What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

General Hospital

Gregory meets Alexis at the PC Grill and apologizes for being late. He couldn’t get a Ride Share, and skateboarding was out of the question. She sees him struggling, and he says, don’t worry. He’ll last through the holidays.

TJ finds Stella in the breakroom, and he asks if that’s what he thinks it is. Chicken and dumplings? She says, it is. Has he had his dinner yet? He says he did, but does she mind if he joins her anyway? She tells him, sit down. Is something on his mind?

Kristina meets Sonny and Donna at the MetroCourt, and Donna asks, what took her so long? Kristina says, parking, and tells Donna that she looks very cute. She kisses Sonny on the cheek, and he says he’s glad she made it. She says she’s glad she got invited. Are they celebrating something special? Donna says, yes. Me. Sonny says, she got a great report card. The teacher in the last quarter said she was talking too much to the other kids… Kristina says, motormouth syndrome. She remembers it well. She used to get all these remarks on her report card. How did Donna turn it around and manage to score a fancy dinner? Donna says she talked less.

At her penthouse, Ava tells Carly that Avery is all settled in and sleeping. She appreciates Carly picking her up from dance class. She’s been so busy with this move. Carly says she had to drop Donna off at Sonny’s for dinner, so it wasn’t a problem to grab Avery. She’s glad they stopped by Kelly’s; she was really hungry, and tired. Ava thanks her for the to-go burger, and says she’s glad Avery was able to get something to eat so Avery could just pass out when she got home… here. She anticipated Avery would have some adjustments to make, but so far, Avery’s been a real trooper. Carly says, she’s moved around a lot. What about Ava? Ava says, moving is so stressful, even under the best of circumstances, and Carly says, but she’s worried about something, and it has nothing to do with moving.

Amy puts out the bin for the hospital toy drive and tells Elizabeth that it really feels like Christmas when they put out the bin. Elizabeth says, that’s the thing about Christmas, people are extra generous and kind.

Portia tells Finn that his recommended treatment plan is spot on, and he thanks her. She says, he knows this is just a formality for the lawyers. He’s a brilliant physician. He doesn’t need any supervision. He thanks her for the vote of confidence, and she says, before he gets all mushy on her, Monica wants to see him in her office.

On the phone, Monica says she can’t tell them how good it is to be home. She’s spending the holidays with her family. And speaking of holidays, she’s wishing them and theirs a wonderful one. She’ll be seeing them. Bye. Tracy comes in and asks if she’s ready for this, but Monica says she’s not sure.

Diane tells Trish that she’s meeting Robert Scorpio, and Trish says, he’s waiting for her. She leads Diane to the table, and Robert tells Diane that she looks great. She says, he cleans up well himself, and he says he’s happy they’re doing this. She says, that makes two of them. She’s especially looking forward to dessert.

Kristina asks, where’s Nina? and Sonny says he promised Donna some one-on-one time. She asked if Kristina could come, so how could he resist? Kristina says, way to go. Thanks to Donna, she scores a free meal at the MetroCourt. They high-five, and Kristina says, not that she needs any excuse. She always loves hanging out with her little sister. Donna says she knows, and Sonny asks why Donna has that look. She says she’s tired of being the little sister. When are he and Nina going to have a baby?

Ava tells Carly, there’s so much going on. Moving out of Windymere, moving into this place, getting organized again. She has a major gallery opening after the first of the year, and of course (🍷) the artist hasn’t delivered all the pieces yet. Carly says, the life of a busy single mom, and Ava says, Carly knows all about that. Carly says she does. She also knows Ava will find a way and make it through. Ava says, she’s right, and Carly says, Ava’s just been rambling on about all the things she’s handling, but she never once mentioned that her boyfriend was murdered.

Alexis looks at Gregory’s phone and says she can’t believe that’s the same sad little tree Violet picked out at Rice Plaza. He says, she took their words to heart, and she says, his words; perfection is the enemy of good. He says, but Alexis clarified it that Violet should look for something special and unique, so she picked out the saddest looking tree on the lot. They took it home and gave it some love, and it’s beautiful. She says, it’s transformed. Everybody looks so happy, even the tree. He says, the whole family pitched in, and she says, even Finn? She finds it hard to believe he’d be the beacon of Christmas cheer. Gregory says, he is when he’s around Violet. He wasn’t exactly ho-ho-ho, but he was radiating joy, and then Violet sang a song she wrote, and Chase accompanied her on the guitar. She says, that sounds incredible, and he says, there’s even more. He’s got big news. Chase and Brook are getting married. She says, he buried the lead. Congratulations. He says he was so worried that Chase would never forgive him about not telling him about his diagnosis, or that Chase would be so devastated, he couldn’t be around him, but look at them now, the literal picture of family unity. She says she’s really happy for him, and he says he loves them all so much. Finn has Violet, and he and Elizabeth are finding their way back to each other. Chase has his true love Brook by his side. he couldn’t wish for more.

TJ says he just came from the OR and grabbed something before he went in, and Stella asks if he’s sure he’s not hungry. He says, she didn’t have to, and she says she can take it back home, but he says, no, taking the dish from her. She says she knows this used to be his favorite. He says, it still is. Don’t tell Molly. He’s fine with veganism, but this is his definition of comfort food. Nobody makes chicken and dumplings like her. She says, actually, Irene made them better than she does. It was their grandma’s recipe and they promised to guard it with their lives. Irene was always a better cook. He asks if she ever regretted moving in with her sister to support her.

Finn asks if they need anything, but Elizabeth says, they’re almost done, and Amy thanks him. Amy goes over to Portia and asks if there have been any updates in Dr. Finn’s malpractice suit. Is there any chance they’d settle and not go to trial? Portia says, this is something the lawyers should be figuring out. They shouldn’t even be discussing this. And it certainly shouldn’t be the topic of any hospital gossip. Just exercise a little discretion. Understood? Amy nods, and Portia thanks her and leaves.

Finn says, Monica wants to see him, and Elizabeth says, maybe that’s a good thing. Maybe she’s lifting the requirement that he needs his treatment plans signed off on. He says, maybe the hospital’s decided to revoke his privileges altogether. Wish him luck. He gets in the elevator.

Finn goes to Monica’s office and says, her assistant said she was expecting him. She tells him, have a seat, and he says he wasn’t expecting to see Tracy here. Tracy says she’s here representing the hospital board. They want a recommendation regarding the lawsuit. Whether to go through a trial, hoping to disprove the Muldoon’s claim of negligence, or whether they should make a separate settlement. Monica says, which would make Finn the sole defendant.

Stella tells TJ, what a question. What brought that on? He says he’d like to hear the answer to the question first, and she says, all right, but it’s not the first time this question has been brought up, and the answer is still, never. She never regretted moving in with her sister and the boys. Don’t get her wrong, she dabbled in the fantasies of what if, but they were just fantasies and can’t compare the life she’s lived, and the life she’s proud of. She and his grandmother Irene shared a deep bond. There was no question she’d step in and help out. She’s proud to have helped raised Thomas and Curtis. They’re her nephews, but she loves them like her own. Just like she’ll always love him and always be his biggest fan. She’ll do whatever she can for him, including sneaking him some chicken and dumplings. He thanks her, and they laugh. She says, that’s the privilege of being an auntie, one of many, and he wonders if Kristina will feel that way.

Robert says, they can swing by Rice Plaza and try and get the tree Diane has been trying to get for so long, and she laughs. She says, touché. No need. She’s already got her tree up. He says he’s impressed, and she says, don’t be. Full disclosure. She actually ordered one from a florist. Did he know they’ll decorate your tree for you? He asks what they’ll think of next. However, he gives her full points for selecting her own. She thanks him and says she does appreciate him coming with her. It’s a shame they had to abort the mission because of Gregory Chase’s attitude. He asks how the malpractice suit is going.

Kristina asks if Sonny and Nina are thinking of having a baby, barely containing her laughter, and he says, that’s not in the cards for a lot of reasons. He’s very satisfied with the kids he has. So is Nina. So Donna is his forever young child, but she’s not a baby. Being a young child means she’s special. Kristina was the youngest for a while. Kristina says, the youngest, the middle, and being the youngest was definitely the best. She asks how things are with Nina, and Sonny says, they’re settling in, and Nina and Willow are doing good. Kristina asks, what about him and Michael? and he says, they’re doing better, but Nina and Michael are not that great. Kristina says, sorry. He’ll probably warm up. Any issues that are going on is probably protectiveness and loyalty. Sonny shrugs, and Kristina tells Donna that she can’t decide. Donna is going to have to pick for her. She trusts Donna. Donna says, sure, and Kristina hands Donna the menu. Hope she likes hot fudge sundaes for dinner.

Ava tells Carly, of course (🍷) she’s affected by Austin’s death. He was murdered, and so violently. She prays the killer is soon caught and behind bars. She guesses she doesn’t talk about it because it’s so upsetting, and it’s complicated. Yes, they were seeing each other, but it was sort of transitional. She doesn’t mean to sound callous, but she really doesn’t know what to make about how she feels now or how she feels about Austin. Carly asks if the police questioned her, and Ava asks, why would they? She didn’t kill him. Carly says, Ava and Austin were involved. Ava was kidnapped by Austin’s cousin. She knows how the police think. It would make sense that they’d ask her about his involvement with his cousin, right? They’d ask her about Austin’s mental state, if he had any enemies, if he was receiving any threats. Ava knows this is standard police procedure. Ava says she doesn’t want to get into that with Carly, and Carly asks, why? Does she have something to hide?

Donna asks if she can see how they make their desserts. Kristina said they use a flame torch. Sonny tells Trish that his daughter got a great report card, and he promised her a great dinner, but she just wants to talk about dessert. Can Trish take her in the kitchen and show her how to make crème brûlée? Trish says she’d love to, and tells Donna, congratulations. Does she want to sample something sweet before dinner? Donna says, yes, please, and goes with Trish. Kristina says, he knows Donna just ruined her appetite, right? but Sonny says, she’ll be okay. How is Kristina doing? Kristina says, good. Busy. She’s assembled the board of directors and the by-laws for the center are done. The construction is set and knock on wood – she knocks on the table – everything’s set. She’s working hard on hiring new staff for the holiday rush at Charlie’s. He asks if she still plans on managing Charlie’s and she says, yeah. Of course (🍷). She loves working there. He says he knows, but he doesn’t want her doing so much that she doesn’t have time for herself. She says she has it handled, and he says, she seems to be talking an awful lot about work and not her personal life. How’s that going?

Gregory says, Alexis wasn’t in the office much today. He finished the article on building rezoning and wanted her feedback. He left her a message. She says she’s sorry. The afternoon got derailed. She has some big news too. He says, a late breaking story he doesn’t know about? and she says, nope. This is personal. She’s going to be a grandmother again.

Portia says she wants Elizabeth’s input on the final candidates for the Epiphany Johnson Scholarship. Maybe before the next meeting. Elizabeth says, Portia’s got it. She thinks it was really great of Sonny to establish that fund in Epiphany’s name. Portia says, and he just underwrote all the Christmas activities for the hospital. The gifts, food, decorations, everything. That man can really surprise you. Elizabeth says, he’s always been really generous with the hospital, and Portia says, now on a not so happy note, can Elizabeth let her know if she hears any gossip around the hospital regarding Finn’s malpractice lawsuit? Amy Driscoll just approached her about news of his suit. Elizabeth says she’ll definitely have a chat with Amy herself. Would Portia mind if she asks why Monica wants to see him? Portia says she honestly doesn’t know, but what she can say is, from her experience Monica is one of the fairest, most impartial administrators she’s ever worked with. And they know Finn is one of the most gifted doctors there is. She thinks they can really hope for the best on this one. She leaves, and Amy approaches Elizabeth. Elizabeth asks why she talked to Dr. Robinson about Dr. Finn, and Amy says she could really use Elizabeth’s advice about that. She was one of the nurses who assisted with Mr. Muldoon’s treatment. She’s supposed to give a deposition, but she doesn’t know what to say or do. Elizabeth says, she has to tell the truth.

Finn says, all he can tell them is that he wasn’t negligent. He’s gone over his notes and examined Mr. Muldoon’s case from every possible angle. He knows he did nothing wrong. Unfortunately, when Mr. Muldoon came to see him, he already had late-stage cancer. It had developed over many years, silently, without any noticeable symptoms. His cancer was also being masked by the presence of a tapeworm, which Finn found and treated with praziquantel. He asked Mr. Muldoon several times to come in and see him for a follow-up, but he was very busy, and it was almost two months before he came back. At which time he ran further blood tests, and more importantly, a colonoscopy, which revealed Mr. Muldoon’s colon cancer. Monica should do what she needs to do. He understands, but he stands by his treatment, whether or not GH stands by him.

Sonny says, Kristina is working at the bar and getting the youth center up and running; that’s two full-time jobs. He wants her to have time to have some fun. She flashes back to kissing Blaze, and says she intends to, but right now she has to focus on other priorities. Fun will come later. He asks, how much later? What doesn’t he know? She says she’s going to be Molly and TJ’s surrogate.

Robert asks if Diane really believes Finn was negligent, and she says, he’s also an attorney, so he knows full well it doesn’t matter what she believes. It matters what she can prove, and she fully intends to prove that if Hamilton Finn had more carefully screened Muldoon, more thoroughly tested him, that Mr. Muldoon’s cancer would have been detected. Hamilton didn’t, it wasn’t, and Mr. Muldoon died as a result… Agree? Disagree? Hello? Robert says, sorry. He wasn’t listening. In fact, he wasn’t thinking about the case at all. He was thinking about her.

Ava says, she and Carly have managed to co-exist and maintain a level of civility for Avery’s sake and she’s grateful for that. But that doesn’t mean she answers to Carly, or that she owes Carly explanations for anything. Carly says, what happens to Ava affects Avery, and she loves that little girl. She’s helped raise her and stepped in for Ava when her life has gotten too dangerous or took her elsewhere. Ava says, Carly doesn’t have to remind her, and Carly says she’s not trying to judge Ava. She’s just thinking about Avery. If Avery were separated from Ava for any reason, it would kill her because she loves Ava. So if Ava had anything to do with Austin’s death, Ava doesn’t have to tell her, but she needs to tell Sonny.

Elizabeth asks Finn, how’d it go? and he says, they won’t be lifting the restrictions on his treatment plans any time soon. Other than that, he has no idea.

TJ says, as Stella knows, their surrogate miscarried their embryo. She’s opted not to try again, and it hit Molly pretty hard. Stella says she’s sorry to have heard that, but there’s still hope, and he says, yes, there is. Because Molly’s sister Kristina offered to be their surrogate. Stella says, what a profound gift Kristina has given Molly, and him, and he says, they’re both very grateful. She says, good… but something’s worrying him. What is it? He says, as a doctor, he’s aware of all the possible risks and health challenges, but what worries him isn’t medical. It’s having to count on Kristina.

Gregory tells Alexis, congratulations. Are Sam and Dante… She says, no. Actually, there isn’t a grandchild yet. He knows Molly and TJ are trying to have a baby via surrogate, right? He says, she mentioned it to him and that the surrogate miscarried, and she says, so Kristina has offered to be the surrogate and Molly has accepted. He says, that’s amazing. Why does she look less than thrilled? She says, because she has mixed feelings about it. She’s of course (🍷) saying this to him in confidence, right? and he says, of course (🍷). She says, because she really has to be able to talk to somebody outside the family. She told him that Molly and Kristina have been bumping up against each other for a while, right? That’s because Kristina wanted to be Molly’s surrogate in the past, but Molly was reluctant about that, and it caused a rift. Just as they were beginning to repair the relationship, the surrogate had a miscarriage. He says, so now Kristina is suddenly option number one, and she says, don’t get her wrong. She’s proud of Kristina for wanting to do something so selfless and loving for her sister, but she can’t help wondering if the two of them are going into this with their eyes wide open or they’re just riding the waves of emotion, not being able to foresee that those waves eventually come crashing down.

Finn tells Elizabeth, the hospital is considering making a separate settlement with the Muldoons. If they decide to do that now, he’ll be going to trial on his own. The fact that the hospital settled would imply they thought there was negligence. Elizabeth says, they can’t do that to him, when Tracy comes out of the elevator. She asks if she and Finn can speak privately, and he walks down the hall with her. Tracy sees Elizabeth glaring at her, and says, oof. Finn says, she’s just voicing her concern and disappointment. He shares both. Tracy says, he knows she considers him a dear friend, but she’s not here as his friend; she’s here as a member of the hospital board.

Monica thanks attorney Clark for coming in on such short notice, and Clark says she assumes this is regarding the proposed separate settlement with the Muldoons. Monica says, the hospital needs to clarify its position on the Hamilton Finn malpractice case.

TJ tells Stella that Kristina has her own way of looking at life and that’s fine, but she’s been impulsive as long as he’s known her. She starts off with the best of intentions, but she doesn’t always follow through. Stella says, so he’s worried she’ll flake out on them with something as sensitive and important as this? She can’t really see that happening. Can he? He says, not intentionally, but his fear is, once Kristina confronts the reality of what surrogacy entails – the hormone treatments, the constant monitoring, the doctor’s appointments – it may be more than what she bargained for. Sometimes it takes two or three tries before an embryo takes. Miscarriage is a significant reality. What if it’s too much? If she changes her mind, he can see her backing out, and that would break Molly’s heart. And his too. Stella takes his hand.

Sonny says he thought Molly and Kristina had some issues recently, and Kristina says, they worked them out. He asks what Alexis thinks about that, and Kristina says, Alexis is her mom. She’s cautiously optimistic, but in the end, everything is going to be fine. And Alexis is going to get another grandchild to love, so she’s going to be over the moon about it. He says, so that’s it? She’s going to put her social life on hold for the next nine months? What does her singer friend think about that? Kristina says, Blaze? and he tells her that he’s just saying. In Puerto Rico, it felt like there was something between them. She says, they’re just getting to know each other. Why? What does he think he noticed? He says he just noticed Kristina lit up when she saw Blaze, and he hasn’t seen her light up like that since Parker. She says, maybe she was just really well lit, and he says he doesn’t want to pry, but if the situation changes, he just wants her to know that he would be happy for her. She thanks him and takes his hand.

Robert signs for the check and tells Diane that he has no doubt she’ll make a strong case. She’s a terror in the courtroom. When he’s not facing off against her, he can’t think of better company. She says, he really knows how to turn a girl’s head. Let her return the compliment. He’s an almost baffling combination of infuriating and irresistible. He says, you sweet talker, you. Did she get a Ride Share? She says, no, she drove, and he says, too bad. He can’t drive her home. She says, no need. He can meet her there… and spend the night.

Alexis says, there’s no need to call a Ride Share. She’s happy to take Gregory home. He asks her not to go to any trouble, but she says, it’s no trouble at all. Besides, he just listened to her vent about her daughters, which she really appreciates, since it’s certainly not something she can share with them. A, she doesn’t want to diminish their optimism, and B, it’s none of her business. They’re committed to this and don’t need their mother mucking it up. He says, she raised capable young women. The risk is theirs to take, and whatever consequences may arise, she’ll be there for them. Let’s just hope the benefits far outweigh the risks. She thanks him for his sage perspective, and he says he’s sagier than ever these days. It’s all about family and connection for him now. That’s what’s keeping him going despite his prognosis. Finn, Chase, Violet, seeing them happy, knowing they’re okay, that’s all that matters. That’s all she wants for her daughters, to know they’ll be okay, and the families will stay connected. She says she wants so much for Molly to have this baby that she wants so much, and she really is grateful that hopefully, Kristina can make that happen.

Stella tells TJ, from what she observed with Kristina and Molly, they have a bond much like she and Irene did. Of course (🍷) they squabble a bit more than she and Irene did, but that’s because of their closeness; they know what buttons to push. He says, the difference is, Molly is like her. The strong one, the rational one. She can tough things out. Stella says, there’s all kinds of strengths. It takes guts to throw caution to the wind and lead with your heart. It’s true Irene leaned on her, but she leaned on Irene too, for advice, support, humor, and consolation. She and his grandmother were sisters. They were a team, and they knew each other better than anybody else. They knew what their successes and happy times meant to each other, just like they knew the heartbreak of their fears and tragedies. Why does he think Kristina offered to be the surrogate, and why does he think Molly agreed? Trust the bond and trust Kristina to see it through. She clears the dishes and says, looks like he was hungry after all. He thanks her for dinner, and she says, absolutely. He says, but the thing he appreciates most is having her as his auntie. He loves her. They hug, and she says she loves him too. It’s going to be all right.

Ava comes out of the bedroom and tells Carly, sorry. Avery wanted a glass of water. Carly tells Ava that she’s said everything she needs to say. She’s going to go. Have a good night. Ava says, if she has a problem that she thinks Sonny can help her with, she’ll tell him, but that’s got to be her decision, not Carly’s. Carly says she has her own life and her own challenges, and she’s all about Ava doing Ava. But she’s not blind or doesn’t care. Ava asks what that’s supposed to mean, and Carly says she hasn’t seen Ava this defensive, or this tightly wound in a long time. She’s obviously in over her head, and if she needs someone to pull her out, Sonny’s the one to do it. And for Avery’s sake, she’d ask him sooner than later. She leaves, and Ava takes a locked box out of the credenza. She puts in a combination and opens it. She looks at the note and the gun, and wonders if Nikolas is back.

Trish brings Donna back and says, she was a very good girl. Donna thanks her, and Trish tells them to have a good evening. Kristina says, speaking of good girls, Santa’s coming soon. Has Donna been a good girl? Donna asks Sonny if she’s been good, and he says, let him think about that… She’s been the absolute best.

Diane unlocks her front door, and she and Robert kiss on the porch. She pushes open the door, and they continue kissing as they go inside. The door closes.

Tracy tells Finn that her recommendation to the board will be that General Hospital backs him. She and Monica agree there was no negligence and there will be no separate settlement. He thanks her and asks her to thank Monica. He’ll never forget this, but what was that whole thing at the meeting where she said she wasn’t his friend? That really scared him. She says she’s not here as his friend. She’s here in a strictly professional capacity. Her decision was based on the fact that he’s an excellent doctor, he’s an asset to this hospital, and they’re very lucky to have him.

Monica tells Clark that they’ve reviewed Dr. Finn’s actions and they’ve found he’s done nothing wrong. Clark says, they’re walking away from a separate settlement, and Monica says, that’s correct. Clark suggests they mount a defense that Dr. Finn was negligent, but acted without the hospital’s knowledge or approval, but Monica says, they concluded Dr. Finn did nothing wrong. So until Clark comes up with another step they can take, Monica thanks her for coming in. Clark gets up and says, as their legal counsel, she feels compelled to offer them some advice. Rethink your decision carefully. The Muldoons have deep pockets and they’re willing to fight. So ask herself, which is more important, backing Dr. Finn or securing the future of General Hospital? She walks out.

Tomorrow, Donna worries about her wish not coming true; Alexis says she and Jordan don’t get a vote on this; Brook says she won’t stop until Deception belongs to Maxie; and Laura asks Sonny if her brother is a murderer.

Southern Creeps Charm

When we left, Shep had alluded to Paige cheating on Craig, and said Craig’s relationship was bullsh*t. Craig gets a free pass because his relationship is long distance, while he’s been torn to pieces with Taylor.

Olivia tells Taylor that she doesn’t enjoy the headlines and stuff. If Taylor had been honest from the start, none of this would be happening. Taylor says she made a mistake and lied about in, and in Taylor’s interview, she says, people have wronged her and she’s forgiven them. Shep cheated on her and she forgave him. She wants a forgiving friend in her life, and if Olivia can’t be that, what are they doing? Olivia says, the level of betrayal is bizarre, and Taylor’s inability to recognize that is baffling. Then she used Austen to make Shep jealous. Taylor says she did a dig, and she’s owning up to it, and Olivia says she doesn’t know where Taylor’s head is at. Craig comes back, and at the bar, Austen says, the dinner turned to mayhem. Olivia says, if there had been headlines about her and Shep, she would have gone to Taylor. She hates that their friendship is broken more than she hates the relationship with Austen being broken. She doesn’t know how to be friends with Taylor anymore, and hates her for that. She hopes he was worth it. She walks out and into the bus. The rest get ready to go, and Shep says he’s sorry, and thank you everybody, like he’s accepting an award. Shep pops onto the bus where Olivia is with Venita and Madison, and says, all she has to do is say she’s sorry. Venita wonders what Olivia has to be sorry about, and Madison tells him to let her deal with it at her own pace. Shep says he told Taylor to apologize. Is Venita out of her mind? Venita assures him that she isn’t, and tells him not to talk to her like that. He says he’s trying to get Olivia and Taylor out of the muck and mire, and Venita says, get out. He wisely follows her direction and sees Craig. They hug, and in Craig’s interview, he says he forgives Shep. He knows Shep’s not mad at him. Shep just doesn’t know how to deal with anger. The islands are not a place for fighting. Olivia says she looks like the crazy girl who can’t drop it, and Madison says, look! The guys are hugging. Craig gets on the bus and asks Olivia how her talk with Taylor went. Olivia says, they just don’t see things the same way. In the other bus, Taylor says she’s not having that conversation again. She apologizes and Olivia says she hates her. She doesn’t want to be verbally abused. In Austen’s interview, he says he thought he as in a good spot with Olivia. We flash back to them talking in the park, and he says, so they have a blow-up and Olivia is upset. It’s disappointing. Taylor says, Olivia doesn’t even want to look at her, but Austen is off the hook. In Rod’s interview, he says, Olivia had a trauma in losing her brother, and he thinks Austen leveraged the situation. Shep says, a post mortem isn’t going to help anybody. On the Taylor bus, Madison imitates JT, while in the Olivia bus, Craig imitates Shep. He says, they made a mistake. We’re all good?

In the morning, JT has a beer in the bathtub, which makes my stomach turn. It’s less about having a beer in the morning, than JT having one in the tub. Austen calls Whitney and says he wants to download Whitney on last night. Whitney suggests they meet on the beach. Madison brings Venita coffee, and Venita says she was ready to fight Shep last night. Madison says, that was her favorite part. She thinks Austen’s therapy is working, and Venita says, he didn’t walk away, so that’s something. We flash back to Austen getting raked over the coals, and they text Olivia about going to the beach. Craig video chats with Paige and says he doesn’t know how Austen and Olivia aren’t exhausted. He tells her about Shep suggesting she cheated, and Paige says, and she went to his lame pheasant dinner. They yell about her when she’s not even around. In Craig’s interview, he says he knows it’s not true, but it’s easier for Shep to yell at him than deal with his own sh*t. He tells Paige that they’re going on a booze cruise later. At the beach, Whitney tells Austen to put on SPF 1000. Austen asks what he’s been doing, and Whitney says, working. Austen tells Whitney about Rod having a problem with him, and Whitney says, it’s a cheap gambit. Rod is trying to get Olivia’s attention. Austen says, JT thinks he’s on a holy crusade to defend Taylor’s honor. The bottom line is, he and Shep landed the girls.

JT and Taylor walk to the pool, and JT tells her that she didn’t say much. She was probably emotionally traumatized. Taylor says, she was being verbally abused, and JT says he felt terrible. He cares about her and he’ll keep defending her. In Taylor’s interview, she says, part of her wishes she had feelings for JT, but girls want bad boys. Boys want girls who aren’t into them, and girls want boys who treat them like sh*t. (Just for the record, not this girl.) Austen tells Whitney that Olivia called him a POS, and in Austen’s interview, he says, even though he’s not pursuing a romantic relationship with Olivia, he cares about her. And her calling him a POS makes him sad. Olivia, Madison, and Venita come across a swing that’s a favorite on Instagram, and Venita takes photos. Austen tells Whitney that Olivia is up and down, then she puts on a show, calling him a POS. In Whitney’s interview, he says, Austen and Olivia are exhausting, but you reap what you sow. Olivia tells Madison that Taylor said things that were inconsistent. It’s the first time they talked since Taylor’s text to Shep. In Olivia’s interview, she says, nothing is consistent with Taylor. Forget the friendship. She’s talking about Taylor’s character at this point. Madison says, Olivia will probably never trust Taylor again.

It’s time for the booze cruise, and the group heads for a yacht club. On the bus, Madison pops champagne, and Craig wonders why Taylor and Shep are sitting next to each other. Austen says, when Shep finally brings someone else around, Taylor is going to get mad. Rod says, if it’s the other way around, Shep will blow up. Imagine if it was JT. Madison asks if Austen is going to come clean. He probably needs to say he’s sorry. In Madison’s interview, she says, they get solid points for having survived a toxic relationship. They now support each other from afar, and Austen came to her for advice. And he needs it. She tells him, quit making it so weird. They go to a marina and onto a yacht, where they’re welcome to the Aristocrat Tour with Captain Sardine. The captain says, the boat is all theirs while they’re here. In Craig’s interview, he says, your worries go away on a boat. If you see someone having a bad time on a boat, they probably suck. Taylor apologizes for snapping at Venita, and says, she thought he said the opposite of what he said. They make a snorkel stop, and I cry because I should be doing this. Not this bunch of losers. Craig says he’ll stay on the boat and drink, since they have no spears to spear fish with. Madison joins him, and Venita and Olivia also sit it out. The others get in the water. Madison asks if Craig misses Paige, and Craig says, he’ll get a tan, go home, and f*** her. Alrighty then. He asks if Madison has a girl crush on Paige, and she says, for sure. He says, Paige has one on her too, and Madison says, get her to move to Charleston. Craig says, the original plan was for him to move to New York for a few years, but his company is getting big, and it’s tied to Charleston. Madison asks what he’ll do if Paige doesn’t want to move to Charleston, and he says, probably break up.  

Craig tells Madison, first he would fight for it, and do what it takes to figure it out. A DJ does his thing, and everyone dances on deck. Mostly badly. Some of the crew do a sort of funky line dance, and in Craig’s interview, he says he loves to dance. He used to watch YouTube videos to learn. NSYNC and Justin Bieber. They head back at dusk, and Shep says he’s going to miss Captain Sardine. He just talked to Whitney, who has upgraded to the presidential suite. Craig asks what Shep would say to the next girl who goes out with JT, and Shep says, don’t wear heels. (In case you didn’t know, JT is short.) Craig asks what Taylor would say to the next girl Shep dates, and she says, don’t expect to finish. Yikes! In Austen’s interview, he says he wants everyone involved to have fun, if it’s one or three. Shep says, as long as he gets off, he doesn’t care. He’s not going through a big production. In Taylor’s interview, she says she can count on three fingers how many times, and I’m just stunned. Whitney has a fully stocked bar delivered to his suite and tells the waiter, it’s not for him; it’s for the hoi polloi. The others approach the door, and Madison says, it’s fancy AF. For whatever reason, Shep decides to try to break in, hitting the door with his shoulder, and only hurts himself. Whitney lets them in and gives Shep the tour. Shep says, it’s Shangri La, and Austen says, it’s where it doesn’t happen. Whitney asks, what happened on the boat? and Shep sits away from everyone. Madison says, they have to change for dinner, and Shep pouts, saying, he’s not showering. He wishes Austen changed. Austen says he does change, but Shep can’t, and that’s the problem. Shep says, a problem for whom? and Austen says, everyone Shep ever met in his life. Ouch.

Shep says he has a lot of good friends and doesn’t need Austen. Austen says he cares about people and would never say that. Shep told Taylor that he liked cheating on her. He’s been an absolute f***. Shep asks what Austen has been, and Austen says, honest. In Craig’s interview, he says, Shep has been in denial so long, he’s finally realizing his best friend hooked up with his girlfriend. Austen says, Shep holds a soft spot for Taylor, and Taylor grabbed him. She came on to him, not the other way around. Shep says, she’s never been honest, but Austen says, she was honest. With him too. Whitney wants Austen to act it out and plays Taylor in the scenario. Shep tells them, f*** off, and Austen says, Shep can’t face the fact that he and Taylor f***… ing made out and she’s moved on. Madison says, he almost said f***ed, and in Madison’s interview, she says, Austen just admitted it. Austen tells Madison that she’s a bored housewife, and Madison tells Whitney that she’ll see him at dinner and leaves.

Taylor is the first to arrive at dinner, and no surprise, Olivia shows up next. Craig says, Austen hooking up with Taylor f***ed up his position, and Shep’s anger at Austen continues to surface. Austen says, Taylor is taking Shep’s lead. He keeps saying it’s all good, but sometimes he gets angry. Shep says, it’s been nice. Austen doesn’t give a f*** about anyone but himself. He used to be 34 and a scoundrel. Austen says, a total scoundrel, and in Shep’s interview, he says, it’s an accumulation of things with Austen. They spent time together in Australia and he didn’t say a word. He has no concept of friendship or loyalty. Austen says, if that’s how Shep feels, he doesn’t know what to say, and Shep says he’s going to change his clothes. Whitney says, thanks for coming. It was a really, really nice time. Shep drove off Madison. How do you do that? Shep says, someone had to. At the table outside, crickets chirp.

Venita sits down and asks for a glass of bubbles, since she’s five, and Madison joins them soon after. In Madison’s interview, she says, talk about awkward. That the hell is she doing here? A family style dinner is served, and everyone else trickles to the table. Craig has his shirt unbuttoned almost entirely, and Madison calls him Rico Suave, buttoning up one more. Austen says, they’re all hammered. He and Whitney made out. Craig says, Austen and Shep finally fought it out, and Taylor says, then made out. JT says, it’s the biggest plot twist on a vacation he’s heard of in his life. Whitney says he and Austen took a jacuzzi, and Madison asks Austen, which kiss was better, Whitney or Taylor? Austen says she’s a f***ing bored housewife, and Madison says, if that’s his dig, lights out. Whatever that means. Austen says, don’t talk to him, and Shep says, they had fun today. Madison says, it was a moment, and everyone toasts to Craig. Shep says, cheers to Captain Sardine, and they toast again. Taylor gets up and clinks her fork on her glass. She says she knows she was quiet last night, but the conversation has been happening for two and a half months. For her of herself and her own well-being, she wants to put this to rest.

To be continued…

🌰 Looking For Pre-Roasted Chestnuts…

Slide in tomorrow for the free-for-all that is Friday, from soap to sage words. Until then, stay safe, stay not over committing, and stay not being the person having a bad time on a boat. Because if you are, you probably suck.