What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

General Hospital

Diane talks to Sonny about Carly’s medication. She says it’s Exhibit A. The more medication she’s on, the better. Jason says he’s still looking for proof of her innocence. Diane asks if he has any, and he says, no. She says then there is no evidence. Sonny says, good.

Alexis looks at Mikkos’s picture. Sam comes by, bringing snacks. Alexis asks if they’re having an impromptu movie night. Sam says she needs her advice, and Alexis says she doesn’t have to bribe her with snacks. She asks what’s going on, and Sam says it’s about her divorce.

Kim goes to Drew’s office, but he’s not there. She sees the assembly flyer on his desk, and picks it up. She notices the DNR underneath, and wonders what he’s thinking. I wonder how every stranger that walks by is allowed to root through your office at Aurora.

Lulu tells Dante that he should be impressed. She waited to watch the latest episode of House Hunters International, although she did break open the wine. He tells her that the WSB is breathing down their necks. Lulu says she heard Jordan’s head is on the chopping block. He asks who told her that, and she says an unnamed source in Ned’s office. He asks if his wife or a reporter was doing the asking.

Diane tells Sonny that the trial starts tomorrow. Jason wants more time, but she says she pushed to have it earlier. Sonny says the sooner she’s in Shadybrook, the better. Jason says the sooner he proves her innocence, the better (which is apparently the phrase of the day). Diane says he doesn’t have much time to spin it. Jason tells them that Spinelli has been working night and day. Carly didn’t imagine any of it; she’s not crazy, and Nelle’s fall was an accident. Diane says because of an altercation over a baby blanket that no one saw, and Nelle says doesn’t exist. He can’t prove that, but she can prove Carly’s irrational behavior, and doesn’t need his help to do it.

Lulu tells Dante that got off on the wrong foot, and asks him to sit with her and have a glass of wine. Dante says it’s been a long day, and she says he can talk to her. He asks if she means as his wife, not a journalist. He says Henrik/Peter was behind bars, and now he’s gone; it’s demoralizing. Lulu doesn’t think he’s gone; not the way he left things with Maxie. Dante asks if she thinks he’ll want to make amends, and she says he cares what Maxie thinks. She believes he cared about her. Dante says Lulu doesn’t know a damn thing except the lies Peter fed her.

Felix and Stella have a drink at The Floating Rib. She asks how Mike is, and Felix says Mike cleaned him out at checkers; he’s a shark. Stella says he’s got skills to spare and charm to match. Felix says he put on quite a show at the Nurses’ Ball. Stella says Alzheimer’s is taking its toll, but he’s still in there. He’s a good man, and deserves his dignity. She’s grateful Felix is giving him that. Felix asks if it’s just him, or is Mike a special case? She says Mike has certain flair. He reminds her of someone she used to know. Felix asks about Curtis getting married to the commissioner, and she says the talk about her nephew’s engagement, the better. Jordan and Curtis walk in.

Alexis asks what Sam wants. She says she’s ready to leave Aurora, and wants Drew to have it. Alexis says leaving and signing away a valuable asset are two different things. Sam says they acquired the company together because they wanted to run it together. They’re not together anymore, and she wants him to have her half. Alexis points out that the company was purchased with Jason’s money. Sam says technically. Alexis says the deal was, they could both pay him back long term at zero interest. Jason did it for her. If he’d thought it was just for Drew, he might have sold the company outright. He might object if believes Drew is getting to reclaim the asset. Sam says Jason wouldn’t do that, but Alexis says Diane would. They’re not talking about a couch, and she’ll look out for his best interests. It’s a multi-million-dollar enterprise. Why should Drew get it? Sam says, Drew wants it, and she doesn’t anymore.

Drew’s assistant finds Kim in his office. She tells Kim that Drew is out, but she can leave a message. Kim says she can’t wait. She has to stop him from doing something dangerous. Drew walks in.

Diane asks Jason about the phone calls. He says Dante traced them, and they can prove they came from a pay phone close to where Morgan died. At first, they were hang ups. Then, on Valentine’s Day, Carly heard a guy say, I’m here. Nelle was using Carly’s grief to lure her only yards away from where her son died. Diane asks, how? and Jason says she heard an explosion. Diane asks if he found any evidence, and Jason says, no, because Nelle was playing a recording. She says it’s speculation. He insists it happened. Nelle made the calls, and has been torturing Carly, and he should have seen it.

Sam tells Alexis that she’s financially independent, and doesn’t need the company. She doesn’t want Drew to worry about paying it back, and would rather have a clean break. Alexis says she’s giving up a lot to achieve it, but Sam thinks it’s worth it. It’s better than dragging things out, like… Alexis asks, what? Sam tells her, nothing, but then says, like her and Julian. Alexis wishes she could say Sam was wrong. After the Nurses’ Ball fiasco, Julian was concerned, and made sure she got home. He came back the next day. Alexis says, nothing happened; just a moment, but it’s when she decided she needed therapy. She called Doc. She tells Sam it was just one kiss, and she stopped it; it’s not happening again. She went to see Doc because she can’t take it; the endless loop of her life, and how she keeps repeating the pattern of picking men who are horrible for her.

Drew asks Kim what’s up. She says, him first. She asks about the DNR, questioning there being no attempt to save his life, and just pulling the plug. He asks if she has the habit of going through people’s desks (thank you). She says she came to talk him, and thought he’d already gone. She wants him to think about Oscar. Does he have any idea what Oscar has to lose? He’s just getting to know his father. The procedure is risky, even if he has the flash drive, but he doesn’t. Drew says it’s not going to happen. He’s not going through with it.

Lulu tells Dante obviously, she went over his head with the Peter/Faison thing, and has been apologizing every day. She asks if he’s never made a mistake, and he says not one that resulted in… She tells him to say it; he’s never gotten anyone killed. He says that wasn’t her fault, but she gets so focused she doesn’t consider the consequences. She asks if he’s saying he doesn’t like the way she does her job. He says she doesn’t think things through. She wonders if he’s going to criticize her parenting or wifely duties, but he says he’s just having a conversation, and she’s making him sound like an ass. She says he’s making it really easy. He says he loves her, but doesn’t love her job or what it’s doing to her.

Diane asks if Carly said she found Morgan’s scarf or one that looked like it? Jason says Nelle found a scarf like Morgan’s, tore it, put blood stains and dirt on it, and left it on Carly’s desk. She asks if he saw it, and he says he didn’t because Nelle pulled the fire alarm and it was gone when they came back in. Diane says, again, it’s speculation. He says Nelle was Carly’s assistant. She knows the floor plan, and could avoid the security cameras. He bets that the fire alarm that was pulled is on the same floor as Carly’s office. He adds that Carly had a picture of Morgan wearing the scarf on her desk. Diane says, assuming he’s right, and Nelle orchestrated an elaborate scheme, that would be motive for shoving her down the stairs. He’ll be proving the DA’s case for her.

Lulu says the simple solution is her quitting her job, but Dante isn’t telling her to do that. He just wants her to include him. She asks if the same transparency goes for him. If she includes him on her assignments, he should do the same for her. He says it’s not a fair comparison. He took an oath. She has a code of standards where she should be vetting sources. She’s been a reporter less than six months. Maybe she should take a step back. She says it sounds like quitting. If she did that, she’d only resent him, and it won’t fix the problem.

Curtis tells Jordan that Stella is there, and she asks if running is an option. He says whatever she wants, but she thinks the only way to deal with it is to deal with it. Felix asks if they’d care to join the table, and Curtis thinks it’s a great way to celebrate. Felix tells him that his proposal gutsy and romantic, and congratulates them. Jordan is glad he didn’t slice her in half or make her disappear. Stella knows a good performance, and says his was the best at the Ball. She can’t wait to see what’s next. She toasts to what’s in store.

Kim is surprised Drew isn’t getting the procedure. Drew says it’s thanks to Oscar. She asks if he told Oscar, and he says Oscar doesn’t need to know. He came by to drop off the info about the awards ceremony, and they started talking about Josslyn, Carly being in jail, and how happy he is with the family. He realized that it would be selfish to go through the procedure. As much as he hates having Jason’s memories, he’s not risking his life. Kim thinks it’s the right decision, especially since Oscar needs him more than ever. Drew asks, why?

Alexis tells Sam that her behavior is no mystery; it’s classic. her father didn’t care about her, so she compulsively choose men like him because of unfinished business. She can name it, but can’t fix it. She wants someone to fix her. Doc is going to unpack her emotional baggage, starting with her father, which shouldn’t take long. She barely knew Mikkos. He was distant, intimidating, and had no interest in her. Sam looks at his picture. Alexis says except one time, when she was pregnant with Sam, he intervened. She thought maybe he did care, and was just afraid of what Helena would do, but if the most he could do was to protect her once, what kind of father was he? Sam says they both have a lot to figure out. Alexis says she never thought about him – it was profoundly upsetting – but she’d like to know if there was a sliver of good in him. Sam wonders how she can find out; he’s been dead since the 80s. Alexis says she has a way. Sam asks how many people could be around who knew him, and the doorbell rings. It’s Valentin, and Sam asks Alexis to please tell her that’s not who’s going to help her.

Sonny says he hates Nelle, but the last thing he wants is for Carly to go to prison. Jason wants to prove Nelle is a liar, but Diane says they don’t have it. At least six people, one of them Carly’s mother, heard Carly threaten Nelle. Jason says, fine. He saw Carly today, and they talked about her plea. He told her not to plead insanity.

Alexis tells Sam that Valentin is her historian, and Sam says Luke is more trustworthy. Valentin asks if it’s a bad time. Alexis says, no, and Sam says, it is, and he says he’s getting mixed signals. Sam wants Alexis to understand who she’s dealing with; Valentin and Peter are working together. He’s the one who stood by and watched Peter destroy lives. Valentin says he’s known Peter since child, and Sam says, when he handed Peter over to Faison to get revenge on Anna. Alexis is puzzled, and Sam says Peter is Anna’s son with Faison. She gave him up for adoption, and Valentin tracked the adoptive family down, making them hand Peter over. If he’s willing to be that vile and selfish to a child, imagine what he can do to her?

Lulu tells Dante that he needs to figure out how to find a way to get rid of his anger. She knows she’s not invincible. She did get in over her head with Faison, and let Peter manipulate her. Dante was suspicious, but she didn’t listen to him. Peter told her what she wanted to hear. She trusted him, but she’s not naïve anymore; her eyes are opened. Dante says, next time, some information might be helpful if there’s a police investigation. She says if she’s aware of anything pertinent, she’ll share it with her husband. He says, not the cop?

Kim says Oscar is in the throes of young adulthood. He has a good head on his shoulders, but he’s still figuring things out, and needs guidance. Oscar shows up, and seems miffed that Kim is there. She says she came to tell his dad about the award ceremony. Oscar says he told her that he was going to do that. She says he told her that he was going to clean his room, and she still can’t see the floor. Drew says Oscar is going to be an intern there, and Kim says, so she won’t have him on her hands the whole summer, glued to TV with a phone in his hand? She suggests they celebrate with ribs, and invites Drew along. She says, the night is young; it’s too early to call it quits.

Sonny can’t believe Jason told Carly to change her plea, and Diane says, there goes her defense strategy. Jason says she’s sticking to the plea. She said the same thing about there being more motive. She’d rather do a few months than risk being found guilty. Diane says it makes her nervous the other way. Carly is behaving rationally, and she’s trying to prove Carly is anything but. Sonny says she won’t have to go to prison; that’s what matters. Jason says she’ll be admitting to pushing Nelle and jeopardizing her grandchild. She’ll have to live with it for the rest of her life, when it didn’t happen.

Jordan and Stella are left alone at the table. Stella looks at Jordan’s ring, and asks if she’s pleased. Jordan says, very. Almost as pleased as she was to get Stella’s blessing. She knows things between them need to be repaired, but she’s not giving up. Stella tells her not to pressure herself. Things work out if they’re meant to.

At the bar, Drew congratulates Curtis. Curtis tells Drew that he was talking to Sam. She wants to get back into the PI business, and he suggested they partner up. There’s nothing solid, but he thinks it’s going to happen, and wants him to be aware. Drew thinks it’s a good move. There’s no one better. Curtis doesn’t want it to come between them, but Drew says, they’re good.

Valentin says he’s not denying delivering the baby to Faison, but he’s regretted every day since. Sam asks if that’s why he helped Peter escape, but Valentin says Peter pushed him into the cell and locked it. He has a better question. Why were the security cameras disabled, and where was the guard? She doesn’t have to answer. Valentin shows Alexis an envelope, saying it’s the initial payment from his primary source. It’s about Mikkos, and he thinks it will be valuable. Sam says Alexis doesn’t have to do this, but Alexis says, it’s the only option, but she will consider the source. Sam tells her to be careful. She tells Valentin that he has a lot of enemies. If he does anything to hurt Alexis, she’ll be his worst one.

Dante tells Lulu that they’re back to where they started. He can’t look other way if something is unethical. Lulu says they’ll figure it out together. It’s called compromise, and it’s what marriage is about. Dante says, why not? They’ve worked well together in the past. They seal the deal with a kiss.

Diane says Jason should be pleased that Carly is pleading not guilty, but he thinks they should be proving she’s innocent. Diane says she can present facts. She can’t prove Carly is innocent. Jason says, but she can prove Carly is insane? Diane says, no; not in her right mind, but she’ll need him to attest that there were no visible signs of a break-in, and that there were signs Carly was losing her grip. Jason says she wasn’t. Diane says if he says that Carly is responsible for her actions, and she gets convicted, how will he feel? He tells her not to call him then, but she says she doesn’t have a choice. Sonny asks Jason what Carly said when he saw her. Jason tells him that she said she’s going to do this and needs him to back her. Sonny says, then back her. Jason says he’s not going to lie and say Carly is crazy, because she’s not. Sonny glares at him.

Dante and Lulu make out on the couch. Lulu thinks they still have it, but they’ll know for sure next time their jobs cross paths. Dante says they’re off to a good start.

Jordan and Curtis are at the table alone. Curtis asks if Jordan is pleased at how things turned out, and she hopes it’s okay at the wedding. They just have to set a date. Stella sits with Kim, and asks about one of her clients. Kim says they’re doing great, and compliments Curtis on the great proposal; it was one for the ages. Stella says, enjoy while it lasts. Not every engagement ends in a wedding. A lot can happen in between now and then.

Oscar and Drew play pool. Drew tells Oscar to always ask for more work; it shows initiative and gives you more experience. Oscar promises he won’t take advantage of being the boss’s son. Drew says he started it for his family.

Sam brings a box to Drew’s office. His assistant, who must be getting tired of this constant traffic, says Drew left a while ago. Sam asks her to make sure he gets this, and gives her an envelope.

Alexis gives Valentin some paperwork, and says in the event of a tragedy, the bulk of his assets will go to Charlotte. He thanks her, and tells her that he’s given her the initial payment, but there’s more where that comes from. He’ll hand it over once the change is complete. She tells him that she’s changed her mind; she doesn’t want his help. He tells her if she changes her mind, she knows where to find him. She says she doesn’t want the envelope, and he tells her to throw it away.

When Valentin is gone, Alexis puts the envelope in the fireplace. She strikes a match, but just stands there with it, aflame in her hand.

Tomorrow, Obrecht tells Peter they have an eventful morning ahead, Carly asks whose testimony they need to worry about, and Nelle tells Michael that she’s being called to testify against Carly.

The Haves and The Have Nots

When we last left, Veronica had just walked in on Justin and Jeffrey getting busy at David’s condo.

Veronica’s eyes practically pop out, and she says she’s going to be sick. Jeffrey says, good. She’d hoped he’d changed. He’d hoped she did. He tells her to get her ass out of there. She’s shocked he’d do this disgusting act in front of her. He says he didn’t know she was there, but if she wants to stay, they’re going to continue. She says he’s really like this, and he says, yes, he’s gay; where has she been his whole life? She doesn’t know what to say. Justin suggests goodbye and I laugh. She thinks Justin is making him like this, but Jeffrey says he was born this way, and get her ass out. She’s done all the damage she can do. She says she came to help him, but he says, no, she didn’t. She says she came out of the kindness of her heart, but he says she doesn’t have any. She brought the affidavit for him to sign, and he asks if it’s the one where he’s supposed to give up Benny. She thinks he must be screwing Benny too. What she just witnessed – that’s it. She asks what’s wrong with him? He says he put knife in her one time, and asks if she wants to try again. She says, this girl (meaning Justin) is making him bold. Jeffrey says she’s making him bold. He’s sick of her. She begs him to come home, and then starts screaming her head off. She asks him to come, but he just sits there. She says she can fix this, and leaves, shutting the door behind her.

Landon goes over the schedule with Charles. He asks if Charles is okay, and Charles says, yes. He tells Charles he’ll be good at this, but Charles says, it’s sleeping alone. All he can think about is Candace. Landon wonders what the hell she did to him. Charles asks if Landon never had a crazy crush. He doesn’t know what it is. There’s the sex, but there’s also something he can’t explain. He knows she’s bad for him, but doesn’t care. Landon knows that feeling. Charles says he wants her here and now. They can clean her up, and he knows he can make her happy. Landon says, if Charles says so, and asks if he’s sure. Charles isn’t ready to give up on her, and asks if they can set it up. Make sure every scheme she’s running, fails. Landon says he’ll get his team on it. He’ll have to go old school on this one. Whatever that means.

Jeffrey tells Justin to stop for a minute. Justin says Veronica makes him crazy. Jeffrey wonders how she knew they were there, and Justin says she’s probably having him followed. He tells Jeffrey to relax. He’s here for him. Jeffrey asks who Justin thinks he is to him, but Justin thinks Jeffrey should answer that. Jeffrey refuses, and Justin says that Jeffrey is his. Jeffrey says he already told Justin that he isn’t, and thinks he should leave. He says it’s a mistake. He had a weak moment, and they had sex; that’s it. Justin says he’s not leaving – ever. Jeffrey says he’s not scared of Justin, and to stop with the threats. Justin says it’s not a threat. He’s gone too far, and given up so much. He can’t go back now. Whether Jeffrey wants to admit it or not, they’re together for life. Justin says he’ll make dinner.

Since I can find no info whatsoever on this character, we’ll call him LJ – for his alias Leslie Jackmore. LJ is in hotel room of the guy he picked up in the bar. He tells dude to turn around and bend over. When he does, LJ takes his wallet. He looks at the ID, and sees dude works at a college. Dude asks what LJ wants, and LJ says that’s a loaded question. Dude asks if his evil bitch wife is doing this, and LJ says, no, the evil bitch is him. He wants all dude’s money, and his watch. Dude says his father gave it to him (reminding me of Bob Balaban in Midnight Cowboy). LJ says he guesses he’s dude’s daddy now. Dude threatens to go to the police, but LJ says he’ll claim dude tried to rape him and took advantage. Dude is going to take the cards that LJ is letting him have, and get him ten grand. Dude says he’s not from there, but LJ tells him to figure it out quick. He takes dude’s ID, saying If he doesn’t, he’ll be on the news for taking advantage of a young kid. Dude says she really wanted it, but LJ says, not today, and leaves.

Oscar’s phone rings. It’s Jim, who says the money isn’t in his account. Oscar says, it is; he’s looking at the confirm. Jim doesn’t give a rat’s ass; he has no money. Oscar asks if Jim is playing games to get out of giving him the commission. Jim asks for the number, and Oscar says, it’s the Cryer Company. Jim says that’s not the account number he sent, and tells Oscar to check his text. Oscar says, sh*t; he’s right. He’ll have to call the bank and try to sort it out. Jim says he’d better do it now. Oscar wonders what the Cryer Company is. Jim doesn’t know, but it’s not his. Oscar hangs up and says, dammit! That’s what Candace was doing. Yep.

Kathryn tells Jim they need to talk about Wyatt. He says they always need to talk about Wyatt. They tried to cover up his crime, and he turned on them. Now that they have his money, he’s going to be madder. Jim says they can’t cover it up; he needs to pay for this. These are Malones, and they’ll kill him. Kathryn asks who the Malones are (really? and she’s from a prominent family?), and Jim says, the mob; they’re not playing around. These people don’t give a second chance. Wyatt is as good as dead. Kathryn says she’ll talk to him, and try to reach him. Jim says she’s been trying for twenty-seven years; good luck. She says he’s her only living child. She has to try. Jim says Wyatt is his only living child too. He tells her to knock herself out, but not to get her hopes up. She says she always has hope.

Hanna and Derek finish watching a movie. She says, good choice, and thanks him for dinner. He asks if she’s putting him out. She says it wasn’t planned, and she has work to do. He tells her it’s hard to leave. He doesn’t know what it is, but it’s like he knows her, and don’t act like she doesn’t feel it. She says she’s enjoying him, but they agreed to take it slow. She kisses him goodbye, and Benny walks in, saying, not this again. Derek leaves, and Hanna tells Benny he has business upstairs. Benny says Hanna let he stay, but Hanna says he shouldn’t have brought her. He’s too old to be laying with a girl and letting go. He says she’s too old to have a dude slobbering over her. He doesn’t like Derek. Hanna says he wouldn’t like anyone she dated, and go deal with Melissa. There’s a knock at the door.

Candace asks if she’s here, and suggests she and Benny talk outside. He tells her there’s no need, and she can talk in front of their mom. She says she wants to stop, but she needs to talk in private. Hanna says Benny will just tell her anyway, but leaves. Candace says Benny is the only one she trusts. She needs him to hold some money in his account. Hers is being watched, and she has to move it; it’s legit. He asks if she means like his tow yard and house were legit. He knows it’s one of her tricks and he’ll regret it, but says, fine. She says it’s a few thousand, and to text the number. He tells her that he has $85 in there, and needs it. She promises not to take it, and he texts the number.

Hanna comes back and asks what Candace wanted, but Benny says, nothing important. He asks for the car. Hanna says as soon as he tells her, and he says he’ll call Mitch. She tells him he has to do something about this girl. He slept with her, she’s pregnant and put out; he’s not leaving her on the street. He says it’s not his baby or problem. Melissa is suddenly there, and says, that’s right; she’s not. Hanna says she’s not a problem; she’s in a situation. Benny asks why Hanna is being nice to her, and Hanna makes him apologize. She says he will help her, because someone did for them when she was pregnant with him. A stranger helped until she got on her feet, and they’re going to help Melissa. Melissa doesn’t mean to be a burden. Hanna says she’s not, and they’ll figure it out when Benny gets back. Benny drops the loan shark money he’s been carrying, and Hanna wants to know where he got it. Melissa says it’s hers; she didn’t want Veronica to take it, so she gave it to Benny to hold. Hanna says she can get a place then. Melissa says she can, and Benny hands her the money. As soon as Hanna is gone, Melissa teases him, saying she’s not giving it back, but she does. He says when he gets back, they’ll look into getting her a place. She calls him big daddy, and says he’s got enough money.

On the phone with the bank, Wyatt says they’re supposed to protect his money. There’s a knock at the door, and Kathryn comes in. She sees he hasn’t calmed down. She tells him that his father has the money; it’s for his own good. He’s incapable of handling it. He’s high and angry; let them help him. He says they’re going to jail. He’s testifying against them. She says he left a man dead in a bar. Wyatt says he’ll tell the police that his dad covered it up. If he goes down, so does Jim. Kathryn asks why he can’t pull it together, and he says it’s because his parents try to control him. Kathryn says they’re trying to help, and he says, then give him the money. She refuses, and he tells her for his sake, and Amanda’s, she should leave. He wishes the cancer had killed her. She asks how he knew, and he says he knows a lot of things. If he can’t bury them in prison, he’ll kill them. She says he doesn’t mean that, and he tells her to stay there and see. She walks out, and he says, don’t come back.

There’s a knock at Candace’s door. It’s Gia, followed by Rocky and LJ, Rocky says they shouldn’t be seen together. Candace says she knows that; that’s why they’re in the room. She tells them she’s getting out of the game. Rocky says she started it, but she says she can’t do it forever. She came up. Rocky asks, how, and she says it’s not their concern. Gia asks what she’s supposed to do; Candace taught her how to do what she does. Candace tells them to keep doing what she taught them. Make it bigger, and grow it. That’s it; she’s out. She tells them to keep the money from last time, and Rocky says she really must have come up. LJ asks how they can follow in her footsteps. Candace tells Gia that Jim is a sure thing; the well runs deep with money. Work it; stick with him. LJ isn’t down with the guys, and she says he must know plenty of women; older, desperate, rich, and lonely. Make this make sense. She tells them to leave now, but she’ll always be there for information. LJ says they had something going; they were making real money. She tells him to pace himself. Impatience is his problem. When Gia and LJ are gone, Rocky says they were in this together, and he wants his cut. She says he took a picture. How much does he think it’s worth? Thirty bucks?  He says she’s really going to be like this, and she says she is. She tells him to get out, and make sure don’t say a word. She asks if his visa is still intact. She says they’re hustlers. There’s no honor in the game. Rocky says he’ll remember that. When she’s alone, Candace says, she’s out.

David and Erika say a bunch of boring stuff. She tells him she needs a break. She’s had more sex in the past week than in her entire life. It’s been good, but too much. He tells her that he’s sorry. The only woman he’s ever been with is – Erika says, don’t say her name; she’ll appear. He says, that woman is the only one he’s been this intimate with, but she’s different, better. He tells her to hold on, and goes downstairs. Erika follows.

David says he needs to check something. He feels around the furniture and knickknacks, and pulls something out of a vase. Erika asks if it’s a bug, and he says it is, and it’s not the only one. He keeps checking, and finds two more. Erika wonders if there are any others, and he says, possibly. Erika says, she’s ruthless; he knows how to pick them. He says he picked her, but she’s the right one. He says they’re probably being listened to, and Erika prompts him to go upstairs. He thought she needed a break, but she says it’s never too much when she’s with him. They hear an explosion out front.

Outside, both cars are on fire. Erika says, she’s really insane, and David says, she doesn’t know the half of it. Veronica drives away, and Erica calls the fire department.

Benny goes to the dive bar, and sees the dead dealer on the floor. He asks if the guy is all right, but a dude comes out, and says they’re not open until seven. He asks what Benny is doing there, and sees the dead guy. Benny says he didn’t do it. The guy pulls out a gun, telling him not to move. He’s calling the police.

Next time, Oscar confronts Candace, Justin threatens Jeffrey, and Veronica comes on to Derek. No, Derek, no.

Below Deck Mediterranean

Captain Sandy says Hannah isn’t being fair, doing preference sheets for the next charter, while there are still guests on board from this one. Hannah tells her that she was up until four getting the dents and dirt from the guests’ heels out of the carpet. She promises she’s trying her best, and leaves in tears. In her interview, the captain says the client is paying money for the full attention of the crew. Breakfast is cleared, and the garbage is taken out. Hannah cries in the bathroom. In her interview, she says to be spoken to that way after 18-hour days, and provisioning when she should be sleeping, is bullsh*t.

The guests get ready to leave. Hannah tells the stews to strip the beds when they’re gone. One guest wonders why her stuff isn’t fitting in the suitcase now. I identify, but that’s usually because I bought a bunch of crap. Captain Sandy calls the crew to the deck for goodbyes. In her interview, Captain Sandy says Jennifer didn’t complain, but she must have noticed breakfast service was bad. Jennifer says they had a good time, even if she didn’t get to see Sandy drive. She gives the captain an envelope, and it’s twenty minutes to the tip meeting.

The captain says she usually starts on a high note; however, this was the worst breakfast service ever in her experience on charters. She tells Adam is was thirty minutes before she got her omelet, and she didn’t get her toast until after sh was finished. Breakfast is the start of the day, and sets the mood for the client. In her interview, Hannah thinks Captain Sandy is frustrated because she didn’t get to drive the boat, and show her friends what she could do. Adam says, what about the dinner, but the captain isn’t having it. In his interview, Adam says he carried the charter, and a piece of toast negated twenty-eight meals. We see the mass quantity of things he had to cook and bake. The captain says it was the deck, as well as the interior. Not having the tender was a big one. She doesn’t want to have to tell Conrad what he needs to do. The tip is 12,000 euros. I miss how much that is each because my mind goes blank when she says euros.

On the bridge, Adam tells Captain Sandy that it has nothing to do with him; the toast was ready. She asks if he didn’t get the order, and he says they were coming late. Hannah overhears, and says it’s a crock of sh*t. If Adam is going to throw the interior under the bus, she’ll throw him twice as fast, and he’ll be hit twice as hard. The captain tells Adam that he took it personally. It’s not like she said he sucked at making toast. The crew cleans up. Conrad tells Kasey about his scars and injuries, because she likes scars. Adam says he has some from chicken pox.

The crew gets ready to go out. Cool. Here’s where they get drunk and stupid. They go to a sushi place. Brooke almost mistakes soy sauce for a shot. João swills wine, while saying as long as he sticks to gin and tonics, he’ll remember everything. In her interview, Kasey says he’s flirting with her and Brooke, but she keeps thinking of the guy he could be. Well, move on from those thoughts, because he’s not going to be. Adam says it’s a good restaurant; the service is excellent. Hannah excuses herself, annoyed by his comment.

Conrad follows Hannah, who tells him about Adam lying to the captain, and calling him rude and disrespectful. She says she’s letting it go or it will be an issue next charter. In her interview, she says she picks her battles with Adam. We find out Kasey plays the violin. João says he likes both Brooke and Kasey. Outside, Conrad tells Hannah about his father who was an example of what not to be. He blamed Conrad for the marital problems with Conrad’s stepmother. He and Hannah hug, and they go back in. The crew goes back to the boat. What? No drunken nightmarish rants?

Hannah sits on the deck, and Conrad joins her. They agree they like talking to each other. In his interview, Conrad says he sees another side to Hannah. It’s soft and nice, but you don’t screw the crew. She asks if they’re buddies, and he says he likes her. He takes a while to warm up. He kisses her on the cheek and hugs her; then moves in for a real kiss. I dunno. This could end badly.

Kasey says leaving the dock is her make it or break it moment. If she gets sick, she’ll have to leave, even though she doesn’t want to. Kasey calls João a wild card, and he calls her a mind f*ck. Brooke likes him, but sees them flirting. She reminds herself that she said she needed space, whether she half-meant it or not. Hannah tells Kasey not to put her delicates in the dryer again. Oh hell no.

The primary’s name is Honey, and she’s having a birthday with her closest friends and family. She’s kosher, and Adam says kosher meat is super expensive. It’s not just a diet, it’s a diet and religion. Honey also wants a Great Gatsby themed party. The guests are all big tequila drinkers, and have requested 1942. I wouldn’t know one tequila from another, since I hate tequila. The usual water toys are requested as well. Supplies are ordered and picked up. Hannah thinks the guests will be high maintenance, and she doesn’t trust vegans. One is vegan, and she doesn’t trust vegans. João asks Kasey if Jamie is helping her, but she hasn’t seen Jamie. Apparently, she overslept, so he hunts her down and gets on her for not working when rest of them are, telling her that she has an attitude problem. He says if Conrad isn’t there, he needs to know what she’s doing. In her interview, she wishes instead of being cocky, he’d just find her and tell her that she’s needed. She forgets, that would be the mature thing.

Brooke says she’s a hopeless romantic. I have to say it – and Kasey is just hopeless. BA-DUM-CHH! Brooke’s grandparents were married at sixteen, and have been together for a million years. Jamie cries on the dock, and Hannah sits by her. She’d been talking to her mom on the phone, and tells Hannah that she tries so hard. Hannah says she’s superwoman, and saved her ass. In her interview, Jamie says being the only female, it’s hard to keep up with the egos. Her parents run an auto shop together, and she says the workers still only went to her father when they had questions. Hannah gives her a hug, and tells her how great she is, and not to let anyone tell her different.

Hannah tells Conrad about the incident, that Jamie accidentally fell asleep, and João acted like an ass. The meat is delivered. In his interview, Adam says he once had a kosher guest who insisted that all meat products be removed from boat. The meat was worth a lot of money, and this has him nervous. Brooke reads out loud from a romance story. Conrad talks to João and Jamie. João whines that Jamie slept in extra, and Conrad says in the future, come to him. João is there to make sure the work gets done when Conrad isn’t around, but he’s not to tell someone off. Conrad is the one who dishes out the sh*t, João says Conrad talks about the hierarchy, but he doesn’t give João the status when he’s off the boat. Brooke is excited about Conrad and Hannah’s kiss. She thinks they’re a cute couple. Hannah hopes it doesn’t blow up in her face. In her interview, Hannah says yacht crushes aren’t a normal situation where you can date. The crew unloads the slide, and Captain Sandy says, team work makes the dream work, because she’s tired of using, let’s knock it out of the park. Brooke talks to Adam about a scouting party she’s planning. She likes chefs because they’re passionate and sensitive. Or in Adam’s case, immature and too sensitive.

The guests arrive, and ask for tequila shots instead of champagne, but it’s the wrong kind. The tequila is Don Julio, and Hannah says, note to self, there’s more than one 1942 out there. Again, I wouldn’t know. The luggage is brought in. The guests demand a tour, and ask if no one cares about them anymore. One guest asks if anyone cares that she has to pee. First the tequila, now this. Rich people’s problems. Hannah brings them chilled shots, and gives the tour. It’s always the part where I want to move permanently on to the boat. Honey is nervous about the food, and wants to talk to Adam. They’re ready to roll.

Honey explains that if she eats poultry or meat, she can’t have dairy for several hours. No one else is kosher. Adam gives suggestions. Hannah asks Kasey to clear the bar. Kasey says the medication is making her feel like a zombie. Hannah is calling about the tequila, and the guests whine that no one is there to help them unpack. The weather is fabulous, and the water as blue as possible. João suggests Kasey eat some bread. She tells herself not to be sick. Seeing the villages on the hills is breathtaking.

Conrad and Colin drop anchor. Colin says a yacht anchor is heavier than those on other boats, and can cause damage. Brooke announces lunch is ready. The guests say they’ll be drinking tequila with everything. As always, the table is beautifully set, in green with a touch of gold. One dude gripes about having Chinese chicken salad for lunch, and asks about the ETA on the 1942 tequila. Another guest wants to know what kind of lunch Chinese chicken salad is. I’ll remember that the next time I order it. Honey says they’re starving, and want pasta. Captain Sandy asks Adam how it’s going, and he says, apparently, it’s a five-course lunch. He makes some massive bowls of rigatoni, and pasta with shrimp for Honey. Someone else wants Alfredo sauce, and Adam says he’s never had this many ridiculous orders. The vegan guest wants to stay there and eat all day. Crap. I can’t even keep up with the requests. Adam needs Hannah to deal with the guests. Conrad tells them the slide will be loud when they set it up. João knows exactly how to do it, and thinks Conrad doesn’t know how. Honey eats three bites of the pasta and is full.

Hannah can’t believe how slowly Kasey is washing the dishes, and is going to lose her mind. She says Kasey doesn’t get the speed they need to work at. Captain Sandy says it’s not about coddling Adam, but giving him support. A guest bombards Adam with questions about dinner, and Adam says he’s just trying to follow the preference sheets as closely as possible. The captain says he’s one guy, and most boats have a set menu, and only provide for that. The guest admits that it could be they didn’t say enough, and asks for a surf and turf dinner. Then adds another 45,000 things, including a cake for Honey’s birthday. Adam says he’s screwed.

The guests use the water toys. Captain Sandy sends Conrad to pick up provisions. Hannah snatches the tequila from his hand as soon as he gets back. Adam says everyone eats something different, and half of them don’t eat same thing. He’s running out of pots,

Conrad says the guests want everything, then change their minds ten minutes later. In her interview, Hannah says she’s tired of emotionally unavailable guys. Conrad is a nice change. The guests ask to delay the dinner from 9 pm to 9:30. Adam hates these people, and says Hannah is a space cadet, making a bad situation worse. Brooke flirts with Colin, who pleads guilty of having a crush on her. He says she’s a breath of fresh air. They good around and look at photos. Hannah asks Kasey to do some chores, and wants to throw in some Adderall to get her moving.

Adam has just plated some incredible tuna tartare, and the guests are late. Hannah thinks she should have married for money when she was younger. Brooke says she could live in a van if she loved someone. It’s almost 11 pm, and Adam wonders why Hannah can’t manipulate the guests. Seriously, wtf? Hannah says there’s no sign of the guests.

Next time, João thinks Kasey is hot, Brooke thinks Adam is cute, a fire alarm sounds, and Captain Sandy is pissed.

💵 On Sell It Like Serhant, Ryan helped Jen, a struggling skincare salesperson at Scrubz in Farmingdale, Long Island. She wasn’t making a connection with the customers, had no enthusiasm, was withdrawn, and had terrible eye contact. Even better, she was living with her boyfriend’s mother, who was also her boss. Ryan had never seen anyone who needed his help more, but Jen resisted his help the most of anyone. He told her that when she told him off and walked away, it was the most powerful he’d seen her. She finally explained that her father had passed away two years ago. They were very close, especially since he’d been sick for years. He was also the glue who held the family together, and once he died, the world felt different, and was never going to be the same again. When they should have come together, the family fell apart. Ryan taught her communication skills, and how to steer a customer to the right product. She gained confidence, and not only did her boss keep her, she offered to set up Jen with her own business within the business. She’d already been doing facials, and would be adding waxing and makeup, as well as getting commission on any product she sold while performing services. Ryan wasn’t sure what happened, but said it was awesome. Jen allowed herself to be her again. Jen said Ryan helped her realize she can do anything if she puts her mind to it, and she knew her dad would be proud. Ryan finally got me choked up when he said he didn’t want anyone to feel the way Jen had, and he started to get teary. He says it made him feel good that she doesn’t have to feel that way, and it was the whole reason he did the show in the first place. This was the finale, and I hope they give it another season. It’s a feel-good show, without being sappy, and I can’t think of a better guy to have this gig.

😵 Have I Slept Yet…?