What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

General Hospital

TJ and Molly go to dance, and Sam says, it looks like Molly is doing better. Alexis says she’s glad Molly is taking some of the pressure of that she’s putting on herself, and Kristina says she has a way that Molly and TJ won’t feel alone in this. Sam asks, what’s her big idea? and Kristina says, she’ll be Molly and TJ’s surrogate. Molly overhears, and asks if she and TJ can sit somewhere separate; as isolated as possible. He asks why she doesn’t want to be around her mom and her sisters, and she says, because she may have to kill her sister.

Trina and Josslyn set up a picnic on a blanket in the park, and Josslyn says she feels like she just goes from one disaster to the next. She feels like they haven’t done something like this since high school. Trina says, times sure were simpler then, and Josslyn agrees. She says, for one thing, they didn’t have boyfriends who couldn’t stand each other.

Waiting outside the parenting class, Spencer tells Esme that she’s late. She apologizes, and says she got held up at work. She asks how Ace is, and he says, Ace was asleep when he left. She says she can’t wait for his grandmother and Doc to get back from looking for Nikolas. She’s more comfortable leaving Ace with them than a strange babysitter. Spencer says, Melanie is one of the Quartermaine nannies. She’s doing this as a favor to him, and her credentials are impeccable. Esme says, but her child has already been kidnapped once by his demented relatives, so forgive her if she’s overprotective. He says, it’s completely fine with him if they bail on this class. It was her idea.

Chase calls the station, and says, three shots were fired at the MetroCourt pool… No. He wasn’t present at the shooting. He was in the restaurant… He doesn’t know if anyone was hit.

Sonny asks if Dante can see the shooter, and on the phone, Jordan says, somebody already called it in? She was at the pool when it happened. It looked like it came from above; from a hotel room.

Finn and Elizabeth find Chase, and Finn asks, what happened? They heard gunshots. Chase says, thank God. He needs their help. Come with him.

Dante yells that he’s with the PCPD and wants everyone to stay where they are. On his stomach, Curtis lies motionless, and Portia calls to him. There’s no response, and she crawls over to him. She says, no, no, no, and Jordan asks what they can do. Portia says she needs towels to stop the bleeding, and tells Curtis to hang on; she needs him to be with her. Dante helps Jordan up, and they run out.

Sonny asks if his man Gabe (I think) saw where the shots came from, but Gabe says he was in the entranceway on guard. He ran out by the pool area as soon as he heard the first gunshot. Jordan gives some towels to Portia, who says, there’s so much blood. She doesn’t know the damage that the bullet did. She asks Curtis to stay with her, as Finn, Elizabeth, and Chase run in. Finn asks her to let him and Elizabeth take over. It’s going to be okay. Chase asks Jordan, what happened? and Finn tells Portia, it’s okay to let go. They’ve got this. Trust him. It’s going to be all right, he promises. Portia moves away, and he keeps pressure on the wound. Finn and Elizabeth turn Curtis partway over, but there’s no exit wound, and Finn says, the bullet is in his back.

Josslyn tells Trina that she knows it’s rare for her to defend Spencer, but his dislike of Dex started because she handled her break-up with Cameron very poorly. She should have broken up with him before she started seeing Dex. It started the night she was attacked by the Hook. Emotions were running high, and she wasn’t thinking. And it’s not an excuse, but she thinks that Spencer just wants to have Cameron’s back, and she thinks that’s a good thing. His bad impression of Dex is really about her. And besides the whole Cameron situation, she thinks Spencer is just intimidated by Dex. Trina asks, why? and Josslyn says, Spencer throws his wealth around. It also makes him defensive about being dismissed as a spoiled rich kid. He’s always wanted to come across just as tough and just as smart as anyone else. Dex works for Spencer’s Uncle Sonny, and she thinks Spencer wants to prove he’s just as tough as Dex. Trina says she thinks Josslyn may be right, and Josslyn says, to be clear, she’s not okay with how Spencer’s been acting toward Dex, but Dex can defend himself. As far as the fake evidence goes, she thinks Spencer really took what Trina said to him to heart, because he’s taking a whole new approach with Esme. Trina asks what Josslyn knows about Spencer’s whole new approach to Esme.

Esme tells Spencer, her idea that they take this parenting class together is genuine. She really wants them to work as a team, and be able to cooperate for Ace’s sake, but it doesn’t seem like he wants to cooperate with her. He asks what she thinks he’s doing here. This is him cooperating. He’s the one who was here. She’s the one who just said she doesn’t want to be here. She tells him that she never said she didn’t want to be here. She just said she was uncomfortable leaving her son. Something he can never understand because Ace isn’t his son. A woman comes out and says, it sounds like they’re here for the parenting class. Come on in.

Kristina says, as soon as Molly told them that she had endometriosis, she made an appointment with her OB, and Alexis asks if she has it too. Kristina says, no, but she thought maybe it’s hereditary. She’s happy to tell them that she’s in excellent health. And she’s the right age, she shares DNA with Molly, not currently in a relationship, and doesn’t have any immediate plans to have a child in the near future. So that puts her in a perfect position to carry a child for Molly and TJ. Alexis says she knows Kristina wants to help her sister, but she thinks offering to be a surrogate at this juncture is a bit premature.

TJ says, what did Kristina do? and Molly asks how he knew it was Kristina. He says, she’s the one who pushes Molly’s buttons, and she’s never tried to kill someone. She says she’d never try to kill a person, but she feels so out of control, she could see herself losing it on Kristina, tearing into her, and doing damage that would be irreparable. He asks why she’d be tempted to do that, and she says, because Kristina wants to be their surrogate.

Sonny says he thinks the shooting stopped, and starts to get up, but Anna stops him, saying, he doesn’t know that. The shooter could be waiting for one of them to come out. She gets on her phone, and says, she’ll find the floorplan, and he says, good idea. He pops out from where they were hiding, and Dante wonders, what is he doing? Looking up, Sonny says he’s ending this. Come on out!

Finn tells Elizabeth that they have to be careful with injury to the spine. He’s trying to stop the bleeding. Under a table, Portia says she doesn’t understand. Who would want to shoot Curtis? Jordan says she doesn’t think he was the intended target.

Josslyn says, Grandma Bobbie told her that she saw Spencer and Esme had signed up for a parenting class together at GH, and Trina asks if her grandmother teaches the class. Josslyn says, no. She just oversees all of the outreach classes there, and saw their names. She mentioned it the other day. She said it looked like Spencer was starting to make an effort with Esme. It remains to be seen whether or not she’ll reciprocate. Trina says she just hates the thought of Spencer spending even more time with Esme, and Josslyn agrees. Dex arrives with iced lattes, and Josslyn asks what he’s doing here. He says, she told him to swing by when he got off work, and she says, she did, didn’t she? kissing him.

The teacher welcomes the class, and congratulates them for signing up. Plenty of people will tell them, parenting come naturally, and you shouldn’t need instruction. In fact, this is not a how-to class, because there is no magic formula; no strict regimen on how to parent. What works for one child doesn’t necessarily work for another. Spencer raises his hand, and asks, if this isn’t a how-to class, what are they doing here? She says, good question. This class is for strategies of cooperation between parents. How to communicate. How to make room for the other’s opinions, even learning to compromise. It doesn’t mean always getting along. It means, being able to negotiate; to avoid ultimatums because children can sense tension. And when the parents are at war, no one suffers but the child.

Alexis tells Kristina, first of all, it was only a few months ago when Molly decided she wanted to have a child, and sadly, that option biologically has been taken away from her. She’s devastated; they’re both devastated. But she’s pretty certain this isn’t the time to make any rash decisions or any grand gestures, because they need to regroup; they need to heal. They need to figure out if they even want to have a family, and what they family may look like. Maybe it will be a surrogate, maybe it won’t, but now is not the time to do anything. Kristina says she couldn’t disagree more, and Alexis wonders why she thought Kristina was going to say that. Kristina says, what if there’s less time than they think?

Molly tells TJ that she knows Kristina wants to help; that she thinks she’s helping. But what she’s really doing is throwing it in Molly’s face that she has viable eggs and a healthy uterus, and Molly doesn’t. She can get pregnant and carry a baby, no problem. And she’ll get to experience all of it. The life growing inside her, and pregnancy, and labor, and giving birth, and Molly won’t experience any of it. And once again, it will be the Kristina show. Not even the worst thing that’s happened gets to be about her. It’ll all be about her. TJ kisses her hand and says, not to him.

Curtis is strapped to a gurney, and Zeke says he can’t believe how fast the SWAT team got here. Jordan says, they had to clear the building safe before the paramedics could come in. Portia tells the paramedics that she’s his wife, and wants to ride in the ambulance. She leaves with them, and Zeke says he’ll give Jordan a ride to the hospital if she wants, but she says, they’re crime scene witnesses. They have to stay and give their statements. He tells her, hold on a second, and goes over to Dante. He says he really wants to take Miss Ashford to the hospital, and he wants to be there for his sister Portia. Can they give their statements later? Dante asks if they saw the shooter or have any information about the shooter that could help, but they both say, no. Dante says, then he’d better take her to the hospital. Zeke thanks him, and they leave. Chase joins Dante, who asks if he got anything.

Anna says, Sonny should have stayed hidden. She doesn’t know what he was thinking. He made himself a target. Sonny says, it was a calculated risk. He assumed the shooter was gone, and it was the best way to prove it so the paramedics could help Curtis.

Dante tells Chase that he came to the pool to talk to his dad, and saw the rifle. He yelled for everyone to run for cover, and fired off a shot at the same time. Chase asks if he knows what room the shot came from, and Dante says he doesn’t know the room, but it came from that window. He points, and says, they have to search the whole building. A SWAT officer says, they already did a preliminary search to let the paramedics in. Now their team is clearing the hotel, room by room.

Anna says she heard three gunshots, and Sonny says, one hit the water here, and another one hit this way; he points behind him. He thinks Curtis got hit by a ricochet.

Trina says, Dex can have her spot, and Dex asks where she’s going. Is she still mad at him about punching Spencer? Josslyn says, she has to stay. Please. She wants her best friend and her boyfriend to get to know each other better. Dex says he’d like that. Why doesn’t Trina tell him one of the things she knows about Josslyn that he doesn’t? Trina says, if he’s ever seen Josslyn play volleyball, he knows how competitive she is, and he says he sure does. Josslyn says, it’s true, and they laugh. Dex’s phone rings, and he steps away to take the call. Dex asks Gabe, what’s going on? and Gabe says he needs Dex to alert the rest of the team. There’s been another ambush at the MetroCourt pool. Dex says, what? Where’s Sonny? Is he okay? Gabe says he thinks Sonny was the target, but he can’t be sure. There was one person who was shot… Dex looks over at Trina, and says, thanks for letting him know. He goes back, and Josslyn asks, what’s wrong? He says, there was a shooting at the MetroCourt pool, and she asks if everything is okay. He says, one person was shot… Curtis Ashford. Trina looks stunned.

The teacher tells the class to remember it’s not a test. It’s just an exercise to see how their expectations match up with their partner’s. If one partner wants the child to go to bed at 6, and the other wants the child in bed when they get tired, that’s going to be a point of friction. The goal is to answer honestly. Truth is the best starting point. Esme looks at Spencer, and he says, what? He put 7 pm. That’s what time she puts Ace down. She says, right, but it’s not exactly her rule; it’s what the books recommend. She never realized, she never asked his opinion. What time does he think Ace should go to bed?

Kristina asks if what happened to Molly isn’t a cautionary tale about waiting too long. By the time she was diagnosed with endometriosis, it was already too late. Her eggs were no longer viable because she waited too long. Sam says, never ever make that argument to Molly, and Kristina says, no, of course (🍷) not. Her point is, she’s healthy now. She’s single now. She’s at a place in her life where she can carry a child, and she doesn’t know how she’ll feel in two years. Maybe she’ll have met someone by then. God willing she’ll have met someone by them. She thinks if she’s going to do this for her sister, the sooner, the better.

TJ puts his arm around Molly, and says, over the years, he’s seen Kristina’s tendency to make things all about her. When Molly achieves something, it’s almost like clockwork that Kristina has a crisis that refocuses the attention on her. Whether they choose to have a child or not, and how they go about that, is a decision for them to make together. Kristina will have nothing to do with it.

Curtis is wheeled into the hospital, and a paramedic says a bunch of medical stuff to the doctor, including that Curtis lost a lot of blood. The doctor tells them to get Curtis into Trauma 1, and asks if they used spinal precautions. The paramedic says, they did, blah-blah-blah, and they take Curtis in.

Brook hugs Dante, and says she’s glad he’s okay. She heard someone was shot, and she’s glad it’s not him. He says, Curtis Ashford wasn’t so lucky. He was shot in the back. Brook says, that’s horrible, and Dante says, the GH doctors are looking after him now. Dante leaves, and Chase asks what she’s doing here; this is a crime scene. She says she knows, but was told it was safe to come out here. She promises she’s not going to get in his way, but she had to see him; to keep her eyes on him. The thing that’s going on with her dad, and now the shooting tonight… She wants Chase to know how much he means to her.

Curtis is moved to a table, and the doctor says he has a (sounds like) GPS to the back, and they’ll continue spinal precautions.

Finn tells an officer that they were in the restaurant and heard gunfire. Detective Chase asked for their help. Elizabeth says, when they got out here, they saw Curtis Ashford lying on the ground unconscious because he’d been shot in the back. The officer thanks them, and says, if there are more questions, they’ll be contacted. He leaves, and Dante thanks them for their help before the paramedics got here. They’re free to go. Dante leaves, and Elizabeth says, if Curtis lives, it will be because of Finn’s quick actions, but he says he couldn’t have done it without her help. He just prays it’s enough. She says, it was such a beautiful summer night, and suggests they get out of here.

Curtis is transferred to the table, and the doctor says a bunch of medical stuff as Portia stands in the doorway. Deanna goes to the door and says, they can’t have Portia in here. She leads Portia to the hallway, and says she knows Portia is scared, but she has to stay out here. Portia says, that’s her husband. Please. She’s depending on Deanna to save him. Deanna says she knows, and goes back in, closing the door. Geez, talk about pressure.

Molly says she never knew TJ had such strong opinions about Kristina, and he says, her sister has the classic Jan Brady syndrome as the middle child who wants all the attention all the time. Of course (🍷) she does. A person can be selfish and generous at the same time, and Kristina is living proof. But obviously, this situation is not happening to her. It’s happening to them.

Kristina thinks she should present the idea to Molly and TJ as soon as possible, but Sam says, before she does that, she needs to really think about what being a surrogate actually means. Alexis says, Sam’s right. Kristina needs to think about what carrying someone else’s child means to her.

Anna tells an officer, then the third shot hit right here, and she and Sonny were hiding behind the bar. Dante says, the last shot could have been aimed at either one of them. One of them is the target here. Chase asks if he can talk to Dante privately, and they step away.

Chase tells Dante that he spoke with hotel security, and there’s only one room on the 11^th floor with a pool view, and it’s currently unoccupied. Dante suggests they check it out, and Brook watches them leave.

Portia frets as she sees a nurse dash out of Curtis’s room. Zeke and Jordan walk in, and Jordan asks if there are any updates. Zeke hugs Portia, and Portia says, he’s is in the trauma room now, and they’re prepping him for surgery. They just have to find the exact location of the bullet. Zeke thinks they should find a seat, but Portia says she’s fine here. You’d think this would be easier for her because she’s a doctor. She knows what they’re doing in there, and knows every step they’re taking. She also knows doctors are human too, and sometimes everything you can do isn’t enough. Her phone rings, and she says, Trina? Trina says she heard about Curtis. Is he…? Portia says, they’re working on him now. Curtis is alive and he’s fighting.

Sam tells Kristina, when she was pregnant, she was not at all prepared to be a mother. It was Jason who offered to help her raise Sonny’s baby. But as the pregnancy progressed, it affected her profoundly in ways that she would have never anticipated. So by the time her daughter Lila was stillborn at birth, it shattered her. She guesses her point is, she thought she knew what it meant to be pregnant; when in reality, she couldn’t have been more wrong.

Molly says, TJ is right. This has been happening to both of them, and she’s been shutting him down and pushing him away. This is her loss, but it’s his too, and she’s sorry. She wanted to give him a child. Their child. She wanted to carry that baby and give birth with him by her side. She had all these dreams that she just took for granted would happen someday when they were ready, and now she knows they’re never going to happen. She’s grieving, but in her grief, she forgot to ask what his dreams were.

Zeke asks how Jordan is doing and she says she’s okay. He doesn’t need to worry about her. He should worry about his sister. He says, Portia knows he’s there if she needs him. Right now, her best comfort is her daughter.

Trina says, if Portia doesn’t want to talk about it, she’ll understand, but what happened tonight? Portia says she’s still processing everything; it all happened so fast. She was at the pool with Jordan and Zeke, and saw Curtis come in. Then they heard a gunshot. Trina says, from where? but Portia says she doesn’t know. Then Jordan told them to take cover, and she heard two more gunshots. Then she looked over at Curtis, and he was face down on the ground. She ran over to him, and tried to stop the bleeding as best she could… Wait. Who told her? How did Trina know Curtis was shot?

Josslyn scrolls on her phone, and Dex asks who she’s looking for. She says, Spencer. Trina needs him. She thinks she knows where to find him.

The teacher tells Spencer and Esme that they have the exact same answers. Either they’re perfectly in sync or they’re reading from the same parenting guide. Esme says, they’re reading from the same parenting guide, and the teacher says, they’re both very young. Ace is their first child? Esme says, Ace is her baby. Spencer’s his brother and… baby daddy’s not in the picture. The teacher asks how that’s working out, and Esme says, surprisingly well. She and Spencer haven’t always gotten along, but she has to admit, Spencer always comes through for Ace. Spencer says, Esme’s a devoted mom. She found this parenting guide, and he thinks she found it helpful, so she had him read it as well. She found this class for them because she wants what’s best for Ace, and he wants the same thing. The teacher says, it sounds like they’re a great team.

Brook says she’s glad Sonny and Anna aren’t hurt. It’s times like these when she realizes how dangerous Chase and Dante’s jobs really are. She’s not doing anyone any good just standing here, so she’s going to go, and Sonny tells Gabe to make sure she gets home safe. Brook protests, but Sonny says, she’s in bad shape. She’s not driving home by herself. She thanks him and leaves with Gabe. Anna says, that was really nice, and Sonny says, it depends on your perspective. If he’s the shooter’s target, he has to bear some responsibility for what happened here. She says, judging from where the bullets hit, she’d say he was being targeted. Have there been any other incidents lately? Is someone trying to kill him?

Dante and Chase go to the unoccupied room, which has police tape across it. Dante asks an officer if they found anything in there, but the officer says, they swept all the rooms, and there was no sign of the shooter. Dante tells him, the hotel staff said this was the only room not occupied. He wants to take another look. The officer says, be his guest, and they go inside. Dante tells Chase, the shooter may be gone, but maybe he left something behind. Chase goes to check the rooms, and Dante feels around the couch cushions. He lifts one up, then moves the couch aside to reveal an automatic rifle. He calls Chase in, and says, come take a look.

Trina runs finds Portia, and says she’s so sorry about Curtis, hugging her. Portia says she knows. All they can do is pray. Josslyn and Dex are there, and Josslyn says, if there’s anything they can do to help… Portia thanks her, and says she’s sorry, but she doesn’t remember Dex’s name. He says, Dex. He’s Josslyn’s boyfriend. If she needs anything, they’ll be over here. Josslyn asks if Dex can stay with Trina. She’ll be back in a minute.

Kristina says, Sam is right; she didn’t really think this through. She was so busy focusing on helping her sister, she didn’t really think about how it could affect her. Being pregnant for nine months, then giving birth, it’s a lot. For Molly and TJ too. Surrogacy isn’t something she should just do on impulse. Alexis tells her not to be hard on herself. It was a loving impulse. Kristina says, it’s good she only blurted it out to them, and not to Molly and TJ. The three of them join hands in the middle of the table.

TJ says, even if he’s never said it out loud, he guesses he also dreamed for Molly to carry their child. He’s been grieving the loss of that dream, but on his end, he’d still like for them to have kids… somehow. And when that happens, that is all up for grabs. Things they’ll figure out when they’re ready. She says, okay. Good. Because she still wants to have kids someday too. Although if they were to go the surrogacy route, Kristina is healthy, and she does share DNA with her. Kristina might actually be their best choice.

Elizabeth and Finn walk outside, and she says she doesn’t know why she’s feeling like this. She’s seen plenty of gunshot wounds. Finn says, you do your job, then the emergency passes and the adrenaline fades, and you have the same fears as everyone else. You look down and see that victim, and he’s bleeding. And he’s your friend. He’s Curtis; that’s Portia’s husband. She says she just can’t stop shaking, and he puts his arm around her.

Sonny tells Anna that he’s been experiencing some friction from a newer business associate lately, and she says he doesn’t have to speak in code. She’s not affiliated with law enforcement in any capacity now. He says, her fall from grace is pretty new and very public, and somebody was upset enough to spray paint murderer on her front door. She asks if he thinks maybe those shots weren’t aimed at him; that those bullets were meant for her.

The bullet casings are bagged, and Chase calls the station, saying, they believe they found the rifle used in the MetroCourt shooting. He asks for a forensics team to come over, and Dante says, you know what they’re going to find on this gun? Absolutely nothing. No prints. No way to trace it back to the shooter. It’s a ghost gun. Same thing with the shell casings and the rest of the room. They’re not going to find anything. Chase says, this person was a pro, and Dante says, maybe a pro. But to tell you the truth, it also feels like it could be an intelligence op.

Esme says, Spencer never did answer her question. What time does he think Ace should go to bed? He says he’s been a late-night guy for as long as he can remember. When he was little, he used to sneak out of bed. He had this whole gaming set-up in one of the spare rooms in Windymere. She laughs, and he says he thought he was being slick getting away with it, but his dad knew the whole time. He guesses it was nice of him to turn a blind eye. She says she thinks that’s the first positive thing she’s ever heard him say about his dad, and Spencer says, they were close when he was younger. Josslyn comes to the door and stands quietly, but doesn’t go in. Esme says, Ace may not know his father, but he does have a really good older brother, and Josslyn watches as Esme puts her hand on Spencer.

On the phone, Jordan says, set it up. She’ll be there shortly. Zeke says he doesn’t know if she can use an attorney, but he’s willing to help out any way he can, and she says she’s the acting Deputy Mayor now. And with Mayor Collins out of town, she’s the highest-ranking city official. So she has to do a press conference about the shooting and reassure the public they’re safe. So she’s going to do that now. He asks if he can at least walk her out, and she says, sure.

Portia asks the doctor if there’s an update on Curtis, and Trina asks if her dad is going to be okay. The doctor says, Curtis has been stabilized, but he’s still unconscious. He’s going to need surgery to remove the bullet, which is complicated by the fact the bullet is lodged against Curtis’s spine.

Tomorrow, Trina asks if this means Curtis could be paralyzed; Finn asks if Elizabeth is ready to take the plunge again; Dex says, it feels like the odds are stacked against Curtis; and Josslyn asks where Esme thinks she’s going.

Below Deck Sailing Yacht

Gary tells Mads that he wonders how Alex found out she’s on her period. He doesn’t get it. Mads says, WTF? Alex tells Chase that Colin and Gary are the largest gossip queens, and Chase says, it won’t be a secret within the next five minutes. Mads realizes Gary found out she’d told Alex that she was bloated because she had her period, and tells Lucy that she was kidding. Lucy wonders why boys are so dumb, and Gary says, what’s done is done, like someone was killed. He doesn’t want to show his face. Mads says, these people are unbelievable. Provisions come in, and the boat heads out. Gary finds out that he misunderstood and tells Mads that he feels embarrassed, but in her interview, Mads says, that’s not an apology. One more charter and she’s done with it. Alex says he can’t even deal with this f***ing boat. If he put out any effort, Gary wouldn’t be getting laid, and now he won’t. Gary gripes about Alex, and Chase tells Gary not to involve him. Anchor is home, and Chase tells Alex that Gary seems pissed. Alex explains the latest Gary drama, and in Alex’s interview, he says, it goes to show Gary’s leadership style is toxic AF. What a f***ing mess.

They anchor and put out the water toys, Glenn telling them, put as much sh*t out there as you can. Daisy says she hopes Colin doesn’t tell the deckhands anything about her, and tells him about Gary going nuts over Mads. It’s super f***ed up. Gary and Chase pick up the guests in the tender, and the guests get champagne and the tour. Primary Todd asks mom Debra what she thinks, and she says, every mother deserves a gay son. The guests begin downing tequila, and ask for a rope swing. Mads sees how many garments she needs to press, and says she’s over her life. Gary demonstrates the rope, and they notice Debra drifting a little too far in the unicorn inner tube. In Alex’s interview, he says, the current is strong, and they have no barrier or windbreak. He has to act quickly before it becomes an open water rescue.

The rescue is successful, and Alex gives Debra a paddleboard to get herself back, as he lassos the unicorn and brings it in. Chase asks if Colin has heard about the Gary and Alex debacle. In Chase’s interview, he says he’s sure Gary feels embarrassed, but he doesn’t feel bad. The immature way Gary deals with conflict is why he’s in this mess. He tells Colin that he doesn’t know if he’d hook up with a girl after Gary did. Maybe Colin should see a doctor. In Daisy’s interview, she says, the guests are drinking like it’s water. She wants the guests to enjoy the sea, but here we are. They drink shot after shot, and Daisy can’t believe how much they’re drinking. She tells Colin that the guests are pretty hammered, and guest Randy starts to get pissy. Glenn asks how the mood is, and Daisy says, drunk. Randy escapes from the table, and flops around on deck. The sails go up, and the pirate movie music starts. Somehow, guest Nic gets Randy back to his cabin, and tries to give him water, but Randy says, f*** you. He’s going to be sick. Things start falling everywhere.  

Nic says he was trying to help. If Randy falls, he could break his damn neck. He tells Randy to get back in bed, but Randy says, leave him alone. The sails go back down and anchor is dropped in Porta Palma. Randy says, Nic shouldn’t have left him on the floor, and Nic says, Randy got drunk; he tried to take care of him. Randy wails that Nic left him on the floor, and Nic says he couldn’t wake him. Randy says, Nic is a guest of his, and Nic says, he was flopping around, then fighting him. Brad is a witness. Guest Brad says, Randy threw a glass of something-or-other at him, and Mads and Lucy approach the cabin with a massive stack of clothing that’s been refreshed. In her interview, Lucy says, if this is an example of a throuple, take her away. They drop the clothes off to whoever answers the door, and jet. In the galley, Lucy tells Daisy about the argument, and Glenn hears. In Glenn’s interview, he says, this is the last charter in a long tough season. He wants happy guests, and doesn’t need a spat. He tells them, if they see anything weird, let him know. Randy whines that he’s miserable, and going to throw up. Brad says, if he makes a public scene, what happens? It’s not worth it. Randy storms out, apparently not that sick. He goes back to the table, and in Ileisha’s interview, she says, drunk fighting guests are not ideal, but she put in a lot of hard work in and they’re going enjoy this. Lucy tells Mads that one of them got sick in the sink, and gets gloves. The entrée is a bone-in ribeye with parsnips, which one of the guests says is like a potato. X <game show wrong sound>. It’s more like a turnip. Lucy says she can’t believe they’re in their 40s. Debra says she’s noted how many people don’t have mirrors, and guest Grant says, if they’re happy, you should mind your own business. He and Randy start going at it, and guest Todd gets up, saying, he needs a martini, and takes Grant with him. I need one too. I can’t even follow this argument. Probably because they’re drunk and there’s nothing to follow. Randy smokes at table, and I hope he has an ashtray. He decides he’s going to talk to them, and some of the guests stay at the table, which they’ve dubbed their safe space. Randy comes into the cabin, and Grant starts yelling, get out of his room. Glenn comes down, and says, don’t push anyone. The first moment he sees them getting aggro, they’re getting off the boat. Randy insists he’s not violent, and Glenn says, Randy is getting aggro to him,, and he’s that far from getting off the boat.

Glenn says, it’s ridiculous, and Randy says he tried having a normal conversation and was calm. On deck, guest Brad says, if Randy is rubbed the wrong way, you’re f***ed royally. In Lucy’s interview, she says she’s dealt with nightclub scenes. A woman punched her when she wasn’t allowed into the private section. She didn’t punch her back, but wishes she had. Debra tells Brad that he deserves better, but Brad says, if they get a divorce, he’ll get taken for all he has. There’s no prenup. She asks what he was thinking. In Chase’s interview, he says he feels like he can help. He’s been a security guard before. Daisy says she doesn’t understand Gary’s drama. Does he want to be with Mads or not? Gary says he doesn’t know. He needs time off. Glenn tells Chase that Randy instigated the problem. If anything happens, get them. In the cabin, Randy says he wants off the boat, and Nic tells him, go to sleep, you messy motherf***er. Chase walks the hallway until morning.

Chase says, they have one crew night left, and Mads asks what bad decision he’s making tonight. Glenn asks Chase, how was the evening? and Chase says, happily uneventful. Breakfast starts, looking more wonderful than these morons deserve, and in the cabin, Nic says, if they can’t enjoy Sardinia, why are they together? which is a fair point. He tells Randy to let it go. Bury his sh*t, smile, and enjoy one day. Some of the guests go on the beach workout excursion, along with some tequila punch, so I’m not sure what kind of workout this is. Randy tells Glenn, sorry about last night, but Glenn says, it’s okay, remembering that they get a tip. Nic wonders how they’re going to approach the others, and Randy says, sh*t happens. It is what it is. Sh*t also happened in the cabin toilet, and in Lucy’s interview, she says she’s never had to flush a toilet for a grown-ass man. She calls her father, and says, the guests are animals, and she wants out. She’s done. She’s cleaned up sick and sh*t, and wants to go home.

Lucy’s dad tells her, don’t break now. It’s silly. Don’t let it get to her; it’s not worth it. On the beach, the guests do a weird workout where they use each other as equipment; minus Debra, who drinks while wading in the water. Alex and Mads take selfies. On the boat, Colin tells Gary that he’s not his perky self, but Gary says he’s good. Maybe it’s because it’s the end of the season. Colin says, not because Mads in on the beach with Alex? but Gary says, he’s over it. He’s tired of everyone telling him how to feel. Colin asks, who’s telling him how to feel? and Gary says, him and Daisy. She keeps asking if he likes Mads. He doesn’t know why it’s concerning to her. Alex calls for guest pick-up, and Colin tells Daisy that Gary says she keeps asking him if he likes Mads, and it got him thinking. Daisy says, Gary is confused. She asked why he was upset. In Colin’s interview, he says he feels like Gary’s not going to step aside. Alarm bells are going off. Daisy tells him, all she did was ask if he’s okay, and Colin says, it’s a spanner and pretty pathetic. He and Daisy go to her cabin to talk privately, and Colin says, Gary is desperate for a relationship. Mads tells Lucy, it’s so awkward. She can keep up a smile, but there’s a point when she can’t. Daisy tells Colin that she couldn’t care about Gary and his relationships. She just cared as a friend. Colin says, the way Gary twists things is confusing, and Daisy says, Gary is disrespectful toward Colin. She wants to be with him, and this love triangle is over. In her interview, she says she thinks Gary is trying to f*** up her relationship with Colin. She tells Colin, it’s the last f***ing straw. If she and Gary can’t be friends without him stirring the sh*t, then they can’t be friends.

Below Deck Sailing Yacht – Part Two

Wait. What? Did he say finale? Please let it be so.

Daisy tells Colin that she was trying to be friends with Gary, but he says, Gary is full of sh*t. You’ve got to be careful with people like that. In Daisy’s interview, she says she needs to put distance between her and Gary’s relationship in order to have control over her and Colin’s relationship. Gary snarks that someone must have died and made Daisy queen, and she tells him that karma is coming for him being nasty. The crew gets ready for the ABC – Anything But Clothes – dinner. Among the creative outfit materials are duct tape and a garbage bag, while Gary uses a traffic cone to cover his junk and sports pigtails. In Lucy’s interview, she says she never wants to do this again. The starter is amazing oysters, and I want to cry. Lucy is relegated to cleaning the cabins, and when she sees the filth level, she wonders how much she’s going to be tested. Ileisha presents a pappardelle dish with rainbow noodles. Finding condoms in one of the guest’s beds, Daisy says she’s getting wasted tomorrow night, and Lucy says she’s drinking straight vodka. The guests play ring toss on Gary’s cone using plastic hangers. Gary tells Glenn, they got 1 out of 21. When he sees Colin, Gary says, it’s been a roller coaster of a season, and he asks Colin what’s going to happen with him and Daisy. He doesn’t even know if it will work, and it’s going to break Gary. Colin shouldn’t let a good friendship go. In Colin’s interview, he says, after all the lies, flirting, and manipulating him, Gary’s friendship with him is the one in jeopardy. Nothing Gary says will affect how he feels about Daisy. Chase prays for strength during the next 24 hours. I wonder, did those guests just pee off the side of the boat?

It’s morning, and their alarm is like mine and I hate it. It’s the last day, and in Alex’s interview, he says, in a matter of hours, Gary won’t be his boss. To him Mads is fair game. In Mads’ interview, she says, this season has been a roller coaster, and not one she wants to ride anymore. That’s why she’s avoiding Gary like the plague. Alex tells Gary that he appreciates Gary’s patience and teaching, and Mads finds red wine all over the sheets. She takes them to the laundry, and says, not today Satan. Gary hunts Mads down, and asks how she’s feeling about the end of the season. She says, good, and he asks how she feels about them. He wants to know where they stand. Should he back off or keep hounding her? He’s got feelings for her, and doesn’t want to be an idiot. Well, it’s way too late for that. Mads says, they’re just having fun, and Gary says, that’s fine, although it doesn’t seem like it. In Gary’s interview, he says he would have liked it if she’d told him the first time he asked, and a producer says, she did. She told him that they were just having fun; it was just sex. He says, when? and the producer says, the whole time. We flash back to several times, and Gary says, oh… Glenn says, the wind is picking up, and Daisy says, they haven’t cleared breakfast yet. He tells her, two minutes, and everyone scrambles. He says, it’s the last time for the sails going up, and they heel hard. In Glenn’s interview, he says, the Parsifal has had a hard time. To get to this point seemed out of reach, but they made it through, and can finish on a high note. She’s doing exactly what she does best – she’s shining.  

Mads tells Lucy that she fears there will be drama tonight. She doesn’t know what Gary wants from her. They get drunk and have sex. She thinks he’s more into Daisy than her. In Lucy’s interview, she says, it’s about time, and she tells Mads that there’s obviously sexual tension between her and Alex. The guests whine that they don’t want to go home, but it’s time for goodbyes. Co-primary Grant tells them it was out of this world, and he’s feeling it for them. He gives Glenn the tip envelope, and Glenn says, the crew knows the drill. He does his horn thing, and goes back to the crew. He says, in the beginning, they didn’t think they’d get to this point, but they made it. There’s a group hug, and in Glenn’s interview, he says, it was the season from hell, and we survived. The deckhands put Glenn on their shoulders.

Chase says he can smell himself, and I hope he takes a shower before they go out. He tells Alex that Gary turned into an a-hole. He wants to have a good night, and not want to punch this guy in the face. Glenn calls everyone for the final tip meeting. He says, they went from thinking they wouldn’t get of the dock to engine troubles, and he’s proud of how they pulled it together as a team. Everyone applauds, and he says, Daisy had challenges, but she led a team of new stews to become stronger after working with her. In Daisy’s interview, she says, constructive or not, she got a lot of criticism, and it wasn’t easy to take. But she does feel like she’s growing as a person. Glenn says, it took Ileisha time to find her bearings, but she got better with every charter, and she says, everyone was supportive. That’s what got her through. Glenn tells them, now the moment they’ve been waiting for. The tip is $17,500 USD, and we’re all disappointed. In Lucy’s interview, she says she flushed their sh*t over and over for 17 grand? F*** off. Glenn says he’s arranged for a final outing at a restaurant. He’ll be meeting up with them for a drink, but he wants to get a good night’s sleep, so he’s staying off the boat tonight. They clink glasses, and Gary says, what a motherf***ing season. Everyone gets ready to go out, and Mads has Alex tie the back of her dress. In the cab, Daisy tells the girls that she likes Colin. He’s insecure about their relationship, but she doesn’t hold it against him. She thinks they’ll be seeing each other again, but doesn’t want to over-hype it in her head and be disappointed. Mads says, all the girls are rooting for them. They stop at another beautiful restaurant.

Glenn joins them, and says, per tradition, he wants to hear what they felt were their personal highs and lows this season. Colin says, the lowest of lows was the engine failing, and we flash back to that. Daisy says her high was a great relationship with her team. It made her job pleasant. Her low was Glenn on her back. We flash back to that, and she says, maybe she should be more open minded, and reflect on who she is as a person. She tears up.

Glenn says, if Daisy wasn’t a strong person, she wouldn’t be as good as she is, and Daisy toasts, here’s to me being a better person. In Glenn’s interview, he says he feels terrible that he hurt Daisy. He wants to have a good working relationship with her, but he also wants her to be open to suggestions and ideas, as the interior is the most front facing with the guests. Glenn says his goodbyes, so I guess those highs and lows weren’t too interesting, or they’re saving them for bonus scenes. Gary walks Glenn out, and the crew sits down for dinner. The server says, to start, vegetables from their garden, then the 12 different meats. I went to a Brazilian barbecue restaurant once where they had dudes come around with different meats. I felt like a slug the next day. Gary sort of apologizes to Chased, and in Chase’s interview, he says, there are a lot of things he wants to say to Gary, like about his poor leadership and the sh*tty things he’s done – he tells Gary that they crushed it – but he thinks it’s best not to burn bridges. In Gary’s interview, he says he hasn’t had to deal with rejection too often, but it was the story of his life this season. Ileisha hugs Chase, and says, he’s a cool person. They leave, and in the taxi, Alex says he likes Mads, and thinks she can do better. Mads says she gets along with him a different way, and he kisses her. In another cab, Gary says he’s over it, and in Mads’ interview, she says, Alex finally made a move, and applauds. Back at the boat, Mads tells Ileisha that she’ll have to tell Gary about Alex before Colin and Daisy do. Ileisha says, in the cab, Gary was sulking the whole time. Gary gets in his bunk, and Chase tells Alex to go get his woman, but Alex says he wants to stay away from drama. Mads goes to Gary’s cabin, and tells him that she and Alex made out. She wanted him to hear it from her. He tells her to get the f*** out of his room, and she asks if he’s serious. He says, 100%, and shoves her out the door, shutting it behind her.

Gary says he doesn’t want to see Mads again in his life, and in her interview, Mads says, Gary’s reaction is exactly why she didn’t have this conversation with him mid-season. She wonders if he’s upset because he cares or because he looks like a fool. But ultimately, he’s not serious about anyone except Daisy, so…. Gary mumbles that he’s over this f***ing season. Chase dances on deck, and in Ileisha’s interview, she says she loves how authentic Chase is. He’s big and goofy, and has amazing attributes. Maybe if she didn’t have a boyfriend… You never know. Chase tries to lift her Dirty Dancing style, but it doesn’t quite happen. They hug in the galley, and she says, he’s her best friend. He says he loves being her friend. Daisy tells Colin, what they have is amazing, and Colin asks, what are they doing? Where are they going? Daisy says, to sleep, and he laughs.

Chase says his goodbyes, and in his interview, he says, this season was rough. He wasn’t the most tactful, and learned about himself. He’s an acquired taste. It’s weird finishing a charter season. None of them know what’s next. He figures another boat and making some money. He’s free. Mads tells Alex that she went to bed after Gary screamed at her, and he says, it’s not fair. She says, she was the one having sex with him, and Alex says, whatever she chooses, he hopes it’s good for her. In her interview, Mads says, Alex is flirty and fun, and there’s no drama. He didn’t make her life harder. She’s taking it one day at a time. She tells Alex, what’s meant to be, will be. Gary gripes to Colin about Mads and Alex making out on his last night, and Colin says, maybe they realized it was their last night too. He asks if it’s Gary’s pride or does he really like Mads, and goes off to find Daisy. Gary tells Alex, obviously he’s not happy about what happened, but Alex says if Mads and Gary had been serious, it would be different, but Gary says, it’s no different. It was snakish. Alex says he apologizes if Gary thinks he’s snaky, but he had to get it out of his head. Gary gives him the usual comeback of, whatever. In Lucy’s interview, she says, the interior didn’t fight once. Women can support women. (You go, girls!) She’s learned if she gets her emotions under control, she’s a good worker and people love her. Glenn whistles in the galley, and everyone is saying goodbyes. In Ileisha’s interview, she says, sometimes she doubted herself. Inside, she knew she could do it, but in the moment, she wondered. She definitely pushed the boundaries. We flash back to some memorable meals, and she says she’s proud of herself. Colin tells Daisy that they haven’t even started, and in Daisy’s interview, she says, vulnerability is scary for anyone. She and Colin are going back to their own worlds, and won’t see each other for a couple of months. He tells Daisy that it’s been a roller coaster. He likes her, but he doesn’t want to get hurt. In her interview, Daisy says she’s not saying long distance isn’t possible, but maybe it’s unrealistic.  

Colin says he wants them to be open and honest, and they’ll see where it goes. His feeling are real, and that’s why they can figure it out. He’ll miss her. They kiss, and she says she’ll miss him too. In Colin’s interview, he says he thinks he and Daisy realized there’s a genuine connection. She’s shown him an affectionate side he didn’t think she was capable of. She tells him that she wants to spend time with him on Parley, and in his interview, he says, the only way they’ll know if this has potential is if they pursue it outside the boat and away from Gary. In Alex’s interview, he says he doesn’t regret anything this season. We grow through what we go through. All the problems and speedbumps they went through to get to the end, they handled it well. He cares about Mads, and hopes she knows she deserves better. He doesn’t think he’s going to miss her because he’s pretty sure he’s going to see her again. Peace. While Daisy is talking with Gary, Mads stops in to say goodbye. Gary agrees to speak with her, and she says she didn’t mean to hurt him. She thought they were having fun, and she’s sorry it happened the way it happened. Gary says he was broken, and she says she was aware when he screamed at her. He says he’s sorry. He felt like he was being cheated on. In his interview, he says, being on the receiving end isn’t a nice feeling. He feels like a f***ing idiot. In Mads’ interview, she says she’s realized a lot things can go wrong living with people on a boat. You know people in a weird way; you know their underwear. She doesn’t know what’s next, but if this season has taught her anything, it’s don’t screw the crew. It’s not worth it. Colin tells Gary that he’d like to say it’s been a pleasure, and in his interview, Colin says, this season was a challenge to him professionally and personally. It challenged some of his friendships, and he feels that he needs time away from Gary. There was a trust that was broken. He needs to reconsider the friendship and what it means to him, and Gary. Colin kisses Daisy goodbye, and in his interview, he says, they’re good friends. Maybe they’ll be good lovers. He’s not sure, but he’s willing to explore it. He didn’t enjoy the weird little love triangle. Gary says he’s going to miss Daisy, and she says she knows. In Daisy’s interview, she says she understands why her relationship with Gary confuses people. She isn’t sure she understands it. She hopes Gary can give her and Colin the room and respect they deserve to develop a relationship. Daisy says goodbye to Glenn, and he tells her that he understands she was under stress this season, but Daisy admits she was defensive. He tells her to be open to new ideas. It will make her stronger. He hopes to see her back. In her interview, Daisy says she feels lucky. Glenn is an incredible captain, but this season broke her. She’s sure she’s going to need a lot of therapy. In Gary’s interview, he says, people want what they can’t have. It’s a pity things didn’t work out. Glenn says, then there were two, and in his interview, Gary says he’s going to be single for a while, and reflect more. Little Gary gets him in trouble. He’ll see if it works. He asks Glenn, what are the plans? and Glenn says, tidy the boat, and find a new engine. He starts calling around for an entire rebuild kit, and finds where there’s one in stock. He says, yeah baby!

🧨 Not a Firework…

Join me tomorrow for soap and whatever rabbits I can pull out of a teacup. For those interested, Bravo has a marathon of Ultimate Girls Trip going on, as well as an airing of Crappie Lake. It’s free-for-all summer! Until then, stay safe, stay being charitable, but choosing your charity wisely, and stay being able to compromise and negotiate, and avoid ultimatums.