What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

General Hospital

Nina sees Sasha come into the MetroCourt Garden, and asks how she is. Sasha says she’s good. She feels like wearing a sign around her neck that says she’s okay. She’s sorry. Nina is the last person she wanted to snap at, but Nina says, no need to apologize. Enough people ask, how are you? and you want to slap them. Sasha says she doesn’t want to keep Nina, and asks if she’s waiting for someone, but Nina says she’s getting a feel for the place, since she owns half of the MetroCourt now. Sasha says, sorry, she forgot, but Nina says, it’s understandable. Sasha has other things on her mind. Besides, Nina can hardly believe it herself. Sasha asks if it’s good or bad disbelief, and Nina says, it’s going to be a challenge. She has no experience running a hotel, and it’s not like her partner is welcoming her with open arms. But the more she wraps her brain around it, the more certain she is that it was a good call to keep the hotel. Sasha says, in that case, would Nina show her to her table? and Nina says, this way madame. She seats Sasha, and says she’s glad Sasha feels up to going out. Where’s Brando?

Brando goes to Sonny’s office at Pozzulo’s, and Sonny says, Sasha? Brando asks how Sonny can tell, and Sonny says, the look on Brando’s face. What happened? Brando says, Sasha’s ghosting him. She’s not at home, and she turned her phone off. Sonny asks why Brando is here, and not with her, and Brando says, because tracking Sasha down might be the worst thing he can do right now.

Josslyn walks into Kelly’s, and Cameron asks if she didn’t get his texts and calls earlier. What happened at Trina’s trial? She says, Trina testified and she was great. Spencer was arrested. He says, again? What is he arrested for now? She says, he testified he was with Trina when the video got posted. Cameron says, he testified as a witness? and she says, yeah. He came forward at the last minute, and convinced Diane that he could give Trina an alibi. Cameron says, so he was at Spring Ridge with Trina? Why didn’t he say anything before? She says, they weren’t at Spring Ridge. Spencer snuck out. He visited his mom’s grave. It was the anniversary of her death, and he ran into Trina there. Cameron wonders why Trina didn’t say anything, and Josslyn says, she was protecting Spencer. Trina finally told her before the trial started. Trina promised if things got desperate, she’d name Spencer as her alibi, but she didn’t have to; Spencer came forward on his own. He says, at least he stepped up for Trina. Wow. She says, yeah, wow. He did a total 180. He told the whole court Esme was the one who recorded them and sent the video to the whole school, so why isn’t Cameron more surprised? He says, Spencer knew Trina was innocent all along, and goes in the back. She says, what?

Trina and Rory go to the pool, and Trina thanks him, saying, this was a great idea. He says he figured after what happened in court today, she needed to clear her head, and she says, explain to her why Spencer went back on that stand, and said he escaped from Spring Ridge. He says, to help her, but she says, it doesn’t make any sense after everything he said to her.

At the station, Jordan tells the officer to uncuff Spencer; she’ll take from here. She says, he knew when he gave Trina an alibi, he’d be admitting he escaped from prison. Why? He says, throw enough reasonable doubt at the jury, and they just might acquit her, and she says, if Trina is acquitted or not, he’s most likely going back to prison.

Nikolas tells Ava, he put the sitting room back in order. There’s no sign she and Esme had a fight. She says, he’s positive there’s no sign of Esme where she fell from the parapet, and he says he scoured shoreline, and that’s the only thing – he indicates Esme’s shoe – that washed up. She asks if he thinks Esme’s dead, but he says he doesn’t know. They should move forward as if she is. He’s already started laying the groundwork for their cover story. She asks if he spoke with the staff, and he says, he talked to one of the maids. He asked if Esme had left yet, and she said she hadn’t seen Esme. They have to make sure everyone believes Esme took off after their argument. Ava says, she took off all right, straight over the parapet. He reaches for her, but she says, don’t. She told him; he’s touched her for the last time. He says he knows she’s angry, and she says, he just doesn’t get it. She’s better off on her own than with the man who betrayed her.

Brando tells Sonny, he and Sasha had a fight. He said something cruel to her; something he didn’t even mean. Sonny says, that’s what happens when two people who love each other get in a fight. Did she storm out, and he didn’t get to say he’s sorry? Brando says he apologized, but since the fight was about him trying to control her, he thought it was a bad idea to follow her. Now he wishes he had. Sonny says, because she’s ignoring his calls. The last thing she said to him after the fight was that she needed space. Sonny tells him, do himself a favor, and give her some space, and Brando says, why? So he can let her know he’s not a controlling jerk after all? Sonny says, he’s not a controlling jerk. Sasha had a relapse. Brando is there for her, and he’s understanding what she’s going through. Brando says, he means as a recovering addict. Whenever he and Sasha are apart, he has nightmares of her buying more drugs. Sonny says, Brando can’t keep living this way. It’s not good for him or Sasha. Brando says, which is why he needs a favor. Can Sonny spare a guy to look after her? Sonny says, Sasha’s not going to like a bodyguard, but Brando says, she doesn’t need to know. Sonny wonders if Brando is asking him to help spy on his wife.

Cameron says he’s been wanting to tell Josslyn for months. Spencer was only pretending to believe Esme, so she would slip up and provide evidence that it was her who filmed the video, not Trina. Josslyn says, all this time, Spencer’s been playing Esme? and Cameron says, once Trina was arrested, Spencer knew she wasn’t capable of something so evil, and that it had to have been Esme who framed her. Also that Esme would do a very good job at covering her tracks so nothing led back to her. She says, so Spencer was only pretending to support Esme, because he was really convincing. He says, think about it. If Esme got the slightest bit suspicious, she would have left town, and they’d have no evidence it was actually her who was responsible. No one could know. She says, no one except him, and he says, Spencer came over one night. He and Trina had just gotten in a big fight. He wasn’t cutting Spencer any slack, and forced Spencer to tell him. He wanted to tell her so badly, but Spencer made him promise. She says she doesn’t care what Spencer made him promise. She’s his girlfriend, and she has a right to know.

Sasha tells Nina, Brando isn’t joining her. They need a break from each other. Nina asks if something happened. Did they have a fight? They’re practically still newlyweds, so she doesn’t think they should be needing a break so soon. Sasha says, they’re not getting a divorce. She just came here to get a drink. It’s not healthy for a couple to spend all their time together. Nina says she agrees with that 100%, but Sasha knows her. Why be cool, calm, and collected when she can overreact? Sasha laughs, and says she knows it’s coming from a place of care. Nina asks if Sasha wants her drink with company or without, and Sasha says, normally, she’d love to have a drink with Nina, but she’s meeting someone. She knows Nina is dying to ask, but Nina insists she doesn’t care. Sasha says, that’s okay. She’s meeting Sienna Colby, the makeup artist. Nina says, they use her occasionally at some Crimson photo shoots, but she doesn’t know know Sienna. Why doesn’t she keep Sasha company until Sienna shows up?

Smoltz meets Sienna outside Kelly’s, and she says, finally. They have to hurry; Sasha’s already at the MetroCourt. Smoltz says, relax. If this girl thinks Sienna is bringing her drugs, she’ll wait. Are the clear on how this needs to work?

Rory asks if Trina talked to Spencer after he left court, and she says, yeah. She wanted to apologize for going off on him earlier. Then Jordan came and arrested him. She gets quiet, and he says, what? She says, before Spencer got arrested, he told her that he should have said something from the start. She thinks he meant to say he never believed she was guilty… but he still stayed with Esme, so that doesn’t make any sense. Sorry. She shouldn’t be talking about this. He says, why not? Cassadine’s testimony was a big deal, and she’s still processing. She says she doesn’t know how to feel about Spencer yet. She means she doesn’t know how to feel about what Spencer did, and what Rory did too. He asks if she means what he said on the stand, but she says, no. Her… and him… He says, what about them? and she says, they kissed.

Nikolas says, Esme could be dead, and Ava was fighting with her when she fell from the parapet. Ava can’t bear the brunt of this on her own. She needs his help. Ava says, she didn’t push her. They were fighting over the letter. Esme yanked it out of her hand, and it was her own momentum that forced her over. He says, he believes her, but they already went over this. Everyone knows about her hatred for Esme, and she didn’t call 9-1-1. She says, because he told her not to, and he says, because it was the right thing to do. He’s just pointing out, they have to live with that decision. She tells him, stop saying we. There is no we. The we is done. He had sex with Esme. That was vile enough, but then he lied to her face for weeks. He kept her at arm’s length, then he had sex with her after being with Esme; that’s disgusting. She’ll never forgive him. She starts to leave, but he says, if she walks out of Windymere on the heels of Esme’s disappearance, everyone is going to wonder why. What is she going to tell them? That he slept with his son’s girlfriend, and she found it unforgivable? If that’s not motive for murder, he doesn’t know what is, especially since the staff heard her fighting with Esme loudly enough to call and tell him. If Esme’s body washes up on the shoreline, Ava is going be the PCPD’s one and only suspect. His phone rings, and he says, speak of the devil; it’s the PCPD. He answers, and Spencer says he’s been arrested. He’s being charged with escaping Spring Ridge. Will Nikolas help? Nikolas says, he’ll be right there. Ava says, who’s been arrested? Is it about Esme? Nikolas says, Spencer’s at PCPD, and she asks, why? What happened? He says, Spencer testified on Trina’s behalf in court. Apparently, he saw Trina at the cemetery when he visited Courtney’s grave on the anniversary of her death, and Trina was there when she supposedly posted the sex tape. He gave her an alibi. She says, Spencer did that for Trina? and Nikolas says, and he’s been arrested thanks to his good deed. He’ll return as soon as he can. She says, don’t rush. She’s not going to be here when he gets back.

Josslyn says she told Trina that Cameron had been acting weird, and making up all kinds of excuses. He was lying to her. He says, she’s the one who knew Spencer was Trina’s alibi since the video was posted, but she says she that found out just before the trial started. He’s been actively lying to her for weeks… months. They’re supposed to trust each other; that means no secrets, especially when it’s about something like this. This isn’t who hooked up at a party or got drunk. This could potentially affect the rest of Trina’s life. He says he told her, he wanted to say something, but this was important to prove Trina’s innocence. She says, but he didn’t. Spencer still has no solid evidence proving Esme made that video, and what on earth made Spencer think a snake like Esme would ever admit the truth? He says, Spencer had incentive. There was a plan. If Esme exonerated Trina, Spencer would tell Esme who her birth mother is. She says, what? and he says, Spencer was bluffing. She says, he needs to tell her everything from the beginning.

Nikolas says, Ava’s not thinking straight. He’s sorry he slept with Esme, and he’ll apologize for the rest of his life, but right now, she has to set aside her anger and let him help her. She says, any man stupid enough, weak enough to have sex with his son’s manipulative girlfriend is a liability, not an asset. He says she can be as hurt as she want, but she says she doesn’t want to be hurt. She didn’t choose for him to be unfaithful. He tells her, he’s just saying, she can’t afford to focus on the infidelity; they have bigger priorities right now. They can’t let anyone ever find out what happened to Esme. She says she can take care of herself. It’s not exactly her first rodeo. He says, don’t do anything rash. They’ll talk when he gets back. She says, fine; go.

Jordan brings Spencer to the interrogation room, and he says, she’s not taking him to a cell? She says she’s not completely cold-hearted. She’s aware of the sacrifice he made to help Trina. He sits, and she says, so let’s hear the full story… unless he wants to wait for his lawyer. He says, it’s okay, and she sits opposite him. She asks how he escaped Spring Ridge, and he says, it’s a minimum security prison; he just did. She asks why he felt compelled to escape, and he says, it was the anniversary of his mother’s death. Even when he was away at boarding school, he made sure flowers were left on her grave, and this was the first year he wasn’t going to be able to do that. It drove him crazy, and he was growing desperate. She says, and that’s where he saw Trina, and he says, she was there for research on a school paper. He convinced her not to turn him in, and promised he was going right back to Spring Ridge – which he did. She says, so he got away with his little adventure. Why confess now? He says, for Trina.

Trina says she shouldn’t be talking about another guy with Rory, and he says she can if she wants to; he can take it. She says she gets it. If the jury finds her guilty, she’ll have to go to prison. You can’t do much dating behind a glass window, especially if one of you is a felon and the other’s a cop. He says she has to help him out here. He has no idea what she’s talking about. She says she’s reading all of his signals loud and clear. She’s too complicated, and they should just be friends.

Sienna tells Smoltz, if she said she was clear on what she had to do, would he believe her? He says, it never hurts to go over it one more time. Call him before she meets Sasha. Then slip the phone into her purse so he can hear the whole conversation. She says, Sasha talking about the night Harmony Miller died, and he says, best case scenario, they get the Face of Deception to admit she was high when she hit Harmony with her car. Or, better to get Sasha to buy pills off her, or at the very least, get her to admit she’s been using drugs. Sienna says, he’ll keep her name out of it? and he says, of course (🍷). She’s his anonymous source, and she’ll get 500 bucks for her trouble. She says, he really has it in for Sasha, and he says, it’s not personal; just business. Sasha Gilmore is clickbait. Sienna says, she’s not that famous, and he says, not yet, but soon, she’ll be infamous.

Brando says, he’s not asking Sonny to spy on Sasha, but Sonny says, Brando wants one of his guys following his wife without her knowing. What does he call that? He laughs, and Brando says, when Sonny puts it like that, it does sound bad, but Sonny says, stop worrying. He’s not saying no… Brando says, Sonny was right; it’s a bad idea. The last thing he wants to be is that guy. Sonny tells Brando to give himself a break. Sometimes when you’re watching somebody you love suffer, you do crazy things. Brando says, he’s not making it better by smothering Sasha, but Sonny says, Brando’s got great instincts. If he thinks something is going on with Sasha, there probably is. What does he think? Brando asks if Sonny thinks he should go look for her, and Sonny says, sometimes when people are in a bad way, they don’t want to ask for help. If that’s what’s going on with Sasha, what does Brando’s gut tell him? Brando thinks for a moment, and says, that Sonny is right. He has to go find her. He dashes out the door.

Sasha tells Nina, Brando doesn’t trust her. He watches her every move to make sure she doesn’t do something crazy, but Brando’s the one making her crazy. Nina says, being under the microscope is no fun… Sasha says, but? and Nina says, Brando was on the set of Home & Heart when Sasha thought Liam was in the baby carrier. He brought her to GH to put her on that 72 hour psychological watch. So he’s a little worried about her. Sasha says she knows she’s put him through a lot, but Nina says, it’s not her fault. Sasha says, it is. She thought going back to work would help her stop grieving for Liam, but she took on too much too soon, and it totally backfired. She promises to be more careful going forward.

Sienna puts the phone in her bag, and walks into the restaurant. Nina says she just wants to remind Sasha that she can talk to her about anything. Sienna comes over to the table, says hi to Sasha, and tells Nina, what a surprise. Sasha asks how Sienna has been, and Sienna says, good; crazy busy. Will Nina be joining them? Nina says, no. She was just keeping Sasha company until Sienna arrived. She gets up, and tells them, have a nice dinner. She leaves, and Sienna sits down, saying, sorry she’s late; traffic was a nightmare. She’s so glad they’re doing this. Sasha says she was surprised when she got Sienna’s text, and Sienna says, she’s been meaning to reach out, and see if Sasha needed anything. Smoltz listens in from his car, and Sasha says she’s glad Sienna suggested this. She feels like having fun tonight. Sienna says she totally gets it. Sasha should head for the bathroom first, and she’ll follow. Smoltz says, good, good, good.

Jordan hands Spencer’s arrest report to an officer, and tells him to send it to the DA’s office. Nikolas comes in with Martin, and asks, where’s his son? Jordan says she assumes Nikolas wants to speak to him, and Nikolas says, alone, if possible… Please. She says, Spencer’s in the interrogation room. He’s got 15 minutes. Nikolas thanks her, and goes in. Martin tells Jordan, as she knows, his client was a model prisoner at Spring Ridge; fully served out his sentence. She says, and skipped incarceration without notifying the authorities. Save your breath, counselor.

Nikolas says, when he saw Spencer testifying for Trina, he had a feeling this would happen. Spencer says, it will be worth it if Trina’s found not guilty, but Nikolas says he’s afraid that’s not a sure thing. Spencer says, which is why he needs Nikolas to do something for him. Make sure Esme does not leave town.

There’s a knock at Sonny’s office door. I guess today is the day he gives out favors. Ava comes in, and he asks what she’s doing here. She says she needs his help.

Martin says he takes it by Jordan’s refusal to listen to him, that she opposes leniency for a young man who was merely trying to honor the memory of his dead mother? She says she’s not the person he needs to convince. He needs to go before a judge. He says, by all means. What does she say they process Spencer ASAP, so they get him on that night court docket? He’s sure his client would love to get out of here as soon as possible, and to be clear, they’re hardly talking about a dangerous felon or a menace to society. He’s simply an impulsive young man who made a bad decision.

Nikolas wonders why Esme suddenly matters to Spencer now. If he knows she made the sex tape, how could he possibly still have feelings for her? Spencer says, the only feelings he has for Esme are anger and contempt, but as long as Esme’s in town, there’s a chance she can exonerate Trina. Nikolas says he doesn’t see that happening, and Spencer says he’s been looking for evidence to link Esme to that video, but so far, he’s come up empty. Nikolas says, Esme is too savvy to slip up, and Spencer says, yeah, so he came up with another idea; to offer Esme a deal.

Rory says, Trina thinks he only wants to be friends. Where did that come from? She says, to start, he’s not bothered by her talking about another guy. Then there’s a good chance she might be found guilty and sent to prison, which means a bad chance of them getting any closer, and Rory just has to be practical. At this point, it makes sense that they’re friends. And not even that if it’s awkward. He says, awkward for who? and she says, it’s okay. Her feelings aren’t hurt. He says he’s sorry to hear that because he’s totally into her. She says, he is? Then why is he letting her run her mouth about Spencer? Shouldn’t he be jealous? He says, if Spencer Cassadine fell into a hole never to be seen again, he wouldn’t shed a tear. But obviously something is bothering her, and he wants to help. If it means talking about Spencer’s testimony and wondering why he came forward, Rory was willing to bite his tongue until it bled and listen. That’s what he gets for being a nice guy. She says, he’s not trying; he is.

Sienna gets the pills out of her bag, but Sasha says, actually, she’s good. She’s hungry. Does Sienna want to order something? Sienna suggests they start with cocktails, and go from there, and Sasha says, sounds good. Anything particular in mind? She can choose. Sienna says, by the way, Sasha looks great. She was worried about Sasha after Home & Heart. Sasha says, thanks. She’s doing a lot better. Sienna says she’s overindulged a few times herself when the stress got to her, and Sasha says, but not on national TV. Sienna says, true, and Sasha asks if she’s done any exotic shoots lately. Sienna says, she was in Venice recently, and Sasha says, lucky her; tell her everything. Sienna says, it was amazing. The models were temperamental at times; Sasha knows how it is. The photographer has one vision, and the stylist has another. And when she’s working on the models, it’s, more blush, not enough blush, too much eyeliner, can the lip gloss be shinier? It doesn’t matter if you’re in front or behind the camera. If people knew how stressed out this business makes them. Sasha says, it’s a good thing they don’t know. They’re in the business of selling a fantasy. Sienna says, it doesn’t matter how much they suffer (oh, please, stop). Like when Sasha had that horrible accident with Harmony Miller. In the car, Smoltz says, amateur. You’re going to blow this whole thing.

Ava tells Sonny, Trina’s trial is finishing up. The jury starts deliberation tomorrow. He says, and it doesn’t look good for Trina, but she says she doesn’t know. It could go either way, but she’s not willing to sit around and wait. He says, that’s not her style, and she says she needs to be sure Trina is acquitted. He says, the easiest way to do that is to get the guilty party to confess. Or he could just go to Esme Prince and tell her… Ava says, no. He can’t do that.

Sasha asks if Sienna knew Harmony, but Sienna says, no. She’s just a true crime junkie. Smoltz looks like he’s going to have apoplexy, and Sienna says, that Harmony committed two murders, and tried to kill two more caught her attention. Sasha did the world a favor, taking her out. Sasha says, every death is a tragedy, no matter who the victim is, and Sienna says, of course (🍷). So what happened? Did Harmony just run out in front of Sasha’s car? Sasha says, this was a mistake, and Sienna says, she’s so sorry. She’s like a bull in a China shop when it comes to true crime. Please stay. Sasha says, good luck finding someone else to discuss her true crime obsession, and leaves. Smoltz says, damn it. The Titanic stayed afloat longer. Back to the drawing board.

Ava tells Sonny, it’s not important for the world to know that Esme’s behind the revenge porn. All that matters is that Trina goes free. Sonny says he thought she’d jump chance of bringing Esme down; personally escorting her to Pentenville. Ava laughs, and says, well, Esme’s gone. She left town. He says his people can find her, but Ava says, they have no time for that. What if the jury comes back with a verdict before they find her? He says, his people are very good at finding people, and she says, trust her. They won’t find Esme in time. He gets up, and asks what she did, but she says, this is not about her. This is about a young woman’s future. Will he help Trina or not? He says he’ll take care of it, and she asks what he’s going to do. He just looks at her, and she says, okay. She thanks him, and leaves.

Cameron tells Josslyn, Spencer thought Esme would care more about finding out who her biological mother was than she would about hurting Trina. She says, well, he was wrong, and he was trying to outmaneuver the biggest manipulator on the planet. And there was probably a much simpler, more direct way to help Trina, but Spencer wanted to be the hero, and he wanted to pull the strings. Cameron says, and he should have seen that, but she says, not necessarily. It’s always easier to say what you would have done differently when you’re looking back on a situation. She wasn’t in Cameron’s position, and didn’t have Spencer begging her to keep this secret. Still, she’d like to think if he had told her, they could have figured something out together. He says he’s sorry, and she says, now that she knows everything, they need to work together to bring Esme down.

Rory takes Trina’s hands, and says, earlier, she sounded pretty sure she’d be found guilty, and she says she has to consider the possibility. He says, or she could consider being an optimist, but she says, if she gets her hopes up, and she’s found guilty, she’ll be crushed. It’s better to prepare for the worst. She takes her shoes off, and sits at the edge of the pool, putting her feet in the water. He takes his shoes and socks off, and says, she was great on the stand, and she has some serious guts risking cross-examination. The word on ADA Arden is, she eats barracudas for lunch. Really? I did not get that impression. She seemed more like a high school student pretending to be a lawyer. Trina says, and she’s just a minnow, and he sits next to her. He tells her, don’t sell herself short. She gave the jury a chance to see her, Trina Robinson, a flesh and blood person; not some mustache twirling villain looking to humiliate her friends. She says she wishes he was on her jury, and he asks if she regrets taking the stand. She says, no. She got to speak her truth, and thanks to Diane, she got to tell the jury how much Esme hated Josslyn. He says, her lawyer did a great job pointing out that Esme had the means, opportunity, and a strong motive, and she says, whatever happens, at least she knows she did everything she could to help herself. He says, and whatever happens, he’s glad to know her. He inches closer to her, says, and he definitely wants the chance to know her more, and they kiss.

Spencer tells Nikolas, Esme was tempted to confess in exchange for learning the identity of her biological mother. He could try again, maybe get her to crack, but he can’t do that if she disappears. Nikolas says, Spencer should focus on his own problems, not Esme, and Spencer says, what if Nikolas spoke to her? At this point, Nikolas has a better chance of getting through to Esme than he does. Nikolas says, that’s ridiculous, and Spencer says, is it? Nikolas and Esme have gotten a lot closer lately. It’s worth a shot. Nikolas says, there’s something he has to tell Spencer. I wonder, why bother this kid with this now? It’s not like Esme can tell him. Oh wait. Scratch that. She’ll probably be waiting when they get back to Windymere.

Brando approaches Nina at the restaurant, and asks if she’s seen Sasha. Nina says she saw Sasha here earlier; she was meeting a friend. He says he checked. She’s not here now. Nina says she needs to go to Crimson to make a quick edit. Did he try the pool? He says, no, and thanks her, running off.

Ava finds Nina on her tablet in a corner of the restaurant, and says, look at her. Hard at work already. Taking to owning the MetroCourt like a duck to water. Will Nina be delivering her room service meals personally? Nina says, very… Wait a minute. Ava has taken a room? Does that mean more problems between her and Nikolas? Ava says, another problem in a long list of problems, and Nina guesses Trina’s probably at the top of that list. How is the trial going? Ava says, that’s actually one thing she feels good about. Nina says, Trina won’t be going to prison, and Ava says, she can almost guarantee it.

Sonny calls Dex, and tells him to come by. Sonny’s got a job for him.

Nikolas says, as far as Esme goes… and Spencer says, what did she do now? Nikolas says, she’s gone, and Spencer says, gone where? Nikolas tells him, she left town. Oh good. At least he’s not telling Spencer what an idiot he really is.

Trina says, so Rory is interested? and he says, he told her. She says, it looks like she’s stuck with him, and he says, like glue. She says, well, at least until she goes to prison, but he says he’s not giving up on her just yet, and she shouldn’t either.

Spencer and Nikolas come out, and Spencer says, time for his arraignment? Jordan says she’s afraid not, and Martin says he’s sorry. He couldn’t get Spencer before a judge until tomorrow morning. Nikolas says, Spencer’s got to spend the night in a cell? and Spencer says, his home away from home; good. Nikolas says, let him take Spencer back to Windymere. They have his word; he’ll have Spencer back to go before the judge tomorrow. Jordan says, if she did that for him, she’d have to do it for every parent who made a similar promise. Spencer says he’ll be okay. He’s just sorry he can’t be there for Trina. He needs Nikolas to find Esme. She’s the key to Trina’s freedom.

Nina is having a drink with Ava, when Brando comes back. Nina asks if Brando found Sasha, and he says, she’s not at the pool; she’s not at the restaurant. How did she seem when Nina spoke to her? Nina says, she seemed fine. She did mention they’d had an argument. He tells her, he said the wrong thing, and Ava says, a specialty of hers too, she’s afraid. Brando says, it sounds like Sasha is covering her true feelings. Nina says she doesn’t know, but she gets the sense that Sasha is definitely not okay.  

Sierra gets in the car with Smoltz, and says, that was a bust. He says, ya think? She’s obsessed with true crime. She says, at least she tried. So pay up. She holds out her hand, and he says, dream on. If you succeed, you get paid. She says, he wants her to try again? and he says, the Gilmore girl is obviously on edge. The tiniest thing could push her over. The car rocks, and suddenly Sasha appears at the driver’s window.

Tomorrow, Dex says, whatever it is, he’s in; Josslyn says Carly will never guess what she just witnessed; and Sasha wants to know why the hell they were setting her up.

The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills

LisaR calls each member of the group. Diana says she’s struggling. She’s  sick of being sick. Kyle says she’s out of covid jail on Monday, and LisaR says she’s having a wine tasting. She calls Dorit, and Garcelle, saying she’s having a little afternoon soiree, and tells Sutton that she can wear leather pants. Dorit says, this is actually happening, and in LisaR’s interview, she says, the whole enterprise stemmed from the wine tasting where they got sh*t faced. We flash back to that, and Dorit says, she wouldn’t miss it for the world. LisaR says, there’s only going to be six of them, and Dorit says, she’s one of the last women standing. Her and Kathy. LisaR says, Kathy was exposed, so she’s not coming. Dorit is the last woman standing.  

Sutton shows her son Philip how to make chicken salad, and her daughter Porter joins them. In Sutton’s interview, she says, during Christmas, her children were in Italy with their father. We flash back to her telling Garcelle, this is her life as a single person. She says, it’s weird to be alone with no family around. She talks to herself, she talks to her animals…  She asks about the pictures from Philip’s birthday party, and Porter says, the skydiving, and in her interview, Sutton says, when Philip was three, he hated flying. They were on a flight, and he screamed, we’re all gonna die! She was mortified, telling people, he’s three; he doesn’t know what he’s talking about. Now he’s jumping out of planes. A year ago he wanted to join the Army, because he’d been too comfortable in life. She thought, she’ll make him uncomfortable then, and sent him to Georgia when it was 105 with 100% humidity. She got him a job delivering vending machines, and when she picked him up a month later, he wanted to go to college. He’ll be attending The Citadel, which is a military school, so they both win. Porter says, the chicken salad is gross in theory with all the mayonnaise, but it tastes good.  

Garcelle meets Dorit for dinner, and Dorit says she hates not hugging. In Garcelle’s interview, she says she and Dorit have past hurdles, but it’s all in the past now. Dorit apologized for calling her a bully. Now they can have fun, not judge, and move on. She tells Dorit that she’s recording the audio portion of her book, and we see a clip of her in the studio. Dorit says, not many women would have cojones to put everything out there, and in her interview, Garcelle says, there are stories she never talked about. She had an experience with Bill Cosby that was scary. There were things she thought she had peace around, but when she was writing, she found they were still haunting her. Dorit says, she did it. Garcelle says she heard about PK’s DUI, and Dorit says, alleged DUI; he was never booked. He was arrested, and took a breathalyzer, but he was under the limit, and the cops said he’d have to find his own way home. He was so shook up. In Garcelle’s interview, she says, she heard the officers drove him home. That would never happen with anyone in her world. Did they stop and get a steak too? I literally lol. Dorit wonders if Erika is going to drink at the wine tasting; and Garcelle says, they had drinks the other night, and she’d said she’s not allowed with the medication. She told Erika she was concerned, but didn’t know Erika fell until after the fact. Dorit is shocked, and says, Erika’s got to figure it out. Garcelle tells Dorit that Erika said something interesting; that being Sutton’s friend may be a liability. Dorit wonders what she meant, and Garcelle says, being Sutton’s friend is detrimental. In her interview, she says, maybe it was a compliment. She’d be liked more if she wasn’t with Sutton, but that would also mean she can’t handle herself, and let it happen. Dorit says, Garcelle doesn’t seem like the Thelma and Louise type. Garcelle says she’ll throw something at someone for you.

Mikey makes espresso, and he, Erika, publicist Jack, and assistant Laia talk Pretty Mess Hair. They want to get stylists to post about it, and Erika says, everyone is always adding hair. Mikey ask if Erika is dating someone perfect, and we see something about an NFL player, but she says she’s just trying get good d*ck. She needs someone to slip into her DMs for her, and they all agree Jack would be perfect to respond to offers. In Erika’s interview, she says, she wouldn’t be a good girlfriend just coming off a 20 year relationship. D*ck is great, but she and a boyfriend have no time for each other. She tells them that she sent a text to the wrong person, thanking them for the good d*ck. They responded, what are you talking about? I’ve been trying to give you some. She’s decided she wants to be a part-time dominatrix. In an intimate moment, a man she was with said she’d be good at it, and should explore it. She’d be high-end with no more than five customers. In her interview, she says she’s bossy, and likes to administer pain for pleasure. She loves latex and costumes, and knows there are people who like that. She says she’s calling it Pretty Mess Dungeon, and tells Mikey to call the trademark lawyer immediately. Who knows older, narcissistic, rich men better than she does?

LisaR meets Sutton for lunch, and Sutton says she likes LisaR. LisaR says, people think she’s a bitch, and they’re scared of her. Sutton says she was only scared one time, and we flash back to that whole Elton John ticket thing. LisaR says, she doesn’t want to hold it, but it makes her mad sometimes. At the end of the day, it’s been while. It’s over, it was silly, Sutton did say she was sorry, and LisaR has to move on. Ugh. Even more to loathe. She’s one of those people who forgives you, then gets mad all over again out of the blue. LisaR says she likes to torture Sutton, and Sutton says she can take it. LisaR says she doesn’t think she’d do it if Sutton couldn’t, and Sutton says, LisaR is like the Grinch. Her heart gets bigger. LisaR says, she has a big mouth on top of a big heart.

Everyone gets ready for the wine tasting. Dorit calls Diana, who says, look how much they did to avoid covid, and it took them down anyway. Erika calls Kyle from the car, and they talk about Kyle’s new puppy, Smokey. We see a picture, and yep, he’s adorable, and big. Sutton calls Crystal, saying she wants to bring Crystal some soup, and Crystal says she’s just lying around and eating; she’s gained five pounds. At LisaR’s house, Erika asks for chamomile tea, saying she’s not supposed to drink with the meds she takes, and she does. In Dorit’s interview, she says she was there to witness how Erika behaved at Garcelle’s party, and now Garcelle mentions her falling. It makes Dorit think she might need to keep an eye on Erika. Erika tells everyone, it says on the bottle not to do it, but of course she did. Garcelle comes in with a jacket screaming Balenciaga, and Dorit asks, who made it? Harry joins them, and says his house is blessed. LisaR says, they set everything up because everyone has covid, and Dorit tells her, be honest. Did she and Harry do it, or just Harry? We flash back to Harry’s Bolognese dinner, and Lisa says she blew the leaves. Harry says she did it very well, and Erika says she read in a book that LisaR is a good blower. Sheree (not that one), says, if Harry left a Yelp review… Erika says, from one to five, how’s LisaR’s BJ? LisaR says, it better be ten, and Harry says, ten, but she tells him, it took way too long.

Erika brings up Crystal’s eating disorder, and says she asked Crystal if she’s gotten professional help. She talks about it a lot. Dorit says, Crystal told her that she was vomiting every day, and in Dorit’s interview, she says, clearly if Crystal is talking about it, it’s a sign she needs help. LisaR says, her daughter was 15 when she had an eating disorder, and they sought therapy right away. Erika says, Crystal has been  talking about it on Instagram, and Dorit says she was shocked by some of the things Crystal told her. LisaR says, Crystal can’t get better unless she has help. In Sutton’s interview, she says she doesn’t like it when they talk about someone who isn’t there. She doesn’t know a lot about eating disorders, and hasn’t talked one-on-one to Crystal. She wants to stay out of it, and not get involved.

LisaR calls them to the wine tasting table, where their wine people Doug and Maggie await. Doug says the rosé is a continuation of their France trip, and it’s from the Provence area. In LisaR’s interview, she says, she’s putting herself in a vulnerable position. These bitches could go hard, and tear it apart. In Sutton’s interview, she says, the rosé is perfect for her taste; she likes a pale rosé. They taste several wines, and in Garcelle’s interview, she says, at a wine tasting, you normally take a sip, spit, and put it down, but nobody here has a spit bucket. Harry thinks the brut needs more work, and it’s agreed the rosé is perfection. Garcelle asks if LisaR is going to feed them, and LisaR says, they have pizza and charcuterie. Harry made the pizza of course. Harry says he’s going for a walk, and escapes these harridans. Dorit says she has a friend who’s into Garcelle, and thinks she’s the most beautiful woman in the world. He’s been asking for her to introduce them for the last couple of years. Sheree asks what he looks like, and Dorit says, he’s not a man on the prowl, looking to get laid. Erika says, then he’s not the guy for her, and announces she’s having a lot of sex. Dorit asks if it’s with the same person, and Erika says, yes. Dorit asks if that isn’t dating, and Sheree suggests it’s more like he’s providing a service. Erika says, and she’s providing one back. Dorit mentions Erika’s drinking, and in her interview, Dorit says, she doesn’t want to be judgmental, but she wants to be a good friend. She’s kind of torn.

Garcelle wants to speak to Erika, and the others have cookies on the patio. Sheree says, LisaR is very nurturing, and LisaR says, everyone thinks she’s a bitch. Sheree says, she’s a sweet soul (um… no), and we can all get caught up in the bitchy. Erika and Garcelle sit on a bench, and Garcelle says she loved having drinks with Erika, but it threw her off when she said Sutton was a liability. She wondered what Erika meant by that, and Erika says, Garcelle always has to clean up after and take care of Sutton. She feels like Garcelle doesn’t have to; Sutton gets herself in hot water. Garcelle says, she gets that, but it’s what friendship is for. Erika says, some of the things Sutton says are wild, like she’s sorry she didn’t have a gun put to her head when Dorit did have one put to hers. Garcelle says she told Sutton it was wrong. and asks if they can invite Sutton into the conversation. Erika says, no, and Garcelle asks, why? Erika says, why would they? and Garcelle tells Erika, maybe Sutton will say something that will change her mind. Erika says she doesn’t think now is the moment, and Garcelle says she comes from a big family. They have each other’s backs. Doesn’t Erika think Garcelle would stand up for her? Erika says, she thinks it would be conditional. She feels Garcelle would do more for Sutton, but she and Sutton are closer. She doesn’t think Garcelle would cut her the same slack. Garcelle has been clear about how she feels about Erika and what happened, and she doesn’t think Garcelle necessarily believes her. Garcelle says, she doesn’t know if she believes everything, and in Erika’s interview, she says, Garcelle has set her sights on her again and again. She wants to make Erika the bad guy. She doesn’t know what she’s done to Garcelle, but witness her life burning down. She’s so judgmental.

Sutton says she doesn’t like being called a liability, and we see a clip of Garcelle telling Sutton that she’s going to talk to Erika. She says, if Erika felt like that, Erika should have told her, not Garcelle. She asks why Erika feels she’s a liability, and Erika says, Garcelle always cleans up for her and supports her. Sutton says, that’s called being a friend, and Erika says, she’s had spats with her, Diana, and LisaR, and Garcelle is there to defend and support her. Garcelle asks why Erika is trying to make her feel bad about being a loyal friend, and Erika says, Garcelle supports Sutton when Sutton falls out with one of them, but Sutton went tit for tat for Garcelle about LisaR. We flash back to Sutton on Watch What Happen Live, saying, LisaR and Harry never thanked her about the Elton John gala tickets. Erika says, Garcelle would never embarrass or hurt anyone, but Sutton did. LisaR says, Sutton has no idea of how much she hurt her and Harry. There’s a reason she wants to hurt LisaR, and she has to figure out why. LisaR always wants some complicated, diabolical reason for what are basically off-the-cuff hurtful remarks people make when they’re pissed at you.

Sutton says, LisaR talked about forgiveness, but it doesn’t sound like she’s forgiven Sutton. Their lunch went differently than it is now, and she thinks LisaR plays it with an audience does, but she does like her. LisaR makes fun of Sutton’s accent, and Sutton says she thinks LisaR is a good person… some days. LisaR says, Sutton doesn’t respect her (God knows I don’t), and in her interview, LisaR says she doesn’t know why it bugs her. There’s an injustice to it. Sutton is still not being honest and it’s frustrating. Sutton says, things were different at lunch. LisaR said she’d talked nasty behind Sutton’s back, and we flash back to LisaR talking smack about Sutton with Erika, Kyle, and Diana. In her interview, LisaR says, if Sutton said she wanted to hurt her because she’d hurt Garcelle, she thinks she could move past it. Sutton says, LisaR talks out of both sides of her mouth, and LisaR says, so does Sutton, since that’s the best she can come up with.  

LisaR’s head spins around, and she tells Sutton, f*** you! Get out of my house! If you’re going to talk like this, leave. In Sutton’s interview, she says, the soap actress never leaves LisaR’s body. It would take an exorcism to get it out. LisaR says, come after her as much as she wants, but if she comes for LisaR’s children and husband, end of story. She screams, if you come for my children or husband, I will f***ing hunt you down! She asks if everyone is clear, and Sutton asks if it’s a threat or a promise, and LisaR says, it’s a fact. Garcelle says, no kids allowed, and LisaR says, or husbands. I’m sitting here wondering WTF happened, and I guess this husband tirade is because Sutton said she’d gotten tickets for LisaR and Harry. See why he goes for walks? Sutton tells LisaR that she’s sorry 100%, and LisaR says, Sutton tried to humiliate them, but she humiliated herself. She’s slurring her words at this point, laughs, and says she’s drunk. Then she tells Sutton that she looked like a f***ing fool, humiliating her, Harry, and the charity tenfold. Get ready. That’s the truth.

Yeah, between the two of them, I don’t think it’s Sutton who’s humiliating herself.

Next time, PK gets new teeth; Sutton tells Crystal what was discussed at the wine tasting; Dorit has a dinner where a celebrity who is not Boy George plays a concert; and LisaR totally breaks down.

💡 You know, I do feel badly for LisaR about Lois, but I can’t support her using it for an excuse to be an a-hole. She was an a-hole before Lois passed away, but she’s using Lois as a reason to let fly with whatever she likes at this point. The soap actress has given way to the she-devil.

🐕 All About Those Pets…

The pets of Beverly Hills, which I would so much rather see than the Housewives.

https://heavy.com/entertainment/real-housewives/crystal-kung-minkoff-new-puppies-photos/

🧸 Lullaby and Goodnight…

Come by tomorrow for some soap and some Charm. Until then, stay safe, stay supporting local businesses, and stay knowing, It’s always easier to say what you would have done differently when you’re looking back on a situation. So don’t beat yourself up about it.