What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

 

 

The Shahs of Sunset

Reza and Adam fill out forms at a fertility clinic. Reza is filled with fears and questions. He notes that the doctor’s desk cost ten grand, and figures he’ll be paying personally for that. I understand this, having taken pets to the emergency vet, where they have a free latte machine and a concierge. They discuss surrogacy. The idea is to fertilize two eggs, one for each of them. Just in case you were wondering, they’d be twins. The price is between $120K and $160K. Reza nearly has apoplexy.

MJ visits Shams at the hospital. She tells him about going to Israel for a week. His advice is to find a Jewish friend. She isn’t thrilled about leaving him, but feels that life is telling her to go. She puts some pictures and handmade cards on the wall. She wants to make a baby Shams, who her father can see himself in. I hate to say this, but I’m not so sure that, even if she got pregnant tomorrow, he would be around to see the baby.

GG goes to dinner with new squeeze, and neighbor, Shalom. Her parents will be joining them. She’s so nervous she wants to fart, so only orders sake, which makes perfect sense. She tells us she rarely introduces a boyfriend to her parents, since she can’t see herself living out her life with most of them. We flash back to the losers she’s dated. She says it’s very different for Persian Jews and Persian Muslims to mix, so Shalom being Jewish is the only drawback. GG’s parents arrive. In her interview, she says she’s done a lot of things they haven’t approved of, but if they see something she doesn’t, she’ll never look back. Her mother is tickled that Shalom knows Farsi. Two seconds into the meal, GG asks her parents if it’s a yes, but some sake is spilled, taking the attention away. Her father gets all serious, and says she knows his opinion about her dating Jewish people – he doesn’t care. If she’s happy, it’s all good. Ha-ha! He reminds me of my father. When I was a teenager, I thought I’d test him by asking how he’d feel if I brought a Black boyfriend home. He didn’t miss a beat and said, it’s fine – as long as he’s Catholic. (He was kidding around. These days, I feel the necessity to point that out.)

Asa goes shopping for baby furniture. She talks about buying only organic cotton clothing for the baby – unless it’s really cute. Reza joins her. He zeros in on a crib that’s the color of a Mercedes. Asa shows him the mega-stroller she wants, and he tells her about the visit to the clinic and how babies are expensive AF. In his interview, he says he doesn’t have the need Adam does to have a biological child. He’s more interested in giving an already born child a home. He tells Asa about MJ being affected in the most unusual way with her pregnancy news. Asa says that MJ has been toxic lately, and Reza tells her that MJ thinks she puts on a façade that everything is perfect. Asa doesn’t want to focus on other people’s head trips they put on her. Far out, man.

Tommy looks up Israeli dress code for MJ, and it sounds like there isn’t one. MJ tells us they’re officially in baby-making mode, and every time she has to go to the bathroom, she uses an ovulation stick. We wait… It’s a no. She’s starting to wonder if she ovulates at all, but I think that’s a given if you haven’t been through menopause. In her interview, she says Asa got pregnant because she was supposed to have a baby, and the universe is telling her to get on that before it’s too late. She’s annoyed by the rule that when you have to do something, it doesn’t happen. I understand this, having needed to buy a dress for a wedding the day before. Any other time, I’d find a million things I liked, but not that day.

Mike’s brother, David, visits, bearing candy for the family members in Israel. Mike tells us that David is his hero, and helped him through the separation. His father told them that when he and his mother were gone, they would be all they had, and they live under the credo that family is everything. They also discuss wardrobe, and what Mike needs to bring, like a passport. In his interview, Mike says he’s been to Israel at different points in his life, and this time, he’s going as a single man seeking enlightenment. We see pictures of his various trips there.

Adam asks what kind of baby Reza wants, and he says a healthy one. Adam wants one that grows fast, so they can dress her up, and Reza tells him that it’s not a toy. I’ll bet that part is fun though. Someone is coming over to discuss adoption options. Adam wonders if he should offer them a drink, but Reza thinks advocating alcohol is a bad idea. He’s leaving for Israel the next day, but wants Adam to get a dose of reality. Reza says that Adam’s biological clock is ticking, but he’s thinking that it’s just the next phase of the relationship. The representative tells them there are 21,000 foster children, and 20% from the LGBTQ community. She says it’s especially hard to find teenagers homes. Reza tells Adam that they’ll love you just as much, and might even end up looking like you. In his interview, Reza tells us about how he knows of Persian families kicking their gay kids out, and how sometimes they end up dying on the streets. The rep tells them that the age range isn’t an issue on the agency’s end; they just want a family. Reza doesn’t want to push Adam, but wants him to understand why he prefers adoption.

Destiney has had a passport for years, but has never actually traveled, since she’s always working. She and Shervin share a limo to the airport. She asks him about Annalise, and if he’s being faithful. Shervin claims now that he’s older, he’s not as much of a playboy. Asa and GG take a car together. Asa says she misses Jermaine already. She says it might not seem prudent, flying for twenty hours, at 7½ months pregnant, but she’s going on a spiritual, peaceful pilgrimage for her and her baby. Reza and Mike also ride together. Reza says he doesn’t think there are a lot of gay terrorists, so he’s just going to go ♫ he-e-ey ♫ everywhere at the airport. In his interview, Reza gives us some travel tips – look expensive, so you don’t look like you want to die; befriend a TSA agent; and if your name is Mohammed, have your friends call you “Moe” at the airport. I’ll never understand how Reza’s stand-up act went so poorly. He’s a funny guy, and his delivery is perfection.

On the plane, Reza tells GG that whatever they went through, is behind them. I think he’s a little drunk, because he keeps repeating that he’s serious. In her interview, GG says it seems like yesterday they hated one another, and now they’re going to Israel together.

Fastest. Flight. Ever. And they’re already in the detention center. Reza calls it Argo-esque. Mike wonders how the only real Jew in the group is getting detained. MJ and Asa apparently escaped this, and are picking up their luggage. Mike is surprised they didn’t detain Asa, especially since he pointed out her “very Muslim” name. Asa tells MJ that it could be up to five hours. She thinks the two of them were friendlier. Asa points out the tons of balloons that are hitting the airport ceiling.

Destiney gets sprung, and joins Asa and MJ. She says interrogation like an MF, and they asked her about everybody – their names and what they did for a living. Shervin is next, and tells Mike to thank his people for letting him in before Mike. GG and Reza are left as Mike gets the all clear. MJ says she’d be nervous to be the last person left with GG. Reza says she’s a ticking time bomb, and he’s sitting next to the one person who could get him sent back. Geez, they don’t even have books with them, or tablets, or a magazine. Anything.

Mike says he pointed out that he’s been there many times, but they said not with these people. He jokes that he’s reached the maximum capacity of Muslims he can travel with. Reza feels like he’s been wandering the desert for forty years, when he and GG are finally let through. First stop, the hotel lounge.

Let’s just put it this way, it’s not your typical happy hour buffet. The appetizers look like something from a five-star restaurant. GG breaks a glass, and everyone yells L’chaim! In his interview, Reza tells us that Tel Aviv is someplace that Woody Allen would have hung out back in the day. I’m not sure why he comes to this conclusion, but he has a really hard time remembering Woody Allen’s name. They arrange to meet in an hour, and everyone freshens up. Adam FaceTimes with Reza, who tells him about getting detained. The gang gets into a bus/limo, and heads to a restaurant.

It’s dark and beautiful. And you can smoke. Asa is concerned about the baby, and decides to go back to the hotel. Reza asks Destiney what her type is. She says cute, which is both broad and vague. GG tells us that she loves Black guys. Mike tells us he’s not intimidated, because he has a humongous dool, but GG thinks not so much. Outside, MJ tells the girls she’s getting pregnant in a month. GG says she should get married first, but MJ claims it isn’t a bastard unless it’s born before you get married, and she’ll have that taken care of. Reza joins them, and says, who cares? MJ says that she does, and he tells her that she’s forty-four, and her chances of getting pregnant are like winning the lottery. In his interview, he says when you want to get pregnant, you do yoga, and don’t drink and smoke like prohibition starts tomorrow.

Dancing and drinking happens. MJ doesn’t care how long they flew, she doesn’t want tonight to be a dud. They bring new friend Shlomi back to the hotel. MJ keeps saying that she won’t be able to do this a month from now. Shervin has also brought a couple of girls back, and they play spin the bottle. Shlomi takes his pants off. I’m not sure why, but I think it’s part of a drinking/dare game. Reza gets out while the getting is good, and Mike also calls it a night. By the time everyone leaves, Destiny pronounces the room a pigsty. MJ says she’s all about living out her youth as far as she can; in a month, she might be stroller shopping.

Next time, a trip to the Western Wall, Asa wants to film the locals, and Reza wants to get the hell out of Dodge.

Meanwhile in Westeros…

👑 On Game of Thrones, Littlefinger whined to Bran that he wasn’t there for Bran’s mother when she needed him most, and gave him the dagger that nearly killed him as a boy. He promised to be there for Bran now, but Bran probably believed that as much as I do. Arya came back to Winterfell. She got all the feels, and OMG got a smile out of Sansa. They agreed that neither one of their stories had been pleasant ones, but it ain’t over yet. The sisters reunited with Bran, who continues to be zzzzzzzzzzzz… oh sorry, every time I say his name, I fall asleep. He gave Arya the dagger. Jon and Dany checked out the dragonglass mountain, and found hieroglyphics from the Children of the Forest, back when everyone was getting along, and they fought together. Jon told Dany that they have to do the same, because the struggle is real. She agreed to fight for the North… if he bent the knee. He explained that his people won’t accept a Southern ruler, but she said they would if he did, and asked if his survival was more important than his pride. Tyrion and Varys brought the news that Casterly Rock had been taken. Dany decided to fly her dragons to the Red Keep, but Jon told her if she used the dragons to get what she wanted, she’s no different than any of the other rulers before her.

Missandei wondered why Jon’s last name is Snow, and the bastard thing had to be explained to her, because they don’t even have marriage where she comes from. She told them about how Dany released her from slavery, and is the queen they chose. That idiot Theon made it to Dragonstone, but instead of slapping him silly, Jon told him that the only reason he’s not killing him is because of what he did for Sansa. Theon filled them in on what happened with the Greyjoy fleet.

The Dothraki tried to kick Jaime’s ass, with Dany, riding on Drogon, as back-up. She said, Dracarys! and it was all over with. Jaime made the soldiers hold the line, but it didn’t go too well for them. The Dothraki are awesome!  So are dragons. They tried shooting arrows at Dany on the dragon’s back, but got some dracarys for their trouble. That traitor, Bron, hooked up some big catapult weapon thing, and I was hoping that he got burned alive before he had a chance to use it. I’m going to have a heart attack yet over these dragons and direwolves. He hit Drogon, and I nearly had a freaking conniption. I hate Bron now, and want to see his head on a pike. Jaime went after Dany and the wounded dragon, but someone pushed him aside before he got crispied, and he fell into the water. I swear to God, I’m not watching this anymore if that dragon dies. I am so pissed. I don’t care who dies in this show, as long as the dragon lives. I don’t even know what’s happening next week. I was too freaked out.

⚛ A tiny side note on Talking with Chris Hardwick. Since I’ve been watching the Breaking Bad Sunday AMC marathons, I wanted to see the interview with Bryan Cranston. I missed the first half, but got in on the end. He’s another funny guy, and generous with compliments to his castmates. It’s worth mentioning that Aaron Paul, who played Jesse, was only supposed to be on a few episodes before he was killed off. That’s really the sign of a good actor – when they want to keep you on past your deadline. (I’ve previously applauded both Roger Howarth an Tony Geary for the same feat on daytime TV.) Bryan also gave us an interesting quote:

🐝 If you’re wearing bees, it’s not a surprise to get stung. – while discussing a Malcolm in the Middle episode where he wore a suit of bees.

What happens when you say dracarys too loud.