What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

General Hospital

Carly is in Kelly’s by herself, remembering Bobbie. There’s a knock at the door, and she says, we’re closed, but the knocking continues. She opens the door, and Elizabeth is there.

Felicia tells Cody that she knows it wasn’t right and she definitely crossed the line, and Maxie says, she didn’t just cross it. She ran over it and torched it behind her. Cody asks how she could do this, and she says she’s been noticing his reactions to certain situations and thought something was off. He says, literally how? He never gave her a sample. She says, he didn’t have to. She took a few strands of hair the hairstylist used on him at Home & Heart. Maxie says, that was such a violation. How could she do that? Cody says, it looks like deception runs in the family.

On the phone in an unidentified restaurant, Lucy says she realizes they’re out of season, but it’s very, very important they find them… Because a friend of hers passed away and those were her favorite flowers. It would just mean everything to her if they could find them… She appreciates it and thanks them for trying. She tells Scotty that she’s really not trying to be difficult. She’s just wants to show proper respects. He says, she’s got his.

At the PC Grill, Brook tells Tracy that the results of the new face cream are incredible. These numbers are exciting. Tracy says, good, but she’s clearly not paying attention and Brook says, it’s understandable she’s distracted today. She knows this is a hard time for Tracy, losing Bobbie so soon after Luke. Tracy says, yet more proof that life can change in the blink of an eye, and Brook suggests they do this another time. They can reschedule. Tracy sees Martin walk in and says, no need.

Willow walks into Sonny’s old kitchen and hugs Josslyn, saying, sorry about Bobbie. We’re never ready to lose the people we love. Josslyn thanks her, and Willow asks if she needs anything or if she can do anything, but Josslyn says, no. She’s just glad Willow is here. Willow sees Michael, and the moss bowl🎍turns its back to him.

Dante goes into the interrogation room, telling the officer that he can take it from here. The officer leaves, and Sonny says he appreciates Dante coming in to ask him questions, but Dante knows he doesn’t talk to cops. Dante takes Sonny’s cuffs off, and Sonny asks if they’re doing this off the record. Dante says, this isn’t about the assault on Cyrus. Bobbie Spencer died.

Elizabeth says she knows this is a difficult time for Carly, and she probably wants to be alone, but she heard about Carly’s mom. She’s really sorry for Carly’s loss. Carly thanks her, but says, they’re closed, and Elizabeth says she knows. She doesn’t want to eat. She just wanted to be here to feel closer to Bobbie. She doesn’t want to intrude, but if there’s anything she can do for Carly or her family, please don’t hesitate to ask. She loved Carly’s mom. She starts to leave, but Carly asks if she wants to come in for a cup of coffee. Elizabeth says she’d love that, and they go inside.

Tracy says, Martin was supposed to be here with Lucy, and Brook says, Tracy invited Lucy and Martin to their business lunch? She must be a glutton for punishment. Tracy says she has to take care of something, and gets up. Brook tells her to ask him to join them, and Tracy goes over to Martin’s table. She asks, where’s his worst half? and he’s like, say what? She says, Lucy’s assistant said she was going to have a lunch date with him, yet here he is all by himself. She knows Lucy didn’t blow him off for work because she’s not at the office. Where is she? He asks if she’s aware that Bobbie Spencer passed away, and she says, yes, she is. Bobbie was her sister-in-law. He says, then it shouldn’t exactly be hard for her to comprehend why Lucy’s not in the mood for a lunch date. She says, Lucy and Bobbie had a feud for decades, and he says, it’s true they had a complicated relationship, but the truth is, Bobbie’s death has hit Lucy very hard. As a matter of fact, if she must know, Lucy and Scotty are together right now. They’re planning something for Bobbie’s memorial. Tracy laughs and says, those two together? Nothing good’s going to come from that.

Scotty says he wants to do everything in his power to honor Bobbie, but shrubbery’s not exactly his expertise, and Lucy says she knows. She’s not a florist, but the floral presentation at Bobbie’s memorial needs to be big and epic and beautiful to honor her life. She’s just so afraid that Bobbie’s flowers aren’t in season. What if they can’t find them? He says, she will. He’s seen her work magic before, and he wouldn’t want to bet against her, but he does admire her for doing this. She and Bobbie weren’t exactly copacetic. Lucy says, he’s right. They definitely had their issues. He tells her that he’d say so. Lucy was willing to get in trouble because she thought Bobbie wasn’t doing the Nurses Ball the way she wanted it done. She says, it’s just that she thought she could do it better, that she could raise more money. She and Bobbie did fight a lot, but somehow, she has this feeling that deep down there was mutual respect, and now they’ve run out of time. She’s not going to be able to make it right with Bobbie, and she’s going to regret that for the rest of her life. He says he feels the same way she does.

Sonny thanks Dante for telling him about Bobbie, and Dante asks if that’s all he’s got to say. Sonny says, until his attorney is present, and Dante says, come on. Sonny and Bobbie were friends for decades. That’s got to hurt. Sonny says he wasn’t expecting it, and Dante sits down. He says he heard and didn’t want to not tell Sonny with everything going on with Nina. He just wants Sonny to know he’s here for him, okay? Sonny says, really? and Dante asks if Sonny doesn’t believe him. Sonny says, Dante had him arrested, and Dante says, sometimes he’s a cop, but he’s Sonny’s son 24/7, and what he’s seeing right now as his son, kind of scares the hell out of him.

Felicia tells Cody that she’s not going to apologize for looking out for her husband. There’s nothing she wouldn’t do for her family, and she just had to know if her suspicions were correct. He says he gets it. She just wanted Mac to know the truth, but Mac’s not the only person involved here. Sasha comes in and asks if she’s interrupting, and Maxie says she doesn’t mean to be rude, but they’re in the middle of something sensitive. Cody says, that’s okay. He and Sasha have actually talked about Felicia questioning the DNA results, and Maxie says, they discussed this before? Sasha says, don’t blame Cody. She actually brought it up. After what Maxie’s mom said on Christmas Eve, she just sort of mentioned it without thinking. She figured it didn’t matter since they all knew the truth. Cody says, Felicia actually just ran another DNA test to see if he was Mac’s son, and Sasha says, oh, wow. Okay. So that’s what’s going on here. If Felicia ran her own test, then she knows for sure Cody wasn’t lying. Felicia says she does. She really thought there was something else going on here, but she guesses her instincts were wrong this time. Cody is not Mac’s son.

Maxie says, of course (🍷) Cody isn’t Mac’s son, and she can’t believe Felicia thought he was, especially after the first DNA test. Felicia says she hopes Cody can forgive her, and he says, there’s just one thing he doesn’t understand. No one had to know about this if she’d just kept quiet, so why did she tell him? Felicia says, because it’s the right thing to do. He’s important to her family, and that means a lot to her. She doesn’t want there to be any secrets between them. She can admit when she’s done something wrong, and she doesn’t repeat her mistakes… Well, not often. He says he appreciates that. He knows telling him couldn’t have been easy, so they’re good. Maxie says, change of plans. She’s going to take the afternoon off and spend time with her mom. She thinks they could both use it. Felicia says she’d love that, and Maxie says, great. Let’s get out of here. She’ll call Sasha to reschedule. Maxie leaves with Felicia, and Cody asks, what the hell just happened?

Carly says she can make Elizabeth a BLT, or she thinks they have some pastries… Elizabeth says, Carly doesn’t need to take care of her. She’s going through a lot right now. She knows they’ve never been close – it’s probably easier that way – but if Carly needs to talk or just cry, she’s here for her. Carly thanks her and says she really appreciates that. She thinks she could use one of those pastries. Carly goes in the back to find something to help her eat her feelings, and she says, what? Dammit!

Sonny says, Dante doesn’t have to worry about him, but Dante says he disagrees. Sonny’s looking pretty rough. Maybe he just hit his breaking point with everything that’s going on. Sonny says he’s fine, but Dante says, he’s not. If he was, he wouldn’t have beaten someone up for no reason, even Cyrus Renault. Sonny says he appreciates Dante’s concern, but they both know he can’t separate being a cop from being his son. He doesn’t expect Dante to. Diane walks in and asks for a moment alone with her client, and Dante says, absolutely. He’ll be out there if they need him. He leaves, and Diane says, the arrest report says second degree assault. She’s just going to assume it was self-defense. Sonny says, no. Cyrus never raised a hand to him.

Willow asks how Josslyn is holding up, and Josslyn says, she’s okay… She means, not. She just misses Bobbie so much already. Willow says she knows, taking Josslyn’s hand. Losing Bobbie was just so unexpected. Michael says, thankfully, they have each other to lean on, and Willow agrees. She asks if Carly is here. She’d like to offer her condolences. Michael says, she’s at Kelly’s. She just needed some time alone. They’re all pretty much in shock. Josslyn says, mom’s devastated, and Willow says, of course (🍷) she is. Her heart breaks for Carly. Josslyn says she’s going to check on Avery and Donna, and leaves. Michael says, it’s good to see Willow, and she asks why he didn’t call her last night. She would’ve come over. He says, she’s here now, and she hugs him. She says she’s so sorry. She loved Bobbie too.

Sasha closes the door and tells Cody that she knew something was off when Felicia showed up at Home & Heart for no reason. Even Maxie was suspicious. And the way Felicia was watching him. There was just something about it that made her curious. So she followed Felicia and saw her taking hair out of the hairbrush they’d been using on him. So she figured Felicia was going to run another paternity test on him and Mac. He says, wow. The PCPD could use a detective as good as her. She says she didn’t actually know she was right until she saw Felicia telling a messenger to take an envelope to the lab. Fortunately, she was able to swap out the hair sample. He says, with whose hair? and she says, hers. He says, right. So he guesses she knew the results would come back negative. (Oh, okay. He’s not going to ask just how she swapped out the samples? Did she mug the messenger?) She says, or she was about to get the biggest surprise of her life, and he says he appreciates her going through all that trouble for him, but she really shouldn’t have done it. She asks, why not? She thought he was dead set about the truth of him being Mac’s son coming out. He says he ia, because he committed a crime, and she just implicated herself in it.

Martin says, the thought occurs, he shouldn’t have to abide Tracy’s continually snide comments about the woman he loves. Tracy sits down and tells him not to tie himself in a knot defending Lucy Coe. She has chosen to take solace from Scott Baldwin. He says he means it. Just because they don’t get along doesn’t mean she has to grab every single opportunity to tear Lucy down when she should be grieving. Tracy asks if Lucy has chosen to share her feelings about Bobbie’s passing with him, and he says, that doesn’t mean anything. She’s obviously processing an unexpected loss. She says, or Lucy doesn’t want him to see her real self. She doesn’t want to let him in, because if he knew the real sordid story about what Lucy did to Bobbie, he’d run for the hills. But there is one person who knows Lucy Coe, warts and all, and through every despicable act has stood by her. That’s Scott Baldwin.

Lucy says, reliving that horrible, horrible, horrible bet she made with Damien Smith, it not only hurt Bobbie, but it hurt Tony too, poor sweet Tony. And she deserved all the anger. She just had no respect for their marriage, but if she could take it back, she sure as heck would. He says, what a pair they were, and she says she doesn’t want to speak ill of the dead, but Bobbie was no saint all the time. People forget, but not always. He says, she would be the first one to admit that. When Bobbie brought her brother to this town, his life definitely changed. Lucy says she doesn’t want to judge Bobbie, because she’s lived her life in the grey area morally speaking – she can’t seem to help it – but Bobbie made mistakes too. But that’s the difference. Somehow, people forgave her and she rose above it and they looked up to her. Lucy doesn’t think it’s fair. Why didn’t she ever get that? He says, maybe if she was a nurse, she would have been forgiven… What did he just say? Lucy’s voice breaks as she says, if she tells him something right now, does he swear it will never leave this table? Does he swear? He says he promises, and they lock pinkies.

On the phone, Diane says she appreciates all the information… Absolutely, yes. Please call her if anything changes. She thanks them, and tells Sonny that it’s his lucky day despite being in custody. Cyrus Renault is in guarded, but stable condition. Sonny says, so is he going to make a full recovery? and she says, presumably. She can’t make any promises, but given Cyrus’s history of violence and the fact that he was recently incarcerated, she should be able to get Sonny bail. He thanks her, and she says, he pays her because she’s the best. She’ll go start the paperwork. Once he’s released, they should talk about next steps regarding Nina. Does he want her to start divorce proceedings?

Carly bangs on the sink, and says, stupid sink. She can’t believe this. It picks today of all days to do this again? Elizabeth comes in and asks, what’s the problem? Carly says, this sink. It keeps backing up and no matter what she does, she can’t fix it. It’s just infuriating. Elizabeth asks if she has a wrench, and Carly gets one out of a cupboard and gives it to her. Elizabeth says, by the way, it’s not the sink; it’s the pipes. She goes underneath the sink and bangs on the pipe. The water goes down, and Carly asks how she did that. Elizabeth says she used to work here, remember? This sink was always a problem. It used to drive Carly’s mother crazy. Carly starts to cry and says she’s sorry. She knows it might seem small to Elizabeth, but it’s not; it’s big. All she wants is to run Kelly’s so smoothly that it will make her mom proud and not let her down. Elizabeth says, Carly couldn’t. She was everything to her mom. Carly thanks her.

Michale asks how the kids are, and Willow says, they’re fine. He asks if she told them, but she says, no. Not without him there. She thinks that’s something they should do together. He says he agrees, and the moss bowl🎍agrees with his agreement. He hated being away from her last night. He tossed and turned for hours. He missed her being next to him. He knows he messed up and he messed up bad, but he’s willing to do whatever it takes to make things right. She says she wishes it was that simple; she really does. But this has her looking at their relationship with new eyes. He really hurt her.

Cody says, Sasha made herself an accessory after the fact. Why would she put herself in the middle of his mess? She says, seems like a minor risk after what he did for her, and he says, the last thing he wants to do is put her in a bad position, but she says, he didn’t. It was her call and she never hesitated for a second. He thanks her and says he appreciates it, but next time, can she give him a heads up? He was this close to confessing everything to Felicia. She says she admits Felicia surprised her. She had no reason to admit what she did. She must really care about him. He says, yeah, or her family does. He’s grown really attached to them. To James, to Maxie, and to Mac, and he’s lying to all of them. He hates it. She says she knows he does, and he says, Felicia had the guts to tell the truth, but he still doesn’t. She says, it’s more complicated for him than it is for Felicia. She wouldn’t face any legal consequences by telling the truth. (Wait. What? She just had a DNA test done without his knowledge or consent.) He wonders why he let Scotty talk him into that stupid WSB lawsuit. Because he saw the possibility of a big payday, and it ended up costing him a family.

Michael says he wasn’t trying to hurt Willow. Just the opposite. He was trying to prevent her from being hurt. She say she understands why he did it, but she’s not okay with him lying to her, even if it’s a lie of omission. He says he’s sorry, and she says she knows he is, and this is the worst possible time for this to happen. His grandmother just died and that’s where his focus is, where it should be, but even though she’s going to be here to support his family during this difficult time… He says, she needs space, and she says, yes. But she’s going to bring the kids over after she gets off work. She’ll see him then. She leaves and Josslyn comes back. He asks how much she heard, and she says, enough to know he messed up bad. What did he do? He says he found out that Nina reported mom and Drew to the SEC, and he kept it from everyone.

Sonny tells Diane, right now, he just wants to get out of here. His family just suffered a big loss. Bobbie just passed away. Diane says she heard about that; all of her condolences. But they’ve got to discuss the Nina of it all. He says he understands, but she’s not a priority right now. His children just lost their grandmother and Carly just lost her mother… She says she’s got it. She’s going to see about getting him released. She leaves.

Carly says, it’s funny. She always knew Elizabeth worked with her mom at GH, but she forgot Elizabeth used to work here (me too). Elizabeth says, it was so long ago. She’s known Carly’s mom for as long as she’s been in Port Charles. Bobbie was there for her in one of the darkest moments of her life. She honestly doesn’t know if she would have been able to get through it if it weren’t for Bobbie. Bobbie understood exactly what she was going through, and she definitely needed that. She was so steady and gentle, and so compassionate. Carly’s mom and this place became kind of a refuge for her. She was safe here, and she owes Bobbie so much for that. She thinks that’s why she wanted to be here right now. Because when everything in her life was falling apart, she knew she could always count on Bobbie. She thinks she just wanted to feel that security again.

Carly says she thinks being a nurse was the perfect job for her mom. No one was better at taking care of people. Elizabeth says, Bobbie showed her how to treat others. She’s always tried to put that into practice at GH. Pay it forward for her. Carly thanks her, and Elizabeth says, her mom may be gone, but she left an incredible legacy, and that’s how she’s going to live on. Not just in the hearts of her family, but in everyone who strived to bring a little compassion and kindness back into this world. Carly thanks Elizabeth for talking to her about her mom, because it’s exactly what she needed. She thanks Elizabeth for being her friend and staying. It’s what her mom would have done. They hug and Elizabeth leaves.

At the cemetery, Maxie tells Felicia that she’s glad they decided to come here today. Felicia says, her too, and puts flowers on BJ’s grave, touching the headstone. She says, say hello to your mom, sweet girl, and takes Maxie’s hand. She says she sure misses Bobbie, and BJ.

Josslyn asks, why make a deal with Nina? and Michael says, because when he went to tell dad the truth, he couldn’t go through with it. He was so happy and so in love. If he would have found out Nina turned Drew and mom into the SEC, it would have broken his heart. The same with Willow. Every single time Willow let Nina in, Nina disappointed her or worse. He thought he was protecting his family from Nina. She says, at their mother’s expense? and he says, that’s easy for her to say. She’s not in his position. Does he regret lying to mom? Yes, he does, but he didn’t have any good choice here. She says, telling the truth would have been a good one, and he asks if she’s ever lied to protect someone she loves.

Diane says, Sonny is a free man. Cyrus Renault being a convicted felon worked in their favor and she was able to secure his bail. So go home, deal with what he needs to deal with, then call her. They’ll circle back to their previous conversation and discuss next steps. Sonny says, okay,and thanks her. Dante comes in and closes the door. Sonny says he just wants Dante to know that he heard every word Dante said before and he appreciates it. Dante says he understands why Sonny didn’t want to talk to him before. He didn’t want to arrest Sonny. Sonny says, Dante was doing his job; he’s a cop. He wants Dante to know he’s also his son and he loves him. Dante says he loves Sonny too, and if Sonny wants to talk, he’s literally down the hall. Sonny says, he can count on it.

Lucy tells Scotty that she can’t believe she never realized she was jealous of Bobbie. That’s why Bobbie always got under her skin. She was able to break out from her past and redeem her reputation, and people looked up to her for that. And she resented Bobbie for that. Bobbie had what she wanted. Bobbie had everyone’s respect and the admiration she craved. What’s funny is, in the end, maybe she and Bobbie weren’t so different after all. If she could have just gotten over all her jealousy and pettiness, maybe they would have ended up being friends. He says, if she was here and Lucy told her that… Lucy says, Bobbie would probably laugh in her face, but he says he doesn’t think so. He thinks they could have been friends. Bobbie could hold a grudge, but she was also very forgiving. She forgave him time and time and time again. She did not deserve all the things he did to her. Lucy says she feels the same way, and she cries. Scotty hands her a napkin, and their hands touch.

Tracy tells Martin, Lucy Coe is just one step away from her next misdeed. And for as long as she can remember, Scotty has always been her go-to guy. Does he want to be collateral damage? Be her guest. Just don’t ever say she didn’t warn him. She goes back to her table, and Brook asks what that was all about. Or does she even want to know? Tracy says, Lucy and Scotty are trying to put one over on her, but they’ve clearly forgotten who she is. Once you cross her, she destroys you.

Carly flashes back to Bobbie telling her, just like when Aunt Ruby died, they’ll get through Luke’s death together. She looks around Kelly’s and sighs.

Josslyn says she doesn’t agree Michael’s decision, but she’s not going to fight with him. She can’t be mad at him now that grandma’s gone. She needs him. He says, the most important thing now is that their family sticks together, and they hug. He says, they’ll get each other through this.

Diane tells Dante to please look after his father. Without breaking attorney/client privilege… He says he’s got it.

Sasha says, Cody is in this position now because there are people in his life he cares about, that he doesn’t want to hurt. He says, she’s right. He guesses he’s not used to people sticking their necks out for him like she did. She says she guesses he’s just going to have to face the fact he’s not alone in the world anymore, and he says he has a partner in crime now.

Maxie tells Felicia that she misses Bobbie so much. At least they know she’s with BJ now. It’s a small comfort, but it helps. She wasn’t ready to lose Bobbie yet. It hurts so much. Felicia says she knows, and hugs Maxie. She says, at least they have memories of her and that gets them through, and they have each other. That makes it hurt a little bit less.

Tracy tells Brook that she doesn’t know when Scotty and Lucy concocted this scheme, but clearly, they’re exploiting what they perceive as her loneliness. Brook says, how dare they use her like this? After all those nasty things Lucy said to her about Luke, she can’t believe Lucy would try to use Tracy’s grief to her advantage. Tracy says, anything Lucy does is believable, but she’s going to use their faults against them, and they’ll never see it coming. In fact, they’re going to dig their own graves. Brook says, good. Make them pay for it. She does know how much Tracy misses Luke. She just hopes dealing with this doesn’t distract her from dealing with those feelings. Tracy slides some papers toward herself and asks what they’re working on.

Lucy tells Scotty, oh no, no, no. She forgot to order the forget-me-nots. He says he doesn’t think Bobbie would care about the forget-me-nots, but she says, that’s not the point. The point is, they’re symbolic. They have to honor Bobbie properly, and then they’ve got to get back to doing what they do best. He asks what that means, and she says, it means marrying him off to Tracy Quartermaine and bringing her down. Scotty rubs his forehead, Lucy says, ta, and leaves.

Carly turns out the lights and looks around Kelly’s. She says, oh mom. How am I gonna do this alone? She walks outside and finds Sonny there.

Tomorrow, Curtis tells Portia that he promised he’d never do that again; Alexis asks Greogry, what comes next; and Laura says, Esme has to tell the truth.

Below Deck Mediterranean

Ugh. Back to the old Deck.

Captain Sandy calls Max to the bridge and says she doesn’t like to be lied to. Don’t do it again. He said there was no food and pitched a fit, when there was pasta. Max says he didn’t want pasta, and the captain tells him, then say he doesn’t want it, not that there’s no food. What he did was wrong, and he needs to say he’s sorry. Max says, no, and leaves, and Lara says, he’s a baby. The captain follows Max to the bow and says she understands he’s hungry and tired. Lara wonders if Haleigh is coming back, but Luka says he’s not sure. Max tells the captain that he can’t digest pasta, and she says, he did lie to her. In her interview, she says she doesn’t tolerate lying or insubordination. She would have talked to the chef, and Jack would have been blindsided. Max’s lie affected other people, and that’s not okay. She tells Max that she thinks he’s just frustrated. He has a new schedule, needs food, and she’ll make sure he gets it. Kyle talks to primary Billy and guest Chris, and says, it’s been an interesting ride for him. We flash back to Kyle’s season, and he tells them that he had expectations coming in and thinks that was his downfall. Billy complains about Jack not hearing him on the temperature of the meat. He says, if the chef doesn’t listen, there’s no value in telling him anything, and Kyle says he’ll chat with Jack. In Tumi’s interview, she says, the saving grace with Lily is that she’s reminded Tumi that in being chief stew, she’s in a position to allow people time and space to grow, Max gets food! and in his interview, he says he’s tired and hungry, and become angry. He marvels at how the words hungry and angry are similar, which leads me to believe he’s never heard the word hangry. He says he needs to take a breath and watch cat videos on YouTube. I do like the simplicity of Max.

Tumi tells the guests that they have access to a castle in Genoa for the day, Santa Margherita. In her interview, she says she’s been missing Kyle. His part in this charter was bringing the energy they need. They complement each other. There are charters she’s better at, like the Florida girls, but in dealing with demanding Billy, Kyle has the energy to manage it. Kyle tells Tumi about Billy’s chef complaint, and says he’s not feeling his best, so he’s lying down. Luke tells Captain Sandy that Katie Flood is in Portofino, and the captain asks if he has a crush on her. He’s smiling like it’s a crush; she can tell. In Luka’s interview, he says, the captain doesn’t have a clue, and it’s best for her not to know these things. Tumi asks Luka to meet her, and tells him the plans for going to the castle. Luka radios Max, but Lara says she’ll go. Max is tired and needs to digest his food. In his interview, Max says he was awake at 3 am, then he was fighting for food. In Lara’s interview, she says, Max can go to bed and suck his thumb. She doesn’t want to hear complaining. Lily plays a guessing game with the guests, and Jack tells Tumi that he’s doing classic combinations on small plates for the guests’ Dine in the Dark dinner. Luka teaches Jessika how to drive the tender, and in Jessika’s interview, she says, it’s exciting with Luka. It’s weird. Normally, she likes medium ugly guys because they stick around. In Luka’s interview, he says he’s Max’s boss and he’s been up since 6 am with no break. If he tells Max to do something, do it. The guests go to the castle, and I decide there are just too many stairs in Italy, watching Lily carry a ton of stuff up to the top. In the crew mess, the captain teases Luka about texting his girlfriend, and Luka says, Katie wants to see them. Captain Sandy says she knew it was Katie because of his face. He’s smitten. In her interview, Jessika says, what f***ing girlfriend? and Luka asks, what’s smitten? In Tumi’s interview, she says, the captain has no idea what’s going on. She’s wondering how Luka is going to get himself out of this one.

Luka tries to change the subject by talking about the jet ski, and says, Katie used to go out with one of his mates. Because we’re in kindergarten, Captain Sandy says, Luka likes her, and in her interview, Jessica says, what the f***? over and over. She thinks Luka looks guilty. He’s been making out with her and has a crush on some girl? She’s triggered. Tumi tells Jack, that was awkward, and the guests come back, saying that lunch at the castle was fabulous. The captain checks on Kyle, and asks, how’s his head? He says he’s struggling, and she tells him to let her know if he doesn’t feel better. In Lara’s interview, she says she was a bartender for two years. She and the other bartender would take off their shirts and do body shots and the tips came rolling in, but that won’t work with this group. Lily makes margaritas, which seems fitting. Back on the boat, Luka says, when he tells Max to do something, he has to do it, and Max says he’s exhausted, but Luka says he is too. He doesn’t want to be controlling, but wants Max to give his energy. He can’t complain or go to his room. Max says he just wants five f***ing minutes. It’s physic what he does [sic]. In Max’s interview, he says he doesn’t appreciate Luka talking to him like a child. He picks up the guests and brings them back. They rave over the excursion, saying it was amazing, really cool, and the service was impeccable. Billy tells Tumi that the secret to Dine in the Dark relies on service; they have to explain where things are. The pressure is on Tumi. Tumi says she’s got them. In Jack’s interview, he says, there have got to be strong flavors. You taste first with your eyes. It’s weird, but true. Now he can do what he wants because they can’t see it. In Lily’s interview, she says, Max has a wacky personality. He makes her laugh though. Lara tells Max, stop fornicating and let’s go. Tumi explains to Jessika how they have to direct the guests, and Jessika thinks it’s going to be messy. In Tumi’s interview, she says she’s never done Dine in the Dark. It’s going to be a test of her communication skills.

The first course of oysters mignonette is served, and Tumi gives the guests guidance on where the utensils are. Billy says he doesn’t know what it is, but it’s good. Someone actually guesses accurately, and they take a shot. In Lily’s interview, she says, in a week, she’s gone from rubbish to good. Think of how she’ll be in a year. Jessika tells Lily, Luka is a f***boy, and explains about him texting Katie. She’s not even going to look at him. In Jessika’s interview, she says, all she can think of is, f***boy, avoid, avoid, avoid. She’s hurt, but she has to focus on work. The guests chase the next course of yellowtail with saffron sauce around the plate, which is pretty amusing. Lara tells Luka what Jessika said, and he says, it’s awkward. He’s got to speak her. In Luka’s interview, he says, obviously, he likes Jessika more than a friend, but they’re not in a relationship. He and Katie are just friends, even if he’s texting her as more than friend… Ugh. This guy. Again, like my local K-Mart. He started of strong and went downhill. The captain checks in on dinner, surprised that the guests really can’t see, and Tumi says, the next course is more complicated because they need two utensils. Ribeye with peppercorn sauce is served. Luka tells the captain that she got him in trouble, but she says she had no idea. In her interview, she says, don’t hate the player; hate the game. Luke texts Jessika and says he knows she’s pissed off, but Captain Sandy was joking. Chocolate mousse with poached pear, otherwise known as a major candidate for Food Porn of the Year, is served for dessert. I taste it with my eyes. When one of the guests guesses pear, another says, pair of what? reminding me of the dad jokes I grew up with. Jessika tells Tumi that she’s trying to avoid Luka, and Tumi asks if she thinks she’s just being emotional. Jessika says she doesn’t know. They’ll see if she gives in when she’s f***ed up. But she’s not f***ed up now, so she’s not giving in. In Tumi’s interview, she says, between Jessika’s disastrous love life, Kyle being ill, and Lily thriving, they’re doing really well. Luka texts that he’s sorry if he pissed Jessika off. He spoke to Captain Sandy. In Luka’s interview, he says he’s trying to prove his innocence. He’ll have to look into getting a lawyer. Definitely not Sandy. Jessika says she’s going to bed. She has no energy to do this.

The guests want late night snacks, and Lily makes guacamole with Max assisting. Luka texts Natalya that he misses her, and she texts back that she misses him more. What’s wrong with this jerk? In Lily’s interview, she says, the last boat she was on, she was the only stew on an 82 foot sailboat. She tells Max, obviously she’s not a critically acclaimed chef, and it’s taking so long, the guests wonder if they should have just asked for milkshakes. Then they wonder if she died. In Lily’s interview, she says she wouldn’t eat this herself, and tells them, it has a massive kick, but they like it. Max goes on anchor watch. In the morning, Captain Sandy sees bad weather ahead, and announces, all hands on deck. She wants to depart before it gets worse. Lara says her body is sore and she has the chills, and in her interview, she says she woke up feeling really rough. Having Haleigh off, she doesn’t want to say anything. Luka says, she’s got the flu, but Lara insists she doesn’t. Kyle stumbles out, and Tumi asks Lily to pack for the guests, then asks Jessika about Luka. Jessika says, Luka wanted to hang out when the charter was over, but she gets attached when she keeps hanging out with someone. She might as well enjoy the last few days, then that’s it. She asks what Tumi thinks, and Tumi tells her to decide for herself, and she’ll tell Jessika what she thinks after it’s over. Kyle says he’s here now, and in his interview, he says, finally the pain is gone. But even when he wasn’t present, the interior did well. Tumi is the boss bitch he came to work with. He hugs Billy and says, when they came, he got a migraine, and now that they’re leaving, he’s feeling fantastic. In Max’s interview, he says she’s knows Luka’s just doing his job, and deep down, he’s a good guy. They can make a reset like on an iPhone. Jessika texts Luka to meet her in the captain’s office. They meet, and he says, all good? She says, no bad vibes, and noticing them, Tumi says, it’s ridiculous. In her interview, Jessika says, the situation is annoying, but at the same time, it’s not her business who Luka is talking to. In his interview, Luka says, just because he’s talking to Katie, that doesn’t mean he doesn’t care. Everyone has feelings. Wow. What an Einstein. Tumi says, this is why she doesn’t have relationships with Scorpios. In her interview, Jessika says she’s going in eyes open. In Luka’s interview, he says he never suggested they had a relationship. It’s no strings. Imagine if people found out he was texting Natalya.

They dock, and in Lara’s interview, she says, honestly, she feels like a bag of d*cks. She just wants to dock the boat so she can go to bed. Captain Sandy tells the crew to get in their whites for guest departure, and they do the usual. Billy says, the charter was amazing, Tumi’s team was incredible, and after a stumble, Jack was great. More gay fun, less hotel. In Jack’s interview, he says, if that’s the only critique Billy can give, he’ll give himself a pat on the back. The guests leave, and Captain Sandy tells the crew to meet for the tip meeting. She gets a text from Haleigh, who says she’s spent two days throwing up non-stop. The captain radios the crew and says, since no one is here, she’s taking the cash. The crew hurries in and she says she bought herself some shoes with the tip money. She tells them that they’re almost there. Having said that, they came together. Even though they were down a person, they did an excellent job. They should always want to be there for each other. She tells Tumi that she’s impressed and proud, and she’s especially proud of Lily. The deck team, the same; they killed it. She thanks the crew, and says, with that…. the tip is $32K, the biggest the entire season. I’m pretty sure it’s the biggest in any season of the franchise, and they clink glasses. Even though she didn’t say, I figured it to be $4000 each. In her interview, Tumi says, girl, yes! This specific charter made her feel good. If she can manage to make it a success with people less experienced, she can give herself a pat on the shoulder. Haleigh texts Luka that she’s still throwing up, and Lara goes to bed. Jessika says, they’re getting drink drank drunk, and Luka tells Lara, rest up. In Lara’s interview, she says she’s worried about missing the last charter. It will be Luka doing all the work. Max doesn’t do sh*t. I’ve decided it’s like a big PJ party to Max.

The crew gets ready to go out, and for whatever reason, Max stays on board. They go to a restaurant that Tumi pronounces civilized. Lily thanks the crew for allowing her to be a part of them, even though she came in late, and Tumi says, she’s so improved. Jessika says, Lily is now a now badass, and they wonder why Max stayed behind. On the yacht, Max lounges in his robe. In his interview, he says he loves his robe. It’s so bougie. You can shoot a hip hop clip in it because it’s so cool. To his credit, he checks on Lara. At the restaurant, Luka asks if Jessika wants to go to France after the charter is over, and she says, might as well. In her interview, she says, Luka is in damage repair mode. Why did she say yes? When she gets approval or attention, it feels good. She can admit that. They move on to a bar, get loud, and kind of dance. Lily does a backbend, and in Tumi’s interview, she says, it’s the first night out no one has drama. This is the chaos she’s looking for. They go back to the boat, and Lily says she’s going to wake up Prince What’s-His-Name. Jessika gets in Luka’s bunk, and he puts up a privacy towel. Lily climbs in with Max, and in Max’s interview, he says, she smells like alcohol and cigarettes. When you talk to me, move 45 degrees on the left.

In the morning, six hours to charter, Captain Sandy texts Haleigh to see how she’s feeling. She sees Lara and asks, what’s wrong? Lara says she feels fluey; she has body chills. The captain wonders if she should be on board and decides she’s getting Lara off the boat. Lara says she understands and tells Luka. In Captain Sandy’s interview, she says, if Lara is down and Haleigh doesn’t come back, she’ll be down to Max and Luka. She won’t be able to leave the dock. She has to abide by the Safe Manning document. She calls to get a doctor for Lara ASAP, and in her interview, she says she has to meet the safety requirements. How is she going to get off the dock with only two deckhands? Haleigh texts that she’ll call. It’s been a rough two days.

Next time, Jessica says she’s going to Cannes with Luka; Captain Sandy misses Natalya’s organizational skills; Jeff tells Natalya to come see them; and Natalya makes Jack promise not to tell anyone she’s coming.

☔️ That Rainy Day Is Now…

Join me tomorrow for more soap angst and Golden Globes talk. Until then, stay safe; stay contemplating one thing you would like to happen in 2024 and then make a plan to bring it into being; and stay admitting when you’ve done something wrong and not repeating your mistakes. At least not often.