What I Watched Today
(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)
General Hospital
Peter lies at the bottom of the stair landing, blood pooling around his head, and his and Maxie’s new passports beside him. Someone sees him (it looks like one of the hospital staff), and runs down the stairs.
Four hours earlier. On the phone, Peter tells Chloe to check in with him as soon as she gets to the house. He wants to make sure they’re on schedule for Louise’s birth. He checks out the new fake passports for him and Maxie.
Chloe comes at Maxie with a syringe, and Maxie raises the fireplace poker, saying, you’ll never get my baby, bitch! She whacks Chloe in the knee, and Chloe drops to the floor. Maxie runs outside, screaming for help.
Sam is at the baseball field when Dante shows up. She says, first the PCPD. Now he joins the softball league. She’d say that’s a pretty major comeback. He sees she has a bottle of water, and asks if she has another one of those. She puts her foot on the cooler and says, team rules. She takes a sip, and says, it is refreshing though. He puts down his equipment, and says he’s been watching her out there. She says, scouting out the competition? and he says, maybe a little bit. She really takes her pre-season training seriously. He’s never seen anyone practice sliding as much as she does. Or was she just tripping over herself?
Britt says she never pegged Jason as the love ‘em and leave ‘em type. He says, that’s not… She says, that was fun; bye, and he says he’s not leaving. She asks if he didn’t say he had to go back to Port Charles, but he says, just for a few days to figure things out. She says, two days, two weeks, he’s still leaving, and he takes her hand. He says he just needs her to trust him and stay there. He promises he’s coming back for her. She kisses him.
At the hospital, Carly gets a call from Unknown. It’s Cyrus, who says she has something he wants, and as it turns out, he has something she wants even more. We see he has Spinelli, and she says she has no idea what he’s talking about. He says by all means, let him explain, and tells Spinelli, say hello. He holds the phone up to Spinelli, who tells Carly not to worry about him; he’ll be fine. She says, Spinelli? and Cyrus says, her friend speaks the truth. He’ll be fine… as long as she hands over Gladys.
Sam tells Dante, she’s sorry. A lazy, tragically confident PCPD would have no idea what it’s like to be a committed player. He says, commitment? Is that what she calls that slide? She says, head first, baby. Practice hard, play hard. He asks if that’s the Aurora model, and she says, it should be, but just so he knows, they do intend to win this year. He laughs, and she asks, what’s so funny? He says it’s just that they kind of suck. They’ve been in the basement ever since they came into the league. She says, there’s a first time for everything, and you know what they say about the underdog? It gives you the mental advantage. He asks if she knows what would give them the actual advantage. Someone on their team who knows how to hit.
Jason tells Britt, it doesn’t have to be there. He can have Spinelli fly her to the island. She says, so the options are Puerto Rico or Canada. She’ll stay in Canada. He says, so she’ll stay? and she says, for now, but let’s be clear. She’s not some package he can deposit somewhere, or a damsel in distress just waiting for his orders. He says he’s not ordering her to do anything, and she says, really? He says he’s asking her to stay there until he can make it safe. Please. Just give him a chance to make this right. She says, make what right? and he says he’s the one who got her involved in this whole Cyrus investigation. He opened the door, and she was there. He knows she took him up on the chance – she says, really – but he still feels responsible. She says, truth? She would like to think that she would have figured out Cyrus was using the hospital on her own, and she would have made the choice to work against him, not turning a blind eye. And maybe she would have, but what she knows is, when Jason showed her who Cyrus really was, when he opened that door, she walked through. Not because he forced her, but because she wanted to. He says he gets that, and she says, okay. And she gets that he was a professional rescuer, but that’s not how she operates. Sitting around while the big strong man fixes things. And not to mention, sexual performance notwithstanding, he’s not fully healed. On top of that, he’s the fugitive. Maybe she should be the one going back to Port Charles. He says he’s a fugitive running from the law; she’s running from Cyrus. She says, Cyrus wants him dead, and he says, no question, but that’s not why those guys were in her office that night. They were there to kill her, sent by Cyrus, in his own hospital. Does she know how risky that is? That’s how bad he wanted her gone. So please, stay there, stay safe. Give him enough time to end this.
Carly tells Cyrus, Gladys is a woman, not a library book. She’s not sure if she can even get access to Gladys. He says, for her friend’s sake, she’d better figure it out. Pier 55, one hour; her, not one of her minions. She’d better not keep him waiting. He hangs up, and Carly says, son of a bitch. Nikolas and Ava, who have been just standing around watching all this time, walk over to her. Nikolas asks, what happened? and Ava says, that didn’t sound good. Carly says she can’t talk about this right now, and Ava says, let her guess; Cyrus. He has some kind of leverage on Carly. Most likely holding someone for ransom? It’s written all over Carly’s face, and it’s how the man does business. They have a couple of very important interests in common – keeping Avery safe, and stopping Cyrus. They can do this together. Let her help. Carly says, Cyrus has Spinelli. He wants Gladys in exchange, and she has one hour. Nikolas says, Gladys is in surgery, and Carly says she knows. Ava says, what she needs is a stand-in for Gladys. Carly asks if she has any ideas, and Ava says, her.
Peter peruses the passports.
Maxie stumbles through the woods, and tells Louise that she has to find a road… or any semblance of human life actually. Where are they? Just stay put until she can find someone to help them. She leans on a rock, and says, or better yet, a hospital. She has contraction, and says, Louise can’t be born yet.
Britt asks what Jason means by, it’s on him. Getting leverage over Cyrus, or getting Cyrus arrested? He says, he’s going to end it. She’s a good doctor, right? That’s what she does? She says she tries, and he says, this is what he does. Not as often as people think, but he’s capable, and it’s time. She thinks he’s underselling himself, and he motions for her to sit with him. He says, when Sonny first gave him a job, he was grateful, not just for the work, but to have someone treat him like a competent human being. He figured out pretty fast how well he could use a gun, and it was a skill he could develop. Sonny needed an enforcer, somebody he could trust. She says, he needed somebody to do a job, and Jason did it well. Jason says he never questioned if it was the right choice to make; he just made it. But now the choice is, when and how to use that skill, and when the circumstances call for it. This is one of them. She asks if he’s proud of that skill. He doesn’t say anything, and she puts her hand on his knee. He says, no, but he’s grateful for it. He’s able to use it to protect the people he loves. She says it’s given him a lot of grief. Don’t worry. There’s more where that comes from. An endless amount actually. She sees now that people make a lot of assumptions about what he does, and how he lives his life. They think he doesn’t feel, but she thinks he does. He takes her hand.
Nikolas tells Ava, this is insane. She’s not standing in for Gladys. She says, the only way to stop Cyrus, is to stop him, and he asks what that even means. She says, look at the situation. He’s taking hostages. He tried to kill somebody, and he failed. So this man, who hasn’t made a single mistake until now, is spiraling out. He’s getting sloppy. He’s leaving himself open. This is their chance. Nikolas says, no, and she says, all she has to do is fool him long enough for Carly’s people to make their move; isn’t that right? Carly says, that’s right, and Nikolas says he doesn’t care how vulnerable she thinks Cyrus is, this isn’t happening. Carly says, if Ava is serious about this, she can set it up so Ava isn’t in any danger. Nikolas asks if this is some kind of a joke. Carly isn’t a mob boss. She’s a widow, and she’s making it up as she goes along. They think Cyrus is spiraling? How did he get his hands on Spinelli or Gladys in the first place? Because Carly is out of control. He tells Ava, come on, but Ava says she’s not going anywhere. She loved him, and she supported him when he did what he thought he needed to do with Cyrus’s mother, even if she didn’t agree with it. Now it’s his turn to support her. He says, excuse him if he’s not going to stick around and watch this, and walks out. Carly says Ava doesn’t have to do this, and Ava says she knows. Carly says she needs some time to iron out some details. She asks if Ava knows Sonny’s guy Trent, and Ava says she does. Carly tells her to meet him at the hospital entrance. Ava starts to leave, and Carly says, thank you. Ava says what Carly doesn’t seem to understand is, she wants this bastard taken down just as much as Carly does. She leaves, and Carly gets on her phone. She tells Brick to stop whatever he’s doing, and assemble a team right now.
Chloe struggles to get up, grabs the poker, the syringe, and her phone, and limps out of the house. I’d limp on into hiding if I were her.
There’s a knock at Peter’s door, and he opens it to find Valentin, looking grim. He says, what do you want? and Valentin asks if Peter doesn’t have his hands full, toying with Chase. Why does he have to torment an innocent pregnant woman on top of it?
Maxie cries out, wondering why she has to have her children in the great outdoors. First James, now Louise. Can’t Louise wait a hot minute to discover nature? She has to be born there? She has another contraction, and says, okay, okay. She hears her. Louise is ready to be born. This is happening, but trust her, it’s better than what Louise’s father had planned.
Carly says, great. Brick understands her instructions?… She’ll let him know when everything’s in place. She looks at her phone, and her hand hovers above the screen.
Sam says Dante seems to know an awful lot about a softball league he hasn’t played in for years. He says he missed it, and she asks if he doesn’t want to get out there. He asks if she’s making fun of him, and she says he’s cute. He says she means tough, but she tells him that she said cute. He says he can’t wait to play them. He really hopes she tries to steal third base. He’s going to tag her so hard, she won’t know what hit her, but she will know because it’s going to be this glove. She says, he’s playing third base? but he says, no; shortstop. She says she plays shortstop. Maybe she can actually give him a few pointers. He says, that would be great, and she says, gotcha. She would never do that. He’s her enemy. He says he was just humoring her, and she says he’s so full of himself. He says he should be. He literally has thousands of hours of baseball under his belt. From stickball to little league, to JV, to varsity. She says, ooh, wow. Is there a bomber jacket? He says she knows his mom has it. Not to mention the lifetime he’s spent watching minor league and major league baseball. He can literally rate and rank any player within ten minutes of watching them. She asks how he rates her.
Jason asks if Britt understands now why she has to stay there, and she says, she sees that’s how she stays safe, but what’s the point? He asks what that even means, and she says, she fully accepts the fact that Cyrus is trying to kill her, and could kill her, if she goes back to Port Charles before he ends this. But if they’re honest, Cyrus would be doing her a favor. Jason says, no, and she says, he would. She has a death sentence; not just any death sentence. The most horrible, agonizing, horrific death a person could possibly experience. So Cyrus shooting her, or drugging he, or whatever he plans to do, would be a picnic in comparison. He asks if she really believes that, and she says she does. She finally gets what it means to live like you’re dying. When she thinks about all the fries she didn’t eat, or the wine she didn’t drink… all the chances she didn’t take. She’s not fearless like he is. The idea of being in pain or uncomfortable, no thank you. And death was the scariest of all, but she’s not afraid of it anymore. Now that she knows what’s coming, it makes everything – and she means everything – that’s coming look better. He says, what if between now and then is thirty years? and she says, it could be six months. He says, all that time, she could have lived. She wipes away tears, and he says, it’s her life. It’s her choice, but for what it’s worth (🍷) he’d still like to get to know her six months from now. She says she’d like to get to know him too. His phone rings, and he says, Carly. Carly asks how healthy he is, and he says, what happened?
Valentin tells Peter, Brook is being watched, and Peter expects him to believe he’s not responsible? Peter asks what use he’d have for Brook and her child? and Valentin says Peter finds use for a lot of random people. Detective Chase for instance. Peter asks how Chase is feeling, and Valentin asks if Peter thinks he has him over a barrel because he’s toying with Chase’s life. Peter says, doesn’t he? and Valentin says, to a point. If Chase dies, Anna will be devastated, and he doesn’t want to see that. But if Peter starts messing with his daughter or her mother, he’ll kill Peter. Peter says, killing Chase in the process, and Valentin says, so be it. Peter asks if Valentin thinks he’s an idiot. He knows Valentin could end him. Anna’s wracked with guilt, but he knows Valentin. The rest of the world be damned, what he wants is his children. Valentin says, damn right, and Peter says, there are two things he knows for certain. One, he’s still breathing because of Valentin’s sentimental attachment to Anna, and two, making trouble with Valentin would be a death sentence. So if someone is following Brook, it’s not him.
Maxie says, this is all going to work out. She’s going to get Louise born, and figure out what to do next. So whatever that is, she’s going to do everything in her power to protect Louise. She puts her robe on the ground in front of a rock, and gets down on it, leaning against the rock. She says, this is good actually. They say that the third baby comes faster than the first two, right? It’s just you and me. Let’s do this. A light shines in her face, and says, no.
Carly tells Jason, put Britt on the phone. He hesitates, and she says, put Britt on the phone or she’s hanging up. Jason hands Britt the phone, and Carly asks, how’s Jason? And before Britt asks, this is life or death. She’s begging Britt to tell her the truth. Britt says, he’s remarkably healed. Carly asks if she’s sure, and Britt says, his wound is clean and closing. She wouldn’t recommend lifting anything heavy, or getting into a boxing ring, but he’s not in danger of bleeding out anymore. Carly says, okay, and asks Britt to put Jason back on the phone. Britt hands the phone to Jason, who asks, what’s going on? Carly says, Cyrus has Spinelli, and Jason asks what Cyrus wants. Carly says, he wants Gladys. She was going to exonerate Jason, and Cyrus grabbed her. There was a gunfight, and Gladys was hit. He asks if Carly is okay, and she says she is, but Gladys is in the hospital. She couldn’t give Gladys to Cyrus if she wanted to. He says, that’s fine. All that matters is that she agree to an exchange. She says, it’s not like Cyrus gave her much choice. She’s supposed to meet him on Pier 55 in less than an hour. He says they can work with that; have Trent handle the trade. She says they can’t do that. Cyrus made it clear he only wants to deal with her. Jason says she has to make it clear that she won’t give Gladys to Cyrus until she sees Spinelli for herself. She says she’s got it, and he asks if she has somebody who can be the decoy. She says it’s all set, and he tells her, don’t get too close. Whatever happens with Cyrus or Spinelli, don’t get within fifteen feet. She says, okay. Brick’s on another line; she has to go. They hang up, and Britt says she hopes Jason knows she lied for him. Everything she told Carly was a load of crap. One punch to his stomach, or anything else, and he’s definitely bleeding out. He says he won’t get punched in the stomach, and she shakes her head and smiles. He says he has to go. She says she knows, and he kisses her goodbye, and leaves. She goes to the door, and watches.
Dante says Sam is actually pretty good. She has good mobility, she’s quick. She could use some accuracy help, and her hitting is a little weak. She says, weak? She hit every single one of those balls tonight. He says, exactly, and she asks what he means. He says her pitcher is either throwing her easy pitches because he knows she’s the boss, or he’s a bad pitcher. Either way, she’s going to get smoked out there because her stance is all wrong. She picks up a bat, and says, show her. He says, no way; she’s the enemy. She says, pleeease. Show me. Please? He gets behind her, and tells her to bend her knees more. Sit, sit, sit. Arms up. Put her hands back by her shoulder. All right. He touches her chin, making her look at him, and says, the most important part is, don’t take her eyes off the pitcher. How’s that feel? She says, good, and he says, good. Forget everything he just said. She might actually start hitting the ball now, and they’ll get out of the basement. She says they’re headed to the finals, and he says he’ll believe it when he sees it. She says, keep your eyes peeled, Falconari, and hands him back the bat. She leaves, and he says he will.
Maxie squints, and sees it’s… Roger Howarth! Finally! She says, thank God he’s not Peter. He says, thank God she’s not a bear, and she says, there are bears out here? He says, tons of them. They love themselves some blueberries. He was coming around the bend the other day, and saw the most beautiful mama bear, and she had these adorable three baby cubs, and he ran the fastest mile he’s ever run. She tells him, you don’t say, and he says, so who’s Peter? She has another contraction, and asks if he wants to call 9-1-1, or call someone, anyone; she doesn’t care who. He says, cell service is a little spotty out there. So how long has it been between contractions? She says she’s not really sure, and he says, okay. Her choice. He can wander around and try to find some spotty cell service, or he can deliver her baby for her. She says, oh yeah? He happens to be a doctor? He says he is, and she says, seriously? He says he happens to be a doctor, and she says, he’s not some crazy mountain man nutjob? He says, you’re the one having a baby in the forest, ma’am, and she says, he makes a good point, and don’t call her ma’am again. He says, noted, and holds out his hand, saying, Austin. She shakes his hand, and says, Maxie. He says, nice to meet you, Miss Maxie. Is she ready to have this baby? She says, not even a little bit.
Peter says Valentin has always been good at prioritizing, and Valentin says, thank you. Peter says, top of Valentin’s list, Charlotte and the baby. Then Brook, because she’s carrying said baby, and Anna and Nina, women he supposedly loves. But at the end of the day, they all get sacrificed… for the children. He knows that about Valentin. That’s why he would never go near Charlotte, or the baby, and therefore, Brook. Valentin says, strange. For the first time in months, he feels Peter is telling him the truth. Peter says he is. Now if Valentin is through threatening his life, there’s the door. Valentin says, not yet. Anna’s left town for the funeral of an old friend. Peter says, that’s bold, and Valentin says he knows, but if she hadn’t gone, it would have raised eyebrows. In the meantime, he’s watching over Chase, and there’s something he wants from Peter. He’d like a dose of the antidote on hand. Peter asks why he’d do that, and Valentin says, Chase is staying at the Quartermaine mansion. As it happens, he and Charlotte are also staying at the Quartermaine mansion. Should Chase fall ill, he would like a dose of the antidote on hand, ready to be administered. Or would Peter prefer Chase dead? Peter says, and as Valentin so aptly pointed out, lose his upper hand.
Cyrus waits at the pier, when Carly arrives with her bodyguards. He asks, where’s Gladys? and she says, not before she sees Spinelli. He gives a sidelong glance, and two of his guys come in, one on either side of a bound and gagged Spinelli. Cyrus says, and now? She says, Gladys wasn’t feeling very cooperative. Outside, Trent gets out of a limo, and walks around to the other side, where Ava is sitting in the back seat.
Carly tells Cyrus, Gladys is locked up in the car, and Cyrus looks at one of his guys, who leaves. Cyrus says Carly should be grateful he’s taking Gladys off her hands. She is a piece of work. Carly says, before the exchange takes place, she has an alternative she’d like to discuss. He says, oh? and she says, there’s another way they can resolve this. He smiles.
Peter says he doesn’t have the antidote on him, but he’ll have a vial prepared for Valentin. Valentin says, good; he’ll go. He heads for the door, when Peter says, there is one thing he still admires about Valentin. Valentin says, what’s that? and Peter says, that he’s a good father for Charlotte. He’s somehow managed to make himself a better man for her. Probably only for her, because in every other facet of life, Valentin is an awful person. (Pot, meet kettle.) Valentin asks if Peter has a point, and Peter says, his point is, Valentin showed him that it’s possible. And he intends to do the same with his child. Be a better man – for her. Don’t get in his way. Valentin says, good luck with that, which we all know means, all the luck in the world won’t help you. Peter may find it’s more difficult than he thinks. We see Valentin was carrying a weapon as he closes the door.
Maxie has another contraction, and Roger Howarth Todd Franco Austin says, the contractions are coming more quickly now, and Maxie says, and monumentally more painful. He says, it’s no big deal. She just has to breathe. She says, easy for him to say. He sits cross legged and tells her, in through the nose and out through the nose. She breathes with him, and says she bets he wonders why she’s out there. He says, not at all. It’s his job to keep her calm and focused. He asks if she has other children, and she says, this is her third. He says, so a little medical history. The other deliveries were easy? and she says, it depends on what you consider easy. He asks how far along she is, and she says, full term. Her doctor actually recommended she induce. She’s been doing pre-natal yoga, and taking her folic acid religiously. He says, folic acid, awesome! This is all great news. She says, except for the giving birth in the woods with a stranger part. He says, that’s the best part. It’s going to be a great story she can tell her little… Does she know what she’s having? She says, a girl; Louise. A contraction comes, and he claps his hands, and says, they’re going to bring baby Louise into the world. Is she ready? He says, on the E of three, he wants her to bear down. Can she do that? She nods, and he says, one.. two… three. She bears down, and yells.
Carly tells Cyrus, look around. The wheels are coming off his bus. He says, is that right? and she says, yeah. He barely managed to grab Gladys, the police know she was abducted now, and there was a shooting at a warehouse. Everyone knows he’s losing control, and about to be exposed for the criminal that he is. He says, and she has a solution he gathers. She says, cut your losses, and disappear. It’s his best bet. Hand over Spinelli, and walk away. It’s not like he doesn’t have the money and the resources, and he’ll get no pushback from her. Just a clear path to the exit. He’s a smart man; take the out.
Ava tells Trent, something’s wrong. This is taking too long. He needs to move his people into position. He says he doesn’t work for her. They go when Carly says they go.
Cyrus says Carly is very good, very persuasive. She even threw a compliment in there. But if anyone’s out of their depth there, it’s her. He’ll hand it to her husband and Jason. They commanded a great deal of loyalty. The men they worked with continue to follow her orders, but that won’t last. The horrible botch she made of this will show them that she’s no leader at all. So he’s offering her this out of the goodness of his heart. Get her friend and retreat, because if she comes at him again, he will show… no… mercy. Or he could keep Spinelli, and send her a couple of his fingers. She tells one of her bodyguards, get Gladys. Outside, Trent tells Ava, show time, and opens the car door. Ava puts on her humongous black sunglasses.
One of Cyrus’s guys shoves Spinelli front and center. Another comes in and tosses Nikolas to the floor, saying, he found Nikolas lining up a shot. Cyrus grabs Spinelli, and takes out his gun. Carly says, don’t.
Peter picks up his overnight bag, and says he will get the happiness he was denied his entire life, and he will give his daughter everything he never had. He takes a gift box out of his bag; the soap opera wrapping, where you can just take the top off, and not mess it up. He takes out a silver rattle, and I notice that his manicure is better than mine. In his mind, Maxie hands him an infant, and says, say hello to your daddy, sweetheart. He takes the bundle of joy, and Maxie says, isn’t she beautiful? He says, just like her mommy. Out of his daydream, he puts the rattle back in the box, and puts the top on it. He puts it in his bag, and zips the bag up.
Valentin leaves a message for Anna to call him back when she gets the chance. He has a sneaking suspicion Peter is about to make a run for it.
Austin holds the baby wrapped in a blanket, and tells Maxie, she’s here. She’s here and she’s beautiful. Maxie asks if he can hold her up so she can see her. He looks concerned, and takes a towel out of his bag. Maxie says, Austin? What’s wrong? Why isn’t she crying?
Dante’s phone rings, and he says, Falconari… Tell the Commissioner, he’s on his way.
Britt sits on the hearth with the fire going, and thinks about getting busy with Jason.
Carly says, no, and Cyrus asks if this is her big plan. Setting up an ambush with this fool. She says she has no idea why Nikolas is there, but they had a deal. Cyrus says, she blew the deal. Now he and her friend are leaving. Carly will be seeing Spinelli in pieces.
Tomorrow, Maxie asks if Peter sent Austin after them, Chase hears Michael and Willow talking, Sasha says that train has left the station, and Jason tells Cyrus to let Spinelli go, or he’ll drop him.
🎭 New Old Face…
This has been a stellar week on GH for me.
🏞 Children Reuniting…
E!’s new show, Reunion Road Trip, reunites some of the All My Children cast on June 10th.
Million Dollar Listing New York
We started off with some NYC trivia, and Ryan explaining that the first Duane Reade, a drug store chain that’s a staple in NYC, was between Duane and Reed Streets in what is now Tribeca. Ryan was looking at an apartment in the area, and met with owner Jeff, who was also a developer and investor. He’d renovated the humongous 4000 square foot space to move his family into, but after 24 years in their Upper East Side apartment, his wife decided she loved living in that neighborhood. Now he wanted Ryan to sell it. Built in 1855, it had been a wreck of offices, and Jeff created a 4 bedroom, 4 and a half bath apartment, with nearly 10 foot high windows imported from Switzerland. He’d exposed the original detail and original steel columns, and put in luxury appliances along with dual islands in the kitchen. The master bedroom was 17 feet, and had a 14 foot closet. He’d also put in an indoor/outdoor space called a loggia, and yet another shower that could probably fit a dozen people. But wait, there was more. Jeff said he had a secret to show Ryan. In Ryan’s interview, he said he’d seen weird things in Tribeca, like a seller who had a pet kangaroo, also on Duane Street, but this topped them all. Jeff took Ryan through a door to another apartment that he wanted Ryan to sell. It was also 4000 square feet, making a total of 8000 square feet between two buildings. It was similar in design, but not exactly the same. In his interview, Ryan said the building spanned the entire block, and each apartment had its own lobby and elevator. One apartment was furnished, and ready to go for photos and videos. Ryan explained to Jeff that they should only put the furnished one on the market; he didn’t want to compete with himself. If he listed both, he’d cannibalize his buyer base, and potential buyers and brokers would wonder if something was wrong with the property. He said he was going to surprise buyers the same way Jeff had surprised him. Jeff was thinking along the lines of $12 million for both, but Ryan said Tribeca had changed. In his interview, he said, a couple of years ago, you couldn’t buy in Tribeca for under $2000 a square foot, but now it was closer to $1000, because of excess inventory. Jeff agreed to Ryan’s suggestions; keeping the unfurnished apartment off-market, and lowering the price. The potential commission for Ryan was $165K, and he said it was Jackpot Tuesday. In his interview, he said it was as if he was on a date with a beautiful girl, and she surprised him with a friend. He then asked the producers to cut that part, since his wife would be watching.
Steve headed to look for a property at the Ansonia, which had once been a hotel. I knew this building, since I had a friend who used to live there. It was one of the tiniest apartments ever, but it was absolutely charming, with a round window. Steve gave a little history to his driver, saying there had once been a swingers bar in the basement, and at one time, the Continental Baths had been there. Music buffs might recall that Bette Midler got her start there, along with Barry Manilow, who played back-up for her. Steve said when that was gone, the swinger’s club Plato’s Retreat moved in. I have some vague recollection of reading about it closing down. Steve said the Ansonia was legendary, and went on to talk about other renowned buildings like the Chelsea and the Dakota. He asked the driver if he knew what famous person had died in front of the Dakota, but the driver didn’t know it was John Lennon, and then had no idea John Lennon was one of The Beatles. When Steve asked him, he said Led Zeppelin. I not only felt old, I wanted to cry over the lack of this dude’s knowledge. When I was a kid, I knew who people like Bessie Smith and Frank Sinatra were. The seller Ehud took Steve on a tour of the apartment, and Steve said it was like walking through an old film. I loved this apartment so much. It was 2600 square feet, 4 bedrooms, and 3 baths, with 12-foot ceilings, and some round rooms; Steve said it was classic architecture. There were antique fixtures and herringbone floors, and a round room even had a curved door, which Steve had never seen before. In Steve’s interview, he said, with charm came quirks. The layout was funky, the galley kitchen was dark and small, and the previous owner had taken the dishwasher. Ehud said he did investments for the family who bought it. They’d acquired it during a bankruptcy for $3.8 million, and were selling at $3.5 million. We also found out that Babe Ruth had lived in the building, and Single, White Female had been filmed there. Steve told Ehud that the apartment needed sprucing up enough for a buyer to believe they could take it from there. He thought if they spent smartly, the family could actually make some money. Ehud agreed that what they’d done so far wasn’t working, but balked at Steve’s estimation of $200K. He asked if Steve could get it done for $100K, and Steve said it would be tight, but he’d make some calls. He was looking at a potential commission of $105K.
In those little filler scenes, they included an amusing clip of Ryan trying to get his voice-activated trash can to open. I could have done it manually a dozen times by the time it finally worked.
KJ was doing a relaunch of the Greenwich Street townhouse, and said all the work was paying off. Team member Zach had an interested client, and KJ was giving her a private showing. KJ’s client was husband Stefano, and in her interview, she said because Zach was on her team, she was able to get inside info about Rachel, the potential buyer. The asking price was $8.25 million, and Rachel loved the townhouse. It checked most of her boxes, but her problem was timing. Zach was selling their existing apartment, and she didn’t want to do a short term rental. She asked if they could rent there in the interim, and Zach asked KJ if they could be creative. My husband and I actually did that when we sold our apartment in Queens, and moved to a house. There was a gap between closings, and our buyer let us rent from her for that time. In KJ’s interview, she said it wasn’t an ideal scenario to present to Stefano. If Rachel changed her mind, there would be wear and tear on the apartment. Rachel asked what if they gave her a big deposit, and KJ said they could figure it out.
Steve began the renovation on the Ansonia apartment, and got estimates on removing wallpaper ($5000) and staining the floors ($2500). In his interview, he said it was always the extras that got you when you renovated, but in this case, it was better to go over budget than over time.
Ryan had armoire put in between the apartments on Duane and Reade Streets. In Ryan’s interview, he said the apartments were like Narnia, and he’d never been this excited in his entire life. His ideas were genius, but the way might not be easy. He had some workers take the back off a wardrobe, and put it in between, which he explained was some kind of fire escape hallway. He put on a lion costume, citing The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe for his theme. In his interview, he said, of course he was dressing up. He had to give the people what they wanted, or it would be like salsa without chips. He was fully aware that he looked ridiculous, but also fully aware that his company sold more real estate than anyone else. He was selling enthusiasm. He welcomed the brokers and potential buyers to The Ryan, the Witch, and the Wardrobe, and a look at a classic, but modern Tribeca loft. It was a lion of a deal. Everyone was extremely impressed with the property, and after the tour, Ryan said he had a surprise. He told them to growl like lions in order to see the surprise, and when they did, he told them to follow him to a fantastical land. He took everyone through the wardrobe into the empty apartment, where he’d let loose 1000 balloons of various colors that clung to the ceiling. The effect was pretty fantastical. He told them it was a different apartment that was for sale, but not on the market yet. In his interview, he noted that a lot of people were taking pictures. They’d put them on social media, and sharable content would turn into clients. If this didn’t work, he’d just spent more money on balloons than anyone ever had ($6000), and got hot and sweaty for nothing.
KJ knew that at the price point of the townhouse, buyers were super picky. Rachel had to sell her current home, but live somewhere in the meantime. KJ and Zach had a private meeting, and she told him that $100K would be enough to cover rent and any touch-up costs if necessary. Zach said Rachel should be good with the $100, but wanted to make an offer of $7.5 million. KJ said they’d already come down in price by a million, and Stefano would flip on her, by which I assumed she meant get angry, but Zach said it was an offer in hand. In her interview, KJ said that the market at that price point was saturated, and it had taken two years to find a buyer. She called Stefano, who was okay with the rental and $100K, but balked at the offer, KJ told him to think of it as an opening bid, and to come back at $8.1 million. KJ presented to Zach the fact that Rachel would have a hard time getting another seller to agree to a rental. They’d also be taking out the staging, and bottom line, Rachel loved it. Zach spoke with Rachel, and told KJ that her best and final was $7.950 million. Zach told KJ that they couldn’t get to $8 million in their minds, and he didn’t think that was going to change. KJ told Stefano that with the $100K, they were basically getting 8, and Stefano said, lock them up. In KJ’s interview, she said the apartment had been on the market for two years, and she closed it. Her commission would be $268K. She’d taken a break to have kids, but now that her youngest was 2½, she was unstoppable.
Next time, a tree grows in property in Brooklyn, KJ looks at an apartment that spans an entire floor, and the pandemic begins; offices begin to shut down, and everything is canceled.
💃🏽 Dancing In the Supermoonlight…
The long weekend is coming up, or an actual excuse for eating forbidden special food, and drinking, depending on how you look at it. Regardless of your viewpoint, stay safe, stay remembering what Memorial Day is really about, and stay knowing the basics. Like who The Beatles are.
What I Watched - TV With Theresa 