What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

General Hospital

Dex tells Josslyn that he has to say goodbye. He’s so sorry. She asks why he sounds like he’s leaving, and he says, because he is.

Sasha walks into the Home & Heart studio, and flashes back to when she was there last time. She introduces herself to a PA, who says her name is Julie, but they met last time. Sasha apologizes, but Julie says, there was a lot going on. Sasha says, that’s one way of putting it, and Julie asks how she’s doing. Sasha says she’s doing okay, and Julie welcomes he back, handing her a production schedule. Sasha asks if it’s cool if she goes on set to check everything, but Haven aka Morgan Fairchild tells her, no, it’s not cool. If Sasha thinks she’s going to work with someone as unstable as she is, she really is crazy.

Scotty asks N’neka for another martini, and Gladys comes to the bar. N’neka asks if she’d like another round, and Gladys says she’s done with seltzer. Scotch, straight up. She had to stay sharp up until now, for all the good it did her. Scotty looks the other way, and Gladys says, rude, when Cody comes out. He tells Gladys, that was an epic crash and burn, and she says, go away. He says, she’s in for a lot of cash. What’s the game plan? Does she have another garage she’s going to secretly sell? Gladys says, he cheated, but he says he didn’t even need to cheat. She’s a lousy poker player whose luck ran out a long time ago.

Anna arrives home, and hears something, so she draws her gun.

Sonny asks if something happened with Willow, but Michael says, she’s hanging in there; handling the chemo as well as can be expected. Sonny says, that’s good, and asks what brings him by. Michael says he needs things to change before it’s too late.

Anna scans the living room, when Valentin comes out of the kitchen. He says, don’t shoot, and she asks, why? He’s an intruder. He says, one that cooks, and kisses her.

Nina sees Drew at the hospital, and says she’s glad she ran into him. He rescued Aunt Liesl, and because of that, Willow now has a fighting chance. She’s really grateful. She thanks him, and he says she’s welcome. He’s really glad this is happening for Willow. All that’s left to do now is pray. She says she’s on it. Is everything okay, or… He says, since the SEC dragged him out of here? and she says, yeah, that.

Gladys thanks N’neka for the drink, when Mac and Felicia walk in. Felicia wonders if they should say hello, but he says he’d better not. Ever since he arrested Cody at the Nurses Ball, things have been tense between them.

Gladys excuses herself and Cody goes over to Scotty, who tells Cody to keep his grubby, sticky fingers off his wallet. Cody says he did not steal that damn bracelet; he was set up. Scotty says, by who? (It’s whom, Scotty) and Cody says, if Scotty agrees to represent him, he’ll tell Scotty. Scotty turns back to his martini.

Felicia and Mac sit at a table, and Felicia says she’s worried about Maxie. She sounded just awful on the phone. Mac says, at least she got someone to fill in for her. Who was it anyway? She tells him, Maxie didn’t say.

Haven says, this was not their agreement. Where is Maxie Jones? Sasha says, Maxie is sick, and asked her to fill in. She explained all of this to Haven’s producer. Haven says, no one told her, but Sasha says, her audience is going to love The Deceptor, and she’s more than capable of co-hosting the segment. Brook joins them, and tells Haven that she’s looking at the Face of Deception. Haven yells for someone to get her Russell – now. She leaves, and Sasha thanks Brook for the assist. She asks what Brook is doing here. She doesn’t work for Deception anymore. Brook says, Maxie didn’t tell Sasha? She’s back.

Josslyn asks where Dex is going, but he says he doesn’t know. He’s sorry, but he can’t stay in Port Charles. She says, of course (🍷) he can, but he says, not anymore. She says, the video of Sonny doing the Pikeman deal, the footage of Sonny breaking the law, he gave it to Michael, right? Then it’s only a matter of time. Willow will get the transplant, she’ll be fine. Then Michael will give the video to the Feds, and Sonny will be arrested. He says, Michael’s not turning Sonny in. Sonny’s not going to prison. She says, since when? and he says, since Michael backed out of their deal.

Michael thanks Sonny for throwing the SEC off Drew’s trail. It gave him time to find Liesl and bring her back home. He and Willow are forever grateful. Sonny says he’s just glad it all worked out, and Willow’s going to get the bone marrow transplant. Michael says, that’s why he’s here. Willow asked him to call off the war between them. Sonny says, it was never his war, and Michael says, she wanted Sonny to have a place in the lives of the people he loves. Sonny asks if Michael thinks he can do that, and Michael says, for Willow, and for his family; yes.

Sasha says she’s confused. Last week, Brook said she needed to be freed up to follow her passion. Brook says she realized it was a mistake. She loves this company, and there’s no reason why she can’t have it all, right? Music and Deception; she’ll make the time. Sasha says, that’s awesome, and welcomes her back. Lucy arrives, and says, it’s sweet of Brook to come support Sasha today, and Brook says, that’s what teammates do. Lucy asks if they joined some sort of sports team together, but Brook says, the Deception team. Lucy says she’s not following, but Sasha says, Brook is back at Deception. She already spoke to Maxie. Lucy says she just spoke to Maxie two minutes ago, and she didn’t mention anything about it, and Brook says, Maxie must have not realized it in her feverish state. Anyway, today isn’t about her. It’s about Sasha and her big comeback. Lucy asks if Sasha is absolutely sure she’s ready for all of this.

Walking with Russell, Haven says, the last time Sasha Gilmore was on this show, it was a disaster. She thought a doll was her dead baby. Russell says, that was almost a year ago. Maxie assured him that Sasha is strong enough. Besides, if she did freak out on camera, would that really be so bad? Their ratings were at an all-time high after Sasha’s breakdown. It reminded their viewers that anything can happen on live TV. Haven says, their ratings have been a little sluggish lately. Maybe they could make this work to their advantage. Uh… Not buying this. Maybe on a reality show, but not home shopping.

Scotty says, Cody wants his representation? and Cody says, should be an easy day, considering he’s innocent. Scotty tells him, says you, but unfortunately, Cody can’t afford him. Cody says he’s got 10K in his pocket that says otherwise, and Scotty says, that’s pocket money, so, no. Cody says, okay, fine. 20K. Scotty says he’s not interested, and walks away from the bar.

Felicia says she knew Mac had an ulterior motive. Not only did he say he’d come tonight, he picked The Savoy as well. He says he loves Holly, and of course (🍷) he wants to celebrate her safe return. What better place to do it at? She asks why they’re really here, when Scotty comes by, and says, two of his favorite people, pulling up a chair. Felicia says, since when? and Scotty says, mind if he joins them? He sits down, and Mac asks what they can do for him. Scotty says, for starters, why is Holly Sutton running around chloroforming people when she should be in a burn unit in Europe?

Nina says she’s sorry this is happening to Drew, and he says, it’s an ongoing investigation, and other than that, he’s uncomfortable discussing it with her. She says, understood, and he asks if she’s here to see Willow. She says, don’t worry. She’s not going into Willow’s room. The last thing she wants to do is upset Willow or Michael. She just feels better being close by. Has he ever wanted to go back in time for a redo? He says, once or twice, and she says, there’s a lot of things she would change. She loves her daughter. He says he believes that, and she says, all she wants is for the transplant to be a success so Willow can go back to her family. He says, a family Nina would love to be a part of, and she says, desperately.

Michael says, Willow made him see that by rejecting Sonny, he’s forcing some of his siblings to choose, and Sonny says, Donna and Avery? Michael says, Krissy too, to an extent. Dante’s the only one who can truly navigate this. It’s not fair to the rest of his siblings. He can tell them to have their own relationship with Sonny, but those are just words. Sonny says, what about Wiley and Baby Amelia? Does Michael feel the same way when it comes to them? Michael says, his kids should be able to know and spend time with their grandfather, and their aunts and uncles who love Sonny. That’s more important than his anger, so for the good of his family, he wants peace.

Josslyn asks Dex, Michael backed down? Of all the ways this could have gone down, Michael pulling the plug is probably the last one she expected. He says, him too, and she asks how Michael could do this to him. Dex says, Michael did it for Josslyn, and she asks what that means. He says, Michael did it for all of them. Michael doesn’t want Sonny going away to cause a permanent rift in the family, and it would have. She says, of course (🍷) it would have, but she thought they all agreed it was worth it. What is happening? This is so wrong. He says, it doesn’t matter. Right, wrong, whatever; Michael isn’t going to change his mind. She says she can’t believe this, and he says, this is the situation, and these are his options. He has to go. She says, then she’s going with him, but he says, no, she’s not.

Felicia says, the explosion at the hunting cabin was staged, and Scotty asks why Holly stole the Ice Princess necklace in the first place. Felicia says, because Victor ordered her to, and Mac says, he needed to find Mikkos’ hiding place in Greenland. Scotty says, those Cassadines. They like to keep things interesting, don’t they? If Holly survived this fake explosion, did the necklace survive as well? Felicia says, they wanted Victor to think it was destroyed while Holly figured out where Victor was holding Ethan, and Scotty asks where the necklace is now. Mac says, they don’t know. It was lost when the WSB sank the Haunted Star. Scotty says, that necklace is worth about 35 million clams, but Mac says, it’s worth nothing now that it’s gone. Scotty looks over at Cody.

Julie tells Haven, she’s on her way, and Haven says, excellent. She asks Russell, is it done? and he says, everyone on their social media is talking about Sasha’s appearance tonight and speculating what could possibly go wrong. She says, that’ll get them watching, and when they watch, they buy.

Sasha says she knows the last time she was here, she almost tanked the company, but Lucy says she’s worried about Sasha, not the company. She thinks it’s brave of Sasha to step up and take Maxie’s place, but if she’s not ready, she doesn’t have to do this. Lucy could do this segment in her sleep. Sasha thanks Lucy, and says, Lucy’s support means everything to her, but she’s the Face of Deception, and she’s a partner in the business. She really wants to pull her weight. Brook asks how it feels to be back here, and Sasha says, it was a little overwhelming at first, but she’s all right now. She keeps telling herself, this is an entirely different situation. She was self-medicating back then, she was deep in her grief for Liam, and then to be asked to model a baby carrier… Brook says, out of nowhere, and Sasha says she wasn’t prepared. Lucy says, no one would have been prepared. What they did was absolutely awful, but look how far she’s come. She’s doing so good, and Lucy is so proud of her. Brook says, if anyone tries to interrupt Sasha’s segment tonight, she’ll tackle them, and Sasha says she’d love to see that. They see Flora on the set, and Flora asks what on earth Sasha is doing here.

Selina says, the cards weren’t in Gladys’s favor tonight, and Gladys says she thought she had a strong enough hand, but then that damn Cody Bell with his flush. Selina says, Mr. Bell had luck on his side, and Gladys says, either that or he’s a cheater, but Selina says, no one cheats in the backroom. Gladys says, of course (🍷). She should be getting home. Selina says, not until they’ve discussed how she’s paying back the money she owes.

Scotty tells Cody, change of plans. He will represent him. Cody says he thought Scotty told him it wasn’t enough, and Scotty says, it’s chump change compared to what they’re going to get. He orders another martini.

Anna asks, what’s going on in her kitchen? It smells amazing. Valentin says his sauce is simmering, and he recently uncorked a bottle of very posh chianti. He’d like to let it breathe, but something tells him that she could use a glass. She says, just fill it to the brim please, and he asks, how was the briefing? She says, it went on forever. She feels like somewhere in the metaverse, she’s still answering questions. They wanted to know everything about Greenland, and Valentin’s father, and the pathogen… She’s very tired. He hands her the glass, and she says she just wants to drink wine and fall asleep in his arms. He says, that’s all? and she says, it depends on how good his pasta is. He kisses her, and the doorbell rings. She says, just ignore them, and they’ll go away, but it continues to ring insistently. She says, there are only two people who ring her doorbell like that. One is Obrecht, and the other is… She opens the door, and we say it together, Robert. Robert walks in, and says, word of advice. The next time she wants to pretend she’s not home, don’t leave the lights on.

Dex says, obviously, the idea of running away with Josslyn sounds amazing, but he has no one. She says, he has her, but he says, she knows what he means. He has no friends or family to fall back on. It’s just him and his skill set. She has this incredible family that not only loves her, they need her. Wiley and Amelia are the sweetest, and Wiley hero worships her. She thinks Wiley was more impressed by Dex, but he says he’s just some guy who used to be a soldier. She’s his Aunt Joss, who’s going to be a doctor. He can’t possibly be to her what she is to him. It would be incredibly selfish of him to say yes. She doesn’t need him as much as he needs her. She says she does need him though, but he says, she likes him and wants him, but she has so much else going on in her life – and that’s a good thing. If she came with him, it would be exciting at first; new identities, new lives… She says, they could make it work, and he says, for a while. Until one day she wakes up and realizes she doesn’t want to be a waitress named Trixie. She says she’d never pick the name Trixie, and he says, she’ll realize she misses her friends and her family; that she misses her life. And that will be his fault.

Selina says, Gladys gambled what she came in with, then dipped into Selina’s bank for $85,000. Gladys says she’s good for it, and Selina says she should hope so. Gladys asks if they can discuss a payment plan, but Selina says, she knows the rules. When players borrow from the house, payment is due at the end of the night. Gladys says she doesn’t have that kind of money at her fingertips, and Selina says, Sasha Gilmore does, and doesn’t Gladys control her daughter-in-law’s finances?

Flora says she’s so sorry. She had no idea she’d be seeing Sasha tonight. Lucy says, the feeling is very, very mutual, and Brook asks if one of her products is being featured. Flora says, a new line of bath salts called Change Your Moody. The little ones just love it, and the moms… Sasha says, it’s okay. Flora can talk about motherhood and babies in front of her. She’s so sorry for her behavior last time. Flora tells her, don’t you dare apologize. She felt terrible for Sasha and for the role she played, however unwittingly, in it all. Which begs the question, why would she of all people be asked to participate tonight? Brook looks at her phone, and says, because someone is trying to push Sasha over the edge.

Cody says, so Leopold’s necklace wasn’t destroyed in that explosion? and Scotty says, no, but due to the WSB’s itchy trigger finger, the jewels went to the bottom of the ocean. Cody says, so he’s back where he started, but Scotty says, that’s where he’s wrong because the necklace is part of Dominique’s estate, meaning Cody and Serina are owed a portion of that money. Cody says he agrees 100%, but regardless of how the necklace was lost, it’s still gone, and Scotty says, the WSB is the reason his and Serina’s big payoff went the way of the Titanic. Cody says, so Scotty is telling him… Scotty says, they sue the WSB.

Drew says he knows Nina thinks Carly is the reason she doesn’t have a relationship with Willow, but Nina says she actually just spoke with Carly about that… Drew says, obviously the reason was her treating Willow like dirt because Nina didn’t like her. Everything changed when Nina found out they were mother and daughter, but everything didn’t change for Willow. Nina says she gets it, and she’s given Willow more than one reason to be untrusting of her, but for the first time, her daughter asked something of her. Willow wants her to stop fighting with Carly, and Nina wants to give that to her, but she doesn’t know how to do it. If they could just start fresh… He says, Nina has to accept that’s just not an option.

Sonny says, peace is what he’s wanted, but he appreciates Michael meeting him halfway. Michael says he gives Willow credit, but Sonny says, it takes Michael too. He shouldn’t be surprised if Michael stepped up for the greater good. That’s why he gave Avery back at the end; he didn’t want to tear the family apart. Michael says, so they have an understanding, and Sonny says, when it comes to Michael’s siblings, and his kids, yeah, but what about when it comes to Nina?

There’s a mini remembrance of Jackie Zeman.

Dex asks Josslyn to talk to him, but she doesn’t know what to say. Dex tells her to say what she’s feeling, and she says she feels conflicted. Is she ready to give up all of her life to be with him? Is she ready to say that? He says he’d be worried if she wasn’t, and she says, but she likes him… a lot, and he says he likes her too. She says she wants to see where it could go. She doesn’t want this to be over, and she doesn’t want him to leave. But she really doesn’t want him to die, and doesn’t want him to spend the rest of his life in prison. He says, those are two possibilities if he stays in Port Charles, and she says, so yeah, she understands… conceptually. He needs to go, and probably should, but the thought of losing him hurts, and when she’s hurt, she gets very scared and anxious. He says he doesn’t want to lose her either, and pulls her close.

Watching Scotty and Cody talk at the bar, Mac says, it looks like Scotty is going to represent Cody, and Felicia asks if that’s a good thing or a bad thing. Mac says, for all his faults, Scotty’s a decent defense attorney, and she asks if that means he wants Cody to beat the charges. His phone rings, and he says, it’s the department. She says she’ll give Holly his regrets, and Mac leaves the table.

Gladys says she won’t steal from Sasha, but Selina asks if she didn’t already cross that line when Gladys sold her Brando’s garage. Gladys says, exactly; sold. She didn’t give it away. Selina says, they both know she didn’t pay market price, but Gladys says she can’t do that to Sasha again. Selina says, then they would appear to have a problem, and walks away.

Cody tells Scotty, the only thing they know is that the necklace belonged to Taub. They don’t know if he gave it to Dominique outright. Scotty says, either way, the money is Cody’s – and his sister Serina, who he’s going to share it with, right? Cody says, absolutely. Where do they start? Scotty tells Cody to come by his office tomorrow. He’ll have an affidavit for Cody to sign confirming he’s Taub and Dominique’s son. Cody looks over at Mac, giving Felicia a kiss goodbye.

Brook reads: the Face of Deception returns to H&H. Meltdown part two; stay tuned. Hashtag: Home&Heart. Home & Heart is implying Sasha is going to have another meltdown tonight on the air to get people to watch. Flora says, that’s despicable. She refuses to be part of a disgusting set-up. Lucy says, Haven and her producers better buckle up, because she’s about to take off, but Sasha grabs her arm, and says, don’t. Brook says, Sasha can’t be okay with this, and Sasha says, the more people watching, the more people view The Deceptor. It’s free publicity. Flora says, it’s exploiting Sasha’s mental health. Haven is obviously trying to rattle Sasha. Why else would she be here? They should just call the whole thing off. Sasha says, no. Haven is betting against her. Time to show her that she’s making a huge mistake.

Sonny says, Nina is part of his life. She’s not going anywhere. Michael says he understands that. He can even respect that, but he needs Sonny to respect the fact that Willow needs to decide what kind of relationship, if any, she wants to have with Nina. Sonny says, that’s fair, and Michael asks if he can get Nina to back off; help her understand that Willow is fighting for her life. Sonny says, nobody knows that better than Nina, and Michael says he’s asking Sonny to get her to stop pressuring Willow. I’m not understanding this, since she hasn’t been doing that, but okay. Sonny says he can’t tell Nina how to deal with her own daughter any more than someone can tell him how to deal with his. He has to give her that courtesy. Michael asks if he can at least not advocate for Nina, and not pressure him or Willow, and Sonny asks if Michael feels pressured. Michael says, openly, Sonny is too smart for that, but they both know he’s good at getting what he wants. Sonny shakes his head, and says he agrees to let Nina and Willow figure out their relationship on their own. Can Michael do the same? Michael says he can live with that, and Sonny nods. Michael says he should get back to GH. Sonny says, if Willow needs anything – and he means anything – he’s here. Michael thanks him, and Sonny says he’ll see Michael at the hospital tomorrow, and he wants Michael to know, they’ll keep their distance, but they don’t want to be kept from their family.

Nina asks if Drew thinks Carly will never forgive him, but Drew says he’s saying, you can’t erase the past, or wish it away. A quick fix doesn’t apply in this case, and to assume it does sabotages the future Nina says she wants. She follows him to the elevator, and says she does want it. He asks if she’s willing to work for it, and she says, whatever it takes. He says she’s got to be honest with herself, and he means really honest. And with everybody else, she has to acknowledge her mistakes, and maybe they’ll find a place for her in their lives. He goes into the elevator.

Josslyn tells Dex, stay. They’ll figure something out. He says, even if it means he continues working for Sonny? and she says, for now. Together, they’ll come up with a solution. Don’t give up on us. He says, okay. He can’t imagine never seeing her again. He’ll stay. She hugs him, and says, they’ll think of something, she promises.

Cody asks if an affidavit is really necessary, and Scotty says, it’s important they establish Cody is Leopold Taub’s son.  Felicia looks at her phone, and says, no, no, no. This is horrible. Cody asks, what’s wrong? and Felicia says, Sasha is going to be on Home & Heart tonight, and they’re promoting it by suggesting she’s going to have another breakdown. Cody says, he’s got to… and Scotty grabs him, saying, he’s still on board, right? Cody says, yeah, he’ll call Scotty tomorrow, and jets.

Gladys asks Selina how she’s supposed to get all that money together so quickly. It’s impossible. Selina says, there might be another way for Gladys to repay her debt. Well, we know it’s not by being a card shark.

On the Home & Heart set, Flora asks Sasha if she’s sure about this. They can bail at any time. Sasha says she’s sure, and Haven asks Julie if everything is set. Julie says, they’re a go, and Haven walks onto the set, saying, Flora, darling, what a lovely surprise. Flora says, is it though? and Haven asks what she means. Flora says, they both know exactly what she means. You little… The stage manager says, five, four, three, two, one, action, and Haven welcomes everyone back to Home & Heart. She introduces herself, and says, tonight she has two very special guests: Flora Gardens and Sasha Gilmore. Sasha thanks Haven for having her, and says, her viewers are in for a treat. Haven says she hopes so.

Anna tells Robert that she just got off of a long flight. She’s very tired and it would be great if he wasn’t here. He picks up the bottle of wine, and she says, or she supposes he could just help himself to a glass of wine. He pours a glass, and says, it’s nice to see Valentin made it out all in one piece. Valentin says, thanks to the lovely Anna, and Robert says he heard all about the heroics – he nearly drains the glass – dashing into the chamber of death to save his sorry carcass – again. Valentin says, they take turns. Sometimes she saves him; sometimes he saves her. Sometimes they get trapped together, and they like to mix it up. Robert says, next time, do it by himself, and leave Anna out of it, and Anna says she chose to go on the rescue mission. Valentin says, as much fun as this is, he has to put the pasta on, and Robert says he likes his al dente. Valentin says he has no idea why he’d need to know that, and goes into the kitchen. Anna says, Robert needs to stop. She knows what he’s going to say. He says, good. Let’s say it together. Anna Devane, what were you thinking?

Michael comes out of Sonny’s office, and Sonny says he’s going to light a candle for Willow. Michael says, Willow will appreciate that… and he does too. He’ll see Sonny tomorrow. Sonny says, tomorrow, and Michael leaves.

Haven says, this is Sasha’s first television appearance since last year, and Sasha says, it is. Haven asks how she’s holding up, and Sasha says she’s fantastic, and she’s thrilled to introduce Deception’s newest product, The Deceptor. Flora says she’s still using her Deception products, and just loves them, and Sasha says she’s happy to hear that. Haven says, but it must have been a trying year for Sasha, but Sasha ignores her, and says, and now meet The Deceptor wand. Flora asks what it does, and Sasha says she’s glad Flora asked. It will help any woman at any age look her absolute best. Flora says, they could all use that, is she right? Haven says, absolutely, and a baby’s cry comes through Sasha’s earpiece.

Tomorrow, Carly says, Nina will have to do it on Willow’s terms; Haven tells Sasha, all eyes are on her; Robert asks if Anna shouldn’t be putting her family first; and Felicia asks if Holly is back in Port Charles for good.

Below Deck Sailing Yacht

Daisy cries in the bathroom as primary John looks for her. In her interview, she says she’s so frustrated, if didn’t cry, she’d set the boat on fire. The last thing she wants is another complaint. Gary radios that the guests decided to wait another half hour before going to the beach, and Daisy says, it’s more time for Lucy to do nothing. On the beach, Lucy and Alex do yoga poses. In Madison’s interview, she says, Daisy seems stressed, and she wants to help the situation. Alex tells Lucy that when they get to the beach, they’ll find two skeletons in pink shirts. The guests are finally ready, and Gary radios that they’re coming. He drops the guests off, and goes back for the food. The guests play football, while on the boat, Ileisha gets whole fish instead of the fillet she wanted. In Ileisha’s interview, she says doesn’t mind fileting a fish, but a giant monkfish is going to take her whole prep time. She hopes the primary is going to be happy. Some of the beach food is chicken wings, and Lucy finds there was no bowl packed to put the bones in. In Alex’s interview, he says he feels bad for Lucy. It’s a no brainer to pack a bowl for bones. Somebody is dropping the ball. Young guest Jacob takes a spill backward in his beach chair, taking the wings with him, and John says, it all ended up on the ground anyway. Lucy texts Daisy that John is complaining, and Daisy says she’s so over this. She tells Glenn that John has been complaining a lot.

John says, the beach excursion like when you’re at a nice resort, and want to go to town, but then when you get to town, you want to go back to the resort. Gary thinks it’s not that stressful, and in Daisy’s interview, she says, Gary is in his own . At the end of the day, complaints come back to the interior. He doesn’t give a sh*t how she feels. Gary radios that the guests want to head back, and Daisy says she hates people and hates her life. Lucy tells Alex, she’s glad they enjoyed it – she didn’t. Ileisha cuts her finger open, and in her interview, she says she should know better. She’s no stranger to injuries when she’s rushing. She nearly cut her thumb off one time, and had to go to the hospital. You have to suck it up, and shake it off. She puts a glove on over her bandage, and moves on to making pasta dough. Gary harasses Chase about not being on time, and in Chase’s interview, he says, the time isn’t what Gary told him yesterday. Even when he’s right, he’s wrong. Lucy tells Daisy about having to pick chicken wings out of the sand, and Daisy says she’s pissed at the boys. It feels out of control. John tells Daisy that they’re celebrating his book release tonight, but he has awards to give everyone else. He gives her certificates to fill out for him, and Glenn puts up the sails. Things start falling, and Ileisha says, not the beans. John says, they’ve arrived in life, and Gary tries to sweettalk Mads, but in her interview, she says she thinks he’s got the wrong one. The affection and love bombing are cringy to her. Gary doesn’t get her at all. Daisy tells Gary about the awards ceremony, and he offers to emcee. Guest Lauren asks if they have a steamer, and Lucy takes two dresses to steam. As Lucy is using the steamer, it melts off part of a dress, and Lucy says, her mum would be so disappointed in her.

Lucy says, Lauren’s husband got stitches, and now she’s ruined Lauren’s f***ing dress. Since she’s trying to take a shower, Daisy comes down in a towel, and Lucy tells her what happened. Daisy says, they can reimburse her, and Mads tells her, it says you can iron it on the label; it shouldn’t have done that. Personally, I think maybe Lucy held it too close. Daisy says, she’ll apologize, and in Daisy’s interview, she says she has to tell the guests, and there will be more sh*tty feedback from Glenn. Her anxiety is sky high. Glenn reminds Gary that they’re eating with the guests, and also tells Ileisha, who luckily has enough food. Gary reminds Daisy that he’s eating with the guests, and Daisy curses her life. She tells Lauren about the dress, and that they’ll reimburse her for it, and after an initial, oh my God, Lauren is cool with it. Gary tells Daisy that she creates a stressful environment, and in Lucy’s interview, she says, the tension between Gary and Daisy is going to spill into the rest of the crew. She hopes they sort their sh*t out soon. A gelato/drinks station is set up on the flybridge, and the stews make out the certificates. The guests are seated for dinner, and John tells Glenn that Gary has charisma😐and Gary talks about the town he grew up in. John asks about the name Parsifal, and Glenn says it’s originally from King Arthur. A German composer had named an opera after a knight, and the owner took it from that. In Glenn’s interview, he says, it’s too long between courses. He’s trying to distract the guests, but senses annoyance. Gary says he’s a momma’s boy, which is no surprise, and John blabs about the real estate he owns, which is no surprise either. Colin tells Ileisha to take a deep breath; the guests are happy with the food. Daisy tells the girls not to touch the dry ice at the gelato station, giving me flashbacks of a Halloween party my roommate and I once had. We ended up nixing dry ice because there were so many warnings, and we feared a tragedy. After dinner, Glenn thanks the guests for including him and Gary, and Daisy calls the crew to the flybridge for help. Gary hides and has a cigarette, and Colin says, it’s a d*ck move. Gary pretends he didn’t know, but in his interview, he says he doesn’t give a sh*t. He’s chief officer, and he’s going to have a smoke if he wants one. He thought Colin was on his side. Daisy wonders, WTF is going on?

In Chase’s interview, he says, if he hid on the boat, it wouldn’t be fine with Gary, but he has more important things to do, like work. The guests go to the flybridge, where caramel, peach, chocolate, and pistachio gelato await. Sigh… Daisy tells the guests that John organized a surprise, and turns it over to Gary. John is given the best book away, and swears he didn’t make it for himself. Jacob and Anastasia get the Straight A Student awards, and Natalia gets Best Accent award. There are probably more, but we don’t see that. Daisy complains to Colin about Gary, but Colin tells her, it’s not worth it. In Daisy’s interview, she says, if it weren’t for Colin, she would feel alone. No one gives a sh*t. Colin hugs her, and says, she’s doing a good job; she’s a great chief stew. In Colin’s interview, he says, considering how close Gary and Daisy are, he’s shocked at Gary’s behavior. Gary can go f*** himself. It’s finally bedtime for all, and in Chase’s interview, he says, anchor watch isn’t his favorite, but he had a sh*t job pressure washing dump trucks for $10 an hour, so he appreciates how easy the work is. He feels like he’s crushing it.

Last day of charter. Ileisha makes a watermelon fruit bowl, and I’m dying here. John asks for a bloody Mary and wonders if it’s not the tail of the cat. Is that a colloquial thing, or is he just way off? Anchor is home, and Alex says, Daisy seems happier. She made it through another round. She says, hanging by the skin of her teeth. Anchor is dropped, and John wonders if Glenn will take a selfie with him. Then as Glenn tries to listen to docking instructions, John keeps talking and talking and talking. In Glenn’s interview, he says, communication during the last meter and a half is critical. I’d be telling John to f*** off already.  

Somehow, Glenn manages to dock, and the crew lines up for goodbyes. John says, it was more of an adventure than he’s intended, but they took care of TJ the best they could. He didn’t think he’d smile after that, but then they dressed up like the Spice Girls, and he felt guilty for smiling. They’re the greatest small time yacht crew. He gives Glenn the tip envelope, the crew waves, and Glenn toots the horn. Daisy thinks the guests were happy at the end, but it was overwhelming. The boys pissed her off, and made her feel like she did a sh*t job. Ileisha says, she thinks Daisy did the best she possibly could. Daisy tells her that Gary said it was the best charter yet, but she didn’t know if he was being sarcastic, or just said it to piss her off. It was a d*ck move. He’s a f***ing wanker.  

At the tip meeting. Glenn says, it wasn’t the easiest charter. With what went wrong, the big one was TJ’s injury. Gary says he doesn’t know how they could have avoided it. Glenn suggests keeping a better eye on things, but Gary says, once the guests are out there and get close to each other, it’s out of the their hands. They can’t rely on the guests’ common sense. Glenn says, the 90s party was a real hit, and Daisy thanks everyone for pitching in. Glenn says he’s gotten an interesting perspective on Ileisha’s food from eating with the guests. She’s moving in the right direction, but the hold up between courses is longer than he was expecting. Ileisha says she’ll work on it, and Daisy says, they’re trying their hardest with the resources given. Glenn says he just wants them to give it some thought. He doesn’t mean work harder, but work smarter. It’s not about the first 95%, but the last 5% they should be pushing for. He asks for Daisy’s input, but she asks if they can move on and talk later. Glenn says, sure, and asks how Lucy and Mads feel. Lucy says, they were challenged… and Daisy leaves the room, starting to cry. Glenn says, they’ll put it on pause for a minute.  

Gary goes after Daisy, who says she just needs five minutes. She’s trying. Gary says he knows. The girls are grateful for her. He hugs her, and Daisy says she’s sick of hearing her f***ing name, and being asked questions she can’t answer. In Gary’s interview, he says, Daisy annoys the f*** out of him, but he feels protective. He doesn’t like seeing her break down. Glenn finds Daisy, and tells her to take a moment. She says she knows it’s not a personal attack, but she feel personally responsible. In Daisy’s interview, she says she’s embarrassed that she lost control emotionally. She feels off her game. She’s doing the best she can, but she’s human and there’s only so much crap she can take. The meeting reconvenes, and Glenn says he doesn’t want to open another can of worms, but is there anything anyone wants to discuss? Colin says, everyone is doing a fantastic job, but they can all improve. Glenn isn’t talking about anyone’s shortcomings; it’s just constructive criticism. In Colin’s interview, he says he’s kind of taken aback. His first charter was stressful, but you didn’t see him crying. It’s about the whole crew, not just Daisy. The tip is $23K, or 2250 euros each, and makes everything okay again. In Alex’s interview, he says, it was just what they needed. Nothing cuts the tension like $23K. Glenn says he’s organized a tasting menu for them at a restaurant; the tender will drop them off. Daisy tells the girls that Gary has no f***ing clue about the pressure, and on deck, Chase tells Colin that he thinks Daisy is just stressed. Colin says, that’s why he was trying to back her up. Gary says he didn’t ask to be invited to dinner, but Colin tells him that taking a smoke break was a d*ck move. It wasn’t cool. Gary gets up and walks away, saying he’s over it. Colin says, Gary has to lead by example. Chase says, their department heads are all imploding; they’re all stressed. Daisy tells Gary to go f*** himself, and Chase says he’s glad he’s not the boss. It isn’t nice.  

Next time, the crew’s night out; Mads toasts to her and Alex; Gary asks if Mads is interested in him; Chase says he’s not taking the fall for Alex; a repeat charter; and smoke from the engine.

Summer House

Is it over yet?

Carl says he’s sick of this sh*t, and tells Kyle that Robert was bugging him about Danielle. Robert tells Danielle what Carl said, and how he was grouping her in with the girls. Danielle says she’s done, for the ten millionth time. Carl whines that the most important thing in his life was ruined because he didn’t do something he shouldn’t do. He’s so f***ing mad. Kyle suggests he take a breath, and Carl asks why it’s such a big deal. He and Lindsay moved in together and bought a car together. He told Danielle he was ring shopping; the writing was on the wall. There are bigger things to be upset about. Grow the f*** up. Kyle tells him that everyone else questioned his every move. Should he be doing a start-up? Should be with Amanda? It’s just human nature; people question everything. I hate when one of the people that’s usually an a-hole is the voice of reason. Carl says he gets it, but doesn’t know what to do about it. He ruined his own thing. He didn’t do what they wanted, and made Danielle feel horrible. He ruined a friendship with one decision. Lindsay comes out, and asks, what the hell happened? and Kyle says, Carl needed a minute. Carl says he ruined all kinds of things, and Lindsay suggests the go to South Hampton Social, where their real friends are. Kyle says he’s just hanging out and not a friend, and Carl says he didn’t like hurting anyone’s feelings. They leave, and Kyle tells Robert that Carl felt like he ruined the engagement, and they just left. Lindsay came up in a huff and puff, and decided they should go to South Hampton where they have friends. They do Jameson pickle backs, and Craig says he’s having fun, but it’s a little tense. He gets the gist of everything, and that they think it feels rushed. When he talked to Paige at Kyle’s birthday, it wasn’t until she started crying that he wondered what was going on. To Paige, getting engaged meant them moving in and her leaving her mom. He realized they had more to work out. He thought love was enough. Ciara suggested he stop fantasizing. She wants to meet someone to settle down with, but she’s strategic in how she dates. Craig says she was systematic. She moved to the city by herself and proved she didn’t need someone, but it’s fun to have someone to watch your shows with at night. Ciara says she wants to partner with a best friend, and she’s getting older. This summer she’s feeling older. Craig says, maybe there’s another Craig out there for her, and in Ciara’s interview, she says she’d love to meet someone, but fears she won’t, and it’s crippling. But it’s all in God’s timing and trusting in it. What’s meant to come to her will come, and she’s got to get herself ready in the meantime.

The group goes back to the house, Kyle puts on music, and they dance all over the place, including on the kitchen island. Yuk. In Chris’s interview, he says, when the summer is over, he’s going to miss these crazy nights. They’re dysfunctional, but they’re a family. He’s having fun with the people he’ll build experiences with that will last a lifetime. Ciara, Mya, and Paige push their beds together to make a megabed. In the morning, Carl and Lindsay aren’t back yet, Robert says goodbye, and – oh my God my eyes! – we see Kyle’s ass for the 4738^th time. Everyone struggles to get up, and Mya says, you’d think the quiet would be good, but it’s not. It means a storm’s brewing. Amanda tells Kyle, it looks like no one was ever in Carl and Lindsay’s room. She doesn’t think they want to go on the boat today. He says, it’s been challenging, and he’s tired of being the ringbearer… He means ringleader. Amanda tells him to call Carl, and Carl asks, what’s going on? like nothing is different. Kyle asks if he and Lindsay will be joining them, but Carl says, they’re not going to make the boat. They’re with a friend of Lindsay’s where they spent the night. They thought it best to take themselves out of the toxicity. Lindsay thinks Danielle’s negativity is overwhelming, and right now, she’s the only source of negativity in their lives. Kyle says he’s sorry that’s how they feel. He asks if they’re coming back at some point, but Lindsay says she’s over the situation with Danielle. It’s best they’re not there, but it doesn’t seem like anybody cares. They think it’s best to take a break. Kyle says he’s not going to push them, but keep in touch. He hopes they come to the party tomorrow. Amanda says she feels bad that it went this way, and in Kyle’s interview, he says, if there was any hope of reconciling, he thinks it would be the opposite of what they’re doing. It’s like an F-U to the rest of them. He’s very discouraged. Word travels quickly about Carl and Lindsay not coming back for the boat, and Kyle says, they might not come back at all. They’re pushing their own snowball down the mountain. Paige says, Lindsay doesn’t need Danielle, so Danielle is now a non-factor. She has Carl now, and Danielle is angry and upset.

Kory arrives, and picks Sam up, kissing her. He says he’s running on fumes, and in Sam’s interview, she says, he gives her butterflies. When he walks in the room, she’s got to pee like a puppy. She’s been seeing him a lot and she’s not sick of him. It’s been a long time since she felt that way. They make food to take on the boat, and in Paige’s interview, she says, they’re keeping the Lindsay energy alive; all the men have to make their own sandwiches today. There are two boats, and they divide up. The small boat looks like a Fisher Price toy, and Kyle says he feels that this is a blazer moment. In Mya’s interview, she says, she’s here to enjoy the day with her friends, and got a weird DM asking if she and Oliver are exclusive. Who the f*** would be asking her status? She knows something is going on, but doesn’t know how to react. Gabby says her parents bought a house in Texas, and Paige asks if she’s freaking out. Gabby says she’s unwell, but trying not to put her feelings on them. She’s losing them, but she’s gained friends. She’ll be co-dependent in a whole new way. Chris makes Kyle do the Titanic pose on the bow of the boat.  

Carl and Lindsay come back to get their stuff when everyone is gone, and Carl puts something over the camera. A producer breaks the fourth wall, and tells him they need footage of them packing. Lindsay says she knows he’s pissed off, but they can’t just vanish. They have to show what’s happening. On the boat, Kyle toasts to Carl and Lindsay’s engagement, and Chris toasts to Danielle. In Carl’s interview, he says, the support they got was drowned out by the negativity. It’s best for them not to be here. Lindsay takes her pineapple upside down cake with them, which is pretty high on the tacky scale. Carl says he’s packing his sh*t and moving on to another pasture.

The remaining housemates come back, and Amanda says, there were two cakes, and one of them is gone. Danielle laughs, and Kyle says, that’s savage. Paige says, she respects the f*** out of that move, and Gabby says, all their stuff is gone. Sam thinks it was a dramatic reaction, and she doesn’t want them to look back and think they should have said goodbye. Their beef is with Danielle, but they’re not Danielle. Kory and Chris find cowboy hats that were left behind and parade around in them. Amanda blames Danielle, and Paige tells her, grow up. Kory and Chris pretend to be Crocodile Dundee, and Ciara asks if they’re not coming back. Amanda says, the cake is gone, which I guess is a definitive answer. Chris and Kory show off the hats, but Danielle says, they can do better than this, making them put the hats back. Amanda tells Mya that Chris and Kory were having fun with the hats, and Danielle says, it was stupid and weird. In Danielle’s interview, she says, as much as she hates that they moved out and she wasn’t part of the engagement, she’s still love them and is loyal. It feels permanent, like it’s an end; an ending she didn’t want. Ciara says, Danielle is still protecting them, even though they’re gone, and Mya says, people need to calm the f*** down. In Mya’s interview, she says, she thinks Danielle is consumed with what’s going on with Lindsay, since she’s been supportive of Lindsay in the past. Ciara says, Danielle is brainwashed and scared of Lindsay, and Kyle tells Danielle that he’s seen her go to bat for Lindsay for years. Danielle says, to a fault. She understands the engagement isn’t about her, but she thought there was a glimmer of hope that Lindsay hadn’t known she was left out. Lindsay knew and was good with it. That she doesn’t matter to them is a blatant stab in the heart while looking her in the eye. Craig says, the second Danielle wasn’t useful, she was cut out of Lindsay’s life. Carl is a great guy, but his is all happening because of Lindsay. She’s the poison. Agreed.

Craig and Chris prepare packaged sushi, which is good, since they’re way too drunk to be making it themselves. Craig says he’s happy that him dating someone pulled Kory into a place where he found someone he likes. He makes Kory says he likes Sam, and Paige wonders why there are shoes in the pool. Kyle says, the only rule tonight is, if you don’t like something, throw it in the pool. Craig explains how to make a maki roll, and thanks them for having him back. They play a game of charades using sexually related references like skinny dipping and striptease. When Chris and Gabby try to depict missionary, they get it backward. I fear for our future. In Paige’s interview, she says they’re having one of the most fun nights without Carl and Lindsay. Carl and Lindsay don’t want be stupid with them. Paige tells Craig not to throw a chair in the pool, and Craig says, before he got here, anything they didn’t understand, they threw in the pool. No surprise, he throws the chair in the pool. He goes inside and calls his mother to tell her happy birthday. Elsewhere in the house, Kyle lifts weights, and says, s*ck my wiener. I’ve mentioned he’s 40, right? Sam and Kory slip into the closet for a quickie. Chris comes by, listens for a second, laughs, and moves on. When they come out, Sam’s hair looks perfect, so it can’t have been that great. Craig tells the girls that he was crying over stuff, but he’s good. Everyone sees there’s something wrong except the one person he wants to see it. Oh, I get it. It’s passive/aggressive time.

Paige follows Craig, and asks what she did. He says, every time he’s sad or has a feeling, she tells him to stop being a p*ssy. He tells Kyle that he missed his mom’s birthday, and he’s sad. She’s been a solid rock in his life. Kyle says Craig has others, the company and Paige, but Craig says, sometimes he feels alone. After Paige throws her guts up, Paige and Craig take Lindsay and Carl’s room, and Craig says he feels better. Kyle wakes up Amanda, who asks why he always wakes her up, which is exactly what I’d been thinking. She tells him that he’s on her sh*t list.

In the morning, the girls commiserate about the summer almost being over. Paige comes in and says, Craig was trying to hug her all night. Now he wants her to shower with him. He always acts dramatic, and it’s her fault. He gets mad because she’s not sensitive. Ciara says, while Paige was throwing up was not the time to be an attention whore. In Paige’s interview, she says she gets Craig is having an emotional whirlwind, but crying on a Saturday night because he misses his mom? And then he says she’s not comforting enough. Where was he when she was throwing up his dinner. The girls laugh, and Craig finally wanders in to get Paige, who says, he’s so dramatic sometimes.

Drinking commences immediately in the morning, and Amanda digs around in the freezer for her face roller. Gabby volunteers to do the inflatables and jungle juice, and Sam says she’ll do the lanterns and smaller decorations. They all work on setting up for the party, and Paige instructs Craig to make the door look like a lion’s mouth the guests will walk through. Amanda tells Kyle that her body knows it’s the last weekend. She doesn’t think she should feel like this after just a few drinks yesterday. Kyle says, Craig was in tears. He thinks Craig is realizing the possibility of an engagement is further away then he thought. He doesn’t know what to tell him. Lindsay and Carl come up the drive, and Lindsay says, it’s the last time they’ll be driving up this driveway this summer. They go into the house.  

Next time – finally, the finale – goodbye to the summer of ’22; a conga line; Craig says his ultimate goal is to get closer to an engaemtn; Mya asks why Olivier cheated on her; Kyle tells Amanda that Lindsay doesn’t think her friendship with Danielle is repairable; and Danielle calls Lindsay a monster.

🍀 Here’s Hoping…

Catch the Ryan’s Hope reunion on May 17^th at 3 pm.

Don’t Miss a Very Special RYAN’S HOPE Reunion!

🌳 Don’t Shake My Tree…

Join me tomorrow for soap and those awful women in New Jersey, because the Hamptons isn’t enough. Until then, stay safe, stay making sure others know you appreciate them, and stay remembering, nothing cuts the tension like $23K.