What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

General Hospital

Nina sits on a bench in the park, and Sonny startles her from behind. She tells him, Halloween is over; she’s not going to be so forgiving about being scared. He sits next to her, and says he’s sorry. Tell him how he can make it right. She slides closer to him, and says she can think of a few ways. She asks how it went with Josslyn, and he says, no matter how much attitude she throws at him, he’s always going to look out for Josslyn and her mother. He went there to help, but it turns out, Carly had all the help she needed.

Elsewhere in the park, Wiley throws around leaves. Michael tells Willow, they buy all these toys for Wiley, and he’s happy playing with the leaves. I feel his pain, since I’ve bought a lot of pet toys for pets who would rather play with the boxes. Willow says, somehow, she doesn’t think that gets them out of Christmas shopping this year, and Michael says, Christmas is almost here (thanks for the reminder), and before they know it, Wiley’s little brother or sister will be here. Again, he’s sorry he missed her appointment. She says, he can stop apologizing, and he says he definitely won’t miss this one. She says, her appointment isn’t until this afternoon, so they should focus on this good day while they can. He asks what she means by that.

Elizabeth goes into her house, followed by Terry, who says, home, sweet home, and Elizabeth says, the cliché is true in her case; you can’t go home. What is she going to say to Finn? Cameron comes downstairs, and says he wasn’t expecting her until tomorrow. How was the trip? Was the time away everything she needed?

Esme checks out the windows in the north tower. She sees one she thinks she can pry open, but wonders where the ledge would take her. It looks awfully narrow. Nikolas walks in, and asks what she thinks she’s doing.

Laura comes to Anna’s cell, and Anna asks, what happened? Valentin and Charlotte… Laura suggests Anna see for herself, and Valentin comes in. He and Anna kiss through the bars.

In Robert’s office, Holly gets a text from Victor: what have you learned about the ADA’s case against Anna? and she looks like she has a headache. Robert comes in, and says he’s sorry to have kept her waiting. They’re going to have to reschedule lunch. She asks if there are any leads on Lucy’s case. They can work together just like old times.

Victor looks at Holly’s reply: Still gathering intel. Standby. He sighs and says, his patience is wearing thin.

Esme tells Nikolas that she’s trying to get some fresh air. It’s supposed to be healthy for their baby. He says he knows what she was trying to do. The windows are sealed for a reason. It would be dangerous for her to climb out on that very narrow ledge, but she was hoping to force an opening, and maybe her voice would carry. Not to the mainland of course (🍷), but she thought maybe one of the staff would hear her. She says, he caught her; guilty as sin. He says, the staff is paid handsomely to look the other way in awkward situations, and that’s exactly what they’ll do. She asks what his endgame is, and he says, she tried to kill Ava and Diane Miller. She did kill Brando Corbin and Oz Haggerty. Poor Brando was just in the wrong place at the wrong time, and Oz Haggerty made the poor choice of selling her a black market phone, and that decision cost him his life. She says, she is not The Hook. How many times does she have to tell him that? He says, the attacks have stopped since he locked her up in here.

Nina tells Sonny, she’s glad the Halloween festivities went on as scheduled, but everyone must have had those attacks on their mind. She knows she did. She’s glad the city hired extra security. There hasn’t been a new attack in weeks, right? Is it too much to hope it might be over? (Yes.) He says he doesn’t think Josslyn or her friends are going to find any comfort until that lunatic is caught, and she says she knows he wants to be there for his family and Josslyn, even though Josslyn’s not officially his stepdaughter, and that’s going to be hard for him to pull off. Carly doesn’t want her to be around Donna. He asks what she’s saying, and she tells him, she’s saying she loves him, but if she needs to step back until this threat is over, that’s what she’s going to do.

Wiley moves on to blowing bubbles, and Willow tells Michael that she’s sorry. She didn’t mean to make it sound so dramatic. She just meant, they’re expanding from a trio to a quartet. Wiley’s not going to be an only child anymore, and who knows how he’ll react to that? So on this beautiful fall day, let’s just take this all in. He says, that’s a good way of looking at things. He and Morgan didn’t always get along as kids, so they have to expect that some days Wiley and his younger sibling will love each other; other days, not so much. But their kids will have each other, and have them. That’s all that matters, right?

Finn looks at Elizabeth’s contact info in his phone, when Heather is wheeled out. She says, well, well, well, if it isn’t my favorite brooding MD. Tell her, what’s the reason for that fine scowl on his handsome face? Not that she’s complaining; she likes a good scowl. It usually means the sex is gonna be hot, and maybe even a little rough. She winks at him, and he asks what she’s talking about. She says, stop clutching your pearls, grandma. She’s found the only good thing about people thinking she’s crazy is, it gives her the freedom to say anything she likes. He says, for the record, this isn’t his brooding face; this is his happy face. It’s his extremely happy face because he’s giving her the all-clear, and she can be shipped back to D’Archam. She says, please, tell her that he’ll be giving her a personal inspection, top to bottom, and he says, tempting as that may be, his associates will be handling things. She says, such a shame. From their talk the other day, she had the feeling there was something he wanted to ask her. Speak now, Dr. Dreamboat, or forever hold your peace.

Elizabeth tells Cameron that she’s glad she went to Monterey, but she’s even more grateful to be home with the people she loves. He says, all that from going to a spa while Terry’s at a medical conference? and she asks if he doesn’t have a class this afternoon. He says he does, but he left a book; he’d better grab it. He’s really happy she’s home. He goes upstairs, and Terry says, Elizabeth already told her what went down at her parents’ house, but still hasn’t told her how she’s feeling about it. Elizabeth says, she’s angry. What’s beyond anger? Fury? Rage? Terry says, it’s understandable, and Elizabeth says she feels so betrayed by what her parents did. She was in a desperate state, and somehow her dad used that to justify covering up his affair, and her mom used her psychiatric training to keep her from remembering. She went looking for answers, and now that she has them, she feels violated. She has to ask herself, was it worth it?

Anna says she was worried when she didn’t hear from Valentin. She thought maybe Victor made him disappear the way he did Lucy. Valentin says, not yet anyway. Charlotte’s home safe. Laura and Doc helped him bring Charlotte back to Port Charles. He thinks Victor knew he and Anna were working together, and that’s why Victor got him out of the country; so he could deal with Anna with no interference. She says, that’s what it looks like, and asks where Charlotte is now. Laura joins them, and says, Charlotte is at her apartment with Doc; she has security watching them. Charlotte will be staying with them for a while. Anna thanks her, and Valentin says he owes Laura, but Laura says she’s just glad everyone is all right.

Robert says, he and Holly made an incredible team back in the day, and she says, they still could. Does he have more details he can share with her? Ashby walks in, and says, what the hell, Scorpio? He says, and a good day to her too, and she says she’s been hearing rumors that he’s placing calls to his connections – wardens, judges, state attorneys – asking them all about Anna’s case, and trying to get her bail. He says, it’s perfectly normal for him to talk to public officials, and Ashby says, that’s a line of bull, and he knows it. He’s trying to pull strings and call in favors for his ex-wife. He says he recused himself from Anna’s case, and Ashby says, while he tries to work the system on her behalf. She’s warning him. If he doesn’t back down, she’ll demand his resignation.  

Sonny tells Nina, he hopes she’s not saying she’s walking away from him after everything they’ve been through, but she says, she’s not walking away. She’s just saying, she knows his kids are his priority. He says, right, but he and Carly have an understanding, and she says, about her? She highly doubts it. He says, Carly knows he’s not walking away from her, and she says she sure hopes he’s right.

TJ sees Willow and Michael, and says, gorgeous day. Michael agrees, when his phone rings, and he says, it’s work; he’s got to take it. He steps away, and TJ says, he’s guessing by Michael’s upbeat mood, Willow hasn’t told him that she has leukemia. She says she’s going to, after she gets Terry’s results today. Maybe it will all work out… or it won’t. She just hopes Michael understands where it’s coming from, even if she’s not here to explain it to him. He says, she just started the fight. What does she sound like she’s already given up?

Esme says, Nikolas thinks he has her all figured out, and he says he does. She can yell all she wants, but all she’ll get is a sore throat, because up here, no one can hear you scream. He leaves, locking the door behind him, and she screams.

Laura says, Lucy is missing and presumed dead? Her brother is beside himself, thinking he’s never going to see her again. Anna says, but they can’t be sure. Her body hasn’t been found. She even hates saying that; it scares her. All the evidence points to Lucy’s death. Valentin says, it points toward Anna, and Anna says, thanks to his father. Laura says, no doubt it was Victor who put Eileen up to arranging for the tourism drone to be flying over the waterfront, shooting footage at precisely the right moment. Anna says, but it wasn’t her; she wasn’t there. She didn’t fire the shots. She heard them from Pier 47, and came running. That footage of her shooting Lucy is completely fake. Laura says she knows, and she’s going to let the public know they have the wrong suspect. She leaves, and Anna tells Valentin, she appreciates the effort, but there really isn’t much Laura can do. Valentin tells her not to worry. He’s going to get her out. She asks, how? They’re transferring her to Pentenville tonight.

On the phone with Johann, Victor says, it seems the necklace in Britt Westbourne’s possession could be what they’ve been looking for all along, but he needs confirmation. If this necklace is what he thinks it is, then they’re about to begin the final act. Nikolas walks in, and Victor says, they’ll talk soon. Nikolas asks why he’s here, and Victor says he thought he’d drop by and say hello, and pick out his room, since he’ll be moving in shortly. Nikolas says, Victor should have called or texted first, and Victor says he’s sorry. Is his unexpected visit a problem? Why does he get the feeling Nikolas is trying to get rid of him?

Holly says, obviously there’s been a misunderstanding, but Robert disagrees. Eileen is just trying to throw her weight around. The point is, Eileen can’t force him to resign because he’s an elected official. Ashby says, the election is only days away. Does he think he’ll still be a shoo-in if the city’s mayor goes public with these allegations? He says he has another bulletin for her; she’s not the mayor. Ashby says, no, but she’ll continue to run things her way until Mayor Collins decides to grace this city with her presence again. Laura walks in, and says, here I am, gracing you.

Heather says, if she remembers correctly, Finn was looking all flustered right before he put her into a twilight slumber, just because she brought up her ex, Jeff Webber. He is the father of Finn’s bimbo. Finn must have so many questions about him. Finn says he doubts he’d get any straight and/or coherent answers from her, and she admits she doesn’t know anything about the current Jeff Webber’s life; she hasn’t seen him in years. But what is that saying? A leopard can’t change its spots? She’s guessing the Jeff Webber she knew is probably a lot like the man he is today. She’ll give Finn this much for free. Jeff Webber projects a beautiful image; square jaw, strong principles, heroic. Yet he’d always think with his other scalpel, if Finn catches her drift. Finn says, it’s hard to miss, and she says, that was always the problem with Jeff. He was convinced of his moral superiority and would deny any of his shortcomings, then gaslight you, so ne never had to take any responsibility for his own actions. You might say, it’s enough to drive someone crazy. She laughs.

Elizabeth says she can’t even imagine how her parents justified what they did, and Terry says, they thought they were helping her. That doesn’t make it right, but at least Elizabeth knows the truth now. Elizabeth asks how that’s better than being in the dark. She hurt Finn’s first wife. Terry says, Elizabeth didn’t kill Reiko. Blackwood’s did, which she contracted at the hospital after the fall. Elizabeth says, a fall she caused, but Terry says, twenty-five years ago, that virus was all over the region. Reiko could have picked it up a million other ways, just by living there. Elizabeth says, but she didn’t. Reiko’s dead because of her. That’s what this is about. Her subconscious has been trying to protect her from this truth. She thought she couldn’t handle it, and neither did her parents. Unconsciously, she was pushing Finn away so she wouldn’t remember, and now she does. Terry says, this is going to be really hard, but she’s going to be with Elizabeth every step of the way when she tells Finn. Elizabeth is planning on telling him, isn’t she? Elizabeth says she can’t be with him and keep this secret. Maybe that’s her answer; maybe she shouldn’t be with him. Maybe he’s better off never knowing than dredging up this painful past. Terry asks, how does that make Elizabeth any different from her parents?

Valentin says he thought they had more time than that, but Anna says, the judge thinks she’s a flight risk. That’s why she was denied bail. He says, she’s in law enforcement. If they put her in high security, her life is at risk. She says she thinks that’s the point. If Ashby had a role in this, that’s the point. He asks how she’s doing, but she says she doesn’t know. She keeps thinking about this evidence they have against her, the footage of her shooting Lucy; how it’s a deepfake that can’t hold up in court. He says, no. He means, with everything she’s going through, how is she feeling? She says, Victor’s just picking them off, one by one; Luke, Lucy, now her. To what end? What is he doing? What is he protecting? Valentin says he doesn’t know. Victor never trusted him long enough to reveal his master plan, but he does know, whatever illusions of collaboration there were, are gone now that Charlotte is free. They need to focus on Anna’s current situation. She says, there’s going to be a target on her back when she’s in Pentenville. It’s going to be so easy for Victor to take her out once she’s there. He should just do it here. If Ashby’s on the take, why not a guard? He says he’s not going to let that happen, and she says, he can’t promise that, but he says he can. He told her that he has a plan. Does she trust him? She takes his hand, and says she trusts him.

Ashby says she didn’t know Laura was back, and Laura says, obviously. She’s not happy to hear about Ashby’s falling out with their District Attorney. Robert has a long history of service to the city of Port Charles, longer than Ashby. The people of Port Charles trust him, and so does she. Ashby says, of course (🍷), and Laura turns to Holly, saying, she’s thrilled to see the reports of Holly’s death were greatly exaggerated. They hug, and Holly says, it’s good to be back. Laura says, Robert kept believing Holly was out there somewhere after a lot of people had given up. Robert says he should have held out longer. He learned his lesson. Laura says she’s sure if Luke were here, he’d also be relieved to see Holly was all right. Holly says she still can’t believe Luke went out that way, and Laura says, it will never make sense, will it? She’s sure Holly is tired of trying to explain, but she has to ask. What happened? Where has she been for the past two years? Robert says, Holly’s memory’s still a bit foggy. He’s been trying to get her to see a doctor, but she’s giving him the runaround. Laura says she’s sure Doc would be happy to help Holly get to the bottom of this, but Holly says, that won’t be necessary. Laura assures her that Doc is an expert at helping people work their way through trauma, and Holly angrily tells Laura, I said no.

Willow tells TJ, she’s not giving up. She’s going to fight to be here for Wiley and this new baby. He says, no matter what, she won’t be doing it alone, and they hug. Nina and Sonny come along, and Sonny says, they don’t mean to interrupt, but they saw Wiley… Wiley runs up, hugging them, but Willow pulls him away, saying, now is not the time, but she’s sure Wiley would like to see his grandfather if he has free time over the weekend. Sonny says, come on, but Nina says, that’s a great idea; they should go now. He tells her, if she says so, but why does she want to go so soon? She says, let’s go now, and Michael strides over, asking if everything is all right here. Sonny asks why it wouldn’t be, and Nina says, they were just leaving. Have a good day.

Esme opens the window, and says, maybe she can slide across the ledge, use something to smash the window, and climb into the next room. If only there was a rope, or something she could tie herself to… She looks at the bedding, and says, these sheets might just do.

Nikolas says he’s been distracted, and Victor says, by the construction or by Ava? It doesn’t matter. What does matter is that Nikolas focuses his attention. Something big is coming for this family. It’s important, more now than ever, that they present a united front. Nikolas says, all right, enough. He’s so sick of these self-aggrandizing speeches. Victor doesn’t trust him enough to give him the details of his plan, so it’s a hard pass if this is just going to be another one of his cryptic soliloquies. If Victor doesn’t have anything real or substantial to tell him, just go.

Heather says, Finn’s not shackled. He could have walked out at any time, yet he hasn’t. So clearly he’s intrigued. She’s happy to answer any of his questions, but first, they need to discuss terms. He says he’s not interested in old information; it’s of no use to him. Valentin gets out of the elevator, and Finn tells the orderly, take the patient to room 1002 to see Dr. Guerra. As she’s wheeled away, Heather says, no. He can’t quit on her now. Her information might be old, but it’s still relevant. Valentin says, trouble? but Finn says, just like any other day that ends in Y. What does he want? Valentin says, that plan they discussed while he was en route back to Port Charles? They need to move up the timeline. Anna is being transferred to Pentenville tonight.

Holly sits down, and Robert asks if she’s okay. She says she’s so sorry. It’s just a lot to process the last few days. Laura says she bets it is. She needs to check in with her family, but she’ll be back in her office later, and Eileen can fill her in on what she missed. She asks Robert to walk out with her, and they leave. Ashby asks Holly, what the hell is she doing? She almost got them both caught.

In the hallway, Laura says she’s going to need more details about Holly’s return, and Robert says, such as? She says, nobody knows how she got here. She just randomly showed up one day at the Quartermaine house, after having been missing for two years, and with memory loss. Robert asks where they’re going with this, and she says she knows he doesn’t want to hear this from her, but is it possible Holly’s not telling him everything?

Michael asks Willow, what did he walk in on? Was Nina trying to get to spend time with Wiley? Willow says, Sonny and Nina were just walking through the park. Their paths crossed, but surprisingly, Nina knew her place, and encouraged Sonny to walk away. Her phone dings, and she says, it’s Melanie. She’s having car trouble, and she’ll be late meeting them in the park. He says, they’ll never make Willow’s appointment if they have to wait. They’ll just bring Wiley. She says, no… It would be so boring for him. She asks TJ if he’s heading to the hospital, and he says he is. She asks if she can go with him. Michael can meet her there after Melanie arrives. Michael says, fine, and she says she’ll see him in a bit, and leaves with TJ.

Sonny says he’s surprised Nina backed off so quickly. It was like she needed to get out of there as fast as she could. She says, he knows how his family reacts when she’s around, and it’s becoming really painful for her to hold out hope that she’s going to have any kind of friendly relationship with certain members of his family. He asks what she isn’t telling him, and she says, forget it. It’s none of her business. He says, tell him, and she says, it’s possible something’s going on with Willow and TJ, and he says, like what? An affair?

Valentin says he doesn’t have to tell Finn what’s at stake, and Finn says, it’s already been handled. Valentin walks away, and Terry comes out of the elevator. Finn says, welcome back. How was the medical conference? Better yet, how was the spa? Terry says, it was exactly what they needed, and he says, they didn’t keep her too busy? She says, they had more than enough time, and he says he knows there was no conference. He doesn’t need answers. He’s just concerned about their friend. Is there anything he needs to be worried about? She says, Elizabeth is home. If he wants answers, Elizabeth can give them to him. She goes on her way.

Cameron asks if Terry left, and Elizabeth says, she had to go to work. He asks if she has a couple of minutes to talk, and she says, of course (🍷). What’s up? He says, it’s something kind of important, and he’d rather she hear it from him first before she hears it from someone else. She says, it sounds serious, and he says, Finn already knows about it and said he wouldn’t tell her, but Josslyn stayed the night. He knows she said that wasn’t allowed, and he’s very sorry. She says, okay, and thanks him for telling her. She guesses things are better between the two of them? He says, things are great. They’re back on track… except… Now Joss is kind of on lockdown because the PCPD thinks she was the intended target of the Brando attack. She says, what? and he says, Commissioner Ashford has this theory that The Hook has been targeting people related to Trina’s trial. He tried calling her about this, and didn’t want to leave it on voicemail, but Sonny’s has some men outside the house. She says, as soon as he goes to school, she’s going to call Dante, and remind her to never go away again. He asks if something happened in Monterey. She and Terry seem off. She says she saw her parents. It was a lot. He asks if she’s okay, but she says she doesn’t really want to talk about it. She does feel better being home with her boys and her chosen family; people she knows she can depend on and trust. He says, even though he lied about Joss sleeping over? and she says she appreciates him telling her the truth. She knows it wasn’t easy. He says, it’s better to fess up than let things fester, but he has to go to school. They’ll talk later. He leaves, and Elizabeth looks at a framed photo of her and Finn.

Robert says, let’s not forget, Holly is the victim here, and Laura says she’s sure he’s right… and it’s not that unusual for someone to suffer memory loss after a traumatic experience. But they both know, Holly has been known to get mixed up with some pretty unsavory people in the past. He says he’s under no illusions about who Holly is, but he trusts her with his life. Laura says, and she trusts Robert with hers, and he says, he knows he’s said it a hundred times, but it’s good to have her back. They hug, she thanks him, and she leaves.

Holly says she has no idea what Ashby is talking about, and Ashby says she doesn’t know if Holly is a hired gun or a true believer, but she does know they’re both working for Victor Cassadine. And he calls the shots. Robert walks in

Victor says, perhaps he’s been too judgmental about Nikolas’s dedication to this family. After all, anyone could be distracted by love, and Nikolas’s loyalty has been unwavering. Perhaps he’s been so focused on making his son more trustworthy, he’s overlooked the real heir apparent standing right in front of him. Perhaps he should let Nikolas into the inner circle, and let him know what all this has really been about. Please. Let somebody in. We’ve been hearing about this big thing that’s happening forever.

Nina says she shouldn’t have told Sonny, and he says, she did. Now she has to explain it. He’s known TJ since he was a little boy, and he’s not the type. She says she’s sorry to interrupt him, but they both know good people can make hurtful decisions. It’s just that ever since Willow’s graduation, whenever she’s seen TJ and Willow together, they’re embracing. They’re always whispering to each other, nobody else is around, there’s tears. It’s just a vibe she’s getting. She also understands it’s entirely possible she’s wrong. That’s partly why she didn’t want to tell him. He asks, what’s the other reason? and she says, if she’s right, she wouldn’t want to put him in a position to tell Michael. He says, that’s what they’re not going to do. They’re going to stay out of this. Michael doesn’t need to know any of it, and he’s not joking. In perfect soap timing, Michael comes along, and says, he doesn’t need to know about what?  

In Terry’s office, TJ takes Willow’s hand, and says, she’s got this. Terry comes in, and thanks Willow for waiting. She hopes it wasn’t too long. Willow says she asked TJ to stay with her until Michael gets here, and Terry says, of course (🍷). Willow asks if Terry has seen the scans Britt ordered, and Terry says, she has. They confirmed that Willow’s liver and spleen are enlarged, and her platelet count is down considerably. Willow says, and that means…? and Terry says, her leukemia is now in Stage IV.

There’s a knock at Elizabeth’s door, and she opens it to Finn.

Esme knots the sheets together like a convict in an old cartoon, and says, I don’t know if this is going to work, Ace (I guess she’s named the baby out of boredom), but it’s better than nothing.

Nikolas says, whenever Victor is ready, tell him about his plan, but Victor’s phone rings. He says, sorry, and answers, saying, what is it?… Charlotte’s gone? Who did she leave with?… Laura walks in, and says, hello, Victor. Aren’t you going to welcome me home? Victor looks stunned.

Robert tells Holly, sorry to leave her. He and Laura had some city business to discuss. Ashby says she’s glad it was convenient for Laura this time, and leaves. Holly says, Laura wasn’t talking city business, was she? She got the sense Laura was doubting her. Robert says, Laura is less inclined to trust Holly, given her history with Luke, but he trusts her. Holly says, that’s all that matters to her, and hugs him.

A guard comes to Anna’s cell, and she asks if he’s there to take her to Pentenville. He says, you’re not going to Pentenville.

Tomorrow, Britt asks if Sam knows where the necklace came from; Elizabeth tells Finn that she knows what happened on the stairs; Sonny tells Michael to be careful what he says next; and Heather says, they have time to catch up.

Below Deck Mediterranean

Għadira Bay, Malta. Natalya says she’s tired, and Tasha says, they haven’t even scratched the surface of the boat. In Tasha’s interview, she says, everyone is exhausted. It’s overwhelming the amount of work to be done. The preference sheet meeting waits for no one, and Captain Sandy radios Tasha, Storm, and Dave.

The captain says, they made it to number nine, the final charter. That actually sounds like a good name for a horror film; Number Nine; The Final Charter. The primaries are Josh and his daughter Sydney, who are partners in an investment company, and they’re bringing along business associates; some of which are professional football players. Tasha reads that the guests want a casino party, and Dave says, they want a surf and turf dinner. Captain Sandy says, the guests are boarding on anchor at 12 o’clock, due to potential weather, and in Tasha’s interview, she says, she was with Kyle on service for the entire season. She doesn’t get along with Natalya, but she’s stuck with her, and it’s a potential disaster. Natalya says, 48 hours, and they’re done. In Storm’s interview, he says he doesn’t want to say goodbye to Natalya. He sucks at goodbyes. He and Natalya cuddle, and Dave texts Kyle, griping about nothing in particular.

It starts to rain, but Reid says he thinks they’re just spotted clouds, and it will pass. Tasha says, rule number one; no bitchiness. The launch taxi comes with new stew Ellie (Elena), and in her interview, she says she worked on a cruise line, but only had experience in the spa. She’s a little bit out of her comfort zone. Tasha  takes her around the boat, and in Natalya’s interview, she says, Ellie is glamorous, but it’s not a fashion show. She hopes Ellie is ready to get her hands dirty. Not too judgy. Captain Lee always said that Kate looked more like a guest then a crew member when arriving and leaving for the season. Tasha shows Ellie the cabin and her uniforms, and takes her to meet Captain Sandy. In Ellie’s interview, she says she was born in Serbia, but moved to Slovenia, then Macedonia. She learned different languages as a child, and has a bachelor’s degree in English and Russian. She’s working on her 7^th language, Mandarin Chinese. Natalya tells Storm to keep his little seagull eyes to himself. Ellie changes into her uniform, and Tasha asks Natalya to show Ellie the laundry routine. In her interview, Natalya says she’s freaking out not being in control of the laundry. She has high standards, and it’s hard to let someone take the reins. Provisions come in, and Ellie struggles with the ironing board, finally asking Natalya for help. Tasha’s ex pesters her with texts, and the captain tells the crew to get in their whites. Finishing touches are made on the boat, and the crew lines up.

In Courtney’s interview, she says, these guys are hot. She doesn’t know football, but thinks they say, 32 hut. Tasha gives them the tour, and guest Dominique says he could eat pancakes for every meal, but he likes them a particular way. As Tasha shows them the downstairs guest cabins, Dominique says, he doesn’t want to sleep with water so close to his head. Primary Josh says, he can’t escape it, but Dominique says he’s taking his ass upstairs. When Natalya tells them that she’s from Australia, they get all squee over koala bears, but she says, they scratch you and have chlamydia. I don’t care. I still want to pet one. In Dave’s interview, he says, there was a point in the season when he thought he couldn’t handle it emotionally or mentally because of Tasha. But at the end of the day, he’s here to do a job. He’s going to have tunnel-vision; one focus. We’ll see. Dave makes salmon and sweet potatoes smoked under the dome, and lamb kofta. I don’t know what that is and I hate lamb, but it looks so good, I’d eat it anyway. Guest Michael says he appreciates this moment to bask with primaries Josh and Sydney. In Tasha’s interview, she says, her ex reached out, and wants to get back together. She feels sick at the thought of being alone, but the way he looked at her when he told her, f*** off, was like he wanted her to die. We flash back to that, and she texts him, it’s not reparable. The guests rave about the food, and Tasha tells her ex to stop messaging. Ellie embarrasses herself by walking into the door during service, but Tasha tells her that she’s been incredible. The guests use the Wave Runners and jet skis, and Storm pulls them along in inner tubes. Guest Jordan says, this is f***ing dope. Tasha’s ex texts her that she gave up on her best mate, and in her interview, she says, none of this is okay. It clearly needs to end. She texts him that she can’t make this work.

The guests use the slide, and guest Michael asks the theme for tonight. Tasha tells him, it’s the casino dinner, and he says, Vegas! Dominique corners Dave, and says he likes big pancakes with crispy edges, not too fluffy, made with coconut oil. He explains how he makes them, Dave says he’ll give it a go, and they bro shake on it. Captain Sandy says she’s glad Ellie joined them, and asks where she sailed. Ellie says, the Caribbean and South America, and the captain says, she’s seen some rough seas. Ellie says, they lost engine power in Norway during a storm in an area historically known for shipwrecks. It was a life-changing experience. The captain asks if they used the life rafts, but Ellie says, they couldn’t because the weather was too bad; the waves were 10 to 20 meters. In Ellie’s interview, she says, it was hard thinking about her parents, since she’s an only child. Thinking of the pain it would cause them was heartbreaking. She tells the captain, they were evacuated by helicopter; it was a 27 hour mission. The crew preps for Vegas night, and Dave makes lobster and short ribs surf and turf. Dominique says he lost his gold chain in the water, and pouts. Guest Jordan asks why he wore it while doing water sports, and Dominique says he always wears it. Well, take it from someone who once lost a pair of sunglasses to the ocean, things are gone that fast, so don’t wear your favorite accessories. He wants to go diving for it, and a guest tells Courtney that Dominique’s chain cost the price of a home. In Courtney’s interview, she says, it’s hard to say no to a guest, but they’re in a bay and the current is going out. Someone would have to dive 40 meters, and there’s still no way to find it. She sees him stressing out, but there’s no way they can do it until the morning.

Jordan says, Dominique wants to look for his sh*t, and Courtney tells Captain Sandy that the guest is wondering if there are diving facilities there. The captain asks how deep it is, and Courtney says, 14 meters. Captain Sandy says, it’s even deeper where they were tubing. The chain is like a needle in a haystack. Tell him to make a claim to his insurance company; it’s gone. Courtney gets the unpleasant task of telling Dominique, explaining that it only gets deeper, and it’s the strongest current they’ve had all season. She’s sorry. She knows it’s not the news he wants to hear. Guest Ashley tells him to file an insurance claim. Life happens. In her interview, Courtney says, it’s long gone in Spain. Then she gets confused about Spain/Malta geography. I sympathize, as I, too, am geographically challenged. In Tasha’s interview, she says, losing Kyle brought her and Natalya closer. She’s surprised that it’s actually nice spending time with Natalya. Reid talks to Ellie, and in his interview, he says, his friends think he’s flirty. Ellie says she has a Playboy bunny costume with her, but doesn’t know if it fits the theme, and Tasha tells her, if she’s comfortable wearing it, bring it on. In Ellie’s interview, she says she’s known for her costumes, but there’s not enough time on the boat to bring in other personas. Storm tells the deckhands to put away the toys, and says, everyone is doing a great job. The guests get ready for dinner, and Courtney puts on Ellie’s other bunny costume because of course she has two. Mzi says he can die a happy man. In her interview, Ellie says, luckily, they have skirts so they can be presentable to the guests. They’re working for tips, but not those kinds of tips. Storm comes out dressed like a 70s porn star, and says, he’s the fluffer, director, and lead actor. The guests are seated, and in Dave’s interview, he says, Dominique wants a thin pancake, so he’ll make crêpes. He even has a blowtorch to make it crispy on the outside. Dominique pushes the plate away, and says he asked specifically for pancakes. He’s not eating that sh*t. While I wouldn’t have put it quite so rudely, a crêpe has a very different taste from a pancake, so I think I get where he’s coming from.

Captain Sandy checks on the guests, and Dominique tells her that he’s not a crêpe person. She relays the message to Dave that Dominique wants pancakes, but Dave says, he wants the opposite. In Dave’s interview, he says he was told, the guest doesn’t like American style pancakes, and wants them thin and crispy on the outside. We flash back to that, and he says, so he sent up a thin pancake. He tells the captain, they had a massive conversation about it, and she says, the guest doesn’t look happy. Back at the table, Domonique tells the captain that he’s not upset. The chef’s not wrong, he just made crêpes.  He admits he’s difficult, and she asks if he wants it a little bit thicker, in between a crêpe and a pancake. Tasha tries flipping the latest pancake effort, but fails miserably. In Natalya’s interview, she says, Ellie is doing well with the laundry; she’s surprised. Tasha brings up a giant pancake, and Dominique is skeptical. She says, he has to be honest. They’ve got to nail this pancake. He says, it’s just a little technique, and she says, he has to show them; she’s intrigued. He says he’ll try it, and takes a bite, but it’s a no. The surf and turf is served, and is a lot more well-received. Guest Tyler brags that he can snort a spaghetti noodle and have it come out his mouth, and Dominique asks for noodles. Tasha relays this to Dave, and in his interview, Dave says, the same guest that’s pissed off about the pancake wants something else. Storm and Dave try this party trick, and even though they can’t master it, I’m grossed out. Guest Mook naps, and Tyler makes good on his brag, grossing me out even more. I may never eat spaghetti again.  

The guests play poker, then go to bed. Ellie asks Reid to help clear the table, and thanks him for helping her with her bunny tail. In Ellie’s interview, she says, when she’s at a new job, she tries to impress everyone by jumping into it as quickly as possible. All is quiet by 4 am, and the crew is up early. Tasha’s ex texts Dave, calling him a bully, and Dave radios Tasha to meet him in the galley. He tells her that her boyfriend is calling him a bully, but she says, he’s not her boyfriend. In Tasha’s interview, she says, she’s made so many mistakes. She and Dave shouldn’t have happened, but the relationship with her boyfriend should have ended years ago. Now he’s just trying to hurt her. Dave says he hates bullies, and Tasha asks how he wants her to deal with it. He says he doesn’t. He just wants her to know it’s a super sh*t situation. Like she doesn’t know this already. He says he’s never been aggressive toward her, and she snorts. We flash back to Dave’s night of rage texting Tasha, and Dave being an a-hole in general. She says, some messages, and Dave says, that was one time. It’s a load of rubbish, and it hurts him. Her ex is a wanker, and if he wants to bring Dave into it, he’s in. He’ll f***ing break his neck. Tasha says, this is stupid, and she’s not talking about it. She jets, and Dave acts all dramatic. Tasha locks herself in her cabin bathroom, and in her interview, she says, this has been building and building, and now it’s a massive, out of control snowball.

Next time, the finale, lots of drinking, flashing, and pole dancing; Mzi says, this is the wildest side he’s ever seen of everybody; Reid says, his grandma is going to kill him; Kyle comes back; Dave makes the wrong pancake again; Ellie is late to work her second day; the crew members talk about their rose and thorn; and Storm gets emotional.

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Tomorrow, join me for soap and tales from the teapot. Until then, stay safe, stay using your privilege to vote, and stay fessing up. It’s better than letting things fester.