What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

General Hospital

Maxie finds Britt at the pool, and Britt says, finally. Where has she been? Maxie says, at Deception. She got stuck with Home and Heart on the phone. Britt says she thought Maxie had an attack of common sense, and decided to skip this ordeal, and Maxie says, what ordeal? It looks like everyone is having a good time. Britt says, look closer, and Maxie asks, what’s the problem? Britt says she doesn’t know what she’s doing here, and Maxie says, staying open to possibilities? If Britt would just put herself out there, she’d have guys falling all over her. Britt wonders if that’s what she even wants, but Maxie says she won’t know unless she tries. They’ve both been through hell and deserve some good karma. What’s better karma then donating to a worthy cause, while sipping cocktails by the pool? Britt says she’ll give Maxie that one; the cocktails are delicious. Maxie says, Britt just needs to follow her lead. Forget the past, and focus on the future. She’s looking forward, and likes what she sees. Austin comes over and gives Maxie a drink, saying, he’s glad she made it. Maxie asks if Britt is okay, and Britt says, better all the time. Brad is coming with her next drink… Brad spills the drink on her.

Sam says she knows Spinelli doesn’t like Austin for Maxie, and he says, that’s exactly it. She’s the mother of his child; he’ll always be connected to her. They sit, and Spinelli invites Drew to join them. Drew says, Spinelli looks amazing, and it goes without saying, Sam always looks good. Sam says, it’s always nice to hear, and Drew says, it’s the truth. Spinelli says he can’t wait to hear about everything Drew has going on.

Brook says she swears she’s not mad at Chase… Okay, she’s not mad at him anymore. They both got a little heated. He says, they definitely need to clear the air, and they both say, you first. Brook says she’ll go first, and Chase says he’s listening.

Nina tells Scotty, Judge Foster said she didn’t need a lot of time to make a ruling. Is that good or bad? He says he doesn’t know, but he’ll know shortly. Willow asks Diane why they’re not hearing closing arguments, and Diane tells her, it’s a hearing, not a trial. Judge Foster heard all she needs to make a decision. Temp Michael (see below) says, how much damage does she think Scotty did with that rewrite of what happened with Claudia? but Diane says she’s not going to speculate. They’ll just have to wait for the judge to come back. She asks where Carly is, and Michael says, his mother had an errand she needed to do. Willow says, it must be very important. Otherwise, she’d be here. Michael says, who knew the judge would come back with a decision so fast? He’s going to text her. He’s sure she wouldn’t want to miss this.

At the hospital, Carly stares at the envelope with the DNA results. She’s about to open it, when her phone dings. It’s a text from Michael, saying: Judge ready to rule. Come back ASAP.

Ava is wrapping things up at the shooting range, and Valentin walks in. He wonders why he’s not surprised to find her here, and she says, the same reason she’s not surprised to see him here. He says, it’s probably not a bad idea, brushing up on her gun skills, given the company she’s been keeping, and she asks if he has any idea what he’s talking about. He says, that wasn’t her, dining with Victor at the MetroCourt? She says she doesn’t remember seeing him there, and he says he wasn’t there, but he has sources. Apparently, they were getting pretty cozy. Is she thinking of upgrading from Nikolas? She says, Valentin’s father is certainly more charming than he is, when Anna walks in, and tells Ava, she wouldn’t say that. Valentin has his moments.

Spencer lets himself into Windymere, and flashes back on Esme saying, if he leaves, she may not be there when he gets back. He sees her suitcase, and says, no such luck.

Esme and Nikolas kiss, and he steps back, saying, he’s sorry; he shouldn’t have done that. Then they go back to kissing. I can’t say, ew! enough times. It’s not the age thing – I’m okay with that – but… I don’t know what it is. Just ew!

Carly comes back just as the bailiff is saying, all rise. Judge Foster says, it is the opinion of this court that parents have the right to decide who’s in their child’s life, just as they are responsible for anything that affects their child. However, the law in New York state is very clear. It allows a biological grandparent, such as Miss Reeves, to petition to see their grandchild. That law is why they’re here today, and the only reason she allowed this circus to go on as long as it has. The law gives Miss Reeves the right to be heard, regardless of the merits of her case. She’s heard both arguments for and against visitation. The respondent party has proven the petitioner’s presence in Wiley Corinthos’s life would be detrimental. She hereby denies the petition of Miss Reeves to visitation with the minor child. Willow says, thank God, Michael says, we won, and they hug. Nina looks devastated, and Carly looks at the envelope she’s already opened.

Brad tells Britt, he’s so sorry; somebody bumped into him. She says she knows, and he asks her not to use it as an excuse to leave. Britt says, no harm. Just get her another cocktail. Austin says, Britt has great reflexes, and Brad says, she’s like a panther. Maxie says, they’re going to sit down, and let the two singles mingle. Mingle. They leave, and Brad gives Britt his drink, saying, take mine. None of it spilled, and it’s the right price – free. He tells her, there’s a lot of hot guys here, and did he tell her how sexy she looks in that outfit? She tells him, easy. She might think he’s trying to boost her confidence. Terry joins them, and says, hello there. Britt asks if Terry didn’t say she didn’t need a singles mixer, that she was seeing someone, and Terry says, it looks like it’s not going to work out. Britt asks, what happened? Terry said they had great chemistry. Terry says, they did, but he just got a job offer in Chicago. He tried to turn it down, but she told him not to; the opportunity’s just too good. Britt sees a passing waitress with a tray of drinks, and Britt says she’s just going to take this whole tray. The waitress says, no, and they struggle for a moment. Britt says, we need them, and the waitress lets go. The drinks slop over the sides of the glasses a little, and Britt tells her, look what you did.

Valentin says, he’s here as Anna requested. He can’t wait to see what she has planned. Anna says she thinks he’s going to like it, and Ava says she’d warn Anna not to trust him, but something tells her that Anna wouldn’t listen. She leaves (wearing very LOUD shoes), and Valentin asks if Ava said something. Anna asks if he cares, and he says, he does not. He was a little worried she was going to stand him up. She asks if he was afraid she was going to pay him back for all the times he disappeared on her, and he says he has a bad habit of doing that. Sorry to be such a disappointment. Can he take her invitation to join her here as a sign she’s willing to give him a second chance? She says, a second chance? She thinks he’s on about 99 at this point. He says, yet here we are, and she says, here we are. Did he choose his weapon? He asks if he’s going to need to defend himself.

Nikolas and Esme get busy to music with a heavy beat. I don’t think I can watch.

Spinelli says, Sam tells him that Drew is going to be Scout’s swim coach. He knows Drew is a Navy SEAL, but how good of a swimmer is he? Are there going to be other kids there around Scout’s age? He assumes the pool will be heated. Drew says, Scout is in the 7 and 8 group at the country club. He just pitches in when the staff needs some help. He just wants to make it fun. He doesn’t want to make it feel like it’s Olympic training. Dante joins them, and apologizes to Sam for disappearing. She asks if he wants a drink, and Spinelli says, allow him, but Dante says he’s good. He asks if he can talk to Drew for a minute, and Drew says, sure. They leave, and Sam asks Spinelli, what’s going on? Why is he so desperate to get away from her? He says, perish the thought, but she says, stop. He’s dodging her question. What’s going on?

Brook says, she can admit she went too far, asking for Chase’s help in getting Linc. He says, she means when she asked him to entrap Linc, and risk getting thrown off the force for good, and she says, yes, that. It wasn’t a good idea at the time, asking the one on suspension to do something potentially… He says, catastrophic? and she says, not strictly legal. He’s helped her so much in the past, she guesses she got carried away, but he also overreacted. They can agree on that, right? He says, sure, and she says, great; they’re good. He says, she does realize she never said she’s sorry, and she says, I’m sorry. Now can they move on? He tells her that he has one more thing to say about that, and she says, of course (🍷) he does. He says he’s decided he’s going to help her take Linc down after all.

Britt asks Terry, what happened? and tells Brad that he should talk to that really hot waiter over there. He says, where? and makes a beeline toward the bar. Britt asks if Terry is sure it’s not going to work with this guy; she seemed so happy about him. Terry says, she’s disappointed, but it’s okay, and Britt says she’s not buying it. They both know quality men are few and far between. Terry says, she and Chet met by accident, they texted a lot, but they only went on one follow-up date.  They weren’t officially a couple. Britt says, love sucks, and Terry says she’s definitely not talking about love. She and Chet had potential. She’s just sorry she’s not going to see where that leads. Britt says, this is what happens. Life offers you something, then snatches it away.

Maxie tells Austin that she loves what a happy baby Bailey is. It’s kind of incredible, considering the first year of her life was a roller coaster. Here she is again, rambling about her kids. She’s so sorry. He says, don’t be. He loves when she talks about her kids. She kind of lights up, and it looks beautiful on her.

Spencer brings out a sandwich, and says, Esme’s probably in her room, waiting for him to come looking for her. He sits on the couch, and takes out his phone. He eats, and sends a text to Esme: Where are u? He takes another bite, and sends a text to Cameron: Screwed up with Esme. Lost my cool. Preparing to grovel. Any tips?  

Brook says, Chase changed his mind, and wants to help her with Linc? He says he does, and she says, he made her apologize to him. He says, because she needed to, and she says, he’s right; she did. He says, and he accepts her apology. So let’s go get that slimeball.

Drew asks if there’s a problem, and Dante says, that depends. Is Drew backing Michael’s vendetta? Drew asks what he’s talking about, and Dante tells him, Michael said he’s going to dismantle everything Sonny built. Drew says, it’s unlikely Michael is going to start firebombing Sonny’s warehouse, and Dante says, of course (🍷) not. Drew asks what it has to do with him, and Dante says, Michael is going to use ELQ to target Sonny.

Judge Foster says, Scotty’s mischaracterization of Michael bordered on slander. The court is perfectly capable of reading and comprehending a criminal record. Scotty’s distortion wasted the court’s time, tried its patience, and did his client no favors. As far as the court is concerned, this matter is closed. Court is adjourned. She bangs her gavel, and Michael says, it’s over, hugging Diane. Scotty tells Nina, it was a legitimate argument. If she’d just listened. He’s sorry. He gave it his best shot. Diane tells Michael and Willow that she’s happy for them, and Michael hugs Willow. Willow asks Carly, what’s wrong? and Nina walks over to them. She asks Willow and Michael to please reconsider.

At the shooting range, Anna says, a PPK, and Valentin says, it’s a classic. What about her? She says she has her own; it is a classic. She tells him, let’s decide on the rules for our little competition. Whoever gets the cleanest set of kills, wins. He says, what are the stakes? and she says, if he wins, she’ll have dinner with him. He says, and if she wins? and she says she doesn’t know. She’s not sure yet. He says, what if it’s a draw? but she says, it won’t be. He says, she’s using her own weapon. He’s never used this one before. She has an unfair advantage. She asks if he wants time to practice, and he says, that sounds fair. He fires one shot, and says, okay. She says, one shot; that’s it? That’s what he calls practice? He says, he only needs one. She should know that about him. Once he gets a feel for it, he always hits his target.

Nina tells Willow, please don’t cut her out of Wiley’s life completely, and Michael says, Nina was the one who brought this case to court. Her petition was denied; there’s nothing left to say. Nina says she knows that legally she has no right to see Wiley; she’s at their mercy. Willow says, now Nina is asking for mercy, after trying to destroy Michael’s reputation. Nina says, she’ll take anything. Supervised visitation. She can come to their house, and they can both can be there the entire time. Willow asks, why would she ever let Wiley spend time with a women who had her lawyer tell lies about his father on the stand? All Nina proved today was that she’ll do or say anything to get her way. When it doesn’t work out, then Nina starts crying, and says she didn’t mean it, or she was misunderstood. Nina is the one who pushed the issue by taking it to court. There’s no going back now. Michael asks if Willow is okay, and Willow tells Nina, she and Michael are Wiley’s parents, and like the judge said, it’s up to them to decide what’s best for him. And they don’t think Nina can be trusted with him. It’s really that simple. Nina says, they can’t change this; she loves Wiley, and he loves her. Michael says, he doesn’t know any better. That’s why they’re protecting Wiley, from her. Scotty takes Nina’s arm, and says, let’s get out of here, and Diane tells Willow and Michael that Nina should sue Scotty for malpractice. The stunt he pulled by attacking Michael totally alienated her from the judge. Michael says, it’s over, and the judge found in their favor, thanks to Diane. Willow thanks her, and says she didn’t want this hearing, but she’s glad that it’s now legally settled. Diane tells them to thank themselves, Michael for the most part. He held up beautifully under Scotty’s attack. And Willow was nothing short of brilliant on the stand. Willow says, she was fighting for Wiley, to make sure Nina has no chance to hurt their son. We keep seeing Carly, who doesn’t look happy, and maybe a little sad. I’m guessing she didn’t like the test results.

Spencer finishes his sandwich, and wonders why Esme isn’t texting him back. Oh, he gets it. She wants him to beg. That’s not going to happen. He hears someone come in and gets up, but it’s Ava calling for Nikolas. She says, oh, it’s you, and he says, obviously. She asks if he’s seen his father.  

Ewwwwww! Nikolas wraps a blanket around Esme and himself, and she thanks him and says, he’s always been so considerate. He says he can’t believe that happened. Is she all right?

Drew tells Dante, he knew Michael was planning on cutting Sonny out of his life, but he had absolutely no idea Michael would use ELQ resources to take him down. Is Dante sure? Dante tells Drew, Michael said he was going to take Sonny down. He didn’t say he was going to use ELQ to do it, but call it an educated guess. Drew says, he gets Michael’s anger toward Sonny. His dad chose the woman who kept him away from his family for mothers over Michael’s own mother. If it’s a legitimate deal that benefits ELQ, but damages Sonny, he can’t stand in Michael’s way. But that said, he would never do anything to weaken ELQ. Dante says, but does Michael know that?

Austin says, it’s June, so he was hoping to get in some hiking, and was wondering if Maxie would like to come with him sometime. She says, absolutely. As long as it’s not in Pautuck. She’s not ready to go back there yet; she’s sorry. She knows he loves the woods there. He says,  he does, but they’ll find a place in Port Charles. Someplace that’s new to both of them. She says, deal, and he says, great. Britt mocks them, saying, great, great, and drinks some more. Austin asks if there’s a problem, and Britt says, by all means, do their thing. Just explain one thing to her first. What are they even doing at a single’s mixer? Maxie says, this is also a charity fundraiser, and Britt says, oh my God. She’s officially a charity case.

Brook says she’s excited Chase is on board, and he says, not so fast. He has conditions. He’ll keep an eye on Linc, and see if he’s involved in any illegal activities, but he will not set Linc up. She says she would never ask him to do that, but he tells her, it’s what she said. She says, that was before; she’s moving on now. Any help he gives her is appreciated. She was afraid she was going to have to deal with Linc herself. He says, well now she doesn’t have to; not on his watch. She says, he’s the best, and hugs him.

Anna and Valentin finish shooting, and Anna asks how he did. He says he held his own. What about her? She says she doesn’t know. It’s less of a challenge when the target isn’t moving. Unlike him, who is so hard to pin down. He says he meant what he said. He’s ready to stay put for a while. But she’s always liked a moving target. Will it work for her? She says, it depends if there’s anything to stay put for, and he says, there will be, he promises. She asks if they should see who won, but he says he thinks they already know the answer.

Britt sees the same waitress, and says she’s just grabbing this one drink. Maxie and Austin come over, and Maxie asks if Britt doesn’t think she should slow down. Britt says, drinks help her mingle. She’s not here for charity. She sings, I’m here because I’m single, and asks why she’s talking to them. Maxie says she’s still going to be Britt’s friend after this, and they high-five. Austin suggests they leave her to it, but Maxie doesn’t know. Brad says he’ll keep an eye on Britt, and Terry says, they both will. Austin and Maxie leave, and Britt says she’s fine. She tells Terry and Brad, all right wingman and wingwoman. They need to find her someone. She looks around and says, too short… still lives with his parents… had his teeth whitened too many times… Just no; too many freckles.

Drew thanks Dante for the heads up. He knows first-hand how easy it is to let anger consume you, and Michael doesn’t deserve that. Dante agrees, Drew says he’ll talk to Michael, and leaves.

Nina fingers her heart necklace, and Scotty tells her that he’s got to sign some court documents. Does she want him to call Obrecht? She says she doesn’t want to talk to anyone. She can’t believe it’s over. He says, it’s a hard loss, and she says she thought for sure they were going to win. Maybe she just convinced herself of that because she couldn’t bear the thought of losing Wiley forever. He says, maybe Michael and Willow will reconsider, and she says she’s got to go, and jets.

Sam says she’s still waiting, and Spinelli says, okay. He cannot lie to her. Yes, something is going on, but he’s not ready to talk about his new… thing just yet. She says, just promise her that he’s not in danger, and he says, heaven forbid; it’s nothing like that. Can they just leave it at that for now? Britt says, look at that hideous shirt, and Spinelli checks himself before turning to look at her. Britt dances, and Terry tells her to lower her voice. She’s getting loud, and obnoxious. Britt asks if she’s causing a scene, and Brad says, not yet, but she’s well on her way. Britt makes a face, and says, that won’t do. She moves to the front of the room and tries to clink on her glass with a celery stick.

Chase says, he and Brook have been talking around something, and he doesn’t want to ignore it anymore. She says, her neither, and Britt whistles with two fingers. She says, listen up. This is going to blow your minds. Get ready. She drains her drink.

Spencer tells Ava that he has no idea where his father is, but there’s this hot new invention. It’s called texting. She should try it sometime. She says, he’s not responding to her texts, and Spencer says, he wouldn’t either if he saw her name. She says, never mind; she’ll find him herself. Spencer says, they need to talk, and she says, the just tried that; it didn’t work very well. He says, he and Esme are moving out, and she says, good. She saw Esme’s suitcase in the foyer. He says, the deal was, if they move out, he gets access to his trust fund, but she says, their deal is that she gives him a weekly allowance. Is there something else? He says, they’re not moving in with his grandmother and Doc, and she says she’s sure Laura will be happy to hear that. He says, they’re going to stay in five-star hotels for a while, and she says, so that’s what he’s going to do with his money. She doesn’t think it’s very wise, but you do you. He says he’s going to need his first payout, but she says, not going to happen. He says, they have a deal, and she says, they’re still here. He doesn’t get any money until he and his girlfriend are really, truly, totally and completely out. Not until they have a new place. He says, she doesn’t trust him? and she says, God no. And she trusts Esme even less.

Esme says, she can’t believe they did that, and Nikolas says, he’s so sorry. He never expected this to happen. Is she okay? She says she’s great. If she’s being totally honest, she’s been fighting these feelings for a while. Has he been struggling too? He says, he’s sorry. He feels like he took advantage of her. She says, he didn’t. If anything, he saved her. She’s been so lonely and sad. Spencer’s been so cold to her, and he’s been so kind and caring. It’s nice to feel close to someone again; to feel safe in his strong arms. <gag> She says she’s sorry Spence isn’t the man she thought he was, and she’s sorry Nikolas’s marriage is over, but she’s nothing but glad that they found each other. He says, what they did was wrong. Spencer is his son. She says, she and Spence are finished. To be clear, it was Spence’s choice, not hers. Going forward, Spence has no say in what she does. Nikolas says, Spencer will never forgive him for this, but she says, Spence never has to know. Ugh. She says, for both their sakes, Spencer should never find out, and he asks if that’s what she wants. She says, even though Spence has made it perfectly clear he doesn’t give a damn what she does, the last thing she wants to do is cause trouble for him. She just couldn’t resist Nikolas; he’s been so good to her. She kisses him, and I can’t unsee this.

Michael says, now that it’s over, how is Willow feeling? She says, it’s been draining; Nina put them through so much. But now that it’s over, she’s pretty sure she’ll sleep well tonight. Michael thanks Diane for everything. He doesn’t know how she does it; nothing seems to rattle her. She says, that’s not entirely true, but thanks him for the compliment. It’s her job not to lose her cool, and Nina gave her so much to work with. Now they have a legal ruling. If Nina comes anywhere near Wiley, they can have her arrested. Willow says, let’s hope it doesn’t come to that, but it’s good they have that protection. Diane says she loves it when the good guys win. Enjoy their victory. On her way out, Carly thanks her, and Diane says, it’s her pleasure. Carly gets bonus points for holding it together when Sonny testified. Carly  says, anything for Wiley, and Diane says, of course (🍷) Carly would feel that way, but she has some idea of what it cost her. Well done. Diane leaves, and Michael says he’s glad Carly could make it back in time for the verdict. Now, they celebrate. Carly says she definitely agrees justice was served. She asks Willow, any second thoughts? and Willow says, no. Why would she? Carly says she knows Willow struggled the most in denying Nina contact with Wiley, but Willow says, not anymore. She sees Nina very clearly now, and she’s thrilled they have protection legally. They never have to see that awful woman again. Carly fingers the envelope, and Michael asks, what’s that?  

Britt says, what are they doing here? Supporting a charity? She doesn’t think so. Terry tells Brad, do something, and he starts filming. Britt says, they’re shelling out their hard earned money on a search for love. They’re all suckers. Save their money, and get a pet. Spinelli says, everyone wants to find their special someone, and Britt says, once you care, they leave you. Spinelli says, you just have to find the right one, and Britt says, oh yeah, the mythical right one. The one who will complete your life. The one who will stand by you to hell and back. The one who will trust you more than you trust yourself. You’ll always have Paris, right? Wrong. Haven’t they seen how the movie ends? She flies off with the other guy. Because it’s just a sappy movie. There is no right one. They hear a plane overhead, and Dante asks, what’s going on right now? Spinelli tells Britt, have faith. Her time will come. The plane gets louder, and people are starting to look up. Britt says, Port Charles is the anti-Cupid. No, actually it’s not; it’s a place, not a person. Cupid’s not a person either; he’s just a chubby baby thing. Terry says she’s made her point; come eat. Britt says, no. These people have to understand. Maxie comes in, and says, oh my God, and Britt says, there is no love in Port Charles. All the good ones are taken or dead. You might as well wait for someone to fall out of the sky. The plane is really loud now, and Dante tells Britt, look out below. Something falls on her and pulls her into the pool.

As their targets come forward, Valentin counts Anna’s shots. He asks if she fired one less round than him, or did she miss her target entirely? That’s not like her. She points out the middle of the forehead, where she fired twice in the exact same place. He says, she won the competition. Is she going to give him a second chance to have dinner with her? She says, she’ll do him one better, and he says he’s listening. She says, she decided for her prize, they get to spend the evening together. He says, doing what? and she says, he’ll figure it out. Pick her up at 7. She leaves, and Valentin gets a call from Victor.

Spencer picks something up from the floor, and tells Ava, it’s Esme’s jacket. He calls out to Esme, and inside the room, Nikolas and Esme break apart. Nikolas says, Spencer. In the hallway, Ava shrugs, and Spencer reaches for the doorknob.

Nina goes to Nelle’s grave, and drops to her knees. She says she lost the right to see Nelle’s son. What is she going to do, now that she’s lost Nelle and Wiley?

Drew walks into the courtroom, and Michael asks Carly if it’s bad news. Carly remembers saying, sorry, Michael, and opening the envelope. She sees it’s 99.9999+ probability that Patient A is Patient B’s mother. She says, if this is true, Nina is Willow’s mother. Michael says, mom? and Drew watches.

Britt is under a parachute in the pool, and scrambles out. She asks, what the hell just happened? The parachutist pops up and says, now that’s interesting. Hello, Port Charles!

Tomorrow, Chase tells Brook, happily ever after is hard to come by; Cameron says it was perfect, and asks where Spencer went wrong; and Phyllis asks Sonny, if he could do it over, would he make a different choice?

🎡 Revolving Michaels…

Boy did this startle me. I was like, you’re not Michael.

Michael Recast Temporarily on GENERAL HOSPITAL

The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills

Still in La Quinta, Kyle makes a million eggs for breakfast, and calls caterer Miguel for bloody Marys and mimosas. She tells him, it’s a 9-1-1 situation. Dorit says she didn’t sleep, and in her interview, she says, there’s a lot going on in her head. All she wants is to be able to put this behind her, and feel like herself pre home invasion. LisaR suggests Dorit talk to her mom, and we flash back to when we found out Lois had been attacked by a man she worked with, who turned out to be a serial killer. In LisaR’s interview, she says, it’s on the same level of violation, and Lois lived through it to have a beautiful life after a life altering trauma. She’s a survivor and so is Dorit. Garcelle asks if Kyle talked to Sutton, and Kyle says, Sutton is having breakfast with Crystal and Diana. Garcelle says, Crystal texted her last night that she wanted to go home. Kyle thinks there has to be more to it, and Garcelle wonders what the trigger was. Kyle says, maybe Crystal felt they cared more about Dorit than they had about her last year, even though it’s apples and oranges.  She says, they’re like detectives, even though that’s not what I’d call it. Kyle goes to the front door, where the drinks have been left, and brings them in; to-go cups in a coffee holder. Very festive. Garcelle calls Crystal, and asks how she is. She says, great, but she’s being facetious. Garcelle asks if Crystal wants to talk; everybody is worried about her. They don’t know what triggered her. It’s that she didn’t feel validated, right? Garcelle moves to another room to talk, and the rest of the women strain to listen. Garcelle tells Crystal, they didn’t realize she was holding onto stuff from last year, and suggests Crystal come by and clear the air. Then they can go home feeling she’s okay. In Garcelle’s interview, she says she doesn’t want another year to go by where they don’t talk about something. She tells Crystal, ten minutes, and Crystal says, okay. Garcelle convinced her to come. Garcelle hopes the talk goes better than it did at Sutton’s party.

Kyle says she can’t believe it was a year ago when they were here, and Erika says, her life was a shamble. She hates the living room sofa. Kyle says, Erika is like night and day, and Erika says she’s so glad she’s moved past it. She thanks them for accepting her for the wild animal she was, and we flash back to that, although frankly, I’m not so sure anything is different. Erika says she felt backed into a corner every day, and in her interview, she says, it consumes every part of life, then you get over the bridge. She’s far from done, but she can catch her breath. She says she was dragged through the mud for something she didn’t do, and Garcelle says, she didn’t show compassion. Erika says, you can’t when you’re in a legal situation like that; every word counts. They’re not even sure people weren’t paid. Dorit asks if she means there’s a chance the victims are lying, and Garcelle says, no way. Erika says, way, and in Garcelle’s interview, she wonders why there would be lawsuits if there was no merit. In Erika’s interview, she says, people want it to be true. They don’t care about the truth; they just want her to fail. It’s not going to happen. She tells the women, she can’t admit to something she doesn’t know happened. The best way she can serve the rightfully wronged is to comply with the justice system.

Crystal arrives, and Garcelle says she’s tipsy. Erika says she’s lit, and Crystal tells them that Sutton and Diana are headed back to L.A. At the hotel, Diana goes to Sutton’s room, and Sutton asks if she wants to eat, since there’s an entire buffet in the room. Sutton says she hasn’t eaten meat in a long time, but there’s something about bacon she can’t resist. In Diana’s interview, she says, a bacon eating vegetarian isn’t a thing. I like Diana, but Sutton didn’t say she was vegetarian. Diana wonders, what happened last night? and Sutton says, why Crystal was crying? It came from nowhere. Diana says, everyone has different triggers. Hers is when someone makes fun of her accent. It brings her back to people laughing at her. Sutton says, it’s low, and Diana says, and saying stupid stuff about her country. She tells them to find it on a map. She’s a Leo, and relishes confrontation. Sutton says she doesn’t mind confrontation, but doesn’t like screaming. Diana says, she used to be aggressive because she was scared. In her interview, she says, she grew up in the Sarajevo ghetto, and she was angry with the world, explosive. Now she just doesn’t give second chances. Sutton tells her that she’ll have to give these women more than one chance. Maybe several. Diana wonders, how many?

LisaR asks Crystal to talk about how she’s feeling, and Crystal says she feels like this is some weird therapy. She wants to be clear that she wants to get through this conversation, and doesn’t want to talk about it again. Garcelle asks, what triggered her? and Crystal says she doesn’t actually… like being emotional… Dorit tells her to take her time, and Crystal says, what was upsetting was, when she was struggling with Sutton, they were telling her how to feel. It was like a massive campaign to negate how she was feeling. We flash back to the whole violation thing, which we will never, ever be allowed to forget, and Crystal says, it isn’t easy to pour her heart out. Then she was told she used too strong a word, and the focus shifted to something that wasn’t the focus. Garcelle asks if she means it’s not safe for her emotionally,  and Kyle says, she told them it wasn’t a safe space. In Dorit’s interview, she says, it’s not a safe space just because a group of adult women don’t agree with her? This is a vacation compared to what she went through. Dog Bambi feasts on the cheese board, and we flash back to her eating charcuterie one day ago, or one week in dog years. Kyle says she’s a fixer, but Garcelle says, she’s a stirrer. In Garcelle’s interview, she says, this is Kyle’s idea of fixing, and mimes stirring a pot. Kyle tells Crystal not to wait a year holding in something that bothers her. Garcelle says, if she’s 100% honest, she’s been holding onto something she knows may be explosive. She feels that when Crystal and Sutton had their thing, no matter what Sutton said – she could have said, the sky is blue – Crystal was going to say, are you that girl? It felt like a set-up. Crystal says, now that Garcelle knows her, does she still think that? but Garcelle says she doesn’t know. In Crystal’s interview, she says, Garcelle blindsided her. After knowing her, does Garcelle really think that’s something she’d do? It’s out of her character. Crystal tells them, there was a lot more said prior to that, and it was very dark. Erika says she wishes they’d known that, and in LisaR’s interview, she wonders why Crystal didn’t just say that at the time. She’d be pissed if she was Sutton. Crystal says, Kyle was there, but Kyle says, she doesn’t remember Sutton saying anything dark. So Crystal makes a CYA move, and says, Kyle was drunk. She’s not going there. Garcelle steps away to talk to her son Oliver on the phone, and Erika asks what was said, but Crystal isn’t spilling. In Erika’s interview, she says, when you’re not specific, you allow the person you just told to fill in the blanks with the worst possible sh*t. Garcelle comes back, and announces that Oliver got a great job working with LVP. Kyle says, on that note, let’s go home, and Erika says, to Los Angeles, where they belong. It sounds like the last line in a corny movie.

Dorit tries to persuade PK to replace some of his Diet Cokes with water, and finds it stressful trying to get him to change his lifestyle. He asks how she is, and she says she’s holding it together, but something changed inside. Her reactions aren’t the way they used to be. In Dorit’s interview, she says, in her new normal, her day is filled with palpitating anxiety and navigating triggers. The kids come into her room every night, and when she hears the sound of the bedroom door, she can’t catch her breath. She tells PK that she doesn’t know how she’ll feel at any moment, and wants to process this. He suggests she take a few days off, and bring her friends to Punta Mita. She asks, what if she feels anxious, and he says, then she can come home. She says she feels like that would feel nice. He says, he’ll watch the shows they watch together, and then just watch them again when she gets back, but she gives him a hard no. He says he’s got to watch some shows, but she says, everything they watch together, he can’t watch. She suggests he watch things she wouldn’t like.  

Sutton gets ready for her store event with Alexis Mabille. In her interview, she says, he’s the Paris darling of couture, and finally got in the country. We flash back to Sutton whining about the hold-up to Kyle, and Sutton says she’s having a Parisian party. How fun to have couture come to L.A. She tells us, when you do a party like this, there’s a big list of things to do. There’s the guest list, the food, and bar. We see clips of Sutton overseeing those aspects, and she says, and for this one, they needed mannequins. She gets very nervous. She tells the staff, they’ve got to watch the clothes; don’t mess them up.

Diana’s glam squad makes their magic, and her stylist Lia asks if Diana has been to Sutton’s store. Diana reminds Lia that she’s allergic to stores; she thinks it’s the chemicals. In Diana’s interview, she says, designers know her style, taste, and size. They put things aside for her, and send them over. Dorit tells PK that she spoke to LisaR. Kyle got a message saying, Lois had a stroke, so LisaR was going to Medford. She didn’t have any more information, but asked them to keep Lois in their prayers.

Kyle tells Dorit that LisaR had a serious conversation with the doctor. It’s all about making Lois comfortable now. We see a clip of LisaR saying that Lois is going into hospice, and has a strong directive not to resuscitate her or put her on a feeding tube. Kyle says, her mother knew what was going on, but had them bring her home. She didn’t want to die in a hospice. Dorit asks if they also brought in a nurse, but Kyle says, no. She and Kim did everything. It wasn’t easy. She remembers them trying to bathe her mother, and almost dropping her. She couldn’t communicate, but they were all laughing. In Kyle’s interview, she says, LisaR is where she needs to be. Hard as it was, Kyle wouldn’t have missed being there for her mom’s last breath. She checks her phone, and tells Dorit, a paparazzi was taking photos over her fence. Dorit says, that’s triggering, and Kyle says she’s sorry. It was just the paparazzi. Dorit says, it makes her thinks someone is casing Kyle’s house.  

On her red carpet, Sutton says has Alexis’s spring/summer 2022 collection on display, and to celebrate they’re doing a Paris night. Garcelle asks Sutton if all the girls are coming, and Alexis asks who she’s really asking about, but Garcelle insists she’s just asking. At Erika’s place, she tells Mikey that she’s finally figured out the thermostat after a year. She tells him that Sutton is having a designer come in for a store event, but she’s not going. It was a group invitation, and when everyone was apologizing and kissing asses, she’d asked where her apology was, but Sutton said she didn’t get one, since she didn’t like Erika. We flash back to that, and in Erika’s interview, she says she has a date with a vibrator; she can’t make it. She tells Mikey that she’s glad she doesn’t have to dress up, put on a face, and pretend to be nice.

At the store, Crystal says she’s worn leather in honor of Sutton, and we flash back to the ugly leather pants incident. Dorit and Kyle get out of the limo, and Dorit wonders why the press is here. In Dorit’s interview, she says, she can’t talk about what she went through, except close friends and family. How can a friend not give her a heads up? Is Sutton that self-absorbed? I admit to being a Sutton fan, but I also call a spade a spade. I’m totally empathetic to what Dorit is going through, but she’s really expecting too much. This is the second time she believed someone should have been thinking about her situation when it’s understandable why they wouldn’t be. Kyle talks to a reporter on the carpet, saying, Dorit is unbelievably strong, but the aftermath wasn’t so easy. Kyle asks Sutton if this is the infamous border guy. There are lots of air kisses, drinking, and checking out clothes. Kyle asks if everything is okay with Sutton and Crystal, and Crystal says, it was an awkward conversation at Kyle’s house. Kyle says, Crystal didn’t tell them what Sutton said that was so dark, and in Kyle’s interview she says, either Crystal is confused or she is. Her money is on Crystal. Sutton tells Dorit, she doesn’t know why they’re going backward. She doesn’t want to relive or rehash it. They’ve grown out of it, and grown better. Let the tree stand tall, not cut it down. In Sutton’s interview, she says she’s staying calm because she didn’t say anything she’s ashamed of or that was dark. Garcelle tells Sutton, what Crystal alluded to was that it was something that would change the dynamic between them; like she’d said something crazy. Watch your back with your new friend.

In Garcelle’s interview, she says, friendship is about trust. One minute, she felt like Crystal was in Sutton’s corner, then she threw Sutton under the bus. Sutton says, she doesn’t want go backward; let’s move forward, and work together; that’s sisterhood. In Kyle’s interview, she says she’s confused. A year ago, Sutton was sensitive and emotional about everything. We flash back to that, and Sutton says, she wants all of them to be positive. In her interview, Kyle says, she doesn’t know if Sutton took happy pills, but there’s nothing there; zero emotion. Sutton says, stop talking about her behind her back, and Diana takes off her shoes, saying, she hasn’t worn heels in two years. Kyle sits with Garcelle, and says, obviously, Sutton doesn’t want to go back. Sutton and Crystal pose for pictures on the carpet, and Kyle says, Crystal is leaving it open for guessing. When you let people assume, they assume the worst. Crystal asks, what’s going on? and Kyle says, they were talking about the conversation they had earlier. Garcelle had feelings, and instead of defending herself, Crystal brought up Sutton. Kyle was there, and Sutton didn’t say anything horrific. Crystal says, maybe she doesn’t remember because it doesn’t affect her, and Garcelle says, they’re thinking the worst. In her interview, Garcelle says, again it’s Crystal’s word choice. Dark is a dangerous word. It sounds like something that would affect their friendship when it came to race. Crystal says she doesn’t want to focus on the word. Sutton said something problematic, but forgivable. Garcelle says, why bring it up then? and Crystal says, the question they asked was damaging. In Crystal’s interview, she says, Garcelle was accusing her of setting Sutton up; it’s a massive accusation. If she was accused of murder, just saying, I didn’t do it, wouldn’t suffice. It was all she had. Sutton sits with them, and Kyle says, the conversation involves Sutton; she should be here. Sutton says, normally she’s not around for that, and Garcelle says, she told Crystal that she felt like she set Sutton up when she’d asked, are you that girl? Crystal said, it wasn’t prefaced that way; Sutton had said something dark. Sutton says she’s apologized, learned, and changed a lot. She doesn’t know what was said, but she can’t take it unless they can go forward. Kyle says, sounds nice on paper, and Garcelle says, it got them thinking whatever it was, was worse than it was. In Kyle’s interview, she says, Sutton probably is afraid she said something she doesn’t remember, so she wants it dropped. She was there, and that’s not what happened. By now, everyone has gravitated to this conversation, and Diana says, in defending herself, Crystal opened a can of worms. She can defend herself without saying something she’s not prepared to say. In Dorit’s interview, she says, Crystal knows what she’s doing. She’s creating the worst case, and adding insult to injury, she refuses to say what it is. She’s playing dirty. Sutton says, the worms are dead, and Diana says, this is hard to follow. Crystal says, she had to answer a question and defend herself, and Garcelle asks why she used the word dark. In Crystal’s interview, she asks how dark is a strong word? Don’t tell her what words to use. Garcelle says, Crystal planted the seed, and they’re left in the rubble. Crystal says she didn’t want to bring it up because it’s been resolved. In her interview, Garcelle says, it’s not resolved at all, and Crystal says, they questioned her integrity. and that’s where it’s going to stop.

Dorit tells PK that she’s going to an EMDR session, and he says, it’s going to help. She says, there’s something different inside her, and PK says, George made a valid point. The thieves took their belongings,  and invaded and violated their home. Don’t let them take your life. In Dorit’s interview, she says, they took so much more than material things; her ability to feel safe and whole. Knowing PK is supportive, strong, and capable means a lot. PK clears out, and therapist Val arrives. In her interview, Dorit says, this type of therapy is good for trauma victims. It reprograms the brain to think of the traumatic moment and associate it with peace and joy. Dorit tells Val about going to Sutton’s event, and Val says, Dorit’s home has been her cocoon. When she’s outside, she feels activated, and it’s a normal response. She gives Dorit some cord things to hold, and says, they vibrate, and it causes left/right brain activity like when we’re sleeping. When trauma happens, early on, we separate it into frames. She wants Dorit to think of the frame where there’s a gun to her head, and she’s thinking, it’s not safe. Where is she feeling it? Dorit says, in her chest, and Val says, allow her mind to go where it usually does, and Dorit says, she’s thinking about the kids. Val says, go with it, and Dorit starts to cry. Val tells her, let whatever comes up, come up, and Dorit says, God forbid anything happens to them. She can’t shake feeling scared, worried, afraid, and sad. Val says, Dorit knows she’s safe, here and now, and in Dorit’s interview, she says, when she closes her eyes, she sees the headline: Mother found dead in bedroom; kids shot dead in their bed. It’s a thought that’s going to haunt her for the rest of her life. Val tells her, take a breath. Dorit says, it feels like she’s far from where she needs to be. Like she has a lot of work to do.

Next time, Kyle accuses Crystal of throwing Sutton under the bus; Garcelle questions Sutton about what she said; Dorit plans a girls trip to Mexico; and LisaR says, Crystal is dangling a dangerous carrot.

👠 Lady Diana…

All about the latest RHOBH addition.

https://www.womenshealthmag.com/life/a39664138/diana-jenkins-rhobh/

💰 The Real Housewives of Dubai is definitely worth a watch. Lots of bling, and an interesting cast, including Caroline Stanbury (Ladies of London), the only blonde in the bunch. Once again, Caroline’s very cute little dog proved that pets are the great leveler by peeing on her bed. It did end up with some screaming (not Caroline), which was a little disappointing, since it’s only the first episode. Model Chanel Ayan was the instigator, and it looks like there will be more to come from that one.

https://www.bravotv.com/the-daily-dish/real-housewives-of-dubai-season-1-taglines-revealed

https://people.com/tv/real-housewives-of-dubai-series-premiere-recap/

🏖 Unofficial Start Of Summer…

Stop by tomorrow for soap and tea. Until then, stay safe, stay letting your Pride flag fly, and stay knowing, when you let people assume, they assume the worst.