What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

General Hospital

Chase sits in front of the TV, shirtless, eating a bowl of kids’ cereal. His phone rings, and Brook asks where he is. They were supposed to meet at the pool. He says, he’s watching the game… Shot put violation. Dammit! She asks what he’s eating, and he says, cereal. She says, so he’s watching the game and eating cereal when he could be hanging out at the pool with her? He says, yep… No, he means he’ll be there soon. She says, when? and he says, soon. He looks at the TV, and says, come on!

Sonny asks what Nina is doing, and she says she was just headed home. He asks if she can reconsider that and stay with him. Please? She says she really shouldn’t, but he says he’ll make it worth her while. He takes her hand, and they go to a table.

Dante comes back to his table, and Sam says, so, Sonny and Nina? He says he’s going to make like they’re not here, and she calls him a chicken. He says, totally, but he’s here with her and doesn’t want family drama ruining his night. She says, good. That gives him more time to fill her in on what kind of trouble he and Cody got in back in the day.

Cody watches as Zelda goes into a hotel room. Spinelli comes out with a room service tray, and Cody ducks back. Spinelli takes a bite of something, dashes back in the room, and puts the do not disturb sign on the door handle. Cody comes out, and says, this is getting interesting.

As he’s going into The Savoy, Curtis gets a text from Selina: Making some last minute arrangements for tonight. TJ joins him, and Curtis asks what he’s doing here. TJ says he went by Curtis’s house to see Marshall, and found out Curtis was coming in early, so he thought he’d stop by. Curtis says he knows he owes TJ a conversation… but TJ says, Marshall explained everything. He came here to see about Curtis.

The kids sit around the campfire, and Finn asks Gregory, what’s the verdict? Did he overstep asking Gregory to speak to Cam? Gregory says, not at all. He thinks Cameron appreciated it. Finn says, the kid has some weight on his shoulders right now, but Gregory says he thinks Cameron is strong enough to carry it. If he isn’t, he has Finn to help. Finn says he doesn’t think Cameron wants his help, but Gregory says, give him time. His bet is, Cameron will come around.

Wyatt hands Aiden the guitar, and Cameron says, Aiden is holding it wrong. Does he want Cameron to show him? Aiden says he wants to learn himself. Back off.

Trina and Josslyn go into The Highsider, which looks like a biker bar, but a really, really nice biker bar. Trina says they should have stopped and gotten a fake tattoo before they got here, and Josslyn says, not really her vibe. Trina says, never mind the aesthetics. They need to blend in so they can get some answers. Josslyn says, this place is pretty close to Spring Ridge, which is where Esme interns, and very convenient to pick up an untraceable phone. Trina says, so what now? She doubts there’s a counter that sells black market cell phones, or a guy that says, hi, can I help you? Josslyn says, Trina is hilarious when she’s out of place. They just need to stay calm, and the main goal, they just need to strike up a conversation with the clientele. A guy comes over and asks if they’re lost or something.

Maxie says, if these sticks are more to Austin’s satisfaction, have at them. She, for one, is more invested in the chocolate. He says he loves chocolate, but she should know, he’s a marshmallow man, and a gooey marshmallow is what defines a s’more. They hear something in the woods, and Maxie says, what was that?

Chase gets to the pool, and Brook says, finally. His pina colada is melting. He says, sorry; it was a great game. The lead changed nine times in the last two minutes, and the 3.5 favorite lost on a buzzer beater. She says, nice, and he says, nice? She says, it’s heartbreaking for the 3 point favorite. Is Chase going to swim tonight? It’s perfect weather. He says he’s just going to sip on this pina colada. He picks up his drink, and says he’s really glad she asked him to hang out tonight. He knows she’s been focused on taking down Linc, but they need a break, a night to just chill. Brook says, uh-huh, and looks at the doorway where Linc is talking to Selina. Chase says he guesses that was just too much to ask for.

Curtis says he appreciates TJ giving him and Marshall space to talk to Aunt Stella. He’s sure TJ has his own questions, but it really meant a lot. TJ says, Curtis needed answers. Now that he has them, how is he feeling? Curtis says he’s not going to lie; confused. It’s a lot to process. TJ says, for him as well. Even though he’s a medical professional, he felt a pit in his stomach when he saw Marshall’s medication. And when he said that his diagnosis was schizophrenia, he had an immediate visceral reaction. Curtis says, that’s understandable. Medical strides have come a long way, but it is a complicated diagnosis. He wonders how Marshall felt, hearing that 40 years ago, and TJ says, he must have been terrified. Not only from the stigma, but what could happen to him. Curtis says, which is why he chose to leave and stayed gone for so long, and TJ says, at least Curtis knows it wasn’t out of neglect. It was out of love for him and TJ’s father. Marshall wanted to protect them, even from himself, if it came to that.

Nina says, cheers, but Sonny says, it’s bad luck to toast with water. Nina is out of luck in the drinking buddy department tonight. She says she’s heard about that, but what if the water is as sparkly as his eyes? He laughs, and she says, besides, she’s had all the bad luck a person is allotted in one lifetime… and she’s to blame for most of it. He says he doesn’t want to tempt fate, but he thinks her luck is going to turn around. She says, do tell, and he says, because the hearing is over. No more secrets and betrayal; no more waiting for the other shoe to drop. The divorce is over, and he thinks it’s time they stopped denying there’s something between them. Is there?

Maxie says, Austin heard that, right? and he says he did. It’s probably nothing; nature’s noisy. She says he’s right. She needs to stop watching slasher movies before she goes to sleep. He says, that can’t help; does it help? They hear twigs break, and Maxie says, that was definitely something. He says, it’s probably just a fox, but she says, that doesn’t make her feel any better, and he says, stay here for a second while he checks it out. She grabs his arm and says, he’s not leaving her. He says, okay, let’s go to the camp, and she takes his arm. He says, skunk? Maybe it’s a skunk. She says, it’s definitely time to go, and they turn around. They’re startled to find Gregory with Violet there, and Violet says, boo!

Cameron tells Aiden, relax. He was just trying to help. Aiden says, he just wants to figure this out on his own, and Cameron says, okay. Jake says, relax. Cam crushes on the guitar. He’ll have Aiden playing in no time. Aiden says, Cam won’t always be around; he’s in college. And Jake will be in college soon too. And if mom doesn’t come back… He just needs to learn stuff by himself. Okay? Jake says, he doesn’t need to get upset. Cam was just trying to help. Finn gets Wyatt’s attention, and Wyatt steps away with him. Wyatt says, do you need me, Dr. Finn? and Finn says he needs a favor; two actually. Wyatt says, of course (🍷). How can he be of assistance? Finn asks Wyatt to call him Finn. He appreciates Wyatt acknowledging the whole doctor thing, but all his friends call him Finn, and he’d like to think of Wyatt as one of them. Wyatt says he’d like to think so too, and Finn says, so no more doctor. Wyatt says, no more doctor. What’s the other favor? Finn says, Aiden is going through a pretty tough time right now. He was wondering if Wyatt could include him in whatever he’s doing. It’s probably not enough time for him to learn guitar before the singalong tonight, but if Wyatt could include him in some other way, Finn would like him to participate. Wyatt says he thinks he knows of a way. Leave it to me, Doc… Finn.

Trina tells the bar guy, they’re not lost; they’re just from out of town. Josslyn says, they heard about this place, and thought they’d come check it out. Trina says, it’s a definite vibe, and the guy says, they’re a little older than the usual clientele. Josslyn says, sometimes they like to hang around people who are different than their friends, but he says, that’s not what he meant. They got ID? Josslyn says, yes, and they fish ID’s out of their bags. He looks at them, and says, okay, Jane and Kara. He hates to break it to them, but these are totally bogus.

Wyatt asks if Aiden can help him with something, and Aiden says, sure. Wyatt says he’s thinking of switching the song for the campfire singalong. Can he play some possibilities, and Aiden can help him pick the best one? Aiden says, sure.

Cameron tells Finn, it seems that Wyatt found a way to make Aiden feel better, and Finn says, good. He’s glad everything worked out. Cameron says, it’s almost as if someone knew, to make Aiden feel better, he needed to be in control of the situation, especially with everything in his life spinning out of control. Finn says he guesses the important thing is, Aiden is coming to terms with his emotions, right? It doesn’t matter how it happens. Cameron says, actually, it does.

Trina says her license isn’t bogus, and neither is Kara’s. They would never do something like that. The guy says, really? If they’re both 23, tell him about dimpled chads. Trina says, they’re really cute guys, and Josslyn says, boy band. He says, not even close. Beat it. He hands back the IDs, and says, next time, invest in better fakes. Trina says, that’s actually why they came. They heard there’s somebody who can get things like that; phony IDs, unregistered phones. Josslyn says, they can pay in cash, and he looks at the bartender and says, that’s the guy they’re looking for, but make it quick. He leaves, and Josslyn says, Trina sure got over her jitters quickly. Trina says she wasn’t about to let their last hope go down the drain. They say desperation gives you strength.

Zelda tells Spinelli, she’s done dealing with that parachuting charlatan. That was not part of their agreement, but don’t worry. Cody listens outside the door, and she says she handled Dr. Westbourne. No lawsuit; no chance of exposing what’s really going on here.

Sam says, so summer camp? and Dante says, he was twelve. His buddy Tommy Fazio had just gotten busted for shoplifting, and his mother was convinced he was going to be next. Sam says, and off he went, and he says he wasn’t thrilled about nature, but then it dawned on him that he’d be away from his mother, and the 200 other relatives who lived near them, and whose sole purpose in life was to guide him and supervise him. She says, she’s assuming nature was the downside, and he says, nature to him was the church parking lot, and playing stickball. He wasn’t opposed to nature, but it wasn’t his first choice. Sam says, on the upside, no supervision, and he says, limited supervision. There were counselors, but at least he was related to any of them. She says, and then he met Cody, and he says, yeah. Most of the kids there were like him, city kids. Cody was a country kid. He was different; he was comfortable out there. He saw Cody, and thought he should take some pointers from that kid. She says, Cody seems to want to remind him of the trouble they got in back in the day, and Dante says, he does. They had some good times.

TJ says he’s surprised Curtis came to work tonight. Isn’t the owner entitled to take a night off now and then? He tells TJ, sure, when Selina arrives, and he says, but he has something going on tonight.

Chase says, something tells him tonight wasn’t just about hanging out. Did Brook know Linc would be here? She says, so? She saw Linc checking in, in the lobby earlier. Don’t jump to conclusions. She knew Linc was up to something, and she was right. Chase tells her not to jump to conclusions, and she asks if he saw Linc talking to Selina Wu. Fishy, right? He says, Selina Wu has never been convicted of anything. In the eyes of the law, Linc isn’t committing a crime by associating with her. Brook says, don’t give her the whole eyes of the law thing. Isn’t his detective’s intuition tingling? He says, his detective’s intuition tells him that she’s trying to make up excuses to go after Linc. She says she doesn’t need an excuse; he’s holding her songs hostage. He tells her, he said he’d help her get her songs back, but she has to let him take the lead. They have to do it the right way. She says, he just doesn’t get it. Music to most people is something they listen to when they’re bored, but to her, it’s home… grounding… purpose… it’s her life. Ever since her mom took her to Tower Records on West 4^th Street and Broadway to get a Jets cassette. He says he doesn’t know that band, and she says they’ll go over his deprived childhood another time. Ever since she knew she could sing, it was the only thing she wanted to do. Now she can’t sing, but thanks to him, she can participate in that part of her life through her song writing. It’s the only thing she has left in that area of her life… Oh hell. Linc’s coming over here. Linc strolls over, and asks how his favorite personal ATM is doing this fine… She asks why he’s back, and he says he’s just relaxing in Port Charles, in between taking meetings about her catalog. It’s amazing how much more valuable those songs are without her attached to them. Chase gets up, and tells Linc, it’s time to take a walk. Linc puts up his hands, and says, he’s just living life; enjoying the night. Brook knows he’d never do anything to upset her. He only wanted her to know how profitable her songs are; profitable for him anyway. He intends to continue tapping that. He leaves, and Chase puts on his shirt. Brook says, just let him be. He’s just trying to press her buttons. Chase says he’s just going to have a little conversation with him, and goes over to the bar. He asks when Linc is going to get it through his thick skull, leave Brook alone. Brook goes through Linc’s jacket pockets, and Linc tells Chase that he’s just making conversation, but Chase says, Linc is harassing her. The lewd innuendos, the rubbing it in her face that he cheated her out of her songs. Who the hell does he think he is talking to her like that? Brook takes out a card from The Savoy, and Chase says, he doesn’t care if Linc is on some big power trip – Brook turns the card over and sees, 11 pm, Password: Vesper – or he just gets off on being cruel, but Linc doesn’t talk like that to her again – ever.  

Selina says, Curtis’s business continues to thrive. Who’s his friend? Curtis says, this is his nephew, Dr. Ashford, and Selina says, a pleasure to meet him. TJ says, her as well, and Curtis asks TJ to order them a round; N’neka knows what he likes. He needs to talk to Miss Wu. He says, he got her text; is there a problem? She says, thankfully, no. Curtis went off the grid to deal with a family matter. Curtis says he’s sure his staff and her nephew handled things quite nicely while he was away, but she says, nonetheless, she was compelled to confirm the details with him for tonight’s game. There is a very influential player who will be joining them for the first time.

Dante tells Sam, one of the activities at camp was horseback riding. The closest he’d been to a horse was when they’d go to the city as kids, and see them pulling carriages in Central Park, or cops mounted on patrol. So there he is, twelve years old, staring up at this giant beast, its nostrils flaring, and he’s thinking, I don’t want to get on that beast. So Cody sees this, and comes over, and Dante is thinking, great. This guy is going to give him a hard time because he’s scared, but Cody didn’t. He was super chill, and taught him how to stand, how to approach the horse, how to be respectful toward the horse. Dante was comfortable with the horse, the horse was comfortable with him, and Cody said, horses can sense human emotion; it’s their gift. At that point, Dante figured he was a good guy, and they’ve had each other’s backs ever since. Sam says, the guy’s got layers. She thinks that’s why Dante’s been able to tolerate some of the more questionable ones. Dante says, he may be screw up for sure, but he’s got a heart of gold.

Spinelli comes out of the hotel room, and Cody clears his throat. Spinelli asks if he can help Cody, but Cody says, he thinks they can help each other. He knows what’s really going on with Spinelli and Zelda. So let’s talk about what it will take to keep it quiet.

Sonny says, Nina got quiet all of a sudden. Did he say something uncomfortable? She says she doesn’t feel uncomfortable, but she’s maybe giving pause. As much as she loves sitting across the table from him, she can’t help noticing his own son hasn’t even acknowledged their existence since they sat down. Sonny looks over, and nods to Dante. He tells Nina, that’s just Dante. He’s just enjoying himself like Sonny is. Don’t worry about Dante; he’s been very non-judgmental. She says, even after the hearing? He can’t be okay with what Sonny said, or that he’s with her. Sonny takes her hand and asks if she wants to go someplace else that’s more their speed. She puts her other hand on his.

Violet says, they don’t have to be scared. Did they really think it was a bear? Maxie says, maybe she overreacted, but in all fairness, she didn’t expect to see people that far away from the campsite. Gregory says he’s sorry if they started them. He’s found he can’t resist the charm of a certain granddaughter. When she asked to come along to gather sticks for… Violet says, s’mores. Can they make them now? Austin says, there we go. A girl after his own heart. He loves a good s’more. He can eat ten s’mores. Can Violet do that? Violet nods, and he says, let’s see. They’ll wash the sticks, get them dry, and he promises he won’t munch any marshmallows in the meantime. Violet giggles.

The bartender asks what he can get Josslyn and Trina, and Josslyn says, IDs and an unregistered phone. Trina says, they heard he’s someone who can hook them up, and he says, heard it from who? They look at the bar guy, and the bartender says he might know a guy. They both want IDs? Josslyn says, actually, they want the phone first, and it should have working email, internet, and a camera. Does he have phones that could handle all of that? He says, well, sure. It’ll set them back about a grand. Is that a problem? Josslyn says, no, and puts her bag on the bar, but Trina says, wait. They’ve been burned before. They don’t want to get scammed again. Their friend said she got her phone here, and she wants to make sure he’s the right guy. She shows him a picture of Esme on her phone, and asks if he remembers selling a phone to her.

Sonny and Nina walk into Charlie’s, and she says, he’s absolutely right. This is more their scene. He tells her to grab a table, and he’ll get the drinks, but she says, how about if he grabs a table. This round is on her. She goes to the bar, and he smiles.  

Chase says, why doesn’t Linc be decent for once in his life, and relinquish control of Brook’s songs; or at least split the profits with her? Linc asks if Chase is her manager all of a sudden. Is he looking for a payday? She’s already rich; she’s not hurting for cash with that family of hers. Linc walks over to Brook and says, a man can’t get a drink in peace. She has to sic her pit bull on him? Chase tells Linc, watch his tone, and the entire conversation was his idea. Linc says, next time he gets the urge, don’t, and Chase says, keep clear of Brook and they won’t have to worry about that. Linc picks up his jacket, and says, don’t worry. He has better places to be. He leaves, and Brook says, she bets he does. Chase says, what? and she asks what Chase said to him? Chase says, just that he can’t talk to her like that again. He’s sorry he lost his cool. She says, don’t apologize. It was incredibly reactive and old school, and really… and it was the perfect diversion. Linc’s up to no good, and now she knows what.

Curtis tells Selina, everything’s ready. He’s honored their deal, even during his family emergency. She says, his family matter must have been most distressing. Are things better now? He asks if she really cares, and she says she knows he may not think of her as a friend, and that’s fair. But she can provide an ear if he needs to vent, as an ally. Their businesses are dependent on one another

Gregory shows Violet how to put marshmallows on the stick, and Cameron tells Finn, his dad is a really cool guy. Finn says, he is, and Cameron says, he helped explain this whole Title IX situation. Cameron assumes Finn asked Gregory to talk to him, and Finn says he hopes it was okay. Cameron says, it was; it really helped. He thanks Finn, and Finn says, he’s welcome. Finn just wants… Cameron says, Finn just wants what’s best for him and his brothers, because Finn cares about their mom and them. Finn says he does. They’ve been pretty great, the way they welcomed Violet. Cameron says, it’s not hard. Violet’s Violet. He’s sorry for jumping on Finn about his mom. He knows Finn only wanted to help. The truth is, he’s really scared, and seeing Aiden, he understands Aiden is scared too. Jake probably as well. Finn says he’ll let Cameron in on a secret. He’s a little scared himself, but he promises Cameron, they’ll get through this together. Cameron holds out his hand, and says, together, and they shake

The bartender says, he sold Esme a phone a while back. Kinda had an attitude on this one. Josslyn says, that sounds like Ezzie. Does he remember when she came in, around last January? He nods, and a tall bald guy comes between Trina and Josslyn, and says, hello. He knows them. Josslyn says, he doesn’t, but he says, he recognizes them both; they were all over the news a couple weeks ago. Josslyn says, he must be mistaken, but he says he never forgets pretty faces. He remembers everything about their story, and Trina’s father, the cop.

Nina says she knows it’s not the Tan-O, but with her and Sonny there, it’s close enough. That pocket universe where all the reasons why they shouldn’t be near each other disappear. That’s a fantasy, because they can’t go back to the way it was. He says, they can’t, but what they can do – now that it’s in the open – they can take the universe out of their pockets, and suddenly, they have free space. She says, free space to do what? and he says, to think about us and what happens next. He kisses her.

Dante asks if Sam wants to get out of here, and she says she would love nothing more. They get up, and Dante says, let’s go, but Cody appears, and says, they’re not going anywhere, are they? The party’s just getting started.  

Chase says, Brook went through his coat pockets? and she says, focus Whatever’s happening is happening at The Savoy. He says, for starters, they don’t even know if there’s anything illegal going on, and she says, he had a password. Chase never saw that movie where all the guests were wearing masks and costumes, hiding their identities, so they could indulge themselves in debauchery and drugs? He says, at The Savoy? and she says, they know slimeball Linc’s involved. Chase says, they don’t want to rush into anything without a better understanding of what they’re dealing with. Because that would be reckless and counterproductive. She says, God forbid, and he asks what happened to them enjoying each other’s company on a fine summer’s evening? She says, he wins. Shouldn’t the winner get the next round? She leans back in the chaise, and when he goes to bar, she slips out.

Curtis passes Linc in the back, and does a double-take. TJ is at the bar, and Curtis says, he’s sorry. There’s a lot he wants to unpack with TJ about Marshall, but he can’t right now. TJ says he understands. He’ll just chill, and maybe they can talk later. Curtis says, Molly is home, right? Why not fill her in. He’s sure she wants to know everything, and the two of them can talk about it. TJ asks if Curtis is trying to get rid of him.

Trina says, her father isn’t a cop, and tall bald guy says, right. Former cop. The bartender says, what the hell is this, some kind of sting? Josslyn says, no. This man is making it up. Tall bald guy says, Josslyn’s the PCU campus porn queen, and puts his arm around her. She says, get off of me, you creep, and pushes him. He says, touchy, and Trina says, let her go. Bar guy tells him to leave Josslyn alone, and tall bald guy says, mind his own business. He punches bar guy, and a huge fight breaks out. Josslyn and Trina cringe.  

Everyone sits around the campfire, and Violet says, Wyatt is going to play a song. He said Aiden picked out a good one. Cameron sings with Wyatt.

Curtis says he knows the situation with Marshall is on TJ’s mind, but if TJ sticks around, that’s all he’ll be thinking about too. Does that make sense? TJ says, it does. It’s been a long day for him too, anyway. How about if he stops by Curtis’s place first thing in the morning? Curtis doesn’t know about first thing, but that sounds fine. He thanks TJ for understanding, and they bro shake.

Selina finds Linc, and says, this way please, Mr. Brown. Curtis watches as Linc goes with her.

Some of the others sing along, and Wyatt and Curtis finish their song. Everyone applauds, and Maxie looks around for Austin, but he’s gone. She says, Austin?

In the woods, Austin says, all right. You made your point, but understand something. The next time you want to talk to me, you find me when I’m alone. You leave Maxie alone. Leave her friends out of it; leave her family out of it. Got it?… Now what do you want?  

Nina asks Sonny if this is part of having the space to figure things out, and he says he guesses. She says she thinks she can get used to this, and they kiss again. She asks where this newfound wisdom came from, and he says he’s made peace with the idea that his life moving forward will look more like what they had in Nixon Falls, as opposed to his past here in Port Charles. There’s no going backwards, and Carly made it crystal clear that they’re done. She says she’s sorry. Is he saying that kiss just happened because he got in a fight with his ex-wife?

Dante says, Cody left. He hightailed it out of here. They thought he was long gone. Cody says, his bus doesn’t leave for a few hours. They can stick around for a little bit, right? For old time’s sake? Dante says he doesn’t think so. He’s taking this one – Sam nuzzles his shoulder – and getting out of here. It was good seeing him. Cody says, it was good seeing Dante too, and they bro hug. Dante says, hit him up if Cody’s ever in town again. Sam says, it was good to meet him, and Cody says, her too.

Spinelli comes back to the hotel room, and Zelda asks, what took him so long? She was getting worried. He says he had to make an unexpected trip to an ATM. They’ve got a problem. Mr. Bell is going to be an issue.

Cody goes to the bar, and tells N’neka that he’s looking for a Bradley Cooper. She says, he’s in the back room, down the corridor, to the left. He says he appreciates it, and heads for the back. In the hallway, he takes out a wad of cash.  

On the phone, Chase tells Brook, okay. This is the second voicemail. He’s looked all over for her. She can’t be in the ladies room for this long. Where the hell is she?

At the entrance of The Savoy, Brook’s phone rings, but she ignores the call. She looks at herself in her camera, primps a little, and says, that’ll do in a rush. She wishes Chase was here. He doesn’t know what he’s missing. She goes inside.

The bar fight continues. A patron gets thrown across the room, a waitress cracks a chair over someone’s head, and there are head butts. We hear sirens, and Trina says, he’s getting away. The cops pull up, and Josslyn says, they need to get out now. Bar guy says, the cops, and Josslyn says, the cops.

Chase tells Brook that she’s in a far worse position than when she started; Brad tells Selina, there’s a problem with the game; Josslyn says, bust her, and let Trina go; and Drew tells Carly, he was hoping the rules could be bent for him a little.

The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills

Punta de Mita Mexico. The women get ready for their day, several of them using glam squads. In Erika’s interview, she says, she doesn’t mind downsizing except for the glam, but surprisingly, I agree with Crystal, who says, why spend the money? She just throws on some lip gloss. They meet for an amazing breakfast spread outside. Dorit says she didn’t sleep, and in her interview, she says she had a lot of anxiety going into this trip. She wasn’t sure she could do it. She’s been struggling, and toyed with the idea of going back home. It took a lot of conversations with PK to get her to a place where she can go through the trip and feel safe. In Erika’s interview, she says she spent many a morning waking up feeling hopeless. We flash back to her saying she’s taking Lexapro, and she says she’s trying to stay in the moment, not the past. She tells the others that she was called a bully in court, and in her interview, she asks if she’s supposed to take it and not fight for herself. No one is going to do it for her, and if that makes her a bully, so be it. Sutton says she wants to take the LSAT (Law School Admission Test), and Erika says she can help tutor. It doesn’t seem like she’s being sarcastic, so I can’t figure this one out. LisaR tells a story about talking to a medium around the time of Lois’s death and how she told them to look for birds. They noticed that the paintings in Lois’s hospice room had birds in them; then LisaR found a ceramic baby bird in her bag. Neither of these things seems earth shattering to me, but if they have meaning for LisaR, that’s what’s important. In LisaR’s interview, she says, everyone has an idea of what grief is like until they go through it themselves. She’s trying be open and honest about it. They toast to Lois as a bird flies by.

There’s a surfing instructor on the beach, and LisaR, Erika, and Crystal go for a lesson, while the others go shopping. As usual, Diana is taking her time, and in her interview, she says, traveling is the biggest privilege. For 18 years she couldn’t travel, and being near water is a luxury. The instructor tells the neophyte surfers that it’s like yoga. In Erika’s interview, she says she can couch surf, and I laugh. In LisaR’s interview, she says, there’s risk taker in her; it’s like a drug. She doesn’t know where she gets it from, since neither of her parents were that way, but she doesn’t want to break her neck. She has lipstick to sell. They all stink at surfing, and no one stays up on the surfboard. The other women go into town, and on the way, Kyle says, she and the family come here often; they have offices here. We see clips of her and Mauricio having a  good time. The group goes to a bar/boutique, and Garcelle tells them about buying the beach house. In Garcelle’s interview, she says she’s envisioning it for weekends or when family is in town. She sees it as communal, although she’s saying that now… In Dorit’s interview, she says she had reservations, but now she’s in her element. There’s nothing like retail therapy. In Sutton’s interview, she says she always likes the most expensive thing in the store; it’s a gift. I identify, but don’t have her budget. LisaR tells the Crystal and Erika that they’ll say they surfed. Diana arrives, and Erika says, the others pussed out and went shopping. Kyle buys the same kind of lingerie you could get at Victoria’s Secret, and I wonder, why that? Dorit says there were strong feelings with Crystal last night, and Sutton says, they’re starting their friendship from the beginning, but she has a problem with Crystal twisting words. Kyle says she thinks it’s bigger than that. Meanwhile, Erika tells Crystal that she has to have the hard conversation. What’s going on?

Erika says, Sutton called Crystal a liar, and we flash back to that. She says, Sutton will never stop coming for Crystal, but I think it looks like it’s the other way around. Crystal says she doesn’t want conflict, but Erika says, Sutton invited it. She called you a liar last night, baby. If you don’t open your mouth, you allow others to fill in the story for you. Erika is spot-on there, but clearly she’s trying to stir up a fight between Crystal and Sutton. Crystal says she’s doing her best, and Erika says, if she doesn’t stand up and fight for her side, she’ll be run over. Crystal starts crying, and Erika tells her, it’s going to be all right. In Diana’s interview, she says, Erika is straight to the point, and doesn’t mince words. She responds well to that. Crystal needs to grow bigger balls. Erika says, Crystal can’t take being called a liar on the chin. At the boutique, Sutton says she thinks Crystal is a good person, and Kyle asks if Sutton just doesn’t want a problem with her. Sutton says she’s not scared of anyone, and Kyle tells her, when Erika says something, she’s being reactive, but Crystal is more manipulative, which makes her scarier. Sutton says she wants to help Crystal be better. Friends don’t go behind your back and tell lies. Garcelle says she heard Crystal had done that to other friends, and in Sutton’s interview, she says she heard from a friend who was also Crystal’s friend, that it’s a behavior pattern. Kyle says, Crystal wants to be liked and have approval. She wants to look good, so she makes Sutton look bad,. In her interview, Kyle says she heard about this, but she has no intention of talking about it. She wants to give Crystal the benefit of the doubt, but it’s not matching up. On the beach, Erika tells Crystal, it’s not okay, and in LisaR’s interview, she says, she heard about Crystal falling out with 14 friends; she knows some of them. Being dropped by 14 friends is a lot. She doesn’t even have 14 friends. Erika says, calling her a liar is the worst thing you can do, and we flash back to several times Erika has put her finger in someone’s face for just that. Hmm… Who’s the common denominator? She says she’s torn up a few people about it. Kyle wonders what Crystal has to gain by throwing Sutton under the bus, even though she just explained that herself two seconds ago. Dorit says, Crystal was defending herself to Garcelle, and we flash back to Crystal saying, a lot more was said that was dark. Kyle suggests Crystal wants to be liked and look like a victim at the same time. Crystal and Erika go to the tiki bar, and Crystal broods. Erika says, it will be fine; just tell your truth. In Crystal’s interview, she says she thinks Erika is biased because of her history with Sutton for sure, but she also thinks Erika’s advice comes from a good place. Erika wants to protect her. Sutton is relentless, and Erika doesn’t want to see her walked over. Kyle asks if Sutton wants Crystal to admit she created this whole thing, but Sutton says, that’s on Crystal.

Kyle squeals about giant bugs or lizards or something in her room. In her interview, she says, note to self: shut the door when you leave. Next it will be an iguana. LisaR visits Erika’s room, and tells her that today was a nice distraction. When she came back, she had a good cry. Erika says, it’s therapeutic, and Kyle calls. Erika says, they were smarter to go shopping; they had their asses kicked. Kyle asks how Crystal is, and LisaR says, she cried the whole time. Kyle asks what was said, and Erika says she doesn’t remember, but Crystal cried to her through three margaritas. Kyle asks if they want to help her iron, but has no takers. I wonder, who irons anymore? And let me just point out that Crystal was having a fine time until Erika prodded the tears out of her.

The women get super dressed up, and go to a gorgeous outside table. Both Crystal and Diana are wearing bird earrings in honor of Lois, and LisaR says she’s been seeing birds all day, like this would be unusual here. LisaR asks if Diana wants to tell the story about her Room 23 book, and Diana says she thinks they already did. We see a clip of them discussing a book Diana put together, and the women encourage Diana to talk about it, but she obviously doesn’t want to. In Diana’s interview, she says, she doesn’t want to discuss it. It took a lot of money and time to achieve the book she wanted, and it backfired; rumors started. We see an article from Jezebel where it says, Diana’s subjects are all clients and call girls. From what we see of the book, it looks like artsy/nakey pictures. A producer says, so Diana isn’t a sex trafficker or high-class madam? and Diana says, it’s so ridiculous. She can’t believe it caught on. It’s very dangerous. Fake rumors can destroy your life. It was a painful time. Some people come out to do a ceremony for a cleaning of energy. First, they have to drink a shot of black tea, and in Crystal’s interview, she says she’ll do anything. She’ll pour it over her head or bathe in it. She needs the energy cleansed. A woman goes around burning (I assume) sage, and in LisaR’s interview, she says she doubts this will make them have a good dinner, but she’s willing to try. In Erika’s interview, she says, all the sage in Sageville won’t cleanse this. A guy blows a conch shell, everyone is startled, and Kyle and Dorit scream. Kyle asks what the women did after surfing, and Erika says, they talked about last night. Garcelle asks for specifics, and Erika says, Sutton called Crystal a liar. She would have to ask who gave Sutton that information. In Sutton’s interview, she says she could say she had a conversation with Jesus, and Erika still wouldn’t like it.  

Erika says, Sutton told them she’d talked other people in Crystal’s group of friends. Who’s in the group, what did they say, and how does it fit in here? Sutton says, when you have a reputation for doing this… In Crystal’s interview, she says, Sutton has no idea what happened with her friends. Sutton has never met them, so she doesn’t want to breathe life into it. Sutton says, other people heard it, and LisaR says she has. Erika says if she’s not willing to tell them, why bring it up? Crystal said she feels like an easy target, and nothing she says will be good enough. In Kyle’s interview, she says she’s not buying it. She just doesn’t like Sutton; be honest. In Sutton’s interview, she says, they could have been talking about a lot of things. Why not talk about where Erika is with her legal stuff? Garcelle says, when Crystal stays quiet, it feels like they’re ganging up on her, and Crystal says, she knows her choice of words can be confusing; that’s on her, but she’s trying. Sutton says, Crystal keeps attacking her character, and Crystal says, Sutton attacked hers. Sutton says, she apologizes for bringing up hearsay, and Crystal says, rumors. Sutton says, that was unfair, and she takes it back, but she’s not taking back saying that Crystal has done this repeatedly to her, and she needs to stop that. Crystal says, Sutton needs to understand how she feels, and Sutton tries to interject, but Erika says, let her finish. Garcelle asks why Erika is all in this. Let them figure it out. In Garcelle’s interview, she says she thinks Erika is tired of talking about herself, so she’s making up for lost time, getting in the mix with everyone else. Crystal says, moving forward in her and Sutton’s friendship is important to her, and Sutton says she needs to hear Crystal say it, that she’s not going to do that to her again, so she can trust Crystal. She genuinely likes Crystal and wants to be her friend, Crystal says, Sutton also said she hated her, and Sutton says she hates what Crystal did. Everyone agrees that’s not how Sutton put it, and in Diana’s interview, she says, Sutton just contradicted herself again. She’s realizing there’s more to Sutton than she thought. And not in a good way. Sutton says she’s a good person, and Diana says she didn’t say Sutton wasn’t. Sutton says, let her finish, but Diana says she’s trying to find a solution. This frustrates Sutton more, and she tells Diana that she’s going to keep saying it until Diana hears her. In her interview, Diana says, Sutton’s reaction is shocking and embarrassing. To turn on someone who’s trying to help isn’t normal behavior. Kyle says, Diana is just trying to diffuse the situation, and Diana says, Sutton told her at their first lunch that she didn’t respond well to yelling, and wasn’t violent, yet Sutton just screamed at her. Sutton says she needs a break, and Kyle asks if she needs someone to come with her. She and Sutton leave, and go to the bathroom, Kyle tells Sutton, it’s not that big a deal, and to take a breath.

In Sutton’s interview, she says she’s trying to be calm. She doesn’t want to look crazy. At the table, Dorit says, Sutton’s aggression was misdirected; Diana felt genuine and kind. Diana gets all weepy, but says she’s good. In her interview, she says, this is the most vulnerable she’s been in many years. Being hormonal post-pregnancy makes you more vulnerable and softer. She likes to appear like she’s got it together even when she doesn’t. Kyle tells Sutton to hold her head high. She lost it for a second, but she got it together. Garcelle says, everyone is too much. She can’t eat her artichoke. Sutton comes back, and says she’s sorry. She asks if she and Diana are good, and Erika says, Diana started crying. Sutton says she lost her cool, and she’s sorry. Diana says, it’s all good, and Diana, Crystal, and Dorit go to the bathroom to fix Diana’s makeup. Kyle says, Crystal put herself in this position, and Garcelle says, Crystal takes it, literally caves in with her body language, and that makes it feel like Sutton is coming for her. Kyle says, that’s the victim card. She thinks it’s intentional. In her interview, Kyle says, Crystal wants sympathy. She doesn’t feel comfortable, and she guesses Crystal thinks this is the best way get their attention. But guess what? It’s not. Erika asks if they really believe Crystal is manipulative. She doesn’t think Crystal has ever been challenged by a friend group, and Kyle says, maybe the 14 friends challenged her. In Kyle’s interview, Crystal must have done a little something wrong to piss off 14 friends. Garcelle doesn’t think Crystal is to be trusted, and Kyle says, she’s intentionally murky. Erika warns them that she’s coming back, and not to say what they don’t want heard. Kyle says, they need to move on, and Garcelle tells Sutton not to say her and Crystal’s friendship is great. Sutton says, they’ll grow from where they are, and Erika says, they’ll get past what this is. Crystal has to stick up for herself. Dorit says, Crystal felt genuine, and Sutton says she’s willing to start over to build a friendship. She wants to. LisaR says, lovely, and Kyle throws a piece of bread at her.

Next time, Diana says, Sutton could have gotten head-butted when she came for her; Garcelle says, Denise is coming to her party, but LisaR won’t be there; LisaR says she reached out to Denise; and Erika gets what Sutton calls mud pie messy drunk on a boat trip.

🍹 Southern Charm is beginning their new season soon, so FYI, there are lots of old episodes, watching with the cast, and where are they nows on Bravo right now.

🐣 Tweet Dreams…

Meet me tomorrow for soap and whatever else I can come up with. Until then stay safe, stay never losing your sense of humor, and stay knowing if you don’t open your mouth, you allow others to fill in the story for you.