What I Watched Today
(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)
General Hospital
Reporters mob Laura, asking if the rumor about an Avian flu outbreak is true. She says, there was one case identified. The patient was isolated and successfully treated. There’s nothing to be concerned about.
Valentin, Nina, and Charlotte arrive at Charlie’s for Rocco’s birthday party. Charlotte asks if Nina thinks he’ll like what they got him, and Nina says, who wouldn’t like a Yankees jacket? Sonny says he can’t call Rocco little anymore; he’s a big boy. Lulu says she doesn’t like it. He’s growing up too fast. Sonny is surprised to see Valentin there, and Valentin asks if Sonny has a moment. He’d like to talk before the festivities. Nina takes Charlotte to give Rocco his present, and Sonny tells Valentin, he’s listening. Valentin says he has a favor to ask.
Laura assures the reporters, the flu is contained, and there’s no risk of an outbreak. A reporter asks if she has any comment on Drew’s plane vanishing.
On the phone, Jax tells someone to keep looking. He’ll spare no expense. Curtis comes in, and asks, what’s going on? Jax says he’s hired a private charter company to scout the area where the wreckage was spotted, but they’re not offering much hope. Curtis says, that’s because they don’t know Drew. Curtis hasn’t counted Drew out yet.
Laura says, obviously, Aurora Media is an important business to Port Charles, as is their CEO. She’s hopeful about his return. A reporter asks if the knife attack on Andre is connected, but Jordan intervenes, saying they have work to do, and their questions will be answered at the scheduled press conference. She and Laura go into the station, and Laura thanks Jordan. Jordan says, the reporters are just doing their job, and Laura says she needs to do hers. She asks for a rundown of everything that’s happened in the past few days. Um… has she not been paying attention?
Sam sees Elizabeth at the hospital. She says she came there to see Andre, but he wasn’t in his room. Elizabeth says he’s in for tests, and it might take a while. Sam says Jason told her about the wreckage, but Elizabeth wonders if they’re sure it was his plane. Sam says, no bodies were found. Drew may still be alive. He wouldn’t go down without a fight.
Franco tells Kim, it might sound crazy, but he’s not crazy. He knows the body he’s in isn’t his, and the body of the man who held her, the father of her child, is gone. He’s at the bottom of the ocean. Kim says, it doesn’t make sense, and he says, it’s a lot to take in. Kim says, it can’t be. He holds her, and says, it’s okay.
Josslyn sits by the Oscar’s Meadow plaque. Trina and Cameron show up, and Trina says she told him Josslyn would be there. Josslyn says, she was just… Trina says, ditching the first day of school. Josslyn says she can explain, but Trina says she doesn’t have to. One minute they were talking about the paisley romper situation on their homeroom teacher, and the next, she was gone. Cameron says, if it’s any consolation, everyone is asking about Franco. Trina says, on the plus side, Josslyn’s cousin is causing a stir. Cameron says, every girl wants to show him around. Trina says, there’s also a hot new English teacher. She’s sitting in the front row. Cameron says, tomorrow will be better. It’s only up from there. Josslyn says she couldn’t take hearing everyone talking about tryouts, who’s on student council, and what they did over the summer. They’re just moving on with their lives, when Oscar isn’t.
Olivia tells Laura that she can’t believe Julian picked today of all days to schedule the inspection. Laura says, he’s eager to leave town with Kim, and Olivia says, luckily, it went smoothly. Laura says Olivia seems excited about buying the place. She can’t wait to see what Olivia does with it. Charlotte and Leo give Rocco their presents, but he doesn’t seem into it. Olivia suggests they take their presents to the present table, and grab something to eat, adding, save room for ziti. Laura asks Rocco if something is wrong, and Rocco says, no. She says he seems quiet, and Olivia says this is a family party; he’ll see his friends tomorrow. He gets two parties. Rocco says not all of the family is there.
Valentin and Sonny step outside. Valentin says they have a common enemy – Cassandra Pierce. Sonny says she’s Valentin’s enemy. Michael was just in the wrong place at the wrong time. Valentin says, Michael is a witness now. For everyone’s sake, Sonny needs to do what he does best, and take care of Cassandra.
Curtis asks Jax where they left off with the codicil. Hayden says, the theory is that Helena hid it on Cassadine property. She made reference to keeping it close. Curtis says, they never did tell him how Spencer found out, but Jax suggests Curtis focus on the search, and they’ll worry about the rest. He wants to rule out Spoon Island, and tells Curtis, focus on that. Hayden wants to check in with her sister, and Curtis says he should be on his way too. They can’t risk Valentin seeing them together, but Jax says they have unfinished business.
Sam says, Drew was flying to Afghanistan to right a wrong, even if he doesn’t remember it. Elizabeth says with Andre back, she has a chance to put her family back together. She can’t believe they might have lost Drew. Sam tells her, don’t go there yet, and Elizabeth says, if the worst happened, at least it wasn’t in vain. He gave them a chance to save Franco. She tells Sam, just say it. She doesn’t think having Franco back is worth it if Drew died.
Kim says Franco is wrong. Drew can’t be dead. Franco says, he was flying over the gulf and dropped off the radar. When the wreckage was found, it was confirmed to be Drew’s plane. Kim says, no, and sits on the bed. She slides to the floor, and Franco says, it’s okay. He’s there, and he’s not going anywhere. She cries in his arms. I see her keeping her distance is going well. And why would Chase even discuss this in front of her?
Rocco wishes his dad was there. Lulu says they talked about this. His dad is still sick, and has to get better before coming home. Rocco asks how long he’s going to be sick for? Olivia knows it will work out, and thinks they can make an exception for him to open one present now. She puts a soap opera wrapped box in front of him. You know the kind. It’s wrapped, but the lid comes right off; no unwrapping necessary. Rocco opens the card, and it says, to the best son in the world; love, Dad. It’s a new baseball glove. He says he likes it, but dad already gave him a glove. Olivia says, it’s a better one. His dad wanted him to have the best of the best. Rocco tells her, if she talks to him, tell him thanks, and runs off. Lulu asks, what the hell was that? Olivia just lied to Rocco.
Laura tells Jordan, in a perfect world, the press would give Drew’s family space, but Jordan says she can’t fault them for being curious. Laura says, Aurora is one of Port Charles’s biggest companies, and its CEO’s plane vanished? Jordan says, unfortunately, there’s not much they can do, but the WSB has made it a high-priority investigation. Laura says, at the same time Drew’s plane went down, Andre was stabbed. She asks if there’s any evidence the two things are connected. Jordan says Andre’s description of his attacker is their only lead. It’s someone who has a vested interest in keeping Franco the same. Laura wonders, who could that be?
There’s a knock at Franco’s hotel room door, and he tells Kim, they’ll go away. The knocking continues, and Kim gets up, telling him if he’s not getting it, she will. It’s Chase, and Franco asks how his jaw is. Chase says, recovering. He asks if he can come in, and Franco asks, what’s up? Chase says, the ankle monitor is coming off soon, and Franco says he’s counting the hours. Chase says, he’d like to ask Franco a few questions. He thinks they should talk privately, but Kim asks if it’s about Drew. Franco says he told Kim that Drew’s plane went down. Chase says they’ve coordinated with the authorities internationally. They’re searching the area at the moment, but there’s no evidence of survivors. Franco asks if Chase came all this way to say that. Chase says Drew went to find Andre so Andre could treat him. Franco says he heard, and Chase says, it tuns out that Drew’s plane went down at the same time Andre was stabbed.
Sam tells Elizabeth, she’s not getting into this, but Elizabeth wants her to tell what she’s thinking. Sam says she’s thinking she doesn’t want to tell Scout that her father’s not coming home. Elizabeth doesn’t want to tell her boys that one more person they care about is gone, but at least Drew died trying to save Franco. Sam says, Franco’s life isn’t worth Drew’s death. There; she said it. Elizabeth says he’s spent years trying to be a better person, and Sam asks if Elizabeth forgot what Franco did to her. She has to live with the memory. Elizabeth asks if Sam is hoping it’s permanent, and Franco thinks he’s Drew for the rest of his life. Sam says, maybe he’d be happier. Everyone else would. Elizabeth should accept he’s gone and move on. Hayden appears, and asks if they have a problem here?
Olivia asks Lulu, what’s the problem? and Lulu says she doesn’t lie to her son. She was hoping his Nona didn’t either. Olivia says she’s seen a lot of pictures of Rocco with Santa, and Lulu says, that’s a different concept. She’s talking about Rocco’s father. Olivia says, it’s a white lie, and Lulu says she knows it’s well-intentioned, but it’s manipulative. Olivia says maybe Lulu has decided she doesn’t want to be a part of the family, but Rocco is. Charlotte yells at one of the other kids to let Rocco have a turn, and Olivia asks, who the hell is that?
Jax asks who Curtis is working for; him, Valentin, or someone else? Curtis says they’re on the same side. He made a mistake, and it won’t happen again. Jax asks if Curtis understands that it could damage or end his friendship with Nina. Curtis says, she’ll get over it. Like she’s going to get over Valentin when she finds out what kind of man he is. He’s ruthless. She has money, and doesn’t need Valentin’s fortune. Jax says they need to get to work going over Helena’s history. They’ve been brainstorming about where she hid the codicil. It’s a big world, and the Cassadines have property on every continent. Curtis says they need an expert on Helena. He knows just the person.
Laura asks Jordan if Finn is sure the virus won’t spread. Jordan says, 100%. Sasha was a target, and it was deliberately administered by Cassandra in retaliation. Apparently, Anna and Valentin were working together to bust Cassandra. Laura wonders, why go after someone several steps removed? Why not Nina or Charlotte? Jordan says, good question. And why was Anna spared? She thinks Valentin isn’t telling them the whole story about what happened with Cassandra.
Nina finds Valentin and Sonny outside, and asks, what’s going on? Sonny says her fiancé was asking him a favor. Valentin says if Cassandra was no longer a threat, he’d be indebted. Sonny says he has the wrong guy. He doesn’t know what rumors Valentin heard, but he imports coffee. I’m surprised they’re not all laughing.
Sam tells Hayden that she was just on her way out, but Hayden says it didn’t look that way. It looked like she was arguing with her sister. Sam says it doesn’t concern Hayden, and Elizabeth says she just overreacted. Hayden says, no one jumps on her sister, and Drew is the last person who would want them to. Sam asks if they forgot why they came to Port Charles in the first place. Sam’s phone dings, and she say she has someplace to be. She tells Elizabeth, for what it’s worth, she just wanted check in on her. Elizabeth flashes back to telling Franco (when he had long hair!) that he was a good friend to her when the town hated her. He says she deserves a break. Everyone needs a friend. He says he moved on from being a horror show, and she believes he changed. She says she knows he has. Elizabeth remembers Franco as Drew telling her he wants to get back his life. She says he’s robbing her of her husband, but he says, sorry; it’s not him. He doesn’t even remember marrying her. He’s not trying to hurt her or her children. He puts his ring on the coffee table, and says he just wants to get on with his life.
Chase asks if Franco knew Andre personally, but Franco has no idea if they ever met. Chase says he’s referring to Andre’s relationship with Andrew Cane. Franco says as far as he knows, they never met, but he’s heard Andre was instrumental in developing the memory transfer program that started this mess. Why? Chase says he’s running down possible connections, and Kim says, he has no right to question Drew. He had nothing to do with this. Franco is all pleased that she called him Drew.
Dustin and Rocco thumb wrestle. Olivia asks who he is, and what is he doing with the kids? Rocco says, he’s mommy new friend. Lulu introduces him and says they met on story she was working on. She tells Dustin that Olivia is her mother-in-law… Rocco’s grandmother, and Sonny is his grandfather. He says he’s sorry he interrupted a private party. Olivia says, it kind of is, and Lulu says, it’s a family birthday party. Rocco asks if Dustin can stay, but Lulu is sure he has other places to be. He says he wouldn’t mind staying.
Kim tells Chase, Franco had nothing to do with Andre being stabbed or the plane going down. Chase says he never claimed Franco did. He’s following every lead, and they don’t have much at the moment. Franco has been vocal about not wanting to be a part of the memory reversal. Kim asks what time Andre was stabbed. Chase tells her, and she says, Franco’s not the guy. He was in Oscar’s Meadow at the time. If Chase doesn’t believe her, she’s sure there’s evidence on the security camera. Chase says he believes them. He doesn’t consider Franco a suspect. Andre described his attacker, and he was hoping Franco might help. Franco and Kim look at a picture on Chase’s phone, and Franco says, no. He’s never seen the man. Chase says he’ll pass on Franco’s alibi to Jordan. If he has more questions… Kim tells him to contact Franco’s attorney, Scott Baldwin. Chase leaves, and Kim looks at Franco. He smiles.
Laura gives a present to Leo. She sees Valentin and Nina, and tells them that she’s glad to hear Sasha is better. Nina says they’re all relieved. Laura says they believe Cassandra was targeting Sasha because she wanted revenge. She finds it curious that Cassandra wouldn’t be going for someone more responsible for her capture. There was no mention of Nina. Valentin says, that’s because she wasn’t involved. Laura says, time will tell. Enjoy the party.
Sam goes to Jax’s office and says, he wanted to see her? He thanks her for coming, but wishes it were under better circumstances. He tells her, everyone at Aurora is devastated about Drew, and asks how she’s holding up. She says, okay. She’s trying to stay positive. He says he’s providing private resources to help with the search, but does have some considerations to account for. Drew’s absence has already thrown Aurora into disarray. He has a possible solution, but would need her help.
Hayden asks if Elizabeth is okay, and Elizabeth says she’s fine. Hayden asks what Sam said that riled her up? Elizabeth says Sam pushed, but she did most of the talking. There’s always tension between them. They try to bury it and be civil, but there’s always an undercurrent waiting for one of them to say the wrong thing, and they go off. Hayden says she’d offer to beat her up, but Sam would wipe the floor with her. Elizabeth says, accurate, but she appreciates the sentiment. Hayden says, what are sisters for?
Josslyn and Trina talk about the hot English teacher. Cameron tells them his mom just texted, and needs him at home right away. Josslyn asks, what’s going on? and he tells them, she just said she needed to talk to him and his brothers. Trina says, maybe it’s news about Franco. He says he’ll see both of them in school – he hopes. Josslyn says she should head home too. She’s been dodging texts and calls from her mother all afternoon. Trina says ignoring Carly is bold, and Josslyn says she might as well get Carly’s wrath over with, but Trina suggests they grab a snack and talk more about what happened to her today.
Laura tells Lulu this is the happiest she’s seen Rocco in months, and Lulu says, her too. Valentin asks if they can discuss Charlotte’s schedule. Nina says they want to adjust it a little. Valentin says they have a wedding coming up, and want to make sure Charlotte is there. Laura asks if they’re sure it’s a good idea. Cassandra could come back. Valentin says they considered it, but don’t want to put their lives on hold.
Jax tells Sam, outside the Quartermaines, Drew’s only living family is Scout; she’s his sole heir. Sam says, that’s correct. Jax says he doesn’t want to get ahead of himself, but wants to protect Scout’s birthright, and make sure the company is stabilized if Drew comes back. He’d like her to come back, and run Drew’s side of the company.
Franco thanks Kim for having his back with Chase. Kim asks how he can be so calm when Chase was practically accusing him. Franco says Chase was just doing his job. He had nothing to do with it, and it’s over. Kim says, he’s just going to let it go? Franco says he doesn’t see Andre as being innocent. If it wasn’t for Andre, he’d have come home and been there for her when she reached out. They would have had time together with their son. Andre took that away from them. At least that’s what he thought, but she called him Drew.
Lulu asks if there’s anything Dustin can’t do. Olivia tells Sonny that she doesn’t know if Rocco knows his parents are divorced, or if he even knows what divorce is. Now he sees his mother hanging out with a new guy. For all they know, she’s dating him. Sonny tells her not to jump to conclusions. Besides, Dante divorced Lulu. Olivia says, he just did it to be noble, and Sonny says, his motive, his choice. They can’t expect Lulu to put her life of hold because of Dante. Lulu and Dustin clean up, and she says she bets he didn’t know this was how he was going to spend his evening. He says it’s the least he can do after crashing the party, since he wasn’t invited. Lulu says Rocco wanted him to stay. He’s clearly happy. Dustin hopes Rocco’s not the only one. Trina and Josslyn come in, and Trina says the hot teacher she was talking about is here, and he’s getting his flirt on. Josslyn sees them and smiles.
Franco says he hasn’t lost sight of what happened. He understands the man he used to be is missing and presumed dead, but here he is. Whatever he is; some kind of leftover ghost. He thinks as humans, that’s all they really are; a collection of memories. He remembers every moment they had together. Kim says she has to go, but he says she doesn’t have to. She tells him that she’s said everything she needed say. Franco says, so did he, and she jets.
On the phone, Elizabeth tells Bobbie, she’ll be home soon. Hayden asks if everyone is okay, and Elizabeth says, Bobbie is dropping Jake and Aiden off. Cameron should be home by now. Hayden says, talk to her, and Elizabeth says, the boys are going through so much uncertainty. Franco has effectively disappeared, and been replaced be a stranger who doesn’t want to know them. Now she has to tell them Drew isn’t coming home. She doesn’t know how she’ll manage. Hayden does. They’ll do it together.
Sam tells Jax that she doesn’t know what to say. He says she’s experienced, and who better to fill the position? If Drew comes back, the company will be ready for him. If he doesn’t, she can opt to run it, or recruit someone. She wants to stop him there. She understands wanting to save the company, and appreciates him caring about Scout, but she can’t fathom any of it right now. Not until she knows more about what happened to Drew. Jax tells her, take her time, and just know if she needs anything, he’s there.
Nina and Valentin leave Charlie’s. Nina says, Laura is as suspicious as ever, but Valentin says, of him, not her. She can’t prove anything. Nina says she can never tell if Valentin actually has things under control, or he’s just good at faking it to reassure her. Valentin says he never has everything under control, but he’s taking care of it. Nina wants to get back to Sasha.
Laura asks Josslyn and Trina how the first day of school was. Trina asks how she knew it was the first day, and Laura says, she’s mayor. She’s expected to know that stuff. Trina says English is her favorite class, and Josslyn says, it’s too soon to call. She’ll have a better idea in a week or so. Laura says she’s her father’s daughter. She has a cool head, and a wait and see attitude. That’s a good business tactic. She tells Josslyn, don’t wait too long. Sometimes you have to jump in, and do your best. Curtis walks in, and Laura hugs him. He says he’s sorry to intrude, but her office said she’d be there. She says, the party is over anyway. He asks her to tell him everything she knows about Helena.
Tomorrow, Nina asks Valentin if he’s ready for this, Obrecht tells Sasha that they’re in this together, and Jax remains the sole CEO of Aurora.
The Real Housewives of Dallas
Kary, Stephanie and Kameron go for a workout. In her interview, Stephanie explains that electrical stimulation is used, and in twenty minutes she can get a great workout. That means she has more time to eat. The instructor tells them it contracts every muscle, and Kary wonders if she’ll have multiple orgasms. He says he can’t make any promises. In Kameron’s interview, she says she loves Kary. She has absolutely no filter whatsoever; she’s so entertaining. You don’t know what will come out of her mouth. This seems funny, coming from someone who freaked out about sex toys. Kameron and Stephanie get hooked up first. In Stephanie’s interview, she says she and Kameron have been working out together for a few months. It helps them to have a friendship outside of the group. Kameron tells them that her mother always told her, beauty is pain. In her interview, she says the device contracts the muscles so you feel like you’re hiking a mountain, but you’re not. She tells Stephanie that she’s going to the global pet expo, but she changed her ticket date so she could attend D’Andra’s roast. In Stephanie’s interview, she thinks D’Andra is a little crazy, since she doesn’t take criticism very well. She doesn’t think D’Andra knows what a roast is. She might think it’s a pot roast. Stephanie tells Kary that once she realizes the electrical current isn’t harming her, she’ll be fine. Kary says she was hoping for an orgasm, but instead, it’s killing her
Brandi and LeeAnne go out to eat at what looks like a Dave and Buster’s. In Brandi’s interview, she says she and LeeAnne are in a good space. They saw each other at a baby shower. They laughed, and joked, and had an amazing time. LeeAnne tells Brandi, they connected at the baby shower. She’s always had a soft place for Brandi, and Rich is loving it. He told her to invite Brandi to the wedding. In Brandi’s interview, she’s not sure if she’s on the B, D, or Z list. LeeAnne says she wants her and Brandi’s relationship to be about them, and no one else. If someone comes to Brandi and says LeeAnne called her a piece of sh*t, call her. She’s not doing that backstabbing and twisting bullsh*t anymore. She doesn’t want other relationships to filter what they have. She doesn’t think they need teams. They can be individuals. Brandi says they have so much fun. LeeAnne asks if Brandi thinks D’Andra’s apology was as sincere as it should be. In LeeAnne’s interview, she says, afterward, she went home and was thinking and processing. She thinks the apology wasn’t enough. She’s still hurt and angry. Brandi thinks D’Andra is trying to get there, but doesn’t think she’s somebody who shows emotion in a setting like that. In her interview, LeeAnne says, the damage D’Andra tried to inflict deserves more than one apology. She wants D’Andra to be specific, and wants her to do better. She tells Brandi that she’s still so angry.
Brandi tells nanny Alicia that she’s going shopping with Brooklyn. They’re having a one-on-one. In Brandi’s interview, she says Bruin takes a lot of her attention and time, and takes attention away from Brooklyn. What girl doesn’t bond over shopping? Possibly Brooklyn, since she wears earbuds in the car, and basically ignores Brandi in the store. In her interview, Brandi says, apparently, you take things out on the people you love the most, and apparently, that’s her. When she was Brooklyn’s age, she did a little lashing out, but her mom was her best friend, and she wants that for Brooklyn when she’s older. If she talked back, she got the belt on her butt, but she’s not doing that to her kids. She disciplines Brooklyn by taking away her tech or not letting her do something on the weekend. She asks if Brooklyn thinks she spends more time with Bruin, and Brooklyn says she doesn’t care. She tells Brooklyn that if anything is bothering her, she can come to her mom. She feels like Brooklyn is moody. Brooklyn says Brandi is the one who’s moody. They buy a load of stuff, and Brandi tells the cashier that she isn’t guilty of bribery. In her interview, she says maybe Brooklyn will like her for five minutes. Ten if she’s lucky. Who says she can’t buy love?
LeeAnne and Rich go out to dinner. LeeAnne has difficulty maneuvering the cobblestone walk in her heels. Rich toasts to getting married, and LeeAnne says she’s excited. He shouldn’t want marry her; she’s crazy. He says, no argument. In her interview, LeeAnne says they met online, and when they met in person the first time, she thought he was hot. She wondered if she’d brushed her teeth or if she was wearing granny panties. She asks if she remembers what he asked her the first time they were in bed. He asked if she’d cheated on any of her boyfriends, and she told him that she cheated on every one of them. He says, for her to say she didn’t want to mess it up, and do that to him after doing it to everyone else, it was something even a cop would believe. In LeeAnne’s interview, she says Rich told her they weren’t having sex that night. She asks if he thought she’d be there after the first morning, and he says he didn’t. She tells him that she never thought she’d get married, She thought she’d have to take care of herself her whole life. In her interview, she says she doesn’t think she ever pictured herself getting married. It’s every little girl’s dream, but not hers. (Um… I did end up getting married, but it wasn’t mine either.) Rich has been married three times, but it’s her first. She’s going to be the first Cinderella from Dallas, and have the wedding of her dreams. (Or not her dreams, as it were.) Rich thinks she’ll like the vows he wrote. They’re heartfelt and sincere; the real things he loves about her. She’s going to cry. She tells him that she loves him, and asks where he sees them in five years. He says sitting in divorce court, thinking he never knew she could be that mean.
LeeAnne meets D’Andra – who I’m starting to not like – for lunch. D’Andra says she got LeeAnne’s text, and LeeAnne thanks her for coming. In her interview, LeeAnne says, the wedding is coming up, and D’Andra tried to destroy it. She needs to own that she lied about Rich. She tells D’Andra that she wanted to have a moment where no one else was around, and they could air what’s between them. She started thinking about D’Andra conversing to her about the wedding – we flash back to D’Andra telling LeeAnne that she wants her to be happy – and thought the wedding might not have existed if she didn’t have the foundation with Rich that she has. She wants D’Andra to understand that she’s still hurt and a little angry. It’s a struggle for her, and she wants D’Andra to know where she truly is. D’Andra says they’re hurt for different reasons. She doesn’t want to rehash the past. She wants to own up to what she did. Good friends don’t do that. She’s sorry, and wants to move on. LeeAnne wants her to say she shouldn’t have brought Rich into it; that she knows he didn’t cheat, and he’s a good man. In her interview, D’Andra says LeeAnne wants her to say the truth, and that’s not the truth. She’s not going to refute the truth she knows. She tells LeeAnne that she apologizes for what she did. She shouldn’t have gotten involved in LeeAnne and Rich’s relationship. She adds that it wasn’t nefarious; what she did, she did for LeeAnne. LeeAnne says it didn’t benefit her. D’Andra claimed LeeAnne knew about it, and was keeping it from her. D’Andra says she’s sorry she said something about Rich not being faithful. Let’s move on. She doesn’t know what else to do. In D’Andra’s interview, she says she’s apologized three times. If LeeAnne can’t accept it, she doesn’t know what she expects. She’s not kissing LeeAnne’s ass. LeeAnne says, actions and words go together. She hasn’t heard from D’Andra since that meeting. D’Andra says she wanted to give LeeAnne space. We flash back to LeeAnne saying she needs time. D’Andra says she thought it was the best thing to do. LeeAnne says she’s putting the volleyball in D’Andra’s court. D’Andra asks if LeeAnne wants to come to her birthday party roast. She should love that. LeeAnne doesn’t think they’re in a position for her to be roasting D’Andra. In LeeAnne’s interview, she says she’s taking the invitation as D’Andra wanting to move forward, but not a single hair on her head believes it’s going to be a real roast. The guests are just there to blow smoke up D’Andra’s ass. D’Andra asks how the wedding is going, and if they’re writing their vows. LeeAnne says Rich finished his, but she still has to do hers. D’Andra asks if LeeAnne has talked to her mother, and LeeAnne says she doesn’t have the same relationship with her mother as D’Andra has with hers. Her mother has no financial hold over her, so there’s no need to talk to her. D’Andra says the company is hers now, and she doesn’t need to pay for anything. She took Dee’s expenses off the payroll. LeeAnne says, not the country club? and D’Andra nods solemnly. D’Andra asks if there’s anything else they need to talk about, and LeeAnne tells her that she’s said everything she needs to say. D’Andra feels better, and says, cheers to the last drip. They drain their glasses of rosé.
Kary and Eduardo go to dinner. She’s glad they can go out for date. In her interview, she explains that when they met, neither one of them was fully divorced. Eduardo is very different from her first husband, who was younger. Eduardo is nine years older. She tells him she had lunch with her daughter, who’s going to college. Kary says she found a roommate, but needs four. Eduardo doesn’t know about her rooming with strangers, and Kary says, it’s normal. He asks if they’re random people, and says it’s not normal. In Kary’s interview, she says, marriage is hard. Her first marriage lasted almost ten years, and wasn’t great. Now she and Eduardo are coming up on their ten year anniversary. She’s hoping they make it past that. She tells Eduardo that she asked D’Andra if she was doing a trip for her 50th birthday, but she’s not going anywhere because of her business situation. She was thinking they have the house in Careyes. It would be nice to invite her, and let her have some fun. Eduardo thinks it’s a great idea. In Kary’s interview, she says the house has been around in the family for about thirty years. It’s like a mini resort. We see pictures, and yes, it is. It’s like its own Club Med. She says, it’s a magical place; they got married there. She tells Eduardo that she can’t believe they made it to ten years. It’s been hard. Moving to America is the hardest thing she’s done. He agrees it’s difficult, but she’s not always the easiest. She says it’s always her fault, and he tells her that she lives in a different universe. In her interview, Kary says he can be jealous, and she doesn’t like to be controlled. They fought about it for a few years. She asks, who invented marriage anyway? and tells Eduardo, he’d better try harder next year.
D’Andra gets her hair and make-up done by Liz and Ray. Liz asks whose idea it was to do a roast, and D’Andra says it was hers. She’s giving everyone an opportunity to say in public the things they won’t say to her. Liz says, some of them might not be nice.
Stephanie wants to hear Brandi’s roast. In her interview, Stephanie says she hates public speaking. She’s afraid she’ll be horrible, feel like a failure. She asks Bryan how it is, and Bryan says he watched Brandi write it and laugh at herself the whole time. In Brandi’s interview, she says she practiced at least two hours in the shower. She took a two-hour shower??? They get in the car, and Travis says, Stephanie and Brandi are like Beavis and Butthead. Stephanie says, fire, fire, fire!
D’Andra wants tonight to be about fun, laughter, joking, and being with friends and family. People she loves, and who love her – and some people who don’t love her anymore. The guests stream in, and it gets pretty crowded. Dee wants a chat with D’Andra. In D’Andra’s interview, she says Dallas women are trained to put on smile in every situation. It’s one big pageant. Dee asks if D’Andra is excited, and D’Andra says she’s nervous. She asked everyone to make fun of her. Dee says some might be judgmental, but don’t give a rip. D’Andra says she invited everyone; it was the right thing to do. I notice Dee is wearing these orchid blossom earrings with a pearl in the middle that I long for. I’ve seen them before on vaious Housewives, but they’re a little out of my price range. Dee says she’s proud of D’Andra. D’Andra says she loves Dee, and thanks her for the party. It’s gorgeous and she’s blessed. In her interview, D’Andra says she’s thankful, but would have preferred to get the money from her trust to run her business. She doesn’t want to get in an argument though.
Everyone parties. D’Andra slugs liquor straight from a gigantic bottle. Brandi asks how she’s feeling, and D’Andra says, nervous. She’ll probably cry in five seconds. Brandi tells her, don’t cry. Kary tells them about her idea for a girls trip to Mexico. Like, next week. D’Andra says, cancel your week for fun in Mexico. Everyone immediately agrees. It must be nice. They do a shot. In D’Andra’s interview, she says she couldn’t afford a trip this year, and can think of nothing better. Kameron isn’t wearing pink. What happened? Kary tells Kameron about the trip, and in her interview, Kameron says she’s the queen of girls trips. She loves them. D’Andra takes the mic, and tells everyone, be quiet. Mom, that means you. She wants to say thank you to everyone. She’s done so much looking at her life and the friends she’s amassed, it’s amazing to her – that they’re still here. Tonight is about the good, the bad, and the ridiculous. Go wild on her. They take more shots. D’Andra’s assistant tells Stephanie that she’s first. In Stephanie’s interview, she says she’s surprised LeeAnne isn’t there. Who wouldn’t want see D’Andra roasted? It’s a ticket you can’t just buy.
Stephanie gets up first. She says her biggest fear was getting on the stage, and the crowd being dead. Looking at them, she can see most are already there. She thought D’Andra would bring class, sophistication, and money to the charity scene, and boy, was she wrong. One thing they have in common is staying home all day, taking care of the house, and a spouse who works hard. She says she’s talking to Jeremy, and everyone laughs. She says she’s blessed to have D’Andra as her friend. LeeAnne comes up the walk to the venue. In her interview, she says she’s prepared for people to potentially throw a drink on her or talk sh*t to her face, but she’s walking in to show she’s trying to move forward. If D’Andra was getting genuinely roasted, there would be an ambulance and straitjacket, and they’d be telling her it’s going to be okay. The guests get up and say nice things, which LeeAnne declares, not a roast, in her interview. Brandi says as D’Andra has gotten older and wiser, she found her voice. She imitates D’Andra sounding like Dee, saying she doesn’t give a rip what they say. She changed the company name from Hard Night, Good Morning to Hard Sell, Good Riddance. In LeeAnne’s interview, she says, that’s a roast. LeeAnne tells D’Andra’s assistant, if there’s time, she’d like to go up. More people say nice things.
Jeremy has a present for D’Andra and brings up a huge box. He says D’Andra has an insatiable love for food. There are fifty things in this box – donuts. Forty-five of them are average, for the years they weren’t together – and five are specially made to represent what she’s given to him. In her interview, Stephanie says she’d prefer fifty diamonds… fifty dresses… 50 Cent… In Brandi’s interview, she says D’Andra is going to be like the Cookie Monster. She’s going to eat fifty, and gain fifty. In LeeAnne’s interview, she says, if it’s edible, and not glued down, D’Andra shoves it in her mouth.
D’Andra’s assistant tells D’Andra, LeeAnne is coming up. She announces, last not least, LeeAnne Locken. LeeAnne goes up. As she’s walking, someone says, be nice, and she says, bite my d*ck. She asks if D’Andra is shocked. She did invite LeeAnne. She says she remembers when she turned fifty, and it sucked. So welcome to the party. They’ve been on long journey together. They’ve loved and lost, and been by each other’s side. She was there when D’Andra married Jeremy. They’ve fallen along their way, but she wants D’Andra to know that taking steps forward is everything. She gives D’Andra a gift bag, saying she brought two candles. One says hope; and one, forgiveness. D’Andra can choose to burn either or both. D’Andra says she’ll burn forgiveness first, and hope next. Jeremy is like, meh, which is kind of rude.
The cake comes out – looking not unlike Melissa’s from the great RHONJ food fight – and everyone sings Happy Birthday. The ladies have a group hug. They’re excited about the trip.
Next time, the Mexico trip, Kameron thinks it looks like something out of James Bond movie, Kary asks if LeeAnne is always negative, and LeeAnne tells herself not to kill anyone – jail isn’t worth it.
📰 Read All About It…
All I have to say is, I hope Kathryn gets full custody of those children.
https://people.com/tv/southern-charm-thomas-ravenel-pleads-guilty-to-assault/
🗽 Not Forgetting…
📻 Best song about NYC ever.
What I Watched - TV With Theresa 