What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

General Hospital

Harmony tells Sam and Dante, Willow made it clear she wants no part of her life unless she truly changes. So that’s what she’s trying to do so she can be a part of Willow’s life and her grandson’s life. Sam says she has it all wrong. They’re not there to accuse her. They actually need her help. Harmony asks if it has to do with Shiloh, and Sam says, Shiloh… and Drew Cain.

Drew is thrown onto his cot, Russ asks how Drew is feeling, and Drew says, never better. Russ tells him after the beating, maybe he’ll stop trying to escape, and Drew says he’s just trying to figure out where the hell he is. Russ says, paradise, and Drew tells him, and people say he has no sense of humor. He’s been listening to the guards, and a lot of them speak Greek to each other. Is this about the Cassadines? Is that who his big boss is?

Maxie walks into the hospital, dressed up for the wedding, and Britt says, hey there, hot stuff. Where are you headed so dolled up? Maxie looks at the invitation in her hand, and Britt says, right. She forgot. Today’s the day.

Michael comes into the church, finding Jason sitting alone. Jason says Michael is early, and Michael says he thinks the best man should be. Jason’s looking sharp; ready to go. Jason says he’s been ready for a long time.

Still in her robe, Carly checks her makeup, and flashes back to talking to Jason where Jake’s used to be. He tells her the marriage will be real, and she’s not in this alone, then officially asks her to marry him. She smiles, and sighs.

The Tan-O is in flames, and Phyllis and Nina struggle to free themselves behind a wall of fire. Sonny is coming up the walk, and says, what the hell? He runs inside, calling for Nina, and asking if she’s there.

On his way into the church with Olivia, Ned tells her, nothing says wedded bliss like an army of security out front. Olivia says, the third rule of a Corinthos or Corinthos related wedding – don’t skimp on the bodyguards. He says, they got frisked in the parking lot, and she says, maybe it’s a little over-the-top. Just be glad the kids weren’t invited. Imagine what Leo would have made of that. He says, speaking of, and takes out his phone. He just wants to check in at home, and she asks what he thinks is happening. Leo and Rocco are running Brook Lynn and two nannies ragged. He says he just wants to make sure there isn’t any trouble, and she says, with Leo? Why would he think that?

Maxie says she doesn’t mean to pry, and Britt asks when that’s ever stopped her. Maxie says, it seems like this wedding might be really hard for Britt, and she’s sorry. She knows what it’s like being on the outside looking in on somebody else’s happiness, and it’s the worst. Britt says, it’s not ideal. She finally found the guy, and it turns out the guy is eternally taken. Oh well, you gotta keep going, right? Maxie says, you do, and hopefully, one day not too long from now, it’s a little less painful. Britt says, you know what would make this day astronomically better? Maxie says, vodka, and Britt says, that, and her mother plotting Jason’s murder. Inappropriate? Probably, but it would mean she was here, and Britt could stop worrying about her. Maxie says, still no word, huh? and Britt says, no, and she knows if anyone can survive whatever’s happening, it’s her mom, but she is only human. She just keeps thinking, what if this is the one challenge Liesl Obrecht can’t finagle her way through? Maxie says she gets it. She’s worried about Obrecht too. But then she remembers all the crazy things she’s been through, and lived to tell the tale. So no matter what it looks like, the odds are actually in her favor. Wish her luck. There’s her date. Britt turns to see Austin in a suit, and says, her what?

Terry asks if Elizabeth is ready to go. She wants to dance with somebody. Elizabeth says she can’t believe she’s about to do this, and Terry says, what? Have some fun? Elizabeth says, lots of things are fun, like going back to her house, opening a bottle of wine, and watching a movie; Terry’s pick. Terry says, this can’t be the same Biz who used to drag her to raves in high school. Elizabeth says, yeah, three kids ago, and Terry tells her that she needs to cut loose. And pitching a tent with her quasi brother-in-law is not the release she needs. Elizabeth says, tell her about it, and Terry says, that’s it. What exactly happened on that camping trip?

Michael sits next to Jason, and says, you know what’s crazy? This is what he wanted when he was a kid, but he couldn’t let himself fully want it because of Sonny. He loves his dad. At the same time, he knew there was something amazing and unbreakable between Jason and his mom. He’s really happy for them. And he’s happy for himself. Is that selfish? Jason says, no, because when you think about it, Michael was the first significant thing Jason and his mother shared. He was the only child Jason was able to raise as an infant, and the fact that he and Carly are here today, is a large part because of Michael.

Josslyn goes to Carly’s dressing room, and Carly tells her come in. She sees Josslyn’s face, and says, oh no. She thought the makeup artist did a good job… She looks in the mirror, and Josslyn says her makeup is perfect. She’s perfect. Carly says, stop, she’s not even dressed yet, and Josslyn says, it doesn’t matter. She could walk down the aisle in her bathrobe, and still be the most beautiful bride she’s ever seen. Carly says if she needs an ego boost, she knows who to call, but Josslyn says, something is different. It’s like she’s glowing from the inside out. She knew marrying Jason was something Carly wanted, but she felt like something was holding her back. Carly says, because it was.

Sonny calls to Nina, and I guess he finally sees them, because he runs outside and grabs a chair. He’s about to smash the window, when Jax grabs the chair, and says, don’t.

Michael says Jason is giving him too much credit, and Jason says, he and Michael’s mom liked each other before he came along, but it was him being born – them taking care of him, and doing it together for him – showed them the way to love each other. Michael says, in that case, he’s welcome, and Jason tells him, he knows he’s said this before, but today of all days, he has to say it again. It was truly one of the greatest joys and privileges of his life to raise Michael. To watch him grow up and be a part of his life. Jason can’t tell him how much it means to have Michael standing next to him today. Michael says, Jason is marrying his mom, and Jason says, that’s the plan. Michael says it means so much to him too.

Austin says, sorry to keep Maxie waiting. She looks great. She thanks him, and says, he does too. He says, thanks, and tells Britt that they’re going to a Quartermaine affair. All the bigwigs at the hospital are going to be there, so he assumes they’ll see her later. Britt says she wasn’t able to get away. Have fun. She leaves, and he says he knows this one. He said something wrong.

Terry says she’ll get it out of Elizabeth eventually. After she gets Elizabeth’s opinion on this bartender at the club tonight. She thinks he’s totally into her. Maxie comes by, and asks if they’re going out tonight. Elizabeth says, that was the plan, and Maxie says she’s sure they know Britt’s mother is missing, and Jason’s wedding is in her face every five seconds. She looks at Austin, and says, that’s her ex. Austin tells her, he did say something wrong, and Maxie says, she knows Britt’s not their favorite person, but she’s their co-worker. They should have her go out with them. Elizabeth asks if that’s not a little transparent. They’re hardly friends. Maxie says, so be subtle about it. She could use the distraction. It will take her mind off of things. This is a place of healing, isn’t it? This is their chance to heal.

Carly says she got into her head a little bit, and Josslyn asks, how? Carly says she kept coming up with challenges – it’s too soon, what about the business, is it going to change her relationship with Jason? Josslyn says, of course (🍷) it will change it, but in all the best ways, right? Carly says, right. She was looking for a guarantee to make her feel better, but life has no guarantees. As soon as she let that go… Josslyn says, she was free, and Carly says, free to be happy, and live in the moment, and be at peace. She’s marrying Jason, her best friend, who she loves and trusts completely. She’s so excited, even though she has no idea what’s coming. Josslyn says, and she has the perfect partner to handle it with, and Carly says, together, she and Jason can handle anything.

Sonny asks what Jax is doing. There’s a fire in there. He can’t get through, and Nina is inside. Jax says, there could be a backdraft. There has to be another way in. Sonny says, there’s a delivery entrance. Let’s go. They go around the back.

Sam says, maybe Drew’s out there, maybe he’s not, but they’ll never know without having more to go on. Dante says their leads are thin at best, and Alexis says, which is why they came to Harmony. Dante says, ten years ago, Peter handed Drew over to kidnappers, and they know he didn’t do it alone. Sam says, but they think Shiloh helped him, and Harmony says, okay… Dante says, more recently, Peter sabotaged Drew’s plane to go down. They don’t think Shiloh had anything to do with that. Sam says, but maybe someone he knew did, and Harmony says, oh, she gets it. Someone like her.

Drew says, whoever Russ’s boss is, Russ has got to realize they have more use for him than Russ. Why does Russ think he’s still alive? Russ says, it’s a question he asks himself every day, and Drew says, they’re keeping him on ice for a reason. Russ whacks Drew in the knee with his club, and Drew falls to the floor, clutching it. He asks, what was that for? and Russ says, so Drew doesn’t try to jump him like he’s done the last three times. Drew says Russ prides himself on how intimidating this place is, but believe him, Kandahar was way worse. He points at Russ, and says, that’s how he knows, and Russ says, knows what? Drew says, he’s been grabbed by true believers, and Russ isn’t one of them. The only gleam in Russ’s eye is for money, and lucky him, Drew’s got a lot of that. Drew pulls himself back up on his cot, and Russ says, they’ve been through this. Drew says, yet, it’s never computing, and Russ says, maybe he’s not interested. Drew says, that doesn’t make sense. This isn’t a military installation. Russ isn’t a terrorist. He doesn’t live and die by his cause. He’s a mercenary, which means he has no loyalty to anything except his bank account. He’ll pay Russ whatever their paying for Russ to keep him there, and a whole lot more if Russ gets him home. So from a financial perspective, which is the only perspective Russ cares about, he’d be far better served to work with Drew than against him.

Harmony asks if Sam is suggesting she had something to do with the disappearance of her ex-husband, but Alexis says she doesn’t think that’s what Sam meant. Dante says they know she was in custody at the time, and Sam says Harmony is a capable woman; anything can be orchestrated behind bars. Harmony says, if she was so capable, would she be making rent by cleaning up after Ryan Chamberlain? Sam says, then tell her that she had nothing to do with it. Harmony says, visiting hours are wrapping up. She suggests they get a move on. I can’t say I blame her.

Spinelli comes into the church, and tells Jason, gracious greetings on this momentous occasion. Is he ready? Jason says he is, and Spinelli says Carly was one of the first people he met through Jason. He had to work hard to win her over. Jason says he remembers, and Spinelli says he’s always been in awe of their friendship; it was so pure and unwavering. It’s funny. It never occurred to him that they’d wind up together, but now that they have, he can’t imagine it any other way. Jason thanks him, and says, neither can he.

Olivia says, so Austin Wannabe Quartermaine is talking to Ned about Leo? and Ned says, he suggested Leo might benefit from seeing some specialist. She says, what kind of specialist? and he says, someone that can help him communicate better. She says, their son communicates just fine. She understands him perfectly; doesn’t Ned? He says he does, and she says, then what’s the problem? He says, it’s not a problem per se… and she says, don’t per se me. He says, it’s just something Austin thought they might want to follow up on, and she says, then he’s making a Federal case out of nothing. The same guy who tried to weasel his way into their family, using poor, innocent Chase to do it. Ned says he got the impression Austin was genuinely concerned, and she says, then he’s overreacting. Leo cut his finger; end of story. He’s overreacting. Ned says, what if he’s not?

Carly says, what is it? and Josslyn says, what’s what? Carly says she can tell Josslyn wants to ask her something, and Josslyn asks how she does that. Carly says, it’s a mom thing. What is it? Josslyn says she doesn’t know if it’s the appropriate time to bring it up, but Carly says there’s no inappropriate between them. Josslyn can ask her anything at any time. Josslyn tells her, when she said that thing about worrying if it was too soon to get married… Carly says, she thought about Sonny. Josslyn asks if Carly is thinking about him too, and Carly says she always thinks about Sonny. He’s always with her, but today she’s marrying Jason. He’s her best friend, and she loves him, and she’s so proud that she gets to say her vows with Josslyn standing beside her. Josslyn says she can’t wait, and Carly says, then let’s get me ready to get hitched. Josslyn says not before she gives Carly this, and brings out a jewelry box.

Nina and Phyllis have passed out, when Jax and Sonny run in. Jax tries to rouse Phyllis, while Sonny asks if Nina can hear him. Wake up. If I were them, I’d just drag Nina and Phyllis out, chairs and all. This is no time for pesky details.

Russ looks out in the hallway, and closes the door. He says Drew has a lot of confidence for a guy in a cell, and as he walks past Drew, Drew hits him from behind, and he falls. Russ gets up, and asks why Drew didn’t take him out, and Drew says, he would have gotten halfway down the corridor, and Humpty and Dumpty would have built their brick wall. His ribs hurt already, the only car available is gone. The great escape is not his ticket out of there. Russ is. Help him, and he’ll help Russ in return. Russ says Drew is dead, remember? Dead men don’t need bank accounts. Drew says he won’t be dead much longer.

Dante asks if Sam is hungry. There’s an Eisenhower era cupcake in the vending machine, and he’ll rock-paper-scissors her for it. Sam say she totally screwed that up, going for Harmony like that. It was so stupid. He tells her not to be so hard on herself, and she says, so she didn’t screw it up? He says he wouldn’t go that far. He gets that it’s not easy for Sam, breathing the same air as that woman. She says, her mom is doing a good job, and he says, in her mom’s defense, it’s probably Harmony or a serial killer or something. On the other side of the room, Alexis tells Harmony, for what it’s worth (🍷), she doesn’t think Sam believes Harmony had anything to do with Drew’s disappearance. Harmony says, she could have fooled me, and Alexis says, Sam has been through a trauma. Harmony says she knows it’s difficult, and knows she deserves Sam’s scrutiny, but she meant what she said. She’s just trying to turn her life around. She goes to bed every night hoping tomorrow she’ll wake up, and not be reminded of the past or the crimes she committed in Shiloh’s name, or the people she’s hurt. That day is yet to come. Alexis says, but she still goes to bed with some hope, right? The minute they stop doing that, they become that criminal or that disease, and that’s never going to change.

Outside the church, Austin asks Maxie to stop, and says he has a quick question. Are there any other fraught social situations he has to look forward to at the wedding? He doesn’t want to miss offending someone else today. She says she thinks it’s too late to make a first impression on the core Quartermaines, and he says, that ship has sailed. She says, she wouldn’t ask Jason about his line of work… or how he met Carly. Or… You know what? Just don’t talk to him at all. He says, he’ll tell Jason, congratulations, and she says, perfect. He sees Ned and Olivia near the door, and asks if Maxie can give him a second. She says, sure, and stays outside, messing with her phone, while he goes in.  

Spinelli tells Jason, it’s terribly painful when you love someone and realize your lives are going in different directions. It’s no one’s fault, but it gets to the point of where staying together means you’ll no longer be your true selves. Jason says he’s sorry, but Spinelli says, don’t. He’s not talking about the situation to dwell on it, but to shine a light on how happy he is for Jason. Jason and Carly accept and understand each other completely, so that day will never happen for Jason. They say marriage is a test. Jason has already passed with flying colors. Maxie says, sorry to interrupt. Not really, because it’s her job. She tells Jason, everything seems to be in order. She spoke to the director, Carly’s putting on her final touches. Nothing else to do but keep everyone on schedule. Spinelli says, and get married, and she says, yes, and get married. Jason says, that he can do. 

On the phone, Britt asks Scotty if he’s heard anything… She knows. She just thought they’d know more by now. She figured Anna was more likely to reach out to him more than her. Just please keep her in the loop… Thanks. Hey, does he think her mom is okay?… She laughs and says, right. Pretty soon, whoever has her will be begging to give her up. Talk soon. At the reception desk, Terry tells Elizabeth, she does look pretty upset. Elizabeth says, she knows, and Terry says, but the DJ is doing a Whitney Houston retrospective tonight. Elizabeth says, it’s Terry’s call. Britt is her Co-Chief. But Elizabeth is Terry’s friend, so whatever she wants to do, Elizabeth is in.    

Carly says Josslyn didn’t have to give her anything, but Josslyn says she did; she’s the maid of honor. It’s a delicate gold chain bracelet with the symbol for eternity in the middle. Josslyn says, originally, she wanted it to check all the boxes; old, new, borrowed, blue. But she realized the old tradition is about warding off the evil eye with good luck, and that’s bull, because Carly never relies on luck or just takes what life hands her. Carly says, that’s not her style, and Josslyn says Carly sees more than what’s offered, and fights for better than what she gets. She makes the impossible possible, and isn’t that what today is about? It’s proof that losing one love doesn’t make it impossible to find another. Carly says, know what she thought was impossible? Loving Josslyn more than she already does, but it just happened. They hug, and Josslyn says she loves Carly too.   

Jax gets Phyllis untied, and Sonny tells Nina, don’t you dare go anywhere. Phyllis comes to, and says, Jax? He asks if she can stand up, and as he walks her out, she says, Nina? Sonny tells them, just go. He’ll get Nina out. Jax takes Phyllis out, and Sonny tells Nina, stay with him. He loves her too much to lose her. She says she loves him too, and kisses his forehead. Um… They might want to get moving.

Spinelli says, as usual, Maxinista, you’ve outdone yourself, but Maxie says, save the congratulations until after the vows are said and the cake is cut. As they know, anything could go wrong. He says he’s available to troubleshoot should the need arise, and she says, and save a dance for her, she hopes. He says, if Austin won’t mind, and she says, let him.

Austin tells Ned and Olivia, daddy used to say it’s not a Quartermaine wedding until someone throws a drink or there’s a duel at dawn. What do they think they have to look forward to today? Olivia asks if he’s serious. He’s going to stand there and act all folksy and familiar with her? One of the gang? He says she seems angry, and she says she is angry. Quit nosing around her kid. He asks how Leo is, and she says, he’s perfect. He says she never brought him by for the follow-up they talked about, and she says, Ned took Leo to his actual pediatrician, who said – wait for it – everything’s perfect. Austin tells her, he’s not suggesting there’s anything wrong with Leo, and she says, he kinda was. He says, he’s only suggesting everyone might benefit from another specialists opinion. She says, or he’s using her kid to worm his way into this family, the same way he used Chase’s crumbling marriage. He asks if she thinks he would manipulate a child to improve his situation in business, and she says, would he? He says, no, he woudn’t. Look at it this way, either way, she wins. Either she proves him wrong, and he hopes she does, or she gets valuable medical information, and they can figure out what to do next. Michael and Jason come out, and Michael asks if there’s a problem. Olivia says, yeah. A big one.

Terry walks past the reception desk, and Britt says, heading out? Terry says, she has plans. And Britt? Britt says, does she have plans or is she going out? Terry says, either one, and Britt says her plan is to catch up on email. Terry says, don’t stay too late, and Elizabeth runs out. She tells Terry, they’ve got a problem. Terry asks, what’s wrong? and Elizabeth says, she tried to update a shared document about the meeting, and she must have pressed the wrong button because it’s just gone. Terry says, the whole thing? and Elizabeth says she doesn’t know what happened. Terry says, there goes her night out, but Britt says, maybe she can help.

Carly says, enough of this or she’ll have to call Angela to redo her makeup. Josslyn says, then she probably shouldn’t tell Carly this. Cam proposed. Carly says, what?! and Josslyn says they’re going to do the chicken dance tonight. Carly tells her, don’t do that again, and Josslyn says, don’t worry. She’s a long way away from getting married. Carly says, years and years and years, and a few more years after that. Someday Josslyn will find someone to love and spend the rest of her life with. When that happens… Josslyn says, if that happens, and Carly says, it will. When that happens, her wish for Josslyn will be that she’s as sure of the person she’s marrying, as Carly is about Jason. Josslyn says she wishes that too.   

Jax deposits Phyllis on one of the patio chairs outside. She asks where Nina and Mike are, and tells Jax, don’t worry about her; go help them. Jax says he’ll be back, and goes inside, while Phyllis coughs her head off. Sonny gets Nina untied, and helps her up. They’re almost out the door, when he looks up. He pushes her out of the way, as a beam comes crashing down on him. Jax grabs her to keep her from going back, and pulls her out. What did I say?

Alexis tells Sam and Dante, she talked to Harmony. She was hoping to convince her to help, but doesn’t know if she was successful. Dante says they’re about to find out right now, when Harmony joins them. She says she can give them a name, and Dante says they’ll take whatever she’s got. She says, Dallas Kirby. Shiloh knew him from his days in the military, and would reach out to Dallas when he needed help… removing an obstacle. Sam thanks her, and Harmony says, be careful. She never met Dallas; she didn’t want to. But all of Shiloh’s associates were dangerous. Sam says, so are they.

Drew looks out the door window, and tells Russ, his nurse is gone. Russ suggests she was apprehended, but Drew says, let’s say she’s not. Where does he think her first stop will be? He’s guessing the U.S. Consulate… or a five-star hotel. He thinks they can both agree she’s completely believable; there’s nothing untrue or fake about her. Chloe is going to tell her story, and it will be backed up by their good friend the internet. Someone is going to enter her name into a search engine, and bingo; who she is, where she’s from, all of it. And their dark little site there, isn’t going to be dark for much longer. Russ is running out of time, so come on. When his boss gets wind of this, he’s got a reason to keep Drew alive, but Russ, not so much. They’ll want to cover their tracks, and he’s a goner. On the radio, Russ hears the guards saying there’s no sign of Chloe, and Drew wonders what’s closer, a hotel or the U.S. Consulate. His offer still stands.

Terry says she can probably reconstruct the notes from memory, but Britt says, two heads are better than one. Terry says, it’s her staff meeting; Britt won’t even be there. Britt says, true, but they’re both Co-Chiefs, and if one of them doesn’t do well at the job, neither of them does. Terry says, you win, and Elizabeth says she’s so sorry. Britt tells her, next time, just be careful. She gives Elizabeth her credit card, and says, maybe they can order pizza. Whatever toppings they want. It’s going to be a late night. Elizabeth looks at Terry, who smiles.

Maxie comes out, and asks if she just heard the word problem. That can’t be right. There are no problems today. None. Nada. Zip. At least none that can’t be postponed until after the wedding. Right, everyone? Ned says, absolutely, and suggests Olivia come with him to check out the flower arrangements in the chapel. Olivia says she already saw them when Maxie ordered them, but he says they can see how they turned out, and steers her away. Maxie says, and Austin. He says, yes? and she says she did mention that she planned the wedding. He says, of course (🍷) she did, and she says, which means she chose the color theme, arranged the flowers, music, reception, and the ten million other details. She did this in less than a month, which is a near super human feat. So please, try not to torpedo it. Michael says, the first, and hopefully the last, crisis averted, and Spinelli tells Jason, it’s time to take his place and await his bride. Jason says, let’s do it.

Josslyn puts the bracelet on Carly, and says, the finishing touch. Carly thanks her again, and Josslyn says she’s just glad Carly likes it, and Carly says she loves it. She stands in front of the mirror, and asks what Josslyn thinks. Josslyn tells Carly, she knows what she said about the bathrobe, and it’s true, but the dress… Carly says, it’s a step up, right? and Josslyn says, it’s almost as stunning as the woman in it. Is she ready? Carly says she is. Let’s get married.

Nina struggles as Jax pulls her outside. He says he’s not letting her go back in; it’s too dangerous. She says she can help him, but Jax won’t let her go. She yells, please, Mike, get out of there! She knows he can do it.

Sonny lies unconscious, as everything burns around him.

Tomorrow, Ned says Austin may be on to something, Trina tells Cameron it’s been quite a day, Spinelli can neither confirm nor deny, and Maxie says, let’s get this show on the road.

The Erika Show Real Housewives of Beverly Hills

Dorit and PK had someone personally deliver the invitations to Dorit’s bridal dress launch/reveal, along with a white rose. Dorit met with party planner Nick, and in her interview, she said, it never rains in L.A. Unless you’re planning a big party outside. She might be a virgin in the bridal business, but she was a pro when it came to throwing parties. We flashed back to some of those, including the Boy George appearance. Dorit and Nick FaceTimed with designer Nektaria. Dorit explained that she wanted to create an atmosphere that seemed like the guests were going to a wedding. She wanted them transported into the mindset of what the dresses represented.

Kathy invited Erika, Kyle, and LisaR to her house for a session with Reiki master Lejla, who also put a 24 karat mask on their hands and faces. LisaR and Kathy went first, while Kyle chatted with Erika – i.e. pumped her for information. Kyle asked about Sutton, and Erika said that door was closed; they weren’t working through it. She didn’t need it in her life. She then told Kyle that Tom’s house had been broken into. He’d confronted the burglar, and now needed eye surgery. How we got from a burglary to eye surgery, was a blank space. Afterward, Erika’s son went to check on Tom in the hospital, and ran into snow on his way back, flipping his car five times. Where he hit this snow was also unclear. In Kyle’s interview, she said it was a pattern with Erika. They would find out later there was a big situation going on that she’d kept to herself. When she withheld information, it made it hard to support her. Her story sounded unbelievable. That didn’t mean Kyle didn’t believe her, but it sounded unbelievable. Yeah. I’m starting to think so too. Especially since Erika seems dead behind the eyes.

Garcelle’s dating coach Damona came by, and we flashed back to their last meeting. In Garcelle’s interview, she said, after her divorce, trust issues kept her from dating. Call her old school, but she didn’t want to swipe to meet someone. Damona had called upon matchmaker Bonnie, and Garcelle had submitted her list. She wanted a strong, confident man, who knows who he is. A great father if he had kids, as well as good to his mom, and confident enough to let her be her. He needed to be monogamous, kind, sexy, and know how to dance. She would do the cooking. Bonnie showed her a picture of a guy with abs for days, who looked a little like Kevin Costner. Kyle visited Crystal, who talked about how she and her husband were reconstructing the basement to the tune of six-figures. Down from a million. In Crystal’s interview, she said her father was frugal, and so was she, but Rob, not so much. She did spend money on things that increased in value, like her $95K Hermes bag, and renovation would appreciate their home. They talked about Erika and Sutton, which is already getting old, and how Garcelle felt like an outsider. Crystal thought Garcelle didn’t have a large circle of close friends. She was more guarded, and took more time to open up.

Dorit and PK had dinner with Kyle and Mauricio. Kyle passed along Erika’s story to Dorit, adding another car flip, and making it six. Dorit repeated the story at dinner, and told PK and Mauricio about the other accident Erika claimed Tom had. PK wondered what the odds were statistically for Tom to have two of those accidents, and thought it was impossible. Dorit asked if he was suggesting Erika wasn’t telling the truth, and PK said he was suggesting Erika was still being controlled. Mauricio said there were lies all over the place, and in Kyle’s interview, she said this was making her question herself. It was more difficult when you were closer to the situation. Dorit admitted there were details missing, but didn’t believe Erika was lying. In Dorit’s interview, she wondered why anyone would make up a story that difficult to believe. Dorit brought up PK’s opinion on Erika’s Instagram, and PK said he loved a comeback, but Erika wasn’t going to get one if she couldn’t break loose of the shackles she was in.

Everyone got ready for Dorit’s party, and in Dorit’s interview, she said, if it hadn’t been for covid, she would have had a bigger launch. It would have been in a warehouse, with the models on 15’ ladders, and clouds in the sky, but she had to scale back, and was doing it in the house. At least it was going to be special, and she was definitely throwing money at it. Sutton brought boyfriend Michael, and was understandably nervous. In Crystal’s interview, she said she was floored. It felt like she was at a wedding. I had to agree, it was beautiful; all white, and gold, and white roses. Erika showed up wearing a crazy ponytail hanging from a hoop in her hair; Kathy brought architect Jesse, I guess as a friend; and LisaR had a hard time getting up the steps, her pencil skirt was so tight. Apparently, scaled back meant no one except the people in the cast.   

Before dinner, Dorit turned everyone’s attention to a glass wall with a curtain behind it. In her interview, she said putting her name on something meant it was her work, creativity, and design. The curtain rose, and the models were there, displaying Dorit’s collection. In Sutton’s interview, she said the models were beautiful, and the dresses were beautiful. Dorit pulled it off. And she’d been to a lot of fashion shows. Dorit thought that since her friends were fashionable, their opinions were a good indication of how her dresses would be received. It was a euphoric feeling. Everyone sat down, and Dorit’s daughter Phoenix kicked the pseudo runway show off by playing flower girl, and scattering rose petals. The models came out, one by one, as Dorit described each style, concluding with the one she was wearing. In LisaR’s interview, she said it was a far step from Beverly Beach. One design used 14,000 pearls, and Kyle thought her entire wedding probably cost as much as the dress did. Afterward, there was a lot of applause, dinner was served, and Dorit said, mission accomplished. The doorbell rang, and Harry joined them, Kathy saying, they hadn’t seen him since they brought covid to his house. He talked to Erika, asking how she was holding up, and everyone congratulated him on his upcoming role as Tom Brokaw, after which he did a mean imitation. Dorit told everyone to mingle, as much as you can mingle with a handful of people, which basically meant the guys split off from the women and went outside. In this week’s edition of Kathy’s caper, Kyle told everyone that Kathy thought the photo of Bernie Sanders in mittens was the new Elf on a Shelf. She wondered who this old man was she was seeing everywhere. Does this woman never read a paper, look at the news, read a book, look at anything other than her place settings? It’s definitely amusing, but also mind-boggling.

Kyle said Garcelle had everyone up in arms over a social media comment that went everywhere. She’d said people were coming after her, and she was going to be coming after them. In Garcelle’s interview, she said when she’d made the comments, it was after LisaR’s lip kit launch (try saying that five times, real fast), when things were heated. Dorit demanded to know who Garcelle was talking about, and Garcelle said, Dorit, for one. Dorit insisted she hadn’t come after Garcelle, and in her interview, she said, if Garcelle had a problem, she should voice it. Don’t just be provocative to be interesting. No comment. She said she thought they’d moved past their issues, and Garcelle said she could still have her opinions. Dorit said she spoke four languages, and it didn’t make sense in any of them.

LisaR, who was sitting at the table with Erika, wondered if they should go over, but Erika said she wasn’t doing that. Garcelle said she felt like no one stood up for her at LisaR’s launch except Sutton. No one ever took her side. Dorit said she didn’t believe Garcelle was an outsider, and Garcelle had to explain it was how she felt, and had nothing to do with what Dorit thought. In Garcelle’s interview, she said, LisaR claimed she wanted to repair the friendship, but never stood up for her. Now she was just watching. In LisaR’s interview, she said Garcelle had been called out for being jabby and shady. If she felt like injustice had been done, she’d say something, but Garcelle was a big girl. Translation: she’d only back someone up if she got something out of it. Harry wondered if it was safe, but LisaR told him, no, and he wisely retreated back to the patio. In her interview, Garcelle said, Dorit wanted the truth, but could she handle it? She’d be honest and see how it went.    

Next time, the Grand del Mar, seals mating ,Erika asks why Sutton is talking to her, and Garcelle says that she’s tried to fit in her whole life.

🛺 Getting a Move On…

See you next time with soap and Million Dollar highlights. Until then, stay safe, stay crazy like a fox, and stay not negating anyone’s feelings, no matter how many languages you speak.