What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

General Hospital

Eddie/Ned looks out over the water and hears the siren’s song. He ditches his coat and shoes, and jumps into the water.

Brook asks what Tracy meant about Lois leaving, and Lois says, Brook knows her. She’s not one to overstay her welcome. Not that there’s much of a welcome with Tracy. Of course (🍷) she’s gone. Lois raises her glass of wine, and Brook says, Lois is going too? Lois says, the only reason she came was because of that awful tabloid story about Brook, but look at her now; she’s fine. In fact, she’s more than fine, and Lois thought she’d get out of Brook’s hair. Her work here is done. Brook says, her work here is never done, and she kind of likes having Lois in her hair. Lois takes Brook’s hand and says, always and forever, she’ll be here for her. If Brook needs her, she will drop everything. So just say the word, and she’ll stay exactly where she is.

Things are being set up for the photoshoot. Coming in with Salvadore, Maxie says she can’t believe they landed this session with him. Whoever gave up this slot… Salvadore says, they’re dead to him. (He looks just like someone I used to work with. I know it’s not, but it’s weird.) Miss a booking and poof! You’re history. Maxie says, their loss is our gain, and Salvadore agrees. He’s seen their troubles in the trades. This is just the sort of challenge Salvadore likes. Maxie says, with his genius steering their ship, they will be sailing straight out of stormy waters. Imagine Sasha immortalized by Salvadore. He says, Sasha-a, no. He won’t work with divas, dopers, or demorados. This girl has flair, no doubt, but will she smash his lamps? Will she listen to the voices in her mind? No drugs on his set. Do they hear that? Go outside for that. Maxie says, it’s not going to be a problem with Sasha, when Sasha walks in. He says, no? He’s got eyes and ears. He knows all about Sasha-a. If he’s to create an iconic image, he cannot have a fragile, unstable flower. Maxie says, Sasha is stronger than he thinks. She won’t let him down, Maxie promises. He turns around to see Sasha and says he prefers to hear that from Sasha herself.

Felicia sits in the Bistro, when Stella puts a cup in front of her – some chamomile to calm her down – and a piece of cake – and some sugar to pep her up. She sits down and says, Felicia has been jittery and distracted all afternoon. Come on, out with it. Felicia says she doesn’t know where to begin, and Stella suggests she begin at the beginning. She doesn’t have any place else to be except here with Felicia. Felicia says, it’s horrifying. Her best friend accidentally shot someone last night, a young girl, and it’s all her fault.

Spencer meets Laura at the MetroCourt and asks if she’s okay. She sounded really serious on the phone. Laura says, it is serious, and thanks him for meeting her. She wanted him to hear it from her before he heard it on the news. He says, what is it? and she says, his cousin Charlotte was shot last night. He says, what? Is she… Laura says, she’s alive, and Spencer asks, who shot her? She says, Anna Devane.

At the penthouse, Sonny asks where Anna is going, and she says she has to explain everything to Valentin, but he says, that’s the last thing she wants to do.

Nina says Charlotte’s name, and Valentin says, she’s waking up. He asks her to come back to them and she opens her eyes. He says, she’s awake. He speaks to her in French and says he was so worried about her.

Olivia calls to Eddie outside the boathouse and sees his guitar and shoes. She goes inside, but it’s empty, so she goes back out and finds his jacket on a chair. She wonders what he did and calls to him again. She asks if he can hear her, and wonders what to do. She takes off her jacket, says, please let him be okay, and jumps in. She swims under the water, looking for him.

Brook says, it’s weird to hear Lois say she’s fine. Even weirder to know she is. For once, she’s not in any crisis. Lois says, hear, hear, and Brook says, but that doesn’t mean she doesn’t need Lois any less. It’s been amazing having her here, and a little bit strange while dad is going through this Eddie Maine thing. Lois says, strange to Brook? and Brook says, growing up, she used to hear all these stories about Eddie Maine, the rock star, the rebel. But she never saw it for herself until he performed at The Savoy. It was like a childhood fairytale come to life. Lois says, Eddie Maine was, and is, a huge part of her father’s life, and a huge part of her life. She fell for him, hard, and he fell for her, until she discovered he was actually somebody else.

Stella asks what Felicia means, it was her fault? and Felicia says, Mac told her that Anna, her friend, came home to find someone in her apartment. The lights were off, and the intruder seemed to have a weapon. Anna thought she was in danger, so she fired. It turned out to be a 15-year-old girl. Stella says, good Lord, what was she doing at Anna’s? and Felicia says, they don’t know, but right now, she’s in the hospital fighting for her life. Stella still doesn’t see why Felicia thinks she’s responsible, and Felicia says, it was her idea Anna move in to her daughter’s old apartment. If she’d just had Anna stay with them, none of this would have happened. Stella says, she doesn’t know that.

As Sasha gets her makeup done, Maxie stands in a set adorned with flowers. She tells Salvadore, their spring line is all about renewal. Updated colors, a softer palate, a whisper of nature. Imagine Sasha in this Eden with a sweet baby animal by her side. He says, the garden is ready, but where is the baby animal? and she says, it will be here; she promises. Unfortunately, the lamb she booked got laryngitis, but she called in a favor for a backup. In the meantime, why doesn’t he shoot Sasha getting her groove on in this beautiful garden? He says he supposes they must. Come, Sasha. Is she ready?

Laura says, apparently, Anna mistook Charlotte for an intruder in her apartment, and Spencer asks how this is even possible. Laura says she doesn’t have all the details yet, but she knows Anna isn’t reckless, so she must have felt there was a genuine threat there. He asks why Charlotte was even in Anna’s apartment in the first place, but Laura says, they just don’t know yet. When she left the hospital this morning, Charlotte was out of surgery, but she hasn’t woken up yet. He says, but she will, and Laura says, yes. She’s supposed to make a full recovery. He says, thank God, and she says she’s going to go back over to the hospital later and visit her, but she wanted Spencer to hear it from her in person. Actually, there’s something else she needs to talk to him about. And it is important.

Charlotte says, Nina. They’re both here, together. Nina says she wanted to be here when Charlotte woke up, and Valentin asks how Charlotte is feeling. She says her stomach hurts and her mouth is dry. Nina gets a cup with a bendy straw and says, here’s some ice chips. Drink slowly. (I don’t know as she’ll be drinking ice chips, but okay.) Valentin asks if she can tell them what happened. Does she remember? Charlotte says she thinks so. It was Halloween. They were trick-or-treating, and then… Anna. Anna shot her.

Anna thanks Sonny for letting her stay here last night. She’s very grateful, but she can’t hide out here forever. She has to face Valentin, and she has to get him to understand. Sonny says he knows she wants to confront things, but now may not be the right time. He and Valentin are different people, but they’re both fathers. He doesn’t think he would be ready, if it was him, to accept her explanations at this point. There’s a knock at the door, and Sonny opens it to Dante. Dante comes in, and Anna asks if he’s here to arrest her.

Eddie comes up for air, then goes back underwater, frog kicking away.

Brook says she can’t believe Lois jumped out of a cake, and Lois says, Kathryn Bell nearly jumped out of her skin. Surprise! Brook says, that’s got to be the best revenge she’s ever heard, and Lois says she figured they both deserved a swift kick in the pants. Brook says, but still, she’s sorry Lois had to go through all that, and Lois says, boo-hoo. That’s all in the rearview mirror. She likes to drive toward the future. Brook says, she’s amazing, and Lois says she likes to drive down the road. She never knows where it’s going to take her. Lots of funny places. Like here for example. And what did she get? Her beautiful, talented, feisty daughter, who’s now keeping the musical flame alive. See? It all comes full circle. Brook says, living the dream. At least trying to. Lois says, that’s all any of us can do. Unfortunately, Brook’s dream comes with a lot of potholes. So she’s just got to make sure those potholes don’t knock her off-course.

Stella tells Felicia to get one thing straight. No crystal ball in the world could have predicted that girl being in Anna’s apartment. Felicia says, she’s right, but recently, someone burned down Anna’s house. Anna’s been stalked and threatened, and Felicia should have seen the danger signs. Stella says, how? What happened at Anna’s place was a crime, but Felicia’s heart was in the right place, offering her a fresh start. Felicia says she just wanted to keep Anna safe. She never imagined this. Stella says, she’s been a good friend to Anna. The real culprit is out there. Pray that they’re soon behind bars.

Spencer says, if this is about his father, don’t bother. He realizes Laura wants to give him the benefit of the doubt, but Nikolas has been absent from his life for too long. Now he’s done the same thing to Ace. Spencer just doesn’t have it in him to forgive Nikolas anymore. Laura says, he’s not going to do himself any good by feeding this anger, and he says he knows, which is why he’s channeling all that energy into taking care of Ace. So he can be there for Ace, and make sure he feels safe and secure, and he doesn’t need a father because Ace has him. Esme runs in and says she’s so sorry to interrupt. She sits down and says, Doc told her they were both here. She has news that can’t wait.

Valentin says, it’s okay, and Charlotte says she didn’t know Anna would shoot her. Nina says, it was an accident, a terrible, terrible accident. Anna thought she was an intruder; she didn’t know it was Charlotte. Charlotte asks if that’s what she said, and Nina says she saw Anna this morning. She feels terrible, and she’s so worried about Charlotte. She thought someone was breaking in and she fired in self-defense. Charlotte asks what Anna told Valentin.

Dante says he’s not here for Anna’s arrest. He’s here as a friend and to let her know about some stuff from the PCPD. Anna says, don’t compromise himself for her, but he says, there’s nothing that would compromise himself; it’s the contents of Charlotte’s backpack. But first he wanted to know how Anna thinks Charlotte got into her apartment. She says she doesn’t know, and he asks if she thinks there’s a chance she didn’t lock her door. She asks what he thinks after everything she’s been through in the past few months, but he says he’s just trying to help her. She says she locked the door. That’s what tipped her off that there was an intruder, because when she got back from seeing Robert, the door was unlocked. And she thought that maybe this person who’d been terrorizing her was inside. That’s why she pulled her gun… and made the worst mistake of her life.

Sasha comes out in a pale orange Grecian style gown, and Salvadore tells her, relax and make friends with the cam-er-a. He’s here to capture the essence of her. Maxie tells her, but no pressure, and Salvadore begins taking pictures. He says, very nice… but what’s with those shoulders? Loosen those bones. They’re in paradise. What is there to worry about? She poses, and he says, beautiful, as he takes more photos. Yes, now she’s with them. Cody comes in and asks if anyone ordered a baby alpaca. He sees Sasha and he’s mesmerized.

Esme tells Laura that she found the perfect place. It’s on the ground floor. It’s right by the park. It’s a tad pricey, but it’s so safe, and if Laura’s still willing to chip in with her earnings from The Invader, she thinks it’s the perfect place for her and Ace. She has an appointment in 45 minutes. Spencer says, cancel it. She’s not taking Ace anywhere. She pops him in the nose. Not really, but it’s my fantasy.

Valentin says he hasn’t spoken to Anna. He hasn’t left Charlotte. He’s been too worried. He knows she left Jake and the others on Halloween night, and he knows she changed her Halloween costume. Why did she do that? Why did she go to Anna’s? How did she get into Anna’s apartment?  

Felicia says, voicemail, and Stella says, that’s all she can do for now. Felicia says she’s worried about Mac. He may be the one who has to arrest Anna. And her brother-in-law Robert. Will he be the one who has to prosecute her or recuse himself from the case? It’s all a big mess right now. Stella says, Felicia needs a breather. Why doesn’t she take tomorrow off? Felicia says, no dice. If she doesn’t stay busy, she’s going to spend the entire day worrying about Anna. Stella says, she’s right. Drink her tea.

Dante tells Anna, one of the items found in Charlotte’s backpack was a key with a keychain in the shape of a shoe. Does that ring any bells? Anna says, it sounds like the one Maxie gave her with the key to her apartment. Sonny asks if she lost it, and Anna says she did. She didn’t know she had until she was taking some things to the apartment, and she realized it was gone. The super gave her a duplicate. Dante asks when she last had the key, and she says she thinks she showed it to Valentin. Charlotte was there at his house. Sonny and Dante exchange looks, and she says, what?

Brook says, now Lois is confusing her. She feels like she’s getting mixed messages. Lois says, not at all. All she’s saying is, the music business is like… the roller derby. There’s a sweet jackpot, but it’s ruthless. You think you’re ahead, when all of a sudden, here comes Mary Choppins, and she’s got an elbow jab – boom! Brook knows her motto, no fight… Brook says, no win, and Lois says, there you go. So are she and Blaze ready to go into battle? Brook says she feels like they are. With Blaze’s chops and her songs, she feels like this is her chance to build something from the ground up. Lois says, yes, and that is a long way to go. And there is a much easier life. Her granny’s gift of Deception.

Eddie swims around underwater, looking for his siren. Olivia swims around underwater, looking for Eddie.

Salvadore continues to snap photos, and Maxie asks Cody to get the llama for the next set-up, but he’s transfixed, watching Sasha. Salvadore says, this is Eden, and Maxie says, Cody?

Esme tells Spencer that she’s going to look at the apartment, unless Laura has changed her mind about helping her with the rent. Laura says she hasn’t changed her mind. She’s looking forward to seeing it. Spencer says, what? and Laura says, just a minute. She tells Esme, and after she’s seen it, if she thinks it’s a safe place, she’ll co-sign the lease. Spencer says, they’ve been through this. Esme has thought about moving out before, and he thinks she came to her own realization that Ace is better off where he is. He’s happy, he’s in a safe home, and he’s surrounded by family. Esme says, a lot has changed since then. She’s more confident as a mother now, and she and Ace are ready to be on their own. He asks how she knows what Ace is ready for, and Esme says, she is his mother. She gets up and says, her job is to make decisions for him. She has to go. She picks up her stuff and leaves. Spencer asks Laura, how could you do this?

Valentin asks what Charlotte was hoping to find at Anna’s, and Nina says, Charlotte just woke up. She needs to rest. So maybe their questions can wait, and she can focus on getting better. Charlotte says, that’s okay. She wants to tell them what happened. Papa needs to know.

Sonny says, it’s pretty obvious Charlotte used that key to get into Anna’s apartment. He’s just trying to figure out how she got it. Did she find it? Did she take it? Anna wonders why she would take it. It doesn’t make any sense. Dante says, maybe some of the other items in her backpack can shed some light on it, and Anna asks, what items? Dante says, spray paint; same brand, same color that was used to write murderer on Anna’s front door.

Felicia thanks Stella for taking the time to sit with her. She knows there are a lot of people who count on Stella. How is Curtis doing? Stella says, Curtis is a fighter. Every time she looks at him, she sees the pain behind his eyes. He had such a zest for life – running, boxing, dancing. Like the sister said, he was the greatest dancer. Not anymore. Felicia says she’s sorry. Is that why Stella is staying in Port Charles and not going to London to be with her cousin? Stella says, yes… and no.

Brook asks if that was a subtle don’t quit your day job jab, because Lois doesn’t think she has what it takes to take Blaze over the top. Lois says, au contraire, honey bear. The song Brook and Chase played for her has the perfect hook. She just wants to make sure Brook understands what she’s setting herself up for. Brook asks, what happened to, do what you love, and the money will come? and Lois says, of course (🍷) it will come, but it’s a 24/7 job. No weekends, no holidays. Or Brook can have an easier life – Deception. Brook says, too many bad memories and lost friendships, and Lois says, why not just take the company back and hand it over to her friends? That would really spite Tracy. Not that she or Brook would ever do anything purely for spite. Brook says, who, us? and Lois asks what she says. Does she want to stick it to granny?

Eddie gets his ankle tangled in some seaweed and struggles to get out. He flashes back to Brook, Olivia, and Lois, and the times everyone has said he’s Ned Quartermaine. He remembers being with Olivia at The Savoy and playing for Brook. He starts to remember being Ned. Olivia surfaces and calls for Eddie. She goes back underwater.

Sonny says, there’s a lot of red spray paint in the world. Just because Charlotte had the same brand and the same color, doesn’t prove anything. It was Halloween. Kids are tagging everything at that point, right? Dante says, graffiti? and Sonny says, yeah. Dante says, that would explain the other costume she had in her backpack. Anna says, what if it’s worse than that? Because she thinks she’s identified the person who’s targeting her. He’s from her early years at the WSB, and this individual is ruthless enough to co-opt a child. What if he’s using Charlotte to get to her? Dante says, if that is the case… She says she has to talk to Valentin and heads out the door. Dante asks if Sonny is just going to let her go.

Charlotte tells Valentin that she switched her costume because she didn’t think he’d like her to go as a tarot card character. He doesn’t like when she does the cards. He tells her that he never said that, but she says she can tell. Whenever she asks to do a reading on him, he says no. He says, she still hasn’t said why she was at Anna’s, and she says she found Anna’s key. Anna showed it to them. It must have fallen out of her purse. She just wanted to give it back. She knocked on the door and no one answered, so she just let herself in. She was going to leave a note. That’s when Anna came in and shot her. Nina says, that’s enough. Charlotte needs to rest. Charlotte gets all teary and says she only wanted to help. Is he angry with her? Valentin says, no. He loves her. He’ll always love her no matter what. She says she only wanted to help, and he says, Nina’s right. She needs to rest. He kisses her on the forehead, and he and Nina leave.

In the hallway, Valentin says, she’s lying… about everything, and Nina says, she’s awake. She’s alive. All this other stuff, it can wait. He says, she’s right; that’s all that matters. He thanks her for being here for Charlotte, and she takes his hand. She says she’s just a phone call away. She’ll be back tomorrow. She leaves and Valentin looks sick.

Cody leads the alpaca to Sasha, and she asks what he’s doing here (Cody, not the alpaca). She says, who’s this little guy? and he says, meet Ferdinand, named after his favorite bull. But don’t tell Salvadore. He might throw him in a ring or something. Sasha promises she won’t, and says, he’s so cute (he is!), petting the alpaca. Cody says, he’s super gentle. Look at his eyelashes. She says, he does not need any makeup, and they pet the alpaca. Salvadore sees, and says, stay just like that. Perfection. He takes photos, but Maxie says, they have to get the alpaca wrangler out of the shot. Salvadore asks if she’s mad. This is what makes it so authentic. He takes more photos.

 Felicia tells Stella, that’s not fair. What’s the yes and what’s the no? Stella says, it’s nothing, but Felicia says, come on. She’s been pouring her heart out to Stella. Stella said part of their job is to listen, so consider this training, and let her listen to Stella. Stella says, Felicia is playing her own card against her, and Felicia says, uh-huh. Stella laughs and says, all right. While she was in London, visiting her cousin Wanda, she met someone special. Felicia says, who? and Stella says, George. Charming, sharp, and oh so very British, proper in every way. Felicia says, that’s exciting. Is he a friend of Wanda’s? Stella says, no. He was a regular at their favorite Italian spot. She noticed he was looking at her, and he was a bit of all right. They exchanged glances, and then one day she went to pay the bill, and they said, the gentleman who just left took care of it. Can she imagine? So she went right out, and there he was, looking at her, waiting. Felicia asks, what happened? and Stella says, what didn’t happen? He became her tour guide. They roamed the city together. Galleries, gardens, you name it. It was like something out of a movie. Magical. Felicia says, she fell head over heels, didn’t she? and Stella says, more than she could have ever imagined. Felicia says, but? and Stella says, George proposed. Felicia says, she turned him down, and Stella says she did. Felicia asks, why? and Stella says, because accepting would have meant London for life, and as much as she loves George, her family, her heart, her essence are all right here.

Brook tells Lois, that was Maxie. They borrowed the alpaca for a photo shoot. Ferdy’s such a cute alpaca… She knows Lois is just looking out for her, and so is Chase… Lois says, Brook never told her that Chase was on the same page as she was, and Brook says, he had the same idea that she should just walk in to Deception like a Trojan horse. Lois says she knew that guy was a keeper, but Brook says, there’s a catch. Tracy. She’s not stupid. She did as Brook predicted and made herself President of the Board and made it impossible to vote her out. Lois says, Tracy is not all that. With Brook’s smarts, and a little bit of cunning, she can make things right for her friends. Brook says she doesn’t know, and Lois says, the best way to get rid of the queen is from inside the castle, not from outside the gates. So she takes the job, then she lets destiny do its work. She looks at Brook’s hand and says, and always make sure she gets a fresh manicure every week. Except on Thursdays. Thursdays are bad luck.

Olivia sees Eddie, still stuck, and swims to him.

Anna sees Valentin outside Charlotte’s room.

Sonny tells Dante, Anna is whistling in the wind. It doesn’t make any sense to him that a WSB agent tells Charlotte to go to Anna’s apartment with a backpack full of spray paint. Dante says he doesn’t know what to think. When Charlotte was staying with them, she was quiet and reserved, but she was polite and gracious. Did she fit in 100% with the kids? Not really, but she hung out with Rocco a lot and went out of her way to hang out with Danny and Scout. She’s had a complicated life, right? She wasn’t always an angel. Sonny asks if Charlotte is capable of targeting Anna, and Dante says he doesn’t know, but the evidenced is pointing that way. Like Sonny said, it’s a farfetched idea to think there’s some mysterious person from Anna’s past that’s secretly pulling the strings. Sonny nods.

Spencer asks why Laura is helping Esme take Ace away from him, but Laura says, Esme isn’t taking Ace away from him. She’s creating a home for herself and for her son. He says, but Esme can’t take care of Ace alone. Ace needs him. She says she thinks Ace does need him, and he always will, as his big brother, not as a substitute father. He says, Ace doesn’t have a father, and she says she knows. It’s really unfortunate, but Spencer and Esme are not a couple, right? And he’s not ready to commit himself to Esme. So what’s best for Ace is that they make this change now before he’s old enough to remember things used to be different. He says, she’s wrong. Ace needs to stay with him. He storms out.

Taking more photos, Salvadore says, an ethereal vision of a baby alpaca with trust in its eyes. It’s a paradise reborn. Before the serpent. Maxie says, Cody is not a model, and Salvadore says, neither is the alpaca. He’s an alpaca and Cody’s a man. Did she not hire Salvadore? This is what he’s talking about. Salvadore’s vision of spring. Maxie asks if Cody is good, and Cody says, yeah, sure. Why not? Salvadore says, enough of this talk. Sasha-a, listen to the alpaca. She’s his mother. She is teaching it life. And you, trainer, never take your eyes off her. Cody says, not a problem. Salvadore takes pictures of Cody and Sasha, Sasha and the alpaca, and Cody, Sasha, and the alpaca. Maxie says, this is perfect.

Lois tells Brook that Tracy’s a snake. She’s a smart snake, but… Brook says she almost feels bad, talking about getting Tracy out of Deception when she’s going through something so personal. It feels wrong. Lois says, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. Tracy would be the first one to say it. Family is one thing, and business is another, and with this business, you gotta be tough as nails. Brook says she guesses Lois is right, and like she said, Tracy is a snake. So how do they defang her? Lois says, that is the million-dollar question, isn’t it? She guesses she’ll have to stick around a little longer and help Brook figure it out. Brook says, works for her, and they join hands. Lois says, besides, she’s always had a thing for snakeskin boots, and they laugh.

Olivia gets to Eddie just in time, and untangles him. She beings to bring him up to the surface.

Tomorrow, Curtis and Drew toast to freedom and survival; Kristina says, this is an opportunity for Blaze to break that cycle; Charlotte tells Laura that Anna is dangerous and they can’t trust her; and Anna says, there’s something Valentin needs to know.

Southern Charm

Breakfast is served at Taylor’s family’s lake house, and they say grace. Penny begs at the table, and I don’t blame her. I love breakfast food. Taylor says, Olivia is coming in an hour, and mom Leslie says, it’s so soothing here. It’s been a rough couple weeks, and as one of Olivia’s closest friends, Taylor has to own whatever it was to come out on top. In Taylor’s interview, she says she’s excited, but nervous, and hopes to repair the friendship and move forward. Leslie is so right about it being soothing there. This is one gorgeous piece of property.

Olivia calls her mom and says she misses them. She’s heading to Taylor’s family’s mountain house. Her mom says, it will help, but Olivia says she’s hesitant to go. In Olivia’s interview, she says, between the sh*t with Taylor and what happened with her brother, she has unresolved things. Part of her thinks it might be good to get answers and clarity about what to do in regard to the friendship. Her mom says she has a right to be angry, and Olivia says she wants to see Taylor’s family. She’s looking forward to that. She knows it will be a good visit with Taylor’s parents, but doesn’t know how to navigate talking things out with Taylor. Her mom says, she has to clear it up.

Austen and Shep arise, and Shep drinks from milk from the container, then burps at Little Craig. He says, it’s a very different morning here, and Austen takes Little Craig out to play fetch. He can hear Rod snoring outside, and he and a producer laugh about it. In Austen’s interview, he says, last night was lovely. They had cocktails, the conversation was flowing, and there was male fellowship. We flash back, and he says, it was a pretty fun time. We flash back to the heated argument that ensued. Craig calls Paige and asks how her Valentine’s Day was. She reminds him that he said he’d buy her a bag. He says he is, and she says she’s picked it out. She asks how it is there, and he says, fun. He made a bomb-ass dinner. Rod joins JT in the sitting room, and JT says he went for a walk/run. He’s been up four hours, had three cups of coffee, and a hot chocolate. He asks how Rod is feeling, and Rod says he feels the same after sleeping on it. He’s stuck on the info he received from Austen. It was a slap in the face. Austen did what he always does at the first chance; throw Olivia under the bus. We flash back to Austen telling Rod about Olivia stopping by, and Rod says, he and Olivia aren’t together, but her ending up at another guy’s house the same day they had a date isn’t ideal. He’s hoping Austen is lying. JT says, fly fishing will take Rod’s mind off of it, and Shep comes in. JT wonders what to wear, and Shep says, they’ll get waders. Jeans are fine; it’s not complicated. JT asks if they serve alcohol, and Rod says, they’ll be working too hard to be drinking. Shep keeps coughing and says, nobody drink the milk. He took a swig and he’s been coughing like crazy. JT says, good news. He just poured milk in his coffee. He’ll be joining Shep in his misery.

They head out for fly fishing on the bus, and it’s beautiful out. They meet their guide Cole and are given waders. JT has a hard time getting into his. They hike to a beautiful waterfall and are given fishing instructions. Cole asks if there are any questions, but there aren’t any. I figure that’s probably because these guys have empty heads. In Shep’s interview, he says, fly fishing makes him happier than anything. He’s connected to nature and feels like a man. It’s so satisfying to share all this with friends. JT snags his line in a tree, and in Austen’s interview, he says he’s feeling very A River Runs Through It, Brad Pitt-y. JT ends up in the water, and says, it’s cold. In JT’s interview, he says, it’s supposed to be cathartic, therapeutic, and contemplative, but he’s contemplating why he’s wet and cold and has no fish. He wants out of the waders. Nobody has caught anything, when Austen gets one, but it unhooks. Craig catches a stick, and Rodrigo asks when Paige is coming back. Craig says, in a couple days, and Rodrigo asks when he sees it becoming permanent. Craig says he’s sitting here waiting for her decision on moving in. He doesn’t know the math. He says, Rodrigo has been with Tyler a long time, and we flash back to the pheasant dinner Tyler attended. Rodrigo says, it’s definitely work, but he thinks they’re past the seven-year itch. Craig says he and Paige have been together for a while. He’s thinking it’s time to sh*t or get off the pot. Rodrigo asks if he’s said to her, but Craig says, no. Rodrigo asks what Craig’s timeframe would be for getting married in an ideal world, and Craig says, if it was up to him, they’d be engaged by the end of the year. He’s 35, and his parents had him and his brother at 28 and 29. In Craig’s interview, he says, Paige is 30 and says she’ll want kids at 35, but he’ll be 40 then. His biological clock is ticking. He tells Rodrigo that he wants a white picket fence and wants him and Paige to trend in that direction. It comes down to, what does he want more? To be with Paige and be patient that he’ll have a family with her, or does he want a family so bad, he’ll have to leave the love of his life? Rodrigo asks if he wants a family without the love of his life, and Craig says, no, but he feels like they’re spinning in circles. Shep catches a fish, but then loses it when he yanks the line, and it flies behind him. Austen thinks it’s time to throw in the towel, and Rodrigo says he thinks JT caught some fish in his pants.

Olivia arrives at the lake house, and Leslie meets her outside. Leslie says, her hope and prayer is for Olivia to remember how much God loves her. He rescues the broken-hearted and she hopes He’ll rescue Olivia’s crushed spirit while she’s here. Olivia looks around at the great outdoors and says, wow. Leslie says, God’s creation; you can’t top that. Olivia hugs Rick and thanks them for having her. Rick says she’s welcome anytime, and in Olivia’s interview, she says, as awkward as things are with Taylor, she loves Taylor’s parents. It’s a weak spot for her. When their moms met, they hit it off and talked for the rest of the evening, not even touching their plates. They even had Christmas dinner together one time. Taylor tells her that she talked to Shep, and he invited them for dinner, but she said she’d let him know what time. She points to a mountain across the lake, and says, he’s right there. Penny hops around, and Olivia and Taylor sit outside. Taylor gives Olivia a bracelet from her and her mom for Olivia’s birthday and to remember Connor. In Taylor’s interview, she says, it’s not about her; it’s about Olivia. she has to make it right. Taylor tells Olivia that she’s been giving her time and space. She feels like a sh*tty friend; lying, doubling down, and betraying Olivia’s trust. She wants to earn Olivia’s trust back. That’s what’s important to her. Olivia says, what’s most hurtful and eats her up is not having the trust. She prioritized their friendship over everything in this and wants it to be okay, but she needs Taylor to be honest. Taylor says, it would be easier to say she and Austen hooked up or dated. They had a moment after New York. She and Shep weren’t speaking, and Olivia and Austen weren’t speaking. Olivia says, Taylor was the person she was confiding in all through this. Taylor was talking to Austen on her behalf, and Taylor was telling her that Austen loved her. We flash back to the Reunion, where Taylor said she thought Austen should beg Olivia for another chance. Olivia says, yet Taylor was contemplating her own feelings for Austen, and now she questions all of it. Taylor says, Olivia had gone to L.A., and Olivia says, when she left New York, she needed to clear her head. She could see Austen had checked out of the relationship. Taylor says, Olivia was in L.A. for a while, but Olivia says she was only gone a week. She believes Taylor and Austen had sex. Taylor says she and Austen didn’t hook up, and Olivia says, Taylor and Austen can both tell her that, but she no longer believes Taylor. They’re broken, and she’s not sure how much friendship there is to salvage. She loves Taylor’s family, but doesn’t feel comfortable. Taylor wants her to stay, but Olivia says she just needed a change of scenery for a second. Taylor thanks her for coming, and they go back inside. In Taylor’s interview, she says she’s disappointed. She didn’t think this is how the conversation would go, and that she wouldn’t be able to pull Olivia out of whatever she’s thinking. Olivia is who she is. Once the gears are going, it’s hard to retract. Olivia says goodbye to the family and leaves.

The guys stop at a winery on the way back from fly fishing, and rib JT, who has no clothes to change into. Shep says, at least his butt is clean. At the winery, they choose wines and sit outside. Shep sees that Olivia called and calls her back. She asks if it’s cool for her to come to the house, and he asks, what’s going on? She says, she and Taylor had a conversation, and she thinks they’re both going to take some space for a bit. She wants to spend the night at Shep’s, but doesn’t want to crash guy time. Shep tells her to meet them at the winery; it’s on the way from Taylor’s. The wine is brought out, and everyone gets something similar to a coffee mug tree, but with filled wine glasses. Quite a generous pour for a tasting. Shep texts the address to Taylor, and Austen says, it’s the turbulence of his actions. Craig says he’s sad for Olivia, and Shep says, he and Austen are built different because they’re dirtbags. He’s not wrong. Olivia arrives, and JT says he fell in the creek and got the rapids up his butthole. She thanks Shep for letting her crash, and he asks how she left it with Olivia. She says, it wasn’t easy to leave. They both want the same thing at the end of the day, but they need to figure out how to get there. Craig says, he took a multi-year break from his ex, and doesn’t want that for anyone else, but it can take a while. Shep says he invited Taylor to dinner, and we flash back to that. He says, she’s coming up later, and tells Olivia, sorry. In Olivia’s interview, she says, well, sh*t. She left Taylor’s house just to have dinner with her. She wants to leave, but it’s not an option, and they’re out in the middle of nowhere. Shep says, the chef has prepared some delectable treats. Let’s have an awesome dinner. They get back on the bus, Rod riding with Olivia. In Austen’s interview, he says, to be honest, he’s seen more chemistry in his 10^th grade class than between Rod and Olivia. Wow. Not too many sour grapes. He tells the guys that Rod follows Olivia like a lost puppy dog. In the car, the silence is heavy. Rod asks what Olivia thinks it will be like with Taylor there. Will she just talk to other people or be superficial? Olivia says she doesn’t even know what to do. They get to the house, and Olivia is impressed. Chefs Davin and Sharon have a feast prepared, and Shron tells Shep, they’ve got it all together. Austen asks Olivia if she’s good, and Olivia says she’d like to go back home. It’s awkward here and she needs to process and decompress. She thinks he has an idea of what that consists of. Austen admits he was wrong and says, it’s going to be a fun night ahead.

When Taylor gets there, she sits outside with JT. They discuss the merits of a beach house versus a mountain house. JT says he’s glad she had the courage to come up, and if there’s anything they can do to help, even if it’s just listening, they will. He’s not specific as to who they are. Maybe that’s his pronoun. I have no idea. Taylor thanks him, and Olivia comes outside, but doesn’t know where to sit.

Taylor asks Rod how fly fishing was, since it was his first time, and he says, humbling and fun. They sit down to eat, and we find out that Rod has never had salad. Taylor says, that’s weird, and Rod says, it’s embarrassing. The food is simple yet fabulous. Craig says he’s going to start keeping notes on things he thinks are nightmares, and Shep gives Taylor a bee sticker he randomly got at the drugstore or something. In JT’s interview, he says, Shep is a good-hearted nihilist. His psychoanalysis for today. I think JT likes to use big words. Shep says, they’re making tinfoil hats and Craig is going to tell them about conspiracy theories, which actually sounds like fun. Craig says, the government can hear them, but not if they’re wearing the hats. In his interview, JT says, he can’t believe Craig thinks pandas are humans, and we flash back to that. In Craig’s interview, he says, if you have to ask what the tinfoil hats are for, you’re not ready to know. He tells them that aliens don’t respect bareheads. They see the hats and know these people are ready for reckoning. This is so silly, I’m deciding he’s just constantly goofing on everyone to break up the awfulness of the people who do sh*tty stuff because they are sh*tty people. Everyone’s hat is different, and they put them on and Shep says, come outside; it’s time. Even Little Craig has a hat on. Craig tells them, people say conspiracy theories are dangerous, but knowing the truth is never dangerous. Modern technology couldn’t build the Pyramids. They were laser cut and pinpoint magnetic beacons in the sky for the space people. He adds, aliens is derogatory. Someone asks if the moon landing is real, and Craig says, they haven’t been back since the 60s. In his interview, he says he thinks it’s real, but we’re prepared to fake it. Watch Transformers; that explains it. Shep and JT go to play ping pong, and Rod sits inside with Olivia. He says he’s glad she came. He wanted to bring something to her attention. She’s obviously going through some things. He launches into the story about his friend stopping by Austen’s and she says, who saw the pink bra? She took her bra off and tossed it. She was leaving and told Austen, just throw it away. Nothing happened. Rod says he went to bed thinking about it, and woke up thinking about it. He was distracted by fly fishing, then it was on his mind again. I’m thinking, Rod’s picture is next to cringeworthy in the dictionary, and I kind of feel sorry for him. Olivia apologizes, but I’m not sure why she thinks she should. Rod says he wants to be as direct as possible. He’s very interested and thinks they shouldn’t see other people and exclusively date. I have no words. Well, time and place come to mind.

JT wins at ping-pong, which infuriates Shep. Olivia says, Rod is literally the perfect guy (no, no he’s not) and she respects him too much to drag him along. She is seeing other people, but wants to keep that open with him. The stuff with Austen threw her, and she has hesitation about getting into another relationship right after that. She needs to figure out the situation in her mental space. Rod says he appreciates it, but it’s not what he wants. Did they even go on a second date? What’s with this guy? Shep goes outside, and Austen asks how drunk he is on a scale of one to ten. Shep says, five. JT tells Taylor that Shep is mad, and she says, he hates losing. She congratulates JT, which causes steam to come out of Shep’s ears, and he says, don’t f*** with him. Taylor says, he’s acting jealous and controlling, and Shep says, she enjoyed that he lost and rubbed it in his face. Taylor says she congratulated JT for winning and Shep’s mad because he doesn’t like losing. He says, she’s goddam right. Does she like poking the bear? She asks if he liked cheating on her, and he says, sometimes. It was fun. She wonders if she heard him right, and he affirms she did. She throws her drink on him, calling him a POS. She goes inside and says he wants out f***ing now. Olivia follows her in, and Shep tries to joke, but it goes over like a lead balloon. Taylor tells Olivia what Shep said, and says she wants out. Austen tells Shep to listen to himself, and Shep says, Austen’s been against him since day one. In Craig’s interview, he says, who knew ping-pong would literally spark the giant heap of baggage Shep has been carrying? This is what happens when you repress your feelings. There’s an explosion. He knew this would happen. Shep says, Austen f***s up privately, because God forbid he should be honest, real, and soul bearing. Um… Neither can Shep. His anger isn’t soul bearing. It’s a childish tantrum because he didn’t get his way. Shep says, Austen can’t be honest, and storms into the house. Olivia says, incoming, and Shep tells Taylor that he’s sorry, but she made him mad. She poked him, and that’s how he thinks. We flash back to him being a sore loser at the egg toss. Seriously? He’s 40? He says he can’t believe Taylor took JT’s side. Ha-ha-ha! It’s not like she’d been cheering JT on; he won. Taylor says, it’s not about the game more, it’s the underlying stuff Shep is upset about and has been bottling up. She’s always loved Austen and had a great friendship with him that Shep was supportive of. Shep whines, that’s because he trusted everyone. JT comes in and wonders if it’s a good time, and Shep says, she’s all his. Taylor tells him, stop doing that. Craig comes inside, and Taylor says she’s going to bed. Craig asks if Shep is good, and Shep says, yeah. He’s hanging out with his ex. Craig suggests picking at a scab is not the way to get it to heal, and Austen asks if they’re quarreling. In Craig’s interview, he says he knew Shep would lose it at some point, but he didn’t think over that. Shep says, funny how things manifest, and Austen asks if this is suppression, and Shep says, probably. In Shep’s interview, he says he bottles things up and he’s got to scream. Sometimes he can be dangerous when he pressurizes his anger and disappointment. Some people have therapists. Some people have a bottle of bourbon. Yep. Like a big three-year-old. I wonder why these people take this sh*t from Shep. Are trips to the mountains worth it?

While digging in her makeup bag, Olivia finds a polaroid of her and Austen, and she laughs. The guys make breakfast, and JT says he almost wants to have a beer to get over this pain. Olivia comes downstairs and sees Little Craig whining at one of the doors. She opens the door a crack, and Taylor and Shep are sleeping inside. Craig calls Paige, and Olivia runs in his and Austen’s room to tell Austen the news. Austen says, Shep and Taylor banged, and Craig relays the news to Paige. In Shep’s room, he asks if Taylor slept well, and she says, he disrupted her sleep with his coughing. Little Craig’s snoring doesn’t bother her. He says, so she came just for Craig, and she says she did. He asks if she got what she needed and calls her the kissing bandit. Rodrigo peeks in, and Shep says, they both slept in a bed with the dog they love. Rodrigo says, motherf***er, and Craig makes unsavory jokes. Olivia jumps on Austen’s bed and tells him to get up. Craig says, last night was insane. There were so many suppressed feelings. Taylor has done some sh*tty stuff recently, but she’s not a sh*tty person. If Taylor is backsliding with Shep, it’s not a path to her happiness. Olivia says she’s concerned Taylor is going backward, and in Olivia’s interview, she says she doesn’t know this Taylor. She tells Austen that she’s going downstairs to figure out coffee.

Olivia can’t wait to tell the Rods and JT about Taylor being in Shep’s bed. JT says he’s never seen a situation where a girl throws wine in a guy’s face, and then goes in the guy’s bed. There’s no coming back from that. Everyone gets ready to leave, and Rodrigo asks if Olivia left a bra upstairs. He tosses it to her, and she waves it like a flag, saying she took it off. Taylor asks if Shep is sad that they’re sleeping in the same bed, but not really. He says, no. She’s the one who said time and time again, he shouldn’t do that. She says she knows, and he says he thinks it’s time to get up.

Like Taylor, I’m just in it for the dog. Honestly, I’m not sure I could be friends with any of these people.

Next time, Whitney wants to eat the slice of wedding cake Patricia got from (at the time) Prince Charles and Camilla; Craig tells Paige that he wants a wife, children, and family; JT says, because Taylor got burned, she’s cooking everybody; and Shep says he meant every word he said.

🎨 Painting The Town Magenta…

Start your weekend with stopping by for some soap and more extras than you can fit in a clown car. Until then, stay safe, stay tolerating those relatives during the holiday season, and stay not getting a manicure on Thursday. According to Lois, it’s bad luck.