What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

General Hospital

Sonny tells Nina that he hates to bother her when she’s busy. He didn’t really want to make this call. She asks, what’s wrong? and he says, they need her; Lenny, Phyllis, and him. Is there any way she can come home? She says she doesn’t understand. What’s going on? He says he promised Lenny back in Nixon Falls that he woudn’t say anything, and she says, back in Nixon Falls? Where are they? He says, they’re all in New York, and Nina looks pretty startled.

At Ryan’s Pub, Valentin says, if they’re waiting in an Irish pub, he’s not drinking domestic beer, and puts a glass in front of Anna. She says, is it warm? and he takes a sip, and says, oh yeah. She asks if he couldn’t get anything else from the bartender. He tells her, if the nurse at New York Methodist is right, the Medivac pilot is a regular here. She says, when he gets there… and Valentin says, it’s her show. She says, right now, this could be a way to track Peter down, and find Maxie’s baby.

Brook brings Bailey/Louise into the hospital in a stroller, and tells Deanna that they’re here for Bailey’s check-up. Deanna fusses over the baby, and says she can’t decide who she looks like, Brook or Mr. Cassadine. Brook says, you know babies. One minute they’re a dead ringer for you, and the next, they’re a dead ringer for Winston Churchill. Deanna goes to see if the doctor is in, when Maxie comes out of the elevator. She tells Brook that she hopes everything is okay with Bailey, and Brook says, just a check-up. Maxie lowers her voice, and thanks Brook for arranging this meet-up. Brook says, of course (🍷). It’s Maxie’s last chance to see the baby before she leaves, and with Monica working from home today, it’s her best shot. Maxie says, the last thing she needs is another conversation with Monica about her fixation on Brook’s baby. Austin says, as I live and breathe. He asks what the two of them are up to.

At the pool, Trina looks at her phone, and Josslyn asks if it’s her mystery man. Trina says she doesn’t know why she gave him her number. She guesses she felt sorry for him. Josslyn asks what he did to deserve Trina’s pity, and Trina says, it’s not pity. Victor grew up without a mom. There’s something lost and lonely about him. Josslyn says Trina likes him, and Trina says, the same way she likes stray puppies.

At the MetroCourt, Nikolas says, that’s what’s happening at Cassadine Industries, and asks if Spencer is sure he’s not bored. Spencer says he finds it fascinating, and especially likes seeing Nikolas back in charge. Nikolas says he’s flattered, but shouldn’t Spencer be spending time with friends? Spencer says he plans to, but right now this is the only place he wants to be, and Nikolas says he feels the same way. Spencer says, even if that means Nikolas’s wife isn’t part of it? and Nikolas sees Ava come out of the elevator.

Nina asks, where in New York? and Sonny says, somewhere in Manhattan; New York Methodist Hospital. Lenny is sick. She asks, how sick? and he says, it’s bad. Lenny doesn’t have much time. Lenny needs her. He needs her.

Brook asks how what they’re doing is any of Austin’s business, and he says he just figured… She says, he just figured because he claims to be her family – which, by the way, they’ve heard a thousand times before – somehow her business is his business? He says, really, and she says, she and Maxie were just talking. So he can run along. Shoo. He gives Maxie a little wave, and asks, how’s his former patient? Deanna tells Brook that the doctor is ready to see Bailey, and Brook follows her, telling Austin, private family business. Maxie says he and Brook are related? How did she miss that? He doesn’t know where to begin, and she says, maybe with why he left his cozy country practice, and chose to be on the staff there. He says, she of all people should know how quickly life can change.

Josslyn asks Trina to tell her more about Victor, and Trina says, he’s excessively fond of the park. Tell her what she missed on the 4^th after she took off. Josslyn says Trina is deflecting, and Trina says she’s glad Josslyn caught that. Did she and Cameron do anything else besides stay and watch the fireworks? Josslyn flashes back to their kiss, and says, actually, she’s been waiting for the right moment to tell Trina. Trina says, tell her what? when Cameron walks in. Trina waves, and tells Josslyn, please, no. Josslyn says, please no, what? and Trina says, please, no Josslyn and Cameron. Don’t tell her they’re at it again.

Nikolas asks if Ava wants to sit down, but she says she doesn’t want to intrude. Besides, they said everything there was to say at Windymere. He says, that’s not quite true. He has something to tell her that’s going to affect them and their future.

Sonny tells Nina, they came for a second opinion on Lenny’s heart, but instead they found a tumor. Nina says she wishes she’d have known. She would have dropped everything to be there. He says that’s why Lenny didn’t want him to tell her. He didn’t want to interrupt her time with her grandson. She says, as it happens, she’s with him right now, and his mother, and Sonny says he’ll let her go, but she says Willow is helping Wiley get ready. She has time to talk. He says there’s one thing he needs to ask her that he hates to ask, and he knows Lenny would hate for him to ask. She says he doesn’t need to ask. Cancer treatments cost a fortune. She would love to help.

Anna says, if David Hopkins makes a move or goes for the exit… and Valentin says, David will have to get past him. She makes a calm down gesture, and says, here we go. David walks in and goes to the bar. The bartender pours him a shot, and Anna walks up, looking at her phone. She says she has no bars, and asks if he has service. He says, let him take a shot. She’s from London. She says, oh wow. He’s good… for an American.

Maxie says she’s surprised to hear Austin moved to Port Charles. He seemed so at home in Pawtuck, where he delivered her baby in the woods. She thanks him again, and he says, right time, right place. He wishes he could have stopped whoever took her baby. Any word? She says, not yet, but they were talking about him. How is he related to Brook? He says Brook is his cousin, and Maxie says, that makes him a Quartermaine. He says, guilty as charged, but she tells him, the first thing to know about that family. Never admit guilt, as long as you already know you’re getting away with it. He says, getting away with what? and she says, doesn’t matter. Getting back to how he’s related to Brook… He tells her that his full name is Austin Gatlin Holt, and she says, that makes his father Jimmy Lee, one of Edwards illegitimate children. He asks how she knows that, and she says, it’s all in Lucy Coe’s book, The Travel Guide to Port Charles. He laughs, and says, that’s a thing? and she says he can buy it online, and it’s also in Edward’s unauthorized biography. How are his parents? He says, his father died 6 months ago, and she says she’s so sorry. So that’s why he’s there? To connect with family? He says he is. Did she think it was for some other reason?

Cameron asks if he’s butting into girl talk, and Josslyn says, they were just talking about the 4^th of July. He says, best day ever, and Trina says, really? Not birthdays or Christmas? Cameron says, what about them?

Nikolas asks if Spencer can give them a moment, and Spencer says, gladly. He starts to get up, but Nikolas says, stay put; he won’t be long. He steps away with Ava, and tells her that he spoke with Martin, who suggested a no-fault divorce. She asks what they have to do, and he says, both parties have to agree the marriage has broken down irrevocably for at least six months. She asks if he agrees to that, and he says, if that’s what she wants. It will take at least six weeks to finalize; it was the swiftest option they had. She says, the stalker could do a lot of damage in six weeks, and he says he’ll make sure a bodyguard is ever-present, and out of sight, just like he is today. She asks, what about Avery? and he says, Avery is safe with Carly. She says, for another six weeks… Okay, a no-fault divorce it is. And the sooner their lawyers get started on it, the better for everyone.

Phyllis remembers when Lenny’s fishing line got tangled, and he got so mad. He says he lost the flathead he’d been trying to catch, then he heard her laughing. She says, because it was funny, and he says, not to him it wasn’t. She says she could see that too, and he says he was about to give whoever was laughing what for, then he saw her. She says, and he forgot all about the fish. They laugh, and he says, that’s not the way the story goes. She says, she’d like it to, just once, but he says, it’s not as good a story if he’s not mad at her for rooting for the fish. Why was she rooting for the fish? She says she always roots for the underdog, and he says he was the underdog. That fish had the upper hand, and it didn’t even have hands. She says, when she asked what he was going to do when he caught the fish, he said, bring him in, weigh him, throw him back, and catch him again. That’s when she knew he had respect her for life, and more patience than anyone would guess. He says, don’t tell anybody, and she says his secret is safe with her. She puts her head on his shoulder.

Anna tells David that she’s new in town. The Big Apple. Does anybody call it that anymore? He says, no, and she says she didn’t think so. It’s quite intimidating… unless you have somebody to show you the ropes. He says, you get used to it, and she asks if he’s a newcomer as well. He tells her, you could say that, and she says, something they have in common. What brought him there? A job? A new life? Reinventing himself? He says, trying to forget, and she says, a woman? He says, sort of. His sister is dead. Valentin watches the exchange, and Anna says, she’s sorry. She guesses they have something else in common. Her sister died recently as well. Valentin gives a half-smile.

Sonny thanks Nina, saying he knew she’d want to help, and she says, of course (🍷) she’d want to help, and thanks him for asking her. He says now he just has to convince Lenny and Phyllis to accept the help, and she says, it’s Lenny’s life they’re talking about. She would always help; pride be damned. After the kindness they’ve shown her, she wants to do something in return. He says, they’ll be very happy, eventually, and she says he’ll just have to convince them. He says, after they give him hell for calling her in the first place. She says she can get a ticket to New York tonight, but he says they’re heading home tomorrow. She says, then she’ll see him in Nixon Falls tomorrow. In the meantime, if there’s anything they need, let her know. He says, just her… She knows what he means. She says she knows. She misses him too. Willow comes down with Wiley, and says, somebody can’t wait to hit the water.

Nina says, one second, and Willow tells her to take her time. They’ll be outside. Nina says they don’t have to go; just one second. She tells Sonny that she should run. The man of her dreams just walked in. He says, competition? He knows who would win this round. She says she’ll see him later, and to give Phyllis and Lenny her love. And don’t take no for an answer. He says, done and done. Willow says she’s sorry she interrupted, but Nina says her timing is perfect. She takes Wiley from Willow, and says he’s just the medicine she needs. She’s so glad he’s in her life. Willow asks, what’s wrong? Bad news? Nina says, a friend is sick. Just when she and Wiley are getting to know each other again, she has to leave him.

Maxie tells Austin, good luck with the Quartermaines. She wishes she could be around for the fireworks. He asks if she’s going someplace, and she says, it’s difficult for her to see Brook with her baby. Brook has been nice about it, letting her spend time with Bailey, and they thought it would help, but… He says, every time she sees Bailey, she sees Louise, and she says he has no idea. Brook comes out with Bailey/Louise in the stroller, and Maxie asks, how was the check-up? Brook says her little angel passed with flying colors. She asks if she missed anything, and Austin says, just tragedy. Maxie is leaving just as he’s settling in. He wishes Maxie the best of luck, but she says he’ll need it more than she will. He tells Brook, he’ll see her when he sees her… unless she sees him first. He leaves, and Brook asks what Austin knows. Maxie says, more than she does. Why didn’t Brook tell her that he was her cousin?

Trina says, know what would be totally fun and awesome to do right now? and Cameron says, a dip in the pool? She says, even better. Let’s look at our classes. She pulls out a folder, and Josslyn says, right now? Cameron says, they have all summer, but Trina says, is the pool going anywhere? Cameron says, well, no, and she says, but they are – to PCU. Do they believe they can shop for their classes? Pick whatever you like, then decide whether you want to take it or not? Isn’t it wild? Like this humanities program where they can learn about various countries and cultures. They could use more exposure to other people. Or have they already decided what they want? Cameron looks at Josslyn and says, pretty much, and Josslyn asks him to go get them something at the bar. He leaves, and Trina says, well? Josslyn asks if she remembers when they vowed never to let a boy come between them, and Trina asks, why? Josslyn says she needs Trina to trust her that it’s still true.   

Ava says, Spencer is getting a little antsy, and thanks Nikolas for the update. He can call Scotty with anything further. She starts to leave, but he takes her arm. She says, broken irrevocably, remember? She leaves, and he goes back to the table. Spencer says he’s sorry this is upsetting Nikolas, but maybe it’s better this way. Nikolas asks, how? and Spencer says, Ava isn’t his favorite person, but if someone is trying to freak her out with a cockroach under Plexiglas… Nikolas asks how he knew about that.  

Anna asks what David’s sister’s name is, and he says, Marie. She was his baby sister; just a few years younger than him. She was a beautiful girl; so smart. Too smart for her own good. Anna asks, how so? and he says, she was a risk taker. She could get herself in trouble. This time, she died doing the right thing, trying to save a baby. Anna says, she was a hero then? and he says, the mother was running away with the kid to keep her from her dad. What kind of person does that? Anna says, so she rescued the baby, and gave it to the father? He says, she tried, but never got the chance. She fell, literally, into a hole. What’s it to Anna? Anna says, nothing. She’s just lending an ear. He says, no. Something is going on. He gets up, and asks, who the hell is she?

Sonny knocks at the examining room door, and asks if he can come in. Phyllis says, of course (🍷), and Lenny says, they were wondering where he was. Sonny says he talked to the doctor, and told them to get started while he talked to Lenny. They need to get a jump on fighting this thing. Phyllis thanks him for taking charge… but Lenny says, there’s no way they can afford it. Sonny tells him, don’t worry; we’ve got this. Lenny asks, who’s we? and Phyllis says, he called Nina, didn’t he?

Wiley plays with his trucks very LOUDLY, while Nina tells Willow that it was a friend of hers in Nixon Falls. Not the one she was talking to; another friend was just diagnosed with cancer. If they don’t throw everything at it… Willow says, of course (🍷) Nina wants to go to them. They can change the pool date if she has to go. Nina says they don’t have to move their pool date. She wants to spend as much time possible with Wiley as she can. Mike can take care of their end, and keep her posted. Willow says she likes this Mike person, and Wiley says, this red thing! Willow says, maybe she’ll meet Mike someday, and Wiley says, it’s broken. Nina tells Willow, the only man in her life right now is her grandson.

Josslyn tells Trina, there they were, thinking everything had gone wrong. All the signals they got crossed, or misinterpreted. Then they were… you know… it was.. yeah. Trina tells Josslyn, she has to say, she’s a bit shocked… that it took them so long. Josslyn says, Trina knew? and Trina says she thought they were acting differently at her graduation party, but she didn’t want to say anything. Josslyn says, so Trina’s not mad? Trina asks why she would be mad that her two best friends have wised up that they’re meant to be together? Josslyn says, because for a while… and Trina says, that’s so high school. They’ve matured since then. Before they know it, they’ll be college graduates. Josslyn says, so Trina is genuinely happy for them? and Trina says, she’s happy for Cameron. She feels nothing but pity for Josslyn. Cameron comes back, and says he got them Shirley Temples; they can get sodas anywhere. When they just look at him, he asks if they’re good, and the girls laugh.   

Brook says she didn’t tell Maxie that Austin claimed to be her cousin because she doesn’t know if it’s true. Quartermaines get pretenders all the time. Everyone was all shocked, except Monica, who has ice in her veins. Maxie says, can Monica give her a transfusion? She’s freaking out that Austin will recognize Brook from the woods. He could blow their whole story wide open. Brook says, they’ve been over this. Austin was completely unconscious. And he’s already seen her a quite a few of times and hasn’t connected it. He’s way too busy vindicating his late father to pay attention to anything else. Austin might be a minor problem for the Quartermaines, but not for Maxie and her baby.

Austin sits next to Ava at the bar, and she says, hi, Austin. He says, she remembers him. That’s a good sign. She says, when they met, she may have been… spirited, but not unconscious. It’s nice to see him. He says, likewise. He’s glad it’s not an unhappy reunion. He sees her husband is there, and asks if they’re still doing that thing. She says, what thing exactly? and he says, where they’re trying to prove they’ve grown apart by showing up at the same time in the same place. How’s that working for her?

Nikolas tells Spencer, stop trying to change the subject. How did he know about the cockroach when he was half a world away? Spencer says, it happened in a restaurant, and a customer posted it online. People freaked out, it blew up on social media, and he saw it. Nikolas asks if he can see it, and Spencer says he could have at the time, but he thinks someone from the PC Grill contacted the poster and had it wiped, because it’s not there anymore. Nikolas says, is that right? and Spencer says he’s kind of glad. It was disgusting. He woudn’t wish it on his worst enemy, even Ava. Nikolas tunes out, looking at Ava talking to Austin, and Nikolas snaps his fingers. Nikolas says he doesn’t know what Spencer means, but Spencer thinks he clearly does. Maybe it’s time to turn the page. It certainly looks like Ava has.  

Anna tells David that she’s just pointing out they both had recent losses, and he asks why she’s so interested in his sister. What the hell is this? Valentin grabs David, and slams him against the bar, pinning his arm behind his back. Valentin says, move, and he’ll break David’s wrist, and the bartender runs over, and Valentin tells him, go clean some glasses. He backs off, and Valentin tells David, apologize to the lady flyboy. David says he’s sorry, and Valentin asks if he’s going to talk. David asks what they want to know, and Anna says they want to know about the baby his sister helped kidnap, and the father, Peter August.

Brook and Maxie go into an examining room, and Brook tells Maxie to say goodbye to her baby before someone sees and the gossip gets to Monica. Maxie says she thought Brook lived for gossip, but Brook says, about other people. Start talking. Maxie tells Louise/Bailey that she knows Louise won’t remember this, but she will. She’ll remember Louise’s sweet little face, her tiny little fingers, and her brand new baby smell. She’ll remember, and take it to Texas with her. They say things are bigger in Texas, and she’ll miss Louise that much more, love her that much more, and be her mommy that much more. Brook says she hates to do this, and Maxie says she knows; time’s up. But she won’t say goodbye. She can’t say goodbye.

Ava apologizes, and Austin asks, why? She says she’s mortified, but he says, don’t be; it was fun. He’s from a small town. It’s quiet, and not much happens there. To be part of a public matrimonial drama, he’s in the deep end. She says, he’s off the deep end, and he laughs. He asks how are things with Ava and her husband? and she says they’re getting a divorce. He says he’s sorry to hear that, but some differences are irrevocable. She says, it’s a matter of life and death.

Spencer tells Nikolas, it seems like his wife found a friend. Nikolas says, the last time she saw Austin… and Spencer says, it’s not the first time? Interesting. Nikolas tells him, don’t, and Spencer says, don’t what? State the obvious? Nikolas says, don’t try to stir things up, and Spencer says, it’s an old habit. Speaking of which, Nikolas should kick this one. Nikolas says, Ava isn’t a habit. She’s the woman he loves. Spencer says, she’s awfully interested in that guy at the bar, but Nikolas says, they’re just talking; it’s no big deal. Spencer says he’s taking off since Nikolas is preoccupied. Nikolas says he’s sorry, and Spencer says he really does have somewhere to be. They hug, and Spencer says he can’t help wondering if Ava having and company are have a real conversation, maybe it’s a bigger deal than Nikolas thinks. He leaves, and Nikolas looks at Ava and Austin.

Cameron says, Josslyn told Trina? but Josslyn says, she already knew. Apparently, they were the only ones who didn’t. Trina tells him, don’t think this changes anything. Sisters before misters. He asks he gets that, and asks if the same rule applies to Trina’s imaginary friend, and Trina says, he’s not imaginary. Cameron asks why they’ve never seen his Instagram or any photos, and she says, some people don’t have a social media presence. And right now, she doesn’t blame him. She tells them that she left her cover-up in the changing room, and leaves. Cameron says he was just joking. He put his foot in it again. Josslyn says, so what else is new? and he says, them. She says she guesses they are.

Willow promises to send lots of pictures, so next time Nina won’t be surprised at how much Wiley has grown. Nina says she’ll hold Willow to that. She hopes by next time, Chase is on his feet. Willow says, they all want that, and Nina says, maybe they’re thinking about a little brother or sister for Wiley? If that’s any of her business, and she doesn’t think it is. Willow says, it’s fine. It’s just that they haven’t really thought about that yet. Nina says, Chase will probably be a great dad. Willow is already proved that she’s a great mother. She hopes Willow gets exactly what she wants; fingers crossed. Willow says, you never know. If Nina and Carly can start to get along, anything is possible. Nina flashes back to Sonny kissing her, and Willow asks if she said something wrong.

Sonny tells Lenny and Phyllis, he’s sorry. He broke his promise, and reached out. Nina is coming back to Nixon Falls. Lenny says he wishes to hell that Mike/Sonny hadn’t done that. This disease has cost them enough. Now it will cost Nina precious time with her grandson. Phyllis says, Nina can make her own decisions. Since they’re being open and honest, she’s glad Mike/Sonny called. She knows, as much as Nina wants to be with her grandson, they need all the love they can get now. Sonny says, Nina is offering more than love, but Lenny says, no way. He won’t take a dime. Sonny says, it’s not about keeping the Tan-O afloat or paying the utilities. This is Lenny’s life, and it’s more important that his pride or bank account. Lenny says he doesn’t want to be indebted to anyone, but Sonny says he and Nina owe them. They love Lenny and Phyllis, and they’ve given him and Nina so much. Let them repay their debt. They’ll fight this cancer together. Got it?

David swears he doesn’t know where the baby is. It was his job to pick up the father. Anna says, Peter? and he says, yeah. He was supposed to fly Peter to the rendezvous point, along with his sister, the baby, and her mother. She asks, where? but he says he didn’t know. She says, so he was hired to pick up Peter on the roof of GH. Where did David take him? David says, he didn’t.   

Austin says, and Ava feels like the stalker is forcing her toward divorce? and Ava says, yes. But they do what they must for their children, right? In her case, it means handing her daughter to Carly Corinthos. Austin says he just met Carly; she seems nice. Is she Ava’s friend? Ava says, no. Carly was married to her daughter’s father. If she’s being honest, her daughter is happy and safe there. Austin says, it’s awful, parents being separated from a child, and she says, it is indeed. He says he doesn’t know firsthand, but was thinking about Maxie and her baby. Ava says, that’s not the same thing at all, and Nikolas starts to walk toward the bar, but Martin calls. Nikolas says he told Ava. She said, a lot could happen in six weeks… No. He’s not holding out hope Ava will change her mind, but he’s hoping the stalker will slip up. Then they can bring him to justice of the Cassadine variety.

Josslyn and Cameron hold hands as they sun themselves. Cameron asks if Josslyn would like more sunblock, and she says, yes. She can feel herself roasting. He puts some on her back, and a voice says, watch your hands, townie. They look up, and see Spencer.  

Maxie calls Bailey/Louise a little superhero. Her identity is a secret to the world, and to her. She’s Bailey Quartermaine now, but here and here – she points to their hearts – she will always be her Louise. Brook says she wants Maxie to know that she promises Louise will always be cared for and loved. Maxie says she knows. If she had any doubts, she woudn’t be able to do this. She leaves.

Nina tells Willow that she already misses Wiley, and Willow suggests breakfast if Nina isn’t leaving too early. Nina says she’s leaving first thing, so why not make the most out of today? She tells Wiley, come here, handsome. She lifts Wiley up, and says, let’s go. Wave to mommy. She thanks Willow, who says she’ll see them later. Have fun. Nina leaves with Wiley.  

The nurse comes to the examining room, and tells Lenny that the doctor is ready to discuss treatment options. Lenny says, it looks like he’s outnumbered. Let’s do this. He goes with her, and Sonny tells Phyllis, one day at a time. Is he right? She says she knows. It’s just that some days are harder than others. They hug, and he says he hates that. There’s never enough time.

Valentin lets David go, and Anna says, David told them that Peter hired him to take him off the roof at General Hospital, and David says, that was the plan. He couldn’t get the chopper close enough, so he had to abort. Anna wonders, if David didn’t airlift Peter out, how did he escape?

Tomorrow, Alexis thinks something might be unavoidable for her and Shawn, Cameron asks how long Spencer is in town, Trina says Victor/Spencer is full of surprises, and Anna asks if David can describe the other person on the roof.  

Below Deck Mediterranean

Sibenik, Croatia. Mathew tells Lexi not to speak to him, and Courtney says, Americans are so dramatic. Mathew says they’re going to hate each other this charter, and in Lexi’s interview, she says she thinks Mathew is a poke the bear person, and doesn’t know how to chill. Katie says she hates the hierarchy on boats. She doesn’t like people who take the piss out of it. She tells the others that she never wanted to be a chief stew because of the persona. You’re going to be thought of as a bitch. David says, that’s because so many chief stews are effing bitches. Courtney asks who wants to go for a ciggy break, and Zee and Mathew go with her. Malia says she’s not sure who Mathew is going to murder, and Lexi says it will probably be her first. All of his lightbulbs are dim. Courtney dances around, and sits on Zee’s lap. In Zee’s interview, he says, happy birthday, Zee. Katie says she was a cradle snatcher once. It was a vibe thing. Malia asks about Lloyd’s goose tattoo, and in Lloyd’s interview, he says he and his best mate had an obsession with geese, and both got tattoos. They worked around Europe together, and referred to a night out as, the goose gets loose. A dance party in the master cabin is called for, and they head back.

In Katie’s interview, she wants to mix it up, so the master cabin it is. She’ll be the one cleaning it. She warns everyone, if they spill something, she’ll kill them. Everyone dances around, and in Courtney’s interview, she explains she’s learned twerking from YouTube videos. Because it’s cool. She dances around Zee, and the cake is brought in. David tries to feed a piece to Malia, and in his interview, he says she’s his boss. If it doesn’t work out, he’s left with an awkward situation, but if you don’t go, you never know. Lexi goes back to her cabin, changes clothes, and calls… her mom. The last person I would call if I was drunk. Lloyd twerks. Sort of. Courtney gets all on top of Zee on the bed, then kisses him. Katie says, whoa. Things have really escalated. In Malia’s interview, she says, night out number one.

In Zee’s interview, he says he wasn’t expecting that kiss. Drunk Zee is rowdy. Courtney tells Katie that she’s an amazing chief stew. The crew staggers back to their cabins. We hear Lexi’s mom say, put down the alcohol, and Lexi says, I haven’t drunken anything… else. She wonders if drunken is a word. She tells Malia that her mom is old school, and Malia says her mom was strict. Lexi says her mother is holding on to her because of her dad. She has to keep control. Lexi feels unstable, and Malia asks if she’s okay. Lexi says she’s fine, and Malia says she’s sorry about Lexi’s dad. He’s watching her. He’s her biggest fan. Lexi says, he was, and Malia says, dads always are.

Six hours before charter. Zee says he’s effing hung over, and Malia says she’s dying. She radios for the deckhands to meet on the main deck aft. She tells them to pay attention to the windows of the master and the bridge. In David’s interview, he says he wants to be helpful, but not overly helpful. Courtney doesn’t remember the evening, and asks Zee how he’s feeling. He says, a little bit of demons. Courtney is surprised she kissed Zee, and in her interview, a producer tells her, more than once. She says, nooo. Malia asks if Zee is in love, and he says, love at first night. She tells him boat romances are dangerous. Mathew shoves food in his mouth while standing in front of the refrigerator. As we’ve all done, but most of our refrigerators aren’t as big as an NYC apartment.

It’s time for the preference sheet meeting. Roy Orbison Jr. and wife Asa are the primaries, along with their two kids, a friend, and  their nanny. Mathew says he’s a big fan of Roy Orbison. The captain says, they want non-alcoholic beer and champagne so non-drinkers can be part of the fun. Malia reads that they want to use the jet skis and water toys for the boys. Captain Sandy says, it’s a short charter, so they want to make every moment count. In her interview, the captain says a short charter is usually jam packed, and the crew need to be on their toes. Katie calls for supplies, and in Zee’s interview, he says he’s not bringing it up if Courtney doesn’t. Katie requests musicians, and provisions come in. Lexi tells Matt that he needs to be outside, so they know where everything goes, and he says she’s argumentative about nothing. In Lexi’s interview, she says she has a list of things that bother her, and Mathew is going to be at the top. She mumbles that she’s going to be in an effing European jail.

It’s 36 minutes to charter, and Courtney says he never has the time to make herself look nice. The captain radios for everyone to get in their whites, and meet in 30 minutes. Katie tells Lexi and Courtney that she and Courtney will do dinner, and Lexi can do lunch. In Lexi’s interview, she says she doesn’t mind giving someone a break, and it’s good to give them experience, but the 3^rd stew is usually the laundry bitch. Katie says it will be the same as last time. She’ll do the tour while they do the drinks. The crew greets the guests, and Captain Sandy says, welcome back. Katie will show them around, and they’ll get underway to their first anchorage. The primary cabin is gorgeous, and I could see spending an entire cruise in there. It’s also lined with windows. The kids are brought to the bridge, and Roy Orbison III asks the captain, how do you beep-beep? She lets him blast the horn. In Zee’s interview, he says he feels like a bit of a burden. The rest of the crew has more experience, but if he doesn’t ask, he won’t be where he needs to be. He thinks Malia understands. One of the kids yells, the party starts now.

Courtney wonders, if she was a crib, how would she be put together? In her interview, she says she should be able to do this. Help me. She radios for help, and Zee is on it. In Lloyd’s interview, he says he loves learning on the job. He’s had determination his whole life. He played tennis when he younger, giving up weekends and evenings, and training on the Wimbledon courts. But he gave up because he wanted to be a kid. Zee and David help Courtney assemble the crib, and Courtney says Zee is a real life daddy, since there’s been a running thing with her calling guys daddy. Guest Roy says he’s feeling it already, and I don’t think anyone is drinking the non-alcoholic stuff. In Mathew’s interview, he says he wants to make up for how he started. He’s excited to have kids on board. It’s fun energy. The guests eat how he likes to eat, healthy and light. In Katie’s interview, she says she deeply wants kids, and thinks it’s more important than marriage. She loves kids, just not on a yacht.

Malia and David put out the floating platform, and Lloyd says, the slide is every deckhand’s worst friend. In Captain Sandy’s interview, she says she thinks Mathew’s head is around it now. Maybe he needed to find his feet. She doesn’t know, but whatever he did, she’s happy he’s where he is. She tells Mathew that the kids love the food, and Mathew says, good. When the first meal goes well, it’s incentive to keep going. In his interview, he says he’s in a great mood. Nothing can go wrong, and it’s going to be the best day ever. A fire starts in a pan behind him on the stove.  

In his interview, Mathew says, the zero on the dial has the nine next to it, and he’d meant to flip it on zero. And he had grape seed oil in the pan. It could be worse. He reacts, then panics after. In Courtney’s interview, she says it was nice of Katie to let her do service. She worked in a café when she was 16, and poured boiling water into a customer’s lap. It was lucky they thought it was funny. Captain Sandy says, the wind going to start howling, and talks to Malia and Katie about docking early and at night because of it. Roy goes down the slide, and the guests play on the water toys. Malia puts some gear on one of the kids, and says, he has a life jacket and helmet. Now run free. In Lloyd’s interview, he says, Roy seems like a fun dad. His dad is his best mate. He plays reggae music, and dances. We see a clip of that, and Lloyd says they’re peas in a pod. Mathew tells Lexi, a good first meal is a good start to the trip, and she says he’s boss of the galley. Malia ends up having to watch one of the kids while Asa goes on a jet ski with the nanny. In Malia’s interview, she says, I guess I can watch your child… The captain tells Mathew that his food for the crew is beyond, and he says she’s too kind. She says she’s happy his knee is okay, and he says, him too. We all know what she really means is, thank God he got a grip, and decided to do his job.

Katie explains the change in schedule to Asa, and Roy says he’s trying to be drunken; it’s a conscious choice. He got comfortable on the boat and with the people. They’re great. Lexi is like, oh my God. Malia tells the deckhands the have a musical guest coming in between 6 and 7, and will be doing a nighttime docking. Katie tells Lexi, dinner will be at 9, and says she can set up and then go on laundry. Courtney will do bar. In Lexi’s interview, she whines that she had to learn, but nobody showed her during the charter season. It’s not the right time. The slide comes in, and Mathew makes pizza, which causes the kids to jump up and down. In his interview, Mathew says, it’s so fun cooking for kids. Who doesn’t love pizza and spaghetti? He ordered off the kids menu the last time he was at a resort. It’s hard coordinating the crew meal with a meal that has several courses, but he thrives under pressure. (Really?) if he has too much time to think, he buckles. The deckhands laugh in the crew mess, and in Lloyd’s interview, he says, the last boat he was on, it wasn’t a very nice work environment, and he wasn’t supported. This boat is eye opening. Malia notices Lexi’s burn list, and says, oh my God. Is she on there? Lexi shows it to her, saying that when you win pageants, you meet evil people. In Malia’s interview, she says it makes her want to sleep with one eye open. She says, long burn list, girl. I forgot Lexi was Miss Bahamas. That might explain a lot.

Zee asks David if he has a soft spot for anyone, but David doesn’t want to say, and tells Zee that they might be competing for the same girl. Zee says he has limited options, and David starts to say, superiors are… and David says, behind you. Malia comes on deck, and they all start laughing. In Lloyd’s interview, he says, it was quite embarrassing. Lexi covers the table, and complains that life is so unfair. So wrong. The musicians arrive, and Lexi radios Katie, asking what to do. Katie says, because of social distancing, they can’t come on the boat, so have them stand by until the guests are ready. Lexi says she didn’t know. She’s not Miss Cleo. I dunno. Is it me? Lexi seems like an unpleasant person who whines a lot, and doesn’t understand the boss is the boss.

Lexi tells the musicians, 20 minutes, and Katie gathers up the guests. In Lexi’s interview, she says, managing situations is not Katie’s strong suit. She doesn’t like not knowing what she’s doing. She can do nothing but have an awkward stare-off. Hmm… So does she need to be trained on the job? The kids are given flags and come kind of national hats, and the band starts to play. Roy says, the magic of Croatia. Mathew works on dinner, and in his interview, he says he’s had so much experience in cooking, but no formal training. The guests have eaten in the best restaurants. He’s never confident that he’s at that standard. Well, at least one of them is so drunk, it won’t matter.

The guests get ready for dinner, and Zee visits Courtney in the laundry. They make small talk and in Courtney’s interview, she says she can’t believe that happened. Zee tells her that if she needs a hand, it’s probably going to be a quiet night. Nanny Rebekah is teased for having a crush on David, and she says, David smells good. Lexi agrees. The kids go to bed, and Katie radios Courtney to help with dinner. In Katie’s interview, she says, every other boat she’s been on has rotated the housekeeping and service in the interior. She was never big on housekeeping, and some other girls might feel the same way. If you have a problem with it, don’t go into yachting. When she first started, she had some basic service training, but laundry can be overwhelming. It can become a sh*t show real quick. Her supervisor left her in the deep end, and it was the best way to learn. It was an amazing foundation that she’s used for every boat she’s worked on. In Lexi’s interview, she says she’s been in yachting for three years, and she’s glad Courtney is learning other things, but she’s not going to say she’s glad to be making the beds. Roy babbles drunkenly, and wants to go in the water. He says something indecipherable, and the others try to get him to ear. Katie asks if Courtney noticed how sh*tfaced he is, and Courtney says, how could she not? In her interview, Katie says she thought they weren’t big drinkers; a family. Clearly she was wrong. Roy yells, it’s happy time! and Asa suggests he go to bed. Oh man. The way he’s looking at her, I can tell he’s at that point where he’s feeling no pain, but doesn’t realize everyone else isn’t on his wavelength. And by the looks on everyone else’s faces, for sure he’s the only one having happy time.

Malia asks why Zee is nervous about the heaving line, and he says he just wants to get it done. Lexi gripes to herself, and Courtney raps in the galley. In Mathew’s interview, he says, Courtney being on service is a refreshing change. He loves her. She brings the best vibes. Captain Sandy says they’re going to anchor in five, and Roy stumbles to the bathroom. Asa says, he’s annoying, and Katie asks Mathew if she can hear Roy in the galley. One of the guests tell Katie that she may want to clean the bathroom, since Roy peed everywhere but the toilet. Katie thanks them for letting her know. Courtney says she’ll go, and in Katie’s interview, she says, poor Courtney. She was on service for a hot minute.  

In Malia’s interview, she says, coming in at night can be tricky because the visibility is limited. Your confidence builds each time you go through one. Captain Sandy tells her that the wind is coming. Roy brings out a tambourine, and walks around the hot tub. The captain says, the current is wicked, and tells Malia to line her up. Zee is petrified. It’s a darker night than he thought it would be. Katie instructs Courtney on plate placement. Roy wonders what if he doesn’t embarrass himself, and just eats and goes to bed? but instead, he asks for more drinks, and talks about jumping off the boat. In David’s interview, he says, the pressure is on everyone with the night docking. Roy is yelling, and practically jumping off the side of the boat, when the same guest who gave Katie the good news about the bathroom, pulls him down. Captain Sandy hears the commotion, and asks, what’s happening? Asa tells Roy, go to bed now, but he continues to carry on. The captain says, WTF?   

Next time, a drunk crew, a nakey David, Malia is impressed, Mathew has a meltdown, Malia tells Mathew to STFU, Mathew packs, Lexi is done being nice, and pushes Zee. Wow.    

🏀 Time To Bounce…

You know it’s bad when you feel like you put in a full week on Monday. Or like it was seven days in one, to those who have stopped using the names of the days. If I’m not mistaken, tomorrow is the finale of The Haves and The Have Nots, which I will sorely miss. Until we bid it adieu tomorrow, stay safe, stay checking rainbows for that pot o’ gold, and stay not calling NYC The Big Apple. Nobody calls it that anymore.