What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

General Hospital

In the park, Cody asks Sam if she’s sure he’s coming, and she says, he’ll be here. Cody says he can think of one reason he wouldn’t be, but she says she didn’t tell him the reason. Spinelli arrives, and greets Sam. Cody says, long time, and Spinelli says, Sam knows there’s little he can refuse her, so clear up this moment of confusion. Last he checked, she didn’t trust Cody as far as she could throw him. What changed? Cody asks if Spinelli’s illegal algorithm told him that, and Spinelli says, funny. Without threat of physical violence or blackmail, he has no reason to employ it. Cody says he thinks Spinelli was employing it long before he got to town, and Spinelli says he doesn’t need an algorithm, proprietary or otherwise, to tell him that Cody is no stranger to their system of jurisprudence. Cody says, wasn’t Spinelli best friends with Sonny’s old business partner? He’s pretty sure that guy was no stranger… Sam says, enough, both of them. Deciding which of them is the best criminal mastermind is not their major concern right now. Spinelli asks, what is? and she says, catching the person who is the bigger criminal mastermind than the two of them combined.

Sasha, Lucy, Maxie, and Gladys are at the MetroCourt Gardens, and Sasha says she feels sorry for Brook. She’s been at the hospital worried sick, and now on top of that, she has to miss this meeting. Maxie says, she’s been the poster child for professional dedication since Lucy hired her back, but Lucy says, Maxie hired her back. Maxie says, of course (🍷) she’s happy to have Brook back, but she’s pretty sure… Sasha says she hopes Ned makes a speedy recovery. The situation is hard on everybody, but Brook told her that Leo is really struggling. Maxie says, Brook told her that he was hiding out in the stables, and Gladys says, the kid lives in a humongous mansion, and chooses to hide in a smelly stable with the horses? Maxie says, anyway, she said Cody was there, and managed to talk Leo down. Sasha says, Cody has a gift for calming people down. Must come from working with horses. Gladys says, please. The only thing worse than horse crap is the person who shovels it. Sasha tells her, give it a rest. Gladys doesn’t know the first thing about Cody Bell.

In Dr. Navarro’s office, TJ tells Molly, the speed with which ultrasound results are interpreted doesn’t mean anything, good or bad. She’s young, she’s healthy. Chances are her ovarian reserve is high. She says, he’s right; there’s nothing to worry about. The doctor walks in, and Molly says, so what’s the word? How many eggs are they working with?

Doing paperwork at the club, Curtis flashes back to confessing to Portia that he kissed Jordan. He hears the door open, and says, we’re closed. Trina asks if there’s any exception for family, and he says, always. What a nice surprise. Can he get her anything? She says she’s good, and he asks, what brings her by? She says, him and her mom. What happened between the two of them yesterday?

There’s a knock at Jordan’s office door, and she says, come in. Portia walks in, and Jordan asks what she can help Portia with. Portia says, help her understand what on earth possessed Jordan to kiss her husband.

Sam tells Spinelli, the hope is, once they’ve compiled the evidence and presented it to Gladys, she’ll feel compelled to exonerate Cody. Spinelli says, quick query. Is Cody’s freedom the only thing at stake here? Because it’s not the greatest usage of his expertise. Sam says, there’s more, and Cody asks how much Spinelli knows about Gladys Corbin. Spinelli says, quite a bit actually. Gladys is cousin to Sonny Corinthos’s late father Mike Corbin. Former resident of Bridgeport, Connecticut, where she was employed as a waitress, so limited financial resources. As a result, Gladys became somewhat mercenary; some might say avaricious. To wit, a claim that her son Brando was dead to collect insurance payments, got involved with Cyrus Renault, perjured herself when she claimed she saw Jason Morgan dispose of the gun that killed Franco Baldwin. In short, without the offices of her late son Brando and her daughter-in-law Sasha, Gladys’s presence in Port Charles would likely not be tolerated. Cody says, it’s the daughter-in-law he’s worried about. Sasha had a very public breakdown after back-to-back devastating losses. She’s been working really hard at building back her life, and she’s been leaning on Gladys because she’s Brando’s mother, but Gladys doesn’t deserve Sasha’s trust. He didn’t even know about the insurance fraud or framing the guy for murder, but just watching Gladys messing with Sasha’s finances is enough for him. Sasha has no idea who her mother-in-law really is, and if they don’t expose Gladys, she’s going to get hurt. Sam says, which is why she thinks they can put aside their differences, and use their collective powers for good. Cody says he’s not going to lie… Spinelli says, that would be a refreshing change, and Cody says he stands to benefit also. If the trial should go against him, and he’s convicted of theft, he’s been through worse. Sasha’s the one at risk here. Spinelli asks why he cares, and Cody says, unlike him, Sasha’s a good person. He messed with Spinelli – there’s no doubt – but he’s sorry. Please don’t let his totally justified anger at Cody keep him from helping Sasha. They can’t pull this off without his help. Spinelli says, for fair Samantha, and Sasha, and Sam says, he’ll help them keep the law from riding Cody out of town on a rail. Spinelli says he’ll rustle up the real outlaw.

Gladys says she knows one thing about Cody Bell, and it’s all she needs to know; he’s a thief. Lucy asks, what happened to innocent until proven guilty? and Maxie says she had her reservations about Cody, but she’s really warmed up to him. He’s got this low-key self-confidence thing she really likes. Not to mention, he’s great with kids. Liesl said he and James were sharing a sundae together the other day. Gladys says, so nobody’s bothered about the crime Cody committed against her, or Sasha? Or the good people of Gelhorn Jewelers? Sasha says she cares, but this is a business meeting, which means they should talk about the numbers for The Deceptor. Maxie says, happily. Demand for The Deceptor is outpacing supply. They need to find a new supplier who can handle that type of volume. Lucy says, exactly. And they need to do it before the new product is in the hopper. Gladys says, new product? and Lucy says, it’s so top secret for now. Gladys says, in that case, she’ll let them talk confidential business. She has an important meeting… with a cocktail. She leaves, and Sasha says she’s sure Gladys didn’t mean to be rude… Actually, she probably did. She apologizes on Gladys’s behalf. Lucy says she doesn’t think anybody would call Gladys an assistant type, but she sure is quick to get her little feelings hurt. Maxie says, let’s be real. Gladys can dish it, but she sure can’t take it. She can’t believe the things Gladys was saying about Cody.

Trina says, everyone was enjoying Curtis’s birthday party. For the first time in a long time, things just felt… perfect. Curtis says he knows; he felt it too. Trina says, so what happened? One minute, things were fine. The next minute, her mom runs out. She can’t even get her mom to talk to her. He says, she hasn’t heard from her mother?

Gladys goes to the pool, when her phone rings. She asks, who’s this? and Cody says, don’t hang up. It’s Cody Bell. She says, there’s no escaping him today, and he says, weird, but okay. She asks what he wants, and he says, to meet up. She says, what for? and he says, it’s for her benefit. She says, what’s for her benefit is a strawberry daquiri – she signals the waiter – at the MetroCourt pool. He says, for breakfast. That’s classy. She says, there’s fruit in it. (Ha-ha!) She’s hanging up. He says he should probably take what he knows about her and go directly to Sasha anyway. Enjoy her breakfast. She says, okay, let’s hear it. Come tell her what he thinks he has. Sam says, Cody gets to make a splash at the MetroCourt pool again, and Spinelli says, without a parachute this time.

Trina says, she and her mom have been in touch, but when she asked about yesterday, her mom said it’s between her and Curtis. Curtis says, yeah, it’s complicated, but he promises, it’s got nothing to do with her. She says, it has everything to do with her. Her mom’s feelings are important to her. So are his. But she can’t do anything to help if neither one of them will tell her what’s going on. Hasn’t there been enough of that in this family already?

Portia says she’s heard Curtis’s side. Now she’d like to hear Jordan’s. Jordan says, it was one kiss. That’s all. Portia tells her, that’s what Curtis said, and Jordan says, they wouldn’t lie to her; it was fleeting. Portia says, don’t downplay it. She knows there were feelings involved, right? Jordan says, there were. Confusion, history, and unresolved emotions. Portia asks if they’re resolved now, and Jordan says, absolutely. She’s done, and she won’t be interfering in their lives again. Portia says, aside from sleeping with her brother.

Dr. Navarro says, Molly’s ultrasound indicates her ovarian reserve, her egg count, is normal, and Molly says, TJ was right; there’s nothing to worry about. The doctor says, however, egg count is just one factor in fertility. Egg quality is another, and in many ways more important. Molly asks if they were able to determine the quality from the ultrasound, and Dr. Navarro says, based on the number of follicles in her ovaries and her bloodwork, her endometriosis has had an adverse effect on the quality of her eggs. Conceiving a child using her eggs poses a real challenge.

Curtis says he’s not sure he and Trina should have this conversation before she has it with her mom, and she asks, why? What’s he hiding? He says, she knows he’d never hide anything from her, but he thinks she should talk to her mom first. She says, he hasn’t talked to her mom since his party? and he says, she didn’t come home last night. Don’t worry. She texted; she’s at the hospital. She’s fine. Trina says, then she’ll go there to get some answers, but Curtis says, hang on. Don’t push her mom, especially at work.  Trina says, this is officially freaking her out. If there’s another secret, she needs to know. And not from her mom; from him… Zeke was right. She shouldn’t have come here. He asks what her Uncle Zeke has to do with this, and she says, Zeke said she should keep her distance from Curtis.

Jordan says, Zeke told Portia about their recent night together? and Portia says, not at first. She pressed him about it. She thinks he could tell she wasn’t in the mood for nonsense. Jordan says, that’s disappointing, and Portia says, because he admitted to their fling? Or because he exposed Jordan’s designs on her husband? Which one? Jordan says, it wasn’t like that, but she’s disappointed in the recent choices she’s made in men. She wishes she hadn’t kissed Curtis. Portia says, it wasn’t just a kiss though. It didn’t just come out of nowhere. The two of them were talking and hanging out… sharing things, confidences. Did Jordan talk to her husband about their marriage? About his feelings for Trina? What conversations did Jordan have with Portia’s husband behind her back? Jordan says, Portia’s torturing herself for no good reason. She’s with Curtis. Portia says she’s not sure about that one. Jordan might get what she wants, and that’s Curtis, free and clear.

Lucy says, Maxie is so right. Gladys definitely has strong opinions about Cody. Sasha says she feels like Gladys disliked Cody even before the whole thing with the bracelet, and Lucy says, well, Dominique Stanton Taub Baldwin was a very, very, very dear friend of hers. She was Lucy’s daughter Serina’s biological mom, and she’s Cody’s mother, so that makes Cody and Serina half-siblings. That means she’s kind of predisposed to believe Cody. She doesn’t know him that well, but truthfully, if she had to choose between believing Cody or Gladys, she would choose Cody, always. Maxie says, same here. Not that she’s doubting the facts. The bracelet was found in Cody’s pocket, but there has to be some other explanation. Sasha says, that’s what she’s come to believe. What if someone stole the bracelet off Gladys and slipped it into the first pocket they saw? She thinks Cody and Gladys are both victims. She wishes they could both see it. Maxie says, just because there’s friction between Gladys and Cody, that doesn’t mean it needs to affect Sasha’s friendship with Cody, but Sasha says, it already has.

Sam walks into the pool area, wearing a big sunhat, and carrying a copy of Crimson. I wonder if there’s a real Crimson magazine out there somewhere, and then I try to remember the last time I read a physical copy of a magazine. Sam sits at a table near the bar, and watches Gladys sunning herself and sipping her daquiri. Cody comes over to Gladys’s chaise, and she says, always a displeasure. Spinelli joins him, and she says, what’s he doing here? Cody says, they both know she planted that bracelet on him. Now he has the evidence to prove it.

Jordan tells Portia that she doesn’t want Curtis. Not anymore. Portia says, please, and Jordan says, there was a time she fantasized about reconciling with Curtis, but even then she didn’t want to disrupt what he and Portia had. Portia says, not until she found an opening. She can’t believe she just praised Jordan, and thanked her for looking out for Trina, not knowing the whole while that Jordan had just kissed her father. Jordan says, the father Portia never intended to tell her about? (Oh, snap!)

Curtis says, Trina’s uncle has no right to come between them, and Trina says, if there’s a you and me, it’s because of mutual respect and trust, but not if he’s keeping secrets from her about him and her mother. She’s going to find out. If not from him or her mom, then from Zeke. And he implied that it’s Curtis’s fault her mom’s upset. Curtis wonders how Zeke would know that, and says, because Portia told him. Trina asks if it’s true, and Curtis says, yes. It’s his fault. She asks what he did, and he says he kissed Jordan. She says, what? Recently? He says, since the wedding. And he didn’t tell her mother.

TJ says, what about fertility medication? and Dr. Navarro says, Molly has a high level of estradiol, which she believes is preventing Molly’s body from producing some kind of hormone. TJ says, which will make it even harder for her ovaries to respond to medication. Molly says, so that’s it? but the doctor says, they can do a test to see how Molly’s body responds to fertility drugs. Molly says, but statistically, how likely is it she’s able to create a viable embryo? and the doctor says, without further testing, it’s difficult to assess a specific percentage. Molly says, she understands, but are they talking low, extremely low, non-existent? Dr. Navarro tells Molly that she’d say, extremely low.

Maxie says, Cody came to Sasha’s rescue at Home & Heart, and that was after his arrest, so he doesn’t seem to be holding Gladys’s accusations against Sasha. Sasha says, that’s the kind of person Cody is. He saw some of the hateful tweets the producers at Home & Heart were putting out, he realized she might be in trouble, and showed up to help. But when she tried to thank him, he basically said they couldn’t be friends unless she picked a side. Cody insists Gladys isn’t the person Sasha thinks she is. Lucy says, Gladys is still Sasha’s guardian. Does she think Cody really wants her to turn her back on the person who controls her money? Sasha says, what? and Lucy says she happens to be a very pragmatic woman. Sasha says, Gladys will always be her family, but Gladys may not be her guardian for much longer.

Gladys says, he’s delusional, but Cody says, thinking she can frame him and get away with it is delusional. Sam takes something from her ear, and puts it in the crease of the magazine. (A recorder of some kind?) Cody says, Gladys is going to get the insurance company to drop the charges, and Gladys asks how she’s going to do that. He says, she’s imaginative; she’ll figure it out. Gladys says, and if she doesn’t? and Cody says he’ll show everyone in town the evidence that says she did. Gladys gets up, and says, he’s bluffing. The PCPD and the insurance company investigated. If there was evidence she set Cody up, they would have found it. Spinelli says, fascinating, and she says, it speaks… What? He tells her, she never once said she’s innocent.

Kristina asks Sam, come here often? and Sam closes the magazine. Kristina sits down and asks what Sam is up to.

Portia says, Saint Jordan. Jordan is never going to let her forget that she kept Portia’s secret all those months, and Jordan didn’t expose her, despite her strong feelings for Curtis, right? Jordan says, believe it or not, all she ever wanted was for Portia to be happy. Portia says, at the expense of her own happiness, and Jordan says she cares about Portia and Curtis. She prayed for them on their wedding day. Portia says she knows she made mistakes in her marriage to Taggert. And it must have been extremely difficult to let go of a man like Curtis, but Jordan had to know how much it would hurt her not to hear about the kiss from her or Curtis. Jordan says she almost told Portia at GH, and Portia asks, why didn’t she? Jordan says, because Curtis asked her not to.

Trina says, now she knows why her mom left the party, and why Curtis isn’t her uncle’s favorite person at the moment. Curtis says, they were separated, but he still understands why Portia was hurt, and she asks why he didn’t tell Portia right away. He says, because he wasn’t sure what the kiss meant. He had to work it out first. She asks, has he worked it out? and he says, his future’s with Portia. Trina says, if she’ll have him, and he says he sure hopes forgiveness goes both ways. So how does she feel about things? About him? She says she hates that he hurt her mom, and she hates that her mom hurt him. She likes him, but she doesn’t like secrets. Maybe it’s hereditary.

Kristina tells Sam, she has the day off, so she’s doing some research for her foundation. She thought she’d multitask and catch some rays at the same time. Sam says, good for her, and good luck with that tasking, but Kristina says she always has time for her big sis. She takes a sip of Sam’s drink, and says, that’s good.

Gladys says, of course (🍷) she’s innocent. Cody here’s the criminal. Spinelli should consider the company he keeps. Spinelli says, Mr. Bell is a lot of things, and Cody says, there’s a photographer that has pictures of her at the Nurses Ball, with and without the bracelet. It really narrows down the timeframe that the bracelet was – air quotes – stolen – end air quotes. Funnily enough, that timeframe happens to be more or less when he was changing. She says, more or less? That’s his evidence? He says, that’s just Exhibit A. Mr. Spinelli, would you present Exhibit B?

Sasha says she had a session with the psychiatrist who’s doing her guardianship evaluation, and Maxie says, that’s great. How’d it go? Sasha says, pretty good, she thinks. Dr. Montague seemed nice enough. It’s really hard to tell with these guys. Maxie asks when the judge will make the decision, but Sasha says she doesn’t know. She has to hope she can convince Dr. Montague that she’s in full control of her faculties again. Lucy asks, who would think that now? and Sasha says, Lucy did, when Lucy asked her to step down as the Face of Deception. Lucy says, that was ancient history, and it was a business decision. Maxie says, one that they weren’t all on board with, and Lucy says she got a lot more respect when she was dead. Maxie says, they’ve all seen how far Sasha’s come, and she’s sure the judge will see it too. Sasha says, Nina wrote her this wonderful letter of support to add to her petition, and she was hoping maybe… Maxie says, done, and Brook can put it on the Deception letterhead, but Lucy says, no. Sorry. She would really like to do it, truly. She wants to attest to Sasha’s strength of character, and how hard she worked in recovery, and her commitment. Look at her. Look how far she’s come. Sasha says she’s so lucky and so grateful that the people she works with are also her friends.

Dr. Navarro says, while the chances are extremely low Molly’s eggs are viable, it’s not impossible, but they may want to start exploring other options. It’s a lot to take in. She’ll give them some time to process. She leaves, and TJ says, this is just a setback. It’s not the end of the road. They can still have a biological child. She says, he can have a biological child; she can’t. He says, they don’t know that yet, not for sure, and she says she’s just connecting the dots. It’s not just that she can’t conceive a baby or carry a baby. She can’t even create one. He says, biology isn’t everything. There are all kinds of families, and all kinds of ways to create one. She says, but she fantasized about their baby. His curly hair, his stubborn streak… He says, his stubborn streak? Her eyes. She says, his smile. Doesn’t he want a baby that’s a blend of both of them? He says, of course (🍷), but he has the original – her. And whether they foster or adopt or whatever, their child will be remarkable because she’ll be its mother. She says, Dr. Navarro’s right; it’s a lot to take in. She just needs to think about it. She gets up, and he says, about the tests the doctor recommended? but she says, all of it. More needles won’t change the fact that she needs time to make a decision. He says he gets it. No pressure. She says she knows it affects him too, and he’s been amazing through all of it. He says, anything for her, and she says, how about an honest answer? How is he going to feel if it doesn’t happen for them?

Maxie says, Sasha’s got lots of friends, even ones she thinks she’s lost. And yes, she’s thinking of one hunky friend in particular. Sasha says she hopes that’s true, and Maxie suggests they get back to manufacturers, but Lucy says she’s reached her limit of what she can do without coffee. Maxie says, the waiter was just here, and Sasha says she has to go powder her nose, so she’ll let the waiter know Lucy wants coffee. As she walks away, Lucy says, this time she needs an espresso, stronger… one pump non-fat vanilla, and raw sugar, and four dashes of cinnamon. When Sasha is gone, Lucy asks Maxie to tell the truth. What exactly is the story about Cody and Sasha?

Spinelli says, testis unus testis nullus, and Gladys says, Exhibit B’s an anatomy lesson? Spinelli says, no, it’s Latin. It means, one witness is no witness. Gladys says, it’ll come in handy the next time she’s on Jeopardy, and Spinelli says, she’s the only one claiming Cody stole her bracelet. She says, her account was enough for the insurance agency and the PCPD, and Spinelli says, which is why she should recant. And soon. Otherwise, she’ll be the one facing a judge.

Kristina says, Sam should be really proud. Once she pushed past the hurt pride, she’s really doing her due diligence with her foundation plans, handling things in a logical order, and staying practical. With one eye toward Gladys, Sam says, that’s good. She’d love to hear all about it. Later. Kristina says, why not now, big shot?

Gladys asks, on what charges? and Cody says, falsifying a crime is a crime itself, punishable for up to seven years in prison. Spinelli says, but she already knew that having provided false testimony against Jason Morgan, claiming she saw him dispose of a murder weapon he never even touched. Given her previously unreliable, patently false testimony is a matter of record, he can’t believe the police would have a problem believing she’d lied again. Gladys says, it’s the truth, but Spinelli says, not according to her location at the time Cody was getting dressed for his Nurses Ball performance.

Trina says, as much as her mom is hurting right now, she knows Curtis was going through the same thing not that long ago because her mom was keeping something from him. She knows it’s not the same, but transparency – or the lack of it – is the common denominator in all of this. He says he was always going to tell her mother, but point taken. He shouldn’t have waited. Trina says, one time, Spencer pretended to be on Esme’s side so he could trap her, and he was going to tell Trina eventually, but she suffered a lot until he did. If he’d just been upfront with her, or everybody was upfront, it would save a lot of pain and heartache. He says, she’s right. Very wise. Her mom and Taggert raised her very well. She says, they did, but lately she’s had to learn a lot of lessons despite her parents.

Portia says, Curtis wanted to hide this from her, but Jordan says she doesn’t think he viewed it that way. Portia says, how then? and Jordan says she thinks Curtis wanted to protect Portia while he sorted through his feelings. Portia says, so Curtis wasn’t sure which one of them he wanted, but Jordan tells her, that’s not what she said. Portia says, she didn’t have to, and Jordan says, none of that matters anymore. She’s out of the picture. Portia asks, whose choice was that? and Jordan flashes back to telling Curtis that she has to finally let go. Two years was too long to put her life on hold. Portia says, who walked away? Was it Jordan or was it Curtis?

Sam asks Kristina to grab them two mimosas. Then Kristina can tell Sam about her plan. She hands Kristina some money, and suggests she go to the bar downstairs; this one is super slow. Kristina says she tries not to question freebies, but why does she get the distinct feeling that Sam’s trying to get rid of her? Sam says, because she is. Beat it.

Gladys says she knows Spinelli is Sonny’s IT whiz kid, but even she knows you can’t pinpoint an exact location by room. Spinelli says, you can with the right tracking apps, and Gladys says, he hacked into her phone and installed one? He says he didn’t need to. She did it for him.

Jordan tells Portia that she walked away, but not to overanalyze what happens during a separation. She’ll drive herself crazy. Portia says, at least Jordan doesn’t have to worry about an ex-wife still pining for her husband, and grabs her bag. Jordan says, Portia’s husband would have never kissed her if Portia had taken her advice, and told him the truth before the wedding. So who is Portia really mad at? Her? Curtis? Or is she mad at herself? Portia walks out.

Curtis tells Trina, everybody’s human. Even parents. She says, that’s true. They all make mistakes. But she has three parents, and only one of them has kept their marriage vows – her dad, Marcus Taggert. He’s not perfect, and he hasn’t made the best choices, but he’s a great example of fidelity and forgiveness. Curtis says he wants to be that for Trina too, but she says, they’re not off to a great start, and leaves.

TJ says, the more they talked about it, the more he fell in love with the thought of having a family with Molly. Even though the emotions are tense for both of them, she’s the one who has to go through the physical ordeal. He can understand not wanting to be poked and prodded. She says, it’s not just about the physical discomfort; it’s everything else. Work, friends, them. It’s all taken a backseat to tests and doctor’s appointments. It’s been overwhelming. He asks if she’s saying she doesn’t want a baby anymore, but she says, no. She’s just saying she needs a break. Doesn’t he? He says, it’s been a bit consuming, and she asks if he doesn’t want to sleep again, and go to the movies, and dance at The Savoy, and love the life they’ve been living? He says he does, but can’t they do that and plan a family? She says, eventually, after some time, and he says he can give her time. She kisses him, and says she loves him. He says he loves her, and she says, how about that coffee? Their whole day’s free. He says, sounds good, and they hug, but I’m not so sure that’s how he feels.

Maxie says, Sasha and Cody haven’t been hanging out for long, but she knows their friendship means a lot to both of them. Lucy says, obviously, because he didn’t hesitate when he thought she needed help at Home & Heart. He put his butt on the line. Literally, and to her it’s a very grand gesture for just chums. Sasha comes back, but stands a few feet away, messing with her phone. Maxie says she doesn’t like to speculate, and Lucy says, really? Come on. Maxie knows Lucy can read her mind, and she’s thinking exactly what Lucy is thinking. As Sasha listens, Maxie says, fine. She thinks what Cody feels for Sasha is more than friendship.

Gladys asks what Spinelli is talking about, and he says, 14,000 steps and eight flights of stairs the day of the Nurses Ball; that’s very impressive. Cody says, very. How many miles is that? Spinelli says, just over seven, given that Gladys’s stride is between 2.1 and 2.35 feet. Gladys says, what is this? and Spinelli says, it’s the minute data from her favorite fitness app, the one that she uses to map her walks. Cody asks if an app like that can place a user in a dressing room near a certain jacket, and Spinelli says, the spatial metadata is surprisingly advanced. It can pinpoint exact latitudes and longitudes, complete with tagging and time stamps. Cody asks if Gladys knows what that is. It’s nerd for, gotcha!

Tomorrow, Michael asks if there’s anyway this could blow back on his mom; Alexis asks if Tracy is suggesting Ned fell on purpose; Sasha says someone couldn’t be more wrong; and Drew makes his plea to the judge.

🍊 Animal Housewives…

Still not loving things in the same old Real Housewives of Orange County. Last week, Tamra let loose, screaming at Shannon for no real reason, suggesting Shannon f*** a duck. Although she claimed she didn’t remember, Tamra apologized. Ho-hum. Taking it with a grain of salt, Shannon accepted a hug, but didn’t exactly say she accepted the apology. In Shannon’s interview, she said, Tamra was going to have to apologize for everything in the past two years. Good luck with that.

New Housewife and friend of Tamra’s, Jenn, runs a yoga studio, and it looks like she’ll have the black cloud of infidelity following her. Did she or did she not sleep with a guy from the gym before separating from her husband? I don’t know and don’t care, but I’m sure every single one of these women will have an opinion. Jenn also had unfortunate timing, posting a happy dance about still being open after covid on TikTok – the day before Tamra and Eddie were having a goodbye party to close the gym. Thanks to Gina – who has consistent diarrhea of the mouth – this was brought up at the party. While Tamra seemed understanding, I guaran-effing-tee you she will be pissed about it at some point later. Probably after one or ten glasses of pinot.

I’ve always liked Emily and Shane, and it’s amusing to see Emily more glammed and toned this season, but still not quite fitting in. Even less than Rachel on RHONJ or that one who was a witch on RHOBH. Emily sort of politely fumbles her way through Housewives territory, while her on and off buddy misfit Gina shouts her way in. I liked Gina more when she had bad hair. Fancy Pants Heather is still, well, fancy pants, and in a way doesn’t fit in either. The desire to be in charge is strong in this one, and she’d be better served with her own show. In this one, she just comes off looking at best insensitive, and at worst, mean.

The party ended with a food fight, courtesy of Tamra. Really? Middle aged women in gowns smushing and throwing cake? Call me a killjoy, but I can’t stand to see adults throwing food at each other. Unless it’s a scheduled event at Camp Puerile. I fail to understand why it’s such a go-to with a lot of these women.

Meet Jenn:

https://www.bravotv.com/the-daily-dish/rhoc-season-17-who-is-new-housewife-jennifer-pedranti

🩰 Polishing My Barbiecore…

Since we have plenty of time for tea this week, keeping it short, but dip back tomorrow for soap and some freshly brewed. Until then, stay safe, stay never littering (it’s disgusting), and stay being careful what apps you put on your phone.