What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

 

General Hospital

Jason tells Sam he’s on his way out. He and Spinelli are working on getting evidence of Carly’s innocence. Sam says there’s not a lot of time. It’s about Drew.

Andre and Drew meet outside. Drew has been doing some thinking, and Andre asks if he wants to reconsider. Drew says just the opposite, and gives him an envelope. It’s a DNR. He says in case it goes the wrong way, just let him go.

At the hospital, Obrecht demands a word with Anna. Anna says it’s not the place, and Obrecht asks if Anna thinks she cares. It’s her fault Obrecht’s son is dead.

Peter says, if it isn’t his oldest friend. Valentin says he’s so sorry this is happening to him. Peter says he should be; he put the whole thing in motion. Valentin says, it’s true. He stole Peter, took him from a loving family, and brought him to his father. Peter says it’s a good thing there are bars between them, or he’d kill Valentin with his bare hands.

Ava has insufficient memory on her phone, and picks out things to send to the cloud. She sees the paternity test, and is about to delete it, and hears someone come in. It’s David. She tells him the gallery is closed, but he says he was hoping to pick up something beautiful.

Kiki and Elizabeth go to Monica’s office. Elizabeth tells Kiki that she can do this. Monica asks if everything is all right, and Kiki says, no. She’d like to file a complaint against Dr. Bensch. Monica asks on what grounds, and Kiki says for the past few months, he’s been sexually harassing her.

Jason tells Sam that Kim was just there. She told him Drew wants the procedure done, and Andrew has agreed, but he could be incapacitated if something goes wrong. She wanted Jason to stop him. Sam says if the procedure is going to work, Andre needs the flash drive. Peter has it, but is willing to make a trade. Jason asks what he wants, and Sam says, his freedom.

Andre asks if a DNR isn’t a little extreme, but Drew doesn’t think so. Andre has explained the risks, and he gets it. His hope is that once Jason’s memories are removed, his own original memories will surface. Andre says his latest research supports that, but if he’s unsuccessful, Drew could lose his cognitive abilities. Drew says, if that happens, he wants Andrew to honor his wishes, and let him die.

Obrecht tells Anna that she knows the truth about Nathan’s death, and why Faison came back. She calls Anna a hypocrite, judging her feelings for Faison, when she also shared his bed. Anna says it was one night. Obrecht says she knew everything about his bastard son.

Peter says he thought Valentin was the one person who found him worthwhile, but he wanted to use it as leverage against Anna. He tells Valentin not to insult them both by pretending their friendship meant anything. Valentin says he and Anna were both younger. He loved her, but she wouldn’t have him. He wanted her to hurt like he did. He was the only one who knew and realized she was pregnant. He followed her, and knew she’d left the baby. He assumed wrongly that she thought the baby was just an inconvenience, and he didn’t like that. He wanted to punish her. He took Peter to Faison, and regretted it every day since.

Anna tells Obrecht to keep her voice down. Obrecht says, to spare her embarrassment? It’s the least she deserves. Griff says, enough, and tells Obrecht she’s on the wrong floor to see the baby. Obrecht says this isn’t over. Anna’s actions took her son from her. What goes around comes around. She leaves, and Anna guesses Griff heard. He says it was hard not to, but it didn’t make sense. She says it will if he understands that Faison’s child is Peter, and is actually her son.

Jason tells Sam to back up, and asks when she talked to Peter. She says she went to tell him that she was grateful he kept Jason alive. Jason says he only did it to kill Faison, but she says that doesn’t change the fact that he’s there now. Jason tells her not to let Peter take advantage because of it. She says that’s what she told Peter. Drew said he’d rather have the procedure without the flash drive. It was a risk he was willing to take, but she can’t. Jason nods sagely.

Andre tells Drew it’s something that’s widely debated. Drew says he did some digging, and euthanasia has been legal in some states for at least two years. He doesn’t want his daughter to be afraid of him, and be a shell of a human being wile she’s growing up. He tells Andre to cheer up, and asks what happens next.

Peter tells Valentin it feels like another lie. Valentin says by the time he realized his horrible mistake, someone else was paying the price. Peter used Nathan, and lured Faison to Port Charles, but didn’t think about what Maxie stood to lose. By the time he looked up, Nathan was dead, and Maxie was a widow with a baby who is never going to know his father. He asks if Peter is going to stick around and make amends and mitigate the damage.

Anna tells Griff abut Valentin taking the baby. Griff says no wonder she was so determined to find him. Anna says she wanted to find him because she realized he could be a carrier. She asks if Griff didn’t say he just tested someone for Huntington’s disease. Was it Peter? He must have thought it was a strange coincidence. He couldn’t have known Peter was Faison’s son. Her phone rings, and Griff gives a good worried look. He thinks about when he told Peter that he’d keep what he knew in confidence.

Ava tells David that she can stay open a few minutes longer. She knows he’s been helping Kiki. David says she has a lot of potential. He just hopes… She says, what? He says he’s sorry; he shouldn’t have said anything. She says she wants to hear any concerns he has, and he says she seems off lately. He asks if there’s something going on in her personal life.

Kiki tells Monica after she rejected his gifts and kiss, he was either hostile or overly friendly. This afternoon, he threatened to submit a negative evaluation if she didn’t have sex with him. Monica asks if he said those exact words, and Kiki says he showed her a draft of her evaluation, and it was terrible and untrue. He told her that he could revise it in her favor if she met him at his hotel room, but she said no. Monica is sorry this happened under her watch, and asks Elizabeth if she witnessed anything, but Elizabeth says she’s just there for moral support. She says she believes Kiki, but Monica says, unfortunately, that’s not enough. She asks if anyone witnessed his improper behavior, and Kiki says Dillon thought Dr. Bensch was hitting on her. She adds, in all fairness, he was comforting her after the anniversary of Morgan’s death, and she let him. Elizabeth says she didn’t let him do anything; she didn’t ask for any of this. Kiki says other students mentioned him liking her, but it was more of a teacher’s pet thing. He only made advances when they were alone. Monica says, so there’s no proof. Kiki asks if Monica thinks she’s lying.

Sam asks if Jason wants to help her break Peter out of custody. He says it’s Drew’s risk to take, and she shouldn’t interfere. She says she’s going to anyway, but Jason is afraid she’ll get caught by herself, and he has Carly to deal with. She also can’t break him out because it’s too dangerous for Anna.

Griff asks what Anna is going to do. She says they’ve probably scheduled transport for Peter. She wants to be with him every step of the way, but he doesn’t want anything to do with her. She can’t believe she didn’t see it; the clues were right in front of her. She would have warned him, and helped him to escape; the son she abandoned. She would have done it even if he was guilty. She would have gone against her own agency. It looks like he’s going to Steinmaur for who knows how long, and there’s nothing she can do. Griff says he has to tell her something. Deanna interrupts, saying Anna’s treatment is ready. Griff says it can wait. She thanks him for his support, and says she doesn’t know what she’d do without him.

Peter says Valentin knew his father was obsessed with Anna. Why not tell him that Anna is his mother? Valentin says, strategy; always leave something in reserve. Watching Peter grow up and become his own person, he became sympathetic of the situation, and his objective changed. If he’d known, Faison would have been more obsessed with Peter than Anna. He would have never escaped. He became his own man, and when the time was right, Valentin helped him establish a new identity. Peter asks if he should thank him, and Valentin says, no. The worst thing isn’t that it happened, but that Valentin is his only friend.

Andre says it would be irresponsible to wipe out Drew’s memories without backup. Drew says he’s willing to take the risk. Andre says he isn’t. If he knew where the flash drive was, it would be different. Drew says he knows.

Ava asks David how Kiki seems off. He says she comes in late, and she’s not quite on her game. She’s easily distracted, and using her phone all the time. Something or someone is taking her attention away. Ava explains that her little sister went missing, and it was a very difficult time. She’s fine, but it put them through a lot. He says he’s sorry to hear about it. He thinks Kiki has the ability to be a fine doctor, but he’s seen students with potential go up in flames in medical school. The pressure is too much, and they snap; vanishing from exams or giving wild stories as excuses for poor grades. He says it’s a demanding program, and Ava says she’s confident Kiki can handle it. David says his office looks barren. She tells him to email a photo of his office, and she’ll have some selections for him to choose from in the morning. He says, just in case, and gives his card to her. He’s glad Kiki has a strong support system. He hopes she knows how lucky she is.

Monica says in no way is she accusing Kiki of lying, or implying she might have misunderstood. In the absence of proof, she can’t act directly on a complaint. Elizabeth says she’s the chief of surgery. Doesn’t she have wiggle room? Monica says she’s under higher scrutiny; she has a history, and promised the board to recuse herself from these issues. Kiki will have to go to HR. They’ll take the lead, and launch an investigative interview, and every effort will be made to keep it confidential. Kiki says it doesn’t matter. He’s going to know it came from her.

Jason tells Sam if he’d gotten to the pier ten seconds later, Anna would have been dead. Peter was holding a gun to her head. He would have killed her; that’s what the book was about. He can’t let Anna die, and the only way she’s safe is if Peter is dead or in Steinmaur. Sam says, thanks for listening. He asks her not to do it by herself; he can’t let her. What about her kids? She says it’s not up to him. She can’t let Drew have the procedure without the flash drive; it’s too dangerous. It’s her choice, like all the choices he made that broke her heart, but she respected them. Now he’s going to respect hers. You go, Sam.

Drew tells Andre that Peter has the flash drive. He’ll give it to Drew if Drew breaks him out of jail, but the price is too high, but this matter is something else. He wants to have the procedure done as planned. Andre says he can’t do it

Peter asks what Valentin is going to do for him, calling him friend. Valentin asks what Peter wants him to do. Peter says, as it stands, he’s about to be extradited. There are enough charges to hold him years or a decade. Valentin thinks Anna must have some pull, but Peter asks why trust the bitch who abandoned him. Valentin says Anna did what she could to protect him. He’s the one who screwed up. Peter says he had it right the first time; he was an inconvenience. She handed him over and never looked back. Maybe it was easier to say he was in a good home. It’s pathetic how Valentin is defending a woman who despises him. Valentin says if he won’t take help form Anna, what does Peter want him to do?

Griff goes to the gallery. He thinks about being with Kiki in bed. He asks Ava if she’s ready to go. She asks what’s going on with Kiki.

Kiki is concerned David could make an even bigger effort to make her life a living hell. Monica says the hospital has to remain impartial until something has been proven. It’s a very involved process, but she can rearrange the schedule, so there’s no contact. Kiki says she already did, and he changed his to overlap. Elizabeth suggests that she or Griff be scheduled at the same time. Kiki asks what happens if her accusations are found to be true, and discovers although he can be suspended, and she could get financial damages, he’s not fired. Monica says, unfortunately, it’s the policy. They’re becoming more aware as a society, but the policies in place haven’t caught up. Monica says Kiki will have her full support, but wants her to know what to expect. Kiki says a good friend told her if someone doesn’t out the abuser, they’re free to abuse someone else. She’s moving forward.

Griff asks what Ava is talking about, and she says a customer who works with her thought either the pressure is getting to her or something is going on in her personal life. She says she’ll talk to Kiki, but he looks anxious himself. He says he and Anna had an intense conversation. Faison was hounding Anna her whole life. His son was living in Port Charles, but he’s not just Faison’s son; he’s also Anna’s. She gave up the child to a loving family, but Peter ended up back with Faison. Anna is taking it hard. It didn’t have to turn out this way; he could have done something. Ava realizes it’s the test he didn’t have permission to run. Peter was his patient, and he discovered Faison was his father.

Andre suggests Drew is a wealthy man, and could help Peter that way. Drew says he’s not working with him. Andre says he wants his life back, and the only way is to give his help.

Griff explains why he ran the test. Peter begged him to keep his secret, saying Jason would kill him. Ava says she couldn’t blame him. Griff says he knew the risk, and watched him get close to Maxie. Ava says he did what he thought best. Telling Anna the truth is the last thing he should do.

Jason and Sam go to Peter’s cell. Valentin is sitting there, but no Peter.

Monica says she’ll notify HR, and asks Kiki to give a statement. She says perhaps more women will come forward after an official accusation. Elizabeth hopes the truth comes out. Elizabeth gets a call, and has to go back to work. David sees them, and smiles at Kiki, who follows Elizabeth.

Ava says Griff can get fired. He says Peter knows Anna is one of his best friends. He doesn’t want her to hear the truth from someone else. She says that’s how he gets tripped up. He tries to do the selfless thing, when it’s selfish. It might ease his conscience, but what a friend needs the most is always support. Why bother her with the knowledge. He says maybe she’s right; he doesn’t know. Ava says she’ll keep his secret.

Peter grabs his room key from a cleaning car. He opens a wall vent, and takes out a whole load of money, and his passport.

Sam asks where Peter is, and Valentin say he escaped somehow. Sam thinks he couldn’t have gotten far, but she and Jason run into Anna on their way out. Ann asks what’s going on. Sam says Peter escaped. They all look at Valentin.

Peter leaves a letter for Maxie on the table. He goes out, and comes back.

Andre tells Drew that he’s secured a medical facility for the next three days. If he agrees to wait to the end of the last day, a lot can change. Drew doesn’t think it’s likely that Peter will hand over the flash drive, but Andre says they might not need it when they move forward.

Peter leaves a letter for Drew. He takes out the flash drive. The door opens behind him, and he gets a  syringe in his back

Anna says the security cameras are normal, but there’s no sign of Peter’s escape. The guard has been paged. Valentin asks if they want to let him out, and they all say, no.  Anna knows Sam and Jason wouldn’t be working with Valentin, and must be on their own. She doesn’t know why they’d help, unless it’s to kill Peter. Sam says Peter has the flash drive. Now he’s gone, and so is any chance to restore Drew’s memories.

Peter is dragged away.

Tomorrow, Peter sees Maxie, Carly asks if there’s been progress, and Nelle apologizes to Michael for what she did to Carly.

Southern Charm

Ashley tells Kathryn to get used to her, and she sees the kids more than Kathryn. Kathryn says if Ashley wants her to be put in her place, she’ll effing do it. Ashley says she knows more than anyone. Chelsea tells Ashely, enough, and Danni says they know her more than Ashley does. She sees how the kids are when they get back from seeing her Thomas notices something is going on, and Craig says, this is bad, dude. Kathryn asks what’s wrong with the kids, and Ashley says they don’t sleep. In her interview – where she’s wearing the most fabulous earrings ever – Kathryn says the kids only get to see her for two days. Ashley says what’s scarier is that they’re start getting more time with her. The table starts rumbling, and Kathryn tells her to STFU. Ashley tells Kathryn to watch herself, and Danni asks if she’s threatening Kathryn. She’s not moving in the right direction with her. Ashley says she doesn’t respect Kathryn, and Kathryn says, good to know. Thomas is encouraged to step in. Whitney says an intervention is needed. Ashley, who just keeps on vomiting horrible words and flipping her hair (or tossing her head like a circus pony, if you will), says that people warned her about Kathryn when she started dating Thomas. Danni suggests she stop talking. Ashley says she’s heard things from the nanny – the nanny Kathryn fired. Danni finally tells Ashley to stop flipping her hair. Whitney asks if Thomas would… and Thomas says, salvage the evening? In his interview, he says he’s trying to be respectful toward Ashley, but the mother of his children also deserves respect. He’s in a difficult position. Ashley says she hopes Kathryn becomes the best mother she can be. Kathryn is like, go away with your bullsh*t. Danni drags Thomas over to the side, and says she is not allowed to talk about the mother of his kids that way. Ashley asks how many times Kathryn visited her son in the hospital. In her interview, Kathryn says Thomas told her that she couldn’t go. Who does Ashley think is in control. Ashley says she didn’t give a f***. Danni tells Thomas that Ashley has no right to be talking like she is, and to shut her down. Chelsea tells Kathryn not to engage, and Ashley tells her to shut up. Danni tells Ashley to go; no one wants her there anyway. Ashley repeats this is what she heard from the nanny. Thomas is like, come on, but she can’t stop, and keeps babbling as he leads her away from the table.

Chelsea can’t even speak. Kathryn is concerned she’s coming back, but Chelsea says she wouldn’t. Craig thinks they’re coming, but they keep moving. Kathryn says, that was lovely. Whitney is shocked at how well Kathryn handled it. He says, years ago, she would have stabbed Ashley with a fork. Kathryn says she’s glad have them around her.

Ashley tells Thomas that she doesn’t like any of those girls. In her interview, Kathryn says having everybody banding around her and having her back is crazy, and feels wonderful. At the table, Chelsea says she can’t imagine having kids, and loving them like she does, and having someone say sh*t like that. Chelsea starts to cry, saying she was trying to be nice and include Ashley, but that was deep. Whitney says it was intense. Chelsea says she’s an evil bitch. Shep says he has to download what happened.

Ashley tells Thomas that she was trying to be her kind, sweet self. She kissed Kathryn’s ass. She says this like, four times, then says she’s done kissing her ass. She knew she wasn’t invited to Saint’s party, and Kathryn said she’d only be around for another month. She says how bad of a mother do you have to be, if the court gives – excuse her – the kids to a convicted felon. He’s wonderful, but she’s sick of everyone feeling sorry for Kathryn. Thomas suggests Ashley is better off not even engaging. This chick is some piece of work.

Danni flips her hair around. Chelsea says it’ s all about the Charleston thing. Ashley tells Thomas that she’s not leaving; he’s stuck with her. Shep tells Kathryn that he’s sorry. Thomas stops by and says they’re going to sit inside. When they’re gone, Craig says the worst part is that they have to take the ferry together. He says that Kathryn is sober, and crushing life. They didn’t need him to save the day. Everyone laughs.

Ashley tells Thomas that she’s never fought for a man. She still hasn’t. She was fighting about an invite to a birthday party. She says she doesn’t see life without him in it, and she’d marry him tomorrow. His body language says he wants to dig a very, very, very deep hole, and crawl in it. Kathryn and Naomie go to the bathroom. Chelsea and Austen sit by the fire. He tells her that he talked to Victoria recently, and they’re giving it another shot, but he doesn’t want it to affect their friendship. The last time, he missed her, and doesn’t want to lose her again. She says he’d told her the reason he’d ended things, was because the spark wasn’t there. He tells her that he said it because of her. He asks at what point she knew it wasn’t going to work out. She says where she’s at is different from where he is. He can party and live it up. She thinks she’d eventually bore the hell out of him. She says he shouldn’t have had to choose; she should have never put him in that situation. She can deal with it now; she was being emotional. In her interview, she says every now and then, she wonders if she’s missing something. They are close friends and you’re supposed to be with your best friend. They hug, and he talks about sitting in rocking chairs together one day.

Shep asks Ashley what happened? It seemed like they were getting along; he doesn’t get it. Ashley said she’d been appeasing Kathryn, and she wants to keep her enemies close. She says there’s more to it, and Shep warns her not to say something she can’t take back. In his interview, he says he doesn’t like her. He tells her that what she sees on daily basis is different. She doesn’t know everything; only Kathryn and Thomas know their history, and she needs to be deferential toward their past. She says Kathryn doesn’t care about the kids. In his interview, Shep says she should know better. Whatever she’s thinking, Kathryn isn’t going away. Why dredge up a past that’s not there? It’s outrageous, unfair, and unkind. Shep announces the ferry is leaving. Ashley suggests pushing Kathryn in the water. Wtf is wrong with this woman?

Nice ferry; curtains and everything. Chelsea says it’s up to Kathryn if Ashley can stay in the house. If it makes her uncomfortable, Chelsea feels she shouldn’t be there. Ashley runs to tell Thomas, and he gets loud and confrontational with Chelsea. Chelsea says she’s the one who invited Kathryn, and doesn’t want her to feel uncomfortable. Thomas gets all pissed, and yells that she has no say, so STFU. Wow. Austen tells him that he can’t talk to anyone like that, and Thomas starts the finger-pointing thing, and gets big like a turkey. Danni tells Ashley to quit smirking, which she totally is. Ashley calls her an enabler, and Danni says eff you. In his interview, Austen says this speaks volumes about Ashley’s character, which is trash. Shep says he had a tough night; it was not what he wanted. Austen sits with Chelsea, and they watch Thomas and Ashley make out. In her interview, Kathryn says they’re like a sick, unhealthy, mental hospital room couple. I am so laughing my way through this episode. Whitney tells Thomas to calm it down, and it gets quiet. Thomas apologizes, saying he was ungentlemanly. Chelsea says, thanks, and he asks if he’s cool with everyone. No one is really talking to him though.

Back to the house. Ashley tells Thomas she’s frustrated, but Thomas doesn’t want to talk about it. Shep, Austen, and Whitney go out to a bar. Naomie whines about Craig saying he’ll be making breakfast, and he says he doesn’t need to hear negativity. On the porch, Danni asks Thomas if she’s an enabler. Ashley peeks out, and peeks back in. Danni tells Thomas that he didn’t hear the half of it. Thomas says he wants to respect her, and let her finish. Kathryn says the stuff she was saying wasn’t even true, and she was inappropriate in every way.

Ashley tells Chelsea that she tried. Chelsea wonders if she thinks being evil makes it better. Ashley say she doesn’t want to be taken advantage of, and wants to know why Kathryn isn’t being nice. Chelsea points out what Ashley said to her, and Ashley says it’s been building up; it didn’t just happen tonight. Ashley can’t believe Kathryn really wants to get to know her, but Chelsea says, she does. Chelsea isn’t sure she can turn back from this, and says she thought they had a good relationship, and were doing co-parenting right. Ashley stomps her foot (okay, I made that up, but she should have), and says she doesn’t want to hang out with Kathryn. She’s been being nice for the sake of the effing children. She says, everyone moves on, like Kathryn has been stalking Thomas. Chelsea tries again, telling Ashley she just said evil sh*t about their mother. Ashley says, just because you gave birth to something, doesn’t mean you’re a mother. Then she says, accountability, Chelsea, like she’s a character in Hamilton or 1776. Chelsea tells her to stop talking to her like that. Ashley says she doesn’t need Chelsea. Danni tells Thomas that Ashley owes Kathryn an apology. Kathryn says Ashley owes her going away and never coming back. Thomas says it’s a difficult situation, and Kathryn says it’s going to be a legal situation. Thomas does a spit take with his drink. Thomas says Ashley gets protective, and Kathryn says she has nothing to protect. So Thomas goes for the, she’s half Italian excuse, saying they’re a passionate people, and wave their hands around when they talk. Kathryn calls bullsh*t. She tells Thomas that she doesn’t have much to say, but it’s a damn shame. Thomas sighs.

Crag asks if Austen is a bacon wizard; he’ll do the eggs. Naomie tells the other girls it’s nice that everyone was there for Kathryn. She was trembling the whole time. In bed with Thomas, Ashley says she’s rehashing what happened in her mind, and she’s not going to have any girlfriends. Thomas thinks she should lay low. Danni says what Ashley was saying was inappropriate, and Naomie says they were things you should never say to someone doing better, and moving on from their past. Danni wonders how she can bring herself back, and Chelsea says she’s not apologetic at all. She ain’t right. Ashley tells  Thomas she’s not ready to leave; it will mean they got the best of her. He tells her not to fight, but she can’t promise she won’t stick up for herself. He tells her that she doesn’t always need to have the last word. It comes off as petty.

Shep asks, why so many mushrooms? Kathryn joins the girls, and says she thought last night lasted ten hours. Chelsea says she didn’t know how to react. She never had a man yell at her like that. Kathryn says they’re the ones with her children. They discuss breakfast, and decide to eat. Kathryn asks if they’ll have her back, and Chelsea shows her the big hand drink holder.

Shep calls Cameran, but gets voicemail. The breakfast is presented. Naomie says Craig waited until after they broke up to fix breakfast. Thomas and Ashley come in, and the girls are quiet. Ashley opens champagne. Kathryn wonders how she’s not embarrassed, and just staying there. Danni calls her shameless. They group realizes Whitney is missing, and Chelsea suggests he’s hanging upside down in the closet. Austen calls Whitney, who went to get his own breakfast. Chelsea has rented a charter boat for crabbing. Shep asks Ashley and Thomas if they could just chill at the house. He’s hired a chef to prepare their haul. Whitney comes back bearing groceries. Ashley tells Thomas that she hopes their boat doesn’t capsize.

In the car, Shep thinks Ashley doesn’t have a lot going on upstairs. Kathryn says the elevator doesn’t go all the way up, and Craig says it stops at random floors too. Naomie says Thomas is easily manipulated. She tells them that she rode back with them, and Ashley told Thomas why they were perfect for one another. it was weird. Danni says she and Kathryn could have had a good relationship. She’s acting like nothing happened. Ashley goes upstairs, and Whitney tells Thomas that he has his hands full. He asks what prompted it, and Thomas says Ashley felt excluded with Saint’s party. He says she shouldn’t have gone there. Until he knows what the future holds, it’s premature for Ashley to step in the role of holding his baby mama to account. I can’t believe this jerk calls Kathryn his baby mama. Whitney says Kathryn remained cool, calm, and controlled under such a withering attack. Thomas is surprised. He’s never seen that in anyone, least of all, her. Maybe she has changed.

Shep introduces the captain of the boat he’s chartered, Michael aka Papa Bear. They go back twenty years; their parents were best friends. Chelsea gives her group a tour on the way there, saying she was a river rat growing up. They’re going with Chris, an old neighbor. Chris’s first memory of Chelsea is her waving as he went by in his father’s truck when she was five. It’s hazy, and Austen says it’s like the setting for a horror movie; it’s ominous.

Shep hooks a little shark. Poor thing. They take a picture, and let it go.

Austen says this time next year, they’ll be drinking his beer. He wonders if Shep is catching anything.

Craig hooks a rock. Shep takes a picture.

Chris pulls up a net of crabs. They joke around, making one grab Naomie’s boot.

Ashley messes with Thomas’s hair, calling him the cutest thing, and making me gag. She says they’d have beautiful babies, and he agrees. She says they should keep practicing, and that he’s a keeper. She paints his toenails, and says everyone on the high seas is fishing for dinner. He asks if she feels the need to apologize, and she says, no. Those were her true feelings, and she still feels that way.

Craig tells Kathryn that she has something in common with crazy girl. Neither of them use birth control with Thomas, who told them at dinner. Shep thinks Ashley will be far away very soon. Craig says, not if she gets knocked up.

Still trying to get Ashley to be a human, Thomas asks if she regrets the content of her speech. She says she learned long ago not wrestle with pigs. You both get dirty, and pigs like it. She wrestled with pigs last night. Oy.

Craig thinks Ashley wants to be set for life, and Kathryn laughs, saying she’ll never get anything. Shep says she did get $10K in clothes. Kathryn says all she ever got was a purse and a suitcase. We flash back to her Louis Vuitton being put in the car.

Chelsea likes this side of Austen. Only camo would make it better. She says they’re eating good tonight. Naomie takes selfies with Danni.

Ashley asks if Thomas had a fun day. She tells him it’s nice to have a buddy you can do nothing with and still have fun. Chelsea’s group brings in their haul. Chef Orchid tells them they did very well, and they go off to shower. Shep brings in three flounder and a tile fish. Chelsea says they crushed it, and he says the  conditions were rough. We see a clip of them buying the flounder at the fish market. Craig leaves to shower. Shep brings the fish to Orchid. It starts raining, so things have to be rearranged. Craig ran out of clothes, and in his interview, says he doesn’t give a sh*t. He really does, but he’s going to act like he doesn’t

Orchid beings out appetizers and makes drinks. Naomie tells Danni that it’s weird, acting like nothing happened. Chelsea says she’s keeping the peace. Craig comes in wearing a hoodie with nothing under it. Ashley asks Thomas to feed her, disgusting everyone. In her interview, Naomie says, feed yourself; you’re thirty-something years old. Thomas asks about Cameran’s baby update, and Chelsea says if she’s not there on Monday, Cameran is having a C-section. Ashley gripes that Kathryn exists. Kathryn asks Naomie to go sit somewhere else. Shep asks what Thomas and Ashley did, and Thomas says she gave him a pedicure. He asks how long Thomas is going to have paint on his nails, and Ashley says as long as she wants. Then she’s going to reapply it. This is like some kind of creepy control thing. She asks who the boas is, and Thomas says he is. Ashley says, he thinks he is, and Shep says he’s never seen him not being the boss. Ashley insists she is, and Thomas says he lets her think that. In his interview, Shep says Ashley’s confrontation with Kathryn turned her, in her mind, into the biggest badass in Hilton Head. She asks Shep to get her a shot – chilled. He says okay, and she says she told him she was the boss. The look on his face is priceless, and I wonder if he ever brings the shot. I wouldn’t.

There’s an outdoor room that’s enclosed, where Naomie, Danni, and Kathryn are sitting. Shep joins them. He says he doesn’t like her. Ashley has an irrational confidence that makes him sick to his stomach. She’s saying she’s in charge, and she told him, good talk. Shep says, eff you. She’s lucky he’s letting her breath the same air. She’s stealing his oxygen. He says she’s on her way out. Crazy as he is, Thomas doesn’t like it. He’s in there sitting without them, when he wants to be T-Rav. Ashley is a pariah.

The food looks amazing. Whitney puts his fork right in a platter, and takes a bite. Craig says they’ve created farm to table. Talking about the crab, Craig says size has nothing to do with it, and Shep asks if that’s what the last girl told him. Everyone sits at the dining table. Thomas and Ashley need seats. Kathryn asks Naomie to scoot down, and she says no. No one is getting the extra chair that’s needed. So Ashley stomps off to get it herself. Shep asks if she’ll get him a beer while she’s at it, and Craig is dying laughing. Thomas gets up to help her, but he’s too late. She brings in a chair from the porch, and someone says there’s room behind Whitney. They should get children’s table for her, since she acts like a child. She also can’t comprehend how to eat shellfish.

Shep asks for everyone’s attention. He and Chelsea thank them for coming and experiencing it with them. Chelsea says she’s proud of where she’s from. Shep says Charleston is fantastic, but it has a positive vibe here. Chelsea toasts to friends and good times. Victoria calls Austen, who steps outside. Chelsea thinks they should move the conversation to the living room, and Whitney gripes that he was still eating. Danni says what about doing the dishes, and asks if he’s ever done a dish. He says he has, but I don’t believe it.

Victoria starts in on Austen about a picture of him and Chelsea on the ferry, where she says Chelsea is kissing his arm. She tells him it’s disrespectful, she can’t believe it, and they’re a-holes. He thinks she’s overreacting, and she always has when it involves Chelsea. He says he’s not going to feel weird about a hug, and he’s not talking her off the ledge every time she has an insecure thought. She sends the picture, and it looks innocuous to me. He asks if she wants it to end like this; her being jealous of Chelsea holding his arm because it’s cold. Victoria insists she’s kissing his arm, and Austen says, no, she’s not. He asks if she’s serious. Then he says, hello…?

To be continued…

Next time, Chelsea goes to her childhood home, Shep has surgery, Craig goes to therapy, and Saint’s birthday party happens. Kathryn asks Thomas if he’d like to stay for dinner, but I don’t see any sign of Ashley.

🍸 Best. Episode. Ever. And extra- long. I’m not a doctor, and don’t play one on TV, but Ashley is insane. And Thomas is even insaner to be with her.

🔊 Great Quote & Advice…

Fake success if you can’t achieve success. – Craig Conover, Southern Charm

👶 Born in June…