What I Watched Today
(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)
I was editing during a tornado warning. Watch? Whichever the bad one is. So please forgive any gaffes.
General Hospital
Sonny wonders why Carly can’t admit the lunch he made is better than frozen pizza. She says she loved every bite, but there isn’t anything much better than frozen pizza. Jax walks in, and says she loved it when she was pregnant. She says she didn’t know he was coming over, and he says he thought they should talk while Josslyn is in school. They need to figure out how to do this without killing each other.
Lulu delivers food to Maxie at Crimson. Maxie says she’s so swamped, she forgot to get breakfast. She’s doing a feature on tie dye gowns. It’s back. Lulu says, groovy. She tells Maxie that if she wasn’t eating with her, she’d be eating at her desk alone. Maxie asks if she’s working on anything interesting. Lulu says, the return to the single lady lifestyle.
At the MetroCourt, Sasha tells Nina that her feet hurt from wearing heels, and her head hurts. She had coffee and Ibuprofen for breakfast. Actual food will be good. Nina says Maxie is holding down the fort at Crimson, so they can have a leisurely lunch. She tells Sasha it looks like she and Michael were having fun at the Nurses Ball, and Sasha says Michael is a lot of fun. Nina says too bad he deserted her for Willow.
Michael stops by Willow’s classroom. He says he was there to speak to his cousin Jake’s class for Career Day. It’s going to be his fallback career, He wanted to stop by to see how she was doing. She says she’s kind of a mess. Things got tense last night. Lucas and brad know that Wiley is her son. It’s only a matter of time before Shiloh finds out.
Sam and Jason go to Shiloh’s hospital room. Shiloh asks if they found the Pledges. Sam says they were where he said they’d be. He asks why they’re there. Does it please Sam to see him like that? She says, quite a bit actually. Jason says, this is only the beginning.
Alexis says, the secret Kristina gave Shiloh is about her? Kristina says she’s so, so sorry.
Jax tells Carly and Sonny, in some ways, now Josslyn will deal with the most difficult part of grief; going back to normal. The memorials are over, and the big gestures have been made, and she has to go on with life without Oscar. Carly says Josslyn is emotionally raw, but she thinks it’s good that she’s getting out. Sonny says Josslyn made it clear she doesn’t want them walking on eggshells. Jax says the more they check in on her, the more she feels obligated to reassure them, instead of walking in her own feelings. Carly says she offered to take Josslyn to grief counseling, but she flat out refused. Jax says if she starts acting out, they can revisit that, but it’s more important that the three of them work together to help her. Sonny asks why they wouldn’t, and Jax says Sonny despises him, and the feeling is mutual. It’s easier to keep a truce when he’s on the other side of the planet, but that’s no longer the case. Besides Josslyn, he has other business to keep him there.
Maxie asks since when is Lulu a single lady, and Lulu says, since this assignment. She’s posing as single on dating apps. Maxie asks if something happened with her and Dante, but Lulu says, nothing has happened on that front. Maxie asks why her editor is having her troll dating apps; is it a tell all? Lulu says, it’s actually a crime story. Has she heard about the recent burglaries? Women are being robbed while their out on a date they were matched with online. The burglar figures out where they live, and robs them while they’re waiting for their date. She’s trying the same apps, and hopefully, they can catch him. Maxie thinks it’s fluffy for an investigative reporter. On the other hand, it could have a major impact on Lulu’s personal life. I just have to mention that for an investigative reporter, Lulu is also using the wrong wording. She’s mixing burglary with robbery. The former is breaking and entering; the latter is stealing from an actual person. I know this because I was burgled years ago.
Nina tells Sasha that Michael is a Corinthos, but he’s also a Quartermaine. She thinks he should exhibit manners and class. Sasha stops her, saying they didn’t plan on attending together. Michael found her stalled, trying to psyche herself to walk the red carpet alone. He went with her, and then they stayed together. Nina says, until Willow got deserted by her date, the cop. Sasha says Michael owed her nothing, and she wasn’t offended; she was impressed. He’s a great guy, and if things were different… Nina says, what things? Sasha says she’s not in the right place for a serious relationship. She wants to figure out her career first. She might not even be in Port Charles months from now. She loves it there, but if the right job came along… Nina says she wouldn’t be close to Michael somewhere else. Sasha says that she and Michael aren’t serious, but Nina says she could be open to possibilities.
Willow apologizes to Michael for pulling him away from Sasha. He says Sasha completely understood, but she feels bad for ruining his night. He tells her that she can make it up to him by letting him help her. She doesn’t have to solve this on her own. The more allies she has, the more she’s in a position to keep Wiley safe from Shiloh. She says, Shiloh is relentless. If he finds out, he’ll stop at nothing until he gets custody.
Sam tells Shiloh that she’s glad she went back. It was tough, seeing the table where he almost raped her, because she was too drugged up to fight him off. Then she had a crystal clear image of Jason ripping him off of her, and throwing him down the stairs like garbage. It feels good, knowing he’s the helpless one. Shiloh says he gave them what they wanted, but Jason says, too late. He messed with the wrong people. His best option is to get a lawyer, and cut a deal. He might be safer in prison – or not. They leave. Shiloh broods angrily.
Kristina tells Alexis that she can’t believe she did this. Alexis tells her, whatever she said, they’ll deal with it. Kristina says she didn’t mean for it… Alexis says, of course (🍷) she didn’t; she was manipulated. Kristina says she still chose do it, and sell Alexis out to impress Shiloh, and further herself in DOD. She doesn’t know if Alexis can forgive her. Alexis says nothing Kristina does is unforgivable; at least not to her. Kristina says Alexis doesn’t know what she told him. Alexis says, tell her what was in the Pledge.
Sasha tells Nina that she and Michael agreed to have fun and keep it casual. Nina asks Sasha to hear her out. Sasha is beautiful, strong, and confident. Michael likes that. He likes her, but he’s a sucker for a victim. Willow could give a master class in that. She’s a fragile flower, and Michael needs to rescue her. Sasha says she thought Nina didn’t like Willow because she overstepped as a teacher. Nina says, she’s unfair to Charlotte, blames her for every conflict, and gives Charlotte no benefit of the doubt. It drives her crazy. She needs to make sure Charlotte knows she’s not alone, and has someone by her side. Nina thinks she was triggered by a conversation she overheard about Willow giving up her baby for adoption. There’s nothing wrong with that, but she didn’t even tell the father. It triggered what her mother did to her, stealing Sasha away. Sasha says none of their stories are that simple. She’s sure Willow’s isn’t either. Nina wants Willow to give Charlotte the benefit of the doubt; maybe she should do the same for Willow.
Carly asks if the opportunity Jax mentioned is coming to fruition, and he says, it’s looking good. Carly says Josslyn will love having him there. Sonny asks if Jax is still looking for a place. Jax says Lucy is a chatterbox, but she’s shown him some places he likes. Kate’s place is still in the running. He’s sure they would love having him as a neighbor. Sonny says he’d love nothing more. Jason arrives, and Carly walks Jax out.
Jason tells Sonny that Shiloh was keeping the Pledges in the tower. He got them all. Sam is handling Kristina’s Pledge, but there’s another that might be of interest to Sonny. He gives Sonny the envelope with Margaux’s name on it.
Margaux visits Shiloh at the hospital. He starts to get up, but she says he’s not supposed to be doing that. He gets back in bed, saying he knows better than to go against the DA. How did she know he was there? She says she was concerned about him, and made some calls. What happened? He says, nothing, but she says, it doesn’t look that way. He says, it was just an accident; it was nothing. She asks if Sam or Jason were involved.
Kristina tells Alexis, Shiloh called it the gift, but he really want blackmail leverage. She can’t believe she fell for it. Alexis says, it’s okay, but Kristina says, it’s not. Shiloh was specific that it be something major that could do damage if it went public. Sam comes in, and says, it’s over. Kristina asks what she’s doing there, and what the envelope is. Did Shiloh give to her? Sam says, he did, but not willingly. She was never actually a part of DOD. It was just an act. Kristina says, oh my God, this entire time she was blaming herself for setting Sam up to be hurt by Shiloh, and Sam was lying to her. She asks if Alexis knew, and Alexis says she went along with the plan because she thought it was best for Kristina. Sam says she was worried about Kristina, and wanted to find out as much about Shiloh as she could to keep Kristina safe. Kristina says Sam stayed after Jason rescued her; why? Sam says, to get this, showing her the envelope.
Maxie asks Lulu if it isn’t too close to home; going on dates while Dante is away. Lulu says she’s just swiping right and setting a trap. Maxie thinks Lulu should talk to Peter. If she’s not comfortable with that, Maxie can. Lulu says she can’t keep asking favors from her boss. She’ll never be respected by her peers/ Maxie says if Lulu catches the creep who’s preying on the women, and Dante gets wind of it, it could be major incentive for him to come back home. That came out wrong. Lulu says she doesn’t want him to come home out of jealousy, but when he’s ready and healed. If that ever happens.
Michael tells Willow that he doesn’t know about that. She’s in a strong position, and should keep it that way. Diane is a helluva attorney, and a master at legal loopholes. She’s like family, and if she knows how fond he is of Willow, she won’t stop until she wins the case. She hopes it doesn’t get to that point. Michael doesn’t think it will. Willow can’t thank him enough for his support. She doesn’t know what she would have done without him last night. They hug. No surprise, Nina sees.
Carly thanks Jax for coming by, and being inclusive with Sonny. Jax says, it’s not just talk. They need to present a united front need to support Josslyn. Carly says Josslyn will have it, and Jax says, as long as he’s not deported again. She says, no excuses. Sonny was wrong, but Jax has been wrong too. Not as wrong, but maybe. Jax says, it’s a trap. Rehashing who did what is a war no one wins. It’s a losing game, and he doesn’t play to lose.
Sonny asks if Jason opened it, and Jason says he had to make sure it was legit. Margaux admitted she had proof that her mom conspired with Joe Skully to murder her father, and she covered up the crime. If Sonny wants leverage against the DA, he’s got it.
Shiloh asks what makes Margaux think Sam or Jason was involved? She says she ran into Sonny, and he had some interesting things say about Shiloh. Shiloh says, like what? and she says, pretty damning stuff. He tells her, consider the source. Sonny is a known criminal, who’s decided he’s the enemy, but what Sonny said apparently got under her skin. She says Sonny said Shiloh shouldn’t be trusted. Shiloh asks if she believes him.
Kristina asks how Sam got the Pledge. She didn’t even know where Shiloh kept them. Sam says he kept them in the records room at the DOD house, but he moved them to the tower for safekeeping. Alexis asks how Sam found them, and Sam says, Jason can be persuasive. Kristina asks if Jason was in on it this whole time. The breakup? Sam says, fake. Kristina says, it makes total sense looking back. After all Sam and Jason have been though, why would Sam leave him for a creep like Shiloh. And she bought it; what an idiot. Alexis tells her, stop saying that. She was subject to manipulation for months. Sam says they wanted to keep her safe, and Kristina says, so that’s it? Sam says they torched most of them, except Kristina’s. It’s up to her to choose what she wants to do with it.
Maxie wishes she could help Lulu, but Lulu says it’s not Maxie’s responsibility to make it better, and she’s doing plenty by being a friend. Maxie thanks Lulu for lunch. She’s scared to leave her desk, since she’s waiting for a budget something-or-other, but she’ll walk Lulu to the elevator. Lulu leaves, and Maxie calls Peter. She says she has her fingers crossed that Dante comes back, but wishes she could do something to make it right. She looks at her computer, and says, what?! She tells Peter it’s some idiot from the budget office. She’ll call him back. She makes a call to Tom in the budget department, and says, it’s clearly a mistake. She was transferring money from September to cover August. What does he mean? That can’t be right. Crimson is autonomous. She says, since when? She doesn’t believe it. She’s coming there, and he’s going to walk her through it, line by line.
Michael tells Willow, know that he’s there for her, and Willow thanks him. He leaves, and Nina sneaks back. She asks how it is every time she sees Willow, Willow is with Michael? Willow says, unbelievable. Is Nina stalking her now? Nina says, actually, no, and Willow asks what she wants. Nina says her daughter suggested she clear air about what happened. Willow asks if she’s there to apologize. She can start by admitting she was out of line. Nina asks how it is nothing is ever Willow’s fault? Willow bumped into her. Willow was having a phone conversation about her personal life at the Nurses Ball. Willow says if it makes Nina feel any better, Willow’s entire life has gone to hell thanks to her.
Carly tells Jax that she’s glad he’s staying, and don’t worry about Sonny. They’re all committed to getting along for Josslyn’s sake. He appreciates it. Carly goes back in, and Sonny asks if he’s gone. He’s going to call Lucy and make an offer on Connie’s property. He can tear down the wall, and make a guest house. Jason says it’s extra ground for security to cover, but Sonny says, it beats having Jax as a neighbor. Carly thought they were committed to getting along, but Sonny says, of all places, Jax is going to live next door? Carly suggests they take a break before making a huge real estate purchase. She asks Jason what happened with Shiloh, and Jason says he’s in the hospital. Jason got the Pledges. Sonny has to go, and Carly says Jason must be happy. Shiloh’s got no power anymore, so there’s no reason Jason and Sam can’t be together, right?
Kristina reads the paper, and says, it’s her Pledge. Alexis asks if she’s sure. Kristina says the flashdrive has her original recording. Shiloh transcribed it and had her sign it before what was supposed to be her initiation. Sam says it’s possible another copy exists, but Alexis says, Kristina has the original version. Anything else is hearsay. Sam says Kristina is free from Shiloh and DOD. Kristina asks what she should do with it, and Alexis says, whatever she wants. She can tell them, or never say another word, and they’ll respect her decision. Sam agrees. Kristina goes to the fireplace and sets it on fire. The three of them watch it burn.
Michael finds Sasha, and says he feels terrible for ditching her. She says he’s being too hard on himself. It’s not like they planned it. They decided at the last minute; not a big deal. HE says he still feels compelled to make it up to her. They agreed to be friends with benefits. She says, that doesn’t sound good, but he says, hear him out. He likes to get to know his friends. She asks if that wouldn’t make them strangers, and he says she’s not making this easy. She says he’s too cute when he’s flustered. He was wondering if she’d like to grab dinner tonight. She says, that sounds like a date, but he says, just two adults sitting across from each other eating food. She says, it sounds romantic, and he promises to order lot of garlic. Sasha says because they don’t want to risk developing feelings. Michael suggests they cross that bridge when they come to it. Sasha says, deal, and they shake hands.
Nina asks how she destroyed Willow’s life, and Willow says it’s none of her business. Nina asks if she’s thought of teaching theater. She has a flair for the dramatic. Willow asks if Nina came there to insult her, but Nina says she came talk to her about being involved with Michael. Whoa, wait. Didn’t she come there to give Willow the benefit of the doubt? Nina says, Willow literally can’t help herself. She sees Michael having great time with Sasha, but needs him in her back pocket, for when her boyfriend neglects her. Or maybe she’s more attracted to Michael’s bank account than the detective’s. Willow says she’s not defending her relation with Michael or anyone else. She turns to the blackboard, and ignores Nina. Nina says she doesn’t need to. She saw what she needed to see. She tells Willow, have a nice break. She’s assuming it will be a long one. I really wish Nina wasn’t acting like such a tool. I’ve always been on her side.
Carly tells Jason, it must have been torture, spending time apart from Sam. Jason says it wasn’t fun. Carly says she’s happy Kristina is safe, but now Jason needs to prioritize. He says he thought she was doing that for him. She says she is. He’s been home almost two years, and now nothing is standing in the way of him and Sam being together for the rest of their lives. He says he’ll keep it in mind, but there’s something he has to take care of. She says he’s avoiding the conversation, and he says, that too. They hug, and he leaves.
Sam takes Kristina’s hand. The doorbell rings. It’s Sonny, and Alexis steps outside to talk. He asks, what’s going on, and she says Sam brought Kristina’s Pledge. It’s currently burning. Sonny says it’s probably for the better. They’re in the clear, and it can’t be used anymore. Alexis doesn’t know the details, but the secret isn’t about him. It’s about her.
Kristina asks if Sam went through the initiation. Sam says, part of it. Nothing she can’t survive. Kristina doesn’t know how to thank her, and Sam says she doesn’t have to. Kristina is her sister, and she’d do anything for her. Sam holds her.
Margaux tells Shiloh that she’s not sure what to think. She wants to believe in him, but Sonny said he has proof Shiloh committed criminal acts. He showed her things in the attic when they crossed paths. Shiloh says, they crossed paths? and Margaux says Sonny called her, saying he needed her there; he was looking for Shiloh. He kept insisting that Shiloh was a con man and a criminal, and he had proof. Shiloh says, manufactured proof. No doubt Sonny is upset with him because he’s been more of a father figure to Kristina than Sonny ever has. He asks if she believes him, and she says, yeah. She just needed to hear it from him. She says she’ll let the DOD members know he’s okay. He says before she goes, there’s something else he needs from her.
Sam comes out, and hugs Sonny. He appreciates everything she’s done for Kristina. He asks if she thinks Kristina is up to seeing him, and Sam thinks she’d love to see him. He goes inside, and Sam says, says it’s over. They’ll never know what secret Kristina shared with that monster. Alexis says she may want tell them someday, but Sam says she wouldn’t push it. Whatever Kristina’s Pledge was, it’s gone. It can’t haunt them anymore.
Kristina runs to Sonny, and hugs him.
Margaux asks what Shiloh needs. He’d like to have faith, but Sonny’s lies are deep. Other people stand to lose. They can’t let Sonny’s manipulation of the authorities destroy everything they’ve worked so hard to build in Port Charles. She asks what he wants her to do. He says if Sonny ever turns over evidence, and makes those claims again, make sure it never sees the light of day.
Jason goes to Willow’s classroom, and introduces himself as Michael’s uncle. She says he just missed Michael, but he says he came to give her something. He hands her the Pledge envelope with her name on it. She says, my God, this is… He says, it’s hers – again. She asks how he found it, and he tells not to worry about that. All the Pledges were destroyed. Shiloh has nothing over her anymore. He starts to leave, and she asks why he gave this to her. He says because she put herself on the line for Kristina. That makes her a hero in his book.
Carly sees Sasha and Michael talking about dinner plans. Michael kisses Sasha, and she gets in elevator. Carly tells him that she’s not saying a word. He says she sure looks like she want to. She says she’s glad he’s getting back out there.
Nina stomps back to her office. She sees someone, and asks what they’re doing in her office. Jax says, to celebrate the beginning of a beautiful partnership.
Tomorrow, Jax tells Nina that he’s the new owner of Crimson, Alexis asks Lucas if the birth father knows, and Chase asks Willow what happened after he left the Nurses Ball.
The Real Housewives of New York City
Ooh! It’s Christmastime in NYC. LuAnn rehearses her Christmas show. In her interview she says she loves Christmas, and it’s everything to do a Christmas show. Sonja shows up, surprising LuAnn. In her interview, she says she was in the neighborhood. It must get boring being with the same entourage, and no girlfriends. Sonja starts off cracking everyone up, but then begins to get annoying. In LuAnn’s interview, she says Sonja won’t stop talking, and wonders what’s going on with her. LuAnn wants to include a joke about Dorinda getting a Jovani award. We see clips of the original Jovani incident. In Sonja’s interview, she says the whole thing started with LuAnn joking about Dorinda. Sonja advises against it, and LuAnn says Dorinda needs to get a sense of humor, and she’ll do what she wants. Alrighty then.
Dorinda goes to a tree lighting that’s not Rockefeller Center. She explains it’s smaller and more intimate, and by invite only. I don’t recognize the place, and she never actually says where it is. (I investigate later, and it seems to be at the Lotte New York Palace hotel. I’m guessing the courtyard, since it’s outside through the inside.) She says she was honored. It’s an iconic NY moment. The other women begin to join her. She asks if LuAnn is there, and Sonja says she saved Dorinda from being the butt of one of LuAnn’s cabaret jokes. In her interview, Dorinda says she spoke with a lawyer, and if LuAnn keeps it up, she’ll be hearing from him. Tinsley tells Sonja that LuAnn said she was manic, and wondered if she was on something. Sonja says LuAnn has been diva-like. In Sonja’s interview, she says, this is rich. LuAnn goes to a few AA meetings, and now she’s an expert. Stay in your lane. Jill Zarin and Barbara arrive, and LuAnn is right behind them. Ramona is excited about Miami, and LuAnn says she’ll be excited to not freeze. In her interview, Ramona lists the bonuses of going to Miami, but I think her real incentive is men. Dorinda tells LuAnn that she doesn’t want to be mentioned in LuAnn’s cabaret act. She’s being nice about it. In Ramona’s interview, she says Dorinda is coming through loud and clear. LuAnn is using Dorinda to get laughs, and Dorinda has had enough. LuAnn says she can talk about who she wants, and Dorinda says she knows what she has to do. John tells Dorinda it’s time to light the tree. Hannah and John accompany her to the podium. Dorinda wonders if she should have a lighting at Bluestone Manor. Sonja tells LuAnn that she heard LuAnn said she was manic. It’s just happiness. In her interview, Luann says course Sonja is on something. They’re all on something. Sonja does some hopscotch moves, while repeating she’s not manic; she’s happy.
Sonja meets Bethenny at a rich person’s designer clothing shop, where Bethenny is trying on some clothes. In her interview, Bethenny says Sonja’s wardrobe is a delightful combination of Leona Helmsley, Ivana Trump, and Falcon Crest. She asks Sonja how the tree lighting was, and Sonja says, it was nice; it was warm out. Bethenny says everyone was late for the clay thing, and we see a clip of her meeting Barbara at a DIY pottery thing, the others showing up an hour late, and Bethenny having to leave shortly afterward to trim the tree with Brynn. She says she’s constantly explaining her parenting style to LuAnn. Sonja says, she’s just doing Lu from her throne. Dorinda joins them, and says she doesn’t want LuAnn talking about her in the cabaret show, and she said she’d do what she damn well pleased. She says that LuAnn was also saying Sonja is on pills. Bethenny says, it’s not right. In Sonja’s interview, she says LuAnn is alienating everyone with her behavior. She’s LuAnn’s most loyal friend, and now even she’s getting it. Dorinda wonders how the Miami trip is going to be; if LuAnn will be queen bee. Bethenny says they’ll have an issue. In Bethenny’s interview, she says there’s nothing LuAnn could do that would surprise her. They discuss when they’re arriving, and Dorinda thinks it’s going to be a good trip. Bethenny tells her not to jinx it.
Everyone packs from closets that are as big as your house.
Wow. Fastest. Flight. Ever. We’re in Miami. I actually feel the heat for a moment. Ramona brought ten pairs of shoes for four days. I get it, but it’s a bitch to pack it all back up again. They start to get in the airport limo, and realize it won’t seat all of them. They decide to take two, and Tinsley is shoved out first. In Tinsley’s interview, she says she knows she’s the kid sister. Put baby in a corner, why don’t you? She’s got it. Ramona has rented a house, which is very different from the hotel I stayed in when I went there. She’s thrilled with being in warm weather, and they squeal over the view. Ramona says, in person, the house blows the photos away. There’s no comparison to last year’s house. We flash back to Ramona getting stuck in the elevator. LuAnn can’t wait to get in the pool. Sonja says, this is the life she’s accustomed to.
There’s a major spread, with all kinds of food, as well as a staff. Sonja says she was only a minute in the door, when she was given a welcome drink. She doesn’t know what’s in it, but she’s gonna have it. Tinsley informs everyone within earshot that Ramona and Harry were French kissing. In Sonja’s interview, she calls him Harry Dubious. She wants to erase him, but can’t because she loves him. Why can’t he stay away from her girlfriends They do a house tour, led by manager Carlos. No big shock, Ramona wants the best room. Like there is one; they’re all fabulous. We find out from Dorinda, a bathroom shared between two bedrooms called a Jack and Jill. LuAnn suggests they choose rooms. Ramona’s philosophy is, first come, first served. Especially if it’s her. I added that last part.
They go out on the deck, and the view of the sunset is unbelievable. In Dorinda’s interview, she says if there’s one thing they can count on, it’s Ramona saying they’ll stick together, and then not doing it. There’s not a bad room in the house. There’s not a fish room. It’s decided, and whatever. All of the rooms are gorgeous, but they all kind of look the same. Carlos says dinner is at seven. In her interview, LuAnn says being back in Miami isn’t easy. She has to stick to the plan, stay sober, and do whatever it takes to navigate through the drama.
We see clips of Ramona ordering staff around during a previous trip. This time, she explains every piece of her wardrobe to some poor guy. He’s probably already looking forward to them leaving. Sonja has a hard time not calling a guy named Tej (pronounced tage, rhymes with page) Raj. Sonja tells him that they have to unpack, and dangles her thong underwear in his face. She tells him LuAnn better get off her high horse. Outside, Dorinda instructs the bartender on making what she’s dubbed a pre-dress drink. She warns him that he doesn’t know what he’s dealing with here, but it’s fun, and they won’t let him down. Tej tries to act professional, as Sonja lectures him on his name. Ramona thinks Sonja being so drunk so early is not a good look at all. Dorinda has the bartender taste the drink, and he calls it a Miami mojito. Sonja wants to hide her belly, and says Tej has a little belly too. In her interview, LuAnn says she went for a swim, and when she came back, Sonja was already three sheets to the wind. It’s going to be a long night. Sonja says she’s a little drunk.
Bethenny arrives. In the upstairs bathroom, Sonja is ranting about Ramona making out with Harry. I wish everyone would stop talking about it, since it turns my stomach a little. Ramona says she didn’t, and Tinsley says, yes, she did. Barbara greets Bethenny, who describes the house as spectacular; modern and palatial. Very Miami. She’s spot-on. They hear screaming, and Barbara tells Bethenny it’s Sonja. Bethenny doesn’t know if she wants to enter this yet. Sonja is now fully-clothed, but standing in the bathtub, occasionally making dangerous moves, balancing herself on the side. She says Ramona made out with Harry. Bethenny isn’t surprised that Sonja is already at an eleven, but she is surprised yet another woman made out with Harry. Sonja tries to explain about how they chose the rooms, and Bethenny says as long as she’s the last to get there, and the first one out, she’ll take anything. Sonja wants to pee in the tub, and Tinsley begs her not to, since she might want to take a bath. Dorinda says she’d never touch Harry. In Bethenny’s interview, she says, in deference to Sonja, she was the first to be with Tom, and the first to be with Harry. Sonja is the curator of c*ck, and she found all these men.
Dinner is served. Sonja hugs Tej. She loves this place. She hugs another staff member, and tries to make out with Tinsley. In her interview, Tinsley says Sonja is very drunk, and acting a lot different. She sees why someone might think she was on something else, but knows it’s just plain old drinking Sonja. Sonja asks where Bethenny the princess is, while she eats something out of the serving bowl with the serving spoon. LuAnn asks if she wants a plate, and it takes a while to get through to Sonja that the bowl is for everyone. Not that they want it now. In her interview, LuAnn says, and she’s the crazy one, thinking Sonja is on something.
LuAnn asks Dorinda if she’s inviting anyone to dinner tomorrow night. LuAnn has guys coming; one more hot than the other. In her interview, she says they have a fabulous house, and they’re all single and ready to mingle. She’s hoping Sonja paces herself when the guests are there. She doesn’t want Sonja to look bad. Sonja asks if the guys are straight, used up, or effed upped. LuAnn asks if Sonja doesn’t trust her. Sonja says LuAnn usually screws her guys, and Ramona makes out with her guys. LuAnn says she’s had enough, and Sonja says Ramona made out with Harry. Ramona says she didn’t, but Tinsley says she saw them. Dorinda feels badly, and thinks there’s a lack of respect for Sonja, her feelings, and her past relationships. Even Sonja acts flip about it, but when she drinks, the pain comes out. I’m shocked at Dorinda’s insight, especially since she’s never respected Sonja’s past relationships either. Sonja says she was with him thirty years ago, and LuAnn says, who cares? Sonja says they weren’t just friends with benefits, like with Tom. LuAnn says Sonja is living in the past, and Sonja says LuAnn is living in her backyard. Ramona says Sonja is ranting and raving that they took her guys, but she’s had a lot of them. LuAnn tells Sonja to give it a rest. Dorinda says Sonja is upset, and LuAnn says she doesn’t live in the past. In Dorinda’s interview, she says if a girlfriend has had any interaction with a guy, she doesn’t date them. There’s a girl code. Why isn’t she following it? LuAnn tells Dorinda, don’t get involved, and Dorinda says she’ll get involved if she wants to, reminding LuAnn of how she’d said she’ll do what she pleases. She says Sonja has been LuAnn’s best advocate, and she needs to take it down a notch. In LuAnn’s interview, she says, watching this sober is embarrassing. She doesn’t ever want be like that again. Sonja says she went to LuAnn’s rehearsal, and she’s a diva. LuAnn says she’s not, and Sonja tells her, shut up, and get off her high horse. LuAnn tells Sonja not to talk to her like that, but Sonja says she will. LuAnn says she won’t put up with this, and walks out. She says they’ll talk when Sonja is in the right frame of mind; not when she’s drinking. Dorinda claims that Sonja has been an even better friend to LuAnn than she has. She thinks LuAnn doesn’t want to hear it because she’s done with Sonja, and Sonja repeats LuAnn doesn’t want to hear it. On her way to her room, LuAnn says Sonja is effing wasted. I understand totally why LuAnn wouldn’t want to be around all this, but she’s a little bit like the ex-smoker who gets all stupid when somebody else lights up, even though that was them five minutes ago.
Bethenny finally gets to the table – looking amazing. Dorinda says they’re drunk, and doesn’t know if Bethenny can catch up. In Bethenny’s interview, she says she’s like Zero Dark Thirty. She has no idea what’s going on. She recognizes drunk Sonja, and drunk Dorinda. Okay, they’re talking about LuAnn. She’s going in. Tinsley says LuAnn thought she was being attacked. Barbara says that’s why she left. Bethenny says she realizes Barbara is the leader of the cabaret cult, but she needs to take off the construction goggles. LuAnn thinks the world works for her. Bethenny goes to find LuAnn. She doesn’t want to be mean, but either it’s not happening, and they’re all delusional, or it’s happening, and LuAnn is being self-involved and narcissistic.
Bethenny tells LuAnn she’s there to talk, not to listen. She isn’t attacking LuAnn, and LuAnn says, why not? Everyone seems to. Bethenny says she deserves it. LuAnn doesn’t realize, but she takes and takes, and expects, and has an entitlement about her. It’s gone to her head. LuAnn says, no it’s gone to Bethenny’s head, which makes no sense whatsoever. In her interview, LuAnn says it’s been non-stop negativity. Bethenny asks why LuAnn would think they’d go to cabaret five times in one month. LuAnn says if she doesn’t want to go, don’t go. Bethenny says she doesn’t get it. doesn’t get Sonja getting wasted and attacking Sonja is wasted, and LuAnn is running around saying she’s on something. LuAnn says she wanted to talk to Sonja tonight, but Sonja is in no shape to talk. At the table, Sonya complains about being a doormat. Bethenny says she’s not going to sit and yammer with them at the table, but she’s just saying her piece. LuAnn says, let them talk. She and Bethenny say goodnight. In LuAnn’s interview, she says she feels like barricading herself, or finding a safe space, but there isn’t a house big enough to be safe.
Sonja is nodding out at the table. Ramona says she can’t fall asleep; they’re going out. She knows a spot nearby. In her interview, she says Sonja shot her wad too early. She asks if Dorinda wants to go, but that’s a no. She asks Bethenny, who says, what about Barbara? Barbara says Ramona doesn’t want her to come, and tells Ramona that she can say it. Ramona says she and Tinsley can catch up. Bethenny feels like Barbara is being left out, and Tinsley says she’s not going to be part of a Mean Girls scenario. She’ll go if Barbara wants to come. Barbara is like, thanks, but no thanks, saying in her interview, Ramona already ruined it. Ramona and Tinsley go upstairs. Tinsley wants to change before they leave.
Bethenny tells Sonja, go to bed. Sonja says they’re not hot, and Bethenny says, she’s right; they’re hideous. Go to bed. Bethenny tells her, go out bed or she’ll knock her out. Sonja says she’ll knock Bethenny out, and Bethenny tells her to give it her best shot. Sonja tries to get up, and falls, cracking her head on the table on her way down. That’s gotta hurt.
Next time, an ambulance arrives, LuAnn thinks the women have a problem with her success <snort>, and Mario arrives.
🍹 Charleston MiniCap…
On Southern Charm, Craig seems to be getting a little Game of Thrones-ish handsome. Although I could be loss projecting. Naomie’s business is really booming. Plus, she’s helping at the restaurant, since her parents are in Nice. Chelsea’s father asked if she was okay with seeing Nick only every few months, and wondered if there was a future. Chelsea said Nick has a three year contract (he does something involving racing, but I forget what), and is planning on moving to Charleston after that. After pointing out that Chelsea always picked absent boyfriends, her father said she could do worse.
Cameran fretted over an imaginary something happening to Palmer. Her mother said it wasn’t healthy, and to get it out of her head. Craig tagged along with Chelsea for tree shopping, and he blabbed about how expensive Kathryn’s place was, and that she’d gotten a Rolls Royce. Her business with Gwynn’s is also a success. She’s now designing and rebranding. Good for her. I find her fascinating. She’s gone from doormat/harridan to a modern Southern belle. She tells Naomie that she’s dating a Democratic Senator. He’s only 38, thank God, and a nice looking dude. Craig gossiped about this to Chelsea as well, telling her that Senator Joe’s newly ex-wife has accused him of abuse, and he didn’t run for office again because of the divorce. Chelsea and Craig both thought it was too reminiscent of Thomas. Kathryn said she’s stressed, and wanted to do something fun, and suggested a girls trip. She told Naomie, it’s a hard knock life for girl bosses.
Shep looked at puppies, but his mother said she wasn’t taking a third dog on for him. He insisted it would help him be responsible. Would someone please get him to therapy? Craig found out that Madison was hitting on Danni’s boyfriend, via another friend, and sliding into his DMs. Shep and Craig decided to tell Austen for his own good. Austen had stars in his eyes, and Madison was seriously leading him on.
Naomie hosted an event at the restaurant, inviting her friends, influencers, and people who could get the word out about the place. Kathryn was doing so well, Cameran wasn’t sure whether she was the mother of two or a rapper. I thought it was weird that Danni had to explain the modern treehouse hotel to Cameran, since she’s in real estate. Does she never look at dream houses online?
After deciding they had to let him know what was up with Madison, Shep and Craig made plans to meet with Austen. Craig wondered if it was their first intervention, being on that side, and Shep said he didn’t want any disturbances in the force. They discussed their plan before Austen met them for drinks and food. It didn’t take long before the plan was abandoned, and Shep just launched into asking Craig to divulge the information. Austen didn’t want to believe it, so Craig called Danni, who confirmed that Madison was showing interest in Gentry on Instagram. Shep and Craig pushed Austen to call Madison immediately, saying he’d never do it if he didn’t do it now. Madison almost instantly copped to it, but claimed it was meaningless; nothing happened. Austen congratulated her for hitting on Danni’s boyfriend, thus ending their relationship. I think. I felt badly for him, but he seems to pick unavailable women. Maybe he’s not really ready for commitment. God knows he’s not ready for a career.
Next time, Kathryn is MIA, Cameran has her girls trip, and Austen tries to make excuses.
🎤 While We’re On the Countess Subject…
I wonder if the two mimosas were worth it.
https://pagesix.com/2019/05/23/luann-de-lesseps-taken-into-custody-for-probation-violation/
She won’t be able to drink on Antabuse. It makes you sick if you ingest alcohol. Rut-roe.
And she’s not happy about it.
Oh come on. She’s one of the things that makes the show worth watching. Between her and Ramona, where else would we see such cluelessness? Then again, production companies don’t exactly like an insurance risk.
https://radaronline.com/exclusives/2019/05/luann-de-lesseps-fired-rhony-probation-violation/
☝ By George, I Think I Found It…
The tree Dorinda lit. Unfortunately, it’s about nine minutes in, but if you like walking around the city, this video is for you.
What I Watched - TV With Theresa 