of hearts. Franco says they’re all queens, and turns them over. Sure enough, they are. Jake says not all, and tells Franco to look in his wallet, where he finds a king of hearts. Jake says a magician never tells his secrets, and goes upstairs. Franco says he must have done it at the park, and Elizabeth says maybe he can do magic. They agree it’s good to see him acting normal.

“Anna” tells Valentin that it’s always been about them and what they need. Passion and betrayal goes hand in hand. If he didn’t want it as much as she did, he wouldn’t have let Nina leave. She talks about what she heard when listening in, and says the marriage was never going to last, because Nina doesn’t know who he really is. He tells her to stop it. She asks if he’s going to kill her or make love to her. I was actually hoping for him ripping off her mask.

Nelle is brought into the hospital. Michael says she came to briefly and seemed to recognize him, but he thinks she was attacked. Her purse and phone are nowhere to be found. He tells them she only has one kidney. Griff wheels her in.

Nina tells Lulu not to be ridiculous; Charlotte is coming with her. Lulu asks if she’s going to sleep on the office floor, and says she’s taking her home. Nina says if the judge finds out, Lulu is going to have a problem, but Lulu says the judge will see that Valentin’s perfect life isn’t so perfect. Nina says they didn’t call her, and Lulu says that’s because she’s not Charlotte’s mother. Nina says she couldn’t love Charlotte more if she’d given birth to her. Lulu says she should want what’s best for Charlotte then.

Franco moves in for a kiss, but Elizabeth is like, not now. He says she was glad to see him at the park, but she says the problem is that he lied. He says he just left out some details. She says she thought they were in it together, and he tells her that she would have tried to talk him out of it. They argue a little, say I love you, and kiss.

“Anna” asks why Valentin is doing this, when what they want is to be together. He says they don’t always want what’s best for themselves. She asks what’s the alternative, deny what they want? She says separately, they’re forces to be reckoned with, but together, they’re unstoppable. No more games. He says she’s right. Game over. She loses.

Caroline tells real Anna, sorry, and calls her Dr. Merrick. Anna thinks she has to resist, but the more she fights, the weaker she becomes. She tells herself it’s like a current, and to slip away and rise to the surface. She tries to mess with the tube in her arm, and Caroline starts to call for Dr. Lancaster, but Anna grabs her arm.

Elizabeth says that Franco was trying too hard to protect her, and he says that she was trying too hard to protect him from Jason. He says whatever should come up in their lives together, he’ll trust her. She says from now on she’ll trust that he can take risks. He thinks they’re good at the relationship thing. They kiss some more, and Jake comes downstairs.

Charlotte says she’s ready to go home. Lulu asks if she’d like to spend night. Nina says she and Charlotte’s poppa are both working late, and she can do a sleepover. Charlotte agrees and leaves with Lulu.

Anna wonders why she’s there at the hospital. Caroline says Dr. Lancaster found her in her flat. Anna says that’s not right, and Caroline says she’s just disoriented and she’ll get the doctor.  Anna says, please don’t. She’s not Alex; she’s Anna Devane.

“Anna” tells Valentin there’s still a way they can both win. Tell her where the Chimera is, and they’ll both be free and be equals. They’ll be two people who understand each other. Valentin tells her that the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over, and expecting a different result, but he says that’s not true. It’s really drinking the same poison over and over, and thinking you can handle it. He’s been addicted to her, but he’s cured now. She says just like that, and he says it’s like a fever broke, and he knows what he has to do. He grabs a scarf and begins to wrap the ends around his hands, saying she’s pushed him too far. He comes toward her.

Michael remembers his last conversation with Nelle, and telling her she had no reason to stay. Griff is concerned with potential kidney trauma.

Jake forgot his magic box. Elizabeth says they’ll be back after tucking Aiden in. When they’re gone, Jake opens the box.  He takes out the Chimera. He says he wishes he was a real magician, because he’d make it disappear and would never have to think about it again.

Caroline tells Anna that she’s Alex Merrick. Anna says she doesn’t know how she got here, but the doctor is in on it. Caroline says this is her clinic, and that the doctor will explain everything. Anna stops her, and says she’s not sick. She’s being held against her will and Caroline has to help her. Dr. Lancaster overhears and makes a mean soap opera face.

Nina looks at her ring. She remembers Valentin giving it to her. Valentin walks in, and says he has so much to tell her. She asks if he was with Anna. He says he was, and thanks her for forcing him to admit what he knew all along – Anna was playing him. He says she won’t be coming between them again – ever.

Tomorrow, Valentin says he’ll get Nina to trust him again, Lulu says life is full of unexpected surprises, Martina tells Sonny that he has the most to lose, and Dr. Lancaster asks what’s going on.

If Loving You is Wrong

The officer, whose name no one ever says, tells Kelly he has a warrant for her DNA. She says she had nothing to do with Ramses’ murder, but he says since she’s been in the house, they need to exclude her. Kelly starts to argue, and he says they have to eliminate everyone who was there. Kelly says she’s not doing anything without a lawyer; she doesn’t trust him. He asks if her temper gets her in trouble. He tells Kelly that she can call her lawyer, but he has an actual warrant, and asks what it’s going to be. She says fine, take it. She sees Travis and is like, wth?

Commercial break with vital information. The Haves and the Have Nots is back on June 20.

Travis says that he got a call from his parents that he was wanted at the station. Kelly starts making a fuss, so Rick takes her to get the test done. The officer tells Travis that he didn’t listen to Rick when he told Travis to stay away from Kelly, so stay away. Travis insists she wanted him to pick up Justice, and asks if he has to call every time Kelly wants a favor. The officer doesn’t understand why he would help her if she’s so crazy. Travis says he’s a child of God and she asked for help, and the officer says even God wants him to use common sense. Travis says he has the evidence. The officer says he has a restraining order against her too, so stay away from both Kelly and Justice, and block her number. Travis asks if he can go, and the officer tells him have a nice day, but won’t shake his hand. Officer No-Name and I didn’t start off on the right foot, but he’s growing on me. I have the feeling he’s thinking more than he’s saying.

Kelly asks the officer if he’s just going to let Travis leave. He says he told Travis to stay away from her and block her number. She asks what happened to serving and protecting. He says he’s seen this kind of situation go bad. She says she hasn’t done anything. He says, sorry. She walks out, and he calls after her, saying that she should really let this go.

Esperanza is watching the kids in the park. She calls Kelly, and asks what happened. Kelly says she doesn’t want to know. Esperanza tells her that she has Justice. Kelly asks why Alex is always leaving people’s children, and Esperanza says they both called and texted her five times. Kelly tells her about how Travis was let go. Esperanza says ever since the captain’s been gone, nothing has been done right, so she’s going to check into it. Kelly says the officer gave him a warning, but Travis isn’t going to listen. She says she’s never had a man like this before. Esperanza says she has, and Kelly is doing all the right things. She asks about the restraining order, and Kelly says she has to get a new lawyer. She tells Esperanza about them wanting DNA because she was in Ramses’ house. Esperanza says she had to do it once, and it’s normal procedure. Esperanza offers to drop off Justice, and Kelly says she’ll watch Alex’s kids until she gets home. I have to add that Esperanza is not dressed like anyone dresses to play with kids in the park. She’s wearing a tight sweater that couldn’t be cut any lower, and velvet pants. And boots. I didn’t notice what kind of heels they had. I was too busy staring at her cleavage. Geez.

Natalie’s phone rings. It’s a collect call from Joey in prison. He says he’s sorry, and asks how she is. She asks if they’re taking care of him, and he says he’s fine. He tells her that it’s his fault; he shouldn’t have carried the gun. She says he shouldn’t have, but she’s glad he did. If he hadn’t had the gun, he’d be dead. She tells him she loves him, and he says he loves her too. She tells him everything is going to be okay, and she’s getting him out of there. He says that would be great, but he just wants her to be happy. The recording tells them one more minute. Natalie says he makes her happy, and Joey thanks her for saying that. She says he was doing good. He could have gone back out on the streets, but didn’t; she’s proud of him. They have thirty seconds, and say another I love you. Natalie says she’ll see him soon, and he says he’ll be waiting. She hangs up, and starts to cry.

Lushion comes in, and Natalie says she’s all right. He says no she’s not, but it’s okay. He tells her to take a break, but she says she has too much to do. He says to let it go and let her heart break. She cries on his shoulder. He says he’s got her, and rocks her like a baby. Lushion is the best.

There’s a knock at Randal’s door. It’s Julius. Randal and I make the same astonished face, and Randal says it’s a surprise. Julius asks to come in. He says that Randal has done something different with the house, but Randal says he just had the carpets cleaned. There are no carpets, so I don’t know what to think about that. Do you send carpets out to be cleaned? Julius tells Randal that his father cut him out of the will, and it’s because Randal gave the attorney an evaluation of him. He reads from it. It says, among other things, that he’s a narcissist, and for his own good, shouldn’t be in control of anything without a trustee. Randal says he’s sorry. He and Julius Sr. had a history; he’d testified in a lot of his court cases. Julius says his father is gone now, but he’s going to give Randal an opportunity to right this wrong. He wants him to rewrite the evaluation. Randal says sure. Julius says make sure he gets it to the attorney, who’s his attorney now.

Julius says he heard some racist wanted to hang Randal. Randal says it’s true. Julius says if the evaluation had gone to the court, he would have wished they’d succeeded. He changes his mind, saying that he’ll pick up the evaluation himself. Randal says he’ll have it by tomorrow, and the next one will be so much better. He tells Julius that his attorney will have to sign and notarize it. Julius says when his attorney’s hand is better, he will, explaining that he was stabbed with a letter opener. He asks Randal if they’re friends, and Randal says sure. Julius hugs him. He tells Randal, burn him again, he’ll be the one who hangs Randal. Randal isn’t having the best week, but that’s okay with me.

Eddie bursts into Brad’s office. Brad asks Eddie to leave him alone. Eddie gets loud about Lushion banging Brad’s wife. He tells him on top of it, Lushion is undercover FBI. Brad tells him the drugs are making him paranoid. Eddie says he’s working on proof. Brad says he has a client coming, and Eddie has to leave. Alex walks in, and Eddie wastes no time in calling her a slut. Brad says Eddie is leaving, but Eddie says he’s not letting her work her snake charm on him, because he doesn’t understand what a snake charmer does. Brad pushes him out the door and I laugh. Eddie is a borderline comic character to begin with, since he’s so ridiculous.

Brad tells Alex, sorry, and asks what’s up. She says she doesn’t know; she doesn’t even know why she’s there. She just wanted to see him. She says she’s sorry. She knows she’s said it a million times, and Brad says they both have. She says he didn’t do anything, and he says he called her parents. She says she did that too. He asks what now, and she says she wants to thank him for saving her son. He tells her she’s welcome. She knows the kind-hearted man she fell in love with is still in there, and wants to thank him.

Idiot Eddie comes back in with Marcie. Brad pushes him back out the door again, and I laugh again. Brad asks what Marcie is doing there. She says she came to take him to dinner, and calls him her handsome lover. Brad says he told her to stop doing this. Alex says bye, and Marcie taunts her as she leaves. Brad asks why she’s doing this, and she says, sorry. Brad tells her that he can’t go to dinner, and Marcie asks what Alex wanted. Brad says she thanked him for saving her child. I wonder why Marcie acts like she’s high half the time. He tells her he has to get back to work, and she leaves. Someone get Brad some Tylenol.

Pete calls Lushion and asks if it’s true that Andrew is missing. Lushion says it is, and Pete asks if it was Eddie. Lushion thinks it was, and Pete says he has to be stopped. Lushion is thinking it needs to go to the FBI, but thinks they’re already on to it. He asks Pete why he thinks the FBI guy is outside his door. Pete asks about the tape, and Lushion says they couldn’t find it. He tells Pete that the most important thing is stopping Eddie. Lushion says the FBI is already outside his door, but if he wants to, go for it. Pete says they have to find Andrew, and Lushion says they’re trying. Pete thinks Ben might know. He was outside trying to distract the officer when Eddie tried to put a needle in Pete’s IV. Lushion says to make sure he tells them that too. Pete thinks Andrew might be dead, since Eddie is a stone-cold killer. Lushion tells him to tell the officer everything, and says he’ll drop by later.

Randal goes to Marcie and Brad’s apartment, with the excuse that he brought her mail. He talks about what a dump it is and she says it’s better than a shed for sex. She tells him to get out, but he won’t leave. He asks what’s in the other room. She says the bed where they have sex every night, now go. He says he’s not done yet, and she says fine, he can watch how she greets Brad. Randal says if she has to say how great he is, he must be terrible. Marcie says she used to say the same about him, and pretends to fake it. She says it’s called acting, and asks why he’s there. He thought she might want to know the child might not be his after all. She doesn’t care. He says it might be Lushion’s and she tells him to get out with all of it. She says he’s trying to get her to make trouble for Natalie, but he says he already told her, and he’s surprised they didn’t break up. Marcie says they’re solid, and he says maybe Natalie isn’t as “ghetto-dumb” as he thought. Randal says it smells like broke in the apartment, and Marcie says in a minute it will smell like glorious sex. She says next time he wants to spread a lie, find someone stupid. He tells her he misses her and that she must miss it. She tells him to get out. He finally leaves.

Kelly has a flat tire. She changes her shoes, saying if it’s not one thing, it’s another. She opens the trunk and Travis pops out, scaring us both. He throws her down, and puts his hand over her mouth. He asks why she went to the cops, and threatens to kill her. She struggles and tries to scream, and he puts one hand over her mouth and the other on her throat.

Next time, Lushion can’t get anything out of Alex about Andrew, Brad talks to Alex, and Lushion tells Eddie to get out of his face. There’s one more episode before the finale.

Below Deck Mediterranean

We flash back to the crew’s night out and Bobby going apesh*t on Hannah for basically no reason. She asks what she’s done to him, and he says she threw him under the bus. Malia says they weren’t talking about him, but he doesn’t believe it. Hannah keeps asking what she said, and he finally closes the door in her face. She calls him a steroid injected d*ckhead, and says she’ll be remembering the conversation for a long time.

In the morning, Hannah and Malia whisper about what happened. Hannah says sometimes Bobby’s ego gets overly inflated, and Malia is like, sorry. Meanwhile, Bobby is talking smack about Hannah to the deckhands. Hannah tells Lauren that Bobby went psycho. Lauren says she doesn’t remember Hannah ever saying anything bad about him. In her interview, Lauren tells us that she was supposed to go on a date with Bobby, and he brought a couple of other girls along. They ran into Hannah, who couldn’t believe it, and told Lauren it was disrespectful. That never happened to me, but I’m pretty sure if it had, I would not have gone on the date.

The primary guest is a dude named Jim aka Mr. Skin, who has a website devoted to nakey celebs. His wife Michele and some key employees will also be in attendance. Hannah remembers the Tilted Kilt cruise, and how it didn’t end well with one of the crew members. As usual, there are a million dietary restrictions, which are different for everyone, and the guests also want to film a naked news segment.

Bobby tells Lauren that he wants to talk to Hannah, but Lauren doesn’t want to get involved. He says it’s happening, and she tells him to work it out with Hannah himself. He says he’s pulling her in and she’d better have his back. Bobby put the d in d-bag.

Chef Adam goes shopping at the outdoor market. Supplies are brought on board. In her interview, Hannah says there’s no coming back from the altercation with Bobby.  Wes almost puts regular cardboard in the microwave.

Bobby apologizes for insulting Hannah, BUT (Dr. Phil would say that negates the apology) says all he could think about is her trashing him to Lauren. Hannah says all she told Lauren was that it was unfair of him to bring other women on their date. A-hole Bobby calls Lauren to come to the deck. He’s annoyed that Hannah called him aggressive. Maybe he doesn’t know what that word means, because his picture is the definition. Lauren joins them, saying to call her the liar. She says they were drinking, and she doesn’t even remember what was said. She asks why he’s so upset, and he says the two of them are playing games. Lauren asks to go back to her work, and Bobby asks why she doesn’t go screw Ben. Ben gets my vote, but where did that come from, especially since he’s not on this charter?

In his interview, Bobby talks about taking Lauren somewhere, and her leaving with Ben. That actually sounds like poetic justice, considering that he brought extras to their date. Hannah says this has nothing to do with her, but Bobby insists they’re conspiring against him. Lauren calls Ben. She tells him she’s getting along great with Hannah. In her interview, she says that she and Ben hit it off, and he’s more her type than Bobby. She tells Ben about Bobby being a jerk, and telling her to go off with him. She tells Ben she misses him, and he says ditto.

Bobby calls his mommy. He tells her he’s been blindsided and duped. He says he got screwed over by Lauren. His mother’s heart is broken. In his interview, he tells us that he took this job to meet women. How’s that workin’ for ya? He starts bawling about some woman named Alex. He claims her mother thought he didn’t make enough money. His mom heaps him with praise, and makes raise-the-roof hand gestures.

Hannah has a stew meeting. She explains what Mr. Skin does, how tacky it is, and tells them there’s going to be a naked news filming.

Captain Sandy wants to make sure the deckhands can drop anchor successfully, and has them practice. In his interview, Bobby says that the captain doesn’t get on you when you make a mistake, but you feel it, and it’s worse. I translate that to mean it’s tough for Bobby to actually work and do things right.

Malia chats with Wes while they hose off the deck. Bugs gets a call from her mother. Her grandmother has passed away. Hannah says whatever she needs, she has. The captain talks about losing her mother when she was on a boat, and tells Bugs she’s there for her. In her interview, Bugs tells us how close they were, and how she wants to pull herself together, because it’s what her grandmother would want.

Everyone gets ready to greet the guests. After they arrive, Hannah does the tour. Lauren wants to stay as busy as possible to keep her mind off of idiot Bobby. Captain Sandy instructs the deckhands, while Mr. Skin instructs his employees about the photos he wants. Adam chops fruit. Hannah gives him a list of guest demands. All gluten free. The guests begin to film, and the captain is concerned about a family-centric boat coming past.

Lauren says it’s awkward with Bobby, who’s going out of his way to ignore her. Bugs is asked for help with a shot at the hot tub, and says there are unmentionable parts staring her right in the eyeballs. Wes is hoping not to mess up the anchor with all the naked ladies around.

The lunch table isn’t naked, and is beautifully adorned with a beach theme. Lunch is served. One of the guests is mistakenly served octopus when she opted out of that, but chooses not to get a replacement dish. She says that Adam’s cooking is so good, she might become a convert. Mr. Skin mentions a breast reduction, and one of the women doesn’t understand why anyone would do that. Bobby says you can’t not look.

Bobby wants Malia to know the fun Bobby instead of the pissed off Bobby. That should last all of five minutes. Max is impressed with how well Bugs is holding up. It’s dinnertime. In his interview, Adam says he’s never eaten raw, as one guest has requested, but if something makes him uncomfortable, bring it on. Lauren thinks Bobby has built up resentment from before. Another gorgeous table and meal is presented.

Lauren asks to talk to Bobby. She hates confrontation, and wonders if he wants a hug or milkshake. In her interview, Bugs says losing her grandma is one of many challenges, and she’s proud of how she held up. Lauren tells Bobby that she’s sorry she hurt him, however she hurt him. He says he jumped to conclusions about Hannah talking smack about him. Lauren says so did she, confusing Bobby. That’s probably not hard, but it does sound like she’s waffling. She tells him that he needs to own up to things. He’s 31 and a grown-ass man. He got drunk, and attacked both her and Hannah. They end up with no resolution and time wasted. No surprise. I don’t like the way Lauren is playing both sides – no doubt to avoid a conflict, but just making it worse – but Bobby is one of those people who will never admit he’s wrong.

Captain Sandy wants a rock to tie on; it helps to create a private sanctuary among the cliffs for the guests. Bobby complains to Wes in the crew mess. Lauren suggests they take it to their room instead of making it awkward. In the galley, Lauren asks if she can talk to Hannah. Hannah jokes around, asking Adam what he did to her. They go out on the deck, and Lauren tells Hannah about Bobby talking smack to the deckhands about her, making her uncomfortable. In her interview, Hannah says she has no time for tears and tantrums, but she’s concerned with Lauren’s well-being at work. She tells her not to let it affect her mentally.

Another glorious meal happens. Max and Wes go out to put a chain on the rocks they’ll anchor to. The guests are impressed with the location, which is beyond beautiful, with a private grotto. Bobby is stressed because he knows the captain is watching. She tells them excellent job. More food! A sink starts to overflow. Adam, Hannah, and Malia all help Lauren, who is desperately bailing water out of it. Hannah says it’s their job to make sure the guests don’t know what’s happening. The water finally starts to recede.

Some guests take photos and others play in the water. The wind picks up, and the boat is getting too close to the cliffs. Captain Sandy wants Max to push the boat with the tinder, but he seems to be ignoring her.

Next time, Lauren thinks it’s unfair, Adam gets stressed and snippy, and there are issues with the anchor chain.

🍸 I checked out What Happens at The Abbey. It looks like a trash heap. The Abbey is a celebrity bar in Hollywood that’s gone through several incarnations. One bartender tells us if you have a dream, it’s the place to make it come true, but I find that hard to believe. Another says it’s the only place where a lesbian and a straight woman will fight over who’s going to have a gay man’s baby. I’ll take their word for it. Some guy named Daniel tells us he started the man bun, and I hate him already. After the first couple of minutes, I wonder if I can even watch this, and then Brandi Glanville walks in, and I’m pretty sure I can’t. She’s just as creepy as ever. As a matter-of-fact, most of these people seem creepy. And needless to say, extremely into themselves. There was an upside when Tori Spelling arrived. I’ve loved her ever since I saw her in Trick. If you’ve never seen that movie, I highly recommend it, especially if you like musicals. The plot revolves around a gay guy who’s writing a musical, and Tori is his best friend. She also has the Best. Monologue. Ever. Said guy, played by Christian Campbell, is also trying to get his date alone, but everything possible happens to thwart them. It’s very sweet and clever, and his song that keeps cropping up, Enter You, will be your ear worm forever. The fact that I got so off track just goes to show how bad The Abbey is, and how I want to get it out of my mind as quickly as possible.

🚛 I also watched one of my favorites, Hoarders. I also love Hoarding: Buried Alive, but, same thing. They were airing quite a few of them, and the last episode I caught showed two fails, which is unusual. One was a woman who was of the mindset that when the world was in its last days, people would come to her for stuff. Because we’ll all need moldy blankets and broken birdcages. She just wouldn’t accept that she had a mental disorder or accept the help, although for a while, they moved things from pile to pile. At the end, Corey talked about her victim mentality, and that she’ll have the perverse satisfaction of thinking that she’s been screwed over again. The other hoarder was also a woman, and they were able to clear out her place, but she wasn’t happy because of what she had to give up. More moldy blankets and broken birdcages. She had a really cute home when it was over too. I thought it was brave of the program to air unsuccessful efforts.

Why should they have to lose any more than they’d lost? – Hoarding: Buried Alive

May16

May 15, 2017 – Valentin is a Step Ahead, a Southern Quail Hunt & Some Tidbits

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What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

 

 

General Hospital

The DA tells Julian that he has an offer. If Julian plays his cards right, he can be a free man and be out within the hour.

Scotty sees Alexis at the courthouse, and asks if she’s there for Julian’s arraignment.

Jason gets home. He tells Sam that he was worried about Scout because of her texts, but Sam says it’s all good. She asks what happened on Cassadine Island, and he says Franco followed him.

Franco finds Elizabeth at the park with the kids. She asks where he’s been and what happened to his face. He says it’s the thanks he got for helping Jason. She asks if he went to the island, and he says he was pivotal in the trip’s success. He asks where Jake is. He’s busy playing with the Chimera Project. Don’t touch that, kid! You’ll blow us all up…or something.

“Anna” and Valentin go to her house. She breaks out the liquor. She says she’s glad he changed his mind about seeing her. He opens a bottle of wine. She says he’s a study in contradiction, and he says after all these years, she’s still a mystery, and it’s like he doesn’t know her. I’ll bet he does, and I’ll bet I do too. You know who she really is, right? Think, people!

In London, the real Anna wakes up. The nurse asks if she knows where she is.

Alexis tells Scotty she’s there to meet with the bar association. He says good luck with that; they probably aren’t happy with her going off with Julian of her own volition. She says all she did was tell the truth. Scotty says that Julian is still on the hook for Olivia-J’s crimes, and no one is going to get him off.

The DA tells Julian that he’s looking at quite a few life terms unless he chooses not to prosecute. He has a proposal.

Jason tells Sam tjay Franco is fine, but he had to hire a local to unshackle him – it’s a long story. He says Franco was helpful though. It turned out the scarecrow is Jason.

Franco explains to Elizabeth how he beat on Jason, so Jason could get his memory back. He says Jake witnessed Jason being shackled to a wall and beaten, and must have heard about Jason killing people. He asks how Jake is. Elizabeth says he seems fine, and was excited to get a birthday gift from Spencer. Elizabeth calls to Jake, and he closes the magician’s box quickly. She asks why he doesn’t want to play with his brother, and he says he doesn’t like soccer. Franco wants to take a look at the box, but Jake won’t let him.

“Anna” tells Valentin that there’s no mystery anymore. She knows what she did to him, and regrets it. She wants to reverse the events she set in motion. He says she might have wanted to discuss the Chimera Project, but he wanted to see her for other reasons. Nina left him because of her.

The nurse tells Anna that she’s Sister Caroline, and they’ve been caring for her at the clinic. Anna remembers herself saying that her name isn’t Alex; she’s Anna Devane.

Scotty wonders if Alexis thinks that she can get Julian a better defense than him. She says she doesn’t have time for this. He tells her that the state’s case is very strong. Olivia-J is locked away and can’t testify, so they’ll use the evidence against Julian.

The DA tells Julian that he can secure conviction, but Julian is just an accessory, and Olivia-J isn’t fit to stand trial. He says a conviction against Julian is nothing, but a conviction against Sonny is a feather in his cap. He didn’t actually use that term, but I like it. He says they’ll keep him under surveillance while he goads Sonny. When Sonny comes after him, they arrest Sonny. Everybody wins.

Jake tells Franco that the box is for magician’s eyes only. Franco says he’s right; a magician never reveals is tricks. Elizabeth suggests they get some food, and then Jake can practice his magic. Jake leaves the box behind.

Jason tells Sam about his memory of being beaten. Helena said something about how now he kills for her. Then she was talking to someone outside of his sightline. He thinks it was Jake, and that Jake overheard Helena’s plan for him. Sam thinks he must have been scared. Well, yeah. Jason says he looked so different then, and it must be hard for him to differentiate. Sam says it’s a lot to process, and she can’t imagine Jake doing it. Jason makes a call to Elizabeth. He says he needs to see Jake. She says she heard about his trip, and tells him where they are. She tells Jake that his dad is coming by to see him. Now they can celebrate his birthday and open his presents. Jake asks about Jason being different, and Elizabeth says Jason is still his dad. Jake says that he never wants to talk about it – ever.

Valentin tells “Anna” that he loves Nina, and took his vows seriously. If he thought about Anna at all, it was as an adversary, but now he can’t blame Nina for leaving him.

Real Anna can’t talk, and seems terrified. Caroline says she knows it’s frightening, but she’s in good hands. She explains that a Dr. Lancaster found her in her flat and brought her there.

The DA says Julian’s freedom in exchange for evidence against Sonny. Julian says no deal. The DA says it’s a onetime offer, not to be repeated. Julian says it’s not for him. The DA says suit yourself. Sonny is notoriously hard to convict, and there’s no guarantee of success anyway. Julian’s conviction is a sure thing. Scotty comes in, and on his way out, the DA says the arraignment has been postponed. Scotty asks Julian what happened. Julian says the DA thought he had an offer that Julian couldn’t refuse, but he did.

Caroline asks Anna if she can say something, but Anna passes out before she can form actual words. Caroline runs to get the doctor.

Valentin tells “Anna” that he still feels something for her, just as strong today as years ago. Anna says she does too, but she tried to fight it out of respect for his marriage. She wants things clean between them, and no wreckage left behind, like the Chimera Project. Whoever this is (if I’m not right, I’ll be surprised) must think Valentin is an idiot.

Jason comes to the park. He says he has to talk to Jake about what he remembers. Elizabeth says he was concerned about Jason, and Franco adds that he doesn’t want the conversation. Jason says he needs to talk to him alone. He asks Jake if they can go for a walk. Franco says he hopes that Jason knows what he’s doing. Sam says at least he didn’t lie about his intentions like Franco did. I like Sam, but she frequently annoys me when I think she should be smarter than she’s acting.

Jason tells Jake that they need to have a father/son serious talk. He says before the birthday blast, he needs Jake to understand that he shouldn’t worry about him – or the scarecrow.

Scotty tells Julian that the DA should be dealing with his attorney for a plea deal. Julian says the DA wanted him to provoke Sonny to get evidence against him. He says the DA never mentioned immunity, and there’s no statute of limitations for murder, so the DA could have nailed him again in the future. Scotty says his sister was sloppy, and when they find Julian guilty, to remember that he screwed up Scotty’s winning streak.

Scotty sees Alexis in the hallway, and asks if her meeting was postponed too. She says it was brief, and Scotty says he has an idiot for client, and Julian is going to prison. Alexis says maybe she can talk sense into him. She goes in to see Julian.

Caroline tells the doctor that Anna was responsive, and then passed out. She says that Anna was trying to speak.

Valentin tells “Anna” that it’s been decades since he sold the Chimera Project. She says it’s her fault it’s out there, and it should be locked in a WSB lab. Valentin says they can’t be trusted, since they created it. He tells Anna again that the buyer is dead, and all the years it was in their possession, it was never deployed. He says there’s nothing to worry about, and asks if it’s the only reason she wanted to see him. She tells him that she tried to respect his marriage, but now that Nina is gone, they can talk about what they can be together.

Franco tells Sam that in a perfect world, they wouldn’t have to see each other. Sam is pissed off because he got involved, but he says he recreated the activity to spark Jason’s sense memory, and it worked. Elizabeth says what matters is Jake.

Jake doesn’t want to talk about when Jason looked different. Jason says he’s Jake’s dad, and it’s his job to help him get through difficulties; sometimes it’s best to face it straight on and talk about it. He says there’s nothing Jake can’t discuss with him because he loves him so much. If there’s a problem, there’s a fix. Jake says it’s not about what he did, but what he didn’t do. Jason asks if that’s what he’s been drawing. Jake says, if you see something bad, you tell someone, but there was no one to tell – just “her” and the guard. They were beating Jason up, and Jake couldn’t stop them. Jason says nothing that happened was his fault; he was stuck in a very bad situation. Jake says he knew he liked Jason right away, and calls him the guy with the motorcycle. Jason says the fact that he wanted to help him means everything, and he’s very brave. Jake tells Jason that he didn’t feel brave. Jason says it was one of the worst things anyone could go through, and he survived. He wants Jake to know he loves him, and that woman is gone and can never hurt any of them again. He’ll always be there to protect Jake. Jake looks at the box, and says there’s something else; something he doesn’t know.

Alexis says Julian should think it over, but he says that he doesn’t want to perpetuate the cycle of violence that he started. She asks if that’s the only reason, and he says no.

Jason repeats that Jake can tell him everything, and there’s always a fix for a problem. Jake says he loves Jason and doesn’t care what he looks like; he’s the best dad ever. Jake tells him about the magic set, and says he’s working on his first trick and needs to practice. Jason says Jake can stay and practice, and he’ll keep Aiden busy. They hug. Jason goes back to the picnic.

Jason tells them that Jake is practicing his magic trick. He says Jake told him what he saw on the island, and was mostly upset that he couldn’t do anything about it. He explained to Jake that Helena is gone, and that he was brave for his situation survival. Elizabeth thinks Jake still needs to see Andre, but he’s turned a corner. Jason doesn’t remember any more yet, but tells them about the tree with chimera carved in it, and thinks that’s where Jake got the image.

Jake fingers the Chimera Project. Aiden approaches, and Jake tells him to stay away. He says Aiden can’t tell anyone.

Anna moans. The doctor asks for sedative. The nurse thinks it’s too soon, but he says she’s his patient.

Valentin tells “Anna” to be careful. She talks about how beautiful he is inside. She says he’s strong and handsome and her equal in every way. She doesn’t think they should have any secrets. They kiss.

Julian tells Alexis that the only way he can start over is immunity, and it wasn’t part of the offer. He says he’ll have to pay for what Olivia-J forced him to do. Alexis tells him not to worry yet. He asks about his chances. He gets silence, and says that’s what he thought. Alexis says despite everything that’s happened, she doesn’t want him to go to prison, but has no idea how to stop it

Elizabeth says now they can deal with what Jake saw and experienced. Franco says he owes Jason an apology. Sam asks if he’s talking about the shackles and whacking him around, but Franco says that helped. He’s sorry that he assumed Jake was afraid of Jason instead of afraid for him. Jason says he thought the same thing. He says that he never would have known what was going on without Franco, and thanks him. Elizabeth says they all agree to be careful moving forward, but thinks worst is over.

Jake says, if you see something bad, tell someone, but he can’t tell anyone about this.

Anna mumbles unintelligibly. She sees the doctor and grabs his arm.

“Anna” asks Valentin to make love to her. He asks if it’s really what she wants. His hand hovers around her throat as he caresses her face. He suddenly yanks the chimera necklace off of her, and says for once, he’s a step ahead.

Tomorrow, real Anna says it’s a mistake, Griff wants to join Charlotte for dinner, and Michael finds Nelle unconscious.

Also, the Nurses Ball begins on Monday, with Mario Lopez working the red carpet.

Southern Charm

Omg, Craig’s cat is too cute! Kathryn visits JD (bleh) and Elizabeth. Why? Elizabeth says they’ve missed her. Kathryn wonders why she wasn’t invited to some event, and JD says until they know she’s settled, it’s iffy because they don’t want to go back to the same old with her and Thomas creating drama. Kathryn says she got a text message from Thomas asking if she wants a conversation. She’s concerned he has another motive, since it’s the first time he’s communicated with her in nine months. JD says that he told Thomas there needs to be a resolution. In his interview, JD says it’s complicated, since their dynamic keeps changing. JD tells Kathryn they have to learn to be in the same room. Kathryn says she doesn’t know how to navigate the relationship. Elizabeth says to remove the emotions, and Kathryn says like a business deal. In her interview, Kathryn says she’s worked hard, and maybe it is time for them to communicate. JD thinks she shouldn’t leave things up to the courts.

Shep jogs to Whitney’s place. Whitney wonders if there’s frost in hell. In his interview, Shep says he hasn’t had a drink in five days and thinks he’s proved to himself that he can live without alcohol. No comment. Whitney tells him he should replace alcohol with smoking. Ha-ha!  Although I’m not crazy about Whitney, I do like his sense of humor. Shep thinks they should go on a quail hunt at a private club near Savannah. We see pictures of Shep hunting as he was growing up. He wonders if Craig and Naomie have resolved things. Whitney thinks Naomie is getting tired of Craig’s shtick.

Craig tells the cat that Naomie is going to be late. He wonders if they’re going to be okay, and says it’s scaring him. Naomie arrives home, and Craig concentrates on some paperwork. She asks if he wants to discuss last weekend, and he says he has work to do. She wants him to apologize, but he doesn’t think he was in the wrong. She was out of control, and complained about him being late when she left without him. She tells him to stop making excuses. He says she chose to air their dirty laundry, and she says she was embarrassed about the way he talked to her. She says she doesn’t disrespect him, but he begs to differ, saying she contributes to the problem. Naomie decides that she only wants to discuss the topic further if it’s with a counselor who will tell him he’s wrong. Um… that’s not how any of that works. In his interview, Craig is willing to do whatever it takes. Naomie says on a brighter note, she’s trying to get out of whatever she does on Friday, so she can go on the hunting trip with them. “Brighter” being a matter of perspective. Craig says he doesn’t want anyone getting in their business, and wants them to be on the same team.

Whitney goes shopping for hunting clothes, or what he calls an ensemble. Shep and Austen tag along. Shep explains how it works to Austen, who’s never gone hunting before, and isn’t even sure what quail is. Really? I’ve never gone hunting once, and I know what a quail is. Craig calls Shep from DSG, and asks if he should get snake proof boots. Shep tells him to treat himself, but that a snake is going to get him no matter what. They talk about who’s coming. He thinks Austen is getting cold feet about Chelsea, but in his interview, Austen says he just doesn’t want to discuss her with Shep. Shep has ideas about fixing Austen up with Landon, because he must hate Austen. Whitney picks out some fancy duds, and Shep tells him that it’s not a catwalk, it’s about catching supper. I can’t help thinking the irony is that many cats do catch their supper.

Landon visits Patricia. They sit by the pool, and ask Michael for bourbon slushies. No. Just no. And I like bourbon. Patricia says she called Landon because of how they were talking about love the other night. She thinks Landon and Thomas would make a good match. Michael brings a chewy stick for Chauncey the Pug, and serves it to him with tongs off of a silver plate. Landon says Thomas has a world of problems she can’t even fathom. Patricia says grown-ups do, and you need a mate who’s your equal or better, and that it takes money, honey. She always found older men attractive because they’re established. She has a soft spot for Thomas, who she thinks is an exemplary father.

Thomas gets the kids ready to go to Kathryn’s for the weekend. He says it’s emotional for all of them, and just tough.

Landon tells Patricia that she’ll be nervous until things are settled with Kathryn and Thomas. She says it was crazy when she wasn’t involved, so she can imagine if she was really dating him. Patricia says you have to take risks or you’ll end up leading a life of quiet desperation. That’s a good one.

Everyone gets ready for the hunting trip, double-checking their guns and wardrobes. Shep tells Cameran that he doesn’t think things are working out between Chelsea and Austen, because he wants to stir the pot. Funny, doesn’t sound like it in their car. Cameran asks if Shep gets a “tingle in his britches” over Chelsea. When he says yes, she thinks he’s jealous. Yep. They arrive at the hunting park or whatever it is. Whitney invites Thomas to come for dinner after the hunt, since guns won’t be involved. He’s not allowed around them, being a felon and all.

Cameran asks the manager about other activities, and finds out there’s fishing. She says fishing is safer for her. The last time she tried shooting a gun, she ended up with a scar from dinging herself in the forehead with the scope. They divvy up the rooms, and Austen and Chelsea take a two-bedroom cabin. Whitney looks ridiculous. JD (bleh) and Elizabeth arrive. The manager says the chef will prepare their quail for dinner. Please be an appetizer.

They drive to the hunting spot by a lake. The dogs get ready, and the guide explains how it works. I’m hoping none of the dogs get hurt. Doubly so when Craig shoots too low. Shep gets the first quail. Surprisingly, Austen does very well. In his interview, he says he was born for this. Chelsea is impressed.

Cameran goes fishing with Elizabeth. She prefers the leisurely pace. She catches something, but it’s gone when she lifts the line out of the water, and somehow, her line becomes a tangled, unusable mess. Naomie joins them.

JD (bleh) says Whitney is ready for a photo shoot. Yeah, for a British hunting magazine in the 1940s. Shep asks Craig if he patched things up with Naomie, and he says they did. He tells Shep that he’s a private person, and was annoyed about her opening her mouth.

Naomie tells the girls that she wasn’t okay with what Craig said. She doesn’t want it to turn into a Thomas and Kathryn situation. Well, unless she’s having his children, that’s highly unlikely.

The gang gathers for appetizers. Beef tartare is involved, and it looks awesome. Shep tries to call Austen, but gets voicemail. He leaves a message that dinner is fast approaching. Landon is an idiot who wears blinders, and asks if Austen and Chelsea are together. She talks about taking a picture of them, and when she suggested it for an engagement photo, neither one said no. Shep ends his personal prohibition, and has a drink. In her interview, Cameran doesn’t think a week is sufficient to get rid of the liver enzyme, but the heart wants what it wants.

They move to the main dining area for dinner. Chelsea and Austen finally show up. Chelsea calls Austen a badass, and he talks about his hunting success. In his interview, Shep says he thinks Austen is taking notes on what Chelsea likes because he wants to get laid. Cameran asks what they were doing, and Austen says “things.” She asks if they’re sharing a bed and Chelsea says that’s to be determined. In her interview, she thinks Shep has lost out with Chelsea. Ya think?

Thomas arrives. Landon wants to keep her distance, since Patricia is playing matchmaker, and she doesn’t want to give him the wrong idea. Shep tells Cameran that he thinks something is going on between Austen and Landon, because he just can’t stand losing. Landon’s website is discussed. She says she thinks if she keeps trying, she’ll turn into a diamond. No comment. Cameran wonders why Shep would even care if he didn’t have a thing for Chelsea.

Dinner arrives, and it’s another gorgeous presentation. Naomie asks Thomas about the kids, and he talks about making funny faces at them. Everyone wants to see because they’re also children. Thomas says he’d never thought about being a father, because he’s another child. Whitney asks if things are amicable with custody, and Thomas says he wants their mom to be happy and participate. JD and Elizabeth actually stick up for Kathryn, and say she should be given a second chance. Cameran wonders why anyone would believe Kathryn has changed. Thomas says he reached out to her. In her interview, Landon says Kathryn will never be out of the picture, and she’ll always be hesitant to be involved with Thomas. The group moves on to serious drinking. Shep falls on the floor, and Austen and Chelsea call it a night.

The next morning, it’s time to go, and Shep says he’s back on the wagon. Chelsea and Austen are still in bed. Chelsea says he should be a real man, and make breakfast. Shep says he was a real man, and hunted dinner. He wonders if they should let people know their relationship is on another level. She says they both like their independence, and she likes it the way it is. He talks about puppy love, and they declare their like for one another, but Chelsea says she’s weary of relationships. She says neither one of them want anything serious. In his interview, Austen is like, this is backward.

Next time, Landon rides some kind of motor scooter, Craig and Naomie go to counseling, and a stranger declares Thomas and Landon are soulmates. That word makes me cringe, but in this case it might be applicable, since neither of them have souls.

🍹 I’ve been half-watching Southern Charm: Savannah, but the jury is still out. This bunch comes from older money, and is possibly a bit more mature, although it’s really too early to tell. The city is definitely interesting to look at. I wouldn’t mind living there, or Charleston, if it wasn’t for the heat and humidity. Oh, and that I can’t afford it. Two of the cast members are getting married, the twist being that they’re an Episcopalian & Muslim. Needless to say, not all family members are on board. There was a game of strip golf, where the only female player insisted she was doing it for feminism and equality. She also said she wanted to “own” her body, stretch marks and all. We should all look so good. In our lace teddy. Best quote from next week’s preview: Ashley don’t play fair.

🎭 I had just been thinking recently that it would be cool for Andy Cohen to have Laura Linney and Cynthia Nixon on Watch What Happens Live. Mostly because a dear friend took me to see them in The Little Foxes on Broadway, and WWHL is filmed in NYC. The actresses alternate playing the lead roles of Regina and Birdie, and the night we saw it, Linney was playing Regina, and Nixon, Birdie. They’ve also just received Tony nominations for those same roles. Anyway, they were on the show tonight, and it was very engaging. We learned that the reason those particular roles were chosen for the Tonys, was because they were the roles played on opening night. They talked a lot about how interesting and challenging it is to be playing both roles, and called them savory (Regina) and sweet (Birdie). Both actresses were a class act and had great senses of humor.

savannah-georgia

May15

May 14, 2017 – Once Upon a Grand Finale, Atlanta’s Secrets Revealed & Happy Mother’s Day!

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What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

 

 

Once Upon a Time – Two-hour Finale

A guy runs through the forest. He’s being chased by something large. He goes into a cabin, and tells a little girl that she has to run and make sure it stays safe. He says she may be the realm’s only hope to escape the darkness. He tells her that she has to get to safety and share the stories; he’ll stay and fight. She says no one will believe her, but he says someday they will. She leaves, and he draws his sword. Something huge bursts through the door.

In Storybrooke, the Black Fairy’s curse has arrived. Hook wonders where it’s taking them, and Emma says wherever it is, they’ll win.

Henry sits on a roof – alone. He goes down to the street. He sees Archie with Pongo. He asks what the Black Fairy’s curse did, and Archie says he thought they were past all this, and asks if he needs to make an appointment. Henry asks where his mom is, and Archie says the same place she’s been for the last two years.

Emma paints in a class. A nurse comes in and says her son is there for a visit. Yeah, thought so. She’s in a psyche ward. They hug. He says he couldn’t find the rest of their family. She tells him that she’s fought for her progress, and she’s not going down that road again. She says none of them are real, there’s no curse, and it’s just a regular town. Henry tells her that this is how the Black Fairy cursed her, but she says she just wants to get well. She says he tried to prove the stories were real by eating a poisoned apple turnover, and ended up in the hospital, but Henry says that’s not the way it went. The nurse brings Emma’s medication, but Henry doesn’t want her to take it. He shows her the book. She says his mother is going to make him stop visiting if he doesn’t knock it off.

The Black Fairy (Fiona in this realm) approaches. She takes the book, saying that nothing but trouble comes from it. She tells Henry to get to school. He hugs Emma, and whispers in her ear, saying whatever Fiona wants her to do, don’t. He leaves, and Fiona tells Emma to take her medicine. She does.

Everybody else is waking up on a palace floor, dressed in their back-in-the-day outfits. Hook calls for Emma, but Regina says she’s gone. David says it’s their palace. Snow adds that it’s where they got married right before they were cursed. She says curses have never stopped them before.

Archie and Fiona meet with Emma. Fiona says as mayor, she’s concerned about her residents, but Emma says she’s fine. Fiona says Archie’s reports are encouraging, and there may be a release soon. She suggests Emma go back to Boston. She says that she’s not just concerned about Emma’s well-bring, but Henry’s. Emma might be Henry’s biological mother, but now Fiona has a 14-year-old who still believes in fairytales. I guess she’s the Regina of this realm. She says the book has given her an idea. She wants Emma to burn it to show Henry that she doesn’t believe it. Emma says, sorry. She knows the stories are fake, but she doesn’t want to crush Henry. She says she’s not ready, but Fiona says the day will come. Until she’s ready to destroy the book and fantasy world, she’ll stay locked up.

The others watch in a mirror. Regina says the final battle isn’t what they thought it was. Snow says it’s a battle for Emma’s soul and hope. Zelena breezes in with some Munchkins. She escaped Oz with a magic hat. A Munchkin puts it on the ground and beams of light shoot out of it. Zelena pulls back a curtain, but there’s nothing behind it except darkness. Regina says that’s why the Black Fairy wants Emma to destroy the book. As her hope fades, the realms will be erased. Everything starts to shake, and Regina says the realms will be destroyed, along with everything in them.

Fiona visits Gold’s shop. She’s checking to see that everything is as it should be. Gold and Gideon are there. She tells them that she’s brought lunch and a job – her watch has stopped. Gideon takes the lunch in the back, and Gold thanks her. She feels badly for Gideon, and says she’s always concerned when someone has lost their mother. She talks about how sad it is, and says she’ll be back for the watch; she knows she can count on him. She tells him she’s always there to help.

More characters gather at the palace. Aladdin and Jasmine are there. David says the more Emma loses faith, the more realms disappear. Hook thinks he has a theory of where to look for Emma. Regina says what they need is magic; it’s time for her to go to work. Everyone disappears, poof! in some swirls of purple smoke. They appear at Regina’s palace, and she says that she’s getting Henry and Emma back, no matter what it takes.

In her room, Emma does pull-ups with a box spring, a la Sarah Connor in The Terminator. Henry walks in to help her escape. He’s drawn up a plan.

Hook sees a beanstalk in the woods. David shows up, and Hook wonders how David found him. David tells him next time he sneaks off, make sure no Munchkins are around. Apparently, they’re easily bribed. Hook wants to climb the beanstalk and get back to his wife. He says during their first adventure, his motives were less than chivalrous, but they’ve both changed. They fought for their love and won. He has to climb the beanstalk and find the bean. He’s not losing everything because of a bitter fairy. David gets that he’s scared, but tells him to take a deep breath. They’ll climb together.

Henry takes Emma to a roof. He says it’s the last place she saw her family and remembered that she’s the Savior. She says that isn’t real, and he’s not going to convince her that her mother is Snow White. He says she married Captain Hook right here, and she asks if Tinkerbelle officiated. He says no, Jiminy Cricket did. He tries to get her to remember, and she flashes back to kissing Hook at the ceremony. She says she’s been in a mental hospital for years and can’t trust her brain. He says she has to fight. She tells Henry that she doesn’t want to, she just wants to go home to Boston. He says she can’t leave, but she says it’s not forever. He says fine, but it will be safer if she leaves after dark; he knows where Archie keeps the car keys. He says she’s his mom, and he’ll always want to help her; she doesn’t deserve to be locked up. He tells her he’ll be back in an hour, and promises she’ll have the life she always wanted.

Gold looks for something. He pulls out the book that Belle gave to Gideon, Her Handsome Hero. He tells Gideon that he knows it’s not easy to talk about Belle, but she wanted him to have the book. Gideon says that Fiona has been more of a mother to him. Gold asks how much he remembers. Gideon says only what he already told him; she was going to the store, and never came back. Gold says maybe they don’t know the whole story. His mother wouldn’t leave without good reason. Gideon tells him not to rationalize; she didn’t love them, but they don’t need her to have a happy life. He says Gold refuses to see it. Gold says no matter what happened between them, Belle would always want to be part of his life.

Regina stirs a cauldron, while Zelena looks for the ingredients, but they seem to be out of everything. The Evil Queen storms in, and is shocked to find that Regina is back. Regina says, so she’s the one who’s been squatting in her castle. The Evil Queen says she lives there. Everyone there thought she murdered Snow and Charming. After three days of angry villagers, she decided to move into the palace. She says she and Robin turned over a new leaf. Now they steal from rich and give to poor – mostly anyway. Regina says they’re having a bit of a fairy problem.

Fiona finds out that Emma is gone from the hospital.

Henry sneaks around Archie’s office. He finds his story book. Fiona walks in. She tells him that there’s no reason to pretend; they both know she’s not his mother. She says she knows everything. Henry asks what she’s going to do, put him in the crazy house too? She says he’s more useful here. There’s still a speck of belief in Emma that refuses to die off. He says there’s nothing she can do to stop it, and Fiona says there’s something he can do. She zaps him down the stairs, and he lies at the bottom, unconscious.

While watching the ambulance take Henry away, Fiona tells Gold that Henry broke into Archie’s office and tumbled down the stairs. Gold thinks he’s resilient and will be fine. He wants her to reopen the investigation into Belle’s disappearance. She asks why tear open old wounds, and he says they never healed. Gideon needs to know the truth; Belle wouldn’t abandon him for no reason.

Hook and David enter the giant’s castle. The see a humongous dinner table laden with humongous food. Hook says he’s a pirate and has swung from plenty of masts, so he’ll go up. He shimmies up a table leg and wanders among huge sausages and enormous grapes. He sees the bean pod in a display case. He tells David he thinks he found something. He uses a massive knife to smash the glass. He snatches the pod and gets the bean, which is normal-sized, but looks like it’s made of crystal. Everything starts to shake, and Hook says the giant has been woken. A dragon suddenly appears, and starts breathing fire everywhere.

Gold and Fiona sit in her car. Fiona tells Gold she hasn’t been completely honest. She wanted to save them the heartbreak. She shows him pictures of Belle in various vacation spots like she’s that garden gnome. Gold says she wanted to see the world. Fiona says just not with him. She says he’s the one who caused Gideon pain; he couldn’t be the man Belle wanted him to be. She says he can still be the man Gideon needs, and move on. He says it was illuminating, thanks her, and gets out of the car. She looks at the book and finds Henry’s notes, written in runes. She wonders what Henry knows.

Emma visits Henry in the hospital. Fiona says he was trying to steal the book and escape, when he fell down the stairs. Emma says he lied, and he says Fiona is lying – she pushed him. Fiona shows Emma the security footage, asking how she could push him without touching him, but Henry says she used magic. He tells Emma to just touch the book. She takes it, but nothing happens. She says he’s not a kid anymore. It’s not a daring rescue operation. Fiona says what if next time, he breaks his neck instead of his arm? He’s hurting himself to make Emma believe his delusions. Emma says this has to stop. Fiona says she knows what to do. Henry tells Emma to just believe in him. She says believing doesn’t make it true, and he says that’s exactly what it does. He tells her not to go, and that it’s the final battle, but she leaves with Fiona.

David and Hook climb down the beanstalk, but everything starts to shake.

Fiona takes Emma to God knows where, and opens a furnace.

David tells Hook that he thinks they need a bigger boat have a bigger problem than the dragon.

Emma moves toward the furnace. Fiona says go on; only she can save their son. She puts the book in the flames.

The beanstalk sways wildly. The book burns. Emma sees Hook’s picture. The others gather on the palace balcony, while crazy clouds fill the sky. Regina thinks they may be too late. Emma stares at Hook’s picture as it’s consumed by flames.

⚔ Part Two ⚔

The little girl from the beginning walks through the forest with the book. She finds her father’s sword. Tiger Lily appears, and tells her not to cry. She asks where her father is. Tiger Lily doesn’t know, but knows he fought valiantly. She says the book is safe, and they have to bring it to the girl’s mother. Tiger Lily tells her that the future is cloudy, but she and her father will be reunited. She needs to learn the lesson imparted by the book.

Fiona brings Henry the burned book on a food tray like it’s the dead rat in Whatever Happened to Baby Jane? She says whatever hope Emma clung to has been destroyed, along with the book. Henry doesn’t believe it completely. He says they won’t let her win. She says that his family won’t exist long enough to save themselves, let alone his mother.

David and Hook cling to the beanstalk. Hook falls. David is next. Snow says something is wrong. Regina asks where, but she doesn’t know. Jasmine says, let’s find them, and calls the magic carpet. They find Hook in the mess of the beanstalk. He says they managed to get it, and shows them the bean. David is nowhere. and Snow says she’ll find him. She tells Hook to get to Emma, and make her believe again.

Emma is ready to leave. Henry asks if this is what she wants. She says this is why she has to go; he believes this nonsense. She says it’s clear now. Coming to Storybrooke wasn’t good for either of them. It sent them on a dangerous path. Henry says the Black Fairy did it; Emma really doesn’t believe. She says there’s nothing to believe, and tells him good-by. She goes off in her VW bug.

Emma arrives back at her old place in Boston. A notebook tumbles out of her tote bag. There’s a note on it from Henry saying that he knows she doesn’t think the story is true, but they can still have a happy ending. Emma gets a call to come back to work. She looks through the book. It’s a new story about how true love broke the curse.

Regina looks at the bean, and it’s turned black. Emma’s lack of belief is sapping the magic from everything. Regina says she doesn’t have enough power to fix it, but Zelena says between her, Regina and the Evil Queen, they can do it.

Snow looks for David in the forest. She finds him under some beanstalk fronds. He seems to be dead, and she cries, saying please no. She kisses him. He opens his eyes. Flashback to the reverse, when he woke her with a kiss. He says she found him, and she asks if he doubted it. He says the beanstalk that fell on him gave him pause. She tells him that darkness never wins; it just pulls you into believing it does. They say I love yous, and David says, let’s go.

Henry goes to Gold’s shop. He starts to go into the back, and Gold says it’s closed to customers. Henry says he’s not a customer, he’s Gold’s grandson. He goes in the back where there’s a potion brewing. Henry says Gold is awake; he knows magic when he sees it. He asks why Gold has been pretending. Gold says he doesn’t trust his mother. He wasn’t supposed to end up like this without Belle; she betrayed him again. He wants to find out her true intentions. He doesn’t believe Belle ran off; the Black Fairy would have kept her for leverage. Henry says he has to help him save their family, then they can find Belle. Gold says that all he cares about is Belle. Henry says at least let him take something that can help.

Henry talks into a mirror, hoping the others can hear him. He says he tried to keep Emma from losing belief, but it wasn’t good enough. That doesn’t mean he’s going on without a fight. He pulls out a sword, and says if no one else can go up against the Black Fairy, he will.

Zelena says the magic is there. David wants everyone to get to safety. Regina sees the Evil Queen going toward a window, and asks what she’s doing. She says that she’s going to hold it off as long as she can. She tells Regina to take the others to the center of the castle, where they should be able to survive. Henry is her son too, and he needs one of them. She zaps purple lightning bolts at the oncoming clouds. Regina gathers everyone and tries to make a purple fire ball, but it’s weak.

Everything starts to crumble. Everyone looks at each other, and for a moment, I think Regina and Zelena are going to kiss. The clouds get bigger, darker, and closer.

Henry goes to the Storybrooke town hall. Emma joins him. She tells him that she found the book he left. She says she’s not sure she’s the Savior, but it’s who she wants to be. She doesn’t remember the crazy stuff he told her, but she believes it.

Everything stops. The group is left on a cliff, only the center of the palace room remaining. Regina asks what happened. Snow says Emma is back.

Her Handsome Hero plops down from the sky in front of a house. Gold goes inside. He calls for Belle. He finds her hiding next to the stove in the kitchen. She says she doesn’t want to leave, and runs into another room. She doesn’t know why he knows her name. He says the Black Fairy changed her, but he promises her that he’ll make the fairy pay.

Fiona comes into Gold’s shop. She tells Gideon that Emma Swan is back. He’s confused, and she says she needs her fairy wand. He wants to call his father, but she says that’s the last thing she needs, and Gideon hangs up the phone. He wonders why he did that when he didn’t want to, and Fiona says she still has his heart; he has to do what she says. She needs the wand to translate Henry’s runes, which hold the key to winning the final battle. Gideon finds the wand. Fiona says it’s been centuries since she felt its power.

She zaps the page of runes, and they decipher. She tells Gideon it’s time to get to work.

Emma wanders around with a sword.

Gold enters his shop. Fiona says she’s there to get her watch. He says, no she’s not, and calls her “mother.” She says she separated him from Belle for his own good. Belle would have convinced him to go against his own dark instincts. When the final battle is over, she can make them love him, even if he’s the Dark One; he can have it all. He says he can’t, and all she cares about is herself. She says she’s worked tirelessly to reunite them. They can be a family again, and not just Belle and Gideon. She’ll be able to bring back the dead – his first son. All his desires can be had. Gold says he must have it all, and they hug. He says there’s just one problem – all magic comes with a price. He flips her around, and holds a dagger to her throat. He says he’s not willing to pay, and she’s going to suffer because of Belle and Gideon. She says she learned that darkness can’t snuff out the light; only light can snuff out light. He says she has Gideon’s heart, and she commanded him to kill the Savior. Not even her death can stop it, and will probably ensure it. Gold says there’s one way to find out. He zaps her, and she turns to dust.

Gold drops the dagger. A wave comes over everything, like when you see heat rising from a highway. At the town hall in regular Storybrooke, Emma remembers everything. Gideon appears, and says just in time, Savior. Emma tells Henry to go.

Belle runs into Gold’s shop. She says the curse is broken, and he tells her that he killed the Black Fairy. She asks where Gideon is. He says still under her control, but Henry might know.

Gideon advances on Emma. Henry bops him in the head with a fire extinguisher. They run, but when Gideon tries to follow, he’s stopped by a spell. Emma says it won’t hold long. She and Henry jet.

Belle and Gold look for Gideon’s heart in a cave. Belle twists her ankle, and she tells him to go ahead.

Back out on the street, Henry says they lost Gideon, but he won’t be far behind. They’re both happy about the curse being broken. The others show up, and Emma tells Hook, some honeymoon.

Gold finds a chest with a heart in it.

Regina says it’s a trap. Either way light will be destroyed. She tells Emma to hold Gideon off until Gold gets his heart. There’s always a third way. She takes Emma aside. She says when she first came to Storybrooke, they hated each other, but she found a third way – they were both Henry’s mother. Today she saw her evil half be selfless. She saved them all, and Regina never saw it coming. She says Emma hasn’t seen it yet, but she will. Emma says it sounds like she’s talking about hope, and Regina says Emma didn’t give up on her. Emma asks what she should do, and Regina says she’ll know when the time comes.

Gideon grabs Snow and holds a knife to her throat. Emma says to let her go, and he does. She circles him. He looks at her like he smelled something bad.

Gold talks to the heart, telling Gideon not to kill Emma. Rumpel appears, and tells him that if Emma dies, he can have it all. They can get everything – love and power. He tells Gold to put the heart down, and let their boy finish his mission. Gold says he won’t betray his family. He’s going to do the right thing; he was destined to be a Savior. Rumpel says in this new world, they’ll change the rules. Gold says that’s not happening, and tells the heart not to kill Emma. The heart turns dark, and Rumpel asks if he thought it would be easy. He might want to do the right thing, but we don’t always get what we want. Mick Jagger sings in my head.

Gideon tells Emma that no one is going to save her. They duel with their swords. She says no one needs to save her; she’s the Savior. She does some nice kick moves. She tells Gideon that ultimately, she’s a hero and light. She won’t kill anything; she’ll give hope – no matter what the cost. She drops the sword. Hook is like, nooo! but the others hold him back. Gideon looks sick. He says he was hoping she’d save them both. He runs the sword through her. Streams and bubbles of light come spraying out of her and go all over.

Gold tells Belle that he failed her and their family. He made the right choice, but it didn’t work out. Belle hugs him.

Everyone runs to Emma, who is lying in the middle of the street. Henry kisses her forehead, saying he loves her. Rainbows pulsate everywhere. She opens her eyes, and says that she loves him too. Everybody rejoices, and there’s a group hug.

Belle and Gold hear a baby cry. That’s because a baby has suddenly appeared in the cave. They see he’s also brought reading material – Her Handsome Hero. It’s Gideon. Gold says, a fresh start and happy ending, but Belle changes that to happy beginning.

Snow picks up Henry’s book and gives it to him. He looks at the last page, and it says, faith was restored and the final battle was won. Emma says, there’s no the end, and Snow says it isn’t the end. Maybe it is of this book, but not the end end.  Emma says, what now? Snow tells her that living with the belief that there’s a happy ending is the most powerful thing about now. They get to keep going on, doing what they love, with the people they love; being together is happiness. We see the hands on the clock in the tower move.

Palace doors open, glittery snow is falling, fairies are flying, there’s a reindeer, a maze, and the caterpillar from Alice in Wonderland, smoking his hookah. The Evil Queen looks out from her balcony and smiles. A doormat says Welcome to the Charmings, and we pan out to Snow and David’s place, and how happy they are with their baby and dog. Emma and Regina see Henry off to school at the bus stop. Snow as Mary teaches a class with a bluebird on her finger. Emma and Hook tool around in her bug, and put a flashing red light on top so they can go fast.

The Dwarves have a surprise for Regina. They’ve put a new name on her office door at the town hall – it now says Regina Mills – Queen. In the office, she looks at an apple and smiles.

Meanwhile, in parallel enchanted world, an arrow flies through the Evil Queen’s window. It has a note and a ring attached. The note says, Ready for a new adventure?

Belle and Gold dance to the theme from Beauty and the Beast.

Everyone gathers at Granny’s, including Zelena. All of them are happy, making me wonder if the show is returning. There’s lots of laughter, and everybody sits down at a really long table. I’m thinking it’s odd that they’re all sitting on one side, but then the scene turns into a picture in a book.

The little girl is on the train reading Once Upon a Time, but it has a different cover from Henry’s book. We read: Seattle, years later. She walks down an apartment building hallway and knocks on a door. A man answers and she asks if he’s Henry Mills. She says her name is Lucy, and she’s his daughter. She says his family needs him.

🎠 Yes, the show is returning. When, they didn’t say.  This was one long episode, but it was nice how they wrapped everything up, and sort of went back to the beginning, while leaving it open for the next book. It was also very corny, but I’ve watched this show from the first episode, and I think this was the first time it made me tear up. Robert Carlyle did an especially fine job, turning Gold into the man both he and Belle wanted him to be. It was gratifying that all of the characters got a do-over. Well, except for the Black Fairy, but she got what was coming to her. Managing to be sweet and smart at the same time, I’m surprised this show caught on, but glad that it did.

🍑 In order to milk the Housewives cash cow, tonight we were presented with The Real Housewives of Atlanta: Secrets Revealed. This is a step up from when they used to call the unused scenes “Lost Footage,” like we believed they found it behind a desk somewhere. Often, they have clips that are better than the regular episodes, and it’s an enjoyable change to see them having fun, rather than pulling each other’s hair. This time we got to see one of the (few) good things about Phaedra – Ayden, aka Mr. President, one of the cutest kids ever. Of course, I don’t have to deal with him when he’s hopped up on sugar or doesn’t want a nap. We also saw more interaction between Kenya and the kids at Phaedra’s camp. There was a beautiful scene with Kenya telling them about the mother who ignores her, and how they’re not invisible. She touched one kid in a big way, and it was moving to see her comfort the sobbing boy. I also had to laugh at Peter lurking in the shadows. Cynthia’s shadows. He even had the gall to show up when she was out on a girl’s night, wanting to discuss the divorce. She ended up thanking him, which is totally like Cynthia, but she’s probably glad he’s not trying to clean her out, like suckerfish Jason Hoppy did with Bethenny. Farewell until next time, ladies (and I use the term loosely). Apparently, both NeNe Leakes and Kim Zolciak are coming back to the cast. Like the buzzards coming back to Hinckley, so do the Wives return to their original nesting grounds.

HappyMothersDayPeke

Juliet&Puppies (2)

Juliet sez: Bein’ a mudder iz da bezt!

May13

May 12, 2017 – Anna Isn’t Herself, a Quote Triad & Watch This Movie, Sweetie Darling

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What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

 

 

General Hospital

Griff tells Hayden and Finn that the test results say Hayden is pregnant. Hayden says it doesn’t make sense. Why would a test for opiates also test for pregnancy? My question exactly.

Curtis tells Nina that the listening device is expensive and hard to find, just like the watch. Nina asks if Anna can hear them now, but Curtis says unlikely with it smashed to smithereens. He wonders what Anna’s game plan is. Is she a psycho stalker or does she just like to listen in on personal conversations? Nina says it’s so much more than that. She’s been targeting Valentin and knows where to aim.

Valentin answers the phone like I do – what? Ha-ha! Anna asks if he’s free to meet. She goes on about how nice it is outside, and how they can go to the park and have a picnic. He says he doesn’t think so. She says they were closer than they’ve been in decades the other day, and we flash back their conversation in the park. She says maybe they could build on that, and he tells her it’s over. He won’t be seeing her today or any other day.

On the docks, Nelle leaves a message for Nina. She says as much as she loves Charlotte, Nina will have to find a new nanny. She doesn’t want to spy on Valentin. Michael is standing behind her.

Carly says she came to the restaurant to order a cake, and finds her husband and divorce attorney holding hands. Martina says she can explain. That’s what Frank N. Furter said in Rocky Horror, and look where it got him. Martina apologizes, saying that she wanted to tell Carly first. She says she’s removing herself from the case, which is what they were discussing. Carly thinks Sonny has been intimidating her, but she says it’s for personal reasons. Carly asks for specifics, and Sonny says it’s because of him.

Michael tells Nelle that he couldn’t help overhearing. He assumes she’s spying because Nina asked her to. Nelle tells him that Carly told Nina about what happened with Sonny, and Nina threatened to fire her if she didn’t, but she refused to do it. She followed Valentin once, and hated it; she even lied to Nina. She told her everything was fine when it seemed sketchy. That’s why she just quit.

Curtis asks how Anna would have gotten such specialized equipment. Nina tells him that Anna and Valentin were both in the WSB. She tells Curtis about how Valentin was in love with Anna, and she used it to end his career. She told him she wanted to make amends, but obviously, that wasn’t the case.

Hayden wonders why there was a pregnancy test, if Finn was the one being tested. Griff goes to look into it. Hayden tells Finn it changes the projectory of her day. He asks if it’s a possibility. This is the second time I’ve heard the word “projectory” in a week, and no spellcheck recognizes it as a word.

On the phone, Anna says she hasn’t located the chimera yet. She’s had a setback. She lost transmission with Valentin, and now he’s resisting any further attempt at intimacy. She gets all that, and is going to try again. Jordan sits with her, and asks how long she thought she could hide.

Nina says that Anna preyed on Valentin’s vulnerabilities. Curtis says she’s good, and Nina says she’s disgusting. She’s probably already booked a room. Curtis says that Valentin is dangerous; he’s under surveillance by the WSB. She has to make a decision, and he says it should be soon. Valentin walks in, and they make a soap opera stare at each other.

Carly wonders when things changed. Martina says she was informed of a conflict of interest just today. She worked for a law firm that was involved in a lawsuit concerning Sonny’s coffee company. It could be construed as her being on his side. Carly wonders why she’d tell Sonny first. There’s no getting anything past Carly.

Hayden doesn’t want to waste time and emotion on something that’s obviously an error. Finn says he’s sure she’s aware of what’s normal for herself, but she says she hadn’t been paying attention. She insists she’s not pregnant. Griff comes back.

Jordan makes small talk with Anna. She asks if Anna has had to scale back on the work front. Anna says she’s had to settle down some, and Jordan says she wouldn’t mind settling down in her personal life. She tells Anna about Curtis.

Curtis tells Nina again to be careful, and jets. Valentin says he was looking for her. She says he wasted a trip. He tells her that he’s so sorry he put Anna between them, but she means nothing and Nina means everything. Her and Charlotte are his whole world. He was an idiot, looking for closure in a painful and demoralizing chapter in his life, but he didn’t need it, because he has a wife and child he adores. He says he wants her more than he’s wanted anyone, but she doesn’t believe him. She says that all this time, she’s been seeing it from his point of view and giving him the benefit of the doubt. He says that he wanted relief form a lingering ache, but it’s nothing compares to losing her. He knows they can fix it. Nina says he’s right. He’s been a fool. Anna has been using him.

Michael says he’d like to believe Nelle was doing the right thing.  She says his mom knows everyone in town, and she was desperate. She wanted to stay in Port Charles because she thought the end justified the means, but it didn’t. He says now what? She tells him that it’s time for her next adventure. He asks if she’s leaving, and she says starting over is kind of exciting. He says it’s weird to think of her not being around. She says despite everything that happened, Port Charles is her home, but there’s nothing here for her unless he can think of a reason that she should stay.

Martina tells Carly that she meant no disrespect by telling Sonny first. Carly thinks it’s odd that Martina isn’t calling him Mr. Corrinthos. She says Martina’s reasons for bailing sound professional, but what isn’t, is how she found them. It seems more like there was a prior connection on a personal level. Martina says if that was the case, Alexis wouldn’t have recommended her, but Carly says Alexis doesn’t know everything. She accuses Sonny of undermining her case, and asks where his honor is now.

Griff says that the test doesn’t identify the person; it’s only a number. Whoever rigged it put in a trace of opiates, and if drugs are found, they automatically test for anything that might be affected by them. Hayden says, so this is actually happening. Griff goes off to do whatever, and Finn and Hayden sit down. Thanks, Griff, for answering our question.

Hayden says Finn was always careful, but he says birth control is only 98% effective. She says they’re in the 2%, and he says sorry. They figure out when they last had sex. She says she’s the least maternal person she knows. He says she’s good with Roxie, who is very demanding. Hayden doesn’t know if she’s ready to be a parent, and asks if he is. I know all about this small percentage business. Thank God this has never happened to me, but my Golden Retriever was in the 1% that has a bad reaction to heartworm medication the first time he had a dose. It was traumatizing to us both.

Nina gives Valentin the watch. She says Curtis found something tucked away in the band. He asks if it’s what he thinks it is, and she says it’s a listening device. She asks why he’s so shocked. Anna tried to bug the house. First time shame on her, the next time, he knows the rest. She says it wasn’t a gift to him, but to Anna; she could hear every word.

Jordan tells Anna that Andre broke up with her, and Anna says Andre told her. Jordan thought he might pursue something with Anna, since there seemed to be something between them. Anna says she likes him, but it’s not the right time. She was just diagnosed with cancer, and doesn’t want to jump into a complicated relationship. Jordan says that Valerie accused her of warning Valerie off of Curtis so she could have him for herself. Anna asks if she was right.

Martina says it – it’s not what you think. Carly tells her to get lost. She leaves, and Carly is like, wow, and then Sonny says it – it’s not what you think. My prediction that someone would say that becomes doubly true. He says they weren’t teaming up against her. Carly says he’s crossed a lot of lines. Sonny says she slept with Jax while she was still married to him. He wanted it to be amicable, but she wanted to punish him. She says she did nothing; he said it was over. He changed his mind, and got offended. He had Jax deported, and now he still wants her to protect him – hell no. Carly says whatever he did, it didn’t work. She wants to know the real story, and says for once, to tell her the truth.

Finn tells Hayden that he hasn’t thought about fatherhood – at least not recently. He asks if she’s ever thought about it. Hayden says she and her first husband talked about it, but distantly. When he left, she focused on surviving. She talks about missing Spencer. Finn asks what she wants to do.

Valentin says he suspected that Anna had ulterior motives; he should have known. She’s been asking about a clandestine operation they were involved in. The watch is how she knew where to find him, and call when Nina was out of earshot. He tells Nina that he told Anna that he didn’t want to see her again, but Nina says too late. He says it’s twice he let Anna destroy his life. This time he hurt her and his daughter, and he’ll never forgive himself. He walks out.

Jordan tells Anna that she had to question herself. Maybe subconsciously she wanted Curtis available. I’d suggest talking to Andre, but that would be more than a little awkward. Anna says she’s overthinking it, and tells Jordan to go for it. Jordan wonders why no cautionary advice. Anna says she can’t waste a moment and neither should Jordan.

Michael asks if Nelle is serious. Nelle says what option does she have? She has no friends there. He says she doesn’t have as many enemies as she thinks, but Nelle says that’s not the same thing. She says there’s really no reason for her to stay. He’s like um, uh, I guess not, and tells her good luck. He leaves her on the docks. Alone. What a gentleman.

Sonny asks Carly about the cake. Carly is like, what? He says he’ll leave a message for the baker. She says she asks for the truth, and he dodges it again. He says that was the truth. She says she doesn’t know why she’s surprised. It’s how they ended up here in the first place. She asks when the lies are going to stop, and walks out.

Hayden tells Finn that she needs time to think. They’re just finding their way back, and she doesn’t know what he’ll be like when he’s clean. He says he loves her, and that was never the drugs talking. She says she loves him too. He says that’s everything, and they hug. He says whatever she decides, he’ll be with her every step of the way.

Nelle starts to leave, and a dude tries to take her purse. She struggles with him, and he pushes her into some crates, and runs off with it. She’s out cold.

Michael sees Carly, and says he has news that should brighten her day – Nelle is leaving town. She says it might not seem like it now, but it’s better for all concerned. She tells him that his father is mixing it up with her lawyer. She has a good idea how, and she’s going to prove it.

Martina comes back into the restaurant after waiting for Carly to leave. She tells Sonny that she tried to spin it into something Carly would believe, and asks if it worked. He says Carly knows him well; she can read between the lines, and even knows what he’s not saying. She’s not going to stop until she finds the truth.

Curtis gives Jordan a flower. He says something happened; maybe Valerie, maybe Andre, maybe both, but it derailed their date. He wants a do-over. He asks if he can escort her to the Nurses Ball. He says couples fall apart because they get into the noise and forget what matters. He tells her not to be like them, and show everyone how fly they are. She says she’ll have to get an amazing dress, but she’s in.

Nina looks at her ring and cries. Don’t do this, Nina.

Anna calls Valentin, but he’s standing right behind her. She says from some of the things he said, she thought she would never see him again. He says, as if he could stay away. He thought he was over her, but can’t fight what they have anymore. She says she can’t either, and suggests they go to the park, but he was hoping something more intimate. Somewhere they can be alone.

At a hospital in London, a nurse goes into a patient’s room. She says everything is going to be all right. Holy! It’s Anna. Omg, I think I know who the Anna in Port Charles is.

On Monday, Franco talks to Jake, Julian is told he could be a free man if he plays his cards right, and the nurse asks Anna if she knows where she is.

Absolutely Fabulous: The Movie

This is still on rotation on a couple of the movie channels. If you were a fan of the BBC show, you will love it. And if you never watched the show, like Sex in the City, the Absolutely Fabulous movie is like a really long, slightly raunchier episode. Summed up simply, the starring protagonists, Edina and Patsy (Jennifer Saunders and Joanna Lumley), are like Lucy and Ethel on crack. In the film, Edina has accidentally killed Kate Moss at a party, so she and Patsy decide to hide in the south of France. Hilarity ensues. Saffron’s daughter, Lola, is now thirteen, and probably smarter than all of them put together. All of the characters from the TV show are back, along with tons of celebrities playing themselves, like Joan Collins, Lulu, Emma Bunton (aka Baby Spice), Jon Hamm, Graham Norton, et al, and of course, Kate Moss. Rebel Wilson shows up as the DDNB – designated do-nothing bitch. One of the highlights for me was Saffy singing Janis Ian’s At Seventeen in a drag club. While all of us have aged since Edina and Patsy made their debut, their antics never get old. Give it a looksee, sweetie darling.

Quotes of the Week

Do you know what a pariah is?  *  It’s a fish. – Saffron and Edina (Julia Sawalha and Jennifer Saunders), respectively, Absolutely Fabulous: The Movie

The worst thing about living next to a hoarder is the varmints. – someone living next to a hoarder, Hoarding: Buried Alive

Never give up, for that is just the place and time that the tide will turn. – Harriet Beecher Stowe

👵 And since Sunday is Mother’s Day, here is the lovely Juliet, ten years ago last January 11th.  I’m pleased to say, all are still present and accounted for.

Juliet&HerBabies

May12

May 11, 2017 – Anna’s Listening Days are Over, Junior Chefs Serve Chefs & Pondering

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What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

 

 

General Hospital

Curtis sees Hayden sitting in the park. He asks about her relationship with Finn, but she doesn’t know what they are at the moment.

Finn asks Griff if there’s any word on his latest test results. Griff says not yet, but he hopes Finn’s plan works for everybody’s sake.

Nina comes back to Windemere to say good-by to Valentin. In the park, Anna smiles. I hate her.

Olivia-F sees that Carly is still wearing her rings, and jumps to a conclusion, but Carly says it’s her lawyer’s idea.

At the hospital, Sonny asks what Andre is looking at, and if it has anything to do with Morgan. Because he must have no other patients other than one who died almost a year ago.

Valentin says she has every right to be upset. Nina tells him to admit that Anna has been between them the whole time. She says every time she turns around, Anna is there, and he lies about it. Valentin doesn’t want to lose her. She asks why he wants to throw away everything to chase Anna? He says he’d be happy to never see Anna again.

Anna talks with Robin on the phone. She says she’s just getting to her phlebotomy appointment, and asks if they can talk later. Translation: she’s busy gloating over Valentin and Nina’s marriage falling apart. I hate her even more.

Valentin begs Nina not to go, and promises never to see Anna again.

Hayden tells Curtis that someone has been tampering with Finn’s drug tests. He asks her if she’s sure, and tells her to be careful. She swears it’s a real thing and she’s not enabling. He tells her to let him know if she needs his help, and he’ll shut it down.

Griff tells Finn and Hayden that he’s been avoiding Monica while he waits. He says if someone is falsifying drug tests, it’s not going to be good for anybody.

Olivia tells Carly that the Nurses Ball is Lucy’s excuse to be a diva. She says if Carly and Sonny would just talk, forgetting about the hurt and pride, they could work it out. Carly says riding off into the sunset doesn’t work that way. She sees Olivia’s ring, and asks why she didn’t say anything.

Andre tells Sonny that he got a copy of Morgan’s pill analysis. Sonny says he has a look on his face like there’s something he’s not telling him.

Valentin tells Nina that he can do better; he can be the husband she wants, just give him a chance to prove it. Nina says she can’t. She says her ex-husband’s affair pushed her to the edge. When she woke up from her coma, all she wanted to do was hurt people, including herself. She changed, and promised herself she was never going to feel like that again. He says their wedding was untraditional, but he took the vows seriously and he’s kept them. She says he may not have been with Anna physically, but wants him to admit that he’s been with her emotionally. He says he should have shut her down right away. Nina asks why he took the watch and lied to her. She explains about finding the box and the note in the wastebasket. She knew the first day, and he lied. She asks why she should believe him now. He holds out the watch. She won’t take it, so he puts it in her purse and says he doesn’t care what she does with it. Smash it!

Anna is like, dammit.

Curtis asks if Hayden and Finn are good. They talk about their kiss, and Curtis says he’s surprised she remembers. Finn pops out of nowhere, and says him too.

Carly tells Olivia how glad she is. Olivia says that Carly had so much going on, she didn’t want to make it worse. Carly says she’s excited for her, and Olivia thanks her for understanding. Carly says it’s a great feeling. Olivia tells her not to be afraid to love again.

Andre says he knows how important it is, and Sonny says they’re working hard to make peace with Morgan’s death. He and Carly were hoping to make sense of his downward spiral. Andre says some cases shake you to your core; he needs to understand too. Not like Sonny does, but Morgan was his patient. He’ll keep digging, and get whatever answers he can for both of them. Sonny talks about Avery, and tells Andre to keep in touch.

Andre asks Monica if they can talk. It’s about Morgan.

Griff is out jogging, and Anna says she was just listening to a podcast. Translation: listening to the inside of Nina’s purse. Griff says Robin mentioned that Anna was getting treatment at GH, and asks if she told Robin that she’s going elsewhere. Anna says it must have slipped her mind. He asks why she isn’t at her treatment, like she was telling Robin. He thinks something is going on, and it has to do with Valentin.

Nina ask why Valentin even took the watch. He says some scars are deeper than others, and he wanted to believe Anna was making amends, but not at Nina’s expense. She accepted him for who he is, and gave him a life he never dreamed of. They have a family, and it’s all that matters. He asks for another chance. If not for him, for Charlotte. He says he can prove himself to her, but please stay for Charlotte’s sake.

Hayden says she was drunk. Finn says she called him out, and what he did was inexcusable. He tells Curtis if he can repay him, just ask. Curtis says just take care of his girl, and goes back to jogging. Hayden tells Finn that kissing Curtis was an idiot move born out of hurt. Finn says he’s no one to pass judgement. He shows her something on his phone.

Carly tells Olivia that she’s not afraid of love. Olivia says it’s terrifying, and makes you vulnerable. She’s still terrified, but when she saw Ned in danger, her fear melted away, and she was more afraid to be without him. She tells Carly to remember the times she and Sonny faced down danger. Olivia says death is around them all the time, and can come for anyone. She asks if Carly isn’t concerned she won’t ever see Sonny again. Carly asks if Olivia is getting a premonition. Olivia says no. Sonny acted like an ass and Carly retaliated, and it’s sad that they waste so much time.

Martina visits Sonny at his restaurant. She says Carly wants to go forward as planned, and was suspicious right away. He says he doesn’t want to leave the country. Martina says Ava is a problem if she goes to someone, but she’s come up with a plan.

Andre tells Monica about the lab test on Morgan’s pills. He shows her the difference in the prescription dosage. She asks why the pills were 300 mg when 600 mg was prescribed, and he says that’s a good question. He wants to find out.

Martina tells Sonny that being together was a mistake. He asks what plan B is, and she says they can settle it today. She can fly home tonight, and everyone is in the clear. Give Carly everything. In other words, there is no plan B.

Olivia tells Carly about Leo being on a waitlist for a playgroup because she forgot to put down a deposit. She’s wondering when she’ll have time to do anything for the wedding. Carly says she’ll take care of things. Olivia has been supportive and sensitive, and they’ve been business partners for years. She says she’ll gift her with a wedding cake. It will be a nice distraction from the ugliness in her life. Olivia says it wouldn’t be so ugly if she dropped the anger, and she might find her way back to Sonny.

Hayden and Finn look at his phone, and Finn says that it’s his kind of house. He thinks they should start a home. He says the program taught him that relationships can be rocky after rehab, but maybe she’ll visit and leave a toothbrush. They kiss.

Griff asks Anna what’s going on with Valentin, and she says he has nothing to do with her mood. She’s doing the best she can to take care of herself. He says he’s there if she needs help. Since it’s the one year anniversary of her run-in with Carrrlos, he wonders if it could be affecting her mood. He asks what Duke said that gave her the will to live, but the hospital calls, and he has to jog on. I gotta say, we have never seen any of these people run before, and now it’s like an epidemic.

Nina says she loves Charlotte and Valentin, then Anna came between them. He’s disappointed her to the point where she’s turned into something she promised herself she wouldn’t. She says it’s a difficult line for her to walk, and she’s done. Continuing to play the Charlotte card, Valentin says he stands convicted, but don’t punish Charlotte. She tells him not to use Charlotte against her. What good is she doing Charlotte like this? Anna will always be the problem. Anna will always be in his life, and they both know that. He says Charlotte needs her, and not to be another person she loves who left. Nina says she took being a mother to Charlotte seriously. She wanted to be a strong, confident woman for her. What kind of role model can she be, being jealous and insecure? She cant stay because she loves Charlotte so much. Nina walks out.

Valentin drinks and remembers times with Nina. He thinks about Anna in the park. I think about how good he looks in riding pants. He smashes the glass against the fireplace. Like we didn’t see that coming.

Anna listens in on Nina talking to Curtis. Nina says things didn’t add up, but she wanted to believe it was real. She takes the watch out, and Curtis asks to look at it. He has a fondness for trophy watches. She smashes it, throwing it on the ground and stomping on it, and I laugh. Finally. It’s obviously loud in Anna’s ear, which makes me laugh harder.

Hayden and Finn look for Griff at the hospital. Finn asks for the results. Griff opens it. He says the test indicates positive for opiates. Hayden says their plan worked.

Andre tells Monica that the lab could have made a mistake. Monica says they can’t rule anything out. She says there’s only one way to find out, and Andre says he was hoping she’d say that.

Martina tells Sonny to give Carly his legal assets, and keep the other ones which are substantial. He says that he’d love to compromise, but his holdings are crucial. That leaves one option – her. She has to quit the case. He tells her sorry, and she says she’s sorry too. She was hoping it wouldn’t come to that. Her reputation is going to take a hit, but it beats disbarment. No hard feelings; she’s a big girl. Sonny says he wishes she could stay longer and she does too. They touch hands, and Carly walks in. She says, what the hell…

Hayden had taken the drug test instead of Finn, and they know she’s clean. Now they have to find out who’s to blame, although she has her suspicions. Finn asks if Griff wants to move on to phase two. Griff says something else needs addressing. Hayden also tested positive for being pregnant. Although why they’d be doing a pregnancy test on Finn is beyond me.

Curtis almost cries over the watch, calling it a work of art. Nina says it’s everything that’s wrong with her marriage, and tells him get it out of her sight. He fiddles with it, and asks about the band. Nina says all she knows is that it was a gift from Anna. Curtis says there’s a big problem.

Valentin gets a call from Anna. She asks if he’s all right, and he asks what she wants. She says she was frustrated with their encounter, and asks if they can pick up where they left off.

Nina says she doesn’t care, and Curtis says maybe she should. There was a listening device in the wristband. Anna has been listening in. This is going to be good.

Monica tells Andre that if there’s been a mistake, she’d like to keep it between senior management until there can be a full investigation. Andre says they can’t be certain about anything. Morgan was thriving, and the next minute, he was dead. He owes it to Morgan and his parents, whose lives haven’t been the same since.

Carly says, interesting, she finds her husband and divorce attorney holding hands. She tells them to say something, and it had better be good. You know someone is going to say, it’s not what it looks like.

Tomorrow, Nelle asks Michael if she has a reason to stay, Valentin blows off Anna, and Martina says she’ll tell Carly everything.

🍳 Tonight, the MasterChef Junior kids created a pop up restaurant by the beach and served an amazingly complex meal to chefs and food writers. One of the appetizers involved quail eggs and scallops. It looked incredible, but those eggs are mighty small. I once ordered quail in a high end restaurant, and it was one of those please, be an appetizer moments. The blue team ran out of eggs because they’d messed up on some of them. I can’t even poach a normal-sized egg, so I’m no one to judge. They still won the restaurant war though, and two little ones from the red team went home. The one who looked like a tiny princess in an apron said that she’d grown both as a chef and a person. We should all strive to be so mature. Next time, it’s the two-hour finale, with guests Wolfgang Puck and Martha Stewart. I like Martha, but I think she’s gotten to the point where she’s trying too hard to be cool, which makes you not cool. I believe it starts at 8 pm, but double-check on that.

Something to Ponder

There’s only one corner of the universe you can be certain of improving and that’s your own self. – Aldous Huxley (If you’ve never read Huxley, now would be as good a time as any.)

Valentin Pondering

GHValentin

May11

May 10, 2017 – Nina Has Enough, Ramona Doesn’t Get It, Andy & Abbey

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What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

 

 General Hospital

Valentin tells Anna that he sold the Chimera Project for a spectacular amount of money. Anna says he doesn’t seem concerned, and he says everyone involved is dead. She tells him that just because the buyer is dead, doesn’t mean the Chimera Project isn’t waiting for someone to unleash it.

Curtis and Jordan are having drinks. She tells him it’s okay to be scared. He pours champagne in her athletic shoe, but she stops him from drinking it; she’s impressed enough that he’d do it. He says they have an audience. Andre lurks at the bar.

Nathan is perplexed about Maxie. Nina tells him to call her. He says he will. She asks if he wants to escort her to Windemere. He says it’s nice to feel needed, and she says she’ll always need him. Valentin is still on his run anyway.

Valentin tells Anna that it’s possible the chimera is disabled, but still usable. The buyer died before using it. Anna says that doesn’t mean it wasn’t passed on. All right. What the blip does it do already? Do they even know?

Valentin flashes back to giving Helena (woohoo!) the Chimera Project. It’s in a silver container that looks like a martini shaker with chimera on it. He tells Anna that the buyer was no good at sharing.

Jake is shaking his birthday gifts. He tells Elizabeth what his guesses are. She says hands off until his party. He says it’s not fair, since his birthday is technically over. Elizabeth says he wanted his dad there, and Jake says he should be there now. She says that he went away on an emergency, and will be home soon.

Jason tells Franco that he was Jake’s scarecrow all along. Franco says Jason is what Jake has been afraid of all this time.

Jordan asks if Curtis wants to leave, but he says he’s good. She says she is too. He asks if she’d be good if Andre took up with one of her co-workers, even if it was Valerie. She turns around, and Valerie sits next to Andre. Valerie tells him that this is awkward, and asks if his ears are burning.

Nathan wonders why airline tickets to Portland are so expensive. Tell me about it. Nina offers to get him one, but he says no. She asks if he wants a beer and goes to get one. He looks at his phone, and can’t believe the prices went up again in three minutes time. I feel his pain. Nina comes back in. She says Valentin hasn’t come back from his run yet. Nathan tells her to call him, but she says she knows where he is.

Anna asks Valentin for the name of the buyer, and he says it wouldn’t do her any good. He tells her that if the project still existed, he’d find it and destroy it. She says he doesn’t trust her, and he says for good reason She tells him that she’s been honest since her memories were recalled, but he asks how he would know the difference. He says she’s always had an agenda, and wonders if he ever knew her. She says there’s only one way to find out, or she can disappear from his life for good. I wish.

Jake wants to cancel the party. Elizabeth says if he doesn’t drop the attitude, he’s losing screen time for a week; it’s time for him to exercise patience. He apologizes, and she tells him to forget about the presents and get his homework done. Kiki rings the bell. She says she has a package for Jake from Franco. Elizabeth tells him, homework, and he goes upstairs. Kiki says sorry, she didn’t know it was an issue. Franco had left a note, but she doesn’t know why he didn’t bring it himself. Elizabeth says she got a text that he’s on a mystery errand.

Franco asks what Jason did to Jake. Jason says he didn’t hurt his son. Franco asks what did happen. Jason talks about being in the restraints. He flashes back to a guy beating on him, and saying that rule number one is don’t talk about fight club your life is not your own. Franco can understand why someone would want to shackle and beat hell out of Jason, but if Jake saw it, wouldn’t he have been afraid for him? Jason remembers rule number two is never talk about fight club follow orders. He says someone else there, calling the shots. The guy beating him says he’ll pass out soon. Helena says Jason has survived worse than this. Jason tells Franco that it’s Helena. Like this is some huge shock.

Nina says Valentin is with Anna. Nathan gives her other reasons Valentin could be late. She says he went out to find her or she went out to find him. Nathan had thought they figured it out, but Nina says every time she turns around, she sees Anna, and Valentin acts sketchy, like he has something to hide.

Curtis wants something stronger that doesn’t taste like feet. He tells Jordan that he’s happy Valerie has moved on, and Andre is a lucky man, but not as lucky as he is. Jordan says keep talking.

Valerie flirts with Andre, and asks if he’s uncomfortable. He says no, but Jordan and Curtis might be. He says Curtis was always the third wheel in his relationship with Jordan. Valerie says Jordan is her new boss, confusing me, since I thought Jordan was always her boss. Andre says his advice is, if you don’t like a situation, change it. He leaves, and Valerie says maybe she will.

Curtis’s phone rings. Jordan says she’ll get their drinks. He tells her anything that doesn’t come in a shoe, and answers the phone. She orders the drinks, and says hey to Valerie. Valerie doesn’t look up from her phone. She asks if Valerie is dating Andre, and Valerie asks if she’s going to warn her off Andre too.

Nathan tells Nina that her problem is losing faith and trust, and Valentin is doing nothing to get it back. He asks if she can live that way, and she says no. He tells her to demand more, and she says what if he can’t give it?

Anna says every time she sees Valentin, she’s reminded of the ills she committed against him. He should have been a friend. She says her guilt means nothing to him. He says that means something, but she says not enough. She starts to leave, and he stops her. He says maybe they should get to know each other – who they are now. She says, a fresh start, and Andre pops out of nowhere. He says he didn’t mean to interrupt, and Valentin says he was just leaving. I hate that he’s being snowed by this crap. Has he learned nothing from his Richard III days?

Franco tells Jason that it makes sense, but what they don’t know is what Jake saw. We see the guard beating the living hell out of Jason, and Jason tells Franco that it wasn’t enough. The guard tells Helena that he’ll be no good if he’s dead. She says she always has assets in reserve.

Elizabeth gets a special delivery package.

Franco says she could have meant Jake or any one of her crazy relatives, and asks Jason if Helena gave him any hints. Jason remembers her saying she was pleased with his work. Helena tells Jason that the target was eliminated, but he missed the rendezvous, and it’s unacceptable. After all she’s done for him. The only reason he’s alive is because she met Faison’s price; don’t make her regret it. Jason tells Franco that the guy keeps hitting, and Helena orders more. There’s nothing he can do. He says the rest of the memory is out of reach.

Jason is in the shackles. Franco says, perfect fit.

Elizabeth says the package is from Spencer. Jake asks if he can open it now, since Spencer isn’t going to be at the party. Elizabeth thinks that would be okay. The UPS guy says, happy birthday, little man, which is creepy, and Jake stops for a split second.

Jordan says Valerie’s business has nothing to do with her. Valerie says until she’s done with Curtis. Then she’ll tell Valerie why dating Andre isn’t a good idea. She says she nearly got fired for dating Curtis, but look at Jordan now. Jordan says, sorry she’s hurt. Valerie says she’s grateful that she got out of a bad situation. She hopes it doesn’t cost Jordan’s career like it almost cost hers. Valerie leaves, and Curtis joins Jordan at the bar. He asks what happened, and she says nothing, just talking shop.

Anna asks if Andre is keeping tabs on her. He says it’s public park, and he asks what would have happened if he hadn’t shown up? She says that she planned on uncovering secrets up close that she couldn’t get from surveillance. He asks how close she’s planning on getting.

Nina doesn’t want to give up on her husband. Nathan says he admits that he hates Valentin. He’s making Nina feel lost, lonely, and insecure. She says she loves him and has to decide if it’s worth it. Nathan says sometimes it gets harder before it gets easier. She should start by being truthful with herself, and figure out from there. Valentin walks in, and asks why Nathan is at Windemere. Nina says he took her home, and Valentin senses something is wrong. Nina asks him to tell her if he was with Anna.

Franco says that maybe he should finish what Helena started, and punches Jason. Jason remembers Helena saying that it’s hard to find good help, while the guard keeps punching him. I have to add that Helena is full-on dressed up, complete with several strands of pearls. It’s one of the things I love about her. She never dresses down. She tels Jason that now he’s at her disposal; now he kills for her. She says they’re not alone, and says, hello little man. Jason says he was here; he saw him. Franco asks who, and Jason answers, Jake.

Nina tells Valentin that it’s a simple question. He says he bumped into Anna, and Nina is like, omg. She asks what Anna wanted, but doesn’t let him answer. She says she can’t do this anymore. Every time he says she’s wrong, she puts her faith in him, only to be a loser again. She asks if he’s having affair with Anna, or does he want to.

Anna tells Andre that she’s in a position to acquire information using Valentin’s interest in her. Andre says that Valentin is dangerous, but her condition makes her less so. He tells her that he’s heard about her missing appointments. Anna says she’s fine, and she’s taken procedures elsewhere to avoid prying eyes. Andre tells her not to make him the enemy. She says her illness doesn’t make her infirm, and she can get by without his unique form of condescension. She asks why he foists his opinion on her, and wonders if she’s a distraction from the mess he made with Jordan.

Curtis tells Jordan that she needs a game plan; something to look forward to. He suggests they take a walk, then go back to his place, listen to slow jams and chill. She says, raincheck.

Jake opens the package. It’s a magic set that has all kinds of cool stuff like a top hat and a wand. There’s a box inside the box that says top secret – for magician’s eyes only.

Helena is talking to child that Jason can’t see. Jason tells Franco that Jake must have hidden behind the tree, and watched. Helena tells Jason that he does a clean kill every time, and now he kills for her. Franco says he can see how it would be traumatizing. He wonders how Jake is afraid of Jason though. He undoes the cuffs, and says, it worked, so they’re good. Jason punches him.

Curtis asks Jordan if it’s about Andre and Valerie, or is it about him. She says maybe it’s about her. She tells him that she’ll see him soon, and jets.

Anna apologizes to Andre. Andre says he cares what happens, and she reminds him of boundaries. He says that he won’t tell her how to live her life or do her job, but he won’t stand idly by and let her jeopardize her life. She’s stuck with him.

Kiki asks Jake about the box inside the box, and he says it says it says for magician’s eyes only. She says that’s right, a magician never tells his secrets. She leaves, and Jake sees a note that says, look underneath and you’ll recognize what you find.

Franco is out cold, and Jason sends Elizabeth a text from Franco’s phone saying that he’s all tied up. Jason puts Franco in the shackles and asks how it feels to be in his shoes.

Valentin begs Nina not to leave. She says they’re done with the conversation. Nathan tells Valentin that he lost the best thing that ever happened to him. I agree, and I’m very disappointed.

Anna’s phone rings. She says making progress, and it shouldn’t be long until she gets what they need.

Franco says this is the thanks he gets for helping Jason. Jason says he’s going to leave Franco there to think about his actions. He’ll send someone to get him, but until then, he’s going to his son’s birthday party. We see the chimera carved into the tree.

Jake opens the box within the box. It’s the cocktail shaker with the Chimera Project in it.

Tomorrow, Andre talks to Monica about Morgan, Griff hopes the plan works, and Nina leaves Valentin.

The Real Housewives of New York City

Everyone is tending to their dogs. Tinsley picks a poopie up off the carpet. Rich people – they’re just like us! At least their dogs are.

At a restaurant, Bethenny is meeting Sonja, who is late even though she lives around the corner. Sonja says she’s going forward with purging both her house and her mind. Bethenny asks about Ramona’s surprise party. Sonja tells her about Dorinda’s insanity, and how Ramona can’t have an emotionally mature conversation. She gets why Bethenny feels the way she does. Bethenny says Ramona wanted to make her feel shameful. They talk about dating, and Bethenny suggests that Sonja find a new place, since they’re all looking in the same places for men. We flash back to how incestuous dating is in their circle.

Meanwhile in the Berkshires, Dorinda visits her late husband’s grave. It’s the fifth year he’s been gone, and she feels that she can finally let him go. She meets her parents and her daughter at the cemetery. John isn’t there because it’s the family that was. Hannah looks gorgeous. Dorinda lights candles, and they look at the photos in front of the headstone. Carole arrives. She looks smashing, with an entirely black outfit – pants, jacket and blouse – except for a white collar and white gloves. Dorinda says that Richard’s other two children couldn’t be there, but even though Hannah was his stepdaughter, he treated her like one of his own and they had a special relationship. Hannah talks about how his death devastated her, and how she is who she is because of him. She tells them not to cry because it’s over, but smile because it happened. Dorinda is impressed with how Hannah is able to express her feelings. Dorinda speaks, saying that Richard is always in her thoughts, and jokes that sometimes she’s still mad at him. She says she wears her ring on this day every year. In her interview, she tells us about how when someone is sick, a new world is given to you in a split second.

Bethenny is sorting Brynn’s American Doll stuff. At least their accessories aren’t as small as Barbie’s. She says life is different. She’s gotten the real estate bug and finds it therapeutic. She thinks Brynn might be a budding hoarder, but she has to let her fly like a little hoarding bird.

Everyone gathers at Dorinda’s house. Carole talks to her parents, who have been married a looong time. Dorinda says Hannah is ready to move out, and she’s ready to start a new chapter of her life. They talk about Richard and what a great guy he was. Carole tells them about hearing that the homeless people he helped came to his funeral. In her interview, Carole says Richard was a fascinating character, and she’s weirdly obsessed with him. She wishes she’d known him. Dorinda says he had childlike sensibility with an intense mind.

Sonja instructs Tinsley on how to load a dishwasher. Tinsley says she doesn’t know what the rules are, and she’s trying to figure them out. Sonja doesn’t have interns anymore, so she’s blaming Tinsley for everything. Tinsley forgets that Sonja isn’t drinking, and puts vodka in her orange juice. In her interview, Tinsley tells us that she doesn’t want to overstay her welcome. I don’t know what’s in Sonja’s ice tray, but it’s brown. Maybe I don’t want to know.

Luann, Dorinda, and Luann’s other bridesmaids go with Luann to see her wedding dress. She says she feels like she’s living the fairytale. She’s never worn a wedding dress, because she eloped the first time. It’s pretty, sleeveless and simple, with a lace overlay. Dorinda marvels at being 51 and a bridesmaid. The dress isn’t bad. Pink, sleeveless, with a high-low hem. You could probably wear it again, but the chances of Dorinda doing that are zero to none.

Tinsley walks with her friend, Anisha, who has two dogs in a small remote controlled car. She claims it’s cooler than a stroller, and I have to agree, but hope it doesn’t become the norm. It’s hard enough walking in NYC. She asks Tinsley where she’s moving to, but Tinsley doesn’t know yet. She says the Upper East Side isn’t cool any more, but it’s what she knows. Anisha says that Tinsley should live in her building, and hands her the remote. Poor dogs.

Bethenny visits Carole. Carole’s couch is a wreck, but Bethenny says it looks intentional. They talk about Thanksgiving, and the turkey that Adam cooked. Carole says they both like their space, pointing out that it’s really her apartment. Bethenny says she thinks Carole has mixed feelings about Adam living there. Carole is encouraging him to move, since it’s not good for their relationship being together 24/7. She tells Bethenny there’s something about a two-year mark. Neither one of them want to get married, so they wonder what they’re doing. In her interview, Bethenny says at two years you shouldn’t be moving out.

Carole asks about suckerfish Jason Hoppy. Bethenny says it’s like an extermination problem; if you don’t get to the root, it won’t go away. In her interview, Carole says she’s witnessed behavior from Bethenny’s ex that’s beyond bizarre, and hopes it ends soon. Carole is having a get-together with the women to clear the air. Bethenny tells Carole that she doesn’t care about Ramona, and hopes that Ramona leaves her alone.

Ramona calls Dorinda and thanks her for the surprise party. Dorinda talks about being worried that Ramona wasn’t going to show. They discuss Bethenny not coming. Dorinda tells Ramona to use going out for drinks as a way to reconnect.

The girls go to the old Limelight, now called Jue Lan. If Bethenny has the right demeanor, Ramona is going to try and approach her without being confrontational. Bridesmaids dresses are discussed. Ramona says she bought her ticket to Palm Beach, and asks Luann if she gets an invitation. Luann tells her that they were sent out a while ago, but not to her. She says no offense, but she wants her day drama free. In her interview, Luann says Ramona wouldn’t come if she did send her an invite. Ramona says she doesn’t care, but there’s no reason not to invite her, and her feelings are hurt. Omg, they go back and forth, with Ramona feeling insulted and Luann saying sorrynotsorry. Bethenny equates Ramona not wanting to go, but wanting to be invited, to a sex act.

Somehow Bethenny gets reeled in to the argument. Ramona claims people are calling her, and asking if the wedding is on. Luann brings up Ramona saying that people are taking bets. Ramona says it was just a joke. In her interview, Luann says the truth always comes out first, then people say they were just kidding. YES!!!! Bethenny sums it up perfectly by saying that Ramona is being an a-hole.

Luann says cheers, and everyone gladly drinks. She tells Ramona not to say stupid things, and Ramona says it happens from time to time. All of the time. Sonja and Tinsley arrive late. Carole tells Tinsley about two apartments in her building, where she’s on the board. Tinsley says she’d like to check it out. Food comes out, and the girls sit down. Tinsley tells everyone her life story. She married Topper when they were both eighteen, after seeing Andrea do it on 90210.

Ramona corrals Luann, and they discuss Bethenny. Ramona feels awkward. Luann thinks Bethenny didn’t like how Ramona brought up her B-movie past in front of everyone, and suggests Ramona talk to her. In her interview, she says if Ramona wants to poke the bear, have at it.

Ramona approaches Bethenny. She starts talking about friends talking about difficult things they’re going through. Bethenny says she isn’t into being schooled by Ramona, and Ramona calls her strange. She says she spoke to her out of concern, and Bethenny acted hostile. Bethenny says she doesn’t like how Ramona is speaking to her, and Ramona says she can dish it out, but not take it. She can’t answer a simple question. Ramona insists that she’s speaking normally, and Bethenny suggests she’s not very self-aware. Ramona says she was there when Bethenny was sick, and Bethenny says she was there through Ramona’s divorce, which Ramona denies. Bethenny wants to end the conversation, and tells everyone good night.

Ramona squawks that Bethenny doesn’t like the way she talks to her. In her interview, Ramona says it’s all on Bethenny. Ramona tells the women that Bethenny is like a rabid dog sometimes, and Tinsley says that Ramona is too. Carole has no sympathy, and Dorinda thinks Ramona is emotionally heightened, whatever that is.

Next time, Ramona wants to know why it always has to be her, we meet Bethenny’s boyfriend, Dorinda has a charity auction, and Bethenny tells Tom sorry for the drama.

🔬 If you haven’t caught Andy Cohen’s Then & Now, give it a looksee. It’s nicely put together, and a must if you like retrospectives. Like Andy, I enjoy pop culture, so it’s right up my alley. They seem to be randomly hopping around, and this week, 2003 was examined. Starting with Martin Bashir’s documentary on Michael Jackson, a lot of it was concentrated on celebrity-driven reality programs. Newlyweds, WMDs, The Apprentice, Beyonce – a lot happened in 2003. One of the really fun things is remembering the shows you used to watch and the stuff you were once interested in. There’s a lot of, oh yeah, that! Next time, 1985 is inspected. I’m partial to the 80s, and that’s the year I got married. Apparently other things happened too. I can’t wait to find out what.

💃 Abbey Lee Miller is going to just pretend she’s on a movie set when she’s in prison. I’m not even sure what to say, since it’s actually not a bad idea. She’s also going to learn Spanish and write a book. Sounds like a plan.

May10

May 9, 2017 – A Scarecrow on the Island, Julius Wants to Know the Enemy & a Tribal Themed Dinner

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What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

 

 

General Hospital

Nathan meets Nina at the bar. She says she’s made a decision about Maxie. Lulu interrupts, asking Nina for a favor. She wants to know where Valentin is.

He’s out jogging and runs into Anna, who is also out jogging. He says if he didn’t know better, he’d accuse her of following him.

In Greece, Jason is on the phone trying to wrangle a boat, and Franco walks by. Jason slams Franco up against the wall and asks what he’s doing there.

Bobbie asks Carly what’s wrong. Carly says her attorney wants her to come up with a diary of her marriage to Sonny. Bobbie asks if it’s all five marriages, or just the latest. Ha-ha! Just this one. Carly says the sooner it’s filed, the sooner Sonny will get a clue that everything that was his, is hers now. Bobbie thinks she should consider a more amicable settlement. Carly says no way, and that’s why she brought Martina in. She needed someone Sonny didn’t know or could intimidate.

Guess again. Martina sits with Sonny. He says she has a problem, but he has a solution.

Nina tells Lulu that she can consider a request, since she’s Charlotte’s stepmom. Lulu says she wanted to take Charlotte for an outing with Rocco, and would like her to stay overnight. Nina says she gets an hour a week, and Charlotte hasn’t expressed wanting more time. They nearly get in an argument. Nina says Lulu is challenging the court mandate, and it’s not right. She says Charlotte is like a doll to Lulu, and she’s not considering Charlotte’s feelings. Lulu tells her to back off; she’s not really related to Charlotte. She says Valentin will betray Nina, just like he has everyone else.

Valentin says Anna’s ankle seems better, and wonders if her injury wasn’t contrived. Anna says she didn’t run into him by accident; they need to talk. Valentin asks why.

Jason tells Franco that only Sam knew he was in Greece. Franco says until she told him and Elizabeth. Jason asks if Franco is trying to play hero, but Franco says his sole motivation is to help Jake. He says step one, Jason will need a boat, and he has one – one with a cooler. Jason says he’ll pay him, but Franco says they’ll have to work together, and they should leave now.

Carly tells Bobbie that fighting Sonny is the best choice, and Bobbie says yeah, for the lawyer. I’ve got to agree with her there. Carly says that Sonny signed over his assets to her, and she’s going to keep them. She says it’s not about money. Sonny forced Jax to leave the country, and he can’t come back. Bobbie says he’s a billionaire; he’ll figure something out. She says Carly has to look at the reality. Sonny is a mobster with a bad temper and jealous streak. Is she really surprised? Carly says that’s why she brought in Martina, to make sure he pays dearly.

Martina tells Sonny that if anything, they’re at a stalemate. Sonny says he didn’t ask her there to blackmail her; someone saw them at The Haunted Star. Sonny says she’s already met her, and tells Martina about Ava. If Ava thinks she can hurt Sonny or Carly, she won’t hesitate. Then they both lose. He says that’s why he needs her help.

Nina asks how Nathan can be friends with Lulu, and he says she’s not always like that. Nah, just every time she doesn’t get what she wants immediately. Nina says it’s Lulu’s first move to get Charlotte away from her and Valentin, and it’s never going to happen.

Lulu sits down with Doc and Laura. She wishes she hadn’t lost her cool. Doc asks what happened. Lulu says it doesn’t matter.

Nina tells Nathan that Valentin offered Lulu joint custody, but she didn’t want it. She says she knows Valentin has flaws, but he loves his daughter and she loves him, and it’s real. She’ll be damned if Lulu is going to break up their family.

Anna asks Valentin if he prefers they call it closure and never see one another again. He asks why she’s there, and she says they have to talk about the Chimera Project.

Jason asks why Franco is doing this. He tells Jason that he loves Elizabeth and cares about Jake. He suggests that they talk about what they agree on. They want to get to the bottom of things for Jake’s sake, and the answers are on the island. Jason asks if the boat really has a cooler, and tells Franco let’s go.

Carly tells Bobbie she’s not taking back anything she said, but when she was writing in the journal, taking inventory of her marriage, she remembered what it was like when she and Sonny loved each other.

Sonny tells Martina that the best case is, Carly doesn’t believe Ava, but Carly’s cousin owns The Haunted Star, and all she has to do is ask for footage. Martina says Carly will just fire her and get another attorney, but Sonny says he’d rather fight with the devil he knows. She says, the one he can leverage? He tells her that once it’s over, they won’t have Ava hanging over their heads. Martina says it could come back to haunt him later, but Sonny says it will be fine. Martina wonders why she feels like there’s a catch, and Sonny says that’s because there is.

Carly tells Bobbie about Morgan’s prescription bottle being found after the robbery, and how Sonny had it tested. She says everything was fine, but when Sonny was telling her about it, they were two parents mourning their kid instead of fighting. Bobbie asks if they’d still be together if Morgan hadn’t died. Carly asks if it matters. Morgan died, and they reacted the way they did, and made the choices that they did. She says Sonny said the marriage was over, then she slept with Jax, and Sonny had him deported. She can’t go through life wishing Sonny was the way she wants him to be.

Sonny tells Martina that Carly is holding on to his assets to punish him, and Martina has to talk her out of it. He’s sure she’ll find the best solution for everyone, and she says he wants the best solution for himself. He tells her she has a lot of work to do, and makes a dimply smile as she leaves.

Valentin tells Anna that the Chimera Project was decades ago. He asks if she forgot about it or just him. Anna apologizes again for using him. She says it was easier not remembering, because now she has to live with it. She understands that her present struggle doesn’t compare to what she did to him. She says there were other potential buyers, and wants to know who Valentin turned it over to. He says he doesn’t want to discuss it.

Jason and Franco arrive at what Jason thinks is the place. The scarecrow is there. Franco asks him to look at something.

Lulu tells Laura and Doc that she and Charlotte are getting along so well, she thinks she can win this on the up and up. Laura thinks there should be a back-up plan. Lulu says it would be good to have dirt on Valentin just in case. She wants to bring him and his lying wife down, but she has to play nice for a while. Laura tells her keep in mind that Charlotte loves Valentin, and although she hates to admit it, Charlotte loves Nina too. Lulu says she’s winning Charlotte over.

Nina tells Nathan that she’s used to people hating Valentin, but wants to get off the subject. She says, being objective, Maxie did a lot for her. They disagree about Lulu and Charlotte, but they both love Nathan. It’s not doing their marriage any good with her in Portland, so Nina has decided to give Maxie the job back. She’s emailed her with an offer, and suggested they start fresh. She wants Nathan and Maxie to be as happy as she is with Valentin.

Anna tells Valentin that she can’t help wondering what the fallout was, and asks what if the damage wasn’t contained? He says the only reason he got involved was because of her, and doesn’t want to think about the whole mess. She says she’s sorry again, and he says she says that so often, he’s doubting her sincerity. He tells her to drop it.

Franco shows Jason a tree with the chimera carved into the trunk. Franco points out discrepancies in the timeline drawing. If Jake was behind the tree, he wouldn’t see the scarecrow. Jason examines the area around the scarecrow.

Kristina meets Sonny. She tells him she’s involved with the Nurses Ball, mostly because of Amy 2.0, who she’s living with now. She says she came there to see how he’s doing. He says everything is fine on the divorce front. Kristina says Michael told her that Carly wants everything.

Carly introduces Bobbie to Martina. Bobbie leaves to bother someone else, and Martina calls her a bit of a mom bear. Carly says that’s where she gets it. Martina asks how Bobbie is taking the divorce, and Carly says she’s concerned. When Martina mentions Michael, Carly says he wants her to compromise, and Martina says he might have a point. Maybe she should take a closer look at Diane’s proposal. Carly asks what happened that Martina wants to settle. Martina says nothing, she’s just presenting options, but Carly doesn’t buy it.

Sonny tells Kristina not to worry. She tells him to disregard the invoice from PCU. She says she’s finally gotten her head on straight – academically anyway. She’s committed to getting her degree, but she can wait. She doesn’t want him paying for anything. She says once she can access her trust fund, it will help. He’s glad she’s taking responsibility. She thinks maybe she can ask Michael for assistance in the meantime. Sonny says that he and Carly will settle soon.

Martina tells Carly that nothing has changed. The longer it goes on, the more money she makes, and she’ll make a killing at trial. She has reservations about moving ahead though. Costs will be great, not just financially. She says that Carly and Sonny seem in agreement about the kids, and that Carly doesn’t need the money. She’s hurt and angry, but they’re poor reasons to make decisions. Her best advice is to compromise.

Nathan asks if Nina is worried about Valentin’s past. She says no, but someone suggested something, and made her realize she’s overreacting. She says soon Maxie will be back in his arms. She gets a text from Maxie, who turns down the offer, saying she’s not sure if she’s coming back at all.

Lulu tells Laura and Doc that Valentin isn’t who he’s pretending to be, and that children are perceptive. When Charlotte sees who he really is, she’ll come running to Lulu. Doc tells her to concentrate on her relationship with Charlotte, but don’t manipulate her. Lulu says she doesn’t have to; real love trumps manipulation. Please. Lulu gets a text and has to pick up Rocco.

Doc tells Laura that she seems uneasy. She says that’s an understatement. He asks if she doesn’t trust Lulu’s assessment of the situation, but she says that she doesn’t trust Valentin.

Valentin tells Anna that they’re at an impasse. Anna says she needs for him to tell her out of decency. <snort> He tells her that she’s laying it on too thick. Anna says the project had potential to do harm, so please tell her he sold it to the DVX. He says that he can’t.

Jason sees shackles near the scarecrow. Franco says this is alarming.

Kristina asks how Sonny knows they’ll settle. He says that he has a feeling, and she asks what he’s not telling her.

Carly tells Martina no way is she going to settle. She says now that due diligence has been done, she wants to keep everything.

Nathan tells Nina this is the first he’s heard about Maxie staying in Portland indefinitely. It sounds like Maxie is telling him one thing, and Nina another.

Laura tells Doc that Valentin won’t stand for it. He killed her son, and it’s only a matter of time before he does the same to her daughter. She gets all weepy, and I’m wondering why the overreaction.

Valentin tells Anna that he sold the project to the highest bidder. She suggests greed won out, but he says the surgeries didn’t pay for themselves. He sold it for a huge amount of money. He tells her if they wanted to do something with it, they would have already. It will never see the light of day.

Jason remembers being held in the shackles. He looks at the tree. Franco asks what’s going on, and Jason says it’s him; he’s the scarecrow.

Tomorrow, Curtis can’t believe Jordan is making him do something, there’s a special delivery for Elizabeth, Franco says Jason is the one Jake is afraid of and Anna asks if Valentin wants her out of his life. I know I do.

If Loving You is Wrong

Eddie locks Brad’s office door, and says the party is just getting started. Brad tells Eddie to let Randal go, but instead he draws his gun. Eddie asks why Randal is there, and Randal says he came to apologize. Brad backs him up on that, and tells Eddie to let him go again. Eddie says no. He says he doesn’t give a damn anymore; he’s tired of seeing Randal’s face. He asks Brad what Randal said. Brad says Randal told him that he was sorry, which is usually how apologies work.

Eddie tells Brad about how he saw Randal and Alex together. He asks if that’s the kind of apology Randal gives. Brad is like, what? Eddie says they were about to make out when he pulled up. He says right before he came there, they were in his front yard. Randal says they were just talking about the child. Brad says Lushion’s child, and Eddie asks if Alex was swinging from every jungle tree or what? Randal says Alex told him Lushion was the father. Eddie says he should shoot him for telling such a lie. Randal tells him to ask her, and Eddie says he’ll ask them both. Brad says he’d like to keep his job, so just let Randal go. Eddie finally gives in, but stands in front of the door. Randal asks how he’s supposed to leave, and Eddie tells him to pick a window. (Hey, that’s what Kathryn told Veronica on The Haves and the Have Nots.) Brad finally steps in, and moves Eddie aside.

Brad says he can’t go around killing people. Eddie asks what’s wrong with him. Brad says he’s had enough of all of it, and all he wants is peace. Eddie says Alex is still sleeping with Randal. Brad says he needs Eddie to leave him alone. Eddie says he doesn’t know who Brad is anymore, and he’s a damn fool if he goes back with Alex.

Alex’s phone rings. It’s the doctor. She heard about what’s going on. She says Alex’s son is there, and she’s caring for him. Alex is like, thank God, and the doctor asks if she’d like to see him. She told the judge that he baby needs to be breastfed, but she can’t take him out of the nursery. Alex promises, and says she’ll be there as soon as she gets a babysitter.

Alex calls Esperanza, who can’t believe the mess going on with Travis. She says he’s stalking Kelly, who’s in with an officer. Alex asks if there’s any way Esperanza can come and watch the kids; she needs to get to the hospital. She tells Esperanza that she’s allowed to feed the nameless baby. Esperanza says she’ll be there asap, and Alex adds that she needs a ride. Geez.

Lushion tells Natalie that this guy can’t help her and it’s a waste of time, but she says she has to try. A guy knocks at the door and she offers him coffee, but Lushion says he’s here to talk about Joey, not to get free coffee. Natalie takes Lushion into the kitchen, and says he’s welcome to go. Nameless guy tells him not to be upset, and Lushion tells him to do his job. He says Joey violated his probation, and the judge will have to rule on it, and tells Natalie that Joey is getting good care. I don’t know if he’s a lawyer, or caseworker, or what. Natalie says that Joey was starting to turn his life around. The guy says he shot someone, and he wasn’t supposed to have a gun. Natalie asks him if he knows how hard it is for a Black man when he gets out of jail , and that Joey was doing well. He repeats that it’s in the judge’s hands. Lushion tells him to get his ass out. Dude leaves. Lushion tells Natalie they’ll get a lawyer, and if dude is on the case, he’ll have him removed. He knows people. Natalie asks what’s up his sleeve. Lushion says after the house and Joey’s bills, there isn’t much money left, but he knows some people. Natalie says she’s engaged to an OG. She says she liked his jealousy, and he says he wasn’t anything of the kind. He tells her to stop being mad at him when he wants to do things his way. She says he’s always there for her, and he says he’s trying. They hug and kiss and are all happy again.

Marcie visits Louise. Louise says she’s good, and Marcie jokes that they should go shopping. Louise says she’s in good spirits. She was wondering what Marcie was going to say earlier, but Marcie says she doesn’t remember. Louise doesn’t believe it, and tells her, out with it. Marcie says it’s Brad. She’s in love with him. Louise asks if she’s sure, and she says she is. Louise asks when it happened, but Marcie doesn’t know. Louise tells her to be careful; he’s the rebound man. Marcie says they’re not trying to be together, but it’s nice to feel love, real love, safe and pure. Louise thinks it’s based on sex, but Marcie says they’re not even having sex, but Brad is good with intimacy. Louise suggests she let it go until she’s cleaned up her old house. If she moves into the new one too soon, she won’t get her deposit back. She tells Marcie to make sure she’s over her feelings for Randal before she moves on. Marcie says she still loves Randal, and Louise says all the more reason to slow it down. Marcie says she’ll never be with him, but Louise says never say never. Truth! Every time I’ve said never, it’s happened.

Diane leaves the jail, crying. She calls Kelly and starts yelling at her. Kelly asks how she can help. Diane says she’s at the jail, and they’re not sure when they’re letting Tyrell out on probation. She says if she finds out that Kelly had anything to do with it, she promises her – and she hangs up. Promises her what?

Alex tells the doctor that it’s hard leaving the baby. She says Randal is trying to take him away from her, but it’s his baby too. The doctor asks if she’s sure, since she heard something about multiple partners. Alex asks how she heard it, and the doctor is married to a lawyer, who heard it from another lawyer. Alex asks if she can help. She says the baby needs to be with her, and the doctor suggests co-parenting. Alex says no, telling her that Randal only wants the baby to control her. The doctor says there’s nothing legal she can do unless Alex can come up with something else. She tells Alex she can see the baby as much as she wants to.

Marcie pops in, and the doctor asks how the baby is. Alex is surprised that Marcie is pregnant, and Marcie says this is the bitch who slept with her husband. Now she’s having Alex’s husband’s baby, so they’re even. The doctor is a little freaked, but Marcie says that Alex was bound to find out. Marcie gets in the elevator with Alex. Alex cries while Marcie smirks. Marcie tells her that she loves screwing Brad. She says longest and worst elevator ride ever – for Alex – and singsongs that she’s having a baby, saying that she thinks she’ll name it Brad. She goads Alex while everyone else in the elevator is like, wtf? Marcie announces that Alex slept with her husband, and now she’s sleeping with hers. She says she’s not a bad person; Alex started it. Alex gets off on a random floor, while Marcie shouts it’s not her stop. Why is Marcie acting like she’s five? Is this a hormonal thing?

Natalie asks the girls how they like their room, and they say they feel like princesses. She says they are. Lushion shows Natalie’s younger son his room. He asks where Joey is, and Lushion says he’s in the hospital. The doorbell rings.

It’s the paternity test woman. She needs DNA from the both of them. She says that she needs it from Natalie because of Ramses being murdered. Lushion tells Natalie that it’s because she was in the house, but Natalie doesn’t want them to have her DNA because of Eddie working at the station. I don’t blame her. She realizes that Ramses died in their new house, and gets weird. Lushion says he’ll go first. The woman says she’s also doing a paternity test on him. She tells him that they’re determining the paternity of Alex’s baby without a name. Natalie tells her to get out, and Lushion says she has to leave. She says she’ll have to report that they refused, and Natalie tells her, you do that.

Lushion tells Natalie not to come at him crazy. She says she’s going to come at Alex crazy. Lushion wonders how he got into this, and Natalie says she doesn’t know, but she’ll get him out of it. She asks if he’s sure it’s not his baby, and he heaves a huge sigh.

Ben has a headache. Julius calls, and asks how he likes the car. Ben says he hasn’t driven it yet. He asks Julius what’s up, and Julius says he’s thinking of having a party. There’s going to be a lot of Colombian candy there, and he thinks Ben should stop by. Ben asks if he can bring his girlfriend. Julius says it’s a man’s party, and Ben says, cool. Julius tells him that the price of admission is a file on Eddie. Ben is like, um, uhhh, um, uhh, what? Seriously, that’s what he says. Julius says he needs Eddie’s personal file. Ben asks why. Julius tells him that the first rule of combat is knowing the enemy. Ben doesn’t know if he can get it, but Julius has faith in him. He says he’ll try, but Julius says there’s only doing. He’s not doing something for himself; he’s doing his best friend a favor. Ben says he’ll do it.

Lots of sighing tonight. Ben heaves one, and gets up.

Kelly tells an officer she didn’t tell Travis to take her child. She wants to know why they’re not arresting him, and the officer says they’re looking for him. He asks again, and Kelly wonders if he’s hard of hearing. He gives her a tablet, and tells her to read it. She reads a text that asks Travis to come over because Justice is asleep. She says she never wrote it, and people can manufacture text messages. She asks why he doesn’t believe her, and he’s taking Travis’s word. Is it because he’s a man? She asks if she can get a woman on the case. The officer says that’s insulting. She says what’s insulting is that she has to defend herself. He tells her it’s from the phone company’s records, but she insists she didn’t send it. He shows her another one asking Travis to pick Justice up, and saying that she might have left the oven on. She says she didn’t write that. He says the record shows it came off a tower a few blocks from where she works, and tells her that he follows the law. She says okay, and starts to leave. He says not so fast. He tells her that this guy isn’t into her, and she doesn’t need to be dragging them into it. He says Travis could press charges. Kelly tells him that unless he has a warrant, she’s going home. He tells her that he has one.

Next time, Travis is free to go, Julius talks to Randal about his father’s will, and Marcie taunts Alex in front of Brad.

Below Deck Mediterranean

Captain Sandy gives Malia lessons on the tinder. Not a dating app, the small boat kind of tinder. At the beach, Hannah calls for the food, and finds out it’s coming over with the guests. She wonders if she’s going to last the season. The guests are plied with drinks when they get there. It’s no big shock that the yellow fin tuna tartare is pure artistry.

Sandy talks to Malia. She explains that it’s a learning curve, and she picks up the slack. Malia is hoping to be a captain one day herself.

Lauren is concerned about first impressions, and talks to Wes about wanting to show Hannah that she’s not some bimbo who Bobby brought to the club. Fastest beach picnic ever. In his interview, Bobby talks about being friends with Hannah, and we flash back to him telling her f-u. That’s right, I forgot. He’s a creeper and aggressive.

Hannah wants to get a belly dancer for the guests. She says she’s no stranger to theme nights, and we flash back to a couple of them, but I don’t remember the guests dressing up like monks or whatever is going on in one of the clips. I also still can’t understand a word that Wes says. He’s worse than that redheaded guy (Bryan?) from the last Mediterranean season.

Bobby thinks he’ll be a good asset to Wes, having a few charters under his belt. Adam says he doesn’t know much about tribal themes, but knows that cannibalism isn’t the way to go. The guests take pictures on deck with a gorgeous sunset in the background. The captain decides to park drop anchor near some awesome cliffs. Adam flirts with Malia while he cooks.

The guests apply their war paint. Isn’t this cultural appropriation now? There’s a bunch of stuff about shackles and the anchor, but all I understand is that there’s a problem. It’s apparently a bad one, since the captain says it could be over for them. All Max knows is that if you see the rope at the end of the anchor, you’re screwed. Bobby says in trying to impress the captain, he made a mess. In her interview, the captain says she’s not going to come down on Bobby, but they’ll talk about it after the charter.

The guests sit on the floor to eat. Another beautiful table setting with lots of gold and animal prints. Adam isn’t happy with the main dish, and throws it away. Hannah wonders what she’s supposed to do now, and Adam says give him five minutes. The belly dancer arrives. Hannah says she and Adam are getting along, but there’s something she can’t put her finger on. The guests want the chef to come up and explain the spices to them, and he almost ruins the belly dancing surprise. Wait. He does ruin it. Hannah is like, thanks a lot, although she doesn’t seem like she’s really angry.

Lauren says Bobby won’t even look her in the eye. In his interview, he thinks they’re fine. Hannah brings out the belly dancer and the guests applaud. Hannah wonders when the captain is going to realize she’s good at her job. Lauren and Adam flirt. Wes is on anchor watch, and Bugs keeps him company.

Some early jet skiing is done, and then another fabulous breakfast. Captain Sandy gives instructions to Wes about pulling up the anchor, and tells him about the mistake Bobby made. Wes tries to play matchmaker with Bobby and Malia, but in her interview, Malia says she’s good being free, and tells him to just think of her as one of the deck boys. Wes talks about his girlfriend. Bugs talks to Hannah about communication with Adam, and in her interview, Hannah explains that chefs are temperamental most of the time. Captain Sandy asks Hannah to change for a photograph, and says she’ll get the drinks for the guests. In her interview, the captain says Hannah isn’t used to it being a team effort. The guests take pictures with the crew in their dress uniforms.

It’s time to pull into port. While Lauren is finishing the laundry, there’s a huge noise. She comes out to see glass and blood in the hallway. One of the hatch ports fell open and shattered a shower door, which unfortunately exploded all over Malia. The first aid kit is called for. Bobby goes into firefighter/EMT mode. He and Hannah argue about him looking at Malia’s wound while she’s not dressed (she was washing off in the shower). He thinks Hannah has marked her territory after last season. Malia is glad he can handle the situation, but thinks he still wanted to see her nakey.

The guests talk about this being the best vacation ever, but it’s time to say good-by. The primary tells Captain Sandy it was spectacular and cool to have a female captain. These guys don’t even change before counting the money. The captain gives them performance notes, and tells them what they need to work on, saying they’ll figure it out together. The take is $15K, or $1,375 each. Captain Sandy says she’d like to take them out to dinner.

She also wants to have a meeting with Hannah, who feels like she’s being called to the principal’s office. The captain gives her a bunch of compliments and says she’s impressed. (Ah-ha! in Nelson voice.) She points out that they also have the same color eyes. Wes makes fun of Bobby helping Malia. Everyone gets ready to go out.

Wes tells us he suffers from FOMO. I don’t blame him since he has to stay behind to babysit the boat. The town is beautiful, with castles and grottos and whatnot. The captain toasts to a successful first charter. She jets after dinner, and the crew talks about relationships. Wes arrives, and the group moves on to a club. The drinking and dancing commences. Hannah dances with Malia, and says she’ll be Malia’s big sister. Bobby is afraid she’s cockblocking him. On the way back to the boat, everyone gets goofy.

Bobby tells the guys his concerns about Hannah. Wes thinks it looks like Hannah trying to hook up with Malia. I agree.

Back on the boat, Bobby tries to find out what Hannah was telling Malia. Then he follows Hannah around, asking what he told her. He starts cursing Hannah out, saying she throws him under the bus; she did it in New York with Lauren. He calls her an alcoholic, and says she won’t remember it in the morning. She asks what she’s done to him. Malia tells him that they weren’t talking about him. Hannah points out that Bobby is being aggressive, which makes him more aggressive. She asks what she said that was bad about him, and Bobby tells her get out. In her interview, Hannah says she’ll remember this conversation for a Very. Long. Time.

Next time, the primary is Mr. Skin who owns a nudie website and wants to do a naked news photo shoot, Bugs says unmentionable parts are staring her in the eyeballs, a sink backs up (I don’t want to know), and Bobby acts like a jerk yet again.

😱 Hey, how about that Abby Lee Miller? 😱

Croatia

Croatia

 

May9

May 8, 2017 – Jason Goes to Greece, Patricia Plays Matchmaker & Phaedra is Out

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What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

 

 

General Hospital

Sonny tells Michael that he and Carly don’t want him caught in the middle. Michael says the kids can handle the divorce, but Carly has all the leverage and she’s not afraid to use it. He asks if Sonny wants to take Avery away from her family and into exile. Sonny says he wants to keep what’s his.

Carly wonders what business Ava has with her attorney. Ava says she’s an interested third party, explaining that she’s Avery’s mother. She thinks about Sonny taking his ring off before he followed Martina to her room. She starts to explain about needing a family law attorney, but Martina says when she’s done, she’s going back to the West Coast.  Ava says that when lawyers say something can’t happen, it usually means they want the pot sweetened. She asks if Martina would reconsider.

Sam is on her phone at the hospital. She tells Jason to be careful. Elizabeth asks if everything okay. Sam says she came there to tell her something, but Franco approaches, and she says it can wait. Elizabeth says that Jake involves all four of them. Sam says it has nothing to do with Jake. Elizabeth says it must be about Jason.

In Greece, Jason looks at the drawing from the book. He puts a weapon together. He waits.

Carly tells Martina that Ava is hoping to use the divorce for her own gain, but she has all the leverage. Ava says she’s as charm free as ever. Ava wanders off, and Carly tells Martina that she and Sonny are in full agreement about Avery. He has her full support, and there’s nothing Ava can do to change that. Ava sneakily takes a picture on her phone.

Michael tells Sonny that all Carly’s lawyer has to do is prove the documents valid. Sonny says everybody has weaknesses, and her lawyer is too confident and shows her cards. Michael says the longer it takes, Carly will start to realize that it’s better for them to just take out of the marriage what they brought in. He’ll be working on her, and with any luck, things will work out with Jax. He says that Sonny took advantage, and if they keep acting on their worst impulses, it will wreck the both of them. Ava sends Sonny a picture of Carly and her lawyer, and texts that they need to talk.

Franco says he knows that he makes Sam uncomfortable, and starts to leave, but Elizabeth says no. Sam tells them that Jason is on his way to Cassadine Island.

Jason grabs a waitress’s arm. It’s Daphne. He tells her that it’s been a long time. Daphne says she could lose her job. She asks what he wants; she’s done nothing wrong. Jason says that’s a matter of opinion. Daphne says that Helena used her life the way she used everyone else’s. Jason says he believes her, and Daphne asks why he’s here. He says he’s here for another reason, and shows her Jake’s picture. He asks if she knows who he is.

Sam says nothing good happens on Cassadine Island, but Elizabeth says if there are any clues, that’s where they’ll be.

Martina yammers on about the divorce proceedings, but Carly isn’t paying attention. She says that Carly wants all the assets that are already signed over to her, and she says she’s protecting a trust for the children. Martina still wants Michael to testify, but Carly says no. they don’t want the divorce to affect the kids. Like it isn’t already. If Sonny has to leave the country, he’ll have to take Avery, and Carly won’t be able to see her, but Carly says he is a good father. Martina doesn’t get why Carly is speaking up for Sonny. Is she divorcing or defending him?

Sonny tells Michael that Ava is coming over to discuss Avery’s preschool. Michael gripes that he hasn’t spent time with Avery, and Sonny suggests he meet her over at the park. Michael tells him to take his time with the divorce. Michael leaves, and Sonny looks at a family photo. The doorbell rings. It’s Ava.

Ava says he won’t regret taking the time to see her. Sonny says that she might. She asks if Avery is upstairs, but Sonny says she’s in the park with a nanny. Ava says it’s too bad she spends so much time with caretakers, but Sonny tells her that Michael is joining them. She says she admires him for fighting for what’s rightfully his by any means necessary. She asks if he got the picture, and says that the woman she saw him with at The Haunted Star is Carly’s divorce attorney. She says good move, but if Carly finds out he bedded her lawyer, there’s going to be trouble. Sonny says he hopes she didn’t come there to threaten him.

Carly tells Martina that she’s not defending Sonny as a husband, but they don’t want the kids involved. Martina tells her to think of it as a corporation, and gives her some instructions. She also tells Carly to start a journal. Take stock of what she’s put into the marriage – time, emotions, finances. She’s been a mother to Avery too, which takes time and effort. She asks if Sonny every had any illnesses or surgeries, and Carly says he was shot a while back. Martina suggests she make a list of how Sonny undermined her making the marriage work. She says everything matters to a judge’s evaluation. She tells Carly that she noticed Carly isn’t wearing her rings, and tells her to put them back on.

Michael sees Avery – who’s had a spurt of soap opera growth – at the park. Nelle and Charlotte are also there, and Michael asks them to stay for a while.

Jason asks if Daphne has seen the boy before, but she says no. She says she heard rumors about a boy Helena rescued, but never saw him. She says Helena belonged on the island, and she couldn’t wait to leave it. Jason shows her the picture from Jake’s book, and asks if any of it is familiar.

Franco gets a call, and takes Elizabeth aside. He says he has an appointment, and she asks if it’s the art commission. He says something like that, and tells her that he loves her. He leaves, and she goes back to Sam. Sam thinks Scout has a fever, and is concerned about her immune system being compromised, since she wasn’t exactly born under normal circumstances. Elizabeth thinks Scout is okay, but calls the staff pediatrician.

Daphne asks where Jason got the picture, and he says from Helena. She says maybe it’s a harmless fairytale, but he thinks it might exist on Cassadine Island. She doesn’t want to talk about it, and he says she’s going to take him there.

Charlotte and Avery go to look at flowers. Nelle asks if Michael needed a break from ELQ, but he says he’s tired of being stuck in the middle of the divorce. Nelle says that she’s sorry for the umpteenth time, but he says it’s on them at this point. He tells her that Carly wants to protect him from Nelle, but he’ll see her if he wants.

Carly takes her rings out of her purse. She says that she noticed Sonny took his off. Martina says it seems small, but makes a statement that she has investment in the marriage. Andre interrupts, asking Carly if she has a minute. Martina says she’ll be back with more questions later. Carly tells Andre that she and Sonny are getting a divorce. Andre was hoping old wounds would heal after they received the analysis of Morgan’s pills, but she says it wasn’t the pills that made Morgan spiral.

Ava tells Sonny that she saw what she saw. Would he need to take off his wedding band to play cards? He says what if Martina was hitting on him? She asks if Martina seduced him, and he asks if Ava can prove she didn’t. All Carly will do if she finds out is fire her and get another lawyer. He tells Ava that it won’t get her anywhere near Avery. He says no matter how pissed off they are at each other, they come together for the kids, and Carly doesn’t want Avery in Ava’s hands. Ava says she won’t say anything, but there’s something he can offer her.

Scout is fine. Elizabeth tells Sam that she would have reacted the same way.

Michael tells Nelle that his family is a dysfunctional mess, but his mom is trying to give him advice. She was sure he’d be snowed because Nelle didn’t testify against Jax. Charlotte gives Michael some flowers that she picked, and says they’re for him to give to Nelle.

Carly tells Andre everything was correct; the pills were lithium and Morgan was taking them as prescribed. Andre was hoping the lab found out it was a bad batch. He’s sorry he wasn’t more help. She says sometimes there just aren’t any answers. She’ll never know why the pills stopped working; Morgan’s spiral just happened.

Ava says she’s not asking for the moon. She’d just like to spend the weekend with Avery. He says she’s working overtime at spinning, but she says she only wants to work together as a team for Avery. He asks who she thinks she’s talking to; he knows her, and she can’t take advantage of his break-up with Carly. She says it’s better to work with him, and she’s not threatening him. When he just looks at her, she takes it as a yes, and says she’ll be there Friday to pick Avery up.

Sonny calls someone. He says the person knows the thing he planned for. Get ready to pull the trigger, and do it now.

Sam thanks Elizabeth for being patient. She says she’s returning the favor. Sam says at the end of the day, it’s about Jake. She leaves, and Elizabeth gets a text from Franco saying he’ll be late.

Daphne doesn’t want to go to the island. Jason tells her that Helena is dead, but Daphne says he’s underestimating what her evil spirit can do. I think he’s underestimating her deadness. Daphne begs him not to make her go, and says that she’ll draw him a map. He agrees. She gives him directions to the place he’s looking for. He says if she’s lying, he’ll be back.

Michael gives Nelle the flowers, and she thanks him. Ava pops out of nowhere, and Nelle is suddenly busy with the kids. Ava wants to see her daughter, but Michael says it’s not her day. He texts Sonny, and Ava says that Avery is her daughter. Michael gets reply text, and tells Ava that she can see Avery for fifteen minutes. Ava tells Michael that he might not be Sonny’s biological child, but he’s exactly like him.

Ava tells Avery about the new school she’ll be going to. Charlotte tries to play matchmaker with Michael and Nelle, saying he’s supposed to tell Nelle that she’s prettier than the flowers. Nelle suggests they share the flowers, and Michael puts one in Charlotte’s hair. Ava tells Avery that they’ll be spending more time together

Andre tells Carly that it still bothers him why Morgan stopped responding to treatment. He tells her the death of a child can be devastating and his door is always open if she needs to talk, personally or professionally. She says she might take him up on it, but right now she has to go over paperwork. He asks if he can have a copy of the lab results for Morgan’s file. She says he can keep it; she doesn’t need it. He looks at the report while he’s waiting for the elevator, and sees 300 mg prescribed. He says to himself that he prescribed 600. He makes a call and asks for Morgan’s file to be pulled.

Sonny drinks coffee out of a teeny, tiny cup. Martina arrives and asks what he wants.

Tomorrow, Valentin asks Anna why she’s there, Lulu tells Laura that she’ll play nice with the Cassadines, and Franco shows up in Greece.

Southern Charm

Cameran waits for Craig at a house she’s showing him. He has an issue with tardiness.

Shep gets rid of his girl from the night before, explaining how that works to us. His phone rings. It’s the doctor calling to go over his bloodwork. His liver enzymes are elevated, which should be no surprise to anyone. The doctor says it’s not a problem yet, but his liver is inflamed, and he’d like to recheck the numbers in a few months. Shep is concerned about the party ending, but says sometimes you need a wake-up call.

Chauncey! Patricia talks to Whitney by the pool. He tells her that Thomas is concerned that he’s losing his mojo. He feels like he’s getting older and his time is running out. Patricia wonders why Whitney doesn’t feel that way. She tells him about her conversation with Landon, and suggests having a dinner party and seating her and Thomas next to each other. Whitney says romance is in the air.

Craig finally shows up. Cameran says she loves him, but he’s always late. They go inside to look at the house. He starts complaining, and she tells him it’s not Shangri-La; it’s a rental property. It’s still a no. In her interview, Cameran says that Craig isn’t realistic. She wants to know exactly what he wants. He wants to put an offer down in the next two weeks. In her interview, she tells us that he has caviar taste on a Vienna sausage budget. She asks what Naomie thinks, and he tells her they had a tense dinner where she said she wants him to focus on just one thing. Cameran tells him that communication has to be the foundation of a relationship, and it sounds like he’s telling Naomie what she wants to hear. She tells him that he has to think about the big picture. He says he can’t base his decisions on what Naomie wants just to appease her. Cameran says that’s called marriage.

Kathryn calls Shep, wanting to catch up. She asks if he wants to meet her after yoga class, and he asks if he can come to the class. He says he’s taking a break from the “madness of downtown.” I translate that to mean he’s staying away from the bar.

Austen picks up Chelsea. He doesn’t know where it’s going, but thinks there’s no reason to stop. They go to a bar, and he orders several different beers. He thinks there’s no one out there who doesn’t like beer, they just haven’t found the right one yet. They discuss Shep’s birthday. He tells Chelsea that they had a conversation about her, and we flash back to that. She asks if he’s concerned about bro code, but he feels like he’s done his due diligence. He doesn’t think a girl would put the kibosh on their friendship.

Cameran brings her hoodoo doll to a restaurant where she’s meeting Shep. She tells him that Mama Estelle protects against evil, and explains that a dog and woman haunt the restaurant. Shep tells her about the upcoming yoga class. He says he’s had a life-changing epiphany. The doctor says that he has a wandering enzyme in his liver, and he’s trying to change his ways. In her interview, Cameran thinks Shep is bored, and if he met someone, it would give him more options.

She tells Shep that she was going to put a spell on him, but decided against it. She thought he should fall in love with Chelsea, but he says that Chelsea is actively dating Austen. Cameran asks how he intends on getting to his ultimate goal, and tells him that the conversation is getting old. She gives him a box, and tells him to put what’s inside on her front porch. It’s a male doll that Cameran says will weave a love spell. Shep thinks he might have problems with a local detective if he puts it on anyone’s porch. Cameran tells him it’s anatomically correct, and after taking a glance, he says he’s envious.

Michael sets the table. Patricia tells us a casual dinner party is easy. She plans the menu, and someone else does the rest. She talks about going to Costco for iquor, which I find hard to believe. If anything, she sends someone else there.

Craig works on his embroidery. Naomie is less than impressed. She says it’s been tense, and she’s pissed off because he thinks she’s in the wrong. He tells her that he found a house, but she says it’s hard to take him seriously when he’s at the sewing machine. She thinks he’s being prissy, and he says he’s afraid she’s going to be mean. In his interview, he says he hates not being supported, and whenever he gets excited about something, Naomie rains on his parade. Landon calls, and asks if he’s going to Jennifer’s sip and see, and tells him about Patricia’s dinner party. He says it’s been a while since they were invited to Patricia’s, but he really doesn’t care.

Cameran says Whitney and Patricia need to get a new hobby, since this is a terrible, horrible, really bad idea to play matchmaker with Thomas and Landon. In his interview, Thomas realizes it’s a set-up. Patricia shows them her new bell that looks like a turtle. Cameron says they do matchmaking in different ways – Patricia hosts a dinner party, and she has a doll. They discuss Jennifer’s sip and see. Cameran talks about Craig’s new sewing efforts, and Patricia says anyone can change if they meet the right person. Cameran asks Thomas if he has any prospects.

Thomas deflects, asking Landon about Drew. In her interview, Landon talks about the double standard when it comes to women dating younger men. Patricia asks if Landon wants a long-term relationship. Landon thinks eventually she does, but Drew is safe for right now, since she doesn’t want to marry him. Cameran cuts to the chase, and asks why she and Thomas don’t go out. The topic turns to prenups. Thomas says he’d trust Landon, but Patricia says everyone should have a prenup, especially him.

Kathryn arrives at yoga class. She says it’s been huge in her recovery, especially in dealing with her anxiety. Shep walks in and introduces himself to the class. He tries to follow the instructor. In her interview, Kathryn says this is a side of Shep she hasn’t seen, but she thinks he’s also enjoying the view. He says it’s like a sobriety test, and basically stumbles through the positions. After class, he talks to Kathryn. She says that a lot has gone on, but right now, she’s taking it easy. He asks about rehab, and she says it’s been a lot of work, but she’s happy. He tells her he’s taking a break from drinking. We see him making smoothies. He tells Kathryn that he wants to see what sobriety is like. He talks about what a drinking town it is. Kathryn says she’s glad that he’s making an effort. She says namaste and he says namast-leave. Ha-ha!

Austen meets his parents for dinner. He has a great relationship with them, and his mother is the matriarch of the family. He tells them about going out with Chelsea. In his interview, he says he knows they want a wedding and grandchildren. His mother says it’s good that he likes what he’s doing, but there comes a point where you have to make a living. He says he’s uncertain as to what he wants to do, and they make it seem like a tragedy. His father says at some point he’s going to meet someone, and he’ll want to show them that he has a life. His mother asks what his plans are, and they’re nothing specific. She thinks he should start thinking of a business plan, but he says it’s scary because then his roots will be set. His father tells him to get out of his comfort zone. In his interview, Austen says the thought of letting his parents down is soul crushing. His father thinks maybe he could plan a few steps ahead.

Jennifer is getting ready for her sip and see. Thomas brings Kensie along. He says he needs a drinky-poo and I retch, especially since he’s talking to another adult. He tells Landon that she looks elegant, and my stomach turns. He’s such a creeper. Ascher is brought out for the see part, and gets passed around like a football. Naomie arrives without Craig; she’s tired of him not being on time. When Craig gets there, Cameran talks to him about the rental property. JD (bleh) and Elizabeth arrive on his motorcycle. I just plain don’t like them.

Naomie tells Cameran that she’s sad about Patricia not inviting them to dinner. Shep doesn’t think they’re being left out, and says he didn’t go either. Cameran thinks she was only a buffer in the matchmaking process. Jennifer goes outside and asks Craig why everyone is arguing about him inside. In his interview, he says this is what he means about loyalty, and he’s disappointed that Naomie was talking about him. Cameran tells Craig they have a counter-offer, and it’s better than they expected.

Jennifer talks to Thomas about Kathryn’s anger issues with her. Kathryn thinks Jennifer is sympathizing with Thomas. He says he hopes and prays that everything works out, and she tells him not to bring random chicks around the kids. Craig tells Naomie about the house offer. He says he thought she was joking about leaving without him, but she says she’s tired of him making her late. He tells her it’s not like she hasn’t kept him waiting. In his interview, he says he’s literally dating a teenage girl, and the way Naomie is behaving is disheartening.

Craig tells Naomie to go ahead and tell everyone about their lives. She says she just wanted to teach him to be ready on time. He says he doesn’t agree with her reasoning. She says she’s ready to go, and he says they drove separately, so good-by. He reminds her he’s never left without her. JD (bleh) tells Naomie this is what relationships are like. Craig says Naomie acts like a moron and a spoiled child, and wants to air their dirty laundry. He thinks the relationship is a joke.

Next time, a duck (or pheasant or some bird) hunting trip, Patricia talks to Landon about Thomas, and Kathryn gets a text from Thomas.

🍸 I’m going to check out Southern Charm Savannah, but I honestly don’t think we need another one. It’s apparently more about old money there. Although a Jewish family in the cast might add a new dimension. There’s also something about Grey Gardens on FOX’s ten o’clock news, so I’m going to flip back and forth. The house is for sale again, so I only have about $19,994,000 to go before I can buy it. Even with all the money she had to pump into it, Sally Quinn is going to make a nice profit. Little Edie sold it to her for $220,000 in 1979, under the proviso it not be torn down. She restored it and it’s fabulous.

🍑 And yes, Phaedra has lost her Real Housewives job. And rightly so. Part four of the reunion was at best, unsettling, and at worst, just about every foul word you can think of, all courtesy of Ms. Parks. She not only told Porsha that she personally heard Kandi say that she and Todd wanted to drug and rape Porsha, she also made up the Todd-as-Marvin story, saying that Todd had created an alter-ego in order to cheat on Kandi in NYC. The craziest part of the whole thing was Phaedra’s reaction. Which was nothing. She blinked like a deer in headlights, and said absolutely nothing. Oh, once in a while she made I’m sorry noises, but it was all that double-speak sorry stuff. Like, I’m sorry about what happened, not I’m sorry I’m the biggest a-hole on the planet and made up such a disgusting and damaging story. There was a lot of walking off, and then back on, the set, some yelling, and an abundance of stunned looks. Needless to say, nothing is surprising coming from Porsha – who, we must always remind ourselves, thought the Underground Railroad was a choo-choo train – but Phaedra is a lawyer and should have known better. She’ll be lucky if she doesn’t lose her practice to Kandi, who should definitely sue the pants, shirt, and any other apparel off of her. What a shame. She was the best dressed on the reunion too.

We’re told Bravo felt like Phaedra’s allegations were so out of line, they simply couldn’t continue working with her and informed her in early April. – TMZ.com

cynthia-bye

May8

May 7, 2017 – A Musical Fairy Tale Wedding, Mary, an Atlanta Mention & a Quote

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What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

 

 

Once Upon a Time – the Musical Episode

Young Emma sings into a tape recorder. Her sister makes fun of her. She says that Emma is just like everybody else – all alone.

Moving forward, Snow has found her old wedding gown, and asks Emma if she wants to wear it. Snow never thought they’d have a moment like this. Kelly Clarkson appears and…just kidding.

Back in the day, Snow says there’s no way they can stop the Evil Queen. Charming tells her that they will, and she needs some rest. On the balcony, she wishes for a happy ending, and a star glows brightly.

Bluebirds, well, really a parakeet, wake Snow. She’s surprised to find herself singing. Charming comes in, singing that someone has cast a spell or curse, because he can’t stop singing in verse. Snow sings that it’s because of her wish, and they’ll defeat the Evil Queen. They sing about love being the most powerful magic of all. This is pretty cool, and I’m already impressed with the sets and costumes. And the lyrics actually aren’t awful. Surprisingly, the cast can also sing. Although there is the magic that is autotune.

In Storybrooke, Snow brings her dress back from the cleaners, but it turns black when Emma holds it up. The Black Fairy pops in, poof! in a cloud of black smoke. She says she was never a fan of white weddings, and light and dark must have their reckonings. Unless Emma wants to give over her heart now. She says deep down, Emma is still the lonely little girl she always was, and the final battle is coming, whether they want it to or not.

The Black Fairy plans on separating the friends with a curse. When the clock strikes six – at the time Emma and Hook are to be married – it will be released. Regina says she ruined Snow’s wedding, the least she can do is help Emma have hers.

Way back when, the Evil Queen and her mirror sing a duet about the spell that’s been cast. The mirror tells her that her curse might not succeed. We see the Seven Dwarves, Pinocchio, and the others singing happily in every mirror the queen passes. It makes her go ballistic. The queen sings about love being a waste of time, how it can’t match her power, and doesn’t stand a chance. BTW, Lana Parrilla (Regina) has a great voice. I’d love to see her on Broadway. The Evil Queen breaks into everyone else’s happy scenes, dancing on the tables and kicking things over.

Right now, Hook looks at his white suit, and asks David if he thinks Emma would be disappointed if he doesn’t wear it. Emma comes in, and tells him about the Black Fairy’s curse. She says she has to fight the final battle alone. She tells him not to worry; she’ll be at the wedding on time. He says that’s not it; he knows she’s come to say good-by. She tells him she loves him, and jets.

Back in the day, Snow and Charming go to a tavern to find Hook. Charming wants him to take them to the Evil Queen. They’re prepared to pay handsomely. Hook sings about revenge, and how it’s worth more than anything else. When Snow asks revenge on who, he tells her to wait for the second verse. I’m liking these songs. Is the soundtrack available? Hook sings about how the crocodile ruined his life. He sings about the Dark One, and Charming says he’s in their dungeon. Snow tells him that if he can help them, he has himself a crocodile. Colin O’Donoghue (Hook) can definitely co-star in my Broadway show.

In the present, Hook goes to Gold’s shop. He says Gold betrayed all of them, but Gold says he did what he needed to do to keep his family together. Hook shoots him with a dart. He wants to knock him out long enough to get his mother. The Black Fairy appears, and says her son isn’t the only one looking out for his family.

Emma is in her office, gathering some pictures. Henry tells Emma that she’s doing the right thing. The final battle is what brought her there in the first place, and he knows she’ll win. He hits play on the cassette player on her desk, but Emma turns it off, saying it was nothing. She has to hurry, and hugs Henry good-by.

Regina can’t find anything, but Zelena says there must be something she used back then that she can use this time. Regina says the first curse stopped time, so maybe there is something.

The Evil Queen visits Rumpelstiltskin in his cell. She says Snow and Charming are using a singing spell to break her curse, and he’s going to help stop them. He says he didn’t teach her to come crying to him at the first sign of trouble. If she wants to prove that he chose the right one, fix it herself.

Zelena sings about Rumpel choosing the wrong witch. She thinks the future is looking more appealing now. She’s happy things aren’t working out for Regina. She sings about how wicked always wins, while terrorizing some stray Munchkins. She wonders why just revel in her demise, when she can use it to her advantage? When Regina wins, she’ll swoop in, and Rumpel will realize his mistake. She stirs her cauldron, singing that the happy ending will be hers.

Fast forwarding, Regina shows the group a vial. She says it’s the secret to stopping the curse. Regina wonders what their teacher would say. Rumpel appears, and says, how about thank you, and magically snatches the vial back.

Emma visits the Black Fairy. She asks if Emma is going to give up. The Black Fairy says she was going to separate Emma from her friends, but they did it for her. Some grey smoke clears, and everyone is standing there, frozen. The Black Fairy says she’s been watching Emma for a long time, and plays the tape Emma made as a child. The fairy says she went to sleep to sounds of misery like that every night in the mines. She tells Emma that she can’t do this alone.

At the office, Emma’s hand shakes, and Henry asks what the Black Fairy did. He tells Emma that even if she froze their family, she’s not alone. Emma says that the fairy reminded her of a time when she was on her own, and when something big came along, she ran. She says she wasn’t brave enough to keep him, but Henry says that was a long time ago, and she’s changed. Emma says that’s because he came into her life. He says she’s the Savior, and she can still beat the Black Fairy and save them. Emma thinks maybe she’s supposed to give the Black Fairy her heart. He says that’s not the way the story ends, but Emma says at least he’ll still have the family.

In the past, the Evil Queen appears, and Charming suggests she come with him and Snow. She makes a fireball, and is about to lob it at them, and they start singing. She misses them, and sings about her own magic and how love doesn’t stand a chance. They have a song duel. The Evil Queen sings that the spell will still be broken. She opens a box and sucks their singing into it. She tells them that she’s won. She didn’t just take their song; she took everyone’s. She says it proves love isn’t the strongest magic, and tells them to enjoy what time they have left. They disappear, poof! in a puff of purple smoke.

Snow and Charming stand on the balcony. The Blue Fairy appears. Snow says it was Blue who granted the wish. Charming tells Blue that the Evil Queen took the song. Blue says it’s still inside all of them, but it wasn’t meant to conquer the Evil Queen; it was for Emma. With everyone’s song in her heart, she’ll have a happy ending. One day she’ll face a battle that no one has faced before, and she’ll have to face it alone. Their songs will be inside her, and they have to hope they’’ll come out when she needs them the most.

In the here and now, Henry says there has to be a different ending to the story. He sees a page from the book he hasn’t seen before. It’s Blue, giving Snow the songs for Emma. Henry says that Emma’s not alone and never was.

Emma tells the Black Fairy she can have what she came for – Emma’s heart. The Black Fairy says it’s a deal. Emma tells the frozen Hook that she’s sorry, but it’s the only way. The Black Fairy says at least one of them is getting a happy ending, and takes Emma’s heart. She wonders why Emma won’t die. Henry walks in, saying that Emma’s heart is stronger than the Black Fairy thinks. He plays the song that Emma sang as a child, and says it’s been in her the whole time. It’s not her weakness; it’s her strength. Emma sings about once living in darkness. As she sings, her heart returns to her. She sings that the song in her heart is more powerful than the Black Fairy. She knows what she’s living for; all along the answer was inside her. As she sings, everyone comes back to life. She tells the Black Fairy she’s not alone any more. The Black Fairy says her curse is still coming, and the final battle will be worse than they can imagine. She disappears, poof! in a puff of slate smoke.

Emma says that Snow and David were always with her. Suddenly, we’re at the wedding.

Floral arches abound, and Archie is officiating. Hook wears black, and Emma looks like Grace Kelly, in a beautiful old-fashioned, high collared wedding gown, with lots of tiny buttons and lace. We go right to the vows. Hook says when they met he had a heart of revenge, but now it’s full of love. He says a captain’s heart belongs to his ship, but with this ring, it now belongs to her. She tells him that she spent so much of her life on her own, but Henry found her and helped her find the rest of them. She didn’t believe she’d ever find true love, but thanks to him, she has. They exchange rings and I dos. Archie pronounces them husband and wife. Much applause. Hook says they did it; a happy ending. Emma says it’s something else – a happy beginning.

They sing about happily ever after as they dance their first dance. The others join them, singing that if they stand strong together, there’s no way they can fall. They sing about happy beginnings, and there’s much dancing on the rooftop. Where’s Pongo?

They look to the sky. The clock in the tower explodes. The Black Fairy’s curse is here. Like humongous octopus tentacles, black smoke snakes out of the clocktower and envelops them.

Next time, the two-hour season finale. A final curse is cast, all the realms will be destroyed, and Snow tells Hook to make Emma believe again.

🐎 Tonight, on Return to Amish, we learned Mary’s story. I nearly went out of my mind when Abe and Mary went on a road trip, and she insisted on stopping at an abandoned amusement park. That’s one of my dream trips, visiting abandoned places. It turns out that Mary had a boyfriend who worked a Ferris wheel, and she told us about how she ran away with the carnival, and got pregnant the first time. She also has a secret car, and finally got her license. Mary is full of surprises. I think we could all learn a lot from Mary. Next time, she does some line and pole dancing.

🍑 I’ll be checking out part four of the Atlanta Housewives reunion later. It’s imperative that I see Kandi crying out about the lies! the lies! while Kenya looks on like the Cheshire Cat. I like Kenya. I think she’s made some poor choices due to her need for attention. but given her family life, that’s understandable. She certainly got more than she could handle with Matt this season. If anyone deserves to sit back and watch Phaedra and Porsha sink themselves, it’s Kenya.

🐦 🐝 Because I grew up Mennonite, the first time I learned about sex was when I had sex. – Sabrina, Return to Amish

OUAT-Hook&amp;Emma

🎶 And yes, the soundtrack is already available:

https://www.bustle.com/p/the-once-upon-a-time-the-musical-episode-soundtrack-is-already-available-for-repeat-listening-55235