What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

General Hospital

Guard Craig lets Dante in to see Heather, who’s doing some painting. She tells him, hello again, Detective Handsome, and asks if he’d like to model for her.

On the phone at the MetroCourt, Mac asks how his brother is, and at the hospital, Jordan says, TJ is with him right now. Mac says he should be with Robert too, but she says she needs him to stay on task. He knows how important this is. He says he’s on it, and looks at a table where Doc and Ava are sitting. Ava tells Doc that she’s officially all his, and he says he appreciates her meeting at the last minute. He wouldn’t have asked if it wasn’t important. She asks, what’s up? and he says he’ll let Mac explain. Mac sits down, and she says, now she’s doubly intrigued. What would the Chief of Detectives and GH’s top psychiatrist want with her? Mac says, they need her help catching Esme Prince.

Esme screams, then apologizes for waking Ace up. She still can’t believe Ace is moving around. Elizabeth walks in, and Esme asks why she’s here. Elizabeth says she’s here to help Esme.

Nikolas leaves a message for Ava, saying he loves and misses her, when the doorbell rings. It’s Victor, and Nikolas says, it’s not a good night, but Victor says he’s here to move in.

At Rice Plaza, Scotty tells Laura that Obrecht is with Britt, and Laura says, it’s nice Obrecht can spend the holiday with her daughter. He asks, what about her and Doc? and she says, they’re not going anywhere because she doesn’t want to leave her brother Martin alone right now. She knows it’s affecting Scotty too, and promises she won’t rest until she’s brought Lucy’s real shooter to justice. Holly sits at a bench nearby.

Elizabeth takes Esme’s blood pressure, and Esme says, Elizabeth was misleading. She thought Elizabeth was here to help her. Elizabeth says she is helping Esme. The baby is fine, but she’s got to stop with the screaming; it’s stressful for her and the baby. Esme says she’s locked in a tower, and Elizabeth covering for Nikolas doesn’t help. Elizabeth says she’s doing the best she can to help Esme have a healthy pregnancy. She assumes Esme’s had no prenatal care. She should take pregnancy seriously; there could be complications. Esme asks if she shouldn’t be under a doctor’s care then, and not under house arrest, but Elizabeth says, Esme will have to make do with her. Don’t worry. She knows what she’s doing. Esme asks how she can’t worry. She’s locked in here with no idea what’s to become of her. Elizabeth has to convince Nikolas to let her go. Elizabeth says, even if she wanted to, she doubts Nikolas would listen, not after Esme attacked him, but Esme says, Nikolas is making that up. Elizabeth says she’s not making up Esme attacking her, and Esme says she was in fight or flight mode. Elizabeth asks if she’s making up Esme filming revenge porn, and victimizing Josslyn and her son, and Esme says, so that’s it. Elizabeth is committed to being Nikolas’s accomplice. Elizabeth asks if Esme would rather have her baby in prison, and Esme says, this is a prison, with no oversight or chance of parole. And what happens to her after she gives birth? Did Nikolas tell Elizabeth that? Elizabeth says, he did. Esme will be taken to Greece, where she’ll live a life of luxury on Cassadine Island. Esme asks if Elizabeth really believes Nikolas is going to take care of her for the rest of her life.

Ava tells Mac that she wants Esme to rot, but she’s already told the cops everything she can think of. She hasn’t seen Esme in months. Mac says, they know Esme’s back in Port Charles, but the trail went cold after she crossed paths with Elizabeth Baldwin at the docks. Ava says, if she knew where Esme was, she’d serve her up, head on a platter… figuratively speaking, of course (🍷). Doc says, they don’t think Ava knows where to find her, but they think she knows someone who does.

Ryan’s new caregiver tells him that he doesn’t see any new articles about The Hook killer, but how about this? Prisoner Anna Devane remains at large after escaping a prison transport. Ryan blinks twice, and the caregiver says, how about sports? There’s football, basketball… Oh look, they’ve got pickleball.

Dante says he’s there to ask Heather about the prison transport crash, but she says, that’s old news. He says, it’s an ongoing investigation, and she says, right to business, huh? Not even a, hi, how are you? He asks how she is, and tells her that he’s here on official police business, but if she doesn’t want to cooperate, he’ll go. She says, cool your jets, Mr. Serious. I’ll tell you everything you want to know… for a price. Quid pro quo, Clarice; she does her best Anthony Hopkins impression.

TJ tells Diane and Jordan that Robert’s okay; he’s sleeping it off. Diane asks if she can see him, and TJ nods. She goes into Robert’s room, and Jordan asks if TJ really thinks Robert had too much to drink. He says, could be. They ran a tox screen, and he’s waiting for the results. What is she thinking? She says she thinks the DA was drugged.

Nikolas asks, why the urgency? Why does Victor have to move in tonight? Victor says, there’s been a development in his plans, and Nikolas says, plans that necessitate Victor hiding out on a secure island. Victor says, it had better be secure. He needs to prepare his family for what’s to come. It seems Nikolas and Spencer are the only Cassadines he can trust right now. Of course (🍷), the snail’s pace of Nikolas’s divorce from Ava is a continuing cause of concern. Now more than ever, Nikolas needs to get his house in order. He hands Nikolas a drink, and Nikolas says, if Victor is moving in to ensure his cooperation, he already told Victor that he agrees to his terms. Victor says, forgive him if he needs more assurance than Nikolas’s word, and Nikolas says, the house is still undergoing renovations. It’s not prepared for Victor yet. Victor says, then prepare it. Tonight the tide turns for this family.

Holly says, she just saw an enormous woodchuck floating up to the sky, and Scotty says, she probably hasn’t seen a parade in a while. Laura says, the mayor gets priority seating, and Holly’s welcome to join them, but Holly says, it sounds lovely, but she has somewhere to be. She told her Ride Share to pick her up at the Plaza. Laura asks if she has plans with Robert, but Holly says, not tonight; it’s business, not pleasure. Scotty says he didn’t know Holly had a job, and Laura says, the night before Thanksgiving? What kind of business?

Dante tells Heather that he’s not authorized to make a deal, but if he was her, he’d want to assist them. Who knows how it will work out for her down the wire? She tells him, if he wants her help, come back with someone who can make a deal, and he says, good luck with her painting. She’ll have plenty of time to get good at it. He leaves, and Heather has an epiphany. She knocks at the window, and thanks Craig for letting in the charming detective. She asks if he’d be an absolute dear, and escort her to make a teeny weeny phone call

TJ tells Jordan that he won’t know anything until the tox screen comes back. He’ll put a rush on it. She asks him to keep her posted, and he leaves.

Diane says, oh good; Robert’s up. He asks where he is; it looks like a hospital. She asks if he doesn’t remember, and he says he remembers tequila. She says, he and Holly shared some tequila shots, he had a bad reaction, and Holly took him back to his room. She asked Diane to give his WSB contact a message. He asks where Holly is, and where’s his briefcase? She says, he didn’t have it on him when he stumbled out of the elevator, and she hasn’t seen Holly since she left the MetroCourt to take him back to his room. He tells her, get Ashford here – now.

Holly says, unfortunately, some work won’t wait. As mayor, she’s sure Laura understands more than anybody. Laura says she absolutely does, with the ongoing hunt for Anna, and the search for Lucy’s real shooter. She imagines she’ll be working tonight, but she’ll find some time to spend with Martin, since they both saw their holidays going very differently. Scotty’s phone rings, and he steps away. Heather says, it’s his old pal, and he says, for cryin’ out loud. What does she want? She says, don’t be a grouch. Come to Spring Ridge, visit her, and find out. She promises it will be worth his while.

Esme tells Elizabeth, think about it. She gets whisked away, and holed up on some foreign island, with no one looking for her. Does Elizabeth really believe Nikolas is going to keep her around indefinitely? Once she gives birth to his child, she’ll be completely disposable. Elizabeth says, what Esme is suggesting won’t happen, but Nikolas is loyal to the people he cares about. So her advice is, make sure Nikolas cares about her. Esme says, like Nikolas cares about his son? and Elizabeth says, Esme is behind in her bloodwork; she’ll be sure to do it next time. Esme asks, which is when? and Elizabeth says she’ll come every couple of days until Esme delivers. She gives Esme a bottle of prenatal vitamins, and tells her to take one every day. She’s guessing Esme hasn’t taken them before, and Esme says she’s been a little busy. Elizabeth says, now she has the time. They’ll make her baby healthy and strong. Esme says, getting out of this room would work wonders in that regard, but Elizabeth tells her to take her vitamins. She’s not getting out of here any time soon. She leaves, and Esme looks at the bottle.

Ava asks why Mac is wasting time talking to her when he knows someone who can find Esme, but Mac says, she’s a pivotal part of their plan. Doc says, and she has the right to refuse, and Ava says, refuse what exactly? Doc says, Esme is cunning and dangerous, and Mac says, they’ve questioned everyone Esme has had a relationship with in Port Charles. Doc says, except one – his brother. Despite his best efforts, Esme forged a connection with Ryan when she was interning at Spring Ridge. Ryan will know how to find Esme. Mac says, Ryan refused to communicate with Doc, and it’s unlikely he’ll cooperate with the police. They thought if they gave him some incentive to cooperate… and Ava says, they want to use her as bait. Mac says he understands the gravity of what they’re asking her to do, and it’s completely up to her. Doc says, she’s the one person Ryan is likely to communicate with, but it’s not worth it if it’s going to cause her trauma. She tells them, say no more; she’s in. Doc suggests she take some time to think about it, but she says, they don’t have time. Esme terrorized this town long before she started her murderous rampage. They have to get to her before she gets to Trina. That’s the theory, right? That Esme is the killer and her ultimate target is Trina. Mac says, it is, and Ava says, then they have to find Esme and stop her. If she has to see Ryan to get it done, so be it. She’ll do whatever they ask. When do they need her? Mac says, right now.

Esme says, come on, think. What would daddy do? Ryan appears on the bed, and says he thought she’d never ask. She says, did he hear Elizabeth? She calls herself a nurse, but didn’t even help her. She’s too busy holding a grudge because of that stupid sex tape. He says he told her; don’t get distracted by Spencer… She says she has no time for I told you so. Help her figure a way out of here. He says he gets so tired of repeating himself. Use the baby. She asks, how? and he says, the baby’s health is dependent on her. She saw how frightened Nikolas was when he thought she was in distress. She says, until Nurse Baldwin threatened to do a C-section with no anesthesia, and he says, Elizabeth called her bluff, but that’s no reason she can’t build on a successful tactic. Throw out the vitamins Elizabeth gave her. She asks, what good that would do? and he says, refuse to take care of herself. If her health suffers, the baby suffers. She says, but if she harms the baby, she could lose…. her only leverage, and he says, the baby is her only leverage. She doesn’t have another option. Make sure Nikolas knows what’s at stake.

Craig lets Scotty into Heather’s room, and she says, it’s good of him to come. He says, hiya, Heather. He’s here because she’s Franco’s mother, so what does she want? She tears up and says, their boy was such a beautiful soul. She hates that he was taken in such a violent, cruel way. He says he knows. He sees she’s still painting, and she says, it’s what she and Franco shared in common. These works lack her usual depth. He asks how she can she tell, and she says, because of her neck. He asks, what’s wrong with her neck? and she says, didn’t he hear? Her prison transport van crashed, horribly. She’s been in agony ever since; she can hardly paint. He says, for cryin’ out loud, that’s why she’s in rehab, and she says she has half a mind to sue the city of Port Charles and the PCPD for physical and emotional distress. Isn’t that his area of expertise? He says, no judge is ever going to sign off on an institutionalized crackpot, but she says, what if she was a free woman? He asks, who’s going to let her out? and she says, he is.

Victor says, think of the perks. This way, Nikolas won’t have to spend Thanksgiving alone. Nikolas says he’s not in a celebratory mood this year, and Victor asks if that’s because of Spencer, Ava, or both. Nikolas says, among other things, when Elizabeth walks in. Victor says he’s sorry. He doesn’t remember Nikolas saying he had company, but Nikolas says he recalls telling Victor that it’s not a good time. Elizabeth says she’s sorry to interrupt, but Victor says, she’s not. The staff is moving him in; he’s the one interrupting. She says, he’s moving in tonight? How cozy. Victor says he’s sick and tired of living out of suitcases, and found himself craving family. He’ll start unpacking, and not detract from their evening any further. He’ll pick out a suite in the north tower. Nikolas says, no. The repairs aren’t finished yet; it’s not safe. Victor will have to stay in the south tower. Victor says, that’s a pity; the views are so much nicer in the north tower. He tells Elizabeth that it was a delight to see her, and leaves. Elizabeth says, what the hell? He’s living here now? Is Nikolas trying to get caught? In the foyer, Victor calls Gavin, and says, he’s arrived on Spoon Island. What did Gavin find out about the necklace, and where the hell is Holly Sutton?

Laura tells Holly that she can’t believe Scotty went to see Heather. Whatever she’s up to can’t be good. Holly wonders what happened to her Ride Share, and Laura asks where she’s going. Holly says, her meeting is out of town, and Laura says, it’s going to cost her a fortune. Why isn’t Robert taking her? Holly says, Robert doesn’t know. She’s going back to doing some contract work for government agencies, and she knows he wouldn’t approve because of her memory issues and how her last assignment ended, but she’s as sharp as ever. She needs purpose. Laura says she’d be happy to take Holly wherever she’s going, but Holly says she couldn’t trouble Laura. Laura says she insists. She won’t take no for an answer. Robert is a good friend, and she knows he woudn’t want Holly taking a Ride Share out of town tonight. Unless of course (🍷) Holly wants to call him. Holly says, thank you, she’d love a ride, but Laura says, no thanks necessary. It will give them a chance to talk. Holly picks up the briefcase, and follows Laura.

Nikolas asks how the baby is, and Elizabeth says, fine, for now. Esme has had no prenatal care, and she doesn’t know how they’re going to accomplish it with Victor here. It’s only a matter of time before Victor figures out he’s holding Esme prisoner here. He says, the north tower will be locked at all times, and Demetrius will be keeping an eye on Victor. He’s going to put his uncle in the south tower, which is on the opposite side of the house. He even soundproofed Esme’s room. Don’t worry; he has it under control. She says, this whole thing is going to blow up in their faces. It’s bad enough what they’re doing, and now Victor is going to be looking around. Victor comes back in, and Elizabeth says she was just on her way out. It’s good to see them both. Nikolas says he’ll walk her out, but she says, no need. Happy Thanksgiving. She leaves, and Nikolas tells Victor, she’s going through a tough time, and came here to talk. Victor says, stop lying to him. He knows exactly what’s going on.

At Spring Ridge, Mac thanks Dante for joining them, and asks how his conversation with Heather panned out. Dante says, not really, but they can talk about it later. What’s this all about? Mac says, Ava agreed to speak with Ryan, and Ava says she wishes Doc could be here. Mac says, him too, but Doc’s right; Ryan might not want to communicate in his presence. They walk into the rec room, and Mac asks if she’s sure she wants to do this now, but she says, no time like the present. Ryan’s eyes follow her as she walks over to him, and she asks if he’s still locked in. He blinks once, and the caregiver says, one blink for yes, two for no, but she says she’s familiar. Is he Ryan’s new caregiver? He says, one of them, and Ryan does a bunch of blinking. The caregiver tells her, he says… but she says she doesn’t care what he’s blinking. She’ll do the talking. She sits down, and asks if Ryan remembers his little friend Esme, his protégé. It turns out Esme is the one who attacked her. The audacity. How would he like the chance to get back at her for trying to take what’s his?

Scotty asks why Heather thinks he can get her out, and she says, it would behoove him. Once she’s a free woman, the judge will find her more credible when she sues the pants off the PCPD and the city. They’ll find her the victim of gross negligence, not some loon. It’ll be ka-ching, ka-ching for the both of them. He says he has a news flash for her. There are a lot details involved. He doesn’t know why she thinks he can get her sprung. She says, Detective Falconari was just here, and wanted to interview her about the crash, and the prisoner escape. He says, so? and she says, clearly her eyewitness testimony is very valuable to them. He says, that depends on the testimony, and she says, what if she can ID who helped Anna Devane escape?

Robert says he has to get out of here, and TJ says he appreciates the urgency, but Robert can’t leave. Robert says, TJ doesn’t understand. Holly is missing and could be hurt. There’s a $35 million necklace out there, and he has to make sure it doesn’t fall into the wrong hands. Diane comes in with Jordan, and Robert asks if she found Holly or the necklace; somebody might have hurt Holly. Jordan says she wouldn’t worry. She took a look at the security footage, and Holly appears to be fine. He asks if she saw who took his briefcase, and she says, yes, and it’s someone he knows very well.

In the car, Laura tells Holly that her mother’s new place is in the center of town, near her favorite cafes and restaurants. Holly says she feels awful. Laura just came back, and she’s keeping her away from Doc. Laura says, Doc is working tonight. Besides, it gives them a chance to catch up. Holly says, without memories, there won’t be much catch up on her end, but Laura says she’s sure they’ll come back. So what agency did Holly say she was meeting with tonight? Holly says, Laura knows that’s classified, and Laura laughs, saying, she never assumes. She likes to keep her mind open to possibilities. Holly says, the mark of an effective mayor, when Laura’s phone rings. Laura says, and duty calls, and stupidly puts it on speaker. She tells Jordan that she can’t really talk. She’s sitting here with… Jordan says, it’s important. Robert Scorpio was mugged tonight. He’s all right, but the attacker stole his briefcase containing a necklace of diamonds from the Ice Princess. The suspect is Holly… The phone disconnects, and Holly takes out a gun. She tells Laura, no more questions. She’s so sorry it’s come to this.

The caregiver asks, what’s in it for Ryan? and Ava says, for every interview he gives, she’ll be there too. He can bask in her presence while he gives law enforcement the information they need to take that wretched Esme down. So he gets her company, and gets credit for doing a public service for once in his life. The caregiver says, maybe he doesn’t understand, but Ava says, he understands all right. He’s toying with her. She tells Ryan, just imagine how much more toying he could do with her as a captive audience. Enough stalling. Do they have a deal or not?

Heather tells Scotty, she reads the papers. Everyone is hot to trot to find Anna, from the WSB to the PCPD. And who’s the only one who can put them on the right trail? Little ol’ her. Strike this bargain with her. Free her, and they can squeeze this city for a tidy sum. He says he doubts anybody is going to make that deal, but she says, he’ll never know until he tries.  Doesn’t he want a windfall to ease his grief? Anna killed Lucy Coe, the woman who was the mother to the only child he has left. He can get revenge and strike it rich at the same time. What does he say? He says, no. Nein. His German girlfriend taught him that.  She says she can’t believe he’s turning down a way to make a fast buck, and he says he’s got a full life right now. He’s not going to let her screw it up. She says, is this all because of his new girlfriend? Why did he come here if he didn’t want to help her? He says he wanted to see if she was up to anything crazy, so he could tell the cops. She says, think it through. She never forgets her friends, or her enemies. He says, neither does he, tells the guard to let him out of this nuthouse, and leaves.

Nikolas says he doesn’t know what Victor thinks is going on, and Victor says, the loaded looks, the hesitation about him moving in? He wasn’t born yesterday. He’s not shocked. He’s rather relieved Nikolas is behaving like a single man again. Nikolas says, it’s not what Victor thinks. He and Elizabeth are just friends. She’s been going through some things. Victor says, it’s nice they can comfort each other. He won’t cramp Nikolas’s style. Nikolas tells Victor, just do him a favor. Ava can’t know Elizabeth has been coming over. Victor says, of course (🍷) not. No need to make this divorce more complicated than Nikolas has made it already by sleeping with Spencer’s girlfriend. Nikolas thanks him for his discretion, and Victor says he’s on Nikolas’s side. All the more reason to put an end to this marriage once and for all.

Holly says, do as she asks, and no harm will come to Laura, and Laura says, like no harm came to Robert? She knew Holly wasn’t to be trusted, and hates that she was right. Holly says she doesn’t want to hurt Laura, and Laura says, Holly has a funny way of showing it. Put the gun down. Holly says she wishes she could, and Laura says, she can; just do it. Holly tells her to take the next exit, but Laura says, no. Holly says, they have a long history, but that won’t save her. She has no choice in this. Laura says, she always has a choice, but Holly says she doesn’t, and she will do what she has to. Laura says, why? Because she’s working for Victor Cassadine? Is that why she was whispering to Eileen Ashby? Is that why she stole Robert’s briefcase? Holly says, here’s the exit. It’s now or never.

Jordan says she thought Holly and Robert were friends. Why would she do something like this? He says, you tell me, and she says, if there’s something she should know, now’s the time to tell her. Her phone rings, and she steps outside to take it. Diane says, it seemed like he wanted to say something to the Commissioner. Why didn’t he? He asks what she means; he’s an open book. She says, come on. Holly is his ex-wife, but it’s obvious she stole the necklace and drugged him. He says he hasn’t had tequila in a while, and she says, he’s going to be in a lot of trouble with the WSB, but he says he can handle it. She tells him, said every cocky defendant she’s ever represented. She hopes he won’t mind being one of them, but her rates are exorbitant. She hopes whatever Holly got herself into doesn’t drag him down as well.

Nikolas tells Victor, they’ve been through this. He’ll divorce Ava, it’s complicated, he needs some time. Victor says his patience is wearing thin, but Nikolas says he’ll do what he must. He knows what’s at stake. Victor’s phone rings, and he says he hopes for Nikolas’s sake that’s true. They’re already on the launchpad. He goes out to the foyer, and tells Gavin, talk to him. What’s the status?… What does he mean, she’s disappeared?  

Outside of the car, Laura asks Holly if this is the end of the line. Is Holly going to kill her and leave her by the side of the road? Holly says, there’s been enough death. She punches some numbers into Laura’s phone, and says, perfect; there’s some recent calls. Laura asks what she’s doing, and Holly says, Laura’s family needs her, throwing the phone toward Laura. We hear a ring, and Doc says, hello? Laura picks it up, and says, help her please. She’s on Route 31 by the side of the road, near mile marker 35. Call Jordan. Tell her that Holly stole her car, and that she’s armed and dangerous.

The caregiver tells Ava that Ryan says, I can’t wait to see you again, my love. Mac says, tell him they’ll be in touch to schedule the first interview. They start to leave, but the caregiver says, he wasn’t done. He said, never fear, Ava. We’ll find Esme together. Ava and Ryan lock eyes (no pun intended) and Ava leaves with Mac and Dante.

Esme comes out of the bathroom, and says, that’s that. She shakes a few vitamins into her hand, and tosses the empty bottle on the bed. She says, don’t worry, Ace. Elizabeth will be back soon. They’ll tell her that they trashed the vitamins, and she’ll bring them more before these run out. She looks at the few vitamins in her hand, and says, all they have to do is scare her. Show her and Nikolas that they can’t be steamrolled. She knows what Ace’s grandfather would say, but she can’t risk hurting Ace, and being at Nikolas’s mercy. She’ll do what it takes to survive. She swallows a vitamin.

Heather walks into the rec room, and sees Ryan. She gasps, and the caregiver asks if they know each other. She says, everyone knows Ryan Chamberlain, and the caregiver says, the same could be said of you, Heather Webber. Heather backs up a bit, and the caregiver wheels Ryan out as Ryan stares at Heather.

Tomorrow, Olivia says, they’re still waiting on the man of the hour; Sonny asks if Nina wants to make new traditions; Laura wants the police to make sure it ends peacefully; and Alexis says, Jordan promised her, but didn’t deliver.

Below Deck

Alissa harps on Camille stocking the refrigerator, and in her interview, she says, Camille should respect her second stew position. She’s just doing her job, and getting bad vibes. Camille says she’s going to lose her sh*t, and on deck, Tony works out. In his interview, he says, working out is how he deals with stress. In 2011 he got depressed when his dad got sick, and tried to find a healthy way to deal with it. Working out is replacing soul pain with physical pain. In Fraser’s interview, he says, day one was bad, and he’s not feeling good about things, including his future in yachting. They need to work harder, better, and smarter. How? He’s not sure, but he needs the enthusiasm first. Guest Chad is up and looking for coffee, and Hayley tells Fraser that Chad looks incredibly hung over. In Hayley’s interview, she wonders, who the hell gets up that early after getting sh*tfaced night before? Fraser serves breakfast, and tells the guests they’ll be going to be beach later. Alissa tells Fraser that Camille stomped feet when she said Camille needed to back up the crew. In his interview, Fraser says he appreciates Alissa’s communication, even though it’s not the best news. In his last stint as chief stew, he let people off too easy. He needs to be more of a bitch. In Katie’s interview, she says she’s never worked on a boat this size, but she’s hardworking wants be doing the same as the guys. Owning her own boat is her goal. Rachel discusses the beach picnic with Fraser, and tells him that she’s making up serving boxes. In Rachel’s interview, she says, primary Peng is from Thailand, and she can’t wait to make the lunch. She lived in Thailand for a while, near the clubs where the ladyboys party. Fraser tells Camille, there’s a Reiki sound bath person coming to the beach, and she leaves with Alissa and Katie to help with service. At the beach, Camille says she can’t wait to get in the water, and Katie wonders if that’s allowed. In Camille’s interview, she forgets this is a job, and says, yachting is supposed to be fun. She and Ben get in the water, and Fraser radios that the guests are on the way. In Alissa’s interview, she says, they’re supposed to be working, but apparently Ben and Camille don’t give a f***.

Katie and Ben greet the guests, and Dr. Tanya arrives to do the sound bath thing. One of the guests – Ben? Chad? I don’t know – tells Camille, being gay is exhausting, and Camille says she should try it sometime. Dr. Tanya does her thing, and on the boat, Fraser helps Rachel pack the lunches. He heads for the beach with the food, and Captain Lee tells Rachel that he’s hoping to get rid of his crutches soon. In the captain’s interview, he says, the pain is gone; he just doesn’t look pretty walking. But he was never going to be a runway model anyway. Lunch is served on the beach, and the guests are thrilled with Rachel’s choice. Peng says, it’s like what his mom would pack him for a school lunch, and he got made fun of. Another guest – Chad? Ben? Jared? I don’t know – says, the kids with the bologna are teasing me. The guests return to the boat, and demand to see Tony’s abs. In Fraser’s interview, he says he’s a perfectionist. Mummy loves a challenge. In Rachel’s interview, she says, it’s important the dinner go well. She can’t have a repeat of the day before. When the guests’ experience is sub-par, you have to work harder to make them think it’s good. Fraser radios the crew to tell them, dress-up clothing for the Playboy mansion debaucherous evening is available. Hayley says some things in her interview that I’m not even repeating, and Rachel realizes the fish smells bad. In her interview, she says she ordered 45 pounds of frozen fish, but it wasn’t not frozen fresh. Dinner is f***ed. She calls Fraser to the galley, and says, the branzino is off. F*** my life.

Calling it the deadliest snatch, Rachel wonders how she’s going to pull off surf and turf without the surf. She hates her f***ing life. The captain asks what the dinner dress attire is, and Fraser says, debaucherous playboy. The captain is less than happy. In Tony’s interview, he says he likes his abs, but because of what he can do. We see clips of his various athletic talents, and he says, sometimes he feels like a piece of meat, but for the family, he will do it. In Ross’s interview, he says he enjoys the company of the fairer sex; sex being the operative word. Ugh. Hayley and Alissa discuss who fancies who, and Captain Lee mumbles that he’s being tossed to the wolves, as he gets ready to join the guests for dinner. He thanks them for the invite, and apologizes for being absent. He says, it’s a nerve issue, which will hopefully be resolved quickly, but until then, he’s the best they’ve got. In his interview, he says, it’s uncomfortable, but he can’t toss in the towel. Suck it up, cupcake. Truffle fries are served, and the captain says, Rachel is a treasure. In Rachel’s interview, she says, somehow, some way, she pulled it off. Per the guests’ request, Peng’s face is everywhere in the décor. The guests take photos and drink shots, and Camille radios the crew that they’re asking for exotic dancers. Ben wakes up Tony, and says, they have to dance. In Tony’s interview, he says, whatever the guests want, they get. Peng sits in a chair, while they do what maybe could pass for a lap dance at a distance. In his interview, Tony says, he doesn’t know what to do. He’s got nothing. He’s the worst Latino ever. Alissa tells Camille to clean the salon, and when Camille is eating something in the crew mess, Alissa tells her what she didn’t do. She says she doesn’t want any pouting, and Camille says, it’s her delivery.

Tony makes a lot of noises while he works out. The sea is rough, and Captain Lee says, don’t f*** with him; he’s not in the mood. In his interview, he says, the weather there in unpredictable. It’s called Windward Islands for a reason. The docking is going to be challenging. The wind is at 29 knots, and he says, the boat is like a pinball in a machine. WTF? Camille delivers the captain’s laundry, and Alissa calls her mother. Fraser says, her mom sounds adorable, and she tells him that she’s closest with her mom. When her parents divorced, she lived with her dad, and he was pretty negative. He had primary custody, and her mom would get them on weekends. Her dad was mean, and was hard on her. In Alissa’s interview, she says, her dad was a strict, devout Christian, and having a controlling parent caused her to become soft and submissive. Her mom was inconsistent. One time, she said she’d see them next weekend, and they didn’t see her for two and a half years. Being a kid, she automatically forgave, but it feels like standing up for herself is important now. Captain Lee’s shirt is way too tight, and he tells Fraser, it’s the wrong size. Fraser gets Camille, and they search for a large, but can’t find one. The captain tells her that he should have three, and she apologizes. He calmly dons a polo. Ross goes over anchoring with the deckhands, and in his interview, he says, they have great attitudes, and he loves them, even though Tony is green. It’s a load on him, and he hopes to spread his load… his work load. He laughs at his own awful joke, and I’m not liking him a whole lot. In Captain Lee’s interview, he says he’s as nervous as a whore in the front row pew at church. The have mountains all around, and a pass that the wind funnels through. They’re big sail. It’s a tricky dock, but you get paid the big bucks to make the hard calls. The wind is at 37 knots, and the captain curses his life.

At 27 knots, the captain heaves a sigh. He calls the deck crew to the wheelhouse, and in his interview, he says, Mother Nature is a bad ass bitch. He tells the deck crew that they’re going to find a spot for the guests to disembark, and ferry their asses in. In the captain’s interview, he says, it’s a 200 foot boat, and a lot to spend if they f*** up. They anchor outside of the marina, and Captain Lee tells Fraser, they’re going to launch a tender. The guests pack, and guest Jared thinks he’s leaving with more than he came with. I identify. Captain Lee radios the crew to be on the aft deck in five minutes in their whites. Camille asks if the captain is upset, but he says, if he was, there would be no doubt in her mind. Fraser promises to fix the situation. Peng tells the crew that service was great, except for having to find the soap and toilet paper. But they were brought all the alcohol, and they love to drink. They did feel bad waking Tony up, and Tony says, it was a new experience. Peng gives the captain the tip envelope, and the guests get in the tender, yelling, wooooo! as they leave. The crew changes, and Captain Lee radios them to meet in the Sky Lounge. He says, the guests loved the crew’s involvement, and thanks them for going above and beyond. The tip is $25K, or $2100 each. The captain says, it’s a healthy start, and in Hayley’s interview, she says, she’s already envisioning the Louis Vuitton handbag she’s buying in the airport on the way home. Captain Lee says, that put some smiles on their faces, and the crew gets ready to go out. Tony tells Ben that the girls are all beautiful, but he’s not vibing, and Ben says he likes Camille. He wasn’t keen on Allison, but he’s starting to warm up to her. In the galley, Fraser hands Rachel a cucumber, and says, sometimes you don’t need words. In Camille’s interview, she says she wants to know Ben more. He’s a little shy, and she wants to open up so he can come in. I’m not quite sure what she means by that. Alisson tells Hayley that she knows Camille likes Ben, but Camille’s been a bitch to her, so she’s going to flirt with him. She doesn’t owe anybody anything. As usual, the yachting industry finds the least likeable and most immature people.

The crew heads out, taking a tender to shore. At the restaurant, Camille asks everyone to join hands, and says she hopes they all have a great season and stay safe. They’re going to get f***Ing slammed tonight because they had great charter. She makes small talk with Ben, but Alisson tries to block her with some flirting, and telling him that she should have worn underwear. In Hayley’s interview, she says, as uncomfortable as this is, she’s enjoying watching it. Who should she put her money on? Ben says he thought his last girlfriend was serious, and he ended up heartbroken. In his interview, he says he lost her to drugs and alcohol. So he got out, and came to join the big white boats. Camille asks, what do they call the guys in yachting? and Ben says, sluts? She says, lost boys, and in Camille’s interview, she says, she dated a big deal quarterback who cheated on her. She was depressed and anxious, and just wanted to get away. She didn’t want anyone to know her. A lot of people get away from their demons in yachting. Fraser tells Hayley that yachting is misunderstood, and she says, people assume they work on cruse ships. He says he’d rather his funeral be rotting in a car park than setting foot on cruise ship. The crew goes back to the boat, and they change to get in the hot tub, but it’s cold, so they go back downstairs. Camille twerks, and gives Ben a lap dance. In Alissa’s interview, she says, she’d never chase a man. Camille is a man chaser, but she’s not. If you don’t have a brain, you have to use something, and Camille uses her ass. Camille asks if Ben enjoyed it. He gets up, and… OH MY GOD, MY EYES!!!! Yeah, he liked it. In her interview, Alissa says, Camille lowered her value. She’s a dirty, disgusting, trashy, swampy bitch.

The morning dawns in a gorgeous place, and it’s 31 hours before charter. Captain Lee says, f*** me, and in his interview, he says, everything is numb. He’s not progressing at the rate he anticipated, and the pain is worse. He can barely stand. In fact, he can’t stand. He says, mother***er.

Next time, a charter of medical doctors; Fraser mistakenly calls the doctors nurses; Alissa and Camille clash; and Camille says, Alissa isn’t her boss. I wonder if that’s the actual problem, since Camille is a floater. Technically, Fraser and Ross are her bosses.

⛴ Oh yeah, the Below Deck Mediterranean Reunion. It was boring AF. Natasha and Jason weren’t there. No doubt with Jason it was sour grapes, since he didn’t end on a great note. Tasha said she was working, but hard to buy that, since almost everyone else was too. Nothing was new news, except there was a show of hands for who thought Tasha did Dave dirty. Everyone raised their hands except Kyle, who said they were both at fault, and that gets my vote too. Tasha had no business stringing Dave along, but he did get overly aggressive, which wasn’t cool when you’re trapped on a boat. Oh, and it was revealed Natalya and Storm got busy in a secret location during charter. The show was one of those Watch What Happens Live virtual things, which I think takes a lot away from it, but maybe no one was that interesting to start with.

🥃 Southern Hospitality is worth a look. It’s like Vanderpump Rules, but in the south. Seriously, it’s not much different. If you like one, you’ll like the other.  

💳 Black Friday For Days…

Join me tomorrow for more Thanksgiving in Port Charles, some tea, and music. Until then, stay safe, stay being open to new viewpoints, and stay finding healthy ways to deal with heartache. Like replacing soul pain with physical pain.