What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

General Hospital

Nina goes into Charlie’s and sees Sonny. She asks if he’s doing all right, and when he doesn’t answer, she says, Brando? Anything else happen? He says he and Alexis got into it with Kristina. Mostly Alexis. Kristina witnessed the attack on Brando; they’re just trying to keep her safe. Nina says, they express it in different ways, and he says, Kristina is an amazing young woman. He loves how she stands up for herself… Drew comes by, and says, sorry to interrupt. He just wanted Sonny to know how sorry he is about Brando. Sonny thanks him, and asks how Carly took the news, but Drew says he has no idea. He hasn’t spoken to her in a couple of days.  

In the hotel restaurant, Carly downloads her information to a new phone, and sees all the missed calls and messages. She says, wow; that’s a lot. She calls Josslyn, and leaves a message, saying, she’s still in Jacksonville, but she has a phone. She could have used Josslyn when she was trying to download everything from the cloud, but so far, so good. Call her when she gets this. She listens to a message from Drew, asking her to call, and then Sonny, saying, call him back. Peyton walks in, and asks why on earth Carly is still here.

Anna asks if Lucy was expecting Victor, and Maxie says, she seemed surprised to see him, so she doesn’t think so. Anna asks if she knows where they were headed, but Maxie says, no, and Valentin asks, how long ago did they leave? Maxie says, a little bit ago. To be honest, Lucy was definitely trying to get rid of Victor… Anna says, and he wouldn’t take no for an answer. Maxie says, let’s just say he was persistent… Okay. What’s going on, and how worried should she be?

On the Haunted Star, Victor brings Lucy over to a beautiful lunch spread, and she says, it’s too much, but he says, nonsense. For a woman such as herself, the whole world would not be enough. She says she used to believe that, then she saw the whole world, but this is amazing. She thought when he said a business lunch, he meant salads and Arnold Palmers. He says, if that’s all she expected in an afternoon with him, it’s high time they got that requited. The boat lurches, and Lucy asks, what was that? He says, it’s probably the ship unmooring, and she says, why would the ship unmoor? He says, to set sail. Soon, they’ll be miles from Port Charles.

Doc is about to leave his office, but Elizabeth is there when he opens the door. He asks if she’s all right, and she says she’s better. He says, good. He’s looking forward to picking up where they left off, but she says, that’s why she’s here. She was thinking about their session, and how she remembers the man she thinks is her father at the top of the stairs when the woman fell; that was a huge breakthrough. He says, they made a lot of progress. Unfortunately, memories can be a little tricky. The only way to verify what really happened is for her to reach out to her father. She says she will if she has to, but right now she has a better idea. But for it to work, she needs his help.

Jordan says, she’s only conferring with Portia and Finn on the toxicology report because they were Brando’s doctors, and they could be of help to this investigation. So no discussing with family or friends; no leaking to the press. She looks at Finn, and says, let’s keep this between them. Are they good? Portia says, of course (🍷), and Finn says, yes. Jordan says, good. Someone killed Brando using a poison hook. Any thoughts? Finn asks to look at the report, and Portia says, the toxin seems vaguely familiar. She just doesn’t know why. Finn says, the assailant didn’t use just any toxin. Whoever Jordan is looking for has a real imagination for murder. Most toxins are found in big cities, right? Portia says, why? Is this a country poison? Finn says, you could say that; it’s a venom. Jordan says, like venom from a snake? and he says he can’t determine the genus or species, but it’s definitely a reptile. Jordan says, and he knows this why? and he says, he’s never run into this in a modern clinical setting, but in the past, there have been warrior cultures who use venom to poison their spears; untouched and indigenous cultures still do to this day. Portia says, to protect themselves from missionaries and interlopers. Finn looks at her, and she says, what? She watches the science channels. Jordan says, but they’re not talking about ancient warfare or indigenous tribes. She’ll check the databases, but she doesn’t recall any serial killer profiles that have any of this. Portia says, so Jordan does believe this is the work of a serial killer.

Drew tells Sonny, he called Carly a couple of times yesterday; he just never heard back. He takes it they haven’t heard from her either. Sonny says, he called her; she never called him back. Drew says he’ll check in with Michael, and see if his mom reached out to him, Sonny asks if Drew has the contacts for the leadership seminar Carly went to, and Drew says he does. He’ll call Mia. She’s the leader of the program, and set the whole thing up. He’ll just tell her it’s a family emergency. He steps away, and Sonny tells Nina that he’s only worried because Carly wouldn’t ignore him in a dangerous situation. Nina says he doesn’t have to explain why he’s concerned about Carly. Neither does Drew.

Carly tells Peyton, she’s a guest at this hotel. She has every right to be here. Peyton says, this place used to have better standards, and Carly asks if she’s still working on her Gala. Or is Peyton and the other ladies who lunch meeting about community resources? What’s next? A designated picnic area for those making under six figures? Peyton says, actually, Jacksonville Beautification Guild is known for their charity work, and Carly says, when they’re not digging up souls from their eternal resting places. Peyton says, she had no idea Virginia was buried in that cemetery, and Carly says, great. Since Peyton has no vested interest either way, she can reconsider. Peyton says, she’s afraid it’s too late, and Carly asks, why? The measure to move the cemetery wasn’t unanimous. All they have to do is hold another vote.

Valentin tells Maxie, he doesn’t think there’s any reason to worry. He knew Lucy and his father were acquainted, but he didn’t realize they were lunching together these days. Anna asks if Maxie can reach her. Lucy’s not picking up her calls, and they need to have a chat. Maxie asks if this is about Deception, and they both say, yes. Valentin asks if Maxie knows when Lucy will be back. He doesn’t suppose there are any important business meetings Lucy has to be back for. Maxie says she’ll check with Lucy’s assistant, and picks up the phone. She asks if Lucy has any appointments today, and Anna tells Valentin, this is on her. She never should have done this; pushed Lucy to get information from Victor. He’s too dangerous. Valentin says he thinks Lucy can handle herself, and Anna says, what? Robert’s people wouldn’t take the case, and they’re professionals. Maxie tells the assistant to check sticky notes, scratch paper, napkins… Sometimes she writes things on there. Anna says Valentin knows his father better than her. So this unexpected lunch date, could it be because he’s figured out if Lucy has an agenda? He says, if he did, Victor certainly could.

Victor asks what Lucy thinks of the venue, and she says, the Haunted Star… it’s interesting. He says, just interesting? and she says, rather inspired. Isn’t this the very vessel that brought him to Port Charles… He says, shhh, and she says, so many, many years ago, before the dearly departed Helena Cassadine gifted it to his nemeses Luke and Laura on their wedding day? He says, of course (🍷). She literally wrote the book. She says, you bet I did. Here they are. If she didn’t know better – and she’s not saying she does know better – she would think he just abducted her. He asks if that’s a bad thing, and she says, she hasn’t been kidnapped in very a long time. She supposes she could use a refresher. He says, she’s a charmer, and pulls out her chair. She thanks him, and says, he’s a master of understatement, and sits. So do tell. What are they doing here on this particular vessel? He says he’s rented out the entire ship, so they could have no interruptions, and she says, how gracious of him. Johann walks in with champagne, and she says, she sees he brought his goombah. Hello goombah. Victor says, champagne? and she says, of course (🍷), and thanks him. She’s curious though. Do all his business lunches include bubbly and boat rides? He says, neither one of them is what he would call traditionalists. It’s one of the reasons they’ve been drawn to each other. So shall they enjoy their champagne? She says, they shall indeed, and they clink glasses. He says, they can watch the sunset over the water from the main deck, and she says, sunset. How long is this lunch? He says he’s taken the liberty of checking her schedule, and she’s free for the rest of the day. She says, he’s correct. She really doesn’t have any plans, except work. He says, and her lawyer acquaintance is still out of town, so it’s settled then. They clink glasses again, and he says, she’s all his.

Maxie tells Valentin and Anna, there’s no meeting in Lucy’s day planner, sticky notes, scratch paper, or napkins. That really doesn’t mean anything. She frequently doesn’t write things down, and just tends to show up. Anna asks if Brook caught where they were going, but Maxie says, she wasn’t in the room when Victor was here. Now that she’s thinking about it, it is really weird that Lucy actually went with him. They’re kind of in crisis mode with everything going on with Sasha, and it’s really not like Lucy.

Sonny tells Nina, of course (🍷) Drew’s concerned; he and Carly are friends. Nina says, from the look of what happened at the picnic, they’re more than friends. He says she’s mentioned that before, and she tells him, she’s just saying it again because maybe Drew’s investment in Carly’s well-being is more than he’s letting on.

On the phone, Drew says, so Carly didn’t even check in? Does Mia know what happened?… Where did the plane land?… All right. Thanks. He’ll find her. Here’s hoping she didn’t get in too much trouble.

Peyton tells Carly, the process of moving the cemetery has already begun. Carly was given ample notice, the same as the other families. Carly’s phone rings, and it’s a call from Drew, but she ignores it. She says, that’s not the point. Her mom had one burial request; to be near the water in her hometown. Peyton says, Virginia also probably wanted her grave tended to on a regular basis, and they know what happened there. Peyton wanted a healthy, happy marriage, and Carly spoiled that too. We can’t always have what we wanted. Carly says she was trying to be nice, but if Peyton wants to do it the hard way, that’s fine with her.

Elizabeth says she still hasn’t been able to recall that woman’s face, and Doc says he knows it’s frustrating. She says, if he hypnotizes her again, and they revisit that memory, she thinks what she saw will become clearer. He says, they can concentrate on recognizing those faces at their next session, but she ask if they can do it now. He says he has an appointment in ten minutes, and she says she knows it’s not an emergency, but she can’t sleep or eat. She hasn’t lost any time since their last session, but who knows when it will happen again? He says he understands; this process can really take a toll. She wonders if the man she can’t see is her father, and whoever it is, is that person still a threat to someone? She feels like they should figure out these answers as soon as possible. Please. She wouldn’t ask if she wasn’t desperate. He says he’ll cancel his appointment, and she comes in, closing the door behind her.

Jordan says she doesn’t want to jump to conclusions, especially since the hook used in Ava’s attack wasn’t poisoned… Portia says, Jordan thinks it’s the same assailant, and Jordan says, The Invader’s anonymous well-placed source seems to think so, but it’s too soon to say. A serial killer may have as few as two victims, but they’re usually defined by a cooling off period between attacks. These were very close together. Finn wonders why a perpetrator would use different methods in attacks, and Jordan says, in her analysis, whoever did this was disappointed that Ava survived, so they upped the ante to make sure their next victim didn’t. Portia says, all this pleasant chatter has given her the need to check on her daughter. Don’t worry. She won’t mention any details of the case. She wants Trina to be able to sleep at night. She leaves, and Jordan tells Finn, they’re dealing with a violent repeat offender. His modus operandi is growing more lethal. Which is why she believes whoever furnished the quote to The Invader was simply trying to warn the public. Finn says, all any of them want is to mitigate risk and injury, and she says, of course (🍷), but crucial information needs to be kept under wraps. This helps them separate the lunatics who confess from the real perpetrators that might want to toy with them. He says, they got phony confessions? and she says, since The Invader article, but they don’t know about the venom on the hook. He says, nor will they. He doesn’t want to compromise her investigation. She says, they’re all worried about their families, and he says, he imagines this hits pretty close to home. He’s seen TJ and Brando around the hospital. They got in a fight in the hallway one day, but they seemed to have gotten pretty friendly, so he guesses they worked it out. She supposes they did, and says, seeing a young man so close in age to her son, cut down in the prime of his life, makes it personal for her.

Carly says, she and Peyton can continue to escalate, or they can search for some common ground. Why doesn’t Peyton let Carly buy her a drink, and they can discuss this? Peyton asks if Carly is sure she can afford it, and Carly says, excuse me? Peyton says, they have Google here in Jacksonville too. It was nice, the hotel Carly used to own; the kinds that would attract visitors. She imagines at some point, Carly was even a leader in Port Charles society, someone who would understand the need for civic improvement. Look how the mighty have fallen. She tells the bartender to get the lady what she wants – it’s on her tab – and she leaves.

Sonny says he wants to discuss something with Nina; she needs security until they catch the guy. She says she’s fine, and he says, famous last words. She asks if she can just hire her own security, and he says, she’ll have to do a background check anyway, so just humor him. Drew comes by, and says he tried Carly again; still no answer. Sonny thanks him for trying, and Drew says, of course (🍷). He’ll see them around. He leaves, and Nina tells Sonny, he never said if he talked to Mia. Sonny says, it’s none of their business, and she says, she knows it isn’t, but Sasha is her business and she’s worried about her. He says, so is he. She’s gone through so much, and now Brando is gone. She says, Sasha needs all of their support, and he says, if Sasha needs anything, he’s here for her. Nina says, part of Sasha’s support team is Carly. So does he know when she’s going to come back from Aruba? His phone rings, and he says, let’s find out right now. He answers, and says he’s been trying to get ahold of her; he was worried. Where is she… Nina gets up to leave, and Sonny tells her, take one of the guys with her. She goes out the door, and I have the feeling she’s going to ignore that request.

Maxie says, Brook has no idea where Lucy is headed, and Valentin says, thanks for checking. Maxie tells them, Brook did say Lucy tweeted something about twenty minutes ago – follow your stars, accompanied with a jack-o-lantern emoji. Not a pumpkin, a jack-o-lantern, with no stars, in September, a month before Halloween. What does that even mean? Anna says she doesn’t know, and thanks Maxie. Valentin says, she’s been a big help. They jet, and Maxie says, Halloween… hmm.

Lucy tells Victor that Valentin is a brilliant strategist, and she’s so fortunate to be working with him. She also thinks he’s extremely handsome, and charming, and savvy, and sometimes a tad bit ruthless. She can certainly see where he gets that from. She bets Victor is so proud of him. Victor says, Valentin does take after him in some respects, but he’s afraid even family can disappoint. Lucy says, that’s horrible. She doesn’t see how Valentin could possibly disappoint him. That’s sad. He says, one would assume blood engenders unwavering loyalty, but sadly that’s not always the case, which is why it’s so important to forge other bonds; with her, for instance. He brings a covered try over to the table, and she says she couldn’t possibly eat another morsel, but she could use a power walk to work off all this amazing, delicious food. Will they be heading back to dry land soon? He says he certainly hopes not. Their afternoon is just getting started. He lifts the cover, and opens a box with a beautiful bracelet inside.  

On the phone, Maxie tells James, that was his Halloween costume last year. A pirate will be so much more fun… Of course (🍷) he can wear a fake parrot. Nina comes in, and she asks if they can talk about it later. His Aunt Nina just got here. Nina says, fake parrot? and Maxie says, like Nina has ever said no to James. They hug, and Nina says, never. She needs Maxie’s opinion. Maxie says, fall fashions, she’s Nina’s gal. Advice on her love life? Nina should know better. Nina says, no. She’s been trying to figure out the best way to help Sasha. Maxie says, in that case, she’s the last person Nina should talk to.

Sonny says, if Carly is in Jacksonville, why did she take so long to respond to her messages? She says she left her phone on the plane, and he says, she knows their numbers. Why didn’t she borrow a phone? She says she called Josslyn, and figured everybody else could wait until she got her replacement phone. What’s going on? Is everything okay with Donna and Avery? He says, the girls are fine. Brando isn’t.

Finn tells Jordan, in the spirit of full disclosure, it’s kind of personal for him too. She asks, how so? and he says, when he was just out of medical school, he accepted a Doctors Without Borders post near the Canary Islands. She says, Malaysia? That’s a very remote location, and he says, it is. He was with his wife, his late wife Reiko; she was also a doctor. They both felt very strongly that they could do some good work there. While they were on the island, a good friend, a good doctor, died a very painful death from a snake bite. So what they discovered about Brando brought it all back up.

Doc asks if the person is still there at the top of the stairs, and Elizabeth, now under hypnosis, says, yes. He says, can she see their face? and in her mind, she looks up to the next landing, but the man’s face is in the shadow. She says, not clearly, and he says, in their last session, she told him that she might know the woman at the bottom of the stairs. Can Elizabeth try to see her face again? Take her time. In her mind, she goes down the stairs, and looks closer at the woman, and Doc says, is she moving? She says, no. She still can’t see her face. He asks if she can get closer; try to see her face now… Elizabeth…?

Valentin hops over the railing of the Haunted Star, and then helps Anna. He asks, what it was they just took? and she says, it was a zodiac. He says, okay. Does she know who’s zodiac they took? She says she knows people, and he says, really? They grabbed it so quickly, he assumed they had no permission. She says, he sounds disappointed, and he says he is a little. She promises they’ll steal a boat next time. She’s really worried about Lucy. He says, his father is a despicable person, capable of horrible acts, but he’s not going to take advantage of Lucy, because he’s the type who prefers his conquests surrender to him. She says, eww! Does he honestly think Victor sailed Lucy out into the open waters with her permission? He says he thinks it’s a grand romantic gesture. As long as Victor hasn’t discovered Lucy’s deception, she’ll be fine. She says, his father is like a bloodhound, sniffing out people’s weaknesses, and Lucy… He says, practically advertises hers, and Anna says, he’s perfectly capable of exploiting her worst instincts.

Victor puts the bracelet on Lucy (it is gorgeous), and she says, it’s staggering. It’s simply stunning, and shiny, and sparkly, and some other S word. What has she done to deserve this? He says, that remains to be seen, and she says, oh. She’s not sure what kind of impression he has of her, but she’s had a colorful, imperfect past – a real page turner, if she does say so herself. But she was always, and still will be, always a lady. he says, without question. He apologizes if he implied otherwise, or if his intentions appeared anything other than… She says, honorable? and he asks her to accept this gift as merely a tangible token of the alliance they’re about to forge together. She says, an alliance, do tell, and he leans forward. He says he’s sure she’s noticed by now, he’s not a man who does things in half measures, including his plans for the future. She says, what kind of plans? and he says, something big is coming. One might even say, earth shattering. She says, tell her, is he going to be the man steering the ship, so to speak? and he tells her, let him say this right now. They’re heading into rough waters, and the only way to save all the souls on board is with him at the helm. He was hoping his ship would be crewed by fellow Cassadines, but it seems they can’t be relied upon. He needs a first mate, and thinks it could be her.

Portia asks Jordan if there’s anything else she can do to help regarding Brando’s case, and Jordan says, no, but she wanted to thank Portia for requesting the tox screen. Without it, they wouldn’t have determined Brando’s cause of death. Portia says she’s just glad she followed her instincts. Jordan says, this latest but of information is so distinct; it’s like a signature. Hopefully, it will help them identify who the killer is. Portia says, if there’s anything else she can do… and Jordan says she’ll let Portia know. Portia says, whatever it takes to get to the truth, and Jordan says she’s glad to hear they’re both on the side of truth.

Doc tells Elizabeth to answer him. Does she want to end this session? In her mind, she moves closer to the woman. The woman’s hair is covering her face, and Elizabeth bends down. Doc says he’s going to count backwards from five. When he gets to one, he’ll clap his hands, and she’ll wake. She kneels next to the woman. Five… four… three… two… Elizabeth reaches to move the woman’s hair. One. Doc claps, and Elizabeth opens her eyes. He says, nod if she’s with him, and she does. He says, she gave him a bit of a start. Is she okay? She says she knows exactly what she needs to do, and jets.

Maxie says, lately, all she’s done is hurt Sasha, not help her, and Nina asks how she can say that. Maxie says, things started going downhill when Lucy decided it would be best for Deception if Sasha took a major step back, especially as spokesmodel. She’s not blaming Lucy; she’s blaming herself. She wasn’t on fully board with the idea, but she went along with it. Nina says, they all know Sasha needs more help than she’s willing to accept, so maybe not having to focus on work is a good thing. Maxie says, yeah, but that’s not why they did it. They did it for the bottom line, not to help their friend. Yes, Sasha needs help, but what if the help she needs is a purpose, not a kiss-off? Nina says, she didn’t kiss Sasha off, and Maxie asks how Nina knows that. Nina says she knows Maxie. She doesn’t kiss people off. Maxie says, even so, they professionally pushed Sasha away when she personally needed them most. She wasn’t there at the meeting; Lucy had to do it alone. Sasha was so upset, she had another public meltdown. So now, on top of losing a child not even a year ago, Sasha lost Brando. How many times can this poor woman’s heart be shattered?

On the phone, Carly says, poor Sasha, and Gladys. How are they doing? Sonny says, devastated. They’re all doing the best they can to take care of them. Carly says, it doesn’t make sense. Brando was one of the good guys. She’s so sorry. She knows how close Brando and Sonny were becoming, and how much they both loved Mike. Sonny says, at least they’re together now, and she says, first Ava, now Brando; why? He says, Jordan thinks this nutjob might be targeting people close to him, and she says, what? She’s on the first flight home. He says, no, she’s not.

Elizabeth gets out her sketchpad, and begins to draw.

Finn looks at pictures of him and Violet on his phone. He scrolls through his photos, until he gets to a picture of himself with another man and a woman. He frowns.

Elizabeth finishes sketching, and it’s the woman in the picture with Finn. Hayden maybe?

Nina says, Maxie couldn’t have known this was going to happen. She’s been helping Sasha through this really tough period. Maxie says, but everything she does seems to make matters worse because of this company. She feels so cold-blooded. Nina says, look at it this way; she’s protecting Sasha’s livelihood during this crisis. Maxie says, there’s got to be something else she could do to help; something to show she actively supports Sasha. Nina says, there is. Do whatever Sasha needs, even if Sasha pushes her away. Maxie says, trust her. She knows what it’s like. When Nathan was killed… Nina remembers. So much needs to be done. Nina says, there’s one thing that’s going to be too difficult for Sasha and Gladys to do. Something that requires a master planner, like Maxie. Maxie says, right. This is horrible. A week ago, she was drafting a guest list for Sasha and Brando’s wedding reception. Now she’s going to use that list for his funeral.

Sonny tells Carly, the girls are safe; Josslyn too. He has around the clock security on all of them. She asks about Michael, and Sonny says, Michael gets his own security. He doesn’t need Sonny’s help, but Sonny’s looking out for him. Peyton walks into the restaurant, and Carly says, it’s really hard not coming home when there’s a homicidal maniac targeting their family. He says, she’s safer where she is, and she says she’s in Jacksonville, Florida. He says he knows he can’t stop her from coming back, and he knows she hates Jacksonville, but do him a favor. Do not come back until he gives her the all-clear. She says, he’ll keep her posted? and he says, always. She thanks him, and Peyton says, a homicidal maniac; sounds like her family needs her. It’s a pity Carly must go. Carly says she’s not going anywhere until she’s sure Virginia is going to stay where she is in that cemetery, and Peyton says, it’s not up to her. Carly gets up, and says, I know it’s been quite a few years since you knew me, Mrs. Roberts, and Peyton says, that’s no longer her name. Carly says, but she’s not impressed or intimidated by Peyton. And the one thing that hasn’t changed is, she’s still really good at raising hell. So if Peyton thinks she regretted knowing Carly then, just wait.

Lucy tells Victor, she does so love a man with plans and a vision. Can he share his nefarious plans with her? She’s excited to hear them. He’s got her curious, and she doesn’t even know what they are. He says he’d like nothing more. He just wishes he knew who he could trust. She says she did think they were building a rapport, and he says, and so they are. He pours them brandy, and says he looks forward to deepening their connection, but she has to understand, a man in his position needs to be judicious. She says, especially with his grand designs, and he says, speaking of designs… He calls Johann in, and suggests he enjoy some air outside. Johann leaves, and Victor says, alone at last.

Anna says she thinks they’ll find Valentin’s father and Lucy in the main room, and Valentin says, unless they find them in a stateroom. She says, eww! and he says, she said it herself; his father’s very persuasive. They go inside, and Anna asks if he thinks they should split up. They suddenly run, doubling back, and going down a different hallway, Valentin shutting the deck door as they pass it. Johann comes out on the deck, drinking a beer, and suddenly, Valentin needs to sneeze. Anna puts her hand over his nose and mouth, and pushes him against the wall. Johann hears them, and takes out his gun.  

Tomorrow, Sasha wonders if she’s going to prison; Elizabeth remembers the woman at the bottom of the stairs; and Victor says, Lucy must always be honest with him, no matter what.

Southern Charm

Craig goes to the bar, and Taylor tells him to stop being a diva, and not be in such a crappy mood. At the table, Naomie says, Craig is annoying, and Austen says he wishes Naomie was his ex. Shep says, that’s nice, but also weird, and in Craig’s interview, he says he’s more irritable when Naomie is around. She’s condescending, but they broke up, and she doesn’t get to tell him anything anymore. Shep suggests they go back to the house, and they go to the girls’ (and Shep’s) rental villa. In the driveway, Craig gets Austen in a headlock, and they both fall. In Austen’s interview, he says, Craig is like a f***ing bull in a china shop. He asks Craig what’s wrong with him. Naomie sits with Shep and Taylor, and in Taylor’s interview, she says, Shep acts entitled, especially when he’s drinking. He has the mentality of a twelve-year-old. Taylor says she’s going to hang out with the others, and Shep says he doesn’t like her hanging out, but she leaves anyway. Naomie tells Shep to be nice. Taylor joins Olivia and Austen in the kitchen, and Craig calls Austen. He says he went to their room, and Austen asks if he’s sure he’s got the right one. Craig says, 383. He’s got popcorn, chips, and Doritos. He knows everyone wants to come. Tell them to come. Austen hangs up, and says, shut up, Craig. Whitney joins Shep and Naomie, and asks what they’re talking about. Naomie says, Shep and Taylor, and Whitney says, Shep needs to treat Taylor better. In Shep’s interview, he says, it’s like an ongoing saga about them, and he’s not feeding that monster. He tells Whitney, at the end of the day, we’re punished for our kindnesses, and Whitney frets over the plural of kindness, thinking it doesn’t sound right. In the kitchen, Austen says, Shep is tooting his own horn, and Olivia suggests they play a drinking game. Any time Shep says, crazy or happy, they take a drink. Austen says, they don’t have enough alcohol. Shep tells Whitney, this is crazy. Everyone has an opinion. Whitney says, Shep is deflecting, and just when Olivia adds done to the drinking game, Shep says he’s done. Whitney says he’s just trying to help Shep navigate, but Shep says he doesn’t need help. Whitney begs to differ, but Shep says, he’s happy, happy, happy. Leave him alone. In Shep’s interview, he says, they’re like piranhas taking chunks from them. He tells Whitney, it’s driving him crazy, and Naomie says she thinks it’s time to go downstairs. In her interview, she says she thinks this isn’t being constructive. Shep will just get mad, and she doesn’t want Shep mad at her. They hit 12 in the drinking game, and Shep joins Taylor in the kitchen, whispering to her that it’s sick. People are attacking him for no reason. He’s never loved anyone more than he loves her. It’s insane, and he doesn’t know what to do. Taylor says, he’s freaking out, and he says, damn right. She tells him, those are her friends; they’re his friends. Try what she does – pray – which is probably the last thing Shep wanted to hear. Austen says he can’t with the whispering, calls Shep a p*ssy, and walks out. Shep follows, yelling that he can’t believe he’s sharing oxygen with Austen; he’s an a-hole. Austen says, Shep wants to control the situation, and that’s what the whispering was about. Shep says he wasn’t whispering, and Austen says he just watched Shep whispering, as we all did. Shep asks why Austen is upset about what he does, and Olivia listens in. Austen says, Shep isn’t a bad guy, and he doesn’t want to fight. Whitney suggests Shep STFU and chill, and in Austen’s interview, he says he’s done enough being Shep’s relationship counselor. Nothing he says seems to stick, and it’s more trouble than it’s worth. Whitney says he’s out of here, and they’ll revisit this in the morning.

Leva bakes with Little, and in her interview, she says, being a control freak has served her in a lot of ways, but it’s not good for the long game. That’s what motherhood teaches a person. At this point, she’s just going to show up with what’s left of her, and get things done. In St. Simon’s, things are a mess in the morning, and Olivia wants to know if she won the bet about Naomie waking up at Whitney’s villa. Venita says she has money on this, and they go to Naomie’s room. After getting nothing out of listening at the door, Venita finally knocks, and Naomie is there. Olivia says she lost, and Naomie has no idea what she’s talking about. At the hotel, Austen tells Craig, last night was explosive. First Craig at dinner, then him with Shep. Shep was going on about how he hates everyone. Craig says, that’s what happens when you yell at your girlfriend in front of people, and Austen says he thinks Shep sees his control spiraling out of his grasp. He wants to ask Taylor to quit her job. It’s like Britney Spears dad taking control of her life. Craig says, free Taylor, and Austen says, it’s like holding on to a bird too tightly. A bird lands on their balcony, and Austen says, it’s an omen. Craig says, Shep’s  spying on them with birds.

Shep says he’s bad for Taylor, and she says he has to walk away instead of yelling. He says he feels like he’s caught in the loop of a video game, and can’t get out of a level. Taylor says, her best advice is for him to set his ego aside. Say he’s rough around the edges, but willing to change. He has to control it. Everyone thinks she’s trying to defend him, but she can only take so much; it’s his thing. Venita and Olivia start making breakfast, and Naomie comes downstairs. Shep is next, and Naomie says, she’s the only one that got a full night’s sleep. Shep says, it was an unfortunate end to the night. He points to the bottle of Maker’s Mark, and says, that didn’t help. Venita says, it’ll be fine, and Naomie asks what they’re doing. Shep says, some of them are golfing, and everyone else is going shrimping; they’re going to eat what they catch. They sit for breakfast, and Naomie says, if anyone walked in, they’d think they’re normal people. Craig says he doesn’t want to golf with Shep, and Austen says, then come shrimping. In Austen’s interview, he says he just wants to chill out for the day. He doesn’t hate Shep, but he doesn’t want to be around him. Whitney arrives, and says he looks more like he’s going squirrel hunting than shrimping or golfing. Austen and Craig ride a tandem bike over to the house, and they all leave for their activities. Shep says, he and Craig will be eating crow tonight, and Naomie says, self-awareness is difficult for Craig; he doesn’t have any. And that’s the problem.

At the Let’s Go Shrimpin’ boat, Captain Cameron welcomes them, and they meet with naturalist Jeffrey. He says, they’re going to trail the net behind the boat, and drag it, and hopefully, it will scoop up the shrimp. In Austen’s interview, he says, he’s never gone shrimping… unless he went with Chelsea. We flash back to Chelsea and Austen wading in the water with nets, and Chelsea saying, Austen sucks. They’ll have to stop at Chick-Fil-A on the way home. In his interview, Austen says, no; it was crabbing. Back on the shrimpin’ boat, Austen and Craig do a Titanic pose on the bow. In Naomie’s interview, she says she doesn’t know sh*t about golf, but her ass is not going on a boat and being stuck with Craig all day. Craig tells Olivia that Naomie will always have a place in his heart, but he hated how she put him down in front of people. Olivia says, from that perspective, his outburst makes sense, and in her interview, she says, it makes Craig derail himself. Reel it in. Craig says he was crazy to go on vacation with her, and Olivia says, 100%. Shep tells Naomie, loosey, goosey, and confident, whatever that means. Whitney asks what the plans are for tonight, and Shep says, they’re going to change and have a nice dinner. Hopefully, they caught a lot of shrimps, and they’ll have a feast. As the net is brought up, seagulls try to steal shrimp. In Venita’s interview, she says she doesn’t feel like fighting. She’s getting along with everyone, but it’s eye opening. Craig doesn’t seem to be the same Craig that Naomie is talking about. The captain gives them a bucket of shrimp when they get to the dock, and they shotgun some beers.  

Back at the house after golf, Whitney and Shep talk in the kitchen, while Naomie takes a shower. Shep says he’s pleased to observe Whitney and Naomie’s relationship, and asks if they’re seeing other people. Whitney says, no labels and no rush, and Shep says, the best thing is to remain friends. Craig is driving him crazy. Whitney says, Craig is cool and funny, and then he’s the Terror of Tiny Town, screaming at everyone. Shep says, Naomie dumped Craig, and Whitney says, so there’s the ego aspect. He feels bad for her. Shep says, him too, and Whitney leaves to get dressed. The shrimpers get back, and everyone gets dressed up. Shep says, they need to get the shrimp to the chef, and thinks they should get going; everyone is getting restless. He tells them to go to the main lobby of the hotel, and they’ll be eating on the lawn behind it. Austen and Craig stroll over, and Austen says, they’re next to the beach, but they’re dressed like they’re going to a fox hunt. There’s a beautiful, candlelit table ready for them, and they meet hostess Natasha and banquet captain Davia. Davia explains it’s a fancy name for supervisor. Whitney gives props to Shep for the floral display, and Shep wonders why it’s assumed he was in charge of the flowers. Taylor says, he’s a floral guy, but he says he’s a fun-gi. He asks if Craig has been in the food and beverage industry, and Naomie says, let’s not go back there. We flash back to Craig asking her the same question last night, and Craig says, he’d be relieved if someone said they were pregnant. Olivia says, Austen told them? and they all ask if she’s pregnant. Austen says, yes, and Olivia says, just kidding.

The first course is crab cakes paired with prosecco, and I’m in. Naomie says, Shep is getting better. He now asks before taking food off your plate. The entrée is beef strip loin, and the shrimp on skewers, using the shrimp the group caught, paired with cabernet. Olivia picks up a shrimp, and says, it’s the one she named; it’s little Jerry. Craig invites everyone to a Winter Wonderland party to celebrate his company. He’s going to have cocktail hour, a catered sit-down dinner, and dancing afterwards to a ten-piece band. It’s determined that Craig and Austen would beat anyone at The Newlywed Game, and in Olivia’s interview, she says, if Craig was a woman, she’d be jealous. She’d have a lot to worry about. Venita says, they made it halfway through dinner, and no one is screaming. Naomie says, the mood is different, and Craig is being sweet. Craig says he blew his load last night, then realizes that’s not the appropriate term to use. Whitney says, this is the Craig they love, and hopes Craig can maintain it. Craig says he’ll try to stay at the table. Shep asks if he’s inviting Madison, and Craig says he is, not to f*** with Austen, but because he thinks she doesn’t care anymore. Austen says he won’t be sitting at the same table with her, and Craig says, forgiving people is the power. Naomie says he needs to apologize for yesterday, and he says he did, last night. She tells him that he wasn’t civil with her last night; she’s just saying. In Venita’s interview, she wonders if Naomie is trying to pick a fight with Craig. Keep your sh*t together. Naomie says, Craig shouldn’t have called her a psycho ex, and say she doesn’t exist without him. It’s not nice. Craig says he’ll work on being kinder, but last night, she told him how to act in a restaurant. She says she didn’t; she said, guys… Whitney tells Craig to settle down, and Naomie says she has the tools; she’s been in therapy. Craig says he should never yell at anyone, but at the end of the day, they probably shouldn’t interact too much. She’s in his past. Shep suggests they get rid of the negative, and Venita asks if they can acknowledge that this bothered Craig. In Olivia’s interview, she says, Venita is on Craig’s side, and they’ve been friends with Naomie for decades. What is she doing? Venita says, it would be helpful if they acknowledged Craig’s feelings, and Naomie says, shut up. I laugh, and Craig tells Naomie that she’s not welcome at his party. It’s one of those moments where it’s hard to believe these people are as old as they are. Naomie says she doesn’t have to be there. Craig gets up, and says he’s sorry, but this is why they don’t hang out. It brings him to a level he doesn’t like, and he doesn’t want to act like Shep, and yell at girls. He just wants to go home. He leaves, and the table gets exceptionally quiet. Venita finally tells Naomie, she’s not saying Naomie was wrong in what she said, but she was told to shut up, so she didn’t get everything out. Naomie says, what Venita did was fake as sh*t; taking Craig’s side. Venita says, Naomie could have just said she felt hurt and didn’t appreciate that. She didn’t have to say shut up.

Venita tells Naomie not to talk to her like that, but Naomie says, she needed to shut up. Venita says, Naomie has all this class, then tells her to shut up. She gets it. In Venita’s interview, she says, she and Naomie go back ten years. They played tennis all the time, and she went through Naomie’s break-up with Metul with her. They were friends. She would never talk to anyone like that. Of all people, how dare she? The last course is dessert, a lemon fruit tart with crème something, paired with port (not my favorite; skipping dessert). In Naomie’s interview, she says she thought Venita would defend her, but she guesses Venita’s friendship with Craig is better. She’s disappointed and hurt. Shep says, they both have a point, but it’s a long standing emotional issue. Venita says, tell her not to butt in, but not shut up, and Shep says, right. Let’s forget it. Austen says, they almost got to dessert, and Olivia says, they made it longer than last night. Austen says, that’s what she said. Shep says he’ll bring Craig some pudding, and asks Austen to bring a glass of port. Austen wonders how he keeps from drinking it on the way. In Olivia’s interview, she says, it would be easier to enjoy these trips if they could figure it out, but she’s still having fun… ish.

Back at the villa, Venita tells Olivia that she doesn’t want Naomie thinking she’s taking Craig’s side. She just wants Naomie to apologize, so they can be done with it. Naomie comes in, and Venita says, sit next to her.

Craig tells Shep and Austen that the Naomie factor shouldn’t be a factor. He doesn’t like acting like that. Shep says, they all have breaking points, and they’ve all seen each other break. Austen tells Craig not to let Naomie dictate his sh*t, and Craig asks, what happened after he left? Shep says, Naomie and Venita got into it. He wants no more yelling and craziness. Venita tells Naomie that she wasn’t saying Naomie was wrong; she thought Naomie was right. She was just saying, calm down. Craig’s feelings were hurt, and there’s nothing wrong with that. Naomie says, okay, but in her interview, she says, so much for loyalty. Olivia says, it’s okay. She thought they were friends. She hopes they are.

Next time – the finale – Patricia smokes a cham(pagne) bong; Shep tells Taylor that he wants to…; Craig’s Winter Wonderland party happens; and Craig says he’ll have security escort Leva out.

🥼 Putting On My Coat Of One Color…

Make a return appearance tomorrow for soap, a variety of tea and quotes, and music to soothe your soul. Until then, stay safe, stay emotionally intelligent, and stay always asking before you take the food off of someone’s plate.