What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

General Hospital

Cameron comes home to find Elizabeth sleeping on the couch. He asks if she’s okay.

Laura goes to Esme’s room, and asks if Esme has a few minutes to talk, but Esme says, no. Elizabeth Baldwin told her the truth about Laura’s son. Laura doesn’t really care about her. None of them can be trusted, and she’s sick of listening to Laura’s lies.

Trina sees Spencer sitting on a bench, and he flashes back to kissing her. They hug.

Obrecht is sitting in a private area at the MetroCourt, when Victor comes along. She tells him to go away, but he sits down. She asks if he didn’t hear her, and he says he heard her loud and clear. He also knows how much she enjoys telling him off, so have at it.

Robert brings a blindfolded Eileen into the safehouse where Anna is, and removes the blindfold. She sees Valentin, and says, he’s alive too. Anna says, it’s a miracle, and Eileen asks why Anna didn’t tell her. Anna says, because she could have gone straight to Victor, but Eileen says she knows better. If Victor heard the recording of them setting her up, she’d be seen as a liability and probably killed. Valentin says, probably, and Robert says, it’s good she’s clear on that. She says, if they’re alive, does that mean Lucy Coe… but Valentin says, no. She’s here to give them information, not ask questions. They’ll tell her what she wants to know once they decide how useful she can be. Anna asks why she’s working for Victor. How close is she to him? They need to know everything.

Portia asks Marshall if he thinks there’s any hope for her and Curtis, when Curtis comes out of the elevator. Marshall says he’ll be in Dr. Samuels’s office, but there’s no need for Curtis to come with him to check in. Stay. Talk. Curtis and Portia have something to say to each other. Curtis says, not now, not here, and starts to walk away, but Portia says, please don’t go.

Spencer says, Trina shouldn’t be here. What if she runs into her mom? She says she thought of the possibility, but it doesn’t matter. She needs to be here for him. She hands him a gift bag, saying, she got his baby brother a cool baby blanket, and he thanks her. They sit, and Spencer says he doesn’t know when he’ll get to give it to him though. She asks if they’re not going home today. Is he okay? He says, the baby’s fine, but things have gone from bad to worse. Esme said his father kept her prisoner at Windymere.

Esme tells Laura, she actually had to jump off a turret to get away. She could have been killed or she could have lost her baby, and Laura didn’t say a word about any of this. Laura says she’s sorry. She only recently found out about this. Esme asks why she should believe Laura. She can’t trust any of them. All of the Cassadines are horrible; Nikolas, Spencer, Uncle Victor. They’re all trying to take Ace away from her. Laura says she’s not a Cassadine, but Esme says, she’s Spencer’s grandmother, so she knows Laura is on Spencer’s side. Laura says she’s also Esme’s baby’s grandmother, and she is on his side.

Portia says she and Curtis do have things to say, and Marshall says he’ll be in Dr. Samuels’s office. He tells Portia, it’s good to see her, kisses her on the cheek, and leaves. Curtis wonders what there is to discuss, and Portia says, first of all, he hasn’t been home. Where has he been staying? He says, at the MetroCourt hotel, and she tells him, come home. She can stay in the guest room if he prefers. He says he doesn’t prefer any of this, and as for him coming home, he’s sorry, but he’s just not ready. She says, they can’t keep avoiding each other forever. Can he answer her one thing? Do he and Trina want to have a DNA test to see if they’re father and daughter?

Eileen asks where Felicia is, and Anna says, she couldn’t make it. She tells Eileen to take a seat, and says, they need to understand her involvement with Victor and what she knows. Valentin asks why Victor would want a mole in the mayor’s office, and Eileen says, at first, it was all about Laura. He wanted her to keep tabs on Laura. Anna wonders, why is that? and Eileen says she believes he wanted to keep Laura from focusing on him. He told Eileen to undermine her whenever possible. Anna asks if he was interested in certain information, and Eileen says, he wanted to know if the PCPD was investigating him, but other than that, he didn’t give her any details. Robert says, how convenient for her, and Eileen says, they’re not partners. Victor made that quite clear. She works for him, and does what he tells her to do. Since he promised to back her political aspirations, she had no idea he would be killing people who got in his way. Robert says, that’s not very shrewd of her not to vet someone like Victor when she’s about to become his flunky, and Anna says, Eileen was lured in by the promise of more, wasn’t she? More power, more money… Eileen says, it was never about money. Victor said he believed in her… until she started working for him. Then her eyes were opened. Valentin asks, what did she see?

Cameron says, Elizabeth isn’t sleepwalking, is she? but Elizabeth says she was waiting up for him and fell asleep. She can assure him, she’s not in that dark place anymore. He says he’s glad to hear that, and glad she waited up for him. He’s going to play soccer for Stanford.

Obrecht says she doesn’t know what kind of game Victor is playing, but she’s not interested. He says he’s not playing games. He’s just offering himself as a target for her anger. She knows how much better she feels after cussing him out. She says she was hoping to be left alone to try and eat; something nearly impossible to do these days with the lump in her throat, but she has to keep up her strength. He says he’s truly sorry about her daughter’s death, but she must understand how blessed she’s been. She’s enjoyed the love of her children. Valentin came into his life for only a short while, and they hardly had a loving father/son relationship. They hardly had any relationship at all, and before he could repair the damage, Valentin was taken from him. Not the same hell that she’s experiencing, but it’s hell nonetheless. She supposes she can feel sorry for him for that much, and he says, they can comfort each other, even slightly. Let him keep her company until Scotty gets here. She says, he’s not coming, and Victor asks, where is he? She says she doesn’t know, and she doesn’t care. The only person she wants to talk to less than Victor, is Scotty.

Cameron tells Elizabeth, he got the email this morning. He got the scholarship. They want him to start spring quarter, so he can work out with the team and be ready to play in the fall. Elizabeth hugs him, and says she can’t believe it. She’s so proud of him. He thanks her, and says, but she waited up for him. What’s going on?

Trina says, Esme’s remembered? but Spencer says, no. Esme claims Elizabeth confessed to helping his father. She says, Cam’s mom helped Spencer’s dad hold Esme prisoner? And he thinks that’s true, doesn’t he? He says he could see his dad doing something like that, and his father had enough influence over Elizabeth to put her in that position. His grandmother didn’t say anything, but maybe she and Uncle Victor don’t know about this yet. Trina suggests calling her, but he says, she’s in with Esme right now. Maybe she’s finding out. Either way, he hopes his grandmother can get through to Esme and make her see reason. Esme’s lawyer filed a petition. She wants to take the baby back to prison with her.

Laura asks if she’s given Esme reason to believe she’s lying, but Esme says, no. Laura has been really good to her, especially when she was giving birth to Ace. She couldn’t have gotten through it without Laura. Laura says she was really glad to be there for Esme. She’s happy to be here for Esme now, and promises to make sure she’s treated fairly. Esme asks why Laura cares about her; everyone says she was a horrible person. Laura says, Esme is the mother of her grandchild, and she thinks she has a pretty good idea of what Esme’s feeling right now. She was Esme’s age when she had her first baby, and she was frightened and trapped, and surrounded by enemies. Esme asks, what happened? and Laura says, she ended up being separated from her son for many, many years. Esme says, that’s exactly what’s going to happen to her, but Laura says, Esme hasn’t even stood trial yet. So much could change between now and then. Esme says, Ace should be with her. She’s his mom. Laura says she knows, but Esme has to think about what’s best for her son. Ask herself, is prison really the best spot for a baby?

Valentin asks what Eileen’s witnessed working with Victor, and Eileen says, he’s cold. He’s ruthless. She’s sure he’d have no qualms about killing her if he found out she was talking to them. Robert says, then she’d better make sure he doesn’t find out, and Anna asks if she knows who actually shot Lucy Coe. Um… Didn’t she already say it was Holly when she confessed? Eileen says, Holly Sutton, and Robert asks how Holly came to work for Victor, but Eileen says she has no idea. She’s never even seen Holly with him. She only knows how pleased Victor was when Anna was charged with Lucy’s shooting. One night, he told her how he loved the idea of using Holly against Robert and Anna. Anna says, Victor confided in Eileen. So this relationship is personal as well as professional? Eileen says, sometimes, and Robert says, how personal? Anna says, if Eileen’s taped confession goes public, she’ll never see the light of day again. She understands that? When does Victor confide in her? Eileen says, when they’re in bed together. Really? I don’t see it, but okay. Maybe she’s a freak in the sheets, or maybe Victor is more vanilla than I think.

Curtis says, Trina’s not ready to take a DNA test, and Portia says, then he’s spoken to her? He says, yes, and she asks how Trina is doing. She’s not responding to Portia’s calls or texts, which she completely understands, but she’s still worried about her. He says, Trina’s going through a lot these days, and what was said between them shall remain private. She says, of course (🍷), but a little information would be comforting right now, and he says, Trina’s strong; she knows that. Thankfully, she has a lot of support; from him, from Taggert, from Josslyn, his dad. Hell, even Spencer. She says, it’s good Trina doesn’t need her, but he says, Trina will always need her mom. She thanks him for that, and he says he has to go. He’ll think about coming home. She says she’ll do anything to fix what’s happened between them, but he continues walking away.

Cameron asks if Elizabeth is having second thoughts about him leaving. If so, he understands; applying for the scholarship is different than actually getting it. Elizabeth says, of course (🍷) she’s going to miss him – they all will – but she’s so happy for him. He worked hard for this, and deserves it. He’s going to be such an asset to his school. He says, okay, so what’s wrong? and she says she did something she deeply regrets, and she needs to tell him about it. Ever since her run-in with Esme on the docks, she’s known where Esme was, and she kept it a secret. He asks why she’d do that, and she says she thought she was doing the right thing, and by the time she realized she was wrong, it was too late, and she felt she couldn’t come forward. He asks where Esme was, and she says, Nikolas kept her at Windymere. She was locked in a room in the north tower.

Victor says, the unlikely lovebirds have fallen out. Do tell. What was the breaking point? The horrible wardrobe choices or his abysmal table manners? Come on. Throw him a crumb. Her and Baldwin on the rocks? He’s beginning to feel better already. She says she’s not surprised. Sadistic narcissists are always amused by other people’s suffering. She won’t put hers on display for his sordid entertainment. He laughs, and she asks why he’s grinning like an idiot. He says, there’s the feisty woman he knows and admires back again. The Liesl who spits fire and never backs down. She has to admit, the adrenaline pumping is a lot better than slipping into the pit of despair. She says she supposes so. She’s sorry he lost his son. She’s sorrier that he didn’t get to fulfill that relationship. He says, so is he, and thanks her. She asks if Valentin’s body was recovered, and he says, yes, but he’s having trouble getting the French police to release it to him. Don’t worry. He won’t rest until he can bring his son home.

As surprised as I am, Robert says, Eileen is sleeping with Victor? and Eileen says, off and on for months. It was casual; two consenting adults and all that. But lately, Victor’s been distant. Valentin says, nothing his father does is ever casual; everything is strategic. Anna asks when things changed, and Eileen says, after the explosion that destroyed the necklace Victor wanted. She’s never seen him so angry. Valentin asks if he ever told her why he wanted the necklace, and she tells him, he said he needed the necklace to find something. She doesn’t know what. Valentin says, yeah, she does. Think. What did he tell her exactly? She says, one thing stands out. He said the necklace would lead him to… somewhere; a place he was looking for.

Trina tells Spencer that she can’t believe Esme was being held prisoner at Windymere. That must have been why she was in the harbor on New Year’s Eve. She came all the way from Spoon Island on her own. Spencer says, she’s a survivor all right, and Trina asks if he thinks Esme always knew Ryan Chamberlain and Heather Webber were her parents. That’s a lot to survive right there. Spencer says, considering she was only in boarding school in Paris because he was there, he thinks she knew about Ryan for a while. Ryan told Ava, right before Mac Scorpio shot him, that he and Esme had been working together. The whole reason she was in France was to get close to him. Their entire relationship was a set-up. She had instructions from Ryan to get close to him and widen the gap between him and his father. Looking back, she manipulated him beautifully. She manipulated him from the very beginning, encouraging him to get revenge on his father, and drive his father and Ava apart. Trina says she’s so sorry, and he says, everything Esme told him from the beginning has been a lie. She says she feels him; it’s the worst. She turns around to see Portia.

Cameron tells Elizabeth that he doesn’t get it. The police suspected Esme of being a killer. They were looking for her everywhere and she knew where Esme was? Why did she just have the police handle it? She says she wanted to, but Nikolas convinced her that they were protecting the baby, as well as everyone else. For a period of time, there were no more Hook attacks, so they thought they were doing the right thing. Until Officer Cabrera was killed, then they realized it couldn’t be Esme. He asks why she didn’t call the police then, and she says she really struggled with it, but she was in too deep. She didn’t want to go to jail and leave them, then Esme showed up with amnesia, and part of her thought there was no reason to come forward. That would have been the easy way out. So yesterday, she went to the police and told them everything, and they gave her an immunity deal. Does he think he can ever forgive her? Talk to her. Just tell her what he’s feeling.

Dr. Samuels says, Marshall was concerned with the genes that could be indicators of schizophrenia, and Marshall says he knows there are ten genes scientists have linked to the disease. She says, it’s also possible to have schizophrenia without those gene indicators present, and he says, she doesn’t have to beat around the bush with him. He’s lived most of his life with this diagnosis. Give it to him straight. How many of the genes does he have? She says, his test results showed he doesn’t have a single gene mutation that would indicate schizophrenia.

Valentin says, they need to know more about this place Victor wants to find. What else can Eileen tell them? She says, only that Victor’s been searching for it for years, and Anna says, and he believes the necklace is the key to finding it? Eileen says, yes, but he never said how or why. Just that, now that the necklace is gone, he’s back to square one. Robert says, it’s not enough; they need more. Eileen says she doesn’t have anything else, and Valentin says, maybe she can get Victor to give them something else; a little more pillow talk. She asks if he’s suggesting she sleep with Victor to get information, but Anna says, they’re not suggesting anything. However, Eileen’s prior relationship with him might get him to open up. Eileen asks how Anna proposes she do that, and Anna says she wants Eileen to listen to what she says very carefully.

The guard comes into Esme’s room, and says, arrangements have been made to transport her to Spring Ridge this evening. Esme says, what about her baby? and he says, the infant is going with her. Esme breathes a sigh of relief, and smiles.

Portia asks if Trina is here to see her, but Trina says, no. She’s here for Spencer. Portia says, of course (🍷), and congratulates him on his baby brother. He thanks her, and they see Laura come out. Trina tells Spencer to go talk to his grandmother. It looks like she needs to talk to him. There’s a lot of that going around right now. He leaves, and Portia asks if that means Trina has something to say to her. They sit, and Trina says, she talked to dad. Her real dad; her always dad, no matter what. Portia agrees, no matter what, Taggert will always be Trina’s dad, and Trina says, he’s amazing. She can’t believe he’s not more upset at Portia not telling them the truth. Portia says, Trina’s father is a good man, and Trina says she’s just sorry he had to rise to the occasion in the first place. Portia says, her too. She knows Trina spoke to Curtis. Don’t worry. He didn’t tell her anything, but she didn’t want Trina to think she was keeping something from her. She asks how Trina’s slideshow for the post-impressionists went, but Trina says, they’re not there yet.

Curtis asks if the doctor is saying Marshall doesn’t have schizophrenia, but she says she’s not saying that. She’s not a psychiatrist. They’ve spoken about how testing for schizophrenia has come a long way since Marshall was diagnosed, and there’s still a lot they don’t understand. That’s a lot of quagmires, she knows. Marshall says, but she’s saying the person in those tests isn’t at risk for schizophrenia? and she says, no more than anyone else.

Spencer asks if Laura got through to Esme. Does she understand the baby would be better off with him? She says she tried, but unfortunately, Elizabeth admitted to Esme that Spencer’s father held her captive at Windymere for months, so now she’s suspicious of all Cassadines. He says, that’s his father, not him. All he wants is what’s best for his little brother. She says she thinks she convinced Esme that she cares about the baby, that she wants what’s best for the baby, and Esme can trust her. Which is why she’s hoping they can find an arrangement where Esme isn’t cut out entirely. Spencer says, no, that’s not going to work because of his father. Esme is never going to believe there’s a scenario where the baby is better off with him. They’re going to have to take this thing to court. She says she was hoping he wouldn’t say that. She’ll never stop looking for an amicable solution for everyone involved; him, Esme, even his father, when he comes back. He says, she thinks there’s such a thing as an amicable solution when it comes to Esme? It is a fight that woman wants, and it’s a fight she’s going to get. He’s going to the nursery to see if they’ll let him hold his brother one more time before his brother is stripped from him. Laura tells him, Esme and the baby are being transferred to Spring Ridge tonight.

Victor asks if Obrecht is going to sit staring disapprovingly at him all evening, or is she going to tell him what Scotty did or didn’t do that got her to come to her senses? She says, he lied to her. Scotty chose someone else over her. He put someone else’s needs above hers and her Britta’s. Victor says, not only is that foolish, it’s unforgiveable. It seems they’re both destined to a solitary evening. Unless of course (🍷) they keep each other company. He reaches for her hand, but she snatches it away, saying, that will never happen. She gets up, and says, Scotty’s misstep can’t compare to everything Victor’s done to her. Does he think she’s forgotten he’s a fool? She assures him, she has not. He’ll never touch her again. She’d rather be alone. She walks off.

Laura says, the decisions they make now will effect this baby for the rest of his childhood. If they alienate Esme now, they set in motion a cycle of hearings in family court. They see the baby being wheeled to Esme’s room, and Laura says, there’s nothing more they can do right now.

Esme picks Ace up, and Portia says, no one expects a new mother to have all the answers. Ask for help if she needs it. Esme thanks Portia for being so kind to her. She understands she was horrible to Portia’s daughter. She’s a very kind person. She bets Portia is a great mother, and she wants to be that for her child too. Portia says she’s just doing her job, and leaves to check on Esme’s release papers. Esme says she missed Ace, who now looks about six-months old. She asks if he remembers her; she’s his mom. He’s her Ace. They’ve been through a lot together, but they’ve got each other. She promises to protect him. He chomps seriously on his pacifier.

Cameron tells Elizabeth that he doesn’t know what to think. It’s a lot to process. He gets she thought Esme was dangerous and shouldn’t roam the streets, but the way they went about the whole thing, it’s a lot. He can’t believe he had no idea she was dealing with all this. She says, he couldn’t have known. She worked very hard to keep it from him, and she’s so sorry for letting him down like this, especially on a day when he should be celebrating this major milestone in his life. If he has questions, come to her, and she’ll try to answer them honestly. He says he’ll let her know. He has to think about this, alone in his room. He starts to go upstairs, but comes back and tells her that he loves her. He’s proud of her. It must have taken a lot of guts to admit that to the police. She’s a good person. She cries, and says she doesn’t know how she got so lucky to have a son like him, but she’s glad she did. She thanks him for still believing in her, and they hug.

Valentin tells Anna, Victor said, Luke was making his life difficult, and she says, then he kills Luke for the Ice Princess, without knowing Luke had already started cutting the diamond up and selling key pieces. Then when Victor examined it, it didn’t have the coded messages he needed. Valentin says, which led him to the necklace made out of pieces of the Ice Princess. And thanks to Robert, they have the diamond and the codes. She says, they’re obviously coordinates to this place Victor wants to find, and he says, they’re going to figure it out. Anna says, together.

Eileen sits down across from Victor, and says, sorry they quarreled. She slides a hotel room keycard across the table, and says, want to make up? He takes the keycard.

In the hallway, Marshall says he’ll be damned. He laughs and says, maybe Portia was right. She’s been suggesting he might not have schizophrenia. Could he have been misdiagnosed all those years ago? If so, why?

Trina asks Spencer and Laura if everything is all right; they look upset. Spencer says, Esme is going to Spring Ridge tonight. She’s taking his baby brother with her. Trina says, already? when the guard wheels Esme out, Ace in her arms. She says, Ace is coming with her, and Spencer says, for now. He asks if the baby will be warm enough; it’s cold outside. Laura says, he’s just going down to the transport van in the parking garage, but Spencer offers Esme the blanket. She says, no thanks, but Laura puts it in her lap, saying, it might be good to have an extra one around. Esme tells Laura that she can visit at Spring Ridge if she likes, and Laura says she’d like that. The guard wheels Esme and Ace into the elevator, and the doors close. Trina tells Spencer that she’s sorry, and says, maybe Esme will let him visit too, but he says, no. His baby brother isn’t going to be in there for long. He’s going to do everything in his power to keep that kid away from that lunatic.

Tomorrow, Curtis tells Nina that he can’t accept; Maxie tells Bobbie, somebody needs to do something about it; and Sonny asks what Gladys is doing with Miss Wu.

Vanderpump Rules

Charli and Katie did some hiking, but Katie said, they should have just gone to McDonald’s instead. This has absolutely nothing to do with anything, but I thought it was funny. In Raquel’s interview, she said, Havasu was infamous for Girls Gone Wild and spring break. So does that mean Fort Lauderdale is done? I never did a spring break, since I didn’t go to normal college. Ariana couldn’t believe Raquel said she wanted to make out with Schwartz, and in Ariana’s interview, she said, they’d been encouraging Raquel to go crazy and make mistakes, but not like that. Raquel told Ariana that it was unfair for Katie to determine who Schwartz went out or made out with, but she still felt bad. In her interview, Raquel said she and Katie were never close because Katie had beef with James. And Katie didn’t come to her puppy party. We flashed back to that, and I knew it would be the best part of the show, unless we saw Villa Rosa. Raquel said it was difficult to know what Katie was thinking and feeling because she had a good poker face. She said she told Scheana about the trip, even though Scheana wasn’t invited. Scheana called Lala, and told her that she took Katie off the list for the wedding, since she wasn’t invited on the girls trip. In Scheana’s interview, she said, they were going to have an epic wedding in Mexico. Fire dancers, steel drummers, maybe a mariachi band, but what they weren’t having was Katie’s bitchy ass. She told Lala that Katie made her feel bad about herself, but Lala wasn’t quite having it. She said, Scheana feigned empathy for Katie’s divorce, but was trying to facilitate intimacy between her best friend Raquel and Schwartz. Scheana said, Schwartz claimed if they did make out, Katie drove him to it, but I’m not so sure that’s what he said. In Katie’s interview, she said, Raquel was Zoolander and Scheana was Mugatu. Scheana needed to be taken out. She explained the reference, but I wasn’t interested enough to really absorb it. Raquel and Ariana went shopping, and Raquel tried on a bathing suit that made her look like when they block body parts out in a photo.  

Lisa played with grandson Teddy, and I wondered where the dogs were. In Lisa’s interview, she said she worshiped the ground that baby never walked on. She was loving having a grandchild, and made no bones about being a proud grandmother. She told Ken that she had an obsessive personality, like he didn’t know. She’d had drinks with the Toms, and was seriously worried about the Schwartz and Sandy’s situation. The whole thing was a fiasco, and they were at odds with Gregg. Ken wondered if the Toms should buy Gregg out, but Lisa said, where would they get the money. Ken suggested helping them, but Lisa said they didn’t want to get involved with another restaurant, and she didn’t want to invest 30% in something where the Toms were at the helm. In her interview, she said she didn’t want to be partners with them and be in a combative situation. Ken suggested they check in with the Toms and see how far behind they were. Lisa was hesitant to step on Gregg’s toes. He knew what he was doing, and said they couldn’t open for another month, but the Toms were paying the rent. Ken said, then Gregg had nothing to lose.

James and Ally met James’s mom Jacqueline for lunch. James said he didn’t drink in front of his mom, and in his interview, he said he wanted to respect that she’d been sober for 4 years. He didn’t think she was ever going to drink again. Jacqueline asked if Ally had met Raquel, and Ally said, they’d had a conversation. We flashed back to that, and Jacqueline said she liked that Ally and James had met organically. No one dragged Ally to a show to meet the DJ. In Ally’s interview, she said, her friend Zack had dragged her to one of James’s shows, and the rest was history. Jacqueline asked if James thought it was wise that he was drinking, but he said he was doing all right. In James’s interview, he said he wasn’t wise. If he was Yoda, he’d move to Budapest and be a monk, but he’s not. Jacqueline told him, proceed with caution; it’s a dangerous game. Ally admitted there had been a couple of nights, and in her interview, she said she and James met when he was sober, and she thought it was cool and mature. About a month in, he told her that he’d had a drink (which probably means at least several) on his birthday in Vegas. She started to wonder if she’d ever actually known him sober.

Schwartz & Sandy’s looked like a mess; stuff everywhere. Lisa and Ken stopped by with Puffy (!), and Sandoval said it would be nice when the bar was a well-oiled machine. Lisa said they were there to help. She and Ken had discussed it a lot, and if they wanted their investment in TomTom back, they could have it, along with an option to buy it back in a year. Ken said, it wasn’t something they especially wanted to do, but the money was there if they needed it, and wanted to buy out Gregg. In Sandoval’s interview, he said they’d put a lot of sweat equity into it. It didn’t seem fair to just their investment back, but it was getting to the point where they had to explore all their options. Lisa said, it they were totally f***ed, it was an option. She hoped they found another way, but they would know it was there.

The girls packed for their trip. They were spending the night in Vegas, and then driving the next day to Lake Havasu. Ariana went over dog Charlotte’s medication with Sandoval, and in Ariana’s interview, she said, Charlotte was her soul dog; her ride or die. They’d been together 18 years, longer than her and Tom. Charlotte had a seizure, and Charlotte’s dad was on doggy duty. Katie told Kristina that she couldn’t wait to leave, and told Kristina about Raquel asking Schwartz to make out. In Kristina’s interview, she said she was the only one not falling for Raquel’s innocent act. Everyone treated her like a baby, but that was an insult to babies. Lala came by Raquel’s apartment, and asked if she missed the friendship she and James had. She and Randall had fought all the time. Raquel said, when your in it, you’re emotionally invested, and can’t see things for what they are. Lala said, I’m being mind f***ed. Why am I not doing anything about it? Let’s have a baby. Raquel said that was the worst idea ever, then realized what a moron she was by saying that, but she recovered, telling Lala, maybe she didn’t see it because Ocean was supposed to be here. Lala said if she didn’t think that way, she’d be in a hole. She considered herself smart. How did she get here? Raquel said, it was hard to heal with all Lala’s legal battles, and Lala said, it was constant. She was getting buck wild on the trip. She hadn’t had sex with a new person in years; not since Ocean was conceived, not since 2020. In Lala’s interview, she said, their sex life declined once she got sober. Randall had commented to his assistant, Lala used to be kinky, fun, and sexy until she got sober. Raquel said they were on a mission to find somebody worthy enough for Lala.

Everyone met at the airport; no private jet this time. At the hotel, they were given a keycard with Lisa’s picture on it. The suite was humongous, and in Katie’s interview, she said she liked to be bougie when she traveled, but this was palatial. Thank God Lisa was their fairy godmother and hooked them up. Lala said she brought a surprise – a Schwartz piñata. Back in L.A., James and Ally got a pedicure. James said he felt mentally beaten up by everybody. He’d met with Lisa, and she’d asked if he didn’t think he’d moved too quickly, but he told her that he deserved to be happy. Ally said she got that it was quick, but you met the right person when you were meant to. James asked Ally if she liked him better sober or now, and she said she liked him better when he wasn’t drinking. James said he liked going out, and Ally said it was better when he was in control. But if everyone was concerned and having talks with him, maybe he should consider what they were saying. James insisted it wasn’t genuine. They hadn’t had time to see how he was now. He wasn’t falling off the rails. Ariana had to leave Vegas and go home because Charlotte was having breakthrough seizures. She’d seemed okay, then the vet called and said she was still having partial seizures. She wasn’t there mentally anymore. Lala said she wouldn’t regret going home, and in Ariana’s interview, she said, Charlotte had been there for half her life. She couldn’t wrap her head around what life would be like without her best friend. I got pretty teary during this, since I’ve been there. I even grieve over total stranger’s dogs.

The girls went to the Vanderpump Paris restaurant, where Katie’s mom joined them. In Katie’s interview, she said her mom has lived in Vegas for nine or ten years. Of course she was inviting her mom to dinner. She was an amazing daughter, and knew that bitch loves a martini. I don’t know when it became a thing to call your friends bitches (and your mom). Call me old-fashioned, but just no. Their server was Garcelle’s son Oliver, who said he’d lived in Vegas since 2018. Lala said he was her type of man, and in her interview, she said, they’d met at the Vanderpump Paris opening, but hooking up had been the last thing on her mind. Lately, she’d been feeling bad for her vagina. Lisa joined them, and they told her about Ariana’s dog. If anyone understands that stuff, it’s Lisa. I’ll bet Lisa gives her employees bereavement leave for pets.

Ariana hit the ground running, telling Sandoval to go straight to the vet. In Sandoval’s interview, he said, Ariana was never interested in having children, but if she could have given birth to Charlotte, she would have. Obviously, they knew at some point this day was coming, but now it was here, and he was concerned about how it was going to affect Ariana. He needed to be there in any he could. I thought about how much everyone hates him right now, and that made it doubly sad, but Puffy! Lisa asked if they’d met Oliver, and Oliver said just now. In Lisa’s interview, she said, Lala had a big ego, and was hurt when someone didn’t remember her, but in Lala’s interview, she said, if he was lucky, he’d remember her later. She didn’t give a f***. In Raquel’s interview, she said, the point of the trip was to meet cute guys and have fun. Oliver was charismatic, and his swagger was intriguing. Lisa asked Katie about the sandwich shop, and Katie said they still had to find a location. Lisa said, don’t look five doors down from SUR. It was 8 grand a month, and had a kitchen and patio. In Katie’s interview, she said, the most important thing they needed was a location. If Lisa found them a spot, she’d be indebted. She already promised Lisa her first born, and guessed it would have to be her soul this time. Lisa asked if she was going to Scheana’s wedding, and Katie said, no, but she did have a non-refundable room booked, so she might be in Mexico. Being a good mom, Teri told Lisa about the whole Raquel/Scheana/Schwartz thing, and Raquel babbled that Scheana had broached the subject, and the idea stayed in her head. Lisa said she still had to take some responsibility for it, and Teri said, Katie and Schwartz were technically still married and selling their home; it was an emotional thing. Katie might not show her emotions, but it was hard. In her interview, Katie said, what she was going through was hard. She didn’t think Raquel got it. Schwartz wasn’t just some dude she’d dated; he was family. If Raquel had to hear it from her mother, so be it.

Oliver joined the girls afterward at Discopussy, along with a few of his friends. In her interview, Lala said she didn’t know what his personality was like, but she wasn’t looking for a life partner. They talked kids and custody, and Oliver said he was separated. Lala and Raquel walked over to the bar, and Raquel said she was attracted to Oliver. In Raquel’s interview, she said she and Lala came on the trip to have the best time, and she likes Oliver too. In Lala’s interview, she said, it was strange that Raquel showed zero interest until she said, damn, he’s kind of fine. It wasn’t a pageant, but Raquel was treating it like one; she was in competition mode. Katie and Charli flirted with some guys at the bar, and Katie gave one her number. Raquel and Oliver danced and kissed, and in her interview, Lala said she didn’t give two sh*ts who Raquel was kissing, but be real. If it were a competition, she would have won, and they’d be rolling around in bed. She’s always the winner.

Next time, Schwartz suggests they be hooligans and have a guys night; Ally doesn’t want James to be around Raquel; Lala says she’d never trust Raquel with her man if Raquel was drunk; and Raquel says, thank God Lala doesn’t have a man right now. I imagine the next moment, we see fireworks.

🦁 Hear Me Roar…

Come visit tomorrow for a soap and tea party. Until then, stay safe, stay being strong, but flexible, and stay proceeding with caution if you decide to drink when everyone’s telling you that you’re a better person sober. It’s a dangerous game.