What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

 

 

General Hospital

Nathan and Maxie are doing a home photo shoot. Maxie reminds the photographer that the article is about her. He wonders who the person is who hasn’t smiled since he got there. Maxie tells him it’s her assistant and she’s thrilled to be there. Amy says, she’s thrilled.

Monica asks Finn if he can stay later. A John Doe was brought in with an opioid overdose and also has a serious infection.

Valentin tells Anna that he’s past needing to prove himself to her. Anna says even though he’s clean, it obviously struck a nerve. He says he looks at the world through the eyes of a father now, and doesn’t want the drugs in his community. Anna says he should tell Cassandra that he’s taking her up on her offer, and he can be a spy for her. He says, no way in hell.

Nina and Charlotte have ice cream at the MetroCourt after seeing Disney on Ice. Charlotte asks if she could be figure skater, and Nina says she can be anything she wants. She had thought Charlotte wanted to be a vet, but she wants to be both. Nina tells her she wanted to be a ballerina and on an equestrian tea when she was younger. Charlotte asks if she did, and Nina says definitely not, but her life turned out better than she imagined, now that she has someone like Charlotte in it. She tells Charlotte that she loves her, and Charlotte says she loves Nina too. Charlotte thanks her, and says she’s wonderful. Nina says she wasn’t trying to be; she just wanted Charlotte to have fun. Charlotte says that’s what makes her wonderful.

Cassandra and her companion enter the restaurant. Cassandra wants something exotic, like a strawberry daiquiri. Her companion says she’s allergic, but she tells him Finn told her that she’s not, so she’s going for it. She sees Nina and Charlotte. She calls them the apples of Valentin’s eye, and thinks she needs to take it up a notch.

Alexis goes to Pentenville to visit Julian, who doesn’t look very beat up, but is sporting a fresh haircut. He asks why she’s there, and she asks why this happened to him.

Finn looks at John Doe’s chart and says he’s close to respiratory failure, and must have been ignoring his condition. Monica tells him to find the right protocol.

Cassandra pretends to trip over a shoe-box with skates near Charlotte’s chair. She asks if Charlotte is taking skating lessons, but Charlotte says she’s not supposed to talk to strangers. Cassandra says she’s obviously been raised right, and is sorry for interrupting. Charlotte tells her that she took skating last winter, but she’s taking ballet now. Cassandra suggests she take skating as well; it will improve her ballet skills and vice versa. She tells Charlotte that she did, sometimes having both lessons in the same day. She says she even competed, but it was nothing professional; she wasn’t very good. Nina asks her to join them, and Cassandra says she’d like to, since her dinner companion hasn’t arrived. Her real companion takes photos with his phone from across the room.

Julian tells Alexis it was nothing and he’s fine. She says he’s obviously not fine, and asks if he was targeted. He surprised to see her, and thinks Scotty must have told her about it. He says they both agreed he belonged in there. She asks if he started it, or was provoked or ambushed, and he tells her to let it go. He didn’t start a fight, not the way she means, but they both know enough about the criminal justice system to know bad things happen. She asks if he can’t buy protection, and he says sometimes that works, but it doesn’t mean he won’t be a target. She asks if another crime family is after him, and doesn’t think he’s telling the whole story.

The photographer finishes the shoot, saying Nina will love it and he’ll send the proofs tonight. When he’s gone, Amy says she didn’t need to be there. She’s supposed to write the article, not watch Maxie pose. She has to get to work, and could have used more notice. Maxie asks if she means like the notice Maxie was given when they decided to go behind her back. Amy tells her not much subterfuge was needed, since she was living on the other side of the country. She says they can still be exposed. Maxie tells her that Nina demanded an exclusive, and this is as exclusive as it gets. When the readers see how blissfully happy she and Nathan are, they’ll stop trolling her on Twitter. Amy says she’s sorry Maxie is having a hard time, and that she thought Nathan was cheating, but she can’t reach her brother. She could have been making calls instead of watching Maxie put on stupid sexy outfit after stupid sexy outfit. Maxie says she can write it, and Amy can leave. Nathan tells Maxie to take this with love, but Amy isn’t going anywhere.

Cassandra talks about her first double-axel. She says it was in a local competition, but she felt like she was in the Olympics. Alas, a knee injury ended her career. She encourages Charlotte again to take both skating and ballet, saying both skills will improve. She tells Charlotte that if she masters the basics, she can do anything. Charlotte says that’s what her papa tells her. Cassandra says a man after her own heart, and asks where he is tonight.

Valentin tells Anna that she doesn’t know what Cassandra is capable of. Anna says the WSB has extensive intel on her. Valentin says she’s become a recluse, and also a hypochondriac, but has mostly eliminated those who have gone against her. Anna says she hasn’t eliminated him, whether it’s because he’s too formidable or she wants him for something, and he’s in a perfect position to gain access to her. Valentin says if she becomes motivated to act, she also becomes very dangerous.

Julian tells Alexis that he’s stopped trying to get her to trust or love him. In the past, he badly betrayed her trust, and he wants to make it right, but he doesn’t want her here. He thinks it’s probably part of Scotty’s stupid plan. He doesn’t concern her anymore, but wonders if there’s another reason she’s there. Alexis tells him there’s been a development that he has a right to know, and she might as well be the one to tell him.

Maxie types, and Amy laughs at what she’s writing. She says Maxie is giving too much background; that’s why she’s here. Nathan says that too many details could trip them up later. Amy says it might prompt too many fan questions, and Mac is one of Man Landers’s biggest fans. Maxie says Amy barely said anything, and she’s just writing answers to the questions fans want to know, like what to give when flowers aren’t enough? Amy says they don’t really ask things like that, and comes up with something else, conferring with Nathan. Maxie says enough; stop right now. She asks whose article is this anyway?

Alexis asks if Julian has had access to newspapers or the internet in the past week, but he says he’s been in the infirmary. She says that Jason bought Derek Wells Media. Julian thought it would be a good way to cut ties, but realizes it looks like a mobster transfer of power. Jason assured him he has nothing to do with the mob, and he’s just setting something up for Sam and his children. Alexis says Sam’s husband might not be Jason after all.

Finn says doctor stuff, and tells Monica they should see the results soon. He wants to monitor the patient. She says a nurse can call him if there are any changes. He says that she knows about his own struggle, and he didn’t even connect the dots between himself and the opioid epidemic. He says there’s an artificial wall between doctors and patients, and he was reminded why he went to medical school in the first place. It’s all related.

Nina tells Cassandra that her husband has lot meetings, sarcastically adding that she’s sure he’s heartbroken about missing the ice show. Cassandra says he missed the opportunity to spend time with Charlotte, but Nina says don’t worry they’ll tell him all about Disney on Ice. Cassandra thinks he’ll remember the remember conversation for a long time.

Anna says Valentin is a lot of things, some of which she despises, but she never took him for a coward. He says never trouble trouble until trouble troubles you. He believes in letting sleeping dogs lie when family is involved. I never took him for a dude who spouts clichés. Anna says his family can be safeguarded. He tells her she’s not hearing him. He’s not going to help, and if she doesn’t back off, he’ll blow her investigation.

Nathan tells Maxie it’s not her article, but she says the fans want to know about Man Landers and his wife. He says Nina will love it, and shows her some pictures the photographer sent. Amy says that’s it; ten questions, and she has time to call Chet on the way to her real job. Maxie says he’s the reason they’re keeping the secret, so if it’s about anyone, it’s her brother. Nathan thanks her, and Amy leaves. He says it’s done, and Maxie will look so gorgeous, he’ll have to fight the guys off. He goes to take a shower, and Maxie looks at what Amy wrote. She’s like, no, this won’t do, and says she needs to punch it up a little.

Julian asks Alexis how that’s possible. She says that’s what they’re trying to figure out, and she has no idea. He asks if Sam is okay, and she says, physically, yes. Real Jason saved her from drowning. Julian asks how Sam is able to wrap her head around any of it, and how is she coping after finding out the man who’s her husband could be someone else? Alexis doesn’t want to talk about Sam, thinking she wouldn’t appreciate it. She says if Sam’s husband isn’t Jason, he’ll have to sort out the legality regarding the company. She tells him be careful in there.

Cassandra says she’s taken up enough time; maybe they could all go skating this winter. She suggests they take a selfie before she leaves. She takes the photo, and they exchange numbers. She says they should have lunch some time. Charlotte tells her that she liked her stories, and Cassandra thanks her for the conversation. She’s glad they crossed paths, and thinks they’re going to be good friends.

Valentin tells Anna the conversation is over She says this has to be stopped, and he says it won’t be if Cassandra covers her tracks. She’ll be gone like the wind, and go underground. If he tells her about the investigation, they’ll have nothing, and never see her again. Anna says the drugs have killed more people than HIV at the height of the epidemic. Valentin wants Anna to bring Cassandra down, but not implicate him. If she does, she’ll have nothing.

Nathan asks Maxie why she didn’t join him, and she says she was busy. He asks if she’s still mad, and she says no, everything is perfect – now. She used her professional judgement to tweak what Amy wrote. He looks at it, and says she basically put back her made-up story about how she discovered Man Landers. Maxie says it was dry, and needed a personal aspect. He says it’s supposed to be a puff piece, and she says it is – a look inside the life of Man Landers. Nathan says it would be if he was Man Landers. The fewer details, the better. Maxie wants to know why he keeps defending Amy. He says he’s not; that’s how he feels. She tells him it’s duly noted, but what she wrote is what’s going to press.

Monica asks Finn if there’s any news, but he says they need to know who he is, and his medical history. Monica says he’s obviously had several surgeries, and she thinks he’s a veteran. Finn says the guy has been through hell, and Monica says so has Finn, but he still functions even with his battle. She doesn’t think John Doe would have lived If Finn hadn’t stayed. He says that’s his job, but she says he needs relaxation too. Finn says he just had time off, but she says it didn’t sound like much of a vacation. He says it wasn’t really.

Cassandra says she’ll be in touch. Nina and Charlotte leave, and Cassandra asks her companion if he got what she wanted. He tells her that he got lots of photos, and thinks the selfie was genius. She tells him she thought about the value of Valentin discovering them together, but given his territorial behavior and temper, it’s a good thing they just left. She says she just texted him, and voila! here he is.

Valentin tells her that he’s not staying, and asks why she wanted to meet. She says she has a lovely surprise to share. He asks why would he care? She tells him that she met his wife and daughter, and shows him the pictures. She says they’re both delights, and they hit it off, but she wonders about Charlotte. Nina is a terrific stepmother, and Charlotte adores both her and her papa. Valentin asks what the point is, and Cassandra says she was wondering how Charlotte would feel about her papa if she discovered what he did with and to Claudette.

Julian hangs up the phone. On his way out, a big dude pushes him out of the way. Julian and Alexis look at each other.

Nathan tells Maxie to use Amy’s draft; it’s what Nina wanted. Maxie accuses him of stopping her from putting herself in, and he says it’s not for the reason she thinks. There’s still a chance this could blow up in their faces. They committed fraud, and she’d be committing it too. She loves that he’s trying to protect her, but says no one reads articles in Crimson; they just look at the fashion. She just sent it to the publishing team. Their fate is sealed.

At the hospital, Deanna tells Amy that Finn wants to know if there are any changes at any time with John Doe. Amy takes his chart, and goes into the room. She says, omg, Chet. It’s her brother. Why I didn’t put two and two together right away with this one, I’ll never know. I’m slipping.

Monica says it’s been a long night; she’s heading out. Finn wants to see if John Doe’s numbers improve. Monica says the synthetic opioids snuck up on them. They’re cheap and deadly, and they have to find a way to cut off the supply. Finn would like to see it happen too.

On the phone, Anna says the case isn’t working out, and she has to rethink the priorities for the WSB, and her too. She doesn’t give up. One way or other, she’ll get Cassandra.

Cassandra tell Valentin that his wife is delightful, and his child is scrumptious. She understands why he loves them, and thinks they’re a good influence on him. She can’t imagine what would happen were he to lose them – for whatever reason. She says, so, about her operation… Valentin says he’s in’

Alexis bangs on the window. The guard takes Julian, and the thug looks at Alexis.

Tomorrow, Valentin tells Anna that he’ll help her, Michael says it’s over with Nelle, and Sonny asks Klein who gave him the order.

If Loving You is Wrong

When we last left, Eddie busted in while Esperanza and Steven were getting busy.

Eddie attacks Steven, and they fight. Esperanza yells for them to stop. Lushion comes in, and breaks it up. He tells Eddie to calm down and asks what’s going on. Can’t he tell? He tells Eddie to get out. Eddie says, me and you, to Steven, and leaves. Lushion asks what’s going on, and where are Steven’s clothes?

Steven says, sorry, and Esperanza tells him to get out; the both of them, out now. Steven and Lushion leave, with Steven half-dressed. Lushion asks if he’s crazy. Steven says he was fixing the wall, spilled paint on himself, and Esperanza offered to wash his clothes. It just happened. Lushion tells him to get in the car.

Ian calls Marcie at work; he wants to talk about the house. He asks a question about the vents, and she says she’ll call the realtor. He wants to see the house again, and asks if they can meet later; he has to meet a client across the street. She asks who, but he’s not at liberty to say. She tries to get information, but he tells her not to do this to him. She asks if it’s Randal, and he says, who? She tells him that Randal is her ex. He asks if Randal knows Larry, and she says they were college roommates. Ian says he wouldn’t represent that guy for anything. He hopes the divorce is over with soon.

Brad pours some wine for him and Alex. The baby is having a nap, so it must be wine o’clock. Brad asks what the doctor said, and Alex says the baby is doing well, but he meant the DNA test. Alex tells him the doctor switched it. He says she rewound their lives. He can’t believe it, and Alex says she was shocked. Brad tells her that they won’t have to deal with Randal until the baby gets older. Alex tells him they’ll cross that bridge when they come to it, but for now, they’re good. Alex is glad Brad is back, and he’s glad to be home. Could we please name this baby? Please? We see that the camera light is blinking. Uh-oh. Even though Brad tore it down, wouldn’t there still be a companion piece inside Randal’s house?

Here’s what I’m thinking. Obviously, the doctor didn’t switch the tests, but obviously the baby is Black. If Alex isn’t lying about being with anyone else, that means somewhere along the line there are Black relatives. It would make sense if they were on her side, since her parents were so radically racist. Maybe Rusty wasn’t her real father?

Natalie tells Kelly the house looks good; Kelly says it looks better. She thanks Natalie for everything, even helping her with the gun. Natalie says they need to talk about that. Kelly says she’s getting rid of it, but the police have it right now. She can’t believe Justice touched it. She wants to punish him, but he’s going through so much. Travis is messing with her child, and she can’t let him do that. Natalie says it’s getting out of hand, and Kelly says she just wants to go on with her life, but he won’t let her. She’s tried everything, and can’t keep dealing with this.

There’s a knock at the door. It’s Ian. Kelly asks if the police took the gun, and he says they did. Natalie and Kelly are relieved. Natalie asks if it had a serial number. Out of Ian’s earshot, Kelly asks Natalie if that girl sold her an illegal gun, but Natalie says no, she was just asking.

Outside, Natalie calls Lushion. She tells him the police took Kelly’s gun. She asks if it having a serial number means it’s legit. He says it could have been stolen, and she asks him to find out. He chastises Natalie for steering Kelly that way in the first place. She asks him to just find out about the number.

Natalie visits Alex and Brad. She wants to talk to Alex, but Brad needs to hear this too. She asks if it’s Lushion’s baby, and if Alex is sure. Alex says she’s never had anything going on with Lushion. Natalie wonders where it’s coming from then. Alex says she’s sorry, but she was in a bind. All she said was that Randal wasn’t the father, and Natalie asks why Lushion is involved. Alex says it was Randal’s idea. Natalie wonders why the test didn’t match Randal’s, and Brad says a doctor friend helped them out. Natalie seems to accept that, and he says he believes Alex. Natalie thanks them.

When she’s gone, Alex asks if Brad thought that was a good idea. What if she tells someone? He says it’s not good either way. He says she hates Randal as much as they do. Alex says if she flies off the handle, she might open her mouth. Brad doesn’t think so, and Alex hopes he’s right.

Ian tells Kelly they’ve been watching Travis, and all he ever does is go to church and back home, and spends time with his fiancé. She says he has time to harass her with hang-up calls. Ian suggests they get the phone records and texts. He asks if she’s positive Justice had nothing to do with it, and she’s surprised he’s even asking. He says he can talk to the DA and see if Travis will come in. Kelly is shocked they have to play nice with him, and Ian tells her to be patient. They’ll get him. She asks when she can get her gun back, but he says it’s in evidence. She tells him she needs protection. He says he’ll see what he can do, but tells her to start learning how to use it and get a safe.

Marcie pulls up just as Ian is getting to the house. The vents are acceptable. She says the owners will cover the closing costs if he moves up the date. He says as long as the inspections are good, he’s fine with that. She knows the company, and says she’ll have them put a rush on it. She goes back outside while he looks around again. Randal pulls up. Marcie starts laughing, and he says they’ll see who’s laughing soon. She thinks she’s slick, and thinks Larry will be on her side. She tells Randal to sign the papers. He tells her no, and she says she gave him everything, just let her out. He says no, and she calls him an ass. Ian comes out, and asks if she’s okay. Randal asks if Ian is screwing his wife. Ian wants Marcie to look at the kitchen, and Randal suggests she show him the bedroom too.

Marcie apologizes, and Ian asks if she’s sure she’s okay. She says she’s used to it. He asks if Larry is repping her, and what he’s doing to get it over with. She says he’s working on it, but Ian doesn’t like it. She doesn’t want to talk about it, and asks if he saw what he wanted to with the house. He’s good, and says no second thoughts. He tells her to take him to dinner to celebrate. She says as long as he’s paying. He tells her she’s making the commission, but she says he’s a gentleman. He says so he’s been told, and agrees.

Randal arrives at the bar, and sees Larry talking to a couple. Randal tells them not to believe anything he says, and he and Larry move to another table. Larry didn’t think he was coming, and Randal says he almost didn’t. Larry asks why he decided to come, and Randal says because Larry is buying; he owes him from last time. Randal orders the most expensive cognac. He asks if Larry is representing Marcie. Larry says he’s friends with both of them. Randal says Larry knows him better, and Marcie doesn’t know much about Larry. He thinks Larry wants to determine how angry he is, but Larry says he invited him out because they’re friends. Randal tells Larry that he can see right through him, and Larry’s secret is safe with him. He asks why Larry agreed to rep Marcie when Randal has this on him. Larry says he was looking out for the both of them. Randal says she knows nothing about their past, and Larry asks if he’s sure.

Larry wants to be sure Marcie isn’t playing him. He thought it was strange that she came to him. Randal says she’s broke; she had to come to him. He asks if he can go now, but Larry wants to catch up. He says his wife and kids are out of town, and it’s hard being alone. Randal is like, what? and he says, sorry. Randal mentions the bitch next door, and Larry says Marcie told him he had an affair with a neighbor and there’s a baby. Randal asks if Marcie told him about her sleeping with the neighbor’s husband, and them moving in together. He says the best part is the kid isn’t even his. Larry’s mind is blown. Randal says every time he sees a Black man in the neighborhood, he asks if they know her. Larry says a married woman who lied to her husband, then lied to him, and he’s upset? It doesn’t make sense. Randal says he didn’t know she’d been with another Black man. Larry says he can’t go around asking all of them if they know her. Randal starts laughing, and says he set up a camera, and every time someone comes to her door, he gets an alert. Larry says it’s unhealthy, and Randal says he knows. He thinks Randal should reevaluate the situation. Randal says Larry is judging him, but Larry says he’s just worried. He tells Larry to shut his ass up, and orders another drink. Larry says he’s driving, and Randal says he is too. He says he wants to sue Brad’s ass after he knocked him off the ladder. Larry says that’s easy stuff. He suggests they buy drinks for the couple he was talking with. They sit with them, and Larry introduces Randal. Weird.

Esperanza goes to Natalie’s house. Natalie asks what’s wrong. Esperanza doesn’t know what she’s going to do with Eddie. He just tore her house apart while he was fighting with Steven. She says Steven was helping her fix some bullet holes. Natalie is like, what? Esperanza explains how she shot at Eddie to get him out of the house. Of course he came back, and saw her and Steven having amazing sex. She doesn’t know how it happened. Natalie only focuses on the word amazing. Esperanza says Steven’s body is insane, he was there, and it’s been a long time. Natalie pours some wine. She keeps laughing, and Esperanza says it’s not that funny. Natalie asks if she likes him. Esperanza says she was angry with Eddie and he was there at the right time. He’s been flirting with her for months, and she’s been ignoring him. Natalie says she created a monster with Eddie. She asks what Steven says, and Esperanza tells her that she has to call him; she took advantage of him. Natalie says she doubts Steven feels that way. She asks if he was better than Eddie, and Esperanza says, much.

Lushion comes home, and Esperanza jets. Natalie wonders why Esperanza left when she saw Lushion. She says she knows about Esperanza and Steven, but Lushion says that’s not important right now. He needs to talk to Kelly. The gun was reported stolen two months ago, and this is going to be bad for her. It was reported stolen from Ramsay.

Next time, Lushion says the DA will be all over this, Steven checks on Esperanza, and Brad tells Eddie that he doesn’t understand love. One more episode before the season finale.

Below Deck

EJ says he doesn’t want the deck getting dirty from feet. He tells us one drunk Nico is bad, and now he has two – Nico and his brother. He says he needs to be the bigger person. In his interview, Nico calls him a d*ck, saying he’s holding back because EJ is his boss, but he still thinks he should be bosun. Brother Josh jets. EJ is at his wits end.

Kate goes over the supplies. EJ meets with the captain, who’s concerned about the weather. The worst thing you can have happen is not being able to get off the dock. EJ says he’s enjoyed working for him, and is appreciative to be here. He thinks there’s been an improvement, but his boat is arriving soon. He can only stay through the next charter. Captain Lee isn’t too sure Nico is up for the job, but he has to work with the cards he’s been dealt.

Time for the preference sheet meeting. Jason, the primary, is the CEO of a media company that works with outdoor advertising. His wife and some good friends are coming along. One of the friends is Eden Alpert, daughter of jazz musician Herb Alpert, and also a restaurant owner. They’re open to anything, and not picky, but want to be impressed. Jason is having a birthday, so a dinner is required, and they also want an 80s theme party. Kate asks about the weather, but the captain doesn’t know yet. They need a definite plan B.

Kate tells Jen the crew notices, and resents it, if she sneaks breaks. In her interview, Jen says the cleaning and laundry never ends; it’s a vicious cycle. Wait until she owns a house. The crew readies the boat. The captain confirms they’re not leaving the dock, and won’t be leaving anytime soon. Because of the wind and waves, they can’t use the water toys or tender either.

Nico calls for help out on the tender. He needs to go to the hospital now. Baker tells the captain that Nico hurt his arm. Nico says he hit his elbow, and now can’t move his fingers. The captain thinks it’s nerve damage. He tells us just when think it couldn’t get worse. He’s down a man, is losing a bosun, and the weather is a sh*t sandwich. Kate asks what’s going on, and Captain Lee says he sent Nico to the hospital to get checked out. EJ gives Baker some tasks, feeling awkward because he likes her and he’s her boss.

Nico comes back wearing a sling; he pinched a nerve. He tells the captain, and Captain Lee says he’s as useful as a one-legged man in an ass kicking contest. This reminds me of the time my sister worked as an insurance adjuster. They were swamped at the office, and a co-worker asked how she was doing. She said she was “as busy as a one-armed paperhanger,” and turned around to see it was a co-worker who only had one arm. He told her he was as busy as a one-armed insurance agent. BA-DUM-CHH! Captain Lee tells Nico to start his meds and get better.

The guests arrive. EJ wonders if Nico will make it through the charter. The captain does his welcome spiel, and says the wind is a problem, and due to safety issues, they can’t leave yet. He points out Nico’s sling, and says that was a direct result. In her interview, Kate says this means the interior will be doing all the work, while the deckhands relax. The guests immediately start complaining that it sucks, and one asks if they’ll be stuck tomorrow too. Captain Lee doesn’t know, and Kate gives the tour. Jason says it’s not the worst place to be stuck. It would be fine with me. I’d eat, drink, and be merry. Rinse and repeat.

Guest Charlie, who started the bitchfest, says they could have gotten hotel rooms and saved a load of money. Eden wants to see kitchen, and tells Matt to watch out, reminding him that she’s a restaurant owner. Grumpy Charlie asks if they can go out on deck, but mellows when he runs into Bruno. He tells Bruno that he has beautiful eyes and makes small talk. Kate says it’s a challenge, and Bruno tells her they’re complaining already. If they need anything, just communicate. In her interview, Kate thinks Bruno is confused, but if he wants to be a stew, he can start cleaning toilets.

Matt says it’s massive amount of pressure on the crew when they can’t get off the dock. They have to make the guests forget about being there. Kate says it’s hard to tell if the guests are nice or fake nice, since they’re from Los Angeles. EJ tells them that they can use the jet skis and hoverboards, and there are beaches around if they want to go. Bruno thinks the stews don’t have pride in what they’re doing, and he’ll show them how to do their job. Kate says he should think about going to the interior side.

The guests use the jet skis, and a picnic is prepared on the beach. Honestly, this would be a great vacation for me. Although I’d be happy with the hotel on the boardwalk here too. Kate wonders what’s taking so long, because no one said anything about a beach picnic; the deckhands just did it. Jen welcomes the guests back with drinks. Kate says guests always want the crew involved with theme parties, and if you have to wear a mustache or an afro, that’s what you do.

Jen tells Kate that Bruno is being bitchy, but Kate tells her to let him shine. The guests all dress up, but this looks more 60s to me. Pop Rocks are passed out, and an alternative use is suggested. I’m sure you can google it. It’s fish for dinner, and Eden whines about having fish more than once in one day. Kate says if she’d like something else, they can accommodate her, but she pouts and says she’s done with food anyway. Kate tells Matt enough fish. In his interview, he says unless it’s specific on the preference sheet, they should relax. He asks if he should make something else, and Kate says they’re happy with themselves and life, and don’t need more food right now.

Bri periodically checks on Nico. The guests eat something off of sticks, and do shots. They don’t fall out that late though, about 1:30. Geez, I stay up later on karaoke night. The captain visits Nico, and tells him nerves regenerate quickly. He sees Bri bringing Nico a dinner tray, and says he’ll smack his elbow to get treated like this.

Captain Lee asks if any guests want to tag along on a weather check. In his interview, he says he’s never spent an entire charter on deck. The charter guests always think they’re lying, so he wants to give them the ride of life. Two guys join him, and it’s pretty rough. The captain asks if they’ve seen enough, and they tell him yes; the jokes on them. In his interview, Captain Lee says a small apart of him was enjoying the hell out of it. Grumpy Charlie says he had a dream that he and Bruno got married, and lived in Portugal.

One of the guests who went with the captain tells them that the swells were nine feet felt, and they agree it’s unsafe. One of the women is waiting on a chai latte with soy milk. Jen is lollygagging in the kitchen, and Kate tells her to go now. She tells the guests she has some suggestions for the day. There’s a great place to go shopping on shore, and they’re close to a man-made reef where they can go exploring. It has fish and a sunken helicopter. Jen says Kate is stressing her out. In her interview, Kate says Jen was making the latte the way she does her hair. It took forever, an still looked like sh*t.

The captain calls Kate, EJ, and Matt to the bridge, and tells them to do whatever they can. Kate says they’re having a luau, and she’s ordered hula dancers. Captain Lee says how well they distract the guests can make a difference in the tip. Nico is pissed off and grumpy. He has no control over anything; it’s EJ’s deck. Kate tells the stews that when she gets back, they’ll discuss breaks. She leaves with the guests, one of them noting it’s Kate plus eight.

Matt has never done a luau, and isn’t himself right now. He feels like the world’s largest punching bag. The guests go to the reef, and do stuff underwater, while Kate serves drinks to the one woman who’s a party pooper. The reef is beyond cool. Kate texts the captain, asking if he’s ready for tonight, and he wonders what that means.

EJ explains to Baker that he’s going to be leaving, but asks her not to tell the others yet. She says it’s a bummer. Jen is having lunch in the crew mess. Bri radios her, but she keeps talking and eating. Bri finally goes to the mess, and asks if she can eat more and talk less. Jen whines that she’s entitled to eat the rest of her food, and Bri needs to shut up. Bri says she’s following Kates rules, and Jen accuses Bri of attacking her, when she did nothing of the kind. When they cross paths afterward, Jen says she has nothing to say to Bri.

Bruno helps Matt, making him a happy guy. They make a birthday cake. EJ wishes he had more time with Baker. He feels there are still chapters to be written. Please. The guests get back. Kate wonders what the stews were doing, since the laundry isn’t done and there are dishes in the sink. Bruno says there was some kind of tiff because one took a longer lunch than the other. Kate says apparently, they both took six hour lunches. She tells Bri about the laundry, and Bri says she’s mad at the wrong stew.

EJ thinks the deck crew has graduated to a higher level, and will be successful the rest of the season. Jen relays the dinner menu to the guests. Kate talks to her, and she acts like Bri was some kind of dictator who wouldn’t let her eat. Kate wants to know what happened the whole five hours. In her interview, she says Jen loves extra break time, and is competitive with Bri. She’s lying. Kate asks what time the captain is putting on his royal Hawaiian outfit. He says he’s not changing, and she says, yes he is. She got him an outfit. Bruno does some decorating. He wonders how the boat could be empty all day, and nothing done. Nico suggests he and Bri go to the hotel in town during their off-time. Kate asks Bri about what happened, and Bri says she felt she had to say something to Jen, but doesn’t think Jen ever came back from lunch.

Everyone gets dressed up for the luau in grass skirts and such. Jen rolls her eyes at whatever Bri says. Bri thinks her behavior in front of guests is unprofessional, and she plays the victim. Bruno says Charlie seems to have crush on him, and it’s fun to play along. He tells Matt that nothing has been set up outside. Kate asks Bruno how he feels, and he says the buffet looks terrible. She says he should tell the captain what he would do differently. He wants to know.

Bruno gets to the bridge and Captain Lee is in a whole get-up, with a floral headpiece, grass skirt, and a pineapple on the end of a staff. I guess he’s a Hawaiian chieftain. Bruno says he nailed it. In her interview, Kate remembers when she was green and knew everything. She was an idiot. Bri leads the guests upstairs, and Captain Lee tells them to be seated. He introduces himself as Don Ho’s brother, Ass. He does an entire riff, and says by the power invested in him by some nonsense, it’s officially Jason Swing Day, let the games begin. The hula dancers come out and do their thing. The captain says he’s outside his comfort zone, but contributing. If crew does it, he has to step up to the plate and sacrifice some dignity. Bruno admits Kate knows a lot, and he should be more humble. Captain Lee wants a raise.

Jen asks if she can have dinner, and Kate asks if she had lunch. Kate didn’t. Kate says she’s going to be the early girl, so Bri and Jen are going to do the clean-up work. She leaves written instructions so there’s no confusion. In her interview, she says she’s done all kinds of managing, and it’s time for good, old-fashioned shut-up and work. Jen complains that Kate has issues, and she hates life right now. She calls Kate a miserable, old bitch.

As Captain Lee would say, suck it up, buttercup.

Next time, Eden complains about the food, the captain is concerned about Bruno in the galley, the charter is a girlfriends’ trip, a new deckhand arrives, and Captain Lee’s wife, Maryann, visits.