What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

General Hospital

Scotty goes to the reception desk, and Austin says he looks super happy. Is he on something? Ha-ha! Together again – I’m so happy. Scotty says, a new diet, and Austin says he’d like to hear more about that. Scotty says, schnitzel; all he can get. Austin says he never much cared for it, and Scotty says, well, he does. And you know what else curls his toes? Austin doesn’t want to know, but Scotty says he’s going to tell him. Having his bank account flush with Quartermaine money. How’s it going at the mansion? Are they about to get rich, or what?

Chase gazes out the window, as he fiddles with his wedding ring. He flashes back to asking Michael to put the ring on Willow. Brook comes in on the phone, saying, she’s always in a meeting; never in the can. Got it? She swears Gladys is going to drive her insane, and asks what Chase is still doing there. She thought he had physical therapy. He says he couldn’t leave without saying goodbye to his wife.

Willow walks into the Quartermaine foyer, and sees Michael. She tells him that she’s made a decision. This cannot go on.

At the pool (🍷), Spencer wakes up to see Trina in the lounge chair next to his. He asks when she got there, and she says, after the snoring stopped, but before the drool started. He insists he doesn’t snore, but she says, want a bet? She heard stories from Josslyn about him from back in the day; he was a real pain in the butt. He says, it’s true that in his youth he was somewhat mischievous, but he didn’t do any lasting harm. And Joss gave as good as she got. Just ask her. She says she will, and he asks how it went with her mom. She says, not well.

Alexis and Nikolas go through Ryan’s letters. Nikolas says, Chicago, Milwaukee, Chicago again, Venezuela, Russia… It’s most universities, and professors and psychiatrists. She says, offering his expertise on mental illness. When she thinks of the arrogance of that animal… She pulls a letter out, and Nikolas says, what is it? She hands it to him, and he sees it’s addressed to Spencer in France. Harmony comes in, and asks, what’s going on? Alexis asks if she found this letter in Ryan’s room, and Harmony says, with the others. She grabbed the whole stack. Why? Nikolas says it’s addressed to his son. What the hell is Ryan doing communicating with Spencer?

Sam and Shawn go to Naomie’s hotel room, and Sam knocks on the door. Naomie opens it, and Shawn says, Naomie Berlin? Naomie says, it’s Dreyfuss. What’s this about? Sam says, her daughter, Hayden, and Naomie says, and you are…? Shawn says, the professionals bringing her home.

Shawn says, if they could just have a moment of her time, but Naomie say she’s not interested in talking about her daughter. She starts to close the door, and Sam says, wait. Not even if it meant bringing her daughter home to Violet? Shawn says she knows that little girl misses her mother. Didn’t she say as much? Naomie asks how he knows that. Who is he? He says he’s Shawn Butler; he went to prison for Hayden’s shooting. He pulled the trigger, and thought he shot her by accident. The guilt nearly swallowed him whole, but Hayden came to him and said it wasn’t him. Someone else tried to kill her, and she knew who it was. Naomie says, she didn’t tell him who? and he says he needs to find the real shooter. Not just for him, but for her daughter. Naomie tells them, come in.

Nikolas says he’ll speak to the warden, but Alexis says, no, he won’t. Or no one will be able to help him. He says that psychopath is sending threats to his son, and no one can do anything about it? Alexis says she understands why he’s angry; she’s angry. But convicts have a right to write letters. Having said that, all correspondence has to be scrutinized by the prison staff. Harmony says, that’s true, but just because the staff has the ability to read convicts’ mail, doesn’t mean they always do. Sometimes they lack the manpower. Alexis tells him, don’t panic. All they know so far is that the letter has been returned. It looks like it hasn’t been opened, so Spencer probably hasn’t read it, and if he had, woudn’t he have said something to Nikolas? He opens the letter, and Alexis asks what he’s doing. Harmony says, tampering with the mail is a Federal crime, and he says, try him, throw him in prison, he’ll have his attorneys make sure he’s sent there, which will make tearing Ryan apart that much easier.

Trina says she’s staying with Josslyn, and Spencer says, it went that badly? She says, it wasn’t horrible. They didn’t blow up at each other or anything… At least her mother didn’t blow up at her. He says, so it’s not like she kicked Trina out, and Trina says, it was her choice to get some space. They talked, but she doesn’t want to talk about it anymore. Or deal with it, or think about it. And that’s all she’ll do if they’re together. They could be deciding between Mexican and Sushi, and she’d still be thinking about how her mother messed up. She doesn’t know what to do. Maybe on some level, there’s nothing she can do, and he says she can’t sleep at Joss’s indefinitely. She says if he’d asked her to give two truths, she would have said, one, the sun rises in the east, and two, her mom is a strong, honest, and fair person. He says, now one of those isn’t true, and she says she hates it.

Austen tells Scotty, things are going okay. One camp of the Quartermaines wants to go to war with him. Scotty says, let him guess. Brook is leading that charge. Austin says, the other camp of the Quartermaines invited him to a birthday party. Scotty says, so they’re trying to wine and dine him into submission. Old Edward must be just dancing in his grave. Austin says, the cupcakes were amazing, and it turns out he’s really good at pin the tail on the donkey. Scotty hopes Austin isn’t waffling. Besides that cicada bug that comes back every seventeen years, so does a shot at ELQ stock. Austin says he’s not worried about that, but Scotty says he does worry about that. He doesn’t trust the Quartermaines at all. They’re capable of eating their own young. Austin says he’s painfully aware of what the Quartermaines are capable of, and Scotty says, their day in court is coming. In Edward’s will, the first paragraph says, Jimmy Lee Holt and his offspring – which would be Austin – will be disinherited. Which means Edward didn’t want Austin’s father anywhere near ELQ. Austin says, what if he changed his mind? but Scotty says they have no proof. The will has been signed, and sealed, and probated. They’ve got zero, zip, goose egg. Austin says he doesn’t know about that. He thinks there’s a way to turn this long shot into a sure thing.

Willow tells Michael, Chase is getting better all the time, and she’s committing right now that the day he takes five steps on his own is the day she tells him the truth. Michael says, five steps? and she says she’s done her research. It’s a common benchmark which means he’s on his way to a full recovery. He’s going to hate her, and she’s going to hate herself, but he has every right, and she’ll just have to take it. Michael says if she’s going to hate herself, she might as well hate him too, but she says, never. He says he could have approached Chase at any time, and told him, this is out of control. I love her, and we’re going to be together. But he didn’t. She says that’s because he was supporting her, and he says, it’s a fine line between supporting and enabling. He thinks he was hitting enabling a little too hard. She says they both go so far out of their way to support each other, they end up sabotaging their own happiness. It’s a good thing to keep in mind about their relationship going forward. He says, moving forward. He likes it; let’s go with that. She flashes back to them getting busy, and says, what happened last night… He says, can’t happen again. Their sole focus will be getting Chase back on his feet. She says, five steps, and once Chase knows the truth, she guesses they just pray someday he understands why they did what they did, and maybe even forgive them.

Brook tells Chase that she hasn’t seen Willow, or Michael for that matter. They’re probably still in bed. She can’t blame them. Chase flashes back to telling Austin, if Willow is sleeping with Michael, it means she’s in love with him, and Austin asking what he’s going to do about it. Brook says, who knew a kid’s birthday party could be so taxing? She’s surprised it didn’t send him rolling for the hills. In fact, she’s surprised he’s lasted this long in this house. Valentin and Austin, Carly, and Harmony, and Olivia; it’s a wonder they don’t all go insane. Chase says he doesn’t know what she’s talking about. Willow and Michael walk in, and Chase says, there’s no place he’d rather be.

Scotty tells Austin, there’s Michael and Willow… and Chase is just stuck doing wheelies in his chair. Alan would be proud. Austin tells him that his mother always said Alan had his heart in the right place, but Scotty says he’s not sure if it was Alan’s heart that was in the right place, if Austin knows what he means. Austin says he knows exactly what Scotty means, and Scotty says he loves a little Quartermaine gossip, so Michael’s indiscretion. They need to weaponize that, maybe get some pictures or something to get him over on their side. Austin says he’s not interested in anything illicit. There will be no blackmail or public embarrassment. Scotty asks if Austin doesn’t want what belongs to him, and Austin says he does. Scotty asks if he doesn’t want to avenge his father and have his seat at the Quartermaine table, and Austin says, absolutely he does, but… Scotty says, there’s no buts. They gotta get down, they gotta get dirty, in the mud. If they don’t do it, Scotty assures him, the Quartermaines will. And it will be a lot worse.

Naomie says she doesn’t know why Sam and Shawn think she can help them. Hayden chose a life there in Port Charles, deliberately far away from her, only to leave it all behind. Sam asks what Naomie thought about that, and she says she gave up trying to understand her daughter long ago. Maybe they’d do better speaking to those who did; her friends, her sister, her exes. Shawn says, they’re working on it, but they heard from Elizabeth that she was in town, and didn’t want to miss her. Sam asks if she’s staying long, and Naomie asks how that’s any of their business. Shawn says they’re not trying to butt into her life, and she says they could have fooled her. He says they just want to bring Hayden’s shooter to justice, so no one has to suffer like this. Naomie says she’s not privy to Hayden’s life. She and Hayden are on terrible terms. Sam shoots Shawn a look, and he says, no one they’ve talked to has been on any terms with Hayden. No one’s spoken with her since she left Port Charles. Sam says Naomie has been in touch with her daughter, hasn’t she?

Alexis asks Nikolas what the letter says, and he hands it to her, saying, see for herself. She reads, Spencer, I hope this letter finds you well. Do you remember when we first met? How fortunate I sensed your potential and aptitude for catch and release. I understand you’ve grown into a formidable young man. My apologies for the disappointment called your father. Don’t let this and Ava’s selfishness stymy your progress. Looking forward to more tales of your exploits. Ryan. She tells Nikolas, okay. Now he can panic.

Trina tells Spencer, she needs to grow up, right? Be more sophisticated. Like Ava. She takes things in stride and doesn’t get lost in the small stuff. Spencer says he knows Trina idolizes her boss, but look at the wreckage she’s left behind. His point is, Ava’s made some bad calls too. Trina says, her point is, her mom is an adult, and her mom’s business has nothing to do with her. He says, of course (🍷) it has to do with her, and she asks, what happened to changing her perspective? She’s just saying her mom is a flawed human being like everyone else. He says, and she should, but that doesn’t mean she’s not effected by it. The only advice he can give is, don’t do what he’d do. She says, which is…? He says, A, he has a real tendency to go full throttle and mess up his life. He does something that he thinks will punish the other person, and even if he does, he usually ends up punishing himself in the process. Case in point, not telling his father that he was back in town. Now that they’re starting to patch things up, there’s still this huge secret between them. She says, and B? and he says, acknowledging she’s right to feel how she feels. Trina’s mom messed up. Trina is allowed to have a reaction to that. She says, even if it’s bad? and he says, even then.

Scotty says, Austin is no fun, and Austin says, that doesn’t mean they can’t leverage the situation to their advantage. He thinks there’s evidence that can turn their case around. Scotty asks how he knows that, and Austin says, his father and Edward wrote letters to each other about a year before Edward died. His father had always reached out to Edward, but never heard back, but then somewhere around 2011, Edward wrote back. They exchanged four or five letters, and his father kept them all. In the last one, Edward said he was rethinking some of his earlier decisions, and that he’d mentioned his dad to his lawyer. Scotty says he does know Edward didn’t want Austin’s father to get a dime, or get anywhere near ELQ, and Austin says, he missed the point. He just said Edward was rethinking his decisions. Scotty asks if Austin thinks there might be a record of those thoughts, or a statement that Edward was going to change his will. Austin says he knows there Is. All they have to do is find it.

Chase says he has to head to physical therapy, and Willow says, already? kissing him on the cheek. Michael says Wiley is going to be up soon, and will probably want to give Chase a hug for his present. Willow says, it was so cute. He was cuddled up with his rocket and space station last night. Brook says, he slept with it? and Michael tells them, it wasn’t what he’d say was comfortable, but Wiley was committed. Chase says, tell Wiley he’ll take a raincheck on the hug, and Willow says, Wiley will hold him to that. Trust her. Chase says she knows he does, and wheels out of the room.

Austin tells Scotty, he tried to get to into Edward’s study, but the housekeeper stopped him. Scotty asks what he said, and Austin says, he lied; he said he was looking for the powder room. Scotty says, he said powder room? and Austin says he’s pretty sure that’s what they would call it in a house like that. The evidence is in there, and could help them. He can’t snoop around and get it, so they need someone who can. Scotty says, so they need someone who has access to the mansion. Like Chase. But he’s a cop. He’s a good cop; the picture of decency. Austin says, Chase is in a lot of pain right now, and Scotty says, he thinks Chase is in a lot of pain staying with a wife who’s canoodling with his best friend? Austin flashes back to talking to Chase in the foyer, and Chase saying his wife is sleeping with the guy he used to call his best friend. He needs to face this, and end it. Austin tells Scotty, don’t ever underestimate the depths that a man with a broken heart will sink to. Scotty says he hopes so. Otherwise, this lawsuit is DOA – dead on arrival. Goodbye. Austin says, goodbye, and Scotty leaves.

Naomie says she thinks it’s time for them to go, and Sam says she’s spoken to her daughter, hasn’t she? Where is she? Naomie says, please leave us alone, and Shawn asks if Hayden is in some kind of trouble. All they’re asking is that she put them in touch. Naomie says her family is none of their concern, and Shawn asks if Naomie’s family is any of her concern. Finn and Elizabeth have worried themselves sick about Hayden. They don’t even know if she’s dead or alive. He can only imagine what goes on in Violet’s head. Naomie says, whatever it is, it’s better than the truth.

Trina asks if that’s what Spencer does; table his feelings? He says he never shies away from self-reflection, and she says, good to know. He says, his problem is, frequently after exploring those feelings, he acts on them. It’s an added step that doesn’t need to be taken, and often ends in disaster. She knows the five stages of grief. She says, yeah, and he says, you don’t get to acceptance on day one. You have to experience everything that comes before; the denial, anger, all of it. He guesses this is kind of the same thing. She says, how exactly? and he says she can’t get to a point of forgiving her mom unless she lets herself get mad at her first.

Nikolas says, tell him about the letter, but Harmony says she doesn’t know anything. He says, bull. She takes Ryan’s dictation. Every letter he blinks, she writes down. She says, Ryan composes a lot of letters; she doesn’t log their content. She’s never had to. There’s never been anything threatening. He asks why he should believe her. She’s already been a groupie for Shiloh and Cyrus. She says she wanted nothing to do with Cyrus, but he says, maybe she graduated to Ryan. Maybe it’s her who’s been terrorizing his family on his behalf. She says she did them a favor. She doesn’t need to listen to this. She walks out, and Alexis says, taking it out on Harmony isn’t going to help anything, but he says, she’s capable. She says it doesn’t matter if she’s capable. Why would Ryan trust his revenge scheme on somebody who’s being scrutinized by the Corinthos family, the Quartermaines, and her parole officer? The letter is creepy, but there’s nothing overtly violent about it, so take it at face value. He says, which is? and she says, that Ryan is using Spencer to get under Nikolas’s skin. He says, why? He and Spencer were estranged long before Ryan wrote this letter. Did he think it would push them further apart? She says she doesn’t think he’s trying to scare Spencer; he’s trying to entice him. He says, like a fan letter. Like he’s egging Spencer on. She asks if there’s anything Spencer might have done to earn his admiration, and he says, Spencer could do to Ava and him what Ryan couldn’t do himself.

Naomie says, Hayden won’t provide Violet closure, only pain. Hayden sought her out last year. She needed money. Naomie had none to give, but offered Hayden shelter. She was as worried as everyone else that Hayden was in trouble. What else could possibly keep her from Violet? Shawn says, and? and she says, turns out it was motherhood. Her daughter went on a tear, insisting Violet was a time suck and a yoke around her neck; that she was better off with Finn. She wasn’t cut out to be a mother, and wanted her life back. Sam is a mother. Would she ever saddle her daughter with something so vile? Isn’t Violet better off not knowing? Now that’s all she has to say on the matter. She opens the door, and Shawn says if she has any way of reaching Violet or hears from her… She says she doesn’t, and she doesn’t expect she ever will again. Her daughter can change her name all she wants, but Hayden Barnes is as much Rachel Abigail Berlin as she ever was, a greedy, self-absorbed narcissist. She closes the door.

Alexis asks Nikolas to tell her that he’s joking. It’s just one letter. Nikolas says, that they know of, and he starts looking through them again. She asks if he thinks Ryan is goading Spencer into terrorizing Ava, and he says Spencer might not have needed that much goading. He hurt Spencer to the point where when he popped up alive, Spencer stayed in France, 4000 miles away. Plus, he’s always had a flair for the dramatic. Alexis says, he’s a ham, not a homicidal maniac. Does Nikolas hear himself? Nikolas says, nothing that’s happened to them has been violent; no one has been hurt. She says, they happened when Spencer was across the ocean. How was he going to pull these pranks? She gets it. He wants Ava back, and wants to stalker gone so she’ll come home, but he’s going to accuse his own son? He really needs to think about that. He takes the letter and thanks Alexis for her help. He loves her. She says, don’t do it. Don’t mess things up. He abandoned his son and broke his heart, and now he’s come home, and he’s trying to work things out with Nikolas. If Nikolas throws this accusation at him, he might drive Spencer away for good this time.

A waitress brings Spencer a drink, and he asks if Trina wants anything, but she says she’s good. He says he’s parched, and sits up. Trina sees KICK ME on his back in white letters, probably done with sun tan lotion, and starts to laugh. He asks if she’s laughing at something that happened with her mom, but she says, it’s nothing. He says he has something that might cheer her up. Let’s make it a challenge. She says, bring it on, and he tells her to wade through all this messy, emotional stuff with her mom, and she gets something amazing at the end of it. She says, and that is… He says, the party of the century. His.

Chase wheels himself into Austin’s office, and says he doesn’t have much time. His PT appointment starts soon. Austin says he just wanted to check in. How is he? Is he all right? Did he get any sleep? Chase says, barely. He can’t get the image of Michael and Willow out of his head. Austin says he can’t help with that, but he can prescribe something to help Chase sleep. Chase says, thanks, but he doesn’t want to take anything that could potentially mess up his recovery. He can’t get back on his legs soon enough. Austin says, unsolicited advice, but please be careful. He suffered a real setback last night. Chase says his legs are fine, but Austin says he’s not talking about Chase’s legs. His heart took a real beating when he found out about Michael and Willow. His recovery requires focus. Chase says he’ll be focused, and Austin asks if he’s sure. Because if his mind is doing what it was last night, he could really hurt himself.

Brook asks if Willow has heard from her mom, and Willow says, not yet, but she’s sure she will. Brook asks how she feels, and Willow says, confused, overwhelmed, resentful, maybe a little bit hopeful. Brook says, so all over the map, and Willow says, pretty much. Michael says Willow handled the surprise visit amazingly, and Willow says she stood there like a deer in headlights, and then ran off. Michael says she treated her mom with dignity and demanded to know why she came. Willow says, then ran off, and Michael says, with dignity. Brook says, so she needed a minute. She came back. Willow says she wasn’t going to miss her son’s birthday party, and it helped that Michael talked him down. Brook says, good old dependable Michael; his specialty. Michael asks if she could make him sound any more vanilla, and Brook says she could, but she won’t. Willow says he’s anything but vanilla.

Outside, Shawn says, that was intense, and Sam agrees. She tells him that Scout really doesn’t have any memories of Drew, and he says, whereas Violet must have a ton of Violet. Sam says, which are all good according to Elizabeth, and he says, Naomie’s claims don’t sit right. She says she has an idea, and calls Elizabeth. She says she has a question about Hayden. Her legal name before she changed it was Rachel Berlin, right? Did she have a middle name?… Is she sure?… She’ll explain later. Shawn says, it’s not Abigail, and she says, it’s Samara. He says, what kind of mother gets that wrong? and she says, they don’t. Naomie probably wanted them to pick up on it. Shawn says if she wanted to talk to them, why not just say so? and Sam says, maybe she couldn’t. He says, only one way to find out, and they head back.

We see a man is in the room with Naomie, and she says she lied about Hayden and made them work for it. Now they’ll stop asking questions, and their association is done. Isn’t it?

Harmony asks Alexis where Nikolas is, and Alexis says, he left. He’s been under a lot of strain lately, and Alexis apologizes for the way he spoke to her. Harmony says, it’s okay. It was kind of refreshing, being accused of something she didn’t do for once. She picks up the letters, saying she should get them back, and asks where the letter to Spencer is. Alexis says Nikolas took it with him.

Spencer tells Trina, it’s going to be a great night, and she asks if his dad is cool with it. He says he doesn’t have to ask his dad’s permission to throw a party in his own house, but he thinks it’s better for all involved if he’s out of town that night. Trust him. They’re going to have a rager, and his father’s not going to be a problem. Nikolas walks in.

Willow says she should get to GH; she starts the nurse training program today. Brook says, awesome, and Michael says, good luck. Willow brushes some stray food from Michael’s face, and leaves. Michael asks Brook, what’s that look for? and she says she doesn’t want to be all up in his business, but they live in the same house, so it’s hard to avoid. The last time they discussed this, he and Willow were in love, and Willow was on her way to tell Chase. She gets why they backed off, but unless Willow had a radical change of heart, and realized she’s actually in love with Chase – which is not the vibe she’s getting from her or Michael – then she’s still married to Chase because she feels she needs to support him, and the two of them are more in love than ever. Tell her she’s getting warm.

Chase wishes Willow and Michael never existed, and Austin says, wouldn’t that be nice? Chase says, how about a lobotomy? and Austin says, that’s a terrific idea. It would totally take care of his problem with Michael and Willow. Chase says he can’t stop thinking about it. When did it start? Who initiated it? But most of all, how the hell did he miss it? Austin says he missed it because he really loves this woman, but Chase says, not anymore. Austin asks, what happened? Last night he was all gung-ho about fighting for his marriage. Now he wants to throw in the towel? Chase says, what marriage? They’re two months in, and his wife is already having an affair. The only reason Willow married him was because she thought he was going to die. Austin asks if he believes that, and Chase says she was trying to spare him to let him go in peace, but surprise, he’s still here. Now Willow is in a marriage she doesn’t want to be in, so he has to end it.

Michael says he knows Brook wants to help, but it’s not a situation she can help with. She says she’s not blaming him or Willow. She’s never seen three people more well-intentioned than them and Chase, but Chase is her friend. Letting someone build a life on something you know is a lie… If that’s what’s happening, it’s not cool. He says, but what if circumstances dictate there’s no other option? Has that ever happened to her? She says, it has.

Chase tells Austin, he woke up wondering if there was any way to salvage his marriage. Then he saw Michael and Willow before he got there and it was so obvious. It was ridiculously in his face. Austin says, what was? and he says, who Willow wants to be with. He’s going to tell Willow it’s over. He’ll be out of the picture, and Michael and Willow can finally live happily ever after. Austin says, that is definitely one way to go.

Harmony says she took a big risk letting Alexis and Nikolas see the letters. Alexis says she knows, but he’ll bring it back. Harmony says, he got lucky smuggling it out. Does she think he’ll have the same luck on the return trip? Alexis asks if she thinks the guards are going to miss one measly letter, and Harmony says it’s not the guards she’s worried about. Alexis says she thought Harmony wasn’t afraid of Ryan, and she says she’s never done anything he might see as a betrayal before. Alexis says, he’s locked in, in more ways than one, but Harmony says, Nikolas doesn’t think that renders him harmless. Does she?

Spencer puts his shirt on, and Trina says she has a confession to make. He knows she’s friends with Cameron and Josslyn, and when they told her all that stuff about him, she wanted to defend them. So when he passed out, she kind of did this… Nikolas walks up, and Spencer says Nikolas startled him; he doesn’t like being snuck up on. Does he know Trina? Nikolas says, of course (🍷), and asks how she is. She tells him she’s fine, and asks how he is, calling him Mr. Cassadine, but he says, call him Nikolas. She says she has to make a phone call. She thanks Spencer for the advice, and leaves. Nikolas asks if Spencer is getting some sun, and Spencer says, trying to. He asks what Nikolas has in his hand. It’s the letter.

Shawn and Sam go back to Naomie’s room, and Shawn knocks. There’s no answer, and Sam wonders if she left, but he’s pretty sure her car was in the lot. Sam tries the door, and it’s open. They go in, and see something, but we don’t see it.

There’s a really sweet tribute to Stuart Damon at the end, but seriously, they couldn’t give him a whole episode?

Tomorrow, Spencer tells Trina that it’s one more thing his father doesn’t need to know about, Brook wonders where that leaves Chase, and Austin asks Chase, why make a graceful exit when you can make one with lasting impact?

Below Deck Mediterranean

Zlarin, Croatia. Athena goes to the galley to gripe about them falling behind, and Katie tells her that the chef is plating right now. In Katies interview, she says she’s trying to manage the boat, but need guests to be there at the table, and not make it look like she’s not doing her job. Athena bitches about where she’s sitting, so Katie moves her. In Mathew’s interview, he says this is the worst case scenario he think of for his last guests, but challenge accepted. Athena tells Katie that she wants salad in addition to, and Katie tells Mathew. In his interview, he says, dinner is so much about timing, but he’s not in a position to complain. Zee and Malia do dishes, and in Zee’s interview, he says, everyone wants crew members with experience, but won’t give a greenie experience. He’s now green-ish. The next course is served, and Mathew makes the salad. Courtney gripes about doing beds, and Athena points out a crumb on the table, telling Lexi that it bothers her. In Courtney’s interview, she thinks Lexi getting special treatment just for sticking around is bullsh*t. Zee radios Malia to tell her the rain is starting, and asks if he should cover the furniture even though the guests are up. Mathew asks if the guests are happy, but Katie doesn’t know anymore.

Lloyd isn’t at the bridge, and the captain can’t find him. When he finally reappears, Captain Sandy tells him not to leave if the wind is picking up. Mathew is summoned by Athena who tells him, it’s been an interesting evening. His meal worked out geniusly, and he handled it well. The captain tells Lloyd that she’s  trusting him and not to leave. Lightning strikes, and Courtney irons. She tells Mathew that changing cabins on pick-up day is a hassle. In Katie’s interview, she thinks Lexi likes being on service, and it wouldn’t be fair to take it away from her because she caused drama. Wow. I actually think it would be more than fair. In Lexi’s interview, she says the atmosphere is still thick. Lexi tends bar, and guests Zo and Jackpot talk finances to her. Everyone else goes to bed.   

In Malia’s interview, she says it’s an awkward line with David now. She doesn’t want to act like a bitch, but she thinks he gets it. She hopes he does. The table is set for breakfast, and Malia tells the deckhands to put the toys out, since these people aren’t predictable. Breakfast orders are taken, and in Katie’s interview, she says she’s accepted they’re not doing proper service. When these guests want to eat, they want to eat. Athena bugs Mathew in the galley, saying she wants to touch base about the cakes. She wants one with Happy Birthday and the company’s logo, and the other to say, Project Millionaire. Katie says they’re like a 24-hour diner. Mathew asks if Courtney has any nicknames, and she says she’s always wanted to be called Coco. Mathew asks if she’d help him with decorating the cakes, and a boat heads for the yacht bearing balloons. The captain sees the wind is picking up again, and says, that sucks. She radios Malia that she’s going back to the dock. Courtney says the cake looks like something from an eight-year-old’s birthday party.

Courtney scrapes off the writing, but makes a green mess. In Mathew’s interview, he wonders how he’s supposed to get this many different and unrealistic requirements right. Captain Sandy tells the guests that they’re heading back because of the weather. Courtney turns the mess into a half green, half orange-ish cake. Malia tells David to go to the bridge to work with the captain, and in his interview, he says Malia is a great leader. She’s attractive, but he thinks what attracts him most is her strength and work ethic. Courtney tells Mathew, it is what it is, and sticks a printout of the logo, along with a Happy Birthday printout into the cake. The table looks pretty, decorated in black and silver, and Katie tells Lexi about how she met Leo DiCaprio early in her career. In Katie’s interview, she says, now she knows how to get Lexi’s attention. We find out Leo loves darts and bloody Marys. In Malia’s interview, she says there are difficulties when it comes to docking at night. Visibility is tough, but she also worries about the crew’s safety.  

The guests get ready for dinner, and Courtney prints out decorations for the second cake. Athena goes to the galley to check out the cakes, and makes a face. She tells Mathew that she’s disappointed, which is no surprise. He apologizes, and in his interview, he says she’s disappointed before she even sits down. That sucks. She mumbles something about an A for effort. The first course is served, and in his interview, Mathew says, it feels bittersweet. It’s not how he wanted the season to end. Not every dish was perfect, but given the challenging requests, he thinks he did all right. Malia says, it’s sad, and Mathew asks if she forgives him. She says, yeah, and he says he doesn’t want to leave the boat. Katie says she doesn’t know what’s going on with that cake, but they put sparklers in it, and bring it out. It seems like there are crickets, but then social media photos are taken. In Mathew’s interview, he says, at this point, he’s assuming they’re happy. The guests go inside to eat the cake, and Athena tells Mathew that they love it. Lexi mumbles that demanding isn’t even the word, and we see a cat on the dock for no reason.

In the crew mess, Malia wonders why Lloyd has a grin, and he says he was thinking about David’s complete and utter failure with women. In Captain Sandy’s interview, she says, there were no complaints about Mathew’s food. Mathew’s problem is Mathew, not his food. Breakfast orders are taken, and in Mathew’s interview, he says it’s starting to sink in that this is it. The captain tells the crew to get in their whites and meet on the aft deck. Everyone makes their goodbyes, and Athena says the cuisine was exquisite, and thanks Mathew for making it special. She says her group was so happy with the beautiful pampering. It was truly magical. She gives Captain Sandy the tip envelope, and the captain tells everyone, nice work. She asks Mathew to meet her on the bridge.   

Captain Sandy tells Mathew that it’s a hard situation for her. She needs to trust her crew. She appreciates that he came back though. He commands the galley, and has passion. The clients and crew love him. She says she wants to finish with the same crew she started with, and asks if she can trust him to finish the season. He says the experience was humbling and understandable, and it would mean the world to him. In her interview, she says, if he walks, she’ll drown. Mathew is all happy, and in his interview, promises, no more hiccups, and no more rosé. He tells everyone that he’s going to stay. At the tip meeting, Captain Sandy thanks Mathew for staying, and thanks Lexi for keeping her head in the game. She thanks the crew for getting through such an emotional experience, and tells them that he tip was $15K, or $1,244 each. I have to agree with Lexi when she says it’s not a great tip, and in her interview, she says, thank you doesn’t pay the bills. The captain tells them to enjoy their night, and they turn the boat around. In Courtney’s interview, she can’t believe Lexi was thanked for being a normal human, and wonders if maybe she should be a d*ck.

The crew gets ready for fun, and Courtney tells Malia that she’s tired of people being patted on the back for not being a-holes. I hear that. In Lexi’s interview, she says she wants a drink, but doesn’t want to go overboard. In the taxi, David says Malia is effing amazing, and Mathew calls him a dirty, dirty boy. They go to a restaurant, and Malia toasts to no one quitting tonight. In Courtney’s interview, she says, Chloe is drunk Courtney, and she’s a ho. Zee says it’s crazy how different they all are, yet they get along so well. He explains there aren’t many Black people in the industry, and his brothers thought he might have a hard time. In his interview, he says, yachting is a white male dominated industry, but the way the world is going, there are more eyes watching, so it’s harder to discriminate. He thinks progress is being made. In Lloyd’s interview, he says, an owner can chose who works for them, and can discriminate. Malia tells Zee, don’t worry. On deck, he’s just green. Mathew pays for dinner, and tells them to leave the tip. In his interview, he says he’s not above buying forgiveness.

Lloyd thanks Malia for being a good boss, and Malia says yachting can be so much fun. They get back to the boat and jump around. Lexi apologizes to Malia for judging her, and says she’s authentic. In Malia’s interview, she says Lexi is a wild card, but if they were all judged on their boozy nights, they’d all be kicked off the boat. Everyone should be given a second chance. Shots are brought out, and in Lexi’s interview, she thinks everyone is being hypocritical. They want her to take shots. but last time, it didn’t turn out well. They jump around some more, and Zee dances with Courtney, while Lloyd twerks on Lexi. In Courtney’s interview, she says, Zee is so cute. If she likes someone, she wants all their attention, but if they’re nice to her, she doesn’t like them. In Mathew’s interview, he says he’s been redeeming himself all season, and doesn’t want another reason to have to redeem himself again. He’s going to sit this one out. He goes to bed.

David asks if Malia remembers the question he asked her. She gave him a maybe, but he’ll be spinning until she answers him with a yes or no. End his misery. In Lloyd’s interview, he says, it’s too late now for David to reel it in. Katie says she doesn’t want to see this, and David tells Malia that he’s fully into Malia. He loves everything about her. Katie tells Lloyd, this is getting awkward. She can’t. This is a lot. David says Malia is the powerful woman every woman aspires to be, like the kind he was raised by. (Always a deal clincher – telling a woman you remind them of your mother.) Malia diplomatically says, in the past year, she’s had an effed up love life, and just wants to be single. In David’s interview, he says he got his answer. Meanwhile, Lloyd is in another conversation with Katie. He says he was at a job where he was looked at like a god, then went into yachting, where he was treated like sh*t. He’s 90% straight, but was called something-bleeped – the f-word? No clue, and no clue what 90% straight is, but he starts to cry. Katie says he’s a beautiful person. The others sense Lloyd needs them, and gather in a group hug. Except for Lexi who is busy dealing with her own needs in the galley. Katie says, they need more people like him in the world, and they support him. That’s not his reality anymore. Lloyd says it’s the first time anyone has listened, and Lexi wonders what’s going on. David says, it would be a great world if it was filled with Lloyd’s. Courtney and Zee come back, and get involved in the hugging. Malia says David is on a vessel where everyone accepts him. In Malia’s interview, she says they’re in an industry that’s very old school, and anyone struggling with sexuality is expected to look and act a certain way. Lloyd says Malia is the best boss he ever had, and they hug, In Lloyd’s interview, he says it’s something that’s been on his mind since he was in school, and has had very few people to talk to about it. With some crews, it could never be discussed.

Next time, returning guests who love to party, the police arrive, the slide causes drama, and while Sandy doesn’t like giving up on people, if they’re not willing to change, it’s a problem.

📅 Another Monday Bites the Dust…

It’s late, and while I’m much improved, I’m still not 100%. So until we meet at the corner of GH and RHONY, stay safe, stay sharp, and stay remembering you won’t get to acceptance on day one.