What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

 

General Hospital

Kristina looks for job on her laptop, while Mike plays solitaire. She says there’s not much out there for people without a degree. Maybe she should open a medical marijuana dispensary. Mike asks if she’s met her father and they laugh. Sonny asks what’s going on, and they say, nothing.

Ava goes to Charlie’s. Julian says after their last conversation, he thought he’d have to find a far-off country. She says if anyone should get out of town, it’s Griff.

Kiki runs into Griff at the park while they’re both out for a run. He’s shirtless of course.

At the church, Maxie apologizes to Nina for being late. James is an early teether. He gets his sweet disposition from Nathan, but the tantrum he just threw is all her. Nina says she should have brought him, but Maxie was afraid he’d disturb the mourners. They walk inside, and Maxie says, absolutely no one came. Nina says, surprise. Her mother died and no one cares.

On the phone, Curtis tells Curt headed to Riker’s to talk with the attorney. Valentin says he’s paying a premium, and it would be nice to see results. Nina deserves to know if her child is still alive. Curtis says a few more hours won’t make a difference. He wonders if Valentin thinks this is going to save his marriage. If so, it’s in his best interest for Curtis to be as thorough as possible. Valentin tells him to just find the child. Anna approaches Valentin’s table at the MetroCourt, and says he has a habit of that, misplacing children.

Curtis argues with someone at the jail on the phone. He can’t believe he’ll have to sign in just to wait. There’s a knock at the door. It’s Jordan.

Anna asks if Valentin is talking about Charlotte, but he says she’s fine. Anna says Robin and Peter are accounted for, so she’s covered. He tells her it’s none of her business. She says from what she understands, he helped her son purchase a trashy paper, and Valentin says she’s welcome. She tells him to stay away from Peter. He’s done enough damage. He says it’s late in the game for her to be choosing her son’s friends. He has no agenda, other than making what amends he can. He won’t seek Peter out, but if Peter comes to him, he’s not driving him away. He says she looks none the worse for wear. He heard she and Finn were MIA. She says their captors were connected to Cassandra Pierce.

Maxie wonders if Nina should have put a notice in the paper so people would know. Nina asks, what people? Maxie can’t believe Madeline had a heart attack. Nina can’t either; she’d need a heart for it to be attacked. Maxie says, still, it’s too bad she died all alone. Nina says, it is. She could have had her daughter and grandchild by her side; but because of her greed, she died alone like she deserved, with no one to mourn, even her.

Stella arrives at Sonny’s, and Mike says his date is there. He confesses that he’s blurry about their plans. She says she’s taking him out while his family fixes up the place for him. He introduces her to Kristina, and asks Carly what they’re doing. She says they’re making some alternations to make his life easier. He asks how much it’s going to cost, and Sonny tells him it’s not like they’re taking out a second mortgage. Mike says he has money, and Stella suggests he spend it on her. They leave, and Kristina says he doesn’t seem all that bad. Carly says it comes and goes; there was a bad incident the other night. Kristina asks what happened, and Sonny says it was just a misunderstanding. Carly suggests Kristina spend the day with Avery, but she has to look for a job. Carly says Kristina should work for her.

Griff asks how Kiki has been, and she says, better now that David is out of her life for good. Monica gave him the boot. She surprised Griff didn’t know, but he says he’s been out of the loop since his suspension. She hopes he’s back on staff soon, but he doesn’t know when it will be. Maybe never.

Ava tells Julian that she’s over Griff’s hypocritical sermonizing. If he exposes her, he’ll have her blood on his hands. He’s making unfounded accusations about her role in Carly going to Ferncliff. Julian says Ava made him complicit, and she’s guilty as hell. She says Griff promised he wouldn’t say anything unless she does something he finds immoral. She’s only safe if he approves of her conduct. The situation has gotten much too volatile for her liking.

Kristina appreciates the offer, but says she turned down her mom, and doesn’t want to play favorites. Carly understands.

Ava tells Julian something must be done about Griff. What’s she supposed to do? Lock herself away? Avoid cracks on the sidewalk. Julian asks what she’s going to do? Kill Griff? She says, not by herself.

Griff says hearings at the hospital move slowly. Kiki offers to speak on his behalf, but he says it doesn’t work that way. She suggests she talk to Michael, who’s on the board, but Griff says he needs to stand or fall on his own merit. She wonders if they can get her mom to recant her story. Griff says that’s unlikely, and anyway, he already confessed. She says, so her mom gets revenge, when she’s a million times guiltier than he could ever be.

At Sonny’s, Brick says he heard the queen was back, and kisses Carly’s hand. Sonny reminds Brick that he’s right there, but you can tell he’s having fun with it. Brick says Jason beat him to it. He was going to break Carly out himself, but then they would have gone on the run without telling anyone.

Valentin tells Anna that Robert was disappointed that he had nothing to do with her kidnapping. He asks if there are any leads, and she wonders who wants to get their hands on Cassandra. The only thing she can tell him is they had no intention of killing her. Their goal was for Finn to revive her. They got what they wanted. For better or worse, the last time she saw Cassandra, she was awake and in full possession of her mental faculties.

A homeless person (who I’m sure is not what they seem) shuffles into the church. Maxie says she went a long time without speaking to her own mom. Nina is surprised, saying, everyone loves Felicia. Maxie says her mom was absent for long periods when she was growing up. Even so, she can still remember her mom singing to her when she was little; her fragrance; telling Maxie about her crazy Aztek history. She says, in the end, she was still her mom. Nina knows what she’s trying to do, and appreciates it, but it doesn’t apply. Whatever Felicia’s choices, she always loved Maxie. Nina’s mother didn’t love her in the first place. She purposely out Nina in a coma, and caused her to miscarry her child to get her inheritance.

Maxie needs to check on James. Nina says James is so sweet, and Maxie tells her to make sure she’s not repressing her feelings. Nina says she has none to repress. She’s not sad she’ll never see her mother again; she’s relieved. When Maxie is gone, Nina says it looks like she and baby James are the only ones left in the family. The homeless person says, that’s not true. Nina still has her. It’s Obrecht. Yep, I was right.

Griff tells Kiki that Ava was lashing out. She hurt Kiki, but she loves her. Kiki says, it’s her all-purpose excuse. She does a horrible thing, and thinks she can take it back because she loves her. She’d rather focus on positive things only; like their friendship. Does he think it’s possible? Griff is willing if she is, and she says, definitely. She suggests they do runs together. He agrees, and she asks if he wants to get lunch, but he says he needs another apartment. Kiki says there’s one open down the hall… but that’s weird. Griff wonders what her mom would have to say, and Kiki says she needs to get over herself.

Julian tells Ava that he’s not doing that. She says he suggested it, and he says he was joking. If Griff has a fatal accident after the break-up, it might look suspicious. Stella and Mike come in. Stella says maybe Mike can impart some more advice, and he says she might have to remind him what it was about. She says her nephew and his fiancé. She had resentment, and wishes she’d listened. He guesses it’s not working out. She says she has the feeling she pushed things too far for too long, and it’s coming back to bite her.

Jordan tells Curtis that she’s following a suspect. He asks what the charge are, and she says, meddling in the first degree; she’s the guilty party. She asks if he remembers the counseling session, and he says it’s burned in his brain. She says she got to thinking, what about Stella finding her own happiness? She’d like to make that happen.

Obrecht tells Nina that she’s sorry about Madeline. Nina says she wasn’t much of a mother, but all she had. She thinks Obrecht should be keeping her distance, but Obrecht says, for better or worse, Madeline was her sister. She had to pay her respects. Obrecht apologizes for that business at Windemere. Nina asks if she means leaving her and Peter in a burning stable. Obrecht is glad she made it out. It’s a credit to Valentin; he was determined to save her. Nina says Peter was released, and Obrecht says she knows. Nina says she can’t go after him. She escaped, and can’t risk it. Obrecht says, the past is the past. She heard Nina says she saw Madeline recently, and Nina says she and Maxie went to show her pictures of James. Obrecht says that was generous, and Nina says it was Maxie’s idea. Of course she tried to manipulate them into speaking to the parole board, but who cares? She’s gone. Obrecht thought she’d outlive them all. I understand this. I had a very mean cat, and I was sure she’d outlive us all out of pure meanness. Nina says she died of a common heart attack. Obrecht thinks it’s strange. She had no history of heart disease, wasn’t overweight, didn’t smoke, and it doesn’t run in the family. There must be more to it.

Anna tells Valentin not to think Cassandra has any warm feelings for him or Nina. He needs to watch his back. She says if he hears anything, like Cassandra is around, let her know. He says he hopes she offers the same courtesy. She says she can tell Nina, but he says he’ll do that. She was under the impression they weren’t speaking, but he says, things have funny way of changing when you least expect it.

Brick shows Sonny a phone that uses pictures instead of numbers to make a call. He says it will cut the confusion. It’s not necessary to remember names or numbers. He has to see if his guys are finished installing the alarm, and Sonny thanks him, especially for helping with his father. Brick knows it’s not easy. He tells Sonny to know he’s there for him, and leaves. Carly wants to do something nice to thank him for making life easier for Mike – for a while. Sonny asks if she thinks he’s getting worse day by day.

Griff sees Anna at the MetroCourt. They agree they have catching up to do, and Anna asks if she should come by GH. He says he won’t be there; he’s been suspended. She asks, what for?

Kristina sees Kiki in the park. She says med school must be insane. Kiki says it has its ups and downs. Kristina says she recently relocated, and Kiki asks, what about Parker? Kristina says it’s a long story, and asks if Kiki worked it out with Dylan. Kiki says, hell no, and Kristina says at least she’s on track with her profession. Kiki asks if she wants to go to breakfast.

Julian tells Ava that Sonny is trying to ruin his expansion plans. He has his hands in other people’s pockets. Whatever the outcome, he’s steering clear of Sonny. She says it’s not a question of if he comes for them, but when. He doesn’t need another excuse to want him gone.

Mike tells Stella that he doesn’t know exactly what happened, but it can’t be as bad as she’s making out. There’s got to be a way to make it better. Apologize. Stella says sometimes the wrong is too great. It won’t bring her nephew back. Mike thought they were talking about her. She wishes Jordan would let Curtis go to find someone deserving. Mike says they have a term in incarceration – desperation stakes. The last race on your card; your last chance to score. You ask yourself how much you’re going to risk on your one last shot. She says she reached out to Curtis’s old girlfriend. Mike asks if it was worth it. Was it that important? She has to be willing to face the consequences, and you when play desperation stakes, you can walk away flat broke and in tears.

Curtis tells Jordan not to make trouble. Has she forgotten last year? She says she’s already in trouble. She wants to redirect Stella’s attention to the one that got away. She has a lead; he lives there. Curtis says he didn’t see that coming, and she says, neither will Stella. She’ll check him out, and if he’s clean, she thinks he might want to get back in touch.

Nina tells Obrecht that her mother is gone; she can’t hurt anyone she loves, including her. Obrecht says she’s truly sorry Madeline was not a good mother, or human being. She’s grateful Nathan had her to love him. Nina is grateful she had him too. He gave her more love than the one in the casket. Madeline gave her guidelines on how not to be as a mother. She wanted desperately to be a mother. Obrecht says she’s seen Nina and Charlotte. She thinks Nina accomplished her desire. Nina thanks her, and tells her to go before Maxie gets back. She asks if Obrecht needs help getting out of town, but Obrecht says she’s done it before. She expects it will be easier this time, unless she runs into any wayward girls to slow her down again.

Carly tells Sonny they’re trying to prepare, so he can enjoy precious time with his father. Sonny says she’s making it sound like time is slipping away, and she says, it is. He has to make every minute count.

Maxie returns, and Obrecht hides in her hoodie. Nina says the woman was offering kind words. She gives Obrecht money, and says that should get her off the street. She tells Obrecht to take care of herself. Obrecht shuffles out. Maxie asks what she said, and Nina says, the usual. Maxie has to go, and asks if Nina wants to come. Nina says there’s nothing for her there. They start to leave, and Valentin walks in.

Anna and Griff sit at a table in the MetroCourt. Anna asks if he knew Peter was Henrik. Griff says Peter asked to be tested for Huntington’s disease, and she’d told him Faison suffered from the same thing. He took it upon himself to run the DNA test. He breached patient privilege and confidentiality. He confronted Peter, but he didn’t know he was her son. If he had, he would have come to her. He asks if his father knew, but Anna says she never told anyone. She thought the child was safe, and it was better that way. It doesn’t do any good to look back, but she wishes she’d made a different choice.

Carly tells Sonny that she’s not giving up on Mike. Whatever Sonny decides, she’s there with him. Sonny knows, and doesn’t think he should put Mike in a facility at this stage. It would break Mike’s heart, but he has to consider that Mike can’t keep track of things. If he says the wrong thing to the wrong person, he could incriminate Sonny. What started in Croton is stowed away in Port Charles at Charlie’s.

Julian asks Mike how his number one customer is. He tells Stella that he must be doing something right, or it’s because Mike used to be pals with Charlie. He knows the lore about the place. Stella says, if walls could talk, and Mike says, the way things are going, they might have to. Mike insists on paying.

Kiki and Kristina come into Charlie’s. Kristina wonders if they’re hiring. Kiki asks Kristina to get a table, and approaches Ava. She says Avery is starting school tomorrow, and Ava says Kiki no longer has a place in Avery’s life. Kiki asks if Ava hears herself. She can hate her, but there’s no reason to rob her little sister. Ava says she’s a liar, a traitor, and a whore. She’s a bad example. That’s all the reason she needs.

Anna doesn’t understand how Monica found out, but Griff says that’s a story to be told over drinks. Today, he has to look for a new apartment. Anna says he can stay with her, and he says he’ll think about it.

Ava tells Kiki, run along, and Kiki says, gladly. She’ll see Avery tomorrow at school. Ava tells her not to show up there, but Kiki says she’s not asking permission; she’s giving a heads up. She can’t keep her away from her sister. She has an excellent relationship with Sonny, and he said she can see Avery when she wants. Kiki tells Kristina she’s lost her appetite, and leaves, which is pretty rude, since she’s the one who was hungry. Julian asks how Kristina is doing. She tells him she needs to see the owner. He asks why, and she tells him it’s none of his business, but she’s looking for a job. He says it is his business. He’s the owner.

Mike is back, and Sonny says he’ll be right there. He tells Carly that Julian has a petition coming up. If it’s not turned down, he could be in trouble. Mike did it to protect him, but if they uncover the body, it could be the thing that finally takes him down. Mike overhears.

Curtis tells Jordan that he doesn’t know when he’ll be done at Riker’s. He’s supposed to meet a prisoner who’s been convicted of selling babies. She says a phone call from a police commissioner might help speed things along.

Nina asks why Valentin is there. He says he’s there for her, but she says she doesn’t need him there. He’s sorry he missed the eulogy. Nina says she’ll give him the abbreviated version. Here lies Madeline Reeves. All she did was take. Time, joy, lives, potential. He says she did something right. She brought Nina into the world, and she brought up Nathan. Nina says, thank God for that. Nina and Maxie leave, and Valentin says Madeline had her chance.

Curtis calls Valentin, and tells him Attorney Buckley isn’t at Riker’s. He’s been released. Valentin says it’s only been two years, and Curtis says it’s a compassionate release. He’s been sent home to his family to die.

Valentin talks to Madeline’s casket, saying that she was a constant source of misery to Nina in life, but in death, she gave the greatest gift of all. Obrecht watches.

Tomorrow, Nina gets a box from her mother’s lawyer, Sam asks about Oscar, and Mike wants to clean it up for good this time.

The Shahs of Sunset

MJ and assistant Sienna visit wedding planner Lenora, along with MJ’s dogs. Tommy is in Atlantic City having his bachelor party. They’re four weeks away, but the week before isn’t counted, and the wedding planner says it’s like tomorrow. The bridal bath is this weekend. MJ explains that it’s a get together for the bride and groom, and both their friends to have a fabulous day. She’s rented a beautiful house so they can get lit. It’s not going to be like a boring shower MJ looks over some linens for the tables, and they go over the bridal party. MJ says question is, if someone is giving her away or is she walking down the aisle by herself. She wants her dad to tell her what he wants. I had this same quandary, and decided on my sister walking with me. True story. When my father died, I was in the midst of planning the wedding. On the day he died, that morning before we got the news, a friend had asked me what I’d do in that position. Cue Twilight Zone music. Lenora says if she goes by herself, it says no one can replace her dad, and his energy is with her. She asks if Tommy has someone, but MJ says he doesn’t. Lenora calls Tommy anyway. She says she hasn’t even met him yet, and is disappointed that he’s not there. He’s barely coherent. In her interview, MJ says it seems like being forced to go through it. He has to step it up and keep his eye on the prize.

GG visits Nema at his job. He owns a digital media company that creates content for social media. He introduces her to his partners. She talks about still doing chemo for her arthritis, but she began using cannabis and it’s done a lot for her. She’s the sole owner of a cannabis product company, and just partnered with a manufacturer. She says it’s now barely legalized in California, there’s potentially large profit. It’s also an opportunity to help other people, so why not turn it into a job? She needs a marketing company yesterday, and Nema tells her that he can put massive eyeballs on her product. He tells his partners that he wants her treated like family. In his interview, he says part of it is that she’s hot, but he does want to help. Maybe she’ll make millions, and if they get married, he gets half in the divorce. She’s also working on sexual lubrications, and he says that’s an angle, although different than he would have gone. He wants her to pitch it to their version of Shark Tank. In her interview, she says she’s turned on by Nema taking control. He’s all up on her jock, so he’ll make sure he does everything good and then some. He shows her where they would film.

Reza visits Sheree, the haircare mogul, and her husband Dan. Sheree explains that one of their dog’s hair color is fading, so she’s not fashionable right now. In his interview, Reza says she’s the chemist, owner, and developer of several haircare lines, including Bedhead. She explains that champagne is one of the ingredients in the new line. It has the same ph. as apple cider vinegar. Reza says he’s been having fun making shampoo and designing bottles. He wants the packaging to be eye-catching, and make you wonder what’s inside. Like how he packages himself.  Dan wants to discuss percentages of ownership. Reza brought a $500K check. He says he’s taking a big risk; it’s everything for him. In his interview, he says it’s terrifying, thinking this could go down the tubes. He knows Adam will be upset. We flash back to them visiting the fertility specialist. He say hopefully, this will pay off and they can afford biological twins, and have income for life. Dan offers 50%, and Reza says he’s Dan’s bitch. Dan says they’ll be laughing in Tahiti one day while sipping champagne. Reza says from his mouth to God’s ears.

Destiney is hosting an event for a client who sells exotic cars. She creates amazing events so her client’s clients spend money. GG says it’s the type of party that Hollywood socialites who have money to spend usually go to. Destiney is excited to see her and Shervin. GG asks if Alex is coming, and Destiney says she invited him. Everyone talks about how good MJ looks. She asks how Destiney’s date went. In her interview, MJ says Destiney looks happy and busy, and that means she likes him. Destiney tells GG, unless she’s buying it, don’t touch the car.

Destiney calls Alex. In her interview, she says she’s not bitter that he didn’t show up. MJ says, don’t flake. Say you died in a plane crash, but don’t just not show up. Destiney calls and gets voicemail. MJ takes the phone and says they’re glad he showed his true colors, so they don’t have to bother with a POS. Destiney is like, my hero, and they toast to Destiney’s heart being open and her wall being down. Insert joke here.

Mike meets his brothers at an apartment complex where they have an investment property. He tells Morgan to wait in the car while they talk shop. They think they can make some money, but their mom is the brains behind the properties the own, and being a naysayer. Mike thinks they can do it, and wants to make the family proud, as well as set them up for the future. Mikes brothers ask about Morgan, but Mike says he’s not in a rush.

MJ reminds Tommy about the bridal bath tomorrow, and tells him it’s co-ed. He asks if they’re hosing everyone down, and says he’ll probably be late, since he has to work. In her interview, MJ says the angel in her wants to be the whimsical, easy-breezy bride, but the devil wants to rip Tommy’ balls out of his pants. He hasn’t contributed anything to the wedding day. She shows him the crocheted dress she’s wearing, and he says he see what she’s thinking in it. She says Javid Shah, and he’s like, huh? She says Javid is her last name, and means long live, so she was saying, long live the king. She can’t believe he doesn’t know these things.

Everyone gets ready for the bridal bat. MJ is most excited about the spa services. Nema thinks two hours in a car with GG is a big step. In her interview, GG says every woman should have an 800 number to call and get a Nema there to give her ego a boost. He asks if she’s dating. She laughs, and says, no; her mind hasn’t been there. He says he wasn’t normal after he got divorced. He was exhausted. In his interview, he says he met his ex at a party, and immediately said he was marrying her. The sex great, but eight years later, divorce was the only thing possible. On his descent to hell, he lost fifty pounds, and gained $10K in therapy bills. GG says there may or may not be someone of interest.

In another car, Vida points out that Mona is addicted to her phone. It’s a big problem with all of them. They can’t spend five minutes without looking at it. She says,  Mona doesn’t even have an important job. They pretend they’re in a twelve-step meeting, and Vida says, just say no. Which is pretty funny for Vida.

Adam can’t wait for when he gets to bring their kids to work. In his interview, Reza feels bad. This is what he gets for marrying a sweet, white boy from Oklahoma. If he’d married another Persian, they’d be high fiving. MJ asks if they’re going for twins, and Reza says, the money has to be in the bank.

Nema and GG go to a sex toy store called Not So Innocent. GG explains she’s getting a shower gift, so she wants it silly, because the bride’s mom will be there. The clerk uses something that looks like a pizza wheel on her arm, and she seems to like it. In her interview, GG says you should always stop at a sex store with a guy, so he fantasizes about you using the merchandise. Does Cosmo know about this? She’s all about game. In his interview, Nema says he doesn’t have any of that stuff, but has to pretend he’s Captain Sex Shop. It’s a Golnessa Jedi mind trick. GG says she’s teasing the hell out of him, but it’s only fun.

MJ checks in, and Sienna meets her with a cocktail. A private chef is there, and Reza is impressed. In her interview, MJ explains that it’s not your average bridal party. It’s a day of papering for all of them to enjoy. She’s a person who thinks of others. Reza checks out the makeup station, and wants a smoky eye. The heroin smoky eye; he wants to go all out. In his interview, he says the Persian Jew in him likes the free services, and he might get discovered. He tells MJ that his mother would be proud. MJ loves it.

Everyone arrives, and the DJ sets up. MJ wants her mom to get drunk. In her interview, MJ says Vida can hang; people love her. MJ thanks everyone for coming. She says, hopefully the guy smart enough to put a ring on it, will be approaching. In the meantime, turn it up. Mike insists everyone drink, including the staff. They toast to MJ. She says if they’re not drunk, they’re disinvited to the wedding. The DJ starts working, an some of the guests get in the pool. GG comes out in a bathing suit with a cover-up. In her interview, she says, rule number two. Make sure he’s watching as you reveal your bathing suit. Just sayin’.

MJ thanks Vida for being strong for her and Shams. She was there for her before he passed, and during. It’s just them. She feels good about future, and Vida does too. She says they’ll remember Shams always, and she’s sure he’s looking at them now, and thinks she looks beautiful. In her interview, MJ says Vida is being being motherly and nurturing, and making her feel protected and safe. Look what beautiful gifts lie in their garden of loss.

MJ has had it up to here with Tommy. She’s sure she’s the best thing that’s happened to him. Fingers crossed they make it. Tommy finally gets there, two hours late, telling her the traffic was bad. He says he’s not going in the water. In her interview, MJ gets it. He’s had a long drive and it’s a work day. He’s not really into it, but fake it. She deserves better right now. MJ comes out in her bathing suit. Tommy says she looks like a smokin’ hot Dorito. He hates seeing her leave, but loves to watch her go. He tells her no way is he going in the pool.

GG invites Nema and Mona to her Persian New Year celebration. In his interview, Nema says it’s critical that he earn Persian street cred, and it’s a cool opportunity to spend time with GG. They talk about a tradition of jumping over a fire, and leaving the negative behind. Mike and Morgan talk to Destiney about finding someone. Morgan tells her that she can’t find a perfect guy, she’ll have to put up with some flaws. In her interview, Destiney says she knew nothing in her twenties, and feels like she’s getting advice from Kourtney Kardashian, and does a great imitation of her saying, you have to totally give them a chance.

Reza says, google this sh*t. The most stressful things are moving, getting married, and a death. MJ and Tommy just moved, they’re planning wedding, and her dad just died. You can’t expect them not to bicker. MJ and Tommy sit in a private area. MJ knows he doesn’t want a ring. He says it’s too annoying. In her interview, she says ever since he proposed, he said he won’t wear a ring, but gets pissed when she doesn’t wear hers. He suggests a tattoo, and jokes around about getting on in emojis. MJ gets pissed, and asks why he’s being like this, and does he even want to get married? He says he was just joking. In her interview, MJ says this is showing her what marriage is going to mean. He has a history, and has anger. She wants to be compassionate, but struggles. This is odd, because she’s the only one who seems angry. He just seems tired. And he always acts stupid.

It’s time to open presents. MJ puts on her crocheted dress. When she opens GG’s gifts, GG says she thought it was more of a bachelorette thing. She got them a bell to ring for a BJ, and suction cup handcuffs. Reza tries to demonstrate with MJ, and Vida asks what they’re doing. In her interview, MJ says if a mom doesn’t protest, she’s sleeping on the job. Vida doesn’t like encouraging this demonstration, and somehow Shervin gets singled out for being the troublemaker. Everyone is like, it’s all his fault. It’s kind of funny.

Trainer Craig doesn’t want to ignore the enormous loss. MJ gets weepy, saying when she lost her father, she didn’t know what she’d do every day, but Sienna was there. Tommy says Sienna gets paid, and MJ calls him an idiot. He says MJ gives her a paycheck, and MJ tells him to STFU. Why is she even marrying him? He says he doesn’t know. What’s wrong with her? It’s awkward, and seems like people don’t know whether to laugh or get pissed. MJ says she stands on her own, and she’s lucky to have them. Tommy feels same way. I shrug. They toast Shams. In her interview, Destiney knows the love is there, but in this case, it’s a little dangerous, no? I’m not quite sure what she means by that.

Next time, the party continues, GG has her ring appraised, Persian New Year is celebrated, and Reza tells Adam about the business.

The Real Housewives of Dallas

Still at Beaver Creek, everyone gets it together from the night before. LeeAnne asks D’Andra what fun did she miss? D’Andra explains how Kameron felt left out when she discovered that Brandi adopted a baby, and then Stephanie got upset and told her to stop bashing Brandi for adopting a baby, which really got Kameron steamed. LeeAnne wonders why Kameron thinks she and Brandi are that close. D’Andra says it got to the point where Kameron wanted Stephanie out of her house. LeeAnne says this is exactly why she didn’t want to drink with them. Alcohol related tragedy.

Kameron tells Cary that Stephanie claimed she was bashing an adopted child. She lost her temper, and that was wrong, but the words Stephanie chose were unacceptable. Cary says hurt feelings can be avoided if the conversation doesn’t escalate. When she keeps talking and pressing, it escalates. Kameron thinks Cary is protecting Stephanie, and there’s no excuse.

Brandi thanks Stephanie for standing up for her. Stephanie says she never said Kameron was bashing an adopted baby; she said not to bash Brandi for how she decided to present it. Kameron heard something different in her head, and won’t let it go. Brandi is sorry Kameron was mean to Stephanie. In her interview, Brandi says it’s mixing the alcohol with feelings. Stephanie thinks dealing with Kameron is like running in circles; it’s like Groundhog Day.

Kameron never heard of anyone keeping a baby a secret. Apparently, Kameron hasn’t been around much. She doesn’t know why Brandi chose to do it. Cary is like, stop; it’s her choice. In her interview, Cary says Kameron can’t let things go. Last year, it was not getting gift from Brandi. We see clips of Kameron complaining about Brandi giving some of the other girls gifts in front of her – ad nauseum. Cary asks, why won’t it end? She tells Kameron if she doesn’t get the answer she wants, don’t continue. Kameron asks if she should never question people, and Cary says save it for later. At another time, say she didn’t get it, and needs clarity. Kameron asks what her time limit is, and Cary says she’s doing it now, asking the same question again.

D’Andra says wants to talk to Brandi, and see if they’re in a good place. LeeAnn wonders if she has to be so direct; it’s not funny. D’Andra is going to wait, so she can have another day of peace.

Kameron feels icky. She messed up for saying Stephanie should leave. She wants to be the bigger person, and hopes next time they have cocktails, better words are chosen. The girls get in the limo bus to go snowmobiling. It’s quiet, and Brandi finally says she got emotional because she didn’t understand what was happening and felt targeted. Kameron says that’s just crazy. Brandi says Kameron made it about herself, and she hasn’t cried that hard since she was a kid. Kameron says she felt left out and confused, and had questions. She was feeling hurt, but also thinks too many drinks might have contributed. She doesn’t want Brandi to cry. She’s happy for her, and it’s amazing. She doesn’t think there’s anything wrong with Brandi personally, but she wasn’t bashing the baby the way Stephanie said. In her interview, Stephanie says Kameron doesn’t know what she’s talking about, but she needs to get off the hamster wheel. Even though that’s not what she said, she’s keeping quiet. D’Andra says Brandi misunderstood what Kameron said. Kameron says Stephanie’s words were inappropriate (her favorite word), but D’Andra says she can’t just hear what want to. She thinks Kameron is reading more into it than what’s really there. LeeAnne says she’s focusing on the words, and not the intention. The intention should be what spike things, not the words. In her interview, Cary can’t believe LeeAnne is being the voice of reason. She asks if ice skating in hell is on the itinerary.

They get to snowmobile place. In her interview, Kameron says she put a lot of time into the itinerary. She’s not throwing it out the first day. Everyone gets whatever gear they need for snowmobiling, and the guide gives them instructions. Kameron says they think she’s a delicate snowflake, but she’s an avalanche of fun. LeeAnne and D’Andra, Cary and Kameron, and Stephanie and Brandi pair up. In her interview, Stephanie admits to not being a good driver. She had to be put on company insurance because her personal insurance would no longer carry her. She’s getting a Scooby Doo mini-van if she has one more accident. LeeAnne says, people die on mountains.

They stop at 12,000 feet, and the guide calls it almost the top of the world. It’s an amazing view, and everyone looks around. D’Andra asks Brandi if their okay with their stuff. Brandi doesn’t like that D’Andra was spreading rumors, and takes it personally. Why wouldn’t D’Andra come to her if she thought Brandi had a problem? D’Andra says it was taken out of context and perceived wrong. D’Andra says she made a mistake. It was about herself; she also has ADD, but takes a different medication for that. In her interview, Brandi understands now why D’Andra would be worried about abuse of the drug. Brandi hopes D’Andra can come to her. She wants to openly communicate. She says D’Andra has a good heart, and doesn’t want to be in a negative space with her. D’Andra says she’ll think about what she says in the future, and they make snow angels to show they’re moving on. LeeAnne says, thank you, Jesus. They head back.

At the snowmobile place, they have a shot. LeeAnne has been keeping herself out of harm’s way, but feels more comfortable than she ever has with them. She’s earned a cocktail. Kameron says at this altitude, you can eat all you want and not gain weight, since you burn calories constantly. Nice try. They have a discussion on if they would eat a friend if they were lost and starving. We find out LeeAnne would eat Stephanie with lots of ketchup, Stephanie thinks she’d taste like filet mignon since she’s so sweet and tender, and Cary thinks LeeAnne would taste like veal, but be the hardest to kill. They have another shot. D’Andra and Brandi create the spitfire by mixing things together. Kameron says this is the moment she was hoping to have with them all getting along. They do a spirit cheer on the bus.

Brandi calls her mom, who took the kids to Target, where there was a major meltdown. Brandi sends hugs and kisses, and tells her if she needs to have a breakdown, it’s okay. She had one last night, but they’ll talk about it later.

Two hours later, everyone is dancing around. Brandi takes D’Andra’s shoes off and pretends to suck her toes. In her interview, D’Andra feels like she’s back in college with her girlfriends, leaving her cares behind. She dances on the chair.

Stephanie says it’s an amazing trip, but she misses her family, and wants to experience Italy with them. She can’t get there fast enough. Wth, her coat? It has gold metal squares hanging off of it. No, just no. Brandi tells her that things amped up after she went to bed. LeeAnne told D’Andra that she was the queen, but D’Andra thought she was, and they got in an argument over who was queen of their group. She gives Stephanie an animated account. In her interview, Stephanie says it’s the dumbest thing she’s ever heard of – fifty-year-old women fighting over an imaginary crown. Brandi thinks they should have a pageant.

Kameron is giving everyone a free day. In her interview, she says everyone is getting along perfectly, so she’s unleashing them. The only requirement is to show up for dinner. Stephanie has to leave, and Brandi asks to talk to Kameron. She tells her about the pageant idea. In her interview, Kameron is honored and privileged that Brandi asked her to be co-judge. She officially likes her.

Cary goes skiing. Brandi and D’Andra have a shot. In her interview, LeeAnne says there’s been a shift in Brandi and D’Andra being best buddies, and can be explained by one simple river – alcohol. D’Andra and Brandi go to town. Brandi feels like their headed in the right direction. D’Andra is glad got past it. They go shopping, and have tequila shots in one of the stores. Wow. Can I go shopping there?

Kameron and LeeAnne have a massage. Kameron says they have different boundaries, but she has to accept Brandi for who she is.

D’Andra and Brandi make plans to go to the rodeo. D’Andra tells a guy making hats that they didn’t like each other before the trip. They have another shot. In her interview, Brandi says D’Andra is even more fun than LeeAnne. She’s glad she can be that friend. In her interview, D’Andra says Brandi having fun and not caring what anyone thinks is freeing for her. She aspires to have fun and not care.

LeeAnne is freaking out that D’Andra and Brandi are out together. She’s concerned it will go horribly bad. If they become besties, glory be to God, but if D’Andra gets turned on, LeeAnne wants her to know she’ll be by her side.

Brandi and D’Andra pick out jewelry. D’Andra wants a $2000 necklace, but has already spent $4700. If she separates her company from her mother’s, she needs all the money she can get. She forgoes the necklace.

It’s the last night, and they go to a beautiful cabin restaurant that has a buffet. Kameron usually doesn’t do buffets, since she makes bad eating decisions and wants to try everything. She has to be cautious. At the table Brandi says last night the was a fight to be queen of the castle. LeeAnne says it was more like two friends defending their emotional stances. Brandi has a way to solve the problem – have a pageant. LeeAnne says it wouldn’t be fair, since she has the advantage. D’Andra asks if she gets a head start. We see pictures of LeeAnne in several pageants, including Miss USA, not looking like the LeeAnne of today. Brandi starts with questions, and asks LeeAnne if there’s something she likes to do with her hands. LeeAnne says, she can pray with them. Cary (I think) quietly says she can strangle people with them, cracking Brandi up. To her credit, LeeAnne takes it on the chin, and says she can reach out to others. If they don’t lift each other up, it’s not worth it. She adds that she can hold someone’s hand to treat them like a human. In her interview, Cary says LeeAnne is like a whole other person; it’s amazing.

D’Andra uses a fork as a mic. Brandi asks if there’s an unpleasant smell, does she call the person out or keep it to herself. D’Andra says even if there’s an inappropriate odor in the air, she doesn’t like to make people uncomfortable, especially if they’re gaseous. In her interview, Brandi says D’Andra found the key to her heart. Next, Brandi says the contestants are to ask each other a question. D’Andra asks if LeeAnne thinks she’s happily married. LeeAnne says she does, and D’Andra asks why LeeAnne doesn’t think she could be happily married like she is. She wonders why LeeAnne isn’t pushing for a wedding date. LeeAnne says being blinded has been difficult for Rich. He’s not in a happy place, and she’s being patient.

D’Andra says she’s confused, and thinks LeeAnne is skirting the issue. In her interview, D’Andra says Rich has been married before, and her fear is that he gave LeeAnne a ring to shut her up. Kameron says they’ll get married when it’s the right time, and D’Andra says, it’s been nine years. She thinks LeeAnne is scared to set a date. LeeAnne says she’s happy in her life, and she’ll get married when she gets married. It’s no one’s business. Cary says they’re just asking; be honest. LeeAnne says the reason is her. She’s been single for fifty years, and Rich has been married three times. She doesn’t doubt he’s her soulmate, but she doesn’t want to put him in a position to hate and divorce her. Cary doesn’t want her to think she’ll sabotage something; she’s better than that. LeeAnne says Rich has accepted divorce as an option. Cary says she was cheated on in her first marriage, and she couldn’t be with him; but it led her to her soulmate, and the person she was meant to be with. D’Andra says when she asked if LeeAnne wants to get married and asked if she loved him, she said she didn’t want it to fail again. D’Andra thinsk thre’s something LeeAnne isn’t telling her. LeeAnne says there is, but not right now. D’Andra says if they love each other, why won’t she say what it is. In her interview, D’Andra thinks that LeeAnne is embarrassed that Rick is backtracking, and thinks it will be less embarrassing if she says it’s her. LeeAnne looks like she might cry.

Brandi says it’s about them and their decision, and holds LeeAnne as the crying dam finally breaks. D’Andra thinks LeeAnne is afraid. One of LeeAnne’s eyelashes falls off, and Cary says, let a nurse do it; she has glue. She’s hoping they note her abilities, as well as that she’s a caring person. Brandi tells LeeAnne that whenever she decides, let them know, and they’ll plan a big party. In her interview, D’Andra says something else is going on, but she’s letting it go for tonight.

The next day, Cary is flying to Jackson Hole to meet Mark and Zuri for spring break. I get confused, since she and Mark are too old for that, and Zuri is like, three. Kameron says before they crown the queen, they need the talent portion. In her interview, Kameron says the pageant shut down last night because the contestants’ questions got out of hand, but today, they’re back on it. D’Andra says she’s been practicing hard for many years. She can hold a quarter in her butt and drop it into a glass. Ooh, it’s a tiny paper cup, which makes that even more impressive. LeeAnne does a rap, and everyone applauds. The crown goes to D’Andra, whose butt clinching clinched the competition. Kameron is shocked that she’s been keeping her talent a secret. In her interview, Kameron says she would have expected that talent from Brandi or Stephanie. That’s not D’Andra’s usual behavior. The ladies head out.

Next time, mechanical bull riding, LeeAnne asks if Rich really wants to get married, and Brandi says LeeAnne is coming between friendships again.

🎠 You Know What’s Here…

🐣 And Just Because…