What I Watched Today
(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)
General Hospital
Curtis says, Drew made it, and Drew says, of course (🍷) he did. It’s an honor to be included. He hugs Curtis and Portia, and Curtis says, welcome to their new home. Drew says he’s a little jealous he didn’t snatch it for himself, and Portia says, he’ll just have to settle with life at the Quartermaines. He says, their place doesn’t come with nosy cousins. Stella and TJ join them, and Stella says, Curtis and Portia will just have to settle for one nosey aunt instead. Curtis says, she said it, not him, and Drew says, it’s nice to see Stella again. She says, him too. She understands he’s been through a lot since she saw him last, and he says, things are definitely improving. He asks TJ how things are at the hospital, and TJ says he was just regaling his family on the ins and outs of an ACL repair. Stella says she definitely wants to hear more about it, especially the part where TJ might be closing in on a specialty. Trina comes in, and Drew asks Curtis how she’s doing. Curtis says he and Portia are going their best to support her, but those charges against her are insane. They’re going to have to fight like hell until it’s over. Drew says he’s sure it helps that the people close to her know the accusations are absolutely bogus, and Curtis says, unfortunately, the person Trina’s thinking about is the one person who hasn’t realized that yet.
Spencer punches the heavy bag, like he’s ever been at a gym before, and Sonny walks in. Spencer says he was just finishing up. Unless Sonny has more to say about his lecture; the company he keeps and all that. Sonny tells him, he said all he has to say, and Spencer leaves.
Laura says she certainly hopes Esme had nothing to do with this video of Josslyn and Cameron, and Esme says, of course (🍷) she didn’t. Why won’t anyone believe her? Nikolas comes in, and says, they just have to let the police investigation run its course. In the meantime, he’s keeping an open mind. Laura says, her son has extended his hospitality to Esme. She hopes Esme won’t betray that trust. Ava walks in, and says, they already know the answer to that, and Nikolas says, she’s back. She says, live and in person, and he says, she made her position on sharing a roof with Esme quite clear last night. Ava says, since then, she’s come to realize that some things are more important than her feelings about Esme. He says, what’s that? and she says, this is her damn house too.
At the MetroCourt, Victor sends a text: Get it done. There’s too much at stake. Yohan joins him, and says, Victor wanted to see him, and Victor says he wants Yohan to keep an eye on things in Port Charles, only for a week or two. Yohan asks where Victor is going, and Victor says he has some business to attend to overseas. Yohan says, he’s leaving town just as Kurt has been exposed. Doesn’t that look like he’s fleeing the country? Victor says, unless of course (🍷) that’s exactly what he’s doing.
Anna leaves a message for Valentin, saying, the last time they spoke, he said he was coming back to town shortly, and she was wondering if that’s still the plan. Could he call her maybe, or text? She has some things she needs to update him on before he comes back. She knocks on Sam’s apartment door, and Dante opens it, thanking her for coming. She says their message sounded urgent, and Sam says, they think they uncovered something that can prove Luke was murdered. Anna says, they have her attention, and Sam says, ever since she and Drew ran into Victor on the docks, she’s had Spinelli monitoring the dark web. Anna asks what he found, and Sam says, they’re working on the theory that Victor’s interest in Drew was somehow connected to Luke’s death. They’re trying to make sense of all of it right now. Dante says, they’re trying to connect the two crimes somehow. It didn’t make sense that Luke was murdered, Victor returns, and the Ice Princess is stolen. Anna says, the overlap is too much of a coincidence.
Yohan asks what Victor means, that’s what he’s doing? and Victor says he’s joking. Far from it. It’s legitimate business he has to take care of. He’ll be back before anyone even knows he’s gone. Yohan says, Mayor Collins, DA Scorpio, and Anna Devane all suspect they have something to do with the incident in Austria last December, and Victor says, but of course (🍷) they didn’t. He has a hunch the authorities will find someone who’s a much more credible suspect than either one of them.
Laura suggests she and Esme give Nikolas and Ava a few minutes to talk, and Ava thanks her, saying, they wouldn’t want to get the mother-to-be all worked up in her delicate condition. Esme says, turns out it was a false alarm. She’s not pregnant, but Spence’s grandmother was right. No doubt Ava and Nikolas have much to discuss. They leave, and Ava looks at Nikolas.
In the foyer, Spencer walks in, and Esme says, that was fast. He asks what they’re doing in the foyer, and Laura says, they’re giving his dad and Ava some privacy to talk. Esme asks where he was, and he says he was at the gym. She says, so that’s why he rushed out of here this morning; so he could get away from her?
Drew asks Curtis if there have been anymore updates about Marshall, but Curtis says, not since he found a hole in Marshall’s story. He asked Jordan to access some sealed arrest records, but she wasn’t going for it. He even reached out to Sonny; see if he could use his resources to get the job done. Drew says he hopes Sonny turned Curtis down, and Curtis says, as a matter-of-fact he did. Why does Drew make that sound like a good thing? Drew says, not exactly good or neutral, but organized crime has been trying to make inroads since Curtis has owned the club. Curtis doesn’t want to owe the mob any favors. Curtis flashes back to Selena approaching him about having no limits Texas Hold ‘Em in his back room, and Curtis agrees it’s probably best.
Selena walks into the gym, and says, no phones, no distractions. The pungent musk of testosterone, charming in its own way. Sonny asks what he can do for her, and she says she stopped by his office, but no one was there. She knew this place was right around the corner, so she took a gamble that he’d be here. He says he never took her for a gambling woman, and she says, it has its time, and its place. He says, is that why she wanted to see him? He likes to keep certain aspects of his life private. This is his boxing gym, if she knows what he means. So if she wants to make an appointment, they can have this conversation in his office. She says she’s happy to reschedule, but on her end, the newly appointed Police Commissioner Ashford has been taking notice of her comings and goings. It might arouse suspicion if she were to stop by his office with any frequency. Here, she’s just a professional, potentially interested in a membership to attend a self-defense class. He tells her, make it quick, and she says, her plan is to expand a fraction of her business in Port Charles, gaming mainly, which doesn’t conflict with any of Sonny’s business interests. She feels it’s been an underserved market since Luke Spencer moved away. She would start small, once she finalizes the location, provided of course (🍷) she secures his blessing first. He tells her, what if he says no?
Laura says she thinks it would be in Esme’s best interest not to lose her temper, because it looks like she and Spencer are going to be living here for a while. Esme says, of course (🍷) Laura is on Spence’s side, and Laura says, no; she’s on the side of keeping the peace. She’s just saying she thinks they all need to take a deep breath, and step back from this moment a little bit, okay? In fact, why don’t they join her and Doc for lunch? She thinks they should both get out of the house while Nikolas and Ava talk. Spencer thanks her for the kind offer, but says he thinks he and Esme have things to discuss as well, and Esme tells him, if you say so. Laura says, if they change their minds, they’re welcome to join her. She moves to hug Spencer, but he says he’s super gross, and she laughs, saying, it’s thoughtful of him. She loves him. Try to be kind to each other. Laura leaves, and he tells Esme, he left because he had a lot of thinking to do. She says she supposes they both did. They said some horrible things to each other over the last few weeks, because he’s fallen in love with another girl, or is he going to keep denying it?
TJ asks Trina how she is, and she says she’s compartmentalizing. Nothing’s really happening with her case today, so she’s just staying focused in the present. It is a housewarming party, right? He says, right, and she says, that’s what she’s supposed to say, but really she just wants to scream, she’s framed and she’s innocent. She wants to say that in person, on Twitter, on TikTok, but she can’t, because every time she says she’s innocent, people think somehow she might still be guilty. He says he gets it. He got accused of doing something he didn’t do, when he was her age actually. Not to the same degree to what she’s facing, but he knows what it’s like to be wrongly accused, and how being passionate about defending yourself can turn into this nonsensical feedback. She thanks him for saying that, and tells him, it’s so strange to find her life spiraling out of control when she didn’t do anything wrong.
Stella tells Portia that she and Curtis buying this house together really caught her by surprise. Back in her day, people didn’t move in together so quickly. Portia says, really? and Stella says, she’s not judging. Times change. At her age, you realize you have to seize your happiness where you can find it. Portia says, is that code for telling her maybe she’s happy for them? and Stella says she’s just reiterating what she told Portia over the holidays. She misjudged the connection Portia and Curtis have. It was just her projecting her concerns about Curtis moving on too quickly. He signed the divorce papers, and… Stella remembers putting the envelope in her purse, and Portia asks if she’s okay.
Anna says, very interesting Dante and Sam would make that connection, because Laura, Robert, and herself believe that the Ice Princess is connected to Victor’s return to town, and unfortunately, Luke’s death most likely. Dante says, according to his mother and Ned, Tracy was pretty blindsided when she found out her diamond was fake; that the real Ice Princess was swapped out before Luke was killed. Sam says, the simplest of theories, Luke was killed to prevent him from catching on to the swap, and Dante says, but that doesn’t explain the theft in the first place. No one steals the Ice Princess so they can put it in their own collection on display. They steal it so they can sell it to someone else. Sam says, unless they want to sell it for a whole lot of money, and Dante says, that’s when Spinelli got a hit this morning. Anna asks, what is it? and Sam brings her over to the laptop, and says, a black market auction. The description pretty much explains what it’s about. Anna reads, what remains of what was once the largest uncut diamond in the world, and says, they found it.
Nikolas says, Ava is right. This is her home as much as it is his, which is why he’s so glad she came around to the idea of remaining here. Despite her reservations about Esme, she has to look at the bigger picture. Whatever she may have done, she doesn’t deserve to be on the receiving end of Sonny’s wrath. Ava says, once again, he’s listening with his heart, instead of his ears, and he says, how so? She tells him, she never said she’d come around to anything. Esme is a liar and a cheat. She’s a conniving reptile, who framed Trina, who’s practically a daughter to her. She’ll never be okay with Esme living here, but she’ll be damned if she lets that off-brand sociopath drive her from her home and marriage.
Stella tells Portia, sorry; she got lost in thought. She’s glad Portia didn’t listen to her when she was being overprotective of Curtis. Portia says, for what it’s worth (🍷), she can certainly understand the impulse, and Stella says, she’s scared for Trina. Portia says, of course (🍷) she is. She’s worried Trina’s entire future will be completely destroyed, if not seriously tainted, over something she absolutely did not do. Stella says she knows as a parent, every fiber in Portia’s being wants to fix Trina’s problems, but there’s only so much you can do. And that feeling of helplessness makes it all the more terrifying. The doorbell rings, and Stella says she thought they were keeping this small; just Drew and family. Who did they invite? Curtis says, no one, and opens the door to find Marshall.
Selena tells Sonny that she must have gotten the wrong impression from their previous conversation. She thought he was on board with cooperation between their two families. He says he’s all for the spirit of cooperation, but they were discussing access to the docks. She never once brought up bringing gambling to Port Charles. She says, it’s an area where their family’s interests don’t overlap. They wouldn’t be in competition as he keeps his gambling interests off-shore. And as this is his territory, of course (🍷) she’d offer him a percentage of the profits. He says, sounds reasonable, but his term still stands; no drugs at all. She says, understood, and he says he’ll let her know about his other terms, but let him say one thing. If he finds out there’s any drugs, or anybody dealing drugs during the games, he’ll shut it down. No second chances. She says she agrees to his terms, and thinks they have a deal. He holds out his hand, and they shake.
Anna says, this diamond up for auction has to be the Ice Princess, and Dante says, they just have to figure out who’s selling Luke’s prized possession. Sam says, maybe the same person who killed Luke, and Anna says, whoever that person is, she believes it’s going to lead them right back to Victor. Sam says they’re going to have to prove they’re in possession of the necessary funds before they make a bid, or they’re not going to get the location of the auction. Anna says, they do that partially because they want to weed out any law enforcement, and Dante says, not much point in showing them their bank accounts. Anna says, when Duke died, he left her a rather large sum of money, which she’s always felt uncomfortable spending because of the ambiguous ways it was acquired. She put some aside for Robin’s education, and the rest she turned into cryptocurrency in case one day she ever had to investigate cyber-crimes. Sam says, it’s totally up to Anna, and Anna says, unless the meet the threshold, they’re not going to be invited to this auction, and she can tell them, the Ice Princess will bring some pretty unsavory characters out of the woodwork. They should do it. Sam says, okay, and starts typing.
French Polynesia. Jennifer Smith sits at a tiki bar, on the phone and sipping a drink. Obviously talking to a partner, perhaps romantic, she says she shouldn’t be much longer. She has very important business to attend to.
Curtis asks what brings Marshall by, and Marshall says he heard they were having a housewarming to celebrate their new home. He hands Curtis a bottle of wine, and asks if he got the wrong date. TJ says he invited grandpa to join, since it’s mainly a family gathering. Curtis says, come on in, and Stella and Marshall acknowledge each other.
Spencer says, his feelings for Trina are complicated, and Esme says, let her see if she has this straight. His feelings for Trina are complicated, so he simplifies things by believing the worst in her. She guesses so he can believe the best in Trina. But now what? He knows she’s not the one responsible for that horrible video. Does that mean there’s a path forward for them? Or she can just leave Port Charles. She can just hope the executor of her trust fund takes pity on her, so that just maybe she can walk away with enough money for a plane ticket and an apartment somewhere on the continent, because now that there’s no baby, there doesn’t seem to be anything keeping them together. She starts to walk out, but he grabs her arm, and says, wait.
Portia asks if Trina is feeling okay; is she eating? Trina says, she’s embarrassed about what has her down the most. Joss and Cam think she’s innocent, Portia and her dad know she’s innocent, Ava does too, and she’s even starting to get the feeling Commissioner Ashford knows in her heart that she’s innocent. Portia says, that should make Trina feel more loved and supported, and Trina says, it does, but why can’t she stay focused on that? Why is she stuck on this one person who thinks she’s guilty. The way Spencer looked at her in the interrogation room… It really hurt her when he asked if she was the one who betrayed Joss and Cam. Portia says, part of growing up is learning the pain of putting your faith in someone who doesn’t give it back to you. She knows it hurts like hell, but it’s also going to teach her who her true friends are in this life. Trina says, it’s funny, because she doesn’t think Spencer really believes she’s guilty. She thinks he wants to believe it, so he can make his messed up situation with Esme easier accept. But that’s always been Spencer’s problem. He wants to do what’s right, but when it really matters, he does what’s easy.
Yohan tells Victor, the more he knows, the more he can help him, when Laura walks in. She heads for the bar, and Victor says, that’s a very kind offer, but in this case, the less Yohan knows, the better. Will Yohan excuse him? At the bar, Laura asks Trish for an ice tea, and Victor approaches. He says, dining alone? but she says, no. She’s meeting her husband for lunch; he’s just running late. He says, patient in distress? and she says, none of his business. He says, since Doc is delayed, perhaps he can offer her a drink, but she says she doesn’t think there’s a martini dry enough to make that offer enticing. He says, ouch; that hurt. She says she knows he heard from Spencer regarding Esme’s possible pregnancy – she’s not, by the way. He says, that’s certainly a relief, but what exactly did he say to Spencer that upset her so much? She says, he offered to handle it for Spencer, and he says he’s sure she’ll agree that Spencer, although a fine young man, is hardly mature enough to raise a child on his own. Unless of course (🍷) it’s okay with Laura that Spencer and Esme are tied to each other for the rest of their lives.
Jennifer says she knows he doesn’t see the value in this auction. It seems wasteful to spend the millions they’ve acquired thus far on something so extravagant. But this belonged to her dear, dead ex-husband, and though she is committed to moving on with her life, she does owe it to him, and to herself… To make sure his most treasured possession stays with someone who cared deeply about him. The Ice Princess simply belongs with me… I mean, us.
Sam says, all they have to do is wait and see if they’re admitted to the auction, and Dante asks if Anna is okay. She says, yeah. Luke was so instrumental in bringing Duke home, she’d like to think wherever Duke is, he’s smiling because his estate is going to a good cause. Dante says she’s putting up a fortune in crypto. Before they go ahead, she should think about the fact this might not have to do with Luke’s death or Victor Cassadine. Anna told them that the inspector was some fanatical true believer of some cause. Anna says, committed to the point of taking his own life. Whatever the inspector believed, he thought his goals were noble and justified to orchestrate this horrible tram car crash that cost so many people their lives. Sam says, the theft of the Ice Princess could have been motivated financially, don’t they think? And not politically? Dante says, or they go hand in hand. Or maybe Victor was exploiting the true believer for his own cause. The sale of the Ice Princess could fund Victor’s belief or cause for a lifetime. Not that he’d let on having a belief other than in himself or his family. Anna says, that they know of.
Marshall says he knows he hasn’t given Drew an answer about the position Drew offered him. He hopes Drew doesn’t think he’s stringing him along. Drew asks if Marshall minds him asking what the delay’s about, and Marshall says, his band picked up more gigs. He started to wonder if being a jazz concierge for Aurora might become a conflict of interest. The last thing he wants to do is keep the job from somebody else who might need it more than him. Drew says, they’re still interviewing other candidates, but keep him posted. Drew excuses himself, and Marshall tells Curtis that he has some nice friends, and a really nice partner. Curtis says he’s a lucky man. In fact, he and Portia were thinking about taking a vacation after they settled in the house, but he guesses all that will have to wait until the situation with Trina is resolved. Marshall says, Curtis has to take care of his family; he has to put them first. Don’t make the mistake he did. Where were they planning on going? Curtis says, Portia has always wanted to go to Buenos Aires; has Marshall been there? Marshall says, yeah, that was a long time ago. He’s sure the city’s changed since he’s been there. if Curtis will excuse him for a second, he’s got to check out that view. Marshall goes out on the patio – where there are an awful lot of trees for it being a beach house – and takes out his pill bottle. Stella comes out, and asks what he thinks he’s doing.
Stella asks if Marshall thinks it’s wise to be popping those pills so openly, and he says, Curtis is already aware of his heart medication; that’s all these are. She says she had to wonder if it’s something else. He’s taking a big chance that could make the truth come out. Marshall says he wouldn’t do that, and she says, listen to her. She’s in this way too deep to go back on her word to Ilene now, and she needs to know that this will not blow up in her face. Her relationship with Curtis, with her family, cannot be collateral damage. He says he appreciates all she’s done for Curtis during his absence, but if anyone is Curtis’s or TJ’s family, it’s him. He goes back inside.
Selena says she was sorry to hear about Sonny’s divorce from Carly, but he says, let’s not go there. She says, family is so important, but that doesn’t mean they can’t be a huge disappointment. She has a few in her own family whose loyalty leaves much to be desired; that’s why their chosen families are so important. He says, this is as good a segue as any. He found Jason’s successor. Brick is going to be serving as second in command. He’s going to be doing Jason’s day to day management. Selena says she’s quite fond of him. This is good news, especially given the rumblings she’s been hearing – no doubt he has as well – about a new family that’s been amassing power on the west coast under radar.
Jennifer says, beyond the sentimental value of the Ice Princess, acquiring it will send a message to the entire underworld that they’re a major force to be reconned with, which will enable them to expedite and expand their program and operations at a much brisker pace than they originally planned. They’ve already expanded through much of the west coast without drawing too much attention from the other families. If she wins this auction, it will only be a matter of time before they can start moving east, and strike right at the heart of Port Charles.
Anna says, they placed Victor’s assistant Yohan in Austria at the time of the tram car crash, and he has shown undying loyalty to Victor; far more than salary alone would justify. Sam says, it depends on how big his salary is, and Dante says, maybe they have to figure out what’s near and dear to old Yohan. The laptop beeps, and Sam says, their crypto account passed the test. They’ve been invited to join the auction of the Ice Princess.
Laura says she doesn’t want to get into this with Victor, especially in public. He asks if she can honestly fault him for trying to look out for a family member’s needs; offering to take care of this problem? She says she knows too well what it means for a Cassadine to handle a situation like this, and she’d like something better for those two kids, and for Nikolas.
Nikolas says, so Ava hasn’t had a change of heart? and she says, no, but she’ll do whatever’s necessary to protect those she cares about. That includes protecting him from his own worst instincts. If anybody gets kicked to the curb, it’s going to be Esme, not her. He says, kicking Esme out isn’t an option since Ava decided to sic Sonny on her. She knew damn well what Sonny is capable of if he believes someone hurt his family. She asks if he’s forgotten what she’s capable of; what he’s capable of? Or has he already rewritten their history into some sweet fairytale? He’s so much smarter than this, and honestly, it pains her to see he’s fallen for this poor abandoned waif act. He asks if this is looking out for him and Trina, or is this her keeping a promise to his mother? Because his mother wants her to look out for him, since he’s so naïve and doesn’t know better? It’s so insulting. She says they can go back and forth like this much as they want, but really it comes down to this. As long as he’s choosing to protect Esme, they won’t be sharing a bed. He asks if that’s an ultimatum, and she says, what if it is? He says, then let him remind her, he doesn’t respond well to ultimatums.
Sonny tells Selena, Brick mentioned something months ago about a rival family on the west coast. He hasn’t heard anything since. She says, in her experience, people who can amass power under the radar do the most damage. They’re not their problem today, but one day, they will be. He says he guesses it’s good they’re in the same corner, and she says he has her word that she’ll keep him in the loop with whatever she hears, if he does the same. He says, deal, and she says, deal. Enjoy the rest of his day. She leaves, and he shakes his head.
Drew says he’s happy for Curtis and Portia. He has to get going, but the place is so beautiful. Curtis says he’ll walk Drew out. As Drew leaves, Stella comes back in not looking so well. Portia says, before anyone else leaves, why don’t they take a family photo? Their first get together in their new home. TJ says they’ll use his phone, and Portia brings Trina over. Stella is hanging around he buffet table, and Portia asks what she’s doing. Get over here, and get in this picture. Stella looks at them, her vision goes blurry, and she collapses.
Ava says, so that’s it; Nikolas won’t listen to reason. He says, neither one of them is listening to reason. She’s ignoring evidence and trusting her gut, and he’s trusting his. She says, the way she sees it, he’s trusting a girl who torched her car, who stalked and terrorized her. They all know how twisted Esme’s mind is. She trusts Trina with all her heart, and he says, he’s not saying Esme is completely innocent; far from it, but the evidence is pointing to Trina, not Esme. She says, evidence can be planted; they both know that. He says, Spencer wants to protect Esme, and he wants to stand by his son. Don’t put him in a position where he has to choose her or his son. He’s already done that once, and it didn’t turn out too well. Don’t back him into that corner again. She says, there’s nothing left to discuss, and he says, so that’s it? Nothing has changed since last night? She came all this way to tell him she’s not moving back? She says, no. She said they won’t be sharing a bed as long as Esme is here. However, Windymere belongs to her too, and she’s not letting Esme take it away from her. There are plenty of guest rooms and cottages on the property for her to stay in and keep an eye on things. At least until he opens his.
Esme suggests they just rip off the Band-Aid and be done with it, but Spencer says he doesn’t want her to leave. She says she doesn’t want to leave, but she doesn’t want to be roommates. She wants to be them again. He says he’s not there yet, but if she stays, they can figure it out. One step at a time. He hugs her.
Victor tells Laura, he wants more for Nikolas and Spencer. More than he was offered by his family. She says, if he’s going for sympathy, he’s wasting his time. He says he knows she thinks he’s heartless, but she’s mistaken. He cares deeply about what the next generation is going to have to endure. They both want to leave them a better world. They might differ in their methods, but surely their interests are aligned. She says, she may need that drink after all and will he stop calling her Shirley. He says he means it. He’s deadly serious. Just think about this possibility. Imagine a world where they stop being enemies, and instead, they work together toward a common goal.
Sam says, the auction is being held at a hotel in French Polynesia, and Anna asks Sam to send her the address. She has a WSB agent who will get her there undetected. In the meantime, why doesn’t Sam have Spinelli do a deep dive on Yohan? See what they can turn up. She’ll be in touch. Dante tells her to be careful. She’s going into a den of millionaires, mobsters, and megalomaniacs. She says she’ll do her best. In the hallway, she leaves Valentin another message. She says she’s going out of town, so she won’t be here when he comes back. She has to be honest. She’s starting to get worried about the fact that he’s completely unreachable.
Jennifer says she’ll let him know how it goes, every detail. She hangs up, and sips her drink. She tells the bartender that she’s ready for another, and he says she’s got it. A man says, s’il vous plait, madame’s next drink is on me. It’s Valentin, wearing a moustache and naval officer uniform, and he asks if this chair is taken.
Tomorrow, Curtis says, call 9-1-1; Michael says, the only thing he wants to hit Smoltz with is an offer; Valentin romances Jennifer; and Sonny tells Nina, defense is easier when you see the hit coming.
The Real Housewives of Orange County
Noella says, Heather saying she hurt her feelings hit her hard. Gina and Emily stand on the stairs listening, and Noella says, she apologizes if she said anything that hurt Heather’s family. Heather doesn’t say anything, and Noella asks if Heather is receiving that or even heard it. Heather says, it’s not how she feels about what Noella said, but what Noella said. She feels for what Noella is going through, so when things have come up, she’s let them go. But at some point, Heather’s family and life are more important to her than whatever Noella is going through. Gina and Emily go to the kitchen, and have chicken salad with Shannon. Noella asks if Heather put her hands on a crew member, and Heather says she didn’t touch anyone. Noella can keep going there, but she said Heather was slamming people up against the wall, and she saw it. Noella doesn’t recall saying that, and Heather says, she admitted to the girls that she lied, and didn’t see anything. We flash back to that, and Heather says she can’t do this with Noella anymore. In Gina’s interview, she says she can’t express how happy she is to be having a conversation about chicken salad with Shannon as opposed to the alternative, fighting in the other room. Noella says she did follow Heather down the staircase, and Heather says she’s done. In her interview, Gina says, maybe Heather and Noella should have some chicken salad. It promotes friendship. Heather says, Noella is a liar and a thirsty girl; she’s done. She walks to the kitchen, and Noella says she’s shocked Heather knows what thirsty means. I guess the implication is that Heather is old, but she does have a few young kids. Noella joins everyone, and says, it couldn’t be resolved. Her apology isn’t enough; she’s a pathological liar and just makes things up. Heather says, that’s a different diagnosis, and in Gina’s interview, she says, the altitude combined with the alcohol, makes chicken salad the only conversation she can have. Gina suggests Noella just say she was wrong and apologize, but Heather says, she can’t. Shannon says she’s going to bed. She literally had two hours sleep.
Gina calls Travis, and tells him, it’s stunningly beautiful, and they have a chef. She’s suffering. In her interview, she says, Mark, Chef Leigh, and Landon are a dream team. They handle everything, and all she has to do is chew, swallow, and digest. Travis tells her that he’s the staff at home. Landon makes a drink for Noella, and Gina doesn’t think it’s wise to give Noella vodka and a bow and arrow, as they’re going for an archery lesson. In Emily’s interview, she says, she’s glad they decided on archery. Shannon had talked about going to a gun range, and Shannon with a gun and her erratic hands – we flash back to Shannon flailing around – are not safe for anyone. Landon brings Noella a bloody Mary and a bowl of fruit, saying it will make her day better. Noella calls her friend Keni, who looks like she’s had way too many lip injections, and says, they’re doing archery. She doesn’t think she should be with weapon right now, so she’s having breakfast in bed. Yesterday was a great day, everyone was bonding, and Heather came after her, calling her a liar, and screaming at her in a crowded restaurant. I wonder how she’ll justify her exaggerating after seeing the show, but I’m sure she’ll find a way, whether it makes sense or not. Heather tells Emily and Gina that Noella is a prevaricator, and has to explain that the word means liar. Noella tells Keni, what she said about Heather was out there and it was her karma. When she said that to Heather, Heather told Noella, all the things that were going on in her life, like her divorce and her son’s autism, were her karma. She cries, and says, it’s so disgusting. In Noella’s interview, she says, it’s a new low for Heather Dubrow. She didn’t think Heather could get any lower. Keni says she wishes she could be there with Noella, and Noella says, it’s high school with wrinkles. Heather tells Emily and Gina, if it wasn’t so irritating, it would be fascinating, and Noella tells Keni, since she’s all about the truth, it must be annihilating for Heather. I’m not so sure Noella inhabits the same planet as the rest of us.
It’s time for archery, and Shannon has a whole outfit to go with it. In Heather’s interview, she says she’d love to see Shannon’s closet. Shannon likes to dress up, and she wonders what Shannon and John do at home. In Shannon’s interview, she says, she doesn’t know if Noella should join the group today. Every time she’s with them, someone comes after her. Maybe she needs a break. Noella has been through a lot; let her rest. In the limo bus, Emily tells Gina that if Noella doesn’t come to this, she won’t be going to the next thing, since they’re going directly there. In Gina’s interview, she says, Noella says she wants to be part of the group, and now she’s locking herself in her room. Heather says, she and Noella can’t agree to disagree about this, and Jen repeats what she says. In her interview, Emily says, Jen doesn’t have many original thoughts. She follows Heather around, and parrots what Heather says. She just repeats everything. We flash back to several instances, and I’d never noticed it before, but she does, and it’s weird.
In Noella’s interview, she says, with everything she’s going through, she feels disconnected from the things that make her feel safe. She misses her kids and wants to be home, and she’s mourning the loss of her father. She got an email with the final divorce papers, and she was reading through it. There were things she hadn’t thought about, like the destruction of their embryos. She can’t catch a break or her breath. She needs a time out from life. She goes to the creek, and in her interview, she says, her father would have loved it. She misses him, and it’s the first time she’s connected to that feeling. She scream/cries.
They get to the archery range, where they meet their instructor Douglas, who is a master fischel, whatever that is. He says, they’ve come to be warriors, and to learn the way of the bow. They do breathing exercises, and Emily gets a bullseye with her first shot. Shannon does too, and Emily gets another. They shoot at balloons, and in Gina’s interview, she says, Emily is crushing the activities game. She was a badass with horseback riding. If it comes to a Hunger Games situation, she’s glad Emily’s on her side. In Emily’s interview, she says she’s excited about their trip to the mine. If you want to learn things, you do the weird underground things, like seeing the mine, not go shopping at Louis Vuitton. The women decide to meet at the house for lunch later.
Gina and Emily decide to fetch Noella, and Gina says, if Noella wants to have fun, she’ll have fun, but she’s not Noella’s therapist. She knows Noella is feeling a lot, but she’s not going there, and Emily says, neither is she. On the ride to the mine, Emily brings along food, saying, archery made her hungry. In Noella’s interview, she says, they have zero interest in seeing how she is. Just a, how are you, how was your day? would go a long way. She’s gluing a smile on her face. They arrive at Clark Tunnel, where guide Jay says he’s going to give them the smuggler’s mine tour. In her interview, Noella says, she and Emily don’t have a good track record with going in cave like structures, and we flash back to the sweat lodge. She says, at least the temperature is more to her liking. Emily asks if anyone has died in the mine, and Jay says, yep. She asks if he’s seen any ghosts, but he says, nope. Noella says, there must be a ghost if someone died here, and Gina says she should have brought her demon dust. In her interview, she says, she acquired the demon dust when getting her demon extraction. It’s basically her saying, it’s cool you’re here, but eat that bitch not me. Thank you. Emily forgets to duck, and whacks her head. Jay says, back in the day, the average minor was 5’4” to 5’6”, and does a mining demonstration.
The others go on hike, and visit a footbridge. They sit by the creek, and now I notice how Jen repeats what Heather says. Heather says she’s happy, and Jen says she’s happy. Shannon says she feels conflicted. Emily has a large part in stirring things up. Jen asks, how? and Shannon says, she brings stuff up that’s controversial, and puts people on the spot. We flash back to Emily asking if Shannon is jealous of Gina, and Shannon says she understands that Gina and Emily have a close relationship, but Emily repeats whatever she hears. We flash back to Emily telling Gina that Shannon said Gina should – all together now – put a pin in it. Shannon says, Emily doesn’t have to report back about everything, and in Heather’s interview, she wonders if Emily is a sh*t stirrer or truth teller. You can look at it either way. Shannon says, what’s really bothering her is that she and Emily weren’t close, but they bonded in Cabo, and it’s so frustrating. In Shannon’s interview, she says, she and Emily have come to a good point in their friendship, but it took work. We flash back to the Tamra days when they weren’t so friendly, and Shannon says, there doesn’t need to be drama or posturing, It becomes dinner conversation for people. Heather asks how she’s going to shut it down, and Shannon says, she wants to have a talk with Emily. She reached out to Gina, and when Gina is ready, they’ll talk, but she’s going to talk to Emily
Shannon, Heather, and Jen are having champagne and the best chicken ever, when Emily, Gina, and Noella get back. Heather says, the canaries made it out alive, and Noella tells Shannon about having a breakdown at the creek, in a good way. It was a memorial to her dad. Emily says she wants to take a nap, and Shannon asks if they can talk first. They go outside, and Shannon says, some of the things they talk about get misconstrued and put out there. She doesn’t want any negative stuff in her life. The thought of negativity is exhausting. Emily says she’s confused. If Shannon is in a good place, why does she say negative things about Gina? Shannon says, that’s between her and Gina, but Emily says, she and Gina are close, and it’s her business too. Shannon says she does understand, and Emily says, she knows no one’s perfect, and she’s not a perfect person. Shannon says she doesn’t want her and Gina’s issues to affect her friend friendship with Emily, but Emily says, it doesn’t. She apologizes if Shannon feels she did something hurtful; it wasn’t her intention. Shannon says, same. None of them intend on hurting anyone. In Emily’s interview, she says, it’s not as easy of a friendship as with Gina or Heather. It’s more challenging, but she’s willing to put forth the extra effort to navigate a friendship with Shannon. She thinks it’s worth it. She tells Shannon that she wants to build a friendship, and Shannon says she thinks they have an opportunity to wear the bear suit. In Shannon’s interview, she says, there’s only one person in this group who would put a bear costume on to scare the women, and that’s Emily. She’s brought two of them, and they sneak around getting them ready.
Noella calls mom Nancy from the hot tub outside her room. She tells Nancy about finalizing the divorce details. Where there was so much love and joy, now she’s just putting her name a contract with their life itemized. It’s like another death. In Noella’s interview, she says, it’s a scary journey to be walking, but she’s ready to walk through it, and put James in the past. She tells Nancy that her girlfriends will be jealous. It’s the fastest divorce in California history. Emily goes to her room, where Gina and Heather are hanging out on the bed. Heather says she wants to have fun, so if something comes up, squash it; walk away. Emily says she and Shannon are fine. She apologized, and said she didn’t mean to hurt Shannon. Heather says, see how easy it is? and in Gina’s interview, she says, it seems weird that Shannon understands Emily’s point-of-view, when she seems incapable of understanding Gina’s. She thinks Shannon has something more personal against her. She tells Emily and Heather that she just wants Shannon to acknowledge her feelings, and take accountability. It triggers her, and she doesn’t want to say something she’ll regret. They all say, not tonight
Emily has a huge bruise from archery, and I’m surprised no one got a feather slice through their finger, a typical injury for novices. They find out bluegrass band Oak Range are going to play a private concert for them, and Noella tells the story of the finalization email, and how it went through every bullet point. Gina says, it’s the fastest divorce ever, and in Gina’s interview, she says, she’s pumped for Noella to close this chapter, and most important, she’ll STFU about her divorce. It’s a win-win for everybody. The band plays outside, and Emily and Shannon slip out. In Shannon’s interview, she says, two bears are better than one. Who better to don a bear costume with her than Emily? She hopes there are no bear traps out there. They dress up, and in Emily’s interview, she says, she appreciates Shannon’s effort to add the reality with bear sound effects coming from her bra, but if they want to scare the women, why are they walking out into a highly lit backyard? The costumes look pretty unrealistic, and no one is scared. Shannon says, it was a bust, but Noella says, it was awesome. In her interview, Gina says she’s sure the band is saying WTF? Shannon and Emily dance around in their costumes, and in Noella’s interview, she says, she knows where this is heading. She knows Gina’s behavior. She drinks too much and loses her effing mind. Noella needs to get herself away from it.
They go in for dinner, and Emily asks what everyone’s first jobs were. This goes well until Noella doesn’t remember Gina’s friend Tatiana. Gina says Noella spent a long time with Tatiana and it bothers her that Noella doesn’t remember meeting her. Noella says, it’s not that deep, but Gina says Noella should know more than she knows. Gina gets up, saying, she’s done, and in Emily’s interview, she says, Gina is overreacting, but she knows Gina well enough to know that superficial things that upset her have a deeper root. She asks if Gina wants some cobbler. Shannon tells Noella that she cares, and Noella says she feels bad. She doesn’t feel supported or respected. Shannon gives Noella a hug, and in Shannon’s interview, she says, this is supposed to be the time for Noella to mourn her father’s death, but she doesn’t feel she’s in a safe space to let out her feelings. Noella says, technically, it’s been the best ladies trip so far. Gina can’t believe Shannon is still being supportive of Noella, and Shannon says she’s just trying to get to a calm point. Noella was blindsided by her father’s death. Gina says, sh*t happens, and in her interview, Shannon says, did Gina just say sh*t happens? They’re talking about somebody dying. She doesn’t know what to say. She tells Gina that she’s just trying to be nice, and in Gina’s interview, she says, Shannon is being nice, so three years from now, she can say, remember when everyone was against you and I got them off your back when you were going through a horrible time? Shannon likes to be there when people are down, but when you’re up, she wants to drag you back down. Gina says, no matter how awful it’s been, she’s never acted like that. Noella is getting a very large check. It’s not the worst thing in world, and she doesn’t have any sympathy.
Next time, the season finale, a rock concert, Noella tries to take her rings off, Shane and Emily renew their vows, and Shannon asks Gina, how dare she?
✈️ Oh Babe, I Hate To Go…
Pop in tomorrow for soap and to see what else I can dig up. Until then, stay safe, stay choosing long term goals over short term satisfaction, and stay doing what’s right when it really matters, not what’s easy.
What I Watched - TV With Theresa 