What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

General Hospital

As the smoke alarm goes off, Yuri, Ned, and Chase run to the kitchen. Lois asks Gloria, what did you do?

Nina leaves a gift basket outside the gatehouse. She says, they couldn’t be together, but she could leave her little ones a bit of her love.

In the MetroCourt elevator, Anna tells Emma, just what she needs, Thanksgiving with the three of them. As the elevator stops, Robert says, the four of them. They get out, and Diane is waiting. Robert says, there she is.

Drew plays a board game with Josslyn, Scout, and Avery, when the doorbell rings. Carly opens the door to Sonny, Dex, and Donna. Donna hugs her and says, happy Thanksgiving.

Marshall tells Curtis, all quiet on the Western Front. There’s not much for him to do around here. Curtis says, Portia is on-call at the hospital and Aunt Stella is off globe-trotting again. Marshall says, and Miss Trina is off doing her own thing, but Curtis says, it’s just as well. He looks at a floorplan on his tablet, and Marshall asks, what’s all this? Is he considering becoming an architect? Curtis says, this is the floorplan of the 11^th floor of the MetroCourt hotel, and Marshall asks why he’s looking at it. Curtis says, because someone took a shot at him there and left him in this wheelchair. And he wants to find out who it was.

Portia leaves a message for Trina and says she’s just checking in. She knows Trina wanted to have a marathon study day, but she was calling to say hi. It’s pretty slow here at work. She’s sorry things aren’t working out with Spencer. She knows it has to be difficult, so she just wanted to say she’s here and she loves Trina. She hangs up and says, hopefully, that will be the last of Spencer Cassadine.

Hardly. In bed, Trina tells Spencer, happy Thanksgiving, and asks what he’s thankful for. He touches her and says, these arms… these hands… these lips, and he kisses her. Trina says, her mom – she’s like Wonder Woman without the hot pants – and then her granddad – he is gold – and she has two amazing fathers. She thinks that’s it. He says, not even an honorable mention? and she says, oh yeah. She’s thankful for him too. She kisses him.

Curtis tells Marshall that he has to admit there’s a lot to be thankful for; a beautiful house, a beautiful family, and now he has a purpose. Marshall says, solving this case is his purpose, and Curtis says, it is now.

Gloria looks at some texts on her phone. We warned you not apologizing would be very regrettable for you. Your silence on this matter is quite upsetting. We are owed an apology. Time’s running out. Lois says, she looks a million miles away. What’s up? Chase, Ned, and a sopping wet Yuri come back, and Yuri says, onions burning in pan set off sprinklers activated by smoke. Turkey’s wet. No good. Olivia says, oh my God, the turkey, and runs out. Ned runs after her, and Chase says, there’s no saving it. Brook says, wanna bet? and he says, unless you like soup. Yuri leaves to change, and Brook says she’d better call Cody and tell him that he, Sasha, and Leo don’t have to rush up here. She leaves with Chase, and Lois asks if Gloria knows the first thing she taught Lois about cooking. You never leave anything on the stove unless it’s on simmer. So what’s going on?

Robert says, this delightful young lady is their granddaughter Emma Drake, and Diane says, of course (🍷). So lovely to see her again. Emma thanks her and says, grandfather didn’t mention they’d have her with them. How wonderful. Anna says, absolutely, and Robert says he’s taken the liberty of ordering them turkey. Anna and Emma go to the table, and Diane says, Robert’s outdone himself this time. He says, all in a day’s work, Killer, when Nina comes in. She and Anna exchange glances.

Michael brings in the basket, and tells Wiley, it’s all his. Go for it. He unwraps it, and Willow asks what he’s got. He says, candy and a cool robot and a kitty for Amelia, and Michael looks at the card. Willow says, that’s so sweet. Who’s it from? Michael hands her the card and says, who else? She reads: To Wiley and Amelia, Happy Thanksgiving. So sorry I can’t be with you, but I left you some treats. Love, Grandma Nina. That is so thoughtful. Wiley asks why Grandma Nina isn’t coming for dinner at the big house, and Willow says, she’s working today, but they’ll see her soon. Wiley says he hopes so. He loves her. He goes to play with his robot, and Willow says she gets Michael’s not thrilled about the gift, but could he try for Wiley’s sake?

Sonny says he brought pecan pie, and Carly says she’s sure it’s going to be delicious. She suggests Donna go into the living room where they’re playing Monkey, and Donna runs off. Carly tells Sonny that Donna loves that game, and Dex says he’s going to leave, but Sonny asks if he wants to say hi to Josslyn. Dex says he would and tells Carly, happy Thanksgiving. Sonny tells him, don’t say I never do anything for you, and Dex goes into the living room.

Josslyn tells Dex that it’s unexpected to see him, and he says, she has Sonny to thank for that. She says she just might have to, and kisses him.

There’s a knock at the door, and Carly opens it to Ava. Ava says, happy Thanksgiving, handing Carly a bag, and Carly smiles at Sonny.

Olivia says, Gloria’s feast is drenched, and Brook says, Tony’s is closed for renovations. Olivia says, Tony’s is never closed. And they can’t use their pizza oven because the kitchen is ruined. Lois says, it’s not ruined. It’s just extremely wet. Olivia tells them that she hates to say I told you so, but Thanksgiving never works at the Quartermaines. The place is cursed. Lois says, stop it. Olivia owns a hotel with a gourmet restaurant. She’s just going to make a phone call and she’ll get turkey for the Quartermaines if it’s the last thing she does.

Nina answers the phone at the MetroCourt, and Lois asks, who’s this? Nina says, it’s Nina Reeves. May I help you? Lois says, it’s Lois Cerullo calling from the Quartermaines. She would like to order some turkey. Gloria tells Olivia that she’s so sorry, but Olivia says, it’s not her fault. Thanksgiving never works out. She doesn’t know if it’s the house or the family, but they haven’t had a turkey on Thanksgiving since the 90s. Lois says, ha-ha-ha! The problem is solved. They are back on track with the turkey. Olivia says, she’s kidding, but Lois says, nope. Nina Reeves is on her way over with a feat for 15; turkey, nibbles, deserts, the whole shebang. Olivia says, Lois is a genius, and asks Brook to come help her set up. Gloria says, Lois sure rode in to the rescue, and Lois says, although she wouldn’t have had to if Gloria had remembered she had onions on the stove. Gloria says, my bad, and Lois asks, what’s going on? First, she cancels her plans in Canarsie, then she ruins Thanksgiving in Port Charles. Gloria says, she heard Olivia, it’s the Quartermaine curse, but Lois says, no. She can tell something’s going on, and the more Gloria deflects, the more she’s going to worry. Gloria says, all right. A couple of weeks ago, she was playing Bingo at St. Nicholas Church, the Russian Orthodox up on North Street. She was playing her boards, minding her own business. She can do 15 at the same time… Lois asks if there’s a point to this, and Gloria says, yeah. Along comes this broad. She sits down next to Gloriaa and starts talking Russian on her phone at the top of her lungs. Gloria very nicely looked at her and said, could she turn it down a notch? and She swore at Gloria in Russian. Lois asks how Gloria knows what she said; she doesn’t speak Russian. Gloria says she played cribbage up in Brighton Beach (my old beach!) – Yuri comes back and stands outside the door – and she picked up a few words. Lois asks, then what happened? and Gloria says she tried to ignore it and keep things calm, but she kept pushing and pushing. So. Gloria finally swore at her… in English. Lois says, ma, and Gloria says, everyone has their limit, and she was not going to let that obnoxious woman bully her and she told her that. Lois asks how she took it, and Gloria says, she screamed and screamed, and they kicked Gloria out of the church. And she’s not allowed to play Bingo anymore until she apologizes to her, and she didn’t apologize. Lois says, fine. So she goes somewhere else to play Bingo. Gloria says, that’s what she’s planning on, and Lois says, so what’s the problem? Chase comes in and wonders where everybody went. Outside the door, Yuri looks troubled.

Willow suggests Wiley be a good big brother and see if Amelia woke up. If she did, he can surprise her with that adorable kitty cat. Wiley goes upstairs, and Michael asks if Willow isn’t finding this the least bit manipulative; sorry I can’t be with you today. She says, Nina’s a part of their family. Wiley really bonded with her at the wedding. Michael says, she’s going to take advantage like she did the last time, and Willow says, Nina’s made mistakes, but she’s trying. Why is he so intent on rekindling bad memories? He says, she’s right. He’s sorry. He’s just being protective, especially when it comes to her. She says, don’t be. Nina has been nothing but kind and wonderful. He says he’ll try to do better, especially around the kids, and she thanks him. Wiley comes back and tells Willow that Amelia’s awake. Can they go to the big house now? He wants to show Leo the cool toy from Grandma Nina. Michael says he’ll get Amelia ready, and goes upstairs.

Nina tells Trish that she just got off the phone with the Quartermaines. They need a turkey dinner for 15. Trish says, they have a 200 headcount tonight and a big party in the ballroom. Their turkeys are taken.  

Diane asks how long Emma’s in town, and Emma says, just for the weekend. She has to get back to the lab. Robert explains that she has an internship at Berkely, and everyone starts to chat. Anna sees Nina, excuses herself, and follows Nina out to the hallway. She says, Nina is avoiding her, and Nina asks what she wants. Anna says she just thinks it’s time they had a chat.

Spencer says he knows he can be a jerk sometimes, but who isn’t, right? and Trina says, let her see… Her mom, Curtis, Spencer’s grandmother, Doc… He says, okay, she’s right, and she asks if it isn’t easier to agree with her from the start. He says, yes, ma’am. He’s glad she’s able to forgive him. She talked him down from the ledge and he’s sorry it took so long. She says, he usually comes around, and he says he just doesn’t want his little brother to feel abandoned like he did, and she helped him see it’s not 100% one way or the other, that Esme wanting to take Ace and be independent doesn’t make her the villain. She says she knows it’s hard, but you can’t always get what you want, and he says he knows, but this one isn’t going to be easy. She says, good things never come easy. You have to work for them.

Curtis tells Marshall that he spoke with Jordan about getting all the preliminary police records. He just can’t sit around and wait for the PCPD to solve this. He’s got to be involved in his own investigation. Marshall asks if he really thinks that’s a good idea, and Curtis says he was a cop and a P.I. He knows his way around a good investigation. Marshall says, of course (🍷) he does, but he thought Curtis wanted to move on, and Curtis says he has to be proactive. It’s like being the passenger when he’s supposed to be the driver in his own car. Marhsall asks if he thinks getting involved in this investigation is going to make a difference, and Curtis says, at least he’ll be doing something. He’s learned in life that it’s not always about getting; it’s about giving and the experiences you get along the way. They fist bump.

Ava thanks Carly for inviting her, and Carly says she knows Avery would really want Ava here, especially after everything their family’s been through. They’re playing games in the living room. Ava says, hopefully nothing to do with water, mimicking a squirt gun, and Carly says, nothing with water, she promises.

Josslyn and Dex greet Ava, Dex calling her Miss Jerome, and Ava says, after everything that’s gone down, she’d prefer he call her Ava. Avery runs over to Ava, who picks her up and says she loves her.

Sonny asks if Carly is all right with Ava being here, and she says, actually, Josslyn suggested it. After the kidnapping, she thought it would be nice for Avery to be with her mother. Sonny says, but Carly agrees, and she says, yeah, because they do what’s best for their kids. He says, they always will.

Anna asks if Nina has any idea how her actions escalated an already volatile situation. By deleting that security footage and keeping quiet about it, Nina basically enabled Charlotte, which led directly to her being shot. Doesn’t Nina think she and Valentin had a duty to come clean about it? Nina says she thinks this is between Anna and Valentin. She was just doing a favor for a friend. Anna asks if she thinks Sonny will see it that way.

Sonny says, nice to see Drew out of that jumpsuit, and Drew says, nice to be seen. Sonny and Drew chat, and Dex tells Josslyn that it’s nice she got all the kids together. Sonny asks if Dex has the keys, and Dex asks if he needs something from the car, but Sonny says he has to get going. He thought maybe Dex would want to stay. Dex asks if he’s sure, and Sonny says, happy Thanksgiving. He says goodbye to the girls and leaves. Dex stops him at the door and says, happy Thanksgiving. Sonny says, him too, and leaves.

At the Quartermaines, Michael tells Willow, it looks like turkey’s off the menu. The kitchen sprinklers ran amuck. Brook says, there will be turkey, but Nina will bring it from the MetroCourt. Chase says, that’s Wiley’s grandma, saving the day, and Michael asks if there’s anything she can’t do.

The doorbell rings and Ned opens it to find Nina there with trays of food. She says, Ned, and he says, remember me? He remembers her, very clearly, but don’t worry. He’s not going to make any trouble. At least not today. Olivia comes in and says, let her take those. A guy comes in behind Nina with pizza boxes, and Olivia says she thought Nina was bringing turkey. Nina says, she told Lois she was bringing turkey, but then she found out their turkey was spoken for, so she had Fernando fire up their new pizza oven. Lucky for them, they started testing it last week. Ned asks if his grandfather can hear that. The curse continues. He takes the pizza boxes, and Brook comes in, saying, here she is to save the day… with pizza. Olivia says, don’t ask, and Wiley runs in. He hugs Nina and tells her, it’s the best robot ever. He thanks her and she hugs him, saying, he is so welcome.

Sonny says he didn’t know Emma was in town. Is her mother here? Emma says, no. She was grandpa’s surprise for grandma. He sits with them, and Diane suggests they toast to this lovely young woman’s visit, and to brighter holidays for all of them. They clink glasses.

Terry calls Portia at the hospital, and Portia asks, how’s the conference?… She’s not missing anything here really. It’s like a ghost town.

Trina and Spencer go to Trina’s house, bearing flowers and dessert, and Spencer produces a bottle of champagne. Marshall asks if it’s the good stuff, and Spencer says he wanted to make sure they had a happy Thanksgiving. Marshall looks at the bottle and says, no argument here. He and Spencer go to the kitchen, and Curtis says, this is a nice surprise. He thought since her mom was working, they agreed to do their own thing this year. Trina says, that was the plan, but then she realized this would be their first Thanksgiving since they found out he’s her father, and she didn’t want to miss that.

Olivia thanks Nina and asks her to join them. Wiley asks her to stay, but Nina glances at Michael and says she would love to, but she’s meeting his Grandpa Sonny at the MetroCourt. Olivia asks Brook and Chase to help her set up and tells Nina that she’s a life saver. Somehow, Michael and Nina end up alone, and he says, this isn’t the deal they made, but she says she didn’t plan for this. She can’t control fate at the Quartermaines. He says, she’d better figure out how to control it, and walks out. What a jerk.

Ava thanks Josslyn for everything she did to help Dex and Dante find her, and Josslyn says, they’re just glad Ava’s okay. Ava says she’s putting it behind her. And she’s so glad that’s what Trina’s finally done with Spencer. Josslyn says she’s happy they made up, and Ava thanks Carly for making room for one more. Carly says, of course (🍷), and Drew says, Carly told him that Ava is selling Windymere. Carly asks how it’s going, and Ava says, Lucy’s got a serious buyer, but she has no idea who it is. Drew says, let’s hope it’s some benevolent billionaire and not somebody who’s going to bring bad karma to Port Charles, and Ava says, too late for that. Windymere’s got nothing but bad karma. She’ll just be glad to forget all the bad memories.

Portia hugs Trina, and says she thought Trina was studying all day. Trina says she thought Portia was working, and Portia says, it was so slow at the hospital, she decided to just go ahead and… She sees Spencer come in with flowers in a vase and says she could have sworn Trina told her that she and Spencer were on the outs. Trina says, it was just a misunderstanding. They worked it out. Spencer wishes Portia a happy Thanksgiving, and she thanks him. Curtis says, look at this. He thought they weren’t going to have anyone for Thanksgiving, and now they have a houseful.

Emma asks how long Robert and Diane have been dating, and Robert chokes on his drink. Emma says, if she can handle grandma’s entanglement, she can handle his, and Diane laughs. Robert says, to answer her question, they’ve been dating a month. Standing to the side, Sonny says, it’s nice to see Emma in town, and Anna says, much needed relief. Just what the doctor ordered. He says, that bad? and she asks if he’s talked to Dante. He says, no, should he have? and she says she just wondered if Dante mentioned a certain dead man who showed up here. She’s been doing these deep dives in her past and found something that could conceivably tie in to the shooting at the pool, but the supporting evidence all disappeared in the chaos on Halloween night. And the man this information pertains to turned up dead here in Port Charles. What are the odds? Sonny says, looks like someone stacked the deck.

Anna says, even with all the setbacks, she feels like she’s inching toward the truth, and Sonny says, whoever’s behind this isn’t messing around. Again, if she needs protection, he’s here… She says, that was really all about Charlotte, and he says, and Valentin. She says, lesson learned. She won’t be fooled by him again. Nina comes back, and Sonny says, finally. He heard she had a crisis or something. She says she just got back from the Quartermaines. Lois’s mother set off the sprinklers in the kitchen. He says, Gloria? and she says, yeah. She tells Anna, hello, and Anna says, Nina. She tells them that she has to get back to her family, and leaves. Sonny looks at Nina.

Lois asks to talk to Gloria in the foyer, and asks, what is the problem? Gloria says, that broad, her husband is kind of a big shot. They call him Uncle Pete. Lois says, Pete Petrov? and Gloria says, yeah. His wife’s name is Petra. A lot of Ps. Yuri listens in, and Lois says, Uncle Pete Petrov is in deep with the Brighton mafia. They’re as crooked as they get. Gloria’s got to apologize and fast. Gloria says, it’s too late. They’re after her ziti. That’s why she didn’t go to Canarsie. They’re hiding ziti for her. Lois says, please tell her that they’re just trying to be intimidating, when Yuri steps out. He says, they have a problem with Russians? He’ll help.

Marshall says he’s so thrilled. This has turned into one perfect Thanksgiving. Portia says, and everyone under the same roof, but Marshall says, almost everyone. Stella is still galivanting around London. She’s taken a real shine to her new cousin Wanda. Trina toasts, to new family connections, and Marshall says he’s really happy they’re all here. And lucky them, he’s got a vat of turkey gumbo ready to go. Curtis says, Marshall always makes enough for a small army, and Trina says, if they run out, they have all that dessert Spencer insisted on bringing. Spencer says, it’s always good to have options, and Marshall says, the Lord always provides, but we just never know what that’s going to look like.

Carly says, dinner is served, and everyone dashes for the table. Drew says he just wanted to steal a moment and tell her that he’s so grateful to be spending Thanksgiving with her. She says, it’s so normal, isn’t it? She can’t believe it after everything they went through. She almost lost him. He kisses her and says, let’s stay right here and forget about the past. She says, it’s just so fragile. They take love for granted and she doesn’t know why, since they can’t guarantee it’s always going to be there. He says, that’s why they have to savor moments like this. They have to be grateful because there’s no guarantee there’s going to be anything like it in the future. Ava comes in and overhears, and Drew kisses Carly.

Sonny says, something seems off between Nina and Anna. What’s going on? She says, it’s nothing. It’s a Valentin and Charlotte thing. Anna knows how close she is with Charlotte. Can they just forget about that for right now? They’re finally in the same room and this is their first Thanksgiving as husband and wife. They hug, and she asks if he misses the girls, but he says, no. They’re having a great time. Plus, his life is full of blessings. He and Nina are married. Cyrus is exposed and in his sights. Drew’s out of prison. Michael is in their lives again, and basically, their family is together. But does she know what makes him happy? It’s that she and Willow are getting along. She says, they have so much to be grateful for.

Gloria tells Yuri, no offense, but they don’t need any Russian translation, and Lois says, she’s right. These are dangerous people and a nice boy like him doesn’t want to get involved with Uncle Pete. He says he knows he looks like nice boy, but he’s not always nice. He can handle these people. Brook says, come on in, guys. Let’s get Thanksgiving started.

Olivia says, Cody is bringing Sasha and Leo up from the stables, and Ned says, that’s just the time they need. Everyone here knows the drill. Wiley? Wiley says, first we sing… and everyone says, then we eat. Ned plays his guitar as they sing, We Gather Together.

Marshall says, since Stella isn’t here, he’ll lead the prayer, but Curtis says he’d like to do it this year. Marshall says, go ahead, and Curtis asks them to join hands. Dear God… I’m covering for Aunt Stella. Usually, I talk to You in private, so if I lose my way, take the wheel. There have been a lot of ups and downs this year for a lot of us, and for those of us going through it, we’re reminded that there is a Higher Power that keeps tabs and guides us to our next step. And so we’re gathered here with good people and a table full of good food and we’re reminded just how blessed we are. Perhaps more than most. So God, we ask that You keep a watchful eye out for those less fortunate than us, because life does throw us curveballs. So we’re going to hit those curveballs out of the park, learn a lesson or two, and still find a reason to crack a smile at the end of the day.

We see everyone at their Thanksgiving tables, and Curtis says, Aunt Stella would probably say something poetic about butterflies or rebirth, but God, I’m going to keep it simple. As we prepare to enjoy this meal, we thank You for being better to us than we are to ourselves. We thank You for yesterday, today, and the promise of tomorrow. And God, I know You’re listening. This goes out to You. Amen.

Scout and Donna jump on Drew and Carly, and Avery gets into Ava’s lap. Josslyn and Dex gaze at each other. On the terrace, Curtis looks up at the sky, and Portia puts her hands on his shoulders from behind. Trina and Spencer see them and kiss. Marshall comes out, and they go back to the table for pie.

In Loving Memory of Tyler Christopher.

Tomorrow, TJ says, Molly told someone yes without asking him; Finn asks Elizabeth, what’s that supposed to accomplish; Alexis asks Laura if this is a social meeting or about business; and Dante says, Sonny could save them a lot of effort if he’d tell them who he suspects.

Below Deck Mediterranean

When we left last week, Kyle was getting reamed out by Captain Sandy, who told him that he was the common denominator in all the toxic situations on the boat. She says, he wants to be chief stew, but he won’t be because he can’t control his emotions. If he doesn’t change, she’ll put him on the dock in a heartbeat. She’s not putting up with his bullying, screaming, and lack of respect for people in the workplace. If one crew member comes to her about him, he’s off the boat. Luka wonders, WTF is going on? and tells Haleigh that Max is leaving because he needs to follow his heart. Haleigh says, the vibe is off today, and Luka says, it’s crazy how much things can change in a day. Kyle tells Tumi that he’s resigning. He’s never seen the captain so angry. He tells her about the captain saying he’s the common denominator, and she says she can understand why he’s upset. People got angry, but it was resolved. She tells him not to let it affect him. She wanted them to end together. In Tumi’s interview, she says she’s starting to see how Kyle is the common denominator. You can’t always be the victim. She can’t force him to focus on work, but they’re screwed if he doesn’t. Lara asks Max not to leave, and he promises not to let her down. She asks if he’s spoken to Captain Sandy, and he says he’s scared to. In Lara’s interview, she says she and Max got off to a rocky start, but slowly and surely, he’s growing on her. She wonders if she needs to take him in like a little dog and nurture him. She doesn’t know what to do. She doesn’t want him to leave. The captain talks to Norma on the phone, and says, great. She calls Luka, Tumi, and Jack for a preference sheet meeting.  

The captain says, it’s going to be a short cruise, and in Luka’s interview, he says, with a short cruise, everything is amplified, and they have to be perfect. Captain Sandy says, the primary is Tonia, who is the founder and editor of P.O.W.E.R. magazine. She’s bringing some likeminded women to celebrate her birthday and celebrate women’s empowerment. Jack reads that they want some healthy salads, and the primary doesn’t eat eggs outdoors. In his interview, he says, that’s next level weird, and wonders how they found that out. Tumi says, they want an all-white party, and Luka reads that they want to explore Portofino. The captain says, it’s a tight dock and she has to back in. It’s going to be a challenge. They’re going to talk her through a ton of little boats and make sure she doesn’t hit anything. She tells Tumi that she’ll be getting a new stew tomorrow, and in Jack’s interview, he says, Kyle is a f***ing rat. He’d cause drama in an empty room with a mop bucket. Luka thinks more people should quit. The tip will be massive.

Max tells Captain Sandy that, even though it’s a super crew, he might want to leave. Shocked, she tells him that they only have two and a half more weeks, and he’ll leave them shorthanded for the rest of the season. He says he’ll think about it, and she says she doesn’t want to lose him; he’s an asset to the boat. She’ll even let him drive when they anchor. In Max’s interview, he says, so much ugliness is affecting him. He’s not getting his Eiffel Tower, and the body is the master. If he receives the call for one more charter, he’s not wasting his time and energy in a bad environment. The captain promises it will be a good charter. Jessika says she’s afraid of who’s coming next, when Tumi is called to the bridge. Captain Sandy shows her the CV of the new stew, who’s only worked on small boats. In the captain’s interview, she says, at this point, it’s not easy to find someone. Tumi has to be clear on her direction. A few boats is better than no boats, and she doesn’t have much choice. New stew Lily arrives, and in his interview, Max says his Eiffel Tower is back, and sings I love you. In Lily’s interview, she says she’s a quick learner. She grew up in Windsor and worked key events like the Royal Ascot and Wimbledon. Her last boat was catamaran, and she’s never worked on a boat this big. She’s sh*tting herself. Max tells Luka about the new stew. He can’t remember her name, but her eyes are blue. Kyle obsesses over what the captain said, and in his interview, he says, this is killing him, all that’s happening and has happened. He needs to fix this. He doesn’t want Captain Sandy to have this perception of him. Jack tells Lara that she’s got a good vibe. In Jack’s interview, he says, Kyle won’t look him in the eyes. He’s the one who got rid of Natalya who only gave him positive vibes. Kyle goes to the captain and says he’s truly apologetic for what he’s done and the way he allowed himself to react. He let his emotions get the best of him. We flash back to him trying to make nice with Natalya, and Captain Sandy says she appreciates someone who admits they’re wrong and wants to change. Sometimes it means you have to remove yourself from the situation. In Captain Sandy’s interview, she says, what Kyle did was not okay, but she’s giving him the opportunity to change what he needs to.

The guests arrive, and Captain Sandy says, we got this, adding that the guests are going to tease the boys. She gives the guests the usual spiel and the usual tour happens. The guests toast, to power women, and guest Marcie asks for her underwear to be ironed. The pilot comes on board for the check-out, and they depart. The captain tells the crew, nice work. Stay this sharp in Portofino. Kyle shows Lily the laundry, and in her interview, she says, she’s had to be a fast learner her whole life. She’s a rare breed of sushi. Kyle tells Tumi that it’s Lily’s first-time steaming, and she doesn’t know how.

Kyle is still getting silence from Jack, and in Kyle’s interview, he says, Jack blames him for being the sole person who pushed Natalya off the boat. Normally, silence is deafening, but Jack’s silence speaks a multitude of words. Tumi shows Lily the laundry system, and in Tumi’s interview, she says, it’s tough doing training while on service, especially on a busy boat. She needs Lily to succeed ASAP. She misses Natalya. Not for her mouth, but for her skills. Captain Sandy shows Max how to turn the boat, and in Max’s interview, he says, it’s like pressing a button and moving all the cosmos. He has goosebumps all over his body. We see his Eiffel Tower meter is on 7. The water toys are put out, but the guests don’t seem too interested, and just want to chill. In Lara’s interview, she says, usually the guests can’t wait to swim. They’re a 55-meter yacht water taxi. In the captain’s interview, she says, a big part of Luka’s job is selling the toys to the guests. That’s why they buy this stuff. He needs a gentle reminder to be that energy. Captain Sandy tells the guests how fun it is and plays it up. Luka tells Max, show the ladies how it’s done, and Max goes down the slide. Jack accidentally sprays himself with the dishwasher nozzle, and I can identify. In Luka’s interview, he says, the guests are happy, smiling, and enjoying themselves. Captain Sandy motivated him, and it was exactly what they needed. Lily talks with Max, and in her interview, she says she’s never been anywhere longer than 6 months. She’s lived in America 4 months out of the year since she was young. She demonstrates an impressive American accent for us.

Portofino. In her interview, Captain Sandy says, docking in Portofino is difficult. It’s narrow and she has to spin around on a dime, then back down a narrow area to get to a piece of dock this big. She holds her fingers like two inches apart, and says, boats are coming out, oblivious to them. Every ounce of her trust is in her deck team. That’s the only way she can pull this off. In Luka’s interview, he says, there are million-dollar boats everywhere and they have only inches on each side.

Since there are no ground lines, they have to do this thing where they drop two anchors, while a hundred people watch and take pictures. In the captain’s interview, she says, they’ve never done this before, and they killed it. Everyone deserves an ice cream. That was some scary sh*t. She takes the crew to shore for ice cream, and in Max’s interview, he says, he wanted to leave, but he sees that people like him. It’s like a family here. Lily came and brought her energy. He has a new goal. We see his Eiffel Tower meter is now at 9. So apparently all he needed was a new woman? The guests wander around Portofino, and Marcie says she’s living her best life. Back on the boat, Captain Sandy wonders about her underwear. No one is in the laundry, and she radios Kyle, telling him to make sure her underwear and socks get back to her cabin. Don’t lose her laundry. In Jack’s interview, he says, Kyle made them lose their goddess of f***ing laundry. There are lots of bleeps from Lily, and in Kyle’s interview, he says he doesn’t know what shade of green she is. Lily apologizes to the captain, and the guests get back to the boat. Jack is still giving Kyle the silent treatment, and in his interview, Kyle says he feels like he’s in high school, and wonders what’s being said behind his back. It’s time for the all-white party, and the guests get dressed. Jack says he’s tried to put as much white in the menu as possible. Jessika and Lily do the cabins, and in Tumi’s interview, she says, with Lily’s lack of experience, she can’t do anything on her own, and it takes Jessika away from her. She needs to find out what Lily does well and focus on that. Tonia tells Tumi that they need to turn it up, and the guests ask for the guys to strip. Tumi tells the deckhands that she needs a little Chippendales, and Luka tries to run. Max tells Luka that it’s a guest request. He was a deckhand when he came on the boat, and now he’s a stripper. Jack pretty much volunteers and I yell, put it on!

The guys dance around with feather boas, and in Jack’s interview, he says if he takes his clothes off, it might hurt the tip. Agreed. There’s a lot of dancing around, and the guys disrobe somewhat. In Jessika’s interview, she says, Luka is a very attractive man. After everyone goes to bed, Jessika gets in Luka’s bunk. Max walks in and says, no way. In Luka’s interview, he says he thinks Jessika is easy going like him. She’s not in an open relationship, so that’s a good sign. He just wants to cuddle. After a while, Jessika slips back out. In Max’s interview, he says his Eiffel tower is back, and imitates a snake charmer. Tonia explains that she can’t taste eggs out in the air; it gives them a foul taste. Wouldn’t that be a fowl taste? BA-DUM-CHH! In Tumi’s interview, she says, that’s prima donna stuff. On her last boat, a guest asked for raspberries every night, and they were everywhere… and coconut oil. It’s time to take the boat back out, and in Haleigh’s interview, she says, it’s like Frogger. She tells Luka, these people are ruthless, and in Captain Sandy’s interview, she says, it’s like NYC taxis. It can be a huge distraction, but all she sees is navigation. In Lily’s interview, she says, in her old boat, they didn’t even have a laundry room, and in Kyle’s interview, he says, he assumed laundry was a safe spot. He wonders if it’s basically luggage compartment at this point.

They dock, and Max is all happy now. They get ready to say goodbye to the guests, and Tonia says, the whole team was incredible. It was a beautiful day with beautiful people. She gives the captain the tip envelope, and the guests leave. Captain Sandy tells the crew, well done. They assemble for the tip meeting, and Kyle says, it wasn’t much work. Jack tells him to speak for himself, and in Jack’s interview, he says, it’s going to go off tonight. He can feel it in the air. The captain praises the deck team’s docking skills, and says, the tip is $18K, or 1252 euros per person. She tells them, don’t spend it all in one place, and the crew heads for shore. In the taxi, Kyle says he’s putting $100 on Lily getting wasted tonight. At the table, Jack tries to flirt with Lily and gripes about how Natalya had to deal with negative stuff. Lily asks Kyle, what happened? and Kyle says he has to take a wee. He leaves, and in his interview, he says, he knows the game Jack is playing. He’s influencing Lily. He can see it and hear it. Nothing is going to bring Jack’s princess back, and now he’s opened a book of worms.

This season, a big gay breakfast; underwater statues; Jessika likes Luka more than she should; Katie Flood (isn’t she from that horrific Winter House?) texts Luka; Tumi says, Lily isn’t getting it; Captain Sandy tells Lily that she’s got one more chance or she may have to make a change; Tumi tells Kyle that he’s overstepping boundaries; and Natalya aka Jack’s princes surprises everyone by showing up at the bar, but surprises no one by causing trouble.

🌚 Harvest Mooning…

Hoping you enjoyed a long weekend, whether you gathered together or not. Stop in tomorrow for a helping of soap and a pot of tea. Until then, stay safe, stay giving yourself a break if you overdid it, and stay hitting those curveballs out of the park, learning a lesson or two, and still finding a reason to crack a smile at the end of the day.