What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

General Hospital

Esme rifles through a drawer in Alexis’s desk and takes out a credit card. She gets on the laptop and starts to book a flight, when Doc walks in, startling her.

The Savoy is decorated for a major party, and Trina says she can’t believe Curtis arranged all this when he just got out of the hospital yesterday. I can’t believe he got out of the hospital already. He says he has a daughter that is smart enough to be accepted into the Sorbonne for a semester abroad in Paris. He’s going to make sure her sendoff is special, so they’re going to send her off in style. Trina says, her present is seeing that his procedure seemed to work, and there’s a possibility he’ll be walking by the time she gets home. She feels much better about leaving now. He says he and her mother will be expecting a lot of messages from her. Portia says, they want to hear about all of her experiences, when Spencer runs in. He asks Trina if he’s late to the party, and she says, not at all, but she thought he was coming with his grandmother and Doc. He says he’s sure they’ll be on their way.

Kristina lets Molly into her apartment and says, this is a rare sight. Molly asks what she means, and Kristina says, it’s not often she sees her sister out of the courthouse while the sun is still shining. Molly says, the afternoon hearing got pushed to tomorrow, and then her favorite organic food store just called to tell her about a new shipment of fruits and vegetables that just came in, so she went grocery shopping for Kristina. She knows how much Kristina would rather have a burger and fries from Charlie’s, but since she already had the implantation, she thought… She’s being pushy, isn’t she? Kristina says, Molly is a Davis, so she’d expect nothing less, and Molly says, if it’s too much, just tell her. She’ll back off. Kristina says she’s fine. She appreciates Molly asking. Molly says, one of the bags needs to be refrigerated, and Kristina says she’s pretty well stocked, so they might have some trouble fitting it in. Molly says, when she and TJ moved in together, there was never enough room for their stuff until she watched this amazing how to organize your fridge video. It changed everything. Come on. She’ll show Kristina. I want to see this too. What site is that on?

James says he can’t find his firetruck, and Maxie asks if he checked under his bed. He says he did and it’s not there, and Maxie says, check his toybox and his closet. He says, okay, and runs off. Maxie tells Felicia, he’s not going to find it, and follows. Spinelli comes out, and Felicia asks how it’s going living with Maxie. He says, it’s most agreeable. He’s loving all the family time after dinner. He’s reminded about how great a mom Maxie is. All that’s a bonus. Living with his daughter fulltime is tremendous. It was a very sound financial strategy, pretending he has nowhere to live. The rent he’s paying Maxie should be helping her make ends meet. Felicia says she has to agree. Maxie seems much less stressed. Maxie comes back and asks what they’re talking about. Felicia says, good coffee, and Spinelli says, very good. There’s a knock at the door, and Spinelli answers. It’s Cody, and Spinelli says, sorry. They don’t need any cookies. He tries to close the door, but Cody walks past him, saying, that’s good, because he’s not selling any. He says hello to Maxie and Felicia.

In the visiting room at Pentenville, Heather calls to Laura and waves her arm. Laura goes over, and Heather thanks her so much for coming. This is an honor. A visit from the mayor. It’s going to give her bragging rights around here. She also wants to offer her sincere condolences about Barbara Jean Spencer’s passing. She knows Laura and Bobbie had their share of disagreements, but she’s sure… Laura says, the only reason she’s here is because Heather claims to have information on her grandson Ace. Heather says, their grandson she means? Yeah, she does. She knows Nikolas took off with him. Laura asks, how on earth could she know that? and Heather says, Esme told her when she came to visit.

Maxie says she got Cody’s text earlier, but why is he stopping by? and he says, it’s just something that happened at James’s last riding lesson. She asks if something went wrong, but he says, no. That kid’s a natural. James runs in and asks what Cody is doing here, and Cody says he got James a present. James opens the box and says, cool. New boots. Cody says, the ones James has now are a little tight for him, and James says, they pinch his toes. Maxie says, when Aunt Nina gave him those boots for Christmas, he said they fit him, and he says, they did. Now they don’t. Cody says he guesses James’s feet grow fast, and Maxie says she knew the boots were a bit on the small side, but he was so excited about them. James says, these boots are awesome. Mom said he was going to have to wait until his birthday to get new ones. James walks off, and Maxie tells Cody, those boots are too expensive, but Cody says he’s making great money at Deception now. He’s got to spend it on something. It’s no big deal. He’s just happy to see James so enthusiastic about horses. He loves it when someone takes to riding so quickly. Felicia says, it’s a very thoughtful gesture, but Spinelli says, it’s something he should have asked Maxie about first. James says he wants to try them on.

Esme asks if Doc is spying on her, and he says he’s sorry. He didn’t mean to sneak up on her. She was just so focused on her work. She says she didn’t mean to snap at him. He startled her, and she’s been a little on edge since Nikolas stole her son. He says, actually, that’s why he’s here. He’s surprised she came into work at all. She says she can’t just sit home and worry about Ace. She has to find a way to move forward, no matter how impossible that might seem. What other choice does she have? He says, you tell me, and she says she’s been through this nightmare before, but when Victor Cassadine took Ace away from her, at least she knew Spencer was with him. Ace has no idea who Nikolas is, and he’s going to be very scared and he’s going to be very confused. Doc says, personally, he believes that Nikolas will take good care of Ace, but of course (🍷) she’s going to worry. She says she can’t do anything but worry. Did he come here just to check in on her? He asks why that’s so difficult to believe. He thought they all got along quite well when she was living with him and Laura. She says, sure, but that was because of Ace. He says, because of Ace, and her. She is his niece after all. She says she knows. It just feels strange. He says he understands. May he ask her a question? Why didn’t she tell anyone that Nikolas had taken Ace? Not even the police.

Molly says she’s surprised to see how well-stocked Kristina is. She’s normally more of a take-out gal. Kristina says, that was before she agreed to be Molly’s surrogate, and Molly says, she’s really taking this seriously, isn’t she? Kristina says, of course (🍷). She’s all in. She’s going to eat healthy until her niece – or nephew – arrives. Molly asks if that means she’s already pregnant.

Ava asks how Portia is holding up, and Portia says she’s putting on a brave face, so Trina doesn’t realize how nervous she actually is. Trina lives in the dorms, but she’s a local girl. She’s never been more than 50 miles outside of the city for more than two weeks. Now she’s going to Paris, halfway around the world, for four months. Ava says, look at it this way. It’s one hell of an excuse to plan a trip to Paris. Portia says, that’s a good idea, and Ava says she’s going to miss Trina a lot too. It’s going to be tough with her half a world away. Why don’t they lean on each other then? Portia says she thinks that’s a good idea.

Marshall says, Portia told him that Trina’s going to be living in a dorm. Where will Spencer be staying? Spencer says he actually found this really quaint pied-da-terre in the Latin Quarter near Trina’s dorm, and Stella asks how he plans on occupying his time while Trina’s in school. He says he’s actually been to Paris quite a few times. There’s always something to do. Trina joins them and says she thinks they’ve been interrogating Spencer long enough, but Marshall says, who’s interrogating? He’s just showing an interest in Spencer’s plan. Stella says, Spencer can take care of himself, can’t he? and Spencer says, yes, ma’am. Trina suggests they talk to Joss, and she and Spencer go to the bar.

Trina asks if Josslyn has seen Laura and Doc, but she says she hasn’t. Spencer says he’s sure it’s nothing to worry about. He thinks they’re just running late. At least that’s what Laura texted him. Josslyn asks if he thinks Laura actually lied to him, but he tells her that he’s not saying that. He’s just saying he doesn’t think it’s the worst thing that there’s going to be an ocean between the two of them. Trina says she knows Laura loves him, and Spencer agrees, but says he just doesn’t think she likes him all that much right now. Trina says she just thinks something important must have kept her away, but Spencer says he thinks he may have lost her support.

Laura asks when Esme visited Heather, and why? and Heather says, sometimes a girl just needs her mother. Speaking of which, how the hell is Leslie? Do they still talk or… Laura says, let’s stay focused on Esme, all right? Because last she heard, Esme was terrified of Heather after she saw Heather attack Dr. Gatlin-Holt at Windymere. Why would Esme visit her? Heather says, because she was distraught over Laura’s son kidnapping her child. Laura says she has talked to the police about that, and because her son is the child’s father, they don’t consider that kidnapping. Heather says, there you go. That’s exactly why Esme came to see her. Esme realized she’s the only person she can trust. Laura says she doesn’t believe Heather. Actually, she and Esme have become very close ever since she gave birth to Ace. Heather says, that was before she remembered all the horrible things Laura’s family did to her.

Kristina tells Molly that she meant she’s going to eat healthy for as long as it takes, not that she’s pregnant. It’s been less than a week since the implantation. (Ha-ha! Sounds like a field of crops.) Molly says, of course (🍷). She doesn’t know what she was thinking. Kristina says she didn’t want to get Molly’s hopes up, but Molly says, no. It’s silly of her to jump right to that. Kristina says, the plan is, she’s going to wait a couple of days and take a home pregnancy test. That way, they can avoid a false negative. Molly says, that’s a very logical thing to do, and Kristina wonders where her phone is. She’s been losing things like crazy lately. Speaking of which, the craziest thing happened at Charlie’s. This woman came in and she was furious. She was insisting she left her phone right here on the bar. She was waving her hands around and kept saying how it was such an expensive upgraded phone. Meanwhile, she had her phone right in her hand the entire time. Isn’t that crazy? Molly says, that’s crazy… or they could just take a test now. She pulls out a pregnancy test.

Cody puts the boots on James and says, whoops. He guesses he’s new to buying kids’ boots. James says he thinks they’re perfect, and stumbles around. Cody says he got them from a real saddlery, so he can just exchange them. Let him call the guy. He steps outside, and Spinelli follows. He says he knows what Cody is doing, but it’s not going to work. Cody says, okay. What is he doing again? Spinelli says, he’s taking advantage of Maxie’s generous nature, and Cody tells him, says the guy who’s living in Maxie’s house?

Josslyn says she wants updates and pictures of everything. All the beautiful places Trina and Spencer go to. Trina says she wishes Josslyn could just come with them, and Josslyn says she has her classes at PCU, but she was thinking she could come to Paris for spring break. Trina says she’d love that, and Spencer says he feels as her boyfriend, he should get a say in that, but Trina and Josslyn both say, no. Trina says, then it’s settled, and they laugh. Spencer says he has to check on something real quick, and takes out his phone. Trina asks if there’s any news about his dad. She still can’t believe his dad took Ace like that. Spencer says he let his father take Ace, and he even delayed telling Esme so he could give Nikolas a bigger head start. Josslyn asks why he would do that. She’s no friend of Esme’s, but to take her kid like that? That’s pretty harsh, especially when he does nothing but talk about what a lousy dad Nikolas was. Does he think Nikolas is going to be any better for Ace? Spencer says, the situation has changed, and Trina asks, how? He says he’s pretty sure Esme has her memories back.

Portia tells Stella, it’s really been an emotional past few days, right? There’s been some highs, like Curtis coming home and possibly being able to walk again. But then there’s the lows, like Trina leaving for four months and being halfway around the world. Stella asks, is Trina’s leaving troubling her or the fact that Spencer is going to be with her? and Portia says she thinks she’s learned to accept the fact that Trina needs to make her own decisions in her life. She’s a young lady and she’s decided that Spencer is part of that life. Okay, fine, but Portia can’t stop thinking about all the turmoil that follows Spencer wherever he goes. Wouldn’t it be better for her to go to Paris without him?

Laura says, Esme got her memories back? When did that happen? Heather says, the night of Christmas Eve. She went back to Windymere where Laura’s horrible, criminal son held her prisoner for months and months. She guesses it brought it back for her. Laura asks why Esme wouldn’t mention that to her, and Heather says, she didn’t want to go to prison. Duh. Come on. They both know the charges related to that stupid sex tape are still hanging over Esme’s head. Laura asks why Heather would put her own daughter at risk by revealing her secret. Heather knows she’s the mayor. She doesn’t think Laura is going to go straight to the PCPD? Heather says she knows Laura will. Then they’ll put Esme here in Pentenville where she belongs… with her mother.

Marshall asks how Curtis is doing, and Curtis says, glad to be out of the hospital. He knows everybody is just doing their job, but the constant check-ins and nurses and all the noise from the machines, it’s kind of hard to sleep in the hospital. Last night he got about seven hours. It felt pretty good. Marshall says he can imagine, but he knows Curtis. Something’s got him on edge. Curtis says he’s fine, but Marshall says, no, he’s covering, which is his right. But if there’s any way he can help, even just by listening, he wants to. Curtis says, the thing is, for the first time he has real hope that he might walk again. They both know hope is no guarantee, but in some ways, the uncertainty is harder than just accepting he’ll be in this wheelchair for the rest of his life. That’s not a fun reality. It’s a harsh fact that he can wrap his brain around though. Marshall says, as opposed to having a glimmer of hope that might never be realized, and Curtis says, exactly. If he tells himself that he can walk again and he never does, it will be like being paralyzed all over again. Marshall says he hears Curtis. Hope takes courage. Fortunately, Curtis is the most courageous man he’s ever known.

Maxie says, they can’t get these boots scuffed up or Cody won’t be able to exchange them for boots that actually fit James’s feet. James asks if the store is going to take them back, and Felicia says, he heard Cody. He said he’s going to take care of it. James says he can ride a horse in the too small boots, but Felicia says, he just told them that they pinch his toes. James says, or he could ride in snow boots or sneakers. They could get the money back for them instead. Then he’ll give it to Maxie to help pay the bills.

On the phone, Cody says, awesome. Thank you very much. Spinelli says he’s Georgie’s father and he’s paying Maxie rent. And the only reason he’s living here is because his apartment is flooded and completely uninhabitable, which is a completely different situation than Cody trying to suck up to James with expensive gifts. Cody says, lighten up. They’re just boots. Spinelli says, maybe to Cody they are, but James has had more than one father figure come in and out of his life. Unfortunately for James, his real father Nathan tragically died before he was born, and thank God for Grandpa Mac, but every time Maxie gets involved with someone, the kids can’t help but get attached. First it was the atrocious Peter August, then Austin, who wasn’t nearly as reprehensible as Peter, but still, they came into his life and out of his life, and that’s really, really hard for kids to understand. Cody says, slow down. He’s just giving James riding lessons. He’s not trying to romance Maxie. Spinelli says, oh please. He knows Cody. He’s all too aware that Cody is just a scheming blackmailer hiding behind the veneer of rugged cowboy charm. Cody says he had no idea. Spinelli thinks he’s charming.

Kristina says she just told Molly, it’s too soon to take a test, and Molly says she knows it makes sense to wait. But the waiting is literally driving her crazy. Kristina says she sees that and feels the same way, but it’s just too early. Molly says, actually, this particular test says it can detect HGT hormones five days earlier than any other test on the market. Kristina says, what if it’s negative? and Molly says, they already know they might get a false negative. Then they’ll take another test in a few days like Kristina said. If it’s positive, then the waiting’s over and they’ll know the IUI procedure worked and she’s pregnant.

Spencer tells Trina and Josslyn that Esme called him Spence, which she hasn’t called him since this past New Year’s when she washed up on the deck of the Haunted Star. And it’s just her attitude. She’s different. The things she’s saying are a lot sharper. Josslyn asks why he didn’t tell them sooner, and he says he’s telling them right now. Everything has happened very quickly. After Ava pressed charges against Esme for breaking and entering into Windymere he thought that was going to be the solution to their problems, that Esme would go to prison. But she got six months probation, which means Ace can still be living with her. There are a million reasons for him to hate his father, but he knows that Nikolas is going to do everything in his power to protect Ace. If Esme does have her memories back, there’s no telling how she’ll use his little brother as a pawn. They all know what the old Esme is capable of. Trina says she just wishes he’d said something the second he suspected it, and Josslyn asks what they’re supposed to do now. Do they talk to the DA and ask him to prosecute Esme on the original charges? Trina says, the reason he dropped the charges on drugging her and making that awful revenge porn of Josslyn and Cam was because Esme claimed not to remember, and it would be too difficult of a conviction. But if she has her memory back now… Spencer says, there’s no way for them to know for certain. And she’s not going to admit to it. They do need proof, because if this goes to trial and Esme is somehow able to convince a jury she’s innocent, then that’s it. They get one shot at this. Josslyn says she’s been waiting for the real Esme to show herself. She’ll get them proof. The two of them just need to focus on going to Paris. Do not let Esme take that away from them. Spencer says, but what if this goes to trial? and she says, then they both fly back. Trina thanks her, and Spencer says, please be careful. Because Esme’s not going to give up Ace lying down. She’s planning something. Josslyn says, like what? and he says he doesn’t know, but nothing good.

Esme tells Doc, going to the PCPD would be useless. Despite the fact Nikolas had never met Ace before he took him, it doesn’t matter. he’s still Ace’s father. Spencer has made that perfectly clear. She’s powerless. Doc says, she’s right. There may not be much the authorities can do, but that doesn’t mean she’s alone. He and Laura have done everything they can to support her. Why not come to them? She says, Nikolas is Laura’s son and Spencer is her grandson. Why would Laura side with her over them, and even if she did, would it really make a difference? Nikolas disappeared on her for months. She couldn’t track him down then, and she can’t track him down now. He says he wouldn’t underestimate what Laura is willing to do for her family.

Laura says, so Heather wants Esme to go to prison, and Heather says, it’s the only way she can look out for her little girl. She tried to get Esme to leave town, but she completely refused. She said it was about Ace, but she can tell Esme is hellbent on revenge. Laura says, revenge against who? and Heather says, take her pick. Any number of people who have wronged her, but if she was to speculate, she’s pretty certain Spencer and Trina are at the top of Esme’s hit list.

Kristina says, she’s usually the one with impulse control issues, and Molly says she knows. She’s being pushy and totally out of control. Kristina says, it’s okay. She knows where this comes from. Molly really wants to be a mom. Molly says, and see TJ be a dad. Has she thanked Kristina enough for doing this? Kristina says, she has. She’s beyond happy. Her phone dings, and Kristina says, there it is. One sec. This might be work. She sees a text from Blaze: Thinking of you. Hope you’re having a great day! Kristina texts back: It just got a lot better. Call u later? She sees Molly looking at her and says, what? Molly asks who the text is from.

Maxie says, that’s a very generous offer, but Cody gave James these boots as a gift. They’re his. James says he’s heard her talk about money. Sometimes she doesn’t think he’s listening, but he is. Maxie says, he shouldn’t be listening in on her conversations, and Felicia says, money is a grownup problem. He has better things to think about. He says, like horses? and Maxie says, yes, like horses, hugging him.

Spinelli says, Maxie is too trusting. She has this bad habit of always seeing the best in people, whether they merit it or not. Then she ends up getting hurt. She deserves better. Cody asks if he’s jealous. Is that what this is about? He likes Maxie, yes. The same way he likes Mac and Felicia. The same way he likes Georgie or James or little Bailey Lou. They’re almost like family to him, but he’s not Spinelli’s competition. If Spinelli wants to date Maxie, he’s not standing in Spinelli’s way.

Curtis says he’s got to brag just a little bit more. Trina getting into the Sorbonne is a huge accomplishment. Trina thanks him, and he says, she’s a remarkable young woman and she deserves to be celebrated. She hugs him.

Heather says she knows Esme better than anybody, but Laura says, Heather has known Esme less than a year, right? And during that time, Esme didn’t even remember who she was. Heather says, but she does now. It’s a miracle really. She’s seen the real Esme and Esme is just like her. But unfortunately, she’s just like her father too. Sometimes, she is too stubborn for her own good. Esme refused to take her advice about this. Since she’s locked up in here, she needs Laura. Please, for the sake of their shared grandson, will Laura help her?

Trina hugs Ava and thanks her so much for everything. The list of the small art galleries in Paris, she’s honestly going to try and see every single last one. She just hopes they’ll put up with her communication through the translator app. Ava says, a lot of people in Paris speak English. Don’t assume though. Try to say a few words in French and they’ll be much more receptive. Trina says she’ll remember that, and Ava says she just wants Trina to have the most fabulous time. Trina says she wouldn’t have gotten into the Sorbonne if it wasn’t for her internship at Ava’s gallery, but Ava says she thinks having The Chuck on Trina’s resumé made it more impressive. Trina says she’s not talking about prestige. She’s talking about the encouragement and support Ava gave her. Ava taught her to trust her instinct regarding art and to be more confident about speaking her mind. Ava says, Trina is giving her too much credit, and Trina says, then they can agree to disagree.

Spencer thanks Portia for including him in the party, but she says, the party was actually Curtis’s idea. He says he wants her to know how important Trina’s happiness is to him, and she says she doesn’t really doubt his feelings for Trina. It’s just that he’s no stranger to trouble and she doesn’t want trouble finding Trina, here or in Paris.

Esme tells Doc that coming to work wasn’t her best idea. She can’t really focus, and she doesn’t want to break down here, so… Doc says he doesn’t think Alexis would mind if they borrowed her office for a few minutes. Please sit down with him. Esme sits, and he asks what he has to do to convince her that there are people here who want to help her. She says she doesn’t think anyone wants to help Ryan Chamberlain and Heather Webber’s daughter, and that’s always who she’ll be. He says, yes, but she’s also Ace’s mother, and she says, what if she never sees her son again? He says he and Laura will do everything in their power to bring him back to her. She’s a good mother. She says, who’s done terrible things, or so she’s told, and he says, we can’t change our past, but we can try to do better going forward. She says, what if we don’t know how? and he says, we ask for help. She says she doesn’t think it’s that easy, and he says, granted, letting people in, showing who you really are, is never easy, but it can change your life. Would she like to change?

Spinelli says, his romantic feelings for Maxie ended years ago, and Cody says, really? Because the look on his face whenever she’s in the room says otherwise. Is he worried it’s been too long to get her back? If his romance game is a little off, Cody can give him some pointers. Spinelli says, never, and Cody says, if Spinelli changes his mind, let him know. Some people say he’s charming. James runs out and asks if Cody called the store. Cody says, sure did. It’s all taken care of. They’re going to swap out those boots for ones that fit. James asks if Cody can stay a while, and Cody says, sure. Why not? James says, come to his room and pick out a game they can play, grabbing Cody’s hand and dragging him inside.

Cody runs through the living room with James, and says, they’re going to get a game. Maxie tells Felicia that she’s upset that James knows she’s worried about money. What kind of parent is she that her kid thinks he has to take care of her? Felicia says she thinks James’s generosity is a beautiful thing. He gets it from his mom. Spinelli comes back in and asks if everything is okay. Maxie says she just needs a minute and leaves the room. Felicia asks if Spinelli is done giving Cody a hard time, and he says he thought she didn’t trust him either. She says she had her doubts, but she was wrong about Cody. He should give Cody a chance.

Kristina says, it was the weekend bartender at Charlie’s. Juggling schedules is one of her many jobs there. Molly says, the way she was smiling, she thought the text was from someone Kristina liked. She says she does like him, but not like that. He’s a great guy. He’s solid and kind and has a really great work ethic. He’s only working at Charlie’s part-time because he has another fulltime job. He’s in training; he’s a competitive athlete. She was smiling because he’s covering a shift for her this weekend. Molly says, she’s close with the staff at Charlie’s, isn’t she? and Kristina says she is. They all share in the same insanity there. Five of them went out last weekend and they had such a great time. Molly says, being pregnant is going to cause such a huge disruption to Kristina’s life. She knew that already and it’s hitting her all over again. Kristina says, hopefully not that huge. Not until the second trimester, right? The sooner they know, the sooner they can plan things and figure it out. Molly says, does that mean… and Kristina suggests they find out if she’s pregnant.

Portia says she’s busted, she knows, and wipes her eyes. Trina says, no tears. If Portia cries, she’s going to cry. Portia says she’s sorry. She really can’t help it. Her little girl is growing up. She’s headed to Paris. Trina says, it’s only going to be four months, and Portia says she knows and she’s going to be okay. She wants Trina to have so much fun and all the experiences she can possibly have. She’s in awe of Trina. She’s in awe of Trina’s strength, her beauty, her wisdom… She’s going to miss Trina. Trina says she loves Portia, and they hug. Portia says she loves Trina too.

James and Cody play Connect Four and Cody says, James is too good at this. He thinks he’s been hustled. James asks what that means, and Cody says, like when you ask someone to play a game when you already know you’re going to win. James says, but he hasn’t won yet, and Cody says, that’s a very good point. He still has a shot. Felicia tells James to show Cody how it’s done, and tells Spinelli that Cody is really good with James, doesn’t he think?

Molly and Kristina sit on the sofa, waiting, when a timer goes off. Kristina asks if Molly is ready, and Molly says, is she? Kristina says, as she’ll ever be. Should they… Molly says she can’t look. Can Kristina do it? Kristina picks up the test, and Molly says, Kristina was right. It’s too early. They’ll take another test next week. Kristina says, they don’t need to take another test, and Molly says, she means… Kristina says she’s pregnant, and they hug.

Laura asks what Heather wants her to do, and Heather says she’s really worried that Esme is going to get herself in much worse trouble if she goes after Spencer and Trina. She needs to save her daughter from herself. Please, find Esme. Find her daughter and stop her before she does something horrible.

Esme tells Doc that she does want to change. Will he help her? He says, all she had to do was ask, and she gets up. She paces as she talks and says, all she wants to do is be a good mother to Ace and raise him in peace, instead of having to constantly explain the past and apologize. She realizes people find her responsible for people getting hurt, but she has to focus on the future, on her son and getting him back and doing whatever it takes – she picks up a sculpture from the bookcase – to keep him with her. She whacks Doc over the head with the sculpture, and he falls out of the chair onto the floor. She says, oh, Uncle Kevin, I’m not falling for that. You can save your pity for Spencer and Trina.

Curtis says, before the meal is served, he’d like to propose a toast. To Trina and Spencer, much love and best wishes on your exciting new adventure. Everyone raises their glasses and toasts to Trina and Spencer. Spencer tells Trina that he’s very excited to put the past behind them. And he’s really, really looking forward to their future. He kisses her.

Tomorrow, Robert asks if Diane is offended that he might win; Brick asks, what’s the mission, should he choose to accept; Laura says, Dante and Chase have to arrest Esme before she does something terrible; and Alexis asks if Sonny knows something she doesn’t know.

The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills

I literally force myself to put on Bravo. Another beautiful vacation wasted on (for the most part) women who don’t appreciate or deserve it.

Everyone packs for Barcelona. Sutton wonders if she should take a separate suitcase for shoes and handbags. She tells Avi that she’ll do her underpinnings and she’s done. I only include that because I’ve never heard anyone use the word underpinnings before. She tells Avi that she’s taking Merce with her. In Sutton’s interview, she says, Merce Cunningham Studio is the best in the dance world. She went there when she first came to NYC. She tells Avi that she has to pack Merce’s ashes, and Avi says, this is against his religion. In her interview, she says she’s had his ashes for 12 years. She wanted to release them in a significant way and make the trip meaningful. Avi tells her to make sure they don’t blow back in her face, and I’m reminded of Sonja Morgan’s dog on OG RHONY.

The women meet at the airport, and in Crystal’s interview, she says she thinks Spain is a good restart. There’s something about sangria. In Erika’s interview, she says, the trip is starting on a good note. No one is killing each other at LAX. So far, so good. In Garcelle’s interview, she says she’s never been Spain, but always wanted to go. She’s looking forward to the food, the culture, the men, and the life. On the plane, Dorit puts on Chanel PJs and Crystal says, they cost more than her wedding dress. The text says that Crystal’s PJs were $8.99. Good for her. The women bring a million pieces of luggage, but no judgement here. I’m the worst. I go away for a weekend, and it looks like I’m going for a month. But on this Kyle and I agree – you don’t know what you’re going to need until you get there. Suddenly, we’re in Barcelona and on a luxury bus. Sutton says, they’re going to draw for rooms. Good thing Ramona isn’t there. In Sutton’s interview, she says, Sitges (a town nearby) is where the Merce Cunningham Dance Company first performed in Europe. How amazing is that? She tells the group that they’re going to play a game and there’s a prize for the winner. The game is called All of a Sutton. Crystal says, we’ll play a game about me and call it me, and Sutton asks, what is the name of one of her cats? Erika says, Prints, which is correct. Sutton asks, what was her first job in NYC? and Kyle says, stripper, but Garcelle says, that’s Erika. Erika says, nothing has changed, and Sutton says she was a nanny. She asks what her father’s name is, and Crystal says, Mr. Sutton. Kyle says, John, and there are questions about her kids and her cars. Erika is the winner, and in her interview, Garcelle says she’s Sutton’s bestie, but she can’t know everything. In Erika’s interview, she says she knew every answer. Who’s Sutton’s best friend? Sutton presents Erika with a tiara from her store.

No big shock, the house is beyond amazing. They’re welcomed with Sangria and host Zoë tells them that the house was built in the 14^th century by one of the most famous wine producing families in Spain. She warns them that it’s haunted, and Erika says she knew it. She felt it. In Erika’s interview, she says she has the ability to smell different spirits. Dorit goes, waaah! and in Annemarie’s interview, she says, they all know who goes first in the horror movies. In Garcelle’s interview, she says, since it’s between her and Annemarie, she hopes it’s Annemarie. Okay, that’s actually pretty funny. Zoë says, the ghosts are little people and super friendly. In Kyle’s interview, she wonders what Zoë is talking about. Aliens? Erika wonders if it’s garden gnomes, and tells the women, just embrace it. Zoë says, they’ll be serving cocktails and tapas, and Garcelle says she wants the least haunted room. Another no surprise, all of the rooms are gorgeous and they’re more like suites. In her interview, Erika says she doesn’t need ghosts or little people in her life. She’s on medication and trying hard to remain stable. Erika messes with the ceiling access to the attic, and in her interview, Kyle says, don’t open vents and don’t go to the attic or basement. Everyone knows that. A camera guy drops something and scares the hell out of Dorit. In her interview, Garcelle says she’s never traveled with glam before. She’s got to keep up with these bitches. The bar in Dorit’s closet falls, probably because it’s not used to 1000 pounds hanging from it, and in her interview, she says, Chanel does not belong on the floor. As Kyle unpacks, Dorit critiques her wardrobe, and in Dorit’s interview, she says she doesn’t know this Kyle. She gets that Kyle wants to show off her body, but what was she thinking when she was packing? Is she looking for her next husband in Spain?

There’s a self-serve bar outside, and live music. In Annemarie’s interview, she says, there are doors in the house that look like they shouldn’t be opened, and in Garcelle’s interview, she says she doesn’t play with that sh*t. She’s Haitian, and where she’s from, there’s voodoo and witchcraft. She’s heard stories like a body turning into a goat at an open casket funeral and doesn’t want any part of it. We see that Erika’s new tiara says C’est moi on it, and she wears it to dinner. Chef Storm introduces himself, and in her interview, Garcelle says, Chef Storm can feel free to rain all over her. She tells Erika that they can tag team him, and Erika says she doesn’t even mind being second. In Erika’s interview, she says, things instantly got better in the place, and in Garcelle’s interview, she says, he can cook, he has an accent, we’re in Spain. Olé.

They go inside to a table set with beautiful rustic décor, and Sutton says she brought a special guest. She wants to introduce Merce Cunningham, world renowned choreographer. In Garcelle’s interview, she says, he meant so much and he’s in a Ziploc bag. Put her in a Berkin, not a Ziploc. Sutton says, Twyla Tharp (one of my favorites) studied under him, and in Erika’s interview, she says, Merce Cunningham was a legend. She felt like a loser not knowing who he was. She got checked by Mikey asking what’s wrong with her. Sutton says, they had a special relationship, and in her interview, she says, they had a real bond. She worked for him as a studio manager, and he liked her as a dancer and he liked her work ethic. We see photos of Sutton as a dancer and it’s a surprise to me. She says, he was such a unique person, and didn’t mind her quirkiness. He was one of the most important men in her life. She tells the women, when her father died, he was the first one to call her. They got super close. The tapas begins, and they check to see if the chef is wearing a wedding ring. In Crystal’s interview, she says, all the women are like, pay attention to me! I like your food! There are foodgasms all around, but since we’re not allowed to have fun, Annemarie says, there’s an elephant in the room and she needs to get something off her chest. Last weekend a lot of things were said and she apologizes for her part. She talked to Sutton and hopes their in a better place. Sutton says she was fine with the esophagus stuff. (At this point, Sutton’s small esophagus is right up there with Munchausen, Pantygate, and Puppygate.) What she has a problem with is Annemarie saying she’s lonely and insecure. We flash back to Annemarie saying she’ll wake up to her amazing husband, amazing kids, and amazing life. Thank God she’s not lonely and insecure. Sutton says, there are three divorcees at the table, and she was lonelier during her marriage. Either he was traveling or asleep because he worked so much. Annemarie shouldn’t use the word lonely. Annemarie says, she owns that, which has become meaningless since circa LisaR. Several of them were angry, things were said, and she’s sorry for anybody else her words affected. In Garcelle’s interview, she says, so if you’re single, you’re lonely and insecure? She’s single too. Is Annemarie implying that you’re lonely and desperate if you don’t have a man? If Annemarie has an apology for her, don’t apologize.

Crystal asks if Annemarie is calling her insecure, and Annemarie says, they’re getting to her. She wants to talk about the Crystal situation and tells the women that she and Crystal met at a holiday party prior to her being on the show. The first thing Crystal said about the women is that they weren’t intelligent, nobody was educated, and they were shallow. Crystal says, that’s ridiculous, and Garcelle says, they’re all educated. In Dorit’s interview, she says, Crystal is nowhere near as educated as they are. When she was a child bride, busy getting married at 12, they were busy graduating college, building businesses, and doing things to educate themselves. Crystal tells them that she wouldn’t say that stuff to someone she just met, and she doesn’t feel that way. We flash back to Crystal’s interview where she said, the women are savvy, but clearly not educated. She tells them that she didn’t say that, and in Garcelle’s interview, she says, Crystal has a history of thinking they’re less smart than she is. We flash back to a whole bunch of stupid stuff, including the violated debacle, and Garcelle says, she thinks Crystal believes that some of them are not as astute as she is. Astute. There’s a word for her. Annemarie says, Crystal told her that they were fake socialites, and she was the only true socialite in the group. In Erika’s interview, she wonders if this is a Northeast/Southeast thing and are they doing cotillion. In Dorit’s interview, she says she feels Crystal could have said that. It’s her excuse for not being interesting; because my intellect is too high. No, you’re boring. Crystal tells them that she never said she was a socialite. She did say she was very social. In Annemarie’s interview, she says, when she and Crystal first met, she thought Crystal was crazy telling her this information. Now that she’s getting to know Crystal better, she’d say it’s on brand.  She says, Crystal needs to think she’s better than the rest of them, and Crystal says, they’ve met six times. Give her an example of how she thinks she’s better. Annemarie says, right now because she’s not being honest. In Kyle’s interview, she says, obviously, something about Annemarie provokes Crystal. Crystal is usually reserved with her thoughts and feelings. She’s never seen Crystal respond like this, and thinks Annemarie and Crystal need to talk alone, so she doesn’t have to hear it. In Crystal’s interview, she says, Annemarie said she wants to bring lightness and fun, but she’s antagonistic, combative, and dismissive. Annemarie tells Crystal that she’s acting like a hormonal teenager. She wants to thank Crystal for giving Crystal something to talk about and making Crystal’s ass relevant. (That makes zero sense, but go on.) In Annemarie’s interview, she says she’s sorry she triggers Crystal, and that Crystal finds her life interesting. Crystal has nothing to talk about except her. Dorit suddenly becomes the voice of reason and says, they’ve been up a long time, and she thinks they should put a pin in it. Annemarie says, don’t take her kindness for weakness, and Crystal says, she’s not kind. Annemarie says she’s always kind, and in Sutton’s interview, she says, it was perfection. Now let’s ruin it by saying Crystal hates them because they’re stupid and vapid. That’s not how she thought this was going to work. They go to bed, and Garcelle asks, what the hell happened?

Just a couple of things. I think what Annemarie does is give them a grain of truth, but then she embellishes. IMO to the point where she goes from believable to not so believable. Like maybe Crystal did say that about them being uneducated, although I don’t think she was necessarily talking about book learning. She probably meant ignorant. But then Annemarie has to add that thing about being a socialite. Nope. Not buying that one. Crystal has never said she was a socialite, and I don’t think I’ve ever heard any of the others say they were either. No doubt Sutton was, but I don’t remember her even talking about it. And Crystal has nothing to talk about? She’s married to the Brave Little Toaster guy and her brother is a huge pop star in China. And that’s just two things. I think Annemarie is trying to make her own ass relevant. And kind? Far, far from it. She’s a bully who’s moved on from Sutton to Crystal. So far, Annemarie’s track record shows she’s the uneducated one who embellishes the truth. And don’t even get me started on what Dorit said in her interview about Crystal. It’s already all over the place online.  

In Garcelle’s interview, she says, it’s 1 am and she’s scared to go to Sutton’s room, but she’s going anyway. She knows there’s a room with a crib and she doesn’t want to see it. She doesn’t know who’s in the crib and she doesn’t want to. She tells Sutton that she doesn’t want to sleep with ashes staring her in the face, but she wants snacks. In her interview, Garcelle says, after Sutton talking all night in Vegas, here she is, sleeping with her again. In the morning, Sutton visits Crystal and asks how she’s feeling. Crystal says, Annemarie is a lot. She doesn’t think Annemarie listens. Sutton says, Annemarie called her a liar to the whole group, but Crystal says she doesn’t think anyone believes her. Erika asks if Dorit thinks Crystal called them shallow, and Dorit says she doesn’t think Annemarie is flat out making it up. In Erika’s interview, she says she thinks there’s a ring of truth. She doesn’t think Annemarie pulled it out of nowhere. She tells Dorit, if they’re so uneducated and shallow, why be here? Sutton asks why Crystal is letting Annemarie off the hook, but Crystal says Sutton needs someone to tell her that it wasn’t said to feel better. She doesn’t. In Sutton’s interview, she says, she and Crystal have had some challenging times, and we flash back to that. She thinks with some friendships, you have to take a deep dive to come up fresh. They’ve both come into a fresh air spot where they like each other’s company. She wants Annemarie and Crystal to nip this in the bud and build a better friendship. Sutton tells Crystal to stick up for herself, but Crystal says she’s treading lightly. Sutton says, Crystal needs to tell her.

Erika says she has happy news to share. Two decisions have been handed down by the district court of appeal regarding the earrings. The court wants the trustee to prove the earrings were paid for with client money. Remember when she said the story isn’t over? What she said was going to happen is happening. Don’t rush to judgment. They still have a fight, but a win is a win, and the court said, hold on. In Kyle’s interview, she says she thinks Erika feels vindicated. So many doubted her, and Erika told them, give her a minute. In Garcelle’s interview, she says she wishes Erika would let the earrings go and give back to the victims, even though she’s not guilty. You need good karma. Sutton suggests that maybe when Erika is so loud, they can’t hear, and in Erika’s interview, she says she can’t control people’s reactions, but she expected more. She doesn’t need to have them throw their arms around her, but she needs acknowledgment that what she said would happen is happening. They leave for a trek to an old church in Sitges, and Sutton says, it’s like herding cats here. In her interview, Erika says she’s disappointed at the lack of passion for her favorable ruling, when they were so passionate last year. Therapy, therapy, therapy. They take two cars on a long, scary, winding road, and suddenly Crystal says she needs to get out of the car. She’s going to be carsick. They stop and she gets out. Crystal shows them her hands; they’re swollen, and her veins are popping out. Garcelle runs over to Annemarie and asks what it means. Annemarie looks at Crystal’s hands and says, they are big. Holy crap. Is she sure she’s even a nurse? In Kyle’s interview, she says, the universe works in mysterious ways. Yesterday, Crystal and Annemarie were at each other’s throats. Now Crystal is at Annemarie’s mercy. Kyle tells them that she’s calling 9-1-1.

Next time, lots of shopping; Sutton apologizes to Kyle; Sutton says she’s sorry she wasn’t a better friend to Kyle; Garcelle tries to clear the air with Dorit; and Sutton breaks down about her dad.

☔️ Baby, the Rain Must Fall…

Make a return trip tomorrow for soap, tea, and tidbits, since Southern Charm is thankfully over. Until then, stay safe, stay using your inside voice on public transport, and stay trying to do better going forward since you can’t change the past.