What I Watched Today
(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)
General Hospital
Sam opens the door to her apartment, and a tire rolls in. Dante follows it, and says, look familiar?
Maggie comes into the prison library, and Alexis says she looks happy. Maggie says she got it. Her parole. She’s out on Friday. Alexis says she’s so happy for Maggie, and Maggie says her cousin even has a job interview lined up for her. Alexis says if she has any problems, call her county employment liaison, or go through the Board of Corrections, or go to the Department of… Never mind; they’ll talk about it later. What is she going to do to celebrate her freedom when she first walks out? Maggie says she hasn’t thought about it yet, and Alexis asks, why not? Maggie says, first she had to thank the person who made it possible.
Shawn is led into the visiting room, where TJ is waiting. Shawn says he appreciates TJ taking the time to visit, and TJ asks why he’s being so formal. Shawn says he just knows how busy TJ is, but TJ says he’s never to busy to visit Shawn. How is Shawn doing? Shawn says he’d rather talk about TJ. Tell him what’s new in his life. TJ says he put in for a staff position at GH, and Shawn says he’s sure they’ll jump at the chance to have him. TJ says, here’s hoping. First, he has to graduate. Shawn says he didn’t tell TJ yet, because he didn’t want to get TJ’s hopes up, but he decided to go for his parole.
Laura thanks Nikolas and Ava for coming over, and Nikolas says, it sounded serious, so they dropped everything. Ava says, if it’s between mother and son, she understands, but Laura says, no. It’s good Ava is there. All of them need to stick together. Nikolas says she mentioned Cyrus in her message. What did he do? Laura says he told her she lost a brother, and gained an enemy.
Brando asks Sasha if he should slip out the back, but she says, no. It’s better if he’s there. They can confront this head on. Cyrus knocks (surprisingly), and Sasha opens the door. Cyrus notices Brando is there, and Sasha says, perfect timing. They have a lot to discuss. Cyrus asks what Brando is doing there, and she says, Brando is part of this. Apparently, he wants to know who the father of her baby is. Fine. She’ll tell him.
Carly tells Gladys that Sasha is pregnant, and Brando is the father. How does she think Cyrus is going to react when he finds out? Not well. The only one who can save Gladys and her son, is Carly. Gladys says, impossible. Her son has better taste than the face of Description. She doesn’t know where Carly heard this lie… Carly says, Sasha, and Gladys says Carly believes her? Carly says she does, and Gladys better hope Cyrus doesn’t find out that Sasha is pregnant with Brando’s baby. The best thing would be if Cyrus doesn’t find out Sasha is pregnant at all. Gladys says, too late. Cyrus already knows.
Sam tells Dante, it’s a good looking tire… plenty of tread… looks like it’s had some patchwork done. They did a good job. She’d take it for her car, but it won’t fit. She could actually use a spare. He says it’s a perfect fit for his car, but she knows that. She’s the one who slashed it. She says, she slashed his tire? and he says, tires. He has another one just like it. He says, sabotage? but she says she thinks it’s called carelessness. He says, even with the worst kind of luck, it’s impossible to flatten two tires on the same sharp object when the car is parked. She says he’s right; that is bad luck. Her advice to him, don’t buy a lottery ticket. He hands her a bill, saying, he doesn’t have to, and she says, come on. He’s giving her a bill? He says she’s lucky he’s only giving her a bill. He could have her on obstruction of justice, hindering a police officer, aiding and abetting a fugitive. They all carry prison terms. If she doesn’t want to go back to jail, don’t take his word for it. Ask her mom.
Alexis says she’s happy for Maggie, but all she did was give Maggie some pointers. Maggie says Alexis gave her a lot more than that; Alexis gave her confidence. Alexis says, that was all on Maggie; she was just a sounding board. Maggie says Alexis helped her find her voice, and Alexis says that means a lot to her. She’s glad she could be there for Maggie. Maggie says, this is going to sound selfish, so she hopes Alexis takes it the right way. If Alexis had to get tossed in the slammer, Maggie’s glad it was with her, or she might not be getting out. Alexis says, if anyone’s been selfish, it’s her.
Laura says, Nikolas’s Uncle Cyrus is drawing battle lines, with him on one side, and her and everyone she loves on the other. Ava asks if shots have been fired, or it was a vague threat, like the one he made against Avery to her. Nikolas says, or the one he made against Spencer at that disastrous family dinner. Laura says, which was the last straw for him. Cyrus knows the dinner was a diversion so that Carly could get Jason out of GH. Ava says, Cyrus can’t possibly hold them responsible for something Carly… Never mind. She forgot they’re talking about a psychopath, not a reasonable human being. Laura says, yes, he’s a psychopath. With money and resources, and now the gloves are off. Nikolas says, at least that’s one wedding invitation they won’t have to send, and Laura says he can’t be glib about this. Cyrus has more of a reason to target him than anybody else. Nikolas says, because he’s Laura’s son? but she says, because Nikolas is going behind Cyrus’s back to buy Pentenville.
Sasha tells Cyrus, it was a one-night stand. One and done, only not quite, since she has this dandy souvenir. Cyrus says he wasn’t asking about the circumstances, and she says, no. He sent his driver to ask. If either of them lean on her anymore for intimate, personal information, she’s calling the cops, and filing a harassment complaint. Cyrus says, that won’t be necessary, and tells Brando to wait in the lobby. On second thought, he might be a while; take the night off. Brando hesitates, and Sasha ask what he’s waiting for. Go. Brando leaves, and Sasha says Cyrus got his answer. Is he waiting for the gory details? He asks if it’s so impossible to believe he cares about her, and she says, it’s completely impossible. He doesn’t care about her, or the baby she’s carrying. All he cares about, is that it’s not his. He says, how could it be? They’ve never been intimate. She says, no, but if she hadn’t OD’d on the drugs he gave her, she would have slept with him… to get more drugs. That’s what he was counting on, right?
Carly asks, who told Cyrus? and Gladys says, it was a misunderstanding. She overheard Sasha in the ladies room. Carly says, and she immediately blabbed to Cyrus? but Gladys says, of course (🍷) not. She ran into Lucy, and they noticed a connection between Cyrus and Sasha. The way he looked at her, there was a spark. Carly says, of course (🍷) there was a connection. Cyrus is a drug dealer and Sasha is a recovering addict. Gladys says, Lucy told her about the night Sasha went back to Cyrus’s apartment, so of course (🍷) it made sense. Carly asks what Gladys did, and Gladys says, what any polite, well brought up person would do. She congratulated Cyrus on becoming a father. Carly says, and she painted a target on her son’s back.
Dante says, Sam isn’t acting like someone who put their old life in the rearview mirror. Or is that what she just tells people so she can do whatever the hell she wants to? She asks if he wants details on her criminal activity, and he says, then he doesn’t have to dig it up detective style. It saves him some time. She says, exhibit A, and holds up a book. She says, this is called a book. One she read to Scout before she fell asleep. Then she let Danny stay up and listen to the Dodgers game. Dante says, ew! and she says she knows. It’s a family scandal, but Danny bleeds Dodger blue. That’s it; her confession. Cuff her. He says he’s confused. What does that have to do with her activities yesterday? She says, everything. Her children are her world. Is that clear? He says, crystal. He never said she wasn’t an awesome mom. She says, great. At least she’s got that going for her. He asks why she’d risk all that by slashing his tires, and helping Jason escape.
TJ says, the last time he and Shawn spoke, Shawn said the whole parole thing was a non-starter. What changed? Shawn says he guesses he did. He had to set his pride aside. Lucky for him, Alexis helped him see that. TJ says, he’s seen Alexis? and Shawn says, she’s working in the library of the women’s division; he has privileges there. TJ asks how she’s doing, and Shawn says, taking it in stride. TJ asks Shawn to tell Alexis that he and Molly send their love, and Shawn says he will. TJ asks how Alexis helped Shawn, and Shawn says Alexis gave him a good swift kick to the backside. TJ says he’s been the recipient of one of those himself, and Shawn says, Alexis convinced him he didn’t have to pay for a crime he didn’t commit.
Nikolas says, so Cyrus knows about Pentenville, and Laura says Cyrus is aware of his plans. Ava says Nikolas is just trying to protect Alexis, and Laura says she knows, and as admirable as that is, she has to ask. Is that the only reason he wants to buy this prison? Nikolas flashes back to talking to Shawn about his parole, and Shawn saying he wants to nail the person who shot Hayden and thinks they got away with it. He tells Laura, he’s doing this to keep Alexis safe, and eliminate Cyrus’s threat. Go ahead. Tell him he’s making a huge mistake. She says, actually, she’s all for it. This could be the best thing he ever does with that damn Cassadine inheritance he has.
Cyrus admits he hasn’t always shown his more compassionate side to Sasha, and she says, he palmed her off on his driver when she OD’d at his apartment. And she has the sneaking suspicion he didn’t want Brando to take her to the hospital; not with the harbor close by. He says, the truth is, he’s drawn to her. He didn’t realize how much until they wrote this script last week… She says, until he found out she was with someone else. Admit it. He doesn’t have feelings for her. He just wants things he can’t have. Like his family. He says she’s a beautiful young woman with questionable judgement. She laughs, and he says he doesn’t want her to make the same mistake she almost made with him with someone who’s not worthy. She asks what makes Cyrus think he wasn’t worthy? Oh my God. Is that why he sicced Brando on her? He thinks she slept with his driver?
Gladys tells Carly, she had no idea her Brando was the father of Sasha’s baby. In fact, she still doesn’t believe it. She knows how these models are with their designer friends and their designer drugs. Carly says, Sasha’s not lying. If she says Brando’s the father, then Brando’s the father. If Cyrus finds out… Gladys says Carly made her point. She doesn’t need to drive it into the ground. She told Carly about the way Cyrus looked at Sasha. If he finds out his own driver… The doorbell rings, and Carly opens it to Brando. He says he’s sorry to come over unannounced, but she says, perfect timing. He says he thought she cared about Sasha… He sees Gladys and asks what she’s doing there. Gladys says, tell her it’s not true. Tell her that Carly made up the whole thing to manipulate her. Please tell her that Sasha person isn’t carrying his child.
Sam asks if Dante actually has any proof that she tried to impede his investigation, and he says, the security footage from the gas station. She says, no he doesn’t. If he did, he’d be there with a warrant, not an invoice for repair. He says it was worth it to see the look on her face, and she says, now that he’s had his fun, take his tire and… He says, and what? and she says she doesn’t care. Hang it from a tree and make a swing for Rocco out of it. He says she really did do him a favor, and she says he’s welcome. He says if she hadn’t done what she did, he wouldn’t have realized he was on the right track. Jason is hurt, wounded, Britt is with him voluntarily. When he started searching for a location nearby that was tied to Britt, he saw there was a Cassadine property; a nature preserve near the gas station. It’s got a barn, and guess what he found? She says she doesn’t know. A cow? A chicken? A moo-moo here, a cluck-cluck there? He says, better; evidence that Jason and Britt were there. She says does he know what she thinks? He says he’s dying to know, and she says he’s bluffing. If Jason left a trail, he’d be following it. Not haggling with her over the price of a tire. He says he did follow the trail, all the way to the Canadian border. She asks if he alerted the Canadian authorities, and he says, that’s procedure, right? The CPD said there was no sign, but they’d keep an eye out. There it is. That’s what he’s been looking for – that look. It tells him everything he needs to know. She says she’s not going to lie. She’s not going to pretend she’s not happy that Jason got away. But if he wants to build an actual case, he should be looking for the real killer.
Alexis tells Maggie, she tried rehab before; it didn’t last. She’s certain rehab wouldn’t have worked for her this time either, and if she didn’t make a change and do something drastic, she’d never stop drinking. All the rehab centers in all the world wouldn’t have made a damn bit of difference. In her pleading guilty, there was a lot of selfishness. Maggie asks how that was selfish, and Alexis says, besides being accountable for her actions, she knew this was the only place she had a chance of drying out. Maggie says, whatever her reasons, she knows she wouldn’t be leaving if it wasn’t for Alexis. Alexis says, they’re even. By Maggie letting her help, she did something for Alexis. Maggie hugs her, and leaves.
TJ says, all this time, Shawn said he was accepting the consequences of his actions. Shawn says, because he thought he shot Hayden, but he didn’t. TJ asks how he found out, and Shawn says, from Hayden herself. He figured he needed to be punished anyway. He did fire a shot, and someone got hit, just not by him. TJ wishes Shawn had told him sooner, and Shawn says he didn’t want TJ involved. TJ says he is anyway, and now might be the perfect time. Molly is working at the DA’s office, and they can take steps to uncover who really shot Hayden. Shawn says TJ can’t be involved. It’s his battle and he doesn’t want TJ and Molly caught in the middle. TJ asks, why not? and Shawn says, whoever shot Hayden thinks they got away with it, and he needs it to stay that way. If word gets around TJ is looking into it, they might want to stop him. The first step, is getting him out of there. After that, don’t worry. He’ll find out who it was, and make sure they trade places, and they end up right there.
Nikolas says, Laura approves of his efforts to purchase Pentenville? and she says, if it were anyone else, she wouldn’t, but in addition to keeping Alexis safe, he can use this as an opportunity to give back to the community as a whole. Ava says, it’s no wonder Cyrus is against it, and Laura says, privatizing Pentenville doesn’t just have to be about money. It could be about treating the inmates more humanely. Nikolas could be a leader in prison reform. Ava says, it earns respect for the Cassadine name. That’s quite a legacy to leave Spencer. He says, who knew he was an altruist? and Laura says, she knew. Ava says, she didn’t, but she likes it. Laura says, this will put Nikolas on a collision course with Cyrus. Is he prepared to deal with that?
Sasha asks if Cyrus thinks she got it on with his chauffeur. No wonder he’s so defensive. He says, did she? As Brando’s employer, he might have the right to know. I wonder what employee handbook he’s read. She says she knows he’s been away for a long time, but in this millennium, no employer has the right to pry into their employee’s private life. Ugh. She’s not quite right either. He says, it’s about more than that, and she knows it, and she says, he just can’t wrap his head around the fact that she chose someone who wasn’t him. He wants to know the truth? Here it is. She had broken up with Michael, and she needed a lift; know what she means? And there he was, Mr. Nobody, the right man at the right time. So she fell into bed with him, and just her luck, one time was the charm. He says she still hasn’t told him who he was, and she says, patience. She’s saving the best for last.
Carly tells Brando, Sasha told her about the baby, in confidence, but his mother, the human megaphone, overheard Sasha talking about it, and went to Cyrus to congratulate him on being a father. Gladys says she swears she had no idea the baby was his. How could she? He swore he didn’t want kids, and that he was careful. What was he thinking? He says, that’s really none of her business, and she says she’s sure that Gilmore girl (ha-ha) preyed on him and his weaknesses, and before you know it… He says, that’s not what happened. Sasha is smart. Gladys says, not too smart to avoid getting knocked up, and he says, and brave enough to face down Cyrus. When Cyrus commanded she tell him who the father of the baby is, she didn’t give him up, and she never would. Carly says, sooner or later, Cyrus is going to find out who the baby’s father is, and Gladys says, then Brando is a goner, and it will be all her fault.
Dante wonders if there’s a disconnect with Sam. She thinks he believes Jason is guilty, but he doesn’t. in fact, with all due respect to the Commissioner and her investigators, the odds of Jason dumping the gun down the garbage shoot where the victim’s body was discovered are virtually non-existent. Add to that, the only witness is Sonny’s perpetually resentful cousin Gladys, it’s obvious Jason is being framed. She asks, then why is Dante hunting Jason? He just admitted he thinks Jason is innocent. He says, Jason is innocent of murdering Franco; he’s guilty of escaping from the hospital, and all the charges attached. Dante is on the force full time. He doesn’t get to pick and choose what assignments he takes. He was given Jason’s case, so that’s what he’s going to do. She says, good luck with that, and he senses she doesn’t believe he’s going to have success. She says she’s heard he’s an excellent detective, and he says, not excellent enough to keep her from slashing his tires. She says, they’re back to that? and he says he just wanted to thank her again. She says, for what? and he says he wouldn’t be walking around free, wearing this badge, if she hadn’t stopped him from killing Peter, and got him into therapy with Doc. He’s deeply grateful. She says she can’t believe he actually has a heart. For what it’s worth (🍷) she knows he would have done the same for her. He says he would.
TJ asks if Shawn has any idea who actually shot Hayden, and Shawn says he’s thought a lot about it over the years. They give you plenty of time to think in here. So far, he’s drawn a blank, but if Alexis can find a way to get him out of there, he’ll be in a better position to figure it out, and settle the score. TJ says, settle the score how? but Shawn tells him not to worry. He’ll leave justice to the law. He has way too much to live for, starting with TJ’s graduation. Promise he’ll save Shawn a seat? TJ says, I promise… dad.
Nikolas says, if somebody has to draw a line in the sand, let it be a Cassadine, and Ava says, or better yet, two Cassadines. He’s not going to have to face Cyrus alone. Laura says they’re all in this together, because she’s sure Cyrus is going to try and find a way to get back at them for the family dinner at Windymere, and using it as a decoy to let Jason get away. Ava says, something else happened that night. Sources tell her that Cyrus ended up on the losing end of the meeting of the Five Families balsamic vinegar. Laura says, that’s what happened? He did mention something about Carly pulling some sort of… power play? Ava says, she did more than that. From what she hears, Carly really handed Cyrus his ass. She wishes she could have been there to see it.
Sasha tells Cyrus, she referred to him as Mr. Nobody because she didn’t know his name. They agreed up front; no names, no sob stories, no excuses. He wanted what she wanted, and vice versa. Cyrus says, so he has no idea she’s expecting, and she says, how? She doesn’t even have his phone number. What can she say? He had a great body, and looked great in the dark. Cyrus says, what if he told her that he only wants to know his name so he can make sure he lives up to his responsibilities? She tells him, she would say, he’s not her father, this is not the 1950s, and no one is responsible for her baby except for her.
Carly says, for once Gladys speaks the truth. Her big mouth could get Brando killed. Gladys says, good God, and Carly says, of course (🍷) there’s one person who could stop Cyrus. Brando says, who’s that? and Carly says, his mother. Gladys says, all right. Carly wins. How can she protect her boy? Carly says, the only way to ensure Brando’s safety, is to make sure Cyrus is no longer a threat. That means putting him back in prison where he belongs. Brando asks how his mother is supposed to swing that, and Carly says, by recanting her statement. By confessing Cyrus paid her to lie about who and what she saw the night Franco was murdered.
Sam tells Dante, now that they got that settled, how much does she owe him? She looks at the bill, and he says, it’s not just a matter of money. If she pulled that crap with another cop, she’d be in a holding cell, and she knows it. She says, so he thinks she took advantage of their prior relationship? and he says, now that she mentions it… She says if he feels duty bound to arrest her, do it. Just know that he’s probably going to have to read Scout books every night to get her to sleep, and she’ll probably be cellmates with her mom. He says he’ll probably hear it from Monica when he’s at the Q’s, or his mom will be shooting daggers at him for putting her away. Bottom line is, he’s willing to call it quits if she stays out of his way. And if she pays for the tires. She says, obviously she’ll pay for the tires, but she doesn’t have that kind of cash in the house. Will he take a check? He says, yeah. If it bounces, he knows where to find her.
Shawn goes into the prison library, and Alexis asks if she can interest him in another book or a periodical. He says he has all the reading material he needs, but there is something she can do for him. She says, name it, and he says, he just got a visit from TJ. She asks how Molly and TJ are, and he says, great. Molly just graduated from law school, and started a job with the DA. She says, excellent, and he says, TJ’s about to graduate from med school, and he’d like to be there. TJ called him dad, so he’s going to take her up on the offer to get him out of there.
Laura tells Ava and Nikolas, she can’t say she’s thrilled to hear that Carly decided to take over Sonny’s organization, but she guesses with Jason being unavailable, Carly will do anything she can to protect the family. Nikolas suggests they show Cyrus how solid their family is, and throw a great wedding. Ava says, it’s such a nice sentiment, but a family fête isn’t exactly going to stop Cyrus in his tracks. Nikolas says, they’ll show him that they have something he covets, but will never possess. Laura says she’s all for symbolic gestures, but they need an actual plan.
Cyrus asks if Sasha has ever considered that he might want to be part of her life, and might want her to be part of his. She says, not for a second, and he says, a man can only have so much money, so much real estate, so much… She says, power? Isn’t that why he’s so desperate to find out who the father of her baby is? As long as he’s a mystery, he has power over Cyrus. The man who did what Cyrus couldn’t. The man who got what Cyrus couldn’t get. Let her tell him about Mr. Nobody. He was young, he was great in bed, and he put a new life inside her. In short, he was the opposite of Cyrus. Cyrus says, they’ll talk again, but she says, let’s not, and he leaves.
Gladys says she told the police the truth, and Brando says, just stop. They all know Jason didn’t kill Franco. She got there after Franco was shot, so there’s no way she saw Jason get rid of the gun. Gladys says she did see it, and Carly says, no she didn’t. Gladys made the whole thing up, and the only way she would do that is if somebody paid her to do it. Brando says, they all know that someone is Cyrus, and Carly says, if Gladys wants to save Brando from Cyrus, tell the truth, before it’s too late.
Sam hands Dante a check, and asks if they’re done here. He says, the next time she gets the urge to go rogue, remember she might not get a cop who’s as nice, or handsome, or charming as he is. She rolls her eyes, and he says, there might actually be consequences. He starts to leave, and she says, whoa, whoa, whoa. Isn’t he forgetting something? She gestures toward the tire, and he says, oh no. That’s hers. She paid for it. She rolls it toward him, and he takes it, says, see ya, and leaves. She says he’s such nice guy. She starts to go upstairs, when there’s a knock at the door. She turns around and says, let her guess. He has more questions for her. She opens the door, and sees the check ripped up on the hallway floor, but Dante is gone.
Alexis tells Shawn, remember, this parole hearing isn’t about innocence or guilt. It’s about two things. The first thing is, his progress inside the wall. The second thing is – and this is important – they want to see remorse for the crime he’s committed, because that way they can trust he won’t do it again when they let him out. He says he can’t in good conscience, express remorse for a crime he didn’t commit, and she says, what about the crime he did commit? Does he have remorse for that? He says, for pulling the trigger? Yes. For botching the job and not hitting the target? No. He’s glad he missed. She says, let’s look at it this way. What were the circumstances that led up to Hayden Barnes’s shooting? They’ll see where that takes them.
Nikolas says he’s not going to sit by, and let Cyrus threaten his family. If he wants a war… Laura says, no. She didn’t ask him there for a war council. She’s still the mayor, and committed to fighting Cyrus by any legal means at her disposal. Ava says, she and Nikolas aren’t exactly model citizens, and Laura says, she didn’t hear that. Ava says, but what Laura is saying is, she’d prefer it if they didn’t do anything outside the rule of law, and Nikolas adds, or is she saying she’d just prefer not to know about it if they do? Ava says, plausible deniability is definitely something they can go with. Nikolas says, they might need to. Not just to defend themselves, but their family, which definitely includes Laura. Ava says, if the three of them present a united front, and Carly continues to hold up the Corinthos end of things, she thinks Cyrus is going to find himself very isolated. A man on an island, so to speak. Laura says, that could end up being the worst case scenario. It could make Cyrus so desperate, he becomes even more dangerous.
Sasha sits down, and breaths a sigh of relief. She looks at one of her headshots and says, dodged a bullet tonight, didn’t you, Gilmore? But only for the moment. Let’s be real. No amount of avoiding is going to stop Cyrus, and he can’t find out about Brando. She rubs her belly, and says, they’ll just have to stay one step ahead of him.
Gladys swears she’d do anything for Brando, and Carly asks why she senses a but coming. Gladys says, if she makes an enemy out of Cyrus, he’ll take it out on both of them, mother and son. There’s got to be a better way. Gladys tells Brando, he works for the man. He knows what Cyrus is capable of. Tell Carly. He says, Sonny trusted Carly. So does he. What do they do? Carly says, get Gladys to recant her statement, and implicate Cyrus. Once Gladys is on record with the police, Cyrus will be powerless to stop the investigation, and will be on his way to Pentenville in no time.
Tomorrow, Robin returns, Anna tells someone that they can’t get past this until they get through it, and Robert tells Annie that Sean’s case files might hold the key.
Million Dollar Listing New York
Ryan got a tour of Marc Jacobs’s townhouse from Marc’s husband, Charlie (Char). We saw the photos from Architectural Digest, but since they were moving to Westchester, just about everything had already been moved or gone to auction, including a lot of the fixtures. In his interview, Ryan said, where’s all the stuff? All the Marc Jacobs-ness of his house had been removed. Char said they were looking for a fresh start, but had done renovation on the townhouse, and everything had been a considered decision. Even mostly empty, it was pretty impressive at 4796 square feet. There were gold leafed ceilings that only two people in the world were equipped to craft, a 100-carat gold ceiling, and a galley kitchen with Meiele appliances. I actually know what both of those things are, so points for me. I also know Meiele appliances are way out of my price league. The townhouse was four stories, and the primary suite 945 square feet. There were only three bedrooms, but five baths, and a custom bult mahogany closet that you know was fabulous. Apparently, Marc had so many pairs of shoes, there were still a large amount there. The master bath had $100K of stonework put into it, and Ryan called it a marble mecca. Marc’s dog Neville was there, a Spuds McKenzie dog with over 200K followers on Instagram. There was a garden courtyard, and a kosher kitchen downstairs. Ryan explained in his interview, it was the only way to have two full kitchens in a townhouse in NYC, which was news to me. Not that I’ve ever looked into it. Ryan said he wanted to sell it quietly, like a Picasso off-market. His potential commission was $330K.
Steve was looking for comps for the 3000 square foot apartment on Baxter Street (I’m pretty sure I’ve passed this building) that bordered Soho, Little Italy, Nolita, and Chinatown. I know how difficult finding comps can be, since there aren’t many for my type of house in my area. Although his problem was that each of those neighborhoods had different price points for the same thing. Steve said the outside had zero curb appeal, and it was between neighborhoods; the apartment had an identity crisis. Not to mention the lobby was nothing to write home about. Steve said he felt like people would think it was in Chinatown because of the exterior. He divvied up his team to look for comps in each neighborhood.
Tyler had been given a listing on 67th Street, that he’d missed out on previously. He met the owner and his daughter at the apartment, where he’d done a staging. He said the apartment was dripping with charm, and he’d staged it to reflect classic New York Upper East Side architecture, which included a formal dining room. In Tyler’s interview, he said the key to good staging was neutral tones and a low profile, so no matter what the taste of the potential buyer, they’d see the beauty of the space. Ryan asked owner Robert about the noise level, since the apartment overlooked a police station and a firehouse, and Robert said they were good about not putting on the sirens until they got to the corner, but they’d gotten used to it. I understand this too. My first residence in NYC was across from a firehouse. When I first moved in, the noise would keep me awake, but Robert wasn’t lying. I got so used to it, when I would visit my dad in Ohio, I couldn’t sleep because it was too quiet. True story. Tyler said second floor apartments were notoriously challenging to sell. One of the reasons the owner hadn’t chosen to list with Tyler before, was that Tyler advised him that his price was too high and it should be staged. Robert hadn’t listened, and the apartment sat there for two years. In his interview, Tyler said that when you didn’t get a listing, it was devastating, and a blow to your ego; you questioned your own advice. This was his chance at redemption. He couldn’t f*** it up.
In Ryan’s interview, he said, the challenge with Marc Jacobs’s townhouse was that most of the awesomeness had been boxed up and sold at auction by Sotheby’s. His strategy was to give a private showing every fifteen minutes, and hopefully start a bidding war. Doing showings back-to-back made people feel like they wanted it more, because there was limited time. A price of $11 million had been decided on, Char agreeing to sell it faster for less. Ryan said it was a lot of square feet to show in fifteen minutes – 330 square feet a minute. One potential buyer offered $9 million, which Ryan thought was too low, but it was an offer. He thought offers would keep coming in if he kept up the momentum. KJ had buyers who were obsessed with the townhouse, but they had three kids, and would need to renovate for another bedroom. She wondered what was up with the missing fixtures.
Steve said he’d taken a risk, asking the Baxter Street seller to wait 24-hours before he came up with the proper price. The apartment had great characteristics, and he wanted the right number, which he said was imperative to the success of the sale. He suggested $5.5 million, but the seller whined that they were on the cusp of Soho, Tribeca, Nolita, and Little Italy, and Steve said, it was also on the cusp of Chinatown. He knew it was difficult for the seller to think of pricing below his expectations of $6.1 million. He got that there was an attachment, but said he wasn’t a broker who was going to tell them what they wanted to hear. He gave them what the reality was. The seller agreed, and Steve’s potential commission was $165K.
Tyler and his assistant Kemba auditioned models to pose as fireman and policeman at the 67th Street open. In Tyler’s interview, he said, buyers didn’t like surprises, so they were going to be very upfront. The auditions were a hard job, but somebody had to do it. We saw a lot of hot guys, and Tyler hoped they could distract the potential buyers from the noise outside, and bring him offers.
Steve took it to the streets, deciding to bring in samples from local restaurants in the neighborhoods surrounding Baxter Street. He made up handouts with a map, showing how to quickly get everywhere, and listing the coolest things in each neighborhood, as well as the restaurants featured. The open was going to have a distinct food theme. They got macaroons from SoHo, meatballs from Little Italy, Matcha something or other from Nolita, and dumplings from Chinatown. I wanted everything, especially the dumplings, but settled for a turkey sandwich. Steve admitted the exterior sucked, but the lobby was going to be redone soon, and the building had the money in reserve, so he knew it was happening. He focused on selling the location, and said the beauty of it, was that it was in the middle of everything. In his interview, he said potential buyers and brokers showed interest, but he’d been doing this long enough to know not to get excited without a solid, bonafide offer. Yep. I never count on the money until it’s in the bank.
Ryan had made a promise to sell the Marc Jacobs townhouse quickly, exclusively, and quietly, but made it clear that if it didn’t work, he’d have to put it on the market. The pre-market showing was a success, and in KJ’s interview, she said it was perfect for her buyer. It was not only stunning, but a piece of New York history. She offered Ryan $9.5 million, but in his interview, Ryan said, Marc Jacobs doesn’t do bargain rack. KJ said she was on her way somewhere, and Ryan offered to pick her up. In her interview, she said, there was never a free ride, ever, but she was willing to sit in Ryan’s car to get a deal for her client. Ryan liked having the buyer’s agent trapped in the car, being able to use it when calling the seller. They went back and forth a little, but it was deal at $10.5 million.
Next time, two apartments at 4000 square feet each, and Ryan has a The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe themed open house, and dresses as a lion.
🕶 Father, Godfather, Friend, and Spy…
All about Sean Donely.
👨🏻🏫 Cameron Knows…
Apparently, he’s not going to tell us though.
🎡 Spinning Off…
Ryan’s solo act will begin on June 15th.
https://www.bravotv.com/the-daily-dish/ryan-serhant-brooklyn-townhouse-renovation-new-bravo-series
https://www.bravotv.com/million-dollar-listing-ryans-renovation
😆 Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha…
Eboni expects a lot.
https://pagesix.com/2021/05/18/eboni-k-williams-got-through-to-ramona-singer-with-help-talk/
👭 The OGs Have Bonded…
Motherhood makes for strange bedfellows.
https://pagesix.com/2021/05/16/shahs-stars-mercedes-golnesa-are-friends-now/
🛫 Exploration…
Why can’t we just call it being single and doing what you want?
https://pagesix.com/2021/05/16/golnesa-gharachedaghi-of-shahs-of-sunset-explores-polyamory/
🎮 Not Only Another Pretty Face…
She’s not just Jennifer’s Body anymore, but Jennifer’s brain.
💃 Still Turning the Beat Around…
The grande dame of Studio 54 celebrates her 80th.
https://pagesix.com/2021/05/18/nikki-haskell-turns-80-with-studio-54-themed-bash/
She knows everybody.
https://www.lamag.com/culturefiles/nikki-haskell-80/
🛍 Hitting the Sack…
Until we meet tomorrow, for soap and tea, stay safe, stay benevolent, and stay not being a human megaphone like Gladys. It will just end up causing trouble.
What I Watched - TV With Theresa 