Category Archives: film

Jan8

January 8, 2016 — GH Wraps Up the New Year & 8 Who Are Hateful

Posted on by
Standard

What I Watched Today

(random, rambling thoughts on today’s TV)

 

While I don’t normally discuss movies here, I saw The Hateful Eight yesterday. If you love Quentin Tarantino films, you’ll love this one too. The casting is superb, the script and acting are great, and the cinematography is top-notch, although I didn’t see the special 70mm showing. Kurt Russell is bounty hunter John “The Hangman” Ruth, taking his prisoner, Daisy Domergue (Jennifer Jason Leigh) to Red Rock to hang. While en route, he meets Major Marquis Warren (Samuel L. Jackson, whose turn it is to shine here) along with some other characters. They all end up being stranded at the remote Minnie’s Haberdashery during a blizzard, where much of the action takes place in one room. As with all of Tarantino’s efforts, this is a wonderful ensemble piece. This time, it’s also a bit of a mystery, figuring out which character is the bad guy – or is it all of them?

Since not much went on TV-wise this week, here’s some GH recaps and I’ll see you on Sunday.

General Hospital — Wednesday

Jason shows up at Sam’s apartment. She asks if he was looking for her, and he says he was looking for a place to live, but when he realized it was her place, he figured he’d say hello.

Jake is with Elizabeth at the hospital. She tells him not to talk to “that guy,” meaning Franco. Franco is on the phone with Nina, who is celebrating at Crimson. She says she can’t wait to see Julian’s face when he sees that they’ve saved the magazine. I can’t wait to see his face when he realizes he has no tax write off.

Alexis tells Julian that Sam should stay with them. Julian says one thing he’s learned from his own kids is to not give them help they haven’t asked for. Hear, hear.

Jordan makes plans to meet someone at Kelly’s. She’s there with Anna. Anna asks her if she has a date. Jordan says it’s a second date. Anna asks with whom, and she says she’s calling him “no expectations” for now. They talk about Robin, and Anna says she should have been savvier and realized Robin really needed her.

Patrick and Robin have taken Emma out of school early. She asks if she’s in trouble, and they tell her no, but they have some exciting news. They’re moving to California.

Franco asks Jake if he’d like to color. Jake says that his mom told him not to talk to Franco. A police officer approaches Elizabeth and wants to talk to her in private. Franco sits with Jake and tells him not to let any of the other patients see him using the good crayons.

Sam tells Jason that technically, it’s his apartment, and she wasn’t trying to sell it out from underneath him. He asks if there have been any good offers and Sam tells him about Paul (although she doesn’t know it was Paul who made the offer). Jason asks her to show him around.

Emma is worried about moving and Robin says it will be an adventure. Emma says she’ll miss her friends. Robin says she will too, but their friends will only be a plane ride away. That’s right, it’s just a hop, skip and a jump from New York to California. And so affordable.

Dr. Andre comes into Kelly’s and talks to Anna. He says he hasn’t seen her on his schedule. She says she might have something to report about Carrrlos soon, but since they keep running into each other, she’ll let him know when it happens. She starts to introduce him to Jordan, but she doesn’t have to, since he’s Jordan’s date.

The new magazines come in. Dillon opens the box and says, “Oh no!” Maxie looks in the box and makes a shocked face.

Olivia comes by Julian and Alexis’s place with a gift. It’s a portrait of Olivia, Leo & Julian. Not too awkward. Alexis is not looking too thrilled and understandably so. There’s some discussion of where to put it, but Julian gets a phone call and has to leave.

Dillon is on the phone saying it’s not an artistic choice, but a huge mistake. All the magazines have green dripping down every page. Dillon says the printer said that’s what they received and the file must have been corrupted. Nina wants them to reprint a million copies, but there’s no money for that. Nina says they’ll have to ask Julian to increase the budget.

Robin calls Anna and asks her to come over.

The cop tells Elizabeth they could have someone come by and check on them later, but she and “her husband” have nothing to worry about. I’m guessing they had nothing to worry about to begin with and not surprised that Elizabeth doesn’t correct the officer about her “husband.”

Sam trips and Jason catches her. This seems to be an ongoing thing. He gathers her into his arms and they look at each other longingly. It actually looks more awkward than that though. It’s like he almost lost his grip on her for a second and they had to regroup the shot.

Alexis says Julian won’t be back for a while and he needs to weigh in on where they put the portrait. Olivia says she gets the message, so she’ll take her picture and go. Alexis says no, she loves the picture and to leave it. When Alexis puts her hand on the frame, Olivia notices her engagement ring.

Julian gets to the office and says there’s nothing they can do about the magazine. They’ll have to just eat it. How much you want to bet that it will be a sensation as is?

Franco is having a good time with Jake, because Roger Howarth is great with kids. Elizabeth interrupts because she ruins every good time.

Sam says the falling and catching thing happened with them a lot. Jason says he might not remember the first time, but he’ll remember this one. Jason tells her about meeting Robin and that he recognized her almost immediately. Sam says maybe it’s from pictures, but Jake says he remembered her when he’d broken in to kill Sam. He says that’s what stopped him. Sam suggests Robin is his guardian angel. He says Robin made him rethink how he feels about his past, and that she told him she had faith in his future. Jason says after she left, he could see her on the bridge from long ago, saying the same thing to him.

He adds that he’s had a memory about Sam.

Anna arrives at Robin and Patrick’s place. Robin tells her about talking to Obrecht. She says the job is less appealing because of the salary cut. Anna says she can get a job elsewhere. Robin says she already has, but it’s in Berkley. She tells Anna they’re moving to California.

Jordan and Andre make maybe not small, but medium talk. They talk about their exes. Jordan says she’s a little rusty with the dating scene. They complement each other on their New Year’s Eve dance moves.

Robin says she practically grew up in the hospital and it’s hard for her to be objective there. Berkley will give her a fresh start and she’ll be going there as an adult. She says it’s a good way to start over and get away from the drama of the past few years. She says she and Emma will be able to do all the things she’s been dreaming about.

Sam asks if Jason wants to tell her about his memory of her. He tells her about the necklace she was wearing when they ran into each other in the park. He says he thinks he remembers putting it on her, but isn’t sure if it’s a real memory. Sam says it is. He says that makes two memories in a week. Sam says that’s good, but Jason says he doesn’t want to lose who he is now. Sam says he’s not that much different – honest, loyal and stubborn. She says he’s also a good cook, but no pressure. Sam says she wants him to be whole, whatever that means to him.

Franco tries talking to Elizabeth, but she’s not having any. He says he thought they’d had a breakthrough at the gala and he’d like them to be friends.

Alexis confirms her and Julian’s engagement. Olivia says she’s happy for them, but weirded out because Julian didn’t tell her. When has he had time?

Julian says one missed issue isn’t going to make or break him, and he’ll write it off. He tells them better luck next time. He leaves and Maxie says the end of Crimson means the end of her career in fashion. Dillon says Julian said there would be a next time. Maxie says the next time they see Julian, it will be when he fires them. Nina is like, hold on a minute, we’re going to be a success with green Crimson. What did I say? I ain’t been watching this 50 years for nothin’.

Maxie is aghast that Nina would want to put it on the newsstand. Nina says they will look innovative, calling attention to an overharvested and overpopulated world. Maxie is like, this will never work. She surprises me. I would have expected more creative thinking from her, and the green thing makes total sense.

Alexis says she and Julian just wanted a little privacy for a while. Olivia says since she’s the mother of Julian’s child, he should have told her. She says that Julian had said that she would always be a part of the family. So I guess that means he should sit around alone for the rest of his life?

Jason says that Sam should keep the apartment. She says it’s the one place she calls home. Jason asks if she’d like to go for coffee.

Elizabeth says that she and Franco aren’t friends now and they never will be. Franco quotes Star Wars because he’s such a nut. He says he’s sorry about kidnapping Jake, but that was another life and he’d never inflict harm on another person again. (Okay, at least now I’m up to speed. I missed all of that during a time period when I wasn’t watching.) She says they still have nothing in common. He says more than she thinks, and if she ever needs a friend, he’s there.

Anna says Robin is a grown woman and has to do what’s right for her family. Robin says Anna is her family too, and she knows Anna misses Duke. Anna says it’s part of life, and you eventually get to a point where you cherish the memories instead of just grieving. Robin says she doesn’t want to leave Anna alone. Anna says she’s not alone, she’ll be fine, and Robin needs to be the woman Anna knows she can be. Robin asks her to come with them.

Maxie says once they go through with the plan, it’s like pushing a nuclear button. Dillon and Nina are like, come on, roll with it, and she says she’s in.

Alexis says Olivia will always be part of the family, and she would never interfere with that. Julian comes in and says he likes the portrait above the fireplace. Olivia says congratulations and enjoy the engagement, and leaves. First of all, she really has no business being annoyed, and secondly, over the fireplace? Really? When you’re marrying someone else?

Franco looks at Jake’s drawings which are very dark, both in color and subject matter.

Jordan and Andre both say that lunch was fun, but not long enough. They agree to a third date and kiss. Dammit! I wanted him with Anna.

Robin tells Anna to think about it. Anna says there’s nothing she would love more than to live near them, but she has work in Port Charles to do now. Robin says there won’t always be work and Anna says of course, and she’ll think about relocating when it’s done, but in the meantime, she’ll visit.

Patrick says they have temporary housing set up and they’re leaving tomorrow. Anna says they can’t. She wants to throw them a going-away party, and there’s also the wedding. (Another light bulb for me. I guess they’d gotten a divorce at some point.) Patrick says they can do that in California, but Emma says no way, not as long as she’s Emma Scorpio Drake.

Tomorrow, it looks like we’re having a wedding.

General Hospital – Thursday

Robin, Emma and Anna are getting ready for the wedding. That was fast. Maxie comes in asking if her assistant wedding planner, meaning Emma, is ready to roll. Sonny is the next to arrive.

Laura sees Tracy at The MetroCourt. She wants to find Luke and asks Tracy if she has any information. Tracy says she has nothing. Laura says it’s nothing important, but she wants him to know Helena Cassadine has been vanquished.

Hayden tells Nicholas he was just served by Michael.

Elizabeth arrives and says she thought it was a going away party, and Emma tells her it’s a wedding too, and that it’s forever this time for her mommy and daddy. The doorbell rings and Elizabeth answers. It’s Jason.

Nicholas says Michael and Alexis are issuing a declaration of war, and that it includes a petition to freeze all of ELQ’s assets. Nicholas says everything hinges on Jason. He has 9% voting stock, which has been under Nicholas’s control. Hayden says that now that Nicholas is being released, the police are going to want a statement.

Tracy wonders if Luke would feel relief or regret. Laura says she knows talking about Luke isn’t Tracy’s favorite subject, but Tracy says she holds no ill will toward him. She says she has fondness for their time together. Laura says it sounds like Tracy has moved on. She says she noticed the chemistry between Tracy and Paul at the gala. Tracy says Paul is a smarmy opportunist who will never darken her door again. Alrighty then.

Elizabeth tells Jason she didn’t realize he would be there. Jason tells Sonny he didn’t realize it was a big event, and wants to leave, but Sonny says he should stay for Robin’s sake. Maxie comes running out to tell Robin she’s ruined everything. She forgot someone to marry them. Mac says he can do it. Maxie says he’s not a minister, but he says he went online in the morning and before his toast was done, he was ordained. That’s actually a little scary.

Robin tells Jason it’s important for him to be there, even though he keeps trying to get out of it. She says it’s the future he imagined for her on the bridge and she wants him to see it. Mac asks if Patrick and Robin are ready to get married.

Tracy says her recent involvement with Paul was a lapse in judgment. Laura says maybe she should follow Luke’s lead and take some time to be with herself and figure out why she keeps trusting people she shouldn’t. Laura says she understands how it is when someone you love disappoints you. Tracy says maybe she’ll take Laura up on her advice. Eat, pray, spend lots of money, I say.

Hayden says she’ll be glad to have Nicholas back home. She says it’s been lonely wandering around Windermere without him, and Spencer has a kick-ass welcome home party planned. Hayden’s phone rings and it’s Tracy. Tracy tells her to make an excuse and get over to the MetroCourt. Hayden tells Nicholas she has some ELQ business to deal with, but she’ll be back soon.

Emma is the flower girl and the only one wearing white. Song part as she, Anna and Robert, and Robin enter.  Zzzzzzz….  Carly comes in with a box. It’s probably not a bomb, but I can hope.

Laura visits Nicholas at the hospital. She says she can’t fathom how he’s involved with Hayden after he tried to have her killed. Laura says the lies and secrets he’s keeping are eating at his soul, and asks him to tell her this will be the end of it. Like I’d even believe him if he did.

Patrick says a bunch of mushy stuff about second and third chances and how much he loves Robin. Elizabeth makes stupid faces at Jason. Robin’s turn for mushy stuff.

Commercial break. I went out today, so I’m watching this online and it’s actually less painful because the breaks are only about 30 seconds.

Robin talks about how her memories started to slip away and now she’s here and how happy she is. Instead of regular vows, they decide to recite them to Emma. This is actually a very cool idea, since this poor kid has been through the ringer and needs some feeling of security. Lots of mushy kid stuff. This is a little sad too, since Kimberly McCullough just had a miscarriage.

Mac gets the rings from Felicia, who snuck in at some point. Patrick and Robin exchange rings in the standard way and Mac says by the power vested in him by the internet, he pronounces them man and wife. They kiss.

Carly says since they’ve had bad luck with wedding cakes at Kelly’s, she brought a going away cake.

Laura tells Nicholas he’s been given a second chance to live and not to blow it. She says he should move forward to being the man she knows he can be. He says he’s not giving up ELQ, and she says she’s not getting involved in that, but it’s time for a fresh start without Hayden.

Tracy meets with Hayden, who tells her that Nicholas got the lawsuit from Michael. Tracy wants to know what Hayden is doing and why it’s taking so long.

Robin thanks Carly for her help. Carly says she owes Robin big time and reminds her of a day when she gave Robin a hard time about leaving Patrick. She says Robin told her that if she knew what Robin was really doing, she would thank her. Carly says Robin saved Jason’s life and she’s grateful. Robin says Carly is good for both Jason and Sonny, and that she never gave Carly enough credit.

Jason congratulates Robin and she thanks him for staying. He tells her that he had a memory about her. He says he doesn’t know much about his past, but he knows she’s important to him. Robin says even if he doesn’t get his memories back, he’ll figure out who he is.  Lots of milling around and congratulations.

Patrick tells Sonny he wishes he could be there when Sonny walks again. Sonny says he’s glad he and Robin are back together and it means a lot to him.

Robin tells Elizabeth she’s made mistakes but it doesn’t mean her dreams can’t come true. She says she knows how much she loves Jason, but life has happiness in store for her no matter what.

Hayden tells Tracy that Nicholas isn’t the most trusting soul and she has to romance him to gain his trust.

Laura reminds Nicholas that Hayden was originally hired by Ric to pretend to be Jason’s wife. She says maybe Hayden has real feelings for him, but maybe it’s just an act, and she doesn’t want him to get his heart broken.

Everyone says their good-bys. Geez, Felicia only had half a line in this episode. She’s turned into an “under five.” Bye, Felicia. Literally.

Anna gives Emma a plane ticket so she can come visit. Elizabeth is dragging her feet leaving

Carly and Sonny tell Jason if he needs anything, to call them. Jason’s phone rings. It’s Nicholas, who asks him to come to the hospital to discuss something.

Elizabeth lies down on the couch and hears a noise outside.

Jason comes to the hospital. He tells Nicholas he figured the next time they saw each other, it would be in a courtroom. Nicholas says he thinks they can fix it so that won’t be necessary.

Tracy says she knows Hayden needs the job with her. She says she thinks she’s the only friend that Hayden has and she knows exactly who Hayden is.

Robin says her good-bys to Sonny and Carly. She tells Sonny he’s made tremendous progress and she knows he’ll continue to improve.

While the bags are being put into the car, Robin says good-by to Anna. She thanks Anna, and Anna says she loves Robin and would do anything for her, and she’s sure it will be the same with Robin and Emma.

Robert tells Robin he loves her and will always be there for her. Anna tells Patrick that she’s grateful he and Robin are back together. She wishes them luck in California. Robin and Patrick flashbacks. I forgot that I was ever they were so young.

Emma breaks into Robin’s reverie. It’s time to go. Patrick asks if they’re ready for a new adventure, and he, Emma and Robin link arms.

Tomorrow, Valerie is in trouble and Nicholas tries to strike a deal with Jason.

General Hospital – Friday

Johnny shows up at the Haunted Star. Lulu asks where he’s been.

Dante interrupts Maxie and Dillon while they’re working on the magazine. Dante says he needs to talk to Dillon immediately about what he and Lulu were up to on New Year’s Eve.

Elizabeth is startled by someone outside. Boo! It’s Laura bringing Jake home.

Tracy says that Hayden has been lying to everyone she knows.

Nicholas tells Jason that they can make an “official arrangement” and he’ll drop the charges.

Dante asks to talk to Dillon outside. Even though Maxie thinks it’s a bad idea, Dillon complies. Dante goes on and on about Dillon and Lulu sleeping together New Year’s Eve and that Dillon had better not hurt Lulu. Maxie comes out after Dante leaves and asks what on earth Dante is talking about.

Johnny gives Lulu flowers. I’d run off with him if I was her. Johnny says it was all he could do not to bust out of the closet and give Dante what for, and that Dante had no business acting like he did nothing wrong and assuming Lulu did.

Nicholas tells Jason about the suit Michael filed. Nicholas says that the case will be caught up in the courts forever, lots of money will be spent, and ELQ will suffer. He tells Jason if he doesn’t participate in the lawsuit, and leaves Nicholas in charge of ELQ, it will color what Nicholas says to the police. Don’t do it, Jason.

Hayden says Tracy has nothing on her. Tracy says she has nothing on Hayden Barnes, but she has something on the person Hayden was before. Tracy shows her something on her cell phone.

Laura says she’s there to drop Jake off. Elizabeth tells him to go upstairs to play and she’ll be up later. Elizabeth tells Laura that Jake has been affected by the change in her relationship with Jason. She says it’s only a matter of time until Jason is with Sam.  Jake listens on the stairs and Elizabeth tells him to beat it. Laura says she thinks Jake could benefit from talking to a psychiatrist. Elizabeth says not everything is in his head, that he saw someone outside on New Year’s Eve.

Hayden tries to take the phone and Tracy snatches it back. Tracy says Hayden has a real trail of scandal. She says it was obvious that Hayden was no garden variety con artist, and she happened up “certain information” to corroborate that. Hayden says Tracy needs her to get ELQ from Nicholas. Funny, Tracy says, since everything leads back to Nicholas.

Nicholas tells Jason that since Hayden was hysterical, it’s up to him what the police believe. Jason says he side-stepped Nicholas, who had started the fight, and that’s how he ended up falling. Nicholas asks who Jason thinks the police are going to believe? Jason doesn’t take the bait. Nicholas says he best reconsider before someone else he loves gets hurt.

Maxie says she was in a car crash once and the slow-motion feeling is the same way she’s felt since Dillon let fly with the DVD about Dante’s cheating. She says that Dante and Lulu aren’t used to screwing up, so they keep obsessing over it and doing stupid things. She says they’re running in circles and need to stand still and figure out what’s going on. She says she told Lulu this, but it would be understandable if things went too far with her and Dillon. Dillon says he wasn’t there on NYE. Maxie says Dante seemed certain, so who was Lulu with? While she takes a call, Dillon makes an exit.

Johnny tells Lulu that Valerie was caught “taking a payment” from a known felon, and he wants to establish a pattern. He’s going to run into her again and act like he’s really interested in her. Lulu says she’ll probably act flattered, but rebuff him. He says it doesn’t matter, by then he’ll have enough evidence. Lulu says the longer he stays there, the longer he risks getting caught. He says he’s all about risk, especially if it’s for a worthy cause. Lulu asks if it’s about helping her or does he have another agenda?

Dante sees Valerie at work. He says she seems upset and she says she’s in big trouble.

Tracy says their agreement was for Hayden to hand over ELQ to her, and she’s giving her 30 days to get the shares back. If not, she’ll give Nicholas proof of who Hayden really is. Hayden asks what satisfaction that will bring, and Tracy says Nicholas will look like an idiot and she’ll eventually end up with the stock anyway. Hayden balks. Tracy makes like she’s going to make a phone call to a Jay (?) Dover and Hayden says she’ll do it.

Jason says it’s good he has a good lawyer. Nicholas says he has a good eyewitness, and reminds Jason of The Floating Rib incident when Jason tossed him over a pool table. Nicholas goads Jason a little, saying Jason can either end up talking to his kids through Plexiglas, or he can take the offer.

Johnny flirts and Lulu says she thought he wasn’t going to do that anymore, adding that when he’s charming, he’s usually up to something. Dillon comes by and Johnny makes himself scarce. Dillon tells Lulu that Dante accused him of sleeping with her New Year’s Eve. He says he knows she wouldn’t pick up a stranger, so where is Johnny?

Laura suggests that maybe it was just a New Year’s Eve drunk looking through the window. She says Jake spent his formative years on Cassadine or Spoon Island or wherever the blip Helena had him, so he’s not exactly normal. She didn’t say it that way, I’m translating. Elizabeth says she should have listened to Laura, and that she continued to lie to Jason while Sam told him the truth. Laura says she’s sorry and hugs Elizabeth, who says she doesn’t deserve Laura’s concern. I agree. Laura says she promises that Elizabeth will come out the other side and things will be better. She tells Elizabeth to call her any time and leaves.

Nicholas asks if Jason wants to be a father to his sons or an embarrassment to his family. Jason asks Nicholas if he really wants to do this to everyone. Jason suddenly changes the subject, asking if he was close to his sister. He says he’s seen pictures of her, but he doesn’t remember everything. He says that Emily must have loved Nicholas, and how did he get from being someone so loved to the person he’s looking at now. Nicholas says this has nothing to do with it, but is clearly shaken. Jason says he’d rather look honestly through Plexiglas than give in to a lie. Nicholas says remember this day when you’re in prison, because that’s where you’re going. Jason gives him the finger (not really) and leaves.

Hayden says she’ll get it together in 30 days. Tracy says if Hayden tries to run away, she’ll hunt her down. Hayden says Tracy has no idea how hard it would be if the truth came out. Tracy says she does and that’s why she knows Hayden will succeed. Hayden leaves and has to catch her breath in the hallway. I’m really glad they’re giving Rebecca Buddig more of a big storyline. I love her in this role.

Maxie notices that Dillon is gone while in the middle of her call. She gathers her stuff up and jets out of Kelly’s, which is apparently her office now.

Dillon tells Lulu he should have called the cops. Lulu tells him Johnny left the morning after Dillon saw him. Dillon asks who Lulu was with New Year’s Eve. Lulu says a harmless drunk had grabbed her and she was fixing her hair and makeup in the stateroom. She says Dante, as usual, jumped to conclusions. Dillon tells her what Dante said, and that he feels the same if she should get hurt by Johnny. She keeps insisting nothing is going on, and he says he’s not so sure. He gets a call and leaves.

Johnny (who must be getting tired of hiding by now) comes out and says she did great.

Valerie says she blew the exam. Dante says that her score isn’t good, but it’s not enough to get her dropped. Valerie says she’ll never get her score high enough to make it a passing percentage. Dante says he’ll help her study and that doesn’t mean he’s coming on to her. She says it doesn’t matter, people will think so. She says it means a lot that he offered to help and she wishes they could be friends, but that’s not possible.

Nicholas tells the police that Jason threw him over the terrace railing. Hayden watches from the doorway looking pretty upset.  Afterward, Nicholas tells Hayden Jason was willing to go to prison rather than compromise. Hayden says it’s unfair to Jason’s family and he should put them before greed and vanity. Nicholas says it’s not greed, Jason just believes he’s right.  Hayden keeps going on about how can he do this to his family, and I’m thinking she’s hoping Nicholas gets a conscience and realizes he’s going to hurt his own family, but that doesn’t happen. She asks what happens now and Nicholas says he and the Quartermaines go to court and Jason goes to prison.

Jason walks into Elizabeth’s house and calls out to her. When she comes downstairs, he asks why she left the door open. She says she didn’t.

Valerie says if Nicholas helps her study, the next thing she knows, she’ll be cooking him dinner and things will escalate. Dante tells Valerie that every time he takes a step forward with Lulu they take two steps back. Valerie tells him he shouldn’t be telling her this and she can’t deal with the yo-yo stuff. I’m in agreement with her there. Whenever things go sour with Lulu, he’s back to Valerie. What a guy. They should both forget about him.

Lulu says Johnny is taking a huge risk staying there. Maxie comes in to prove the point.

Jason says maybe the door just didn’t latch properly. Jason sees a family picture with him in it, smashed on the ground. Are you thinking what I’m thinking? Jake, the Bad Seed.

Dillon sees Tracy, who has decided to go on a trip. She says she’s going to indulge in spa treatments, eat good food, and reprioritize. She says by the time she gets back, she’ll have a whole new outlook.

Nicholas tells Hayden what to tell the police. Nicholas says he takes no pleasure in doing all this, and blah-blah-blah about how he has to do this for the greater good or some baloney. Hayden says there might be a way around it and asks Nicholas to marry her.

On Monday, Jason and Sam get closer, Jake disappears and Maxie threatens to turn Johnny in.

Dec7

December 6,2015 — No Dead, But an Eclectic Night

Posted on by
Standard

What I Watched Today

(random, rambling thoughts on today’s TV)

 

The Real Housewives of Atlanta

When we left the…um…ladies, a fight was brewing between Cynthia and Porsha. We now move to fingers in the face. Porsha makes a weird, aggressive move, putting her foot up on Cynthia’s lounge chair and straddling her. Cynthia responds by kicking Porsha In the stomach. Porsha lunges for Cynthia and is held back by the crew or security or whoever. Kandi, coming back from the bathroom, is just like, whaaat?

In her individual interview, Kim says that she has a low tolerance for foolishness. Her and me both. This might be the wrong show for her with this crowd.

Porsha is squeaky screaming and Kenya says that Porsha can’t control herself, the disagreement always has to escalate to violence. Kenya wants Porsha and her buddy off the boat. Bye, Felicia!

Cynthia calls Peter. She says he’s still her rock. Really? She tells him she needs for him to come home, and he says he will.

Kim is pretty appalled. In her individual interview, she says that the worst part is how disappointed they’re both going to be in themselves after they catch a breath. I doubt Porsha knows that emotion.

Porsha is tucked into her chaise lounge at home, with her court of yes men girlfriends around her. She shows some bruises, but it looks like she got them from the guy who had to tackle her. Maybe Cynthia shouldn’t have kicked her one, but she shouldn’t have come up on Cynthia so aggressively. Especially considering her past. She makes noises about being supportive of Cynthia and “dumbing [herself] down.” I’m quite sure she’s so dumb she doesn’t know what that means.

Porsha starts to get loud and squeaky again. She’s rambling about Peter and what she knows. Come on, she doesn’t know anything everyone else doesn’t already.  Including an audience of millions.

Kim and Phaedra meet at a juice bar. Kim is not too happy that the boat ride turned out the way it did. She says she should have opted out like Phaedra did. She said she was just looking forward to a nice ride with her book and her snack. Ha!

Kenya is telling her friends, as Kandi is telling her staff, about the altercation. Phaedra says she saw bruises and cuts, but again, I don’t think that was from Cynthia. Kim says it’s being analyzed like the JFK assassination.  Kenya’s aunt suggests she get the girls together to smooth things over. I think her aunt is crazy. Phaedra says she told Kim it was a wild bunch.

Peter arrives home. Bleh. I can’t stand him. Cynthia says she keeps thinking of how she could have changed the situation, and Peter keeps saying all the wrong things. Her rock. Peter says Cynthia needs to forget about Porsha and examine how she feels about herself. I’m sure what he really means is to think about him.He says he wants to work things out and they get lovey-dovey. How long this will last, who knows.

Kandi has a doctor’s appointment. She goes to Dr. Jackie from Married to Medicine. Kandi is nearly halfway through the pregnancy. Dr. Jackie listens for the baby’s heartbeat. Todd suddenly has to make a call and Kandi is like, really? It couldn’t wait until after the appointment? Dr. Jackie finds the baby’s heartbeat and they look on the sonogram screen. Todd comes back in and they try to fool him into thinking the umbilical cord is something else. Ha-ha! They can’t tell yet though, if it’s a boy or girl.

Phaedra says that her focus has been on the kids. They seem pretty well adjusted considering Apollo’s fall from grace and back into prison. Phaedra whines about being a single mother, but it doesn’t look like she’s hurting any.

Cynthia calls Kenya. Kenya jokes about Cynthia’s Kung Fu Panda moment. Cynthia says she feels awful. Kenya says she wants to give a brunch to get things back on track. Cynthia thinks maybe it’s too soon. Kenya says the problem with her and Porsha is that they waited too long to address things. She might have a point, but it’s empty-headed Porsha we’re talking about. Kenya says if she was able to get past things with Porsha, Cynthia should be able to. Cynthia says, in thinking about it, she may have overreacted.

Kenya wants to meet with Porsha privately before the brunch. They meet at a little coffee/dessert bar. Porsha asks what’s up. Like she doesn’t know. Oh, wait, it’s Porsha. Maybe she doesn’t. Kenya says they once had their own altercation and what happened on the boat didn’t sit well with anyone. Porsha tries to act like it’s somebody else’s fault and talks about Kenya throwing shade at her friend, Shemia.

Kenya  says Porsha never takes responsibility for her actions. She tries telling Porsha that, considering their history, she could see how Porsha looked like the aggressor. Porsha says she doesn’t trust Kenya and she doesn’t need to justify her actions to anyone. She says she’ll be glad to talk to Cynthia, but it was just one of those things that snowballed. She gets angry that Kenya is telling her the truth, because she’s stupid and vain. She’s about to run from the situation, when Kenya calls a time out and says she should just tell Cynthia they were both wrong. They clink smoothie take-out cups.

Kandi and Kim are first to arrive at the brunch. Everyone else is late. Kim is annoyed and I don’t blame her. Phaedra strolls in, calling it a “unity luncheon.”  Kandi still isn’t sure if Phaedra is being genuine with her. Cynthia is feeling embarrassed and uncomfortable. Kim is like, let’s just say it, and asks Cynthia how it’s going. Kenya and Porsha come in together.

Kenya says she wanted to bring them together because of what happened. Kim says, being new, she doesn’t have a side, but it’s important to have clarity to move forward. Porsha and Cynthia decide to talk privately. Kim says she hopes they come back in one piece. Ha-ha!

Cynthia asks Porsha if she’s okay. Porsha says yes, but emotionally, she’s hurt.

Kenya says her talk with Porsha didn’t go well, and Kandi says Kenya seems to be good at pointing out other people’s flaws, but her own, not so much. Phaedra suggest that Jesus take the wheel , and drive fast. Kenya says she was just trying to be a grown up and help make things right.

Porsha says she’s sincere in wanting to move forward and feels Cynthia is sincere too. They hug it out. When they come back, applause all around.

Next week, Atlanta is in the Miami house! Oh wow, it looks like there will be another strange-men-in-the-house situation. Like there was with the New York Wives, except this looks more serious. And speaking of Miami, are those Wives ever coming back? I noticed they snuck in a Real Housewives of Cheshire on Saturday afternoon. Trial run?

Once Upon a Time

Hook is flashing back to his childhood, where his father wasn’t such a nice guy and he got sold into slavery. Mr. Gold/Rumpelstiltskin has Excalibur.

Dark Emma says the man she loved died in Camelot and all that’s left is the darkside. She and the others are splitting up to find Hook.

Zelena pops in poof! in front of Robin and Regina. She wants to discuss her daughter with her baby daddy, Robin. She says they’ll all be dead soon, so it won’t matter anyway. Two hooded figures come up behind Robin and Regina. At the same time, hooded figures surround the other groups. One walks through Henry.

Rumpel appears out of nowhere and tells them to look at their wrists. They have the mark of Charon, an old guy who runs a ferry to the underworld. Rumpel says the underworld is a worse place than even fire and brimstone. He tells them to use their time wisely, to say good-bye. DUN-DUN-DUNNN!

Regina finds Hook by the water. BTW, his first name is Killian. Regina says he might be the dark one now, but he’s not the same guy he was when they first met. He says she has no idea what kind of man he is. And he doesn’t mean that in a good way.

He flashes back to when Enchanted Forest Regina recruited him to kill her mother. In exchange, she promised to send him to a land with no magic so he could get his revenge on Rumpelstiltskin.

Henry looks through a spell book, hoping for something to counteract the curse they’re under. They decide to gather at Granny’s diner. They leave Dark Emma to continue searching. She tells Regina if she can destroy the dark ones, they’ll all be spared. Dark Emma reminds her of when she said they have to do whatever it takes to get rid of the darkness. Regina says it has to be put into someone, a sacrifice. Dark Emma says it will be herself.

Belle meets Rumpel at the shop. He tells her to go see the world and fulfill her dreams. He tells her to take the car, say good-bye to her father, and start living. She says she knew there was a hero inside him and they say good-bye.

Regina and Dark Emma enter the shop. He tells them to go away. Regina says no way, there are a lot of people in the underworld who would like to see the both of them. She tells Rumpel that Emma wants to take the darkness into herself, which will destroy the darkness – and her. Rumpel gives them Excalibur. For nothing, which is a surprise. Doesn’t magic always come with a price? He says it might not work because the blade chooses who it finds worthy. Regina says, later. She has to help Robin protect the baby from Zelena.

In the old days, Regina and Hook stop at a tavern. Someone yells pirates aren’t welcome. Hook turns to face them.

Robin and Regina come home to find Zelena looking at color swatches to redecorate their house. She says in an hour, they’ll be dead, and she’s moving in. Zelena says last time Regina tried to use the dagger it didn’t work. Regina says that’s because she didn’t believe in herself and says let’s take it outside. They go to the clock tower, and Regina uses the power of the dagger to blow Zelena back to Oz.

Dark Emma goes to the diner and silently says good-bye to her family. A dark figure tells Hook he knows what he needs to do.

Old days Hook reveals himself to his father at the tavern. His father is surprised he’s alive and he says they both cheated death. Hook wants to know why he was sold into servitude. His father says he met a woman who helped him see the error of his ways and wishes he’d known her back in the day. He says he’s sorry. Hook wants to know where she is.

Hook’s father says that she died. Hook says he came there to kill him, but they’ve both suffered enough already. He says he can arrange a letter of transit and transport for his father, but can’t come along. His father asks if he can arrange transport for two because he has another son.

Storybrooke Hook stops Dark Emma from leaving. He says he’s saving her because she made him the man he always wanted to be. She says she’s sorry, but she couldn’t watch another person she loved die. He says now she’ll watch everyone die. She brandishes Excalibur, but sees Henry who takes the sword from her. Poof! in a cloud of red smoke, he turns into Hook. She tells him please, don’t do this, but he says nope, he is, and poof! he disappears in another cloud of red smoke.

Snow finds a note from Dark Emma on the diner jukebox. Belle appears and says Hook has already stopped her and there’s no way to prevent their trip to the underworld.

Everyone appears in a forest, where there are a bunch of dark, hooded figures hanging around, along with Hook. Dark Emma runs out of the forest to join them. Regina says Hook can’t do this and he has to ask himself the same question he did on the night they don’t speak of: what kind of man do you want to be?

Hook’s stepbrother tells his father he doesn’t want to leave. Hook’s father says they’ll be fine and he’ll never leave him. Hook is outside and says that his father is telling his stepbrother the same lie he told him. He kills his father with his hook. The last thing his father says is that he can always change.

A hooded figure says it’s time. Dark Emma tries to stop things and suddenly chokes. The figure says maybe she can’t kill Dark Emma but she can stop her. Dark Emma keeps choking and Hook says enough. He pulls the Excalibur card and black snaky things come out and make the hooded people disappear.

He says the darkness won’t stay in Excalibur much longer and tells Dark Emma to take it from him and let him take on the darkness because her family needs her. She doesn’t want to do it, but he wants to die a hero. She takes the sword. She tells Hook she loves him and then – is she supposed to stab him with it or what? Yes, she is. And she does. Lots of tears. I’d cry too, but it’s all more confusing than anything else.

They all pop back to Storybrooke and voila! everything is cool again. Excalibur turns to dust. Wait, not so cool. Hook just keeled over.

The EMTs (God only knows what they must be thinking) cover Hook’s face over and put him in the ambulance.

Rumpel  is having a drink (what does he need one for?) in the shop. Belle comes in, says Henry told her everything, and gives him a big kiss. (I guess because he handed over Excalibur?) She says she wanted to see the world, but with him. While Belle is sleeping, he puts on his Mission Impossible clothes. He gets a text from Emma, who’s in the shop.

Rumpel is like, this isn’t the diner, you people have to stop just showing up. Emma says the dagger called to her and she knows he has it. She says he must be the dark one. When Hook thought he was destroying the darkness, he was only moving it. Rumpel says things are as they should be now.

Emma tries to throw some magic at him, but he says he has all the magic of all the dark ones who ever lived. Emma says she still has magic and he has to do something for her. Rumpel says why should he? And Emma says she’ll tell Belle who he really is if he doesn’t.

Rumpel opens the door to the underworld for Emma and the others. It’s pretty cool looking. Kind of like a pretty swamp with blue lighting. Here comes that guy in the boat. Don’t they have to answer three questions or something? Or was that just in Monty Python and the Holy Grail?

They get ready to board the boat.

On March 6, the story of Storybrooke takes place in the underworld and the quest to find Hook is on.

No Walking Dead tonight. There’s a marathon of Into the Badlands instead. I definitely give it a thumbs up.

Work Out New York

Just a first impression. Hot trainers with egos the size of the state of Rhode Island, but who are also insecure. I’m in! But, hey, what ever happened to Jackie What’s-her-name and that other workout show? She was pretty interesting.

Bad Words

Another quickie. I had never heard of this film and caught it on HBO today. It was on the TV when I came back from the store (yes, I leave it on for the dogs), and I just didn’t bother changing the channel. I’m glad I didn’t, because this was a terrific film.

In a nutshell, Jason Bateman is a 40-year-old guy who finds a loophole in a national spelling bee contest. (He has his reasons for wanting to be in it.) He enters the contest, competing against children. He befriends one of the kids, and they both grow in the process. It was heartwarming without being obnoxious, was well-written, and the acting was great. It was a unique story as well. I’m really glad I stumbled across it.

Oct6

October 5, 2015 — GH, the OC, London & a Stink

Posted on by
Standard

What I Watched Today

(random, rambling thoughts on today’s TV)

 

General Hospital

Franco and Nina are out to celebrate their conscious coupling, and see Kiki doing shots at the bar. Nina says it’s a funny place for an investment job. I might agree, but I worked in investments in the 80s.The dude she’s doing shots with apparently wants payment for those shots with some nookie, and Kiki fights off his advances until Franco steps in, saying she’s his daughter. After the guy backs off, half-in-the-bag Kiki tells Franco he’s not her father, that her father was killed by Nina’s lunatic of a mother (like that’s his fault), and to get lost. Instead, he drags her sorry ass out of the bar.

Anna and Emma are having an after school snack at a table outside a restaurat. Emma says she wants to write about her grandma for a school assignment because she’s the best person in the world. Ouch! Knife to Anna’s heart. Anna tries to talk Emma into writing about her dad, but Emma basically says he’s a real bore and she’d rather write about Anna, who’s a hero and can do no wrong. Another stab. Sabrrrina shows up  and tells Emma to go in and buy some cookies, which I already know must be a ploy to talk to Anna alone.

Laura’s back! I’ve been hoping against hope that she’ll be the one who reveal’s “Jake’s” true identity. Maybe I’ll get my wish. She shows up at Patrick’s house and has flashbacks of talking to Elizabeth before she left. She notices Sam’s engagement ring. DUN-DUN-DUNNN!

Hayden is looking up old news on the laptop to try and put the pieces of her life together. Nicholas tells her that she’s looking at tabloid crap and he’s already told her everything. Nicholas thinks Hayden is up to something, but she says she’s honestly just trying to figure her past out, while she’s rocking a great new haircut. Nicholas gets kind of pissed off and leaves. I still can’t decide whether I believe her or not.

Elizabeth is out with “Jake.” It must be date night or something. These two are so unexciting as a couple, I can’t wait until this is over. “Jake” is still unnerved about Sonny calling him “Jason.” Elizabeth gets a call from Hayden, who is wondering why she broke a vase in anger at Nicholas’s castle or mansion or fiefdom or whatever it is he lives in. It’s one of the few memories that she has and Elizabeth was there. Before Elizabeth can say anything, Nicholas takes the phone from Hayden.

Paul says blah-blah-blah to Michael about getting justice for Sonny, which Tracy isn’t too thrilled about, since Sonny shot AJ. She apologizes to Michael for her outburst, but when he leaves, she tells Paul that she’s not really sorry because Sonny is a lowlife.

No surprise, Sabrrrina wants to talk to Anna about Carrrlos. While she doesn’t know he’s dead, she’s not buying that he would have shot Sonny. She thinks she would have heard from him by now, and thinks she should tell the police, but Anna says that would be a bad idea because she would have to admit to aiding and abetting after Duke’s murder. Nice save.

Laura says the reason she came to Patrick’s first is that she has a condition that needs to be monitored and asks Patrick to be her neurologist. It’s highly doubtful that’s why it was her first stop, but when she saw how cozy Patrick and Sam were, I think she hesitated to tell them about “Jake.” Dammit!

Michael has boomeranged back, and Tracy gives him a mini lecture on how he’s never been a Corinthos and should behave like the Quartermaine he is.

Kiki tells Franco that she lied so he wouldn’t feel sorry for her, and that since Silas died, she has no direction. Franco says that when he thought she was his daughter, it was some of the best time of his life, and I wonder if he’s thinking about Todd and Starr and the good old One Life To Live days.

Uh-oh, Tracy just said she’s going off to pray for patience. Don’t do it. Your patience will only get tested as a result. Sabrrrina has shown up and tells Michael she doesn’t think it’s Carrrlos who shot Sonny.

When Anna and Emma get back to Patrick’s, he and Sam tell them about the engagement. Sam says she feels like the luckiest woman in the world. Just wait, Sam.

Hayden wants to know whose secret she’s keeping, hers or Nicholas’s. She says he’s trying to control her and that every time she’s making any headway, he either gets all control freakish or flirty, which she tells him is “enjoyable and effective,” but she’s not someone who can be controlled. To prove this point, she gives in to his amorous advances as Laura walks in.

It stinks that Dr. Phil is on at the same time. Today’s show said it was about a homeless guy who thinks he’s a famous songwriter, which sounds totally delusional, but interesting.

The Real Housewives of the OC

All right, here we go. I’m already hating on Meghan when they show scenes from the previous episodes. She said she thought all children were raised the same. That’s a huge part of her problem. She thinks everything should be the way it is/was for her.

Of course when the show starts, because I stupidly watched First Look again, I had that moment where I thought I saw it before and wonder how that can be.

Brianna starts off with saying idiotic things. Brooks is away, and she, Ryan and children are staying with Vicki. Brianna and Ryan are whispering in the kitchen about how the house feels weird and smells strange. WTF is wrong with these people? Brianna is a married woman with her own family and I just don’t get how she feels she can dictate what her mother does. I still say there’s a reason why they’ve been in Oklahoma a year and have no friends.

Tamra is getting baptized. Look out for lightning storms in the OC.

Shannon and David are seeing their counselor who makes house calls. I have to admit, I wasn’t that crazy about either one of them, especially him, when they first joined the cast, but Shannon has grown to be one of my favorite wives. I have to give David props too, for getting his act together and letting us in on it. And it makes sense now why he was such a creep last season. It’s good of them to air their counseling sessions as well.

Heather, Tamra and Shannon meet for lunch. Tamra wastes no time in pointing out that Heather’s new skin products “also cure cancer.” She says this because one of the ingredients is the same as what Brooks is using to combat his cancer. But aren’t antioxidants used for more than one thing? Again, continuing from last week, there’s a big whoop-de-do about why they chose Tamra to look at Brook’s medical report. Vicki was clear that her reason for doing it was because Tamra started this whole thing with the psychotic…I mean, psychic. I recently read that the so-called psychic is sorry he ever met them, and how much do you want a bet it was a set up by Andy Cohen anyway? Maybe not Andy personally, but he is the pitchfork that prods these shows. Shannon tells them about David’s affair and to her credit, Heather had already known, but has kept her mouth shut this whole time. In Orange County, there’s a 72% divorce rate. Holy! I honestly think these two are going to make it and I’m proud of them.

Brianna says that Vicki works to make something work that shouldn’t work, because she doesn’t want to be alone. Isn’t that her business? I’ve said this before. I don’t care for Brooks, but I never see him treat Vicki like anything but a queen, so who cares if he’s lying his ass off? Brianna has had it out for him ever since (a billion seasons ago) when he was drunk and told Brianna’s husband he should smack her one. Not so nice, but I’ve wanted to smack her one several times, so I get where he was coming from. To top it off, Brianna’s husband, Ryan, doesn’t seem like much of a prize to me. He seems to have calmed down some, but he was a nasty piece of work for a while. Geez, and I thought I could hold a grudge.

Tamra is now meeting Brianna for lunch. No good is going to come from this. Brianna needs to comb her hair. She says she likes Tamra because she’s so honest. Puh-leeze. She’s nasty and uses the word “honest” to justify it. I’m hoping to God (literally) that her finding Jesus changes her personality. In her individual interview segment, Brianna says there’s nothing Brooks can do to get her to like him. Of course Tamra has to tell her about the PET scan business. Because I have no life, I’d Googled he place myself and it said they do them, so….?

Brianna talks about how Vicki has suffered because of her relationship with Brooks. Well, yeah, but that’s not because of Brooks. It’s because of you. I’m heaving huge sighs through this whole episode so far. I don’t get why everyone just doesn’t drop it.

Oh ho! Tamra says Vicki is using her to do her dirty work and “spread the news.” No comment. No, I take that back. Why is it okay for her to spread all kinds of other news – Meghan’s “research” news, the psychic’s news, any nasty news that comes into her stupid head? There was a point where I’d thought she changed and I was starting to like her, but no. Apparently, she thinks being baptized is also a beauty contest and buys an expensive dress and has her makeup done. She’s an idiot.

Holy! Shannon was doing an at home colonic and got a piece of plastic stuck inside her. She’s going to use an enema to fix this? Damn, woman, go to the ER. It turns out that nothing was there and it must have…um…come out in another way.

Whenever I see Heather and Terry, I think it must be nice to be absolutely loaded.

Everyone keeps talking about how much Tamra has changed. Are we just skipping over the bad parts? Is it me? Both Vicki and Shannon are taking separate limos to the baptism, and something doesn’t seem right about that.

In the preview, Tamra says Vicki could be going to hell for lying. Apparently, she hasn’t been paying attention in Jesus class.

Ladies of London

I love the Baroness’s (otherwise known as Caroline #2) relationship with her two Dachshunds. Her decorating skills are awesome too. She’s got a new relationship going on and she’s pretty excited about it. Her counselor also makes house calls.

Juliet stops by to see Caroline #1 and explains that she told Julie about Caroline’s mini tirade against her, and Julie had to run to Annabelle with it. Caroline #1 says Juliet must be a moron if she thinks anything she says to any of them isn’t going to be broadcast. I agree.

Marissa, who hasn’t taken the gigantic stick out of her butt yet, is discussing her new business venture with her husband. She’s whining about how it’s taking her away from her family. It’s not like she has no concept of working outside the home; what did she think was going to happen?

Annabelle and Julie go to a juice bar. Julie says that Juliet had a “look of horror,” when she passed along the info to Annabelle about Caroline #1. I don’t know what Brits consider a look of horror (even though Julie is American), but that wasn’t it IMO. I think Julie is a little unhinged actually. Everything seems to make her nervous and she’s afraid of making Caroline #1 angry. Caroline #1 has her own set of problems right now with her business (Gift Library) and I highly doubt she gives a flying about any of this. Julie claims to have some gene that makes her extra sensitive. I think maybe she reads too much. I had to take the medical dictionary away from my husband once, since he thought he had every single issue he was reading about. Annabelle tells Julie that she needs to own her feelings and confront Caroline #1, but Julie is askard of her.

Caroline and her sister-in-law, Alexis Carrington Sophie, are having a confab about the New Year’s Eve party. If all this stuff is as unimportant as they say it is, why are they still talking about it?

Marissa is meeting with some brand expert. She’s all startled that things are more expensive than she thought they would be. Welcome to the world. Julie is also trying to get some funding for her JUG balls, which are similar to energy bars. She’s sweating bullets over it, which is no surprise, since she seems to get nervous over just about everything. She’s so nervous, she makes me nervous just watching her. She’s been distributing her Scweddy JUG balls herself, but it’s time to branch out. More ball jokes, but she gets the investors on board.

It’s Joan Collins’s Sophie’s birthday, so all the girls are paying tribute. Julie is “petrified” over seeing Caroline #1 for the first time since the New Year’s Eve debacle. What a shock. Where’s Ramona when you need her to scream, “Take a Xanax!”  What do they call not being able to leave high school in the UK? OMG. Julie looks like such a suck up. Annabelle isn’t impressed and says the only way to deal with Caroline #1 is to stand up to her, but instead, Julie gives her a present. And seriously, she looks like a panting puppy while waiting for Caroline #1’s approval.  It seems like more of a bachelorette party than a birthday. They stab at piñatas that have sex toys in them.  Because she’s really mad at Caroline #1, Julie picks a fight with Juliet. I’m starting not to like Julie. Why am I fighting with Juliet about fighting with Caroline when I’m not fighting about Caroline? says Juliet. Why indeed.

And I don’t think Caroline #1 is scary at all. I quite like her. She’s says after an issue with someone, she moves on and gets over it, because life is too short to do otherwise. She, Victoria Gotti Sophie and Juliet have a nice talk and hugs all around.

Next week looks interesting. They’re going bowling in wigs. And Caroline #1 is going to have to deal with New Yorkers. Ha-ha!

Reeker

Because Halloween is coming up and this is one of my favorite horror films and it’s on Showtime rotation.

The title of this film is somewhat off-putting and I almost didn’t watch it the first time because of that. When I saw Michael Ironside was in it though, I decided to give it a look. He’s a wonderful actor (loved him in V) and also a lovely human being.

I don’t want to say too much about this film, since it has a surprise ending. It’s actually one of those films you might want to watch more than once to catch the clues. It’s no The Usual Suspects, but it’s pretty clever.

A group of kids (not kid kids, but young people) are lost and stumble upon what looks like the Halfway Tourist Oasis, a deserted motel, diner and gas station. It looks like it was inhabited not long before, as all the lights are still on and it looks like everyone left in a hurry. It also stinks to high heaven, hence the film title. When one of them tries to go down the road to find help, he runs into Michael Ironside, who’s driving around in circles in an RV, looking for his missing wife.

Throughout the film, strange characters show up, like a dude whose bottom half is chopped off, along with a hooded figure that keeps making a periodic appearance. Bad things start happening and that’s all I’m going to say.

While this isn’t exactly a classic, it’s well worth taking the time to watch. The pace is good, the story is intelligent and a little different, the gore is nicely done, and the ending is satisfying.

Oct5

October 4, 2015 — King Arthur’s Court & the Dead

Posted on by
Standard

What I Watched Today

(random, rambling thoughts on today’s TV)

 

Once Upon a Time

I’ve always thought it was funny how, in fantasy or horror stories, they’ll believe in one thing, but not another. Like on Dark Shadows, they would be okay with witches, but a vampire is preposterous. Or vampires are totally plausible, but not a werewolf. In tonight’s episode, when King Arthur is thrown into present day Storybrook, he has a magician who’s been imprisoned, but scoffs that a curse could be involved. A magician who once turned him into a fish, so really?

In order to get Merlin released, dark magic will have to be used, so Regina (otherwise known as the Evil Queen) wants to take Emma’s place, even though Emma (otherwise known as The Savior) is supposed to be the one to save the day. Meanwhile, Emma’s counterpart has gone completely darkside and Captain Hook breaks up with her. Yes, I know, it sounds like the writers are on drugs; that’s not my fault. It’s actually easier to follow than it sounds, but you do have to pay attention or you’ll wonder where The Cat in the Hat suddenly came from.

In Storybrook, some weird ass dark fairy comes down from the sky and carries off Regina’s boyfriend, Robin Hood. It turns out it’s in some kind of payment for some magic where a life is required. Hmm…we’ve got seven dwarves, so I’d pick one of them. Who needs Grumpy anyway?

Back at Camelot, Regina gets an awesome necklace from King Arthur to wear at the ball. It’s really nice, but it doesn’t look like it was foraged during the Middle Ages. Not even close. No surprise, it’s really a hidden camera, or cauldron, or whatever it is they use for candid snaps there.

There’s a cutesy part with finding Regina the proper dress and teaching her to dance. I ignore the dialogue, but lust after the clothes.

Apparently it’s okay to bring your iPod to the parallel medieval world. Uh-oh, someone has realized that Regina is not so much savior as evil queen and pulls a sword on her. In the following melee, parallel world Robin Hood gets stabbed. Regina asks Emma to save Robin. As magic always comes with a price, Rumpelstiltskin pops in and tells her that he doesn’t make the rules and Regina will have to pay up. Emma says screw you, I can do it myself and does.

Rumpelstiltskin is another reason I watch this show. Robert Carlyle is a lot of fun to watch in this role. While most people know him from Trainspotting or The Full Monty, my favorite film of his is the lesser known Ravenous, where he plays cannibal Colonel Ives, a soldier during the Civil War. If you can take great acting, smart dialogue, and a bloody mess, put it on your Netflix list or however you view films.

The dark fairy, who is some kind of demon, is really cool. I’m surprised this show has never won an Emmy for special effects, although they’ve been nominated. The demon starts zapping Robin Hood, but the whole group steps in to take the zap, and shows us that we can succeed if we work together. This show is pretty corny, but the corn is tolerable because of the context.

Rumpel gives Dark Emma a huge cornball speech about love and friendship, but says she can fix all that with Excalibur. Of course she can’t take it out of the stone, so they’ll have to kidnap find someone who can.

Fear the Walking Dead

Travis and Madison start packing supplies and are going to find Nick and Griselda. Daniel wants to kill Andrew because they don’t need him anymore, but even I think that’s a bad idea. He seems to be on their side, they outnumber him anyway and if they’re going break into the hospital, or whatever it is, they’ll need him. Andrew makes sense in telling them he’s only been nice to them, even before Daniel skinned his arm. They leave him alive and behind because he’s an expendable character and the car is at capacity anyway.

They drive through the gate at the Army base. The troops in the watchtower tell Daniel to halt or they’ll shoot, but he tells them to save their ammunition. Right behind him is a Times Square on New Year’s Eve level hoard of zombies. This distracts them while they walk right in, although I’m not sure how Daniel avoided getting eaten between the gate and the watchtower.

Nick and the Allstate guy are still in confinement.  There’s a huge commotion outside and Nick shows Allstate that he has the key. It looks like the zombies are getting in, the troops are evacuating and they’re leaving the sick behind. Travis, Madison and Daniel have gone inside to look for Nick and Griselda while Alicia and Chris are left in the parking garage with the car. Do their parents really think this is safe???

Nick walks out with Allstate, leaving everyone behind who’s begging for them to let them out. I expect this from Allstate, who seems like a grifter, but would have thought better of Nick. Some Army guys want the car from Chris and Alicia. Even though she gives them the keys, they act like a-holes and punch Chris out when he protests their a-holeness. More disappointment. Mostly because why does a random group of men always end up being misogynistic and violent on these shows?

There’s a lot of chaos with the zombies and the soldiers and the helicopters. Some guy gets his head chopped off by some helicopter blades. Nice. Also reminiscent of both Dawn of the Dead and Planet Terror. I’m never sure if something is an homage or there are just so many ways you can kill someone.

Part of the zombie hoard is after Nick and Allstate. Travis and company have made it into the quarantine area. The people in confinement tell them that Nick is a bastard who left them there to die, but at least these guys have the decency to break them free. Nick and Allstate are stuck between a locked door and a zombie crowd (karma), with Travis and the rest (here, on Gilligan’s Isle!) on the other side of the door.This is a pretty good scene. Very exciting and intense. Liza comes along and is able to open the door with her keycard at the very last millisecond. After which they’re promptly attacked by zombies in the hospital kitchen. Lots of fun props like meat tenderizers to kill zombies with.

Did Nick just say Allstate’s name was Rand or…it’s Strand, but I think I’ll stick with Allstate. I kind of like it. Dr. Exner is staying behind with the sick, which is pretty noble. Especially since she seemed like a real tool. Allstate suggests they go West where he has some property. They come across a mass funeral pyre, no doubt composed (no pun intended) of whoever died at the infirmary. The soldiers took the SUV, but Chris and Alicia are okay. See? That was a gratuitous nasty moment with those guys. Andrew shows up and shoots Ofelia. WTF? I take back all the nice stuff I said about him. On the bright side, pacifist Travis finally waves his aggression flag and beats the ever-lovin’ crap out of Andrew.

They get a truck and a car somehow and head on down the highway, where they see the occasional straggler zombie. (How come it isn’t zomby anyway?) They get to Allstate’s house that looks more like a compound. Nice spread. Nick tries to be a philosopher and I go to sleep.

Commercial Break. Sometimes I wish I played video games. They’ll show a clip from what I think looks like a really awesome movie, and then I find out it’s a video game. This one was for HALO5. Just what I’d need though. Another electronic device that I’m attached to.

Allstate says they can’t stay and that “the only way to survive a mad world is to embrace the madness.” He has a yacht out back and methinks they will be boarding it. Uh-oh, Liza has a bite. Liza (who is also Travis’s ex and Chris’s mother) asks Madison to shoot her. Just when we think she will, Travis shows up. His optimism is back and he thinks she can just take something for it, but that’s a no. Madison gives Travis the gun and another expendable character bites the dust.

Oh no. Don’t let it end this way. With some poetic song playing loudly in the background as Travis goes through angst on the beach and Madison joins him while the waves crash over their knees. No, no, no, no. It was just getting good.

Only 6 episodes? They saved the best for last, but I’m not sure if it’s enough to save the show and get it another season.

BTW, Frank Dillane, the actor who plays Nick, is the son of Stephen Dillane, Stannis on Game of Thrones.

Sep27

Extra! Extra! I Started the Rocky Horror Show Cult

Posted on by
Standard

While these aren’t exactly random, rambling thoughts on what I watched today, in honor of the 40th anniversary, HBO is having a midnight showing. Not quite the same as seeing it in the theatre, but an homage all the same.

Gather around, children, and you shall hear of the midnight show called Rocky Horror. I’ve often thought that I should write about it, and the time is now. Since I was just totally ignored by the new generation.

It was my first week in NYC. I was young, headed to acting school and the world was my oyster. A friend of mine had come along on the moving trip to get in a little R&R. My family was staying a couple of days and he was staying two weeks, but I was there permanently.  We were hanging out at a gay bar called The Ninth Circle in Greenwich Village, getting our drink on and meeting people. One of the people hanging out with us was the manager at the New Yorker movie theatre uptown. The Rocky Horror Picture Show had recently started its midnight run. He asked if we would like to go, tickets on him. I didn’t know much about it, but knew it was a musical, as I had seen the soundtrack for the L.A. production.

“Is it a horror film?” I asked.

“That depends on what you’re scared of,” he answered.

I was definitely intrigued and game for anything, so he told us to pick up the tickets at the box office that Friday night. He also handed us a joint. Smoke a joint? In a movie theatre? I wasn’t exactly naïve, but I had never heard of such a thing. Apparently, I wasn’t in Kansas Ohio anymore.

There weren’t too many people there, and my friend was pretty exhausted. He promptly fell asleep, leaving me to my own deductions, and an entire joint. At first, I didn’t know what to make of it, and it wasn’t because of the pot. When I saw Brad Majors (Barry Bostwick) dancing backward in a graveyard, I thought, Is this a joke? But by the end of the film, I thought if it was a joke, it was a well-written one.

A few weeks went by, my friend went back to Ohio, and I was already meeting loads of new people. The RHPS had stuck in my mind though, and I really wanted to see it again. I got together a few new friends, and we decided we would go to the Waverly in Greenwich Village, rather than schlep all the way uptown.

It was a totally different atmosphere there, crowded, the crowd brimming with excitement. We staked our claim on some balcony seats. At the time, there were no fans dressing up or yelling things, but there were a lot of joints being passed.

Rocky Horror had a highly addictive property, and it wasn’t the weed. It was a well-crafted film, to be sure. (Although, don’t shoot me, I actually think Richard O’Brien’s Shock Treatment is better and more relevant in a lot of ways.) The music is excellent, no stone left unturned in detail, and it couldn’t have been cast any better. But there was more to it than that. In 1976, the idea of “don’t dream it, be it” had found its perfect home in New York City. It was the right time at the right place.

At the time, I had also found the perfect home. While NYC will always be one of the greatest cities in the world, in the late 70s and early 80s, it was still affordable, and I’d landed there like Columbus discovering the New World. I was attending morning classes at the American Academy of Dramatic Arts (less impressive than it sounds) and living in the Webster Apartments, a women’s residence on West 34th Street. It was a cross between a dormitory and a Tennessee Williams play. Rooms with sinks, shared bathrooms on each floor, two meals a day included, and no men above the first floor (unless you were my dad, who insisted on inspecting it when I first arrived). If a guy showed up, you received a phone call from the front desk telling you that you had a “gentleman caller” and there were rooms on the first floor called “beau parlors” where you could receive your male company. You could also have a guy over for dinner, but he had to wear a jacket between October and May. If he didn’t have one, it could be provided for him at the desk, and that orange jacket got a lot of play from my friends. If you missed a meal, you could get a voucher for a friend, and broke friends need to eat. The meals were surprisingly good, cafeteria style, and there was often a sundae bar. Women weren’t excluded from the dress code either. While you were free to wear what you liked during the week, there were rules for the early Sunday dinner and you had to wear either a skirt or a pants suit. My grandmother had given me a polyester pants suit that I’m sure she thought was very chic (it wasn’t) and I can’t count the times I rolled out of bed on Sunday and into that suit and downstairs for the meal. It wasn’t always the most convenient place to live, but it was great for starting out and a good place to meet other women. I met my eventual roommate, Anna, there, who also became my cohort in Rocky Horror crime.

We started going downtown to the Waverly every Friday and Saturday. The line was long, the excitement was high (no pun intended), and I’m sure every merchant on West 4th Street hated us. Since the movie had originally bombed and been shelved, there was no soundtrack for the film, but the soundtrack for the LA Roxy cast was still available, so I immediately got a copy. We would often act out the musical numbers in our rooms after coming home. It wasn’t long before our private shows translated into audience participation.

The first person to dress up has never been mentioned in any of the books. I don’t know his name; otherwise, I’d totally give him props. One night, when it got to the part where Frankie asks if Janet heard “a bell ring,” someone in the balcony rang a bell, causing us all to convulse into laughter. I noticed the guy was dressed up like Eddie, the motorcyclist jazz musician played by Meat Loaf in the film. Afterwards, I sought him out and complimented him on his costume, which included the LOVE/HATE tattoos on Eddie’s knuckles. I asked him if they were real. “I’m a psychiatrist,” he told me. “If they were, my patients might get a little disconcerted.” Good point.

RHPS was a little like therapy, a way to let off some steam, without waking up with a hangover. At least I didn’t. I don’t know what other people were doing. Ironically, it was both therapeutic and addictive; both the rehab and the habit. We had made our home in the balcony, and made friends we saw week after week. The party started in the line that stretched down the block, where we waited to get in. We were always early, getting ready by nine and out by ten.

Louis, who sat in our row, was the first one to shout back at the screen. As Janet holds a newspaper over her head in the pouring rain, he yelled out, “Buy an umbrella, you cheap bitch!” A line that lives on to this day.

I went home for Christmas break, and it wasn’t long after my return that I got my first apartment, on West 27th Street, not far from where I was already. We walked most of my stuff over. I had a roommate for a while, a woman I had met at Webster, but it didn’t last very long. She had trouble adjusting to the city and decided to move back home. By then, I had my first job at Chargit. They took ticket orders for Broadway shows before Ticketmaster was the place to go. I’m sure it got absorbed by them at some point. Anna moved in with me, making it easier for us to be Rocky Horror fangirls together.

Our place was even decorated in early Rocky Horror. We purchased everything we could get our hands on. There wasn’t much merchandising , and certainly nothing like there is now. The only T-shirt you could get was one being sold at the record store near the Waverly.  It was black with the dripping words The Rocky Horror Show, sans Picture because it was from a stage play. My guess is that the store bought out someone’s stock and made a nice buck.  There were a couple of tchotchkes that had come with the Roxy soundtrack, but the Mecca of Rocky Horror movie stills, lobby cards and posters was Jerry Ohlinger’s Movie Material Store. We bought practically everything they had.

We also knew a couple who lived out in Queens, but attended the midnight show at the Waverly. He was a photographer and often took stills of the screen during the movie that he made into 8 x 10s.  I still have those stills (ha-ha). The best part was that no one else had those same pictures. When fans started selling buttons and T-shirts, we got those too.

People were starting to dress up, and found glitter platforms, fishnet gloves and stockings, and feather boas at the hooker stores in Times Square. NYC has everything, so costumes were not that difficult to put together. While Anna and I always dressed fabulously, we didn’t wear costumes and Rocky makeup as a general rule. Speaking of which, it’s so much easier today to find black lipstick and eye shadow. Back then, it was nearly impossible. We found it, but it took some work. We did do the full Rocky regalia one night when we were having an after party. I wasn’t about to wear a garter belt and fishnets on the subway, but I had this incredible 1940s black velvet coat with a beaver fur collar that I’d gotten for ten bucks at Trash & Vaudville on St. Mark’s Place and I wore it over my outfit.

Our apartment wasn’t big – a railroad flat, two rooms and a bathroom – but mostly college and acting students lived there, so no one cared about the late night noise, guests spilling out into the hall, or the funny smelling cigarettes some people were smoking. At one point, there was a banging on the door with the shout, “Open up! Police!” but it was only our upstairs neighbor, Jeff, wanting in on the fun. Later on, he became known as “Naked Jeff.”

After a night of such fine partying that someone drank the bong water (no, it was neither one of us), we had the brilliant idea to watch the sun rise from the apartment rooftop. What we forgot to think about was the height of our building, which was considerably shorter than those surrounding it. No sun rise for us, but we still enjoyed ourselves, chatting, smoking and wandering around. Until Jeff scared us half to death. All of a sudden, his head was peeking over the edge of the roof, which none of us had expected. He actually had every right to scare us, since we’d woke him up. As he came up the fire escape, we realized he wasn’t wearing anything. He wasn’t about to put on any clothes either, but at least he wasn’t mad, and hung out (literally) with us for a while as we watched the sun not rise.

Oh yeah, how it started. The first row of the balcony put you more on the level of the screen, and without seeing other audience members, gave you a certain intimacy with the film. One night, after Frankie sings I’m Going Home, several of us spontaneously stood up and applauded, along with the audience in the movie. It felt like we were in the movie. And that’s how the thought started. How fun it would be, I told Anna, if we tossed confetti during the Frankie/Rocky wedding scene, at the same time they do it on screen. It will fall on the audience below us and they’ll really feel like they’re a part of the movie. I was going back to Ohio for vacation and I’d also wanted to do something special, since I wouldn’t be at the Waverly for a while.

The audience was thrilled and, although it wasn’t the intention, the confetti throwing took off. Anna calls it a “private joke gone public,” and I tend to agree. When I got a letter (yes! we actually put pen to paper and wrote letters back then!) from my sister, who lived near a midnight showing in Cleveland Heights, telling me they were throwing confetti in the theatre there, I was astonished. Imagine my surprise that this even exists 40 years later, all over the world.

The confetti birthed holding newspapers over our heads when Janet did. The paper they hold in the film is the Plain Dealer and I was able to get copies from my father, and I gave them out. I recently sold the last one on eBay for $19.76, in honor of the first year I saw RHPS. Although several people tried it (not me!), it was a no-no to be holding candles so close to newspapers in a movie theatre (that pesky fire code), so that gave way to flashlights. Costumes started coming out, and a mini floor show. Lines were consistently being thrown back at the dialogue on screen. Some stuck and some didn’t. Luckily I got out of there before throwing toast and hotdogs started happening.

One night, after discussing how ridiculous it was that this was our entire social life, Anna and I decided to see another film. Had it been better – I believe it was The Excorcist 2; the title says it all – maybe we wouldn’t have still ended up at RHPS, but we did. By this time, we were getting in for free, although I have a ribbon with hundreds of ticket stubs attached to it. The film was already in progress, and as we approached the balcony stairs, there was a literal wall of smoke. We sat on the steps (breaking another fire code, I’m sure), spending another Saturday night the way we always did.

Probably about a year in, the floor show started to gain more prominence. The film itself started to gain more prominence. It had also lost a certain amount of spontaneity. It became kind of how socialism is good in theory, but someone always wants more and turns it into communism. A few people wanted to take charge of something that had taken flight from a genuine want to make the audience equal with the film. Individuality — don’t dream it, be it – was what the movie was all about for me, and it was time to move along.

Anna and I did attend one of the anniversaries, where our picture was also taken for Sal Piro’s book, Creatures of the Night. A great read – I highly recommend it, as well as his sequel.  Although our perspectives differ somewhat, it’s a wonderful depiction of the phenomenon that RHPS became. He certainly doesn’t mention weed – and for all I know, he was squeaky clean back then; we didn’t really hang out together – and that was a big part of it. Hey, it was a big part of the 70s.

I’ve had a bootleg copy since the first one was made, but there’s nothing like seeing it on the big screen with those who are like-minded. Before I moved away from the city, Sal called and asked me to come to an anniversary event (the 20th?). Since my husband was a “virgin,” I thought it would be fun. And it was, but in some ways, it had already become homogenized. Little bags of props were being sold, along with rice for the wedding in the beginning. The audience also seemed to have a comeback for every line in the film. To me, this lessened the experience of the movie itself. If everyone was just waiting for their cue, how could they be comprehending what was on screen?

I can assure you, I’ve never once introduced myself like I need a 12-step program. Hello. I’m Theresa and I started the Rocky Horror Show cult. Although it has bumped into me along the way. Like the night at karaoke when it came up in conversation. This led to someone thinking I was making it up. Now there was a surprise. Who in their right mind would make something like that up? If I was going to choose my 15 minutes, it wouldn’t have been that. But to save my reputation, I brought  Sal’s book with me the next time I was there. Even after all these years, it’s obvious that’s me. The even weirder thing was, someone mentioned it to the KJ who was working the sound. It turned out he was there at the Waverly back in the day. Talk about a small world.

I was almost at the 40th anniversary in Manhattan this weekend, but decided to write this instead and save my money for Halloween. Seeing it was sold out, I shot an email to the person in charge, asking for them to take pity on a RHPS “pioneer” (Sal’s term), and writing a little anecdote, along with a copy of the picture from the book. I could have heard an internet pin drop. They replied, but what they said was it was sold out, but I could get tickets for the midnight show at the Ziegfeld and sent me a link to the movie theatre. Ouch! Not even a nice-to-meet-you.

I got a follow up email, telling me someone was looking to sell their weekend pass, but I decided to take a pass, telling them thanks, but no thanks.

And with that, I officially retire my corset.

Sep14

September 13, 2015 — Cait & the Dead

Posted on by
Standard

What I Watched Today

(random, rambling thoughts on today’s TV)

I Am Cait

The meeting between Cait and Kris is finally happening. No big blow-out. Just a kind of normal conversation, albeit a sad one. Kris feels that Cait has “thrown her under the bridge” in the Vanity Fair article. I have to confess, I haven’t read it yet, but isn’t it thrown under the bus? Cait’s a transgender woman, not a troll. Cait talks about not being included in Kylie’s graduation. As much as I think Cait should probably have discussed her future plans with Kris a little earlier on, there was really no excuse for her leaving Cait out of these festivities. There are tears in their eyes, and I feel for them both, but I also think Kris is somewhat exaggerating about giving her “whole life” to the relationship. I understand I don’t know everything that went on behind closed doors, but it looked like Kris gave a lot more time to making money off of the kids, so it’s hard to have a lot of sympathy. On the few Kardashian shows I saw, she also didn’t seem to treat Cait (then Bruce) very well. I have the feeling these two have never actually had a real conversation

Cait is having a spiritual ceremony to claim her new name. There is some interesting conversation about spirituality and Biblical interpretation. Candis says the kids in Sunday school were mean to her. I have vague memories of the boys in catechism being mean when we were junior high school age (or middle school, depending on where you grew up).

Boy George is coming to the ceremony and since Candis is singing, she’s super nervous. The Gay Men’s Chorus of L.A. is also singing with her. I love the harmonies in a men’s chorus! Everyone is in white and looks beautiful.

As this is the season finale (that was quick), there are flashbacks and Cait ends the way she began, sans makeup and talking to the camera. She says it’s been an amazing journey (can we lose both “amazing” and “journey” on all reality TV shows?) and she finally feels like she fits in someplace. Jenny has said earlier that her mother told her it’s hard to hate someone whose story you know, and I tend to agree. Hopefully, hearing Cait’s story has inspired understanding.

It’s said that people remember less what you say and do, but more how you made them feel. And I think Cait is a person that leaves people feeling better about themselves. I hope we get to see the next chapter.

Fear the Walking Dead

When last we left him, Travis was trapped in the barber shop and Madison was trapped at home with her kids. Seeing Madison’s place, I’m wondering if the Texas Chainsaw Massacre guy is her decorator.

Does anyone really need to be told to stay away from the windows? Apparently, yes.There is a free-for-all going on outside, and Travis and his group escape amid looting, pushing and shoving. It’s nice to see some things haven’t changed. The chaos is escalating.

Madison and company gather up weapons like they live in Texas, and are about to split when Travis shows up to find Madison’s ex chomping on the family dog. Nice follow up shootin’ by the barber. I think this ain’t his first time at the rodeo. Well, maybe this rodeo, but he’s been to some kind of rodeo. Madison’s daughter foes back for some prescription bottles and almost gets eaten. See, kids? Drugs can kill you. Nick finally says what everyone has been ignoring. These people are dead. Light bulb moment!

The next morning, everyone is acting normal, putting out the trash and waving hello to dead neighbor Susan, trapped in the backyard. Don’t get too close – she bites! Travis wants to be an advocate for gun control, but I don’t think now is the time. Madison wants to finish Susan off with a hammer, but Travis tells her no, there still might be a way to help. Sorry, but if you’re looking like a walking corpse, and I mean literally, and it looks like you’d eat me given half a chance, I’m using that hammer.

The barber’s wife says they’ve been in worse situations. Really?! When? I thought I had a hard life, but I haven’t had any experience comparable to this.

I highly recommend Trader Joe’s Original Savory Thins rice crackers. Not cakes, crackers. They kind of taste like Rice Krispies, aren’t bad for you and are a bit addictive.

Uh-oh. Susan’s husband is home. This doesn’t look too good. That’s not a hug she’s going in for. Luckily, the back of her head gets taken off by some military guys who just showed up. Hmm…it looks like they might be rounding up the living too. It doesn’t say FEMA on their trucks, does it? Now it looks more like a census. Typical of them to not let anyone know what’s going on.

The barber isn’t liking this one bit, but Travis thinks it’s going to get better – now that the government has shown up to take control. Um…

As usual, I missed the second word to enter their contest. …sniff…

Sep12

September 12, 2015 — I Am My Own Zunami

Posted on by
Standard

What I Watched Today

(random, rambling thoughts on today’s TV)

 

Z Nation: Zunami

I was glad to see the Chiller network is running a Z Nation marathon amid the vast wasteland that is weekend television.This was my favorite episode in the first season. And I think a turning point for several characters.

At the beginning of the episode, the group has just lost their leader, Charlie. He’s also the love of Roberta’s life (at least this life), and she’s about to give up. Murphy, in his not-so-subtle way, tells her to get back with the program. A “zunami” is coming – a wall of zombies, headed south, and our friends are trying to stay a step ahead of them. Having had no water for a couple of days though, they’re not at the top of their game. Only Murphy is fine, since he can “retain his bodily fluids.”  They become trapped and the only choice is to hide inside the dead body chambers of a morgue, after ousting one of the inhabitants. Murphy, not having the same worries as the others, is able to remain among the zombies and goes out to find supplies. To distract themselves from what’s surrounding them, Roberta thinks about food and Doc thinks about bands from the ‘70s. One of the expendable characters they’ve picked up along the way can no longer take the claustrophobia, and busts out of his chamber, quickly getting eaten, while the others hold their collective breaths.

Citizen Z gets a visitor, cosmonaut Yuri, who has landed from a defunct space station. Although Citizen Z is cautious, the two become friends, sharing stories, having a nip of vodka, and playing golf.  Citizen Z has been alone a long time, so it’s a happy moment when he’s finally able to communicate with another human being face to face. Especially when he began this episode saying good-by to Charlie and saluting his bravery via webcam.

This episode is heartbreaking on a couple of levels.  One is the change we see in Murphy – becoming both braver and more hardened. He’s a reluctant anti-hero, starting to realize the power he has over the zombies. After stealing supplies from a living mother and child, he lets the zombie father back into the house. Why? I still don’t get that. Is there some method to that madness or does he have a cruel streak? After seeing season two’s premiere episode last night, I’m hoping Murphy comes back from the dark side. He isn’t entirely gone, but I don’t like where he’s headed.

And there’s also Citizen Z finally forging a real friendship, only to realize at the end, he’s still alone. Earlier in the episode, a carbon monoxide alarm has gone off.  Since it’s interfering with Citizen Z’s concentration on his golf game, he’s whacks it with the golf club, knocking it off the ceiling, rather than checking the air levels. This does seem a little contrary to Citizen Z’s personality, but creates the setting where we get to really know him.

Seeing it again was interesting in the way that watching The Sixth Sense a second time is. We can now look for “clues.” The first thing Yuri says to Citizen Z is that the air is not safe, even after Citizen Z has told him it’s all right to remove his helmet; Yuri having so many similarities to Citizen Z is no coincidence, but understandable, since he is Citizen Z; Citizen Z researching Yuri’s space station on his tablet (yes! we still have wifi!) and seeing that it had run out of air and all were presumed dead; Yuri’s continual questioning about Citizen Z’s dog sleeping the day away; Yuri knowing that Citizen Z’s real name is Simon, which even we didn’t know.

When Citizen Z discovers Yuri has put his space suit back on, he draws a gun and asks who Yuri really is and why he has intruded on the compound.  At first, Yuri tells him he’s asking the wrong question, but when Citizen Z asks why Yuri has put his suit back on, Yuri tells him he’s closer.

A physical fight ensues. Yuri is about to strangle Simon, cutting off his air, while continuing to badger him into remembering what he knows. What is different about today? What is wrong with dog? What do you know? When Yuri asks him why he can’t breathe, Simon says it’s because there is no oxygen. Yuri disappears and the figurative light bulb comes on. Citizen Z drags himself and his dog outside, where they both recover. (Whew!) Seeing Citizen Z standing at the entrance to the compound, alone with his dog (only known as Pup) was actually a little painful and brought tears to my eyes. I so wanted him to have some company.

While The Walking Dead is more like a combination of Orson Welles and Werner Herzog direction, Z Nation is like a Tarantino/Rodriguez effort. The terror is high, but the humanity and laughs continually bubble to the surface, somehow making it more personal. (The only advice my father gave me upon leaving home was, “Don’t lose your sense of humor.” He must have known how easy that would be to do in this world.) I’ve found myself invested in this diverse band of characters, rooting for them, laughing with them, holding my breath when it looks like there’s no way out for them, and weeping inside for them.

I love the horror genre, but zombies have always been my favorites, because zombie stories are rarely really about zombies; instead being representative of real life terrors. Sometimes it’s obvious, like those where humans became zombiefied because of biological warfare or some nuclear waste leak. Others contain more subtlety, like Colson Whitehead’s Zone One, which basically tells us that we need to leave a lot of our “dead” ways behind. (I read it while the electricity was out after Hurricane Sandy and I couldn’t have picked a more appropriate book.) While I haven’t made a definitive decision on what Z Nation is really about – and like The Walking Dead, we are not privy as to why this is happening – I tend to think they both involve the human struggle with ourselves, as well as those who are different from us, and trying to move forward in today’s ever-changing landscape.

Or as Pogo once so succinctly put it: We have met the enemy and he is us.

Aug31

August 30, 2015 — Dating Cait, Dead People & a Train

Posted on by
Standard

What I Watched Today

(random, rambling thoughts on today’s TV)

 

I Am Cait

I don’t blame Cait for being apprehensive about dating. Any woman getting thrown back into the dating pool at 65 would be scared. Unless you’re Tina Turner or some other mega-fabulous being. Cait and friends go to a club where gorgeous guys are pole dancing and dollar bills are being thrown around. Poor Cait is so uncomfortable, it reminds me of Benjamin’s date with Elaine in The Graduate.

Quote of the episode – Cait referring to the club: “In The Abbey they’re all packin’.”

Um…just because Cait is uncomfortable with the strippers doesn’t have anything to do with her liking/not liking men. Seriously, Jenny? Jenny can be pretty astute though, pointing out that Cait has always escaped her problems through work. IMO, it’s better than escaping through drugs. At least you make money rather than spend it. Cait suggests that being with a man might make a transgender woman feel like “a real woman.” When Jenny asks what she means by that, she says “any other woman you see on the street.” Jenny then gives her the advice we should all heed, that Cait is “normal” right now and a woman doesn’t need a man to validate her and make her a woman. I’m sure there’s a country song in here somewhere. Welcome to my world Cait.

What was interesting is that Jenny also said Cait has too much work on the brain. Wasn’t she the same person who suggested Cait be a one-woman educator for the masses? I’m glad she’s come to see that Cait does care about the rest of the world and not just what’s in her shoe closet.

One of the sadder things brought up tonight is how often transgender women are made to think they’re only good for one thing once their transgender status has been revealed. That men will romance them until they find out, and after that’re reduced to late night booty calls. The words that have been hanging silently in the air throughout the series are finally given a voice. Maybe Cait should date Candis. I think she should. Candis is the whole package. I’d date Candis.

Cait tells Candis that the worst thing is to not have hope for the future. I totally agree. Lots of pearls of wisdom tonight.

Fear the Walking Dead

Who is this kid with the acne – in other words, the 30-year-old they’re trying to get us to believe is in high school – who keeps skulking around and obviously knows something? Ok, now he’s talking. Conspiracy theories and how when society crashes, it’s like Lord of the Flies. He’s also gotten the knife back that Madison confiscated from him in the first episode. Except a pocket knife against a zombie is hardly going to be effective, especially a fresh zombie. The knife’s metal is quickly tested on Principal Artie and Tobias (the acne-faced kid) has a hard time getting it through Artie’s thick skull.

Curtis and his ex are looking for their other son who is not Nick. He’s at some kind of protest where things are about to get out of hand. Everything is getting dicey with dead people coming back to life and of course the looters are busy. It’s nice to know that some things never change. A tragedy has happened? Quick! Let’s steal some TVs! The three hole up in a barber shop. As it gets even creepier outside, there is no way Travis can leave to meet Madison, the plan having been to leave Los Angeles together. Madison is at home with Nick & her daughter, Alicia. Things are not going well outside there either.

Will Travis be able to get away to meet Madison? Will Madison be able to get away to meet Travis? Why is it 2 weeks until the next episode?

Snowpiercer   (WARNING: SPOILERS)

Just to prove I don’t just watch schlock, let’s talk movies. I caught Snowpiercer on Showtime over the weekend. It was so good, even though I was at home, I didn’t even want to get up to go to the bathroom.

Giving a Reader’s Digest Condensed version of the plot, in trying to fix global warming, a huge miscalculation has been made and brings on another ice age, killing all life. Apparently, however, there was some warning, because the survivors are now bound for nowhere on a gigantic train. The train (the number of cars never talked about, but in the graphic novel, it’s 1000+) is a microcosm of society, with the elite being in the front cars, and the dregs of humanity in the back. Kind of like your everyday flight on a major airline. It’s a nightmare living in the back – they’ve been on the train for 17 years now – so it’s time for a revolution.

As the group of rebels goes forward through the train, I was reminded of The Warriors (1979), where a gang has to get back to their home turf, fighting various rivals (in various costumes and makeup!) as they make their way through New York City. Snowpiercer is very detail oriented, and I was fascinated with the different cars and the different groups of people.

There are lots of great fight scenes, which made me wonder if those In the tail section (or “the shoe” as Tilda Swinton reminds them, while the people in the front section are “the hat”) had been watching Ninja movies and doing strength training all those years, since they have extreme fighting down to a science. There is also a very weird break In the action because the new year arrives.

A lot of the characters are weird, although I guess I’d be weird too, if I was riding a train for 17 years. I hate being in the car for more than two hours. Tilda Swinton is remarkable as Minister Mason, a somewhat androgynous second in command, chewing the scenery, using words like “hooliganism,” and spewing forth great lines, such as, “You suffer from the misplaced optimism of the doomed.”

One of my favorite scenes was in the aquarium section (an absolutely gorgeous set!) where sushi is also served twice a year, and It just so happens that this is one of the times. As the insurgents prepare to dig in, leader Curtis stops Mason from eating, handing her one of the protein bars that the rear cars have been eating for years. No doubt she knows what it’s made out of – insects – something Curtis and crew discovered along the way. Although truthfully, that’s supposed to be one of the best sources of protein. I know. You eat it then.

The train itself reminded me of Coney Island’s rickety wooden roller coaster, Cyclone, the scary way it bounced along the tracks at breakneck speed. None of the parts are getting any younger either, and when she blows, it’s a phenomenal scene. Somehow, I missed this in the theater. It’s a shame because it’s just the kind of film I like to see at the movies. Lots of special effects and blowing things up. It makes me feel like I’m getting my money’s worth, since it costs as much as a cruise for a ticket now. Thank God for the dollar store, so I don’t have to take out a second mortgage to get candy.

I can understand why, at the end, Curtis doesn’t want the job of overseeing humanity. My first job in NYC was with a place that took ticket orders for shows before TicketMaster was born. I was a supervisor for a while and I hated it. I didn’t want to tell other adults when they were allowed to have a bathroom break. So I know how you feel, Curtis.

The story was taken from a graphic novel, but I wish it was a “real” book because I have a few questions. The most pressing of which concerns a polar bear seen at the end of the film. If the earth had was uninhabitable, and all life dead (we saw this to be true looking out the windows throughout the film), where did it come from? It can’t be evolution, because there was nothing to evolve from except snow. Did God put it there? Did it fall out of the train? Will it eat those kids who survived?

Snowpiercer made me laugh, it made me cry, it made me watch it a second time. It was one of those movies where afterward, you don’t want to watch anything else, because you know it will pale in comparison.