What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

 

 

General Hospital

At the gallery, Felix wants to congratulate the artist, but no one knows where he is.

Franco tells Scotty that Betsy has disappeared when she was supposed to tell him everything. Scotty tells Franco to let it go, but he can’t.

Sonny tells Carly about the facility that Jason is going to. She says their best friend is trapped in his own body. She wants to scream wake up! and misses him so much. Sonny does too.

Lulu and Dante relax on the couch. Charlotte is sleeping and Rocco is away, so they start getting busy. We know how that works. Charlotte interrupts; she wants to call her poppa.

Valentin gives Nina some champagne, and says they’re celebrating her and them as a couple. She says the only thing missing is Charlotte. He says it won’t be long. She tells him regardless, she’d still be there. She loves him for him. He says he wanted her back, and she says he got what he wanted. They kiss.

In St. Petersburg, Ava hunts down Patient 6 in the lounge again. She is just relentless. She tells him she’s starting to think he’s parked there so the staff doesn’t risk contact. She says he doesn’t even move, except his hands. She wonders if she should be scared, since she’s been warned. Even the doctor seemed nervous when she asked about him, and she doesn’t think much intimidates him. She tells Patient 6 that she thinks her consultation went well, but isn’t sure, since everyone is so tight-lipped about everything. Especially him.

Lulu asks Charlotte why she wants to talk to her father. Charlotte wants to know about her friend Bailey having scoliosis. He’s told Charlotte that he had it and got better, so maybe he can help Bailey.

Nina asks if Valentin knows how Ava is doing, and he says she made it to the clinic. Nina doesn’t understand why he’s helping her. She says it’s Ava’s word against his, and she has no evidence to back it up. He says what if, by some stretch of the imagination, Spencer wins. He’ll listen to Ava’s tale, and if by a small chance he convinces the jury, Lulu and Dante will jump on it. He says he’s had to fight for Charlotte since day one, when he stole the embryo. Nina says it’s not stealing if it’s yours, and reminds me of Ratso in Midnight Cowboy, saying if it’s free, he ain’t stealing it. Valentin says if there’s the slightest chance, he’ll eliminate it, and if there’s a small problem, he’s not letting it become a big one. The doorbell rings. Valentin says he’ll send them away, and they can resume celebration.

Ava tells Patient 6 that for all she knows, the story about him being shot is just a story. She wonders why she should trust anyone there. She says what happened to him could have been the result of surgery. She doesn’t like looking in the mirror, but will take it over being a vegetable. She immediately apologizes, but says this place gives her the creeps. It feels like a prison. Patient 6 clenches his fist.

Franco shows Scotty the photo. He says it’s one thing to have an imaginary friend, but another to have proof. He and Jason are in the photo, and dressed the same. It’s not some weird coincidence. Scotty suggests maybe it was baseball shirt day. He admits there’s a resemblance to Jason, but he was Jason’s guardian for a hot second, and has known Jason his entire life. Jason spent his childhood in Port Charles, and this kid isn’t Jason.

Elizabeth asks Felix if he’s sure that he didn’t see Franco mingling. Andre sees the painting of the boys, and says it’s cool. Elizabeth says it’s her favorite, and he tells her that the image is unique. All the work together is undeniably powerful, but in this one, even though there’s a barrier between the two worlds, it feels hopeful. A woman approaches them and says that people died for this garbage, including her sister, and they’re applauding it. She tells them that her sister’s life was worth a million dollars, but there are some things that money can’t fix. She moves toward the painting with something, and Elizabeth blocks her.

Carly tells Sonny that it’s surreal; like going back in time. Sonny says, Michael. Carly tells him that Jason was a rock then, but it’s different now. Before he vanished and came back, he was always there, even before Sonny knew he needed him, but not since he’s come back. Sonny says that Jason has a choice now. She says they could have stopped him. She used to know how he’d react to anything. Now she knows nothing, and it scares her.

Franco asks Scotty why Betsy would run off, unless there’s something big she didn’t want him to know. Scotty asks why it’s so important, and Franco says that his entire childhood could be lie. Scotty says maybe there’s more to it, but that’s crazy. Franco says whoever it is in the picture helped him. He was scared a lot as a kid, and his friend was his champion, and all of a sudden, he was gone. He thought he did something, or was a bad person, and it started him on a spiral. Scotty says that there’s no point in going down that dark, dismal road. The tumor is gone, everything is right in the world, and he wants to burn the picture. He tells Franco to at least put it away for 24 hours. This is his big night.

Charlotte runs to Nina. Lulu says that she wanted to call, but she thought they should come over. Charlotte is worried about a friend, and thought Valentin could help. Charlotte explains that Bailey from dance class might have scoliosis. She asks Valentin if she has it.

Ava tells Patient 6, that the clinic is the opposite from prison, right? It’s an oasis, a miracle casino where you beat the odds. Maybe she’s uncomfortable because she doesn’t think she deserves it. Being beautiful outside doesn’t match what’s inside. She asks about him. Who he was before he became a so-called dangerous psychotic, staring out the window. Is he good inside? Does he have people waiting for him to come home who love him?

When Franco and Scotty return to the gallery, Scotty wonders why the cops are there. Elizabeth’s dress is covered in red paint. She tells Franco that someone tried to deface the painting. He’s impressed that she stood between a vandal and art. She tells him that the woman was a plaintiff in the lawsuit, who lost a sister. Dante has the woman in handcuffs, and she says no one was hurt, unlike Franco’s victims. Dante tells her that she still doesn’t get to vandalize his property. Franco approaches, and asks if Lorraine was her sister. She hopes he’s enjoying showing the artwork that took lives. He tells her that he’s sorry, and she says he’s sick, and no amount of charity or money will change that.

Carly wonders what Jason would want now. She tells Sonny that everything is different. Look how fast Jason got out of the business. Maybe this Jason would want to go to a facility. Sonny says it’s not up to them. Carly understands, but says the Jason she knew would hate this, and wouldn’t want it for any of them. It isn’t living; it’s being in limbo. Sonny says the best case scenario is him waking up and telling him what his wishes are. Carly promises Jason never to leave him again.

Valentin tells Charlotte that he’s had her checked, and she doesn’t have scoliosis. Her spine is perfect. His wasn’t, so he had to get it fixed. He says he can call Bailey’s mom and talk her through the next step.

Ava says since Patient 6 can’t talk, she’ll talk enough for the both of them. Not really, but she just keeps on going. She tells him about her daughters, and how if she hadn’t been injured, one never would have forgiven her. She gets on floor in front of him. She says her list of transgressions is long and distinguished, and she’s not proud of it. Only two people love her; her brother and her girls. She has no friends to speak of; that’s why he was so special. She wouldn’t even know what it’s like to have real friend if not for Nikolas. Patient 6 grabs her hand.

She tells him to let go. Then says, please, he’s hurting her. He releases her, and she asks if he knows Nikolas. A nurse asks what she’s doing; she was told not to bother Patient 6. Ava says she was just talking to him, and he grabbed her. The nurse says that he’s disoriented, and it’s for her own safety. He’s on a lot of medication, and what she perceives as helping, he might not, and it won’t go over well. He used to be in restraints. Ava doesn’t want anything to ruin what freedom he has, and asks if the name Nikolas Cassadine means anything to the nurse. Patient 6’s hands move.

On the phone with Bailey’s mother, Valentin explains about app from Shriners Hospital that helps test for scoliosis. He says then it’s to be followed up with a physical exam. He tells her to call him back after the preliminary check and they can discuss options. Charlotte asks what will happen, and Valentin tells her about Shriners, and says she’ll have to go to the hospital. Charlotte seems distressed, and he says it’s a good thing, and Bailey will get treatment there. She thanks him, and he says that she can always come to him. She says she loves him, and Nina tells her it’s past her bedtime, and walks her out. Lulu thanks Valentin, and he tells her that he does whatever he can for Charlotte. He asks if they can work together for her sake, and she says they’ll take it a day at a time.

Sonny wants to take Carly home, but she doesn’t want to leave. He suggests at least getting some coffee.

Franco asks Dante if this is necessary; he’s not going to press charges. Elizabeth says she’s fine; it’s just a dress. It was a nice one though. Black bamboo print on white. Dante says it’s his call, and uncuffs her. She says she hopes Franco burns in hell, and there will be people lined up to toss matches.

Elizabeth asks where he was, and Franco says getting some fresh air. Andre and Felix congratulate him, and jet. Franco tells Elizabeth he’s sorry she got mixed up in that. His past never stops rearing its ugly head. Scotty suggests a nightcap, but Elizabeth wants to be there when Jason is moved. Franco says he’ll go with her.

Lulu and Charlotte make a friendship bracelet for Bailey. Charlotte goes upstairs and Lulu says she made the right call.

Nina wonders why it was hard for Valentin to talk to Charlotte about his illness. It wasn’t his fault. He says he wants to be her hero, and when she comes to him, wants to move mountains. He doesn’t want her to see him as sickly or weak. Nina says she hates the word sickly, and maybe he was that, but never weak. She tells him that he should probably show her his old picture before she sees it by accident or becomes curious. He says she’ll be horrified, and Nina says she wasn’t; maybe startled because he looks different. Charlotte might be startles, but she’ll see the man in the photograph and know it’s him. She’ll see the hero who moves mountains. That’s all that matters because she loves him. Just like it’s all that matters to Nina.

The nurse tells Ava that the only Cassadine she knows is Valentin. Ava says when she said his name. Patient 6 grabbed her. The nurse says he’s very strong and fast, and impossible to predict; they never know what to expect. Now she’ll have to report it, and they’ll increase his medication. Ava says she was told not to bother him, and she doesn’t want it known that she broke the rules, or the patient to get more medication because of her. The nurse says she’ll let it go this time, but tells Ava to remember that her actions have consequences for him. She takes Ava back to her room. Patient 6 moves his hand some more.

At the hospital, Franco asks Elizabeth how Jason is, and she says the same. Sam and Alexis are touring the facility, and he should go home and get some sleep. She says he came from a place of grief and anger that he couldn’t get past, but he’s not a monster. He’s made her happier than she’s ever been, and makes her boys smile. Every day is an adventure. He tells her it’s been a long day, and he’s tired. She says she loves him and will see him in the morning. She leaves and he goes into Jason’s room.

Franco tells Jason if they’re connected by blood, he needs him to wake up and tell him who he is. Then Franco can figure out who he is, and why he did what he’s done.

Patient 6 moves his hand to his face.

Lulu admits to Dante that Valentin is great with Charlotte. He says she is too; she put Charlotte first. They start getting busy again. He tells her it’s messed up and complicated, but they’re doing all right. Lulu agrees.

Valentin talks to Bailey’s mother again, telling her about how Shriners has helped so many children with scoliosis. She can make an appointment through the app and he’ll go with her, as well as Charlotte. He tells her to try not to worry. With the early diagnosis and treatment, Bailey should be fine.

He tells Nina that he used to worry about Charlotte. Nina says that if she’d had scoliosis, he would have been there for her, the way no one there for him. She wishes she’d known him back then. She would have seen who he really was inside, and would have kissed him back. He says that’s easy to say now. She says who knows what would have gone through her mind, but now she’s in awe of him. He tells her stop it, and she says he’s suffered and been though pain, but look what he’s become. It doesn’t make him less than, but more than, because survived it al. He’s incredible.

Carly and Sonny go to Jason’s room. She says she’s been grieving for him, Sam, and the kids, but not for herself, because the connection never really came back.

Patient 6 removes his glasses, and we see his eyes. Dammit! It’s Steve Burton. I guess this means he’s Nikolas? There go my fifty-seven other theories.

So much for Steve cruising in on a motorcycle, like they showed us in the ads.

Next time, Anna tells Finn to remember it’s for the greater good, Lulu goes to Shriners, and Carly asks if Michael doesn’t want proof of Nelle’s innocence.

🚑 If you would like to make a donation to Shriners Hospitals, call 800-617-5700 or go to loveshriners.org

If Loving You is Wrong

I can’t wait to see what that lunatic Randal will come up with this season.

When we last left, Eddie was surrounded, and Kelly was getting arrested.

A shot is fired inside Kelly’s house. The kids come running out of the bedroom, and one of them says that Justice had a gun. Esperanza asks Kelly why she has a loaded gun in her house. Natalie tells her to calm down; everything is all right. Kelly tells Justice to never touch a gun; he could have killed someone. Esperanza won’t shut up, and Justice asks why his mom has handcuffs on. Kelly says there’s been a misunderstanding. She’ll be home soon and explain. She tells him to go with Natalie. The kids start getting upset, and Kelly is taken back outside. As she’s taken to the patrol car, Justice wants to know what’s going on. Kelly tells Natalie to call Lushion. Natalie tries, but gets voicemail.

Brad and Alex are making out like bandits, when their kids interrupt. Paisley says she’s scared. When Alex asks why, she says the gun, and Peter asks if they didn’t hear it. He tells them that Justice was showing them Kelly’s gun, and it went off. Esperanza wanders in, and Brad wonders what Kelly was thinking. Esperanza says she isn’t. Brad says he’ll talk to her, and Paisley says the police took her away. Esperanza says it’s more complicated than that, and Alex tells the kids to go upstairs.

Brad asks what happened. Esperanza says she had no idea there was a gun in the house. Alex is like, they arrested her for that? Esperanza says she was arrested for Ramsay’s murder, but it’s a misunderstanding. Brad asks if she’s sure. Esperanza says they’re talking about Kelly, but he says she didn’t know Kelly had a gun either. Brad asks if she was actually arrested, but Esperanza doesn’t know. Brad says that Kelly shouldn’t say a word. Esperanza says she didn’t do anything. Brad says he didn’t either, and was kept there for hours. He thinks Kelly should get an attorney asap.

Marcie goes to see old friend Larry. He tells her to fill him in on Randal. She says that they’re getting a divorce. Larry asks if it’s that bad, and she says it is. He thought when she’d said they were having troubles, it meant therapy, but she says they’re beyond that. He thought they would be together forever, and she tells him that he was wrong. Larry asks if she wants him to talk to Randal. She says she wants him to represent her in the divorce; Randal won’t even sign the papers. Since they were roommates in college, she thinks Randal will respect him. He suggests giving Randal a call, and seeing where his head is at. Marcie thinks that’s a good idea. Larry’s not saying he’ll represent her, but he’ll talk to Randal. He asks what happened. She says besides him cheating with a neighbor and getting her pregnant? Larry is sorry. She says don’t be; just get him to sign.

Larry introduces her to one of his partners, Ian. Ian says he’ll come back, but Marcie says she was just leaving. Ian gives Larry some files. This sounds unimportant, but I’m pretty sure we’ll be seeing Ian in the future.

In the interrogation room, Eddie says he ain’t saying sh*t. He asks the FBI officers who brought him in what they think they have, and they walk out. Steve comes in along with Lushion. Lushion says they’re the only help Eddie has. Eddie asks how such low-level PD officers got let in there. He says they’re FBI, and now they think they’ve got him. Lushion says they know they got him. Eddie asks about them all showing up at Rusty’s place, and Lushion says they were asked to be there. Eddie tells Lushion he’ll never be above him, but Lushion says he’ll walk out a free man. Eddie says that Lushion doesn’t know what he’s talking about, and Lushion says they have murder and attempted murder. Eddie says he’s an FBI agent who doesn’t have the balls to man up to it. Lushion asks where Andrew is, and Eddie pretends he doesn’t know Andrew. Steve says he should make it easier on himself. Eddie tells him to ask dead Rusty. Steve says he’s asking him. Lushion rushes Eddie, and Steve pulls him off. Eddie talks about himself in the third person, saying, Eddie don’t do time. Steve says they know that Eddie, the captain, and a few of the other officers are crooked. Eddie says the two of them are FBI, because he can’t think of anything else to say. Lushion tells Eddie that they have him on a silver platter. Eddie says he’ll be out of here later, and getting a hot piece of ass. I refrain from dropping the soap jokes. They leave, and he tells them to get out. In that order.

Steve tells Lushion that he can’t be grabbing Eddie like that; they have to keep it clean. They have him, and there’s nothing else they can do. Lushion asks if Steve is sure they covered all the bases; Eddie seems too arrogant. Steve says he’s Eddie. Lushion thinks he’s too calm and cool, and up to something. Steve lists all of Eddie’s transgressions, and says they have him. Lushion says that it doesn’t feel right; he has something up his sleeve. Steve says that Eddie is done. Lushion says, book ‘em, Steve-O. Eddie watches through the blinds, and Lushion says he’s up to something.

Lushion’s phone rings. Natalie needs to talk. He asks what’s going on, and she says a lot. Kelly was arrested for Ramsay’s murder. He says he’ll look into it; what else? Natalie thinks she’s in trouble. Kelly bought a gun. He asks what that has to do with her, and she says it was in the house. Justice found it, and everyone is all right, but it went off. Lushion asks why Kelly had a gun, and Natalie says because of Travis. He wonders why she didn’t get some lessons in safety, but Natalie says she doesn’t think it was that easy. She didn’t go to a gun shop. Lushion asks what she’s saying, and Natalie tells him that she told Kelly to buy it and where to get it; her girl hooked Kelly up. Natalie claims that she thought they were legal. Lushion says there’s nothing legal about her. Natalie asks if she can get in trouble, and Lushion says she can, and don’t send anyone else to that crazy girl. He asks where the gun is, and she tells him that Dion took it to the station. Lushion is like, great, just great, and says he’ll take care of it.

Randal installs a camera pointed at Brad and Alex’s house. His phone rings. It’s Larry. Randal says sometimes he thinks Larry avoids him, but Larry says he’s just been busy. He asks how Randal’s wife is, and Randal says that’s a long discussion. Larry suggests having drinks, and Randal asks if he’s buying, since he’s making all the money. Isn’t Randal a psychiatrist? Not that we’ve ever seen him go to work. They make plans to meet the next day. Larry tells Randal get a driver; they have a lot of catching up to do.

The mail truck pulls up. Randal motions the mailman over. He says hasn’t seen him around, but the mailman says he’s been working the same territory for years, and has even put mail in Randal’s hands. Randal says, so, you’re the mailman? and the mailman says, no, I just like wearing the uniform. Ha-ha! Randal asks if he knows Alex, and the mailman says she’s a nice lady who gives him cookies on holidays. Randal starts asking if the cookies are good, and saying she gives them out to too many Black men. The mailman asks if they’re talking about pastries. Randal asks how well he knows her, and he says he just delivers the mail. Randal asks how old he is, and if he thinks Alex is hot. The mailman says that he doesn’t know her any better than he knows Randal, she’s never invited him in, and he has mail to deliver. Randal asks if she’s ever offered him sex, and the mailman says no, he’s happily married. Randal says, aren’t we all? He watches the mailman go down the street. Randal is beyond a hot mess.

Alex asks if Brad is okay. He asks if the baby is asleep. She says yes, and home, thank God. She explains how she had supervised visits prior to an on-sight evaluation. Once the social worker came out and the judge saw her report, she was granted full custody. She says that Brad doesn’t have to ask about him; she knows it’s difficult. Brad says he’s a helpless little kid. She takes his hand, and thanks him for saving the baby. Brad says he had no choice. She tells him that he’s a good man, and she’s a fool. He says she just made a mistake; they all did. Alex says he never hurt her the way she hurt him, but she deserved it. Brad says that she deserved to be loved, and there’s nothing wrong with that. He couldn’t have done a good job, because she went looking elsewhere. She says it had nothing to do with him; it was her own insecurities. He says that doesn’t make it hurt less. Alex knows, and she’s sorry. He asks how she’s been coping, and she says its hard, but she’s managing. She misses him. She starts to cry, saying that she misses him in the morning and at night; she takes a shower and it smells like him. Brad tells her that he loves her. Alex says that she loves him, and asks what they’re doing. He says they’ll work it out. She wonders if it’s okay to get her hopes up about them, and he tells her that it is. They kiss, and he tells her that he loves her again. He has to leave, and hugs her good-by. She tells him the locks are still the same and his keys work. He can come back whenever he wants to. He thanks her.

Randal’s phone rings. I guess it’s some kind of alert he set up, because he pops out and asks how Brad is, and if he’s moving back in with that whore, that slut. He thought Brad would be stronger. Did he know that’s not Randal’s kid? Brad doesn’t even acknowledge him at all. Randal says that he gets it. Brad doesn’t want to talk. Well, he’ll be next door, driving him and that bitch crazy. Number one on the to-do list: move.

Kelly waits in the interrogation room. She calls for someone to tell her what’s going on. Outside in the hall, Lushion asks Dion about Kelly. Dion tells him to talk to the DA. He walks away, and Lushion calls him an a-hole. He goes into the room, and asks if Kelly is okay. She says no. They won’t tell her anything, and she’s been arrested for murder. He says he knows, and she says she doesn’t know why, since she didn’t do it. He says that makes two things he knows. He asks if she has any idea why they’d think she did it, but she has nothing. He tells her that they’d need to have solid evidence to bring her in. She thinks Travis has set her up. Lushion says he doesn’t seem that bright. She says he’s dumb enough to have been able to get away with stalking her.

A woman in an expensive suit walks in. Lushion asks if they can talk outside, but she doesn’t think so. He wants to know what’s going on, and she says he’ll find out soon enough. He says that he knows Kelly, and she asks him to leave. Kelly begs him not to, but the woman says he can’t stay. Kelly asks her what’s happening, and she says Kelly will know as soon as Lushion is gone. She tells him to let Justice know that she’ll see him soon. Lushion leaves, and the woman, who has yet to introduce herself, says she wouldn’t count on it. Kelly says that she didn’t do anything, but the woman says she’s under arrest for Ramsay’s murder. Kelly repeats that she didn’t do anything. The woman says he dialed 911, and she was recorded. She pulls out her phone and plays it. It’s “Ramsay” (I think it’s Travis), saying he’s been stabbed, and no, Kelly, no! Don’t hurt me! Please. Kelly is nowhere on that recording. The woman asks if she needs to hear anymore. Well, I would. I’d also want my lawyer. Was Kelly even read her rights?

Next time, Brad tells Marcie that he’s getting back with Alex, Lushion says Travis did this, and Marcie asks Ian if he could get her off for killing someone.

Below Deck

The captain and Nico try to hunt down Chris, but he’s in his bunk, sleeping like a baby. Captain Lee asks Nico why there’s no response, and he goes to find out. Baker is pissed because they’re under a microscope as it is. Nico finds Chris, and says wtf? He tells him he can’t have nights like that if he can’t stay awake the next day.

Kate wants to train the stews on dinner service. She suggests that she and Captain Lee have dinner on the deck like the guests, so she can be the worst charter guest ever. Nico tells the captain that Chris was sleeping. Kate says how rude. Captain Lee says being dumb and strong is okay for a deckhand, but Chris is just one of those things.

Nico tells Chris that the captain knows he was sleeping, but thinks that his radio was down in the cabin. He says that it’s too early for him to be pulling stuff like this. Kate is hoping the stews heads are empty enough to receive the information she has to impart. She’s giving classes in everything today, from laundry to bartending.

Chris tells Baker that he got a lecture from Nico, but the nap felt fantastic. Kate tests a drink Brianna has made. She thinks the lessons are silly. I don’t. These two weren’t so great at working last charter.

The primary guest is John Eli, who owns some popular restaurants in San Diego and Maui. He’s bringing five guy friends along. They want water sports (not that kind), a multi-course seafood feast including sushi, and a tequila pairing. Kate says that tequila is usually paired with bad decisions and a hangover. They can make that happen.

Kate says that the girls have no experience, and don’t realize how bad a charter can be. We flash back to some real bastards. She says that she’s trying to channel her worst charter guests, so they’ll know what it’s like. She makes Captain Lee laugh when she demands a drink. In her interview, she says it’s like a fire drill, and she’s the fire. I can’t stop laughing watching the captain laugh. He tries to play along.

Next is dinner. Kate screeches for another cocktail. Brianna has to instruct Jen on pouring an ounce, and she’s confused. Brianna thinks by the time she learns, the season will be over. Kate sends the cocktail back for something pinker. She compliments Brianna on clearing well. They bring the girls in for a critique. Captain Lee expects them to learn quickly, and Kate says they did better than expected. From Brianna, she sees a glimmer of hope, but Jen is a glimmer of nope.

Chris tells us he’s doing his best to learn. Nico says it’s going to be a bad day to get off the dock. In his interview, Matt tells us how hard sushi is to make, and that he hates it. The provisions come on board. Kate meets a guy she calls “hot Jesus,” on the dock. The first mate is sick, and they can’t leave the dock without one. Chris flirts with Brianna, asking her to hang out later.

Captain Lee calls for a staff meeting. He says the first officer is sick, and has to leave. He’s working on a replacement, but they can’t move the boat off the dock. Except for Nico, the crew is so green, he’s not comfortable with it. They’re telling the guests it’s a mechanical difficulty, and they’re not to know someone is sick. Kate is happy that she can go meet up with hot Jesus now – Christmas came early.

The guests arrive. Captain Lee tells them that there’s a mechanical problem, so they can’t get off the dock as soon as they’d like, but the minute it’s fixed, they’ll be off. Kate does the tour. She says the group’s vibe is sassy, catty, and it’s going to be a long 48 hours. She tells us it’s not a great sign that Matt is looking at a cookbook, and worse, not embarrassed about it. She’s a little nervous.

Nico asks the guests if they want to use the jet skis and sea bobs. Those must be those things that make you go up in the air. A couple of them use the tender. Jesus (whose real name is Morton) and Kate text. Lunch looks amazing, a rare tenderloin stir-fry. Matt says Jen is on the slow side, but gets stuff done. First mate Nick arrives. For dessert, the guests want tequila shots. One of them questions no one having tested the boat before charter. At this point, Matt hates sushi even more.

Kate asks Bruno how he feels about being the sushi platter. Yuk! She says he’s proud of his body, so they might as well put it to use. He’s in. Kate tells Matt not to go crazy with plating. Nico says he could have done naked sushi, while showing us his dad bod. The guests laugh like hyenas, and do rude things with the tongs. Chris says he would have done it; he likes making money. Wow. One of the guests is so drunk, he doesn’t know the names of the silverware pieces. And I don’t mean anything fancy. He confuses the knife with chopsticks. Kate thinks Jesus is a sign from God. A guest breaks a glass in the galley while asking for another drink. The guests all begin to get obnoxious and start to wander around.

A couple of them harass Jen in the galley. One asks where Kate is, and Jen doesn’t know. She talks to Chris about how they’re not supposed to leave the boat. Chris tells her to keep prodding. In her interview, Jen wants to throw Kate under the bus. The guests finally go to bed at 1 am, although all that seemed like forever. I’m sure it felt like forever to the crew. Kate slips back in after her tryst with Jesus/Morton.

Matt tells Brianna that she’s wonderful. He thinks they have chemistry. Nico says they’re getting off the dock. He gives instructions to the deckhands. Lots of hangovers at breakfast. That wonderful breakfast. It’s time to get the little boat into the water. Captain Lee flashes back to the last time, which he calls a clusterf*ck. Matt works on the tequila pairing. One of the guests isn’t cool with eggplant parmesan, but says nothing.

Jen asks what, or who, Kate did last night. In her interview, she says it’s unprofessional and Kate should be setting an example. I choke on my coffee. One of the guests whines to Matt, asking if eggplant parmesan will “really go good” with tequila. Matt thinks the tomato sauce works. I hate tequila, so this is meaningless to me. Brianna suggests paella, and Matt decides on red snapper with Spanish rice. The guests feel better about that.

The captain says that Chris sis still lost, although he sees improvement with Bruno. The slide is brought out, and the guests do some diving and sliding. Since Chris knows his booze, Matt consults with him on which tequilas to use. Kate radios for Jen, who deliberately ignores her. Even though there are guests standing in the galley doorway, Jen calls Kate a bitch. Kate tells Jen she sucks at her job, but she’s hilarious. In her interview, Kate says the more Jen raises the bar with her attitude, the more she’s going to remind her that she shouldn’t.

The pairing is on, and the guests are loving it. Thankfully, they turn in early. Jen tells Chris about what Kate said.

The last day begins, and Chris tells Nico that he’s getting drunk tonight. Nico says if he’s napping tomorrow, pack his bags too. For the last breakfast, fancy Eggs Benedict – my favorite! The Valor docks without incident. Captain Lee tells everyone to get their asses out on deck. Nico thinks being stuck at the dock will affect the tip, but Bruno was the saving grace, which is pretty much what the primary says. All-in-all though, they were happy. The guests leave, the crew does some cleaning, and it’s tip time.

The captain says he sees improvement in a short period of time, but some still aren’t getting it. They were a man down, and couldn’t leave, which was pathetic. He tells them to be ready to work at 8 am tomorrow. If anyone decides their time is better spent napping, they can pack their bags. The tip is $17K; $1645 each. That’s pretty good.

Time to go out. In her interview, Jen says it’s an adjustment to be at the bottom of the ladder again, so she’s ready to have some fun. She claims to have been a supervisor at her previous job, and I’m wondering who let her supervise anything. Brianna falls on the way to the bar. I’m not sure what this means for the rest of the evening, since the night is young. Nico says Bruno deserves a good night out. Chris watches Brianna dance, and says she’s got the moves. Matt says Jen likes to drink, and yes, she does. Here comes Jesus. Kate says hallelujah! He’s no Brody (Too Close to Home), but he’s okay. Chris dances with Brianna. Did he just wipe his hand on her knee? Chris thinks he has a shot with her, if he continues making his intensions clear. I’m not so sure about that. Jen calls for Kate from the bathroom. Kate says she doesn’t mind training Jen, but nobody comes between her and Jesus.

Next time, a charter of eight women, Matt asks Brianna out, the Valor hits the dock, and Captain Lee promises there will be a change in the configuration.

📣 Watch What Happens Live had an interesting pairing tonight with Jax and Captain Lee. One does nothing but bullsh*t, and the other can’t stand bullsh*t. I’ll have more to say about Jax at a later date. I like him less and less as time goes on.

They never dress like this on the show…