What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

 

 

Once Upon a Time – Two-hour Finale

A guy runs through the forest. He’s being chased by something large. He goes into a cabin, and tells a little girl that she has to run and make sure it stays safe. He says she may be the realm’s only hope to escape the darkness. He tells her that she has to get to safety and share the stories; he’ll stay and fight. She says no one will believe her, but he says someday they will. She leaves, and he draws his sword. Something huge bursts through the door.

In Storybrooke, the Black Fairy’s curse has arrived. Hook wonders where it’s taking them, and Emma says wherever it is, they’ll win.

Henry sits on a roof – alone. He goes down to the street. He sees Archie with Pongo. He asks what the Black Fairy’s curse did, and Archie says he thought they were past all this, and asks if he needs to make an appointment. Henry asks where his mom is, and Archie says the same place she’s been for the last two years.

Emma paints in a class. A nurse comes in and says her son is there for a visit. Yeah, thought so. She’s in a psyche ward. They hug. He says he couldn’t find the rest of their family. She tells him that she’s fought for her progress, and she’s not going down that road again. She says none of them are real, there’s no curse, and it’s just a regular town. Henry tells her that this is how the Black Fairy cursed her, but she says she just wants to get well. She says he tried to prove the stories were real by eating a poisoned apple turnover, and ended up in the hospital, but Henry says that’s not the way it went. The nurse brings Emma’s medication, but Henry doesn’t want her to take it. He shows her the book. She says his mother is going to make him stop visiting if he doesn’t knock it off.

The Black Fairy (Fiona in this realm) approaches. She takes the book, saying that nothing but trouble comes from it. She tells Henry to get to school. He hugs Emma, and whispers in her ear, saying whatever Fiona wants her to do, don’t. He leaves, and Fiona tells Emma to take her medicine. She does.

Everybody else is waking up on a palace floor, dressed in their back-in-the-day outfits. Hook calls for Emma, but Regina says she’s gone. David says it’s their palace. Snow adds that it’s where they got married right before they were cursed. She says curses have never stopped them before.

Archie and Fiona meet with Emma. Fiona says as mayor, she’s concerned about her residents, but Emma says she’s fine. Fiona says Archie’s reports are encouraging, and there may be a release soon. She suggests Emma go back to Boston. She says that she’s not just concerned about Emma’s well-bring, but Henry’s. Emma might be Henry’s biological mother, but now Fiona has a 14-year-old who still believes in fairytales. I guess she’s the Regina of this realm. She says the book has given her an idea. She wants Emma to burn it to show Henry that she doesn’t believe it. Emma says, sorry. She knows the stories are fake, but she doesn’t want to crush Henry. She says she’s not ready, but Fiona says the day will come. Until she’s ready to destroy the book and fantasy world, she’ll stay locked up.

The others watch in a mirror. Regina says the final battle isn’t what they thought it was. Snow says it’s a battle for Emma’s soul and hope. Zelena breezes in with some Munchkins. She escaped Oz with a magic hat. A Munchkin puts it on the ground and beams of light shoot out of it. Zelena pulls back a curtain, but there’s nothing behind it except darkness. Regina says that’s why the Black Fairy wants Emma to destroy the book. As her hope fades, the realms will be erased. Everything starts to shake, and Regina says the realms will be destroyed, along with everything in them.

Fiona visits Gold’s shop. She’s checking to see that everything is as it should be. Gold and Gideon are there. She tells them that she’s brought lunch and a job – her watch has stopped. Gideon takes the lunch in the back, and Gold thanks her. She feels badly for Gideon, and says she’s always concerned when someone has lost their mother. She talks about how sad it is, and says she’ll be back for the watch; she knows she can count on him. She tells him she’s always there to help.

More characters gather at the palace. Aladdin and Jasmine are there. David says the more Emma loses faith, the more realms disappear. Hook thinks he has a theory of where to look for Emma. Regina says what they need is magic; it’s time for her to go to work. Everyone disappears, poof! in some swirls of purple smoke. They appear at Regina’s palace, and she says that she’s getting Henry and Emma back, no matter what it takes.

In her room, Emma does pull-ups with a box spring, a la Sarah Connor in The Terminator. Henry walks in to help her escape. He’s drawn up a plan.

Hook sees a beanstalk in the woods. David shows up, and Hook wonders how David found him. David tells him next time he sneaks off, make sure no Munchkins are around. Apparently, they’re easily bribed. Hook wants to climb the beanstalk and get back to his wife. He says during their first adventure, his motives were less than chivalrous, but they’ve both changed. They fought for their love and won. He has to climb the beanstalk and find the bean. He’s not losing everything because of a bitter fairy. David gets that he’s scared, but tells him to take a deep breath. They’ll climb together.

Henry takes Emma to a roof. He says it’s the last place she saw her family and remembered that she’s the Savior. She says that isn’t real, and he’s not going to convince her that her mother is Snow White. He says she married Captain Hook right here, and she asks if Tinkerbelle officiated. He says no, Jiminy Cricket did. He tries to get her to remember, and she flashes back to kissing Hook at the ceremony. She says she’s been in a mental hospital for years and can’t trust her brain. He says she has to fight. She tells Henry that she doesn’t want to, she just wants to go home to Boston. He says she can’t leave, but she says it’s not forever. He says fine, but it will be safer if she leaves after dark; he knows where Archie keeps the car keys. He says she’s his mom, and he’ll always want to help her; she doesn’t deserve to be locked up. He tells her he’ll be back in an hour, and promises she’ll have the life she always wanted.

Gold looks for something. He pulls out the book that Belle gave to Gideon, Her Handsome Hero. He tells Gideon that he knows it’s not easy to talk about Belle, but she wanted him to have the book. Gideon says that Fiona has been more of a mother to him. Gold asks how much he remembers. Gideon says only what he already told him; she was going to the store, and never came back. Gold says maybe they don’t know the whole story. His mother wouldn’t leave without good reason. Gideon tells him not to rationalize; she didn’t love them, but they don’t need her to have a happy life. He says Gold refuses to see it. Gold says no matter what happened between them, Belle would always want to be part of his life.

Regina stirs a cauldron, while Zelena looks for the ingredients, but they seem to be out of everything. The Evil Queen storms in, and is shocked to find that Regina is back. Regina says, so she’s the one who’s been squatting in her castle. The Evil Queen says she lives there. Everyone there thought she murdered Snow and Charming. After three days of angry villagers, she decided to move into the palace. She says she and Robin turned over a new leaf. Now they steal from rich and give to poor – mostly anyway. Regina says they’re having a bit of a fairy problem.

Fiona finds out that Emma is gone from the hospital.

Henry sneaks around Archie’s office. He finds his story book. Fiona walks in. She tells him that there’s no reason to pretend; they both know she’s not his mother. She says she knows everything. Henry asks what she’s going to do, put him in the crazy house too? She says he’s more useful here. There’s still a speck of belief in Emma that refuses to die off. He says there’s nothing she can do to stop it, and Fiona says there’s something he can do. She zaps him down the stairs, and he lies at the bottom, unconscious.

While watching the ambulance take Henry away, Fiona tells Gold that Henry broke into Archie’s office and tumbled down the stairs. Gold thinks he’s resilient and will be fine. He wants her to reopen the investigation into Belle’s disappearance. She asks why tear open old wounds, and he says they never healed. Gideon needs to know the truth; Belle wouldn’t abandon him for no reason.

Hook and David enter the giant’s castle. The see a humongous dinner table laden with humongous food. Hook says he’s a pirate and has swung from plenty of masts, so he’ll go up. He shimmies up a table leg and wanders among huge sausages and enormous grapes. He sees the bean pod in a display case. He tells David he thinks he found something. He uses a massive knife to smash the glass. He snatches the pod and gets the bean, which is normal-sized, but looks like it’s made of crystal. Everything starts to shake, and Hook says the giant has been woken. A dragon suddenly appears, and starts breathing fire everywhere.

Gold and Fiona sit in her car. Fiona tells Gold she hasn’t been completely honest. She wanted to save them the heartbreak. She shows him pictures of Belle in various vacation spots like she’s that garden gnome. Gold says she wanted to see the world. Fiona says just not with him. She says he’s the one who caused Gideon pain; he couldn’t be the man Belle wanted him to be. She says he can still be the man Gideon needs, and move on. He says it was illuminating, thanks her, and gets out of the car. She looks at the book and finds Henry’s notes, written in runes. She wonders what Henry knows.

Emma visits Henry in the hospital. Fiona says he was trying to steal the book and escape, when he fell down the stairs. Emma says he lied, and he says Fiona is lying – she pushed him. Fiona shows Emma the security footage, asking how she could push him without touching him, but Henry says she used magic. He tells Emma to just touch the book. She takes it, but nothing happens. She says he’s not a kid anymore. It’s not a daring rescue operation. Fiona says what if next time, he breaks his neck instead of his arm? He’s hurting himself to make Emma believe his delusions. Emma says this has to stop. Fiona says she knows what to do. Henry tells Emma to just believe in him. She says believing doesn’t make it true, and he says that’s exactly what it does. He tells her not to go, and that it’s the final battle, but she leaves with Fiona.

David and Hook climb down the beanstalk, but everything starts to shake.

Fiona takes Emma to God knows where, and opens a furnace.

David tells Hook that he thinks they need a bigger boat have a bigger problem than the dragon.

Emma moves toward the furnace. Fiona says go on; only she can save their son. She puts the book in the flames.

The beanstalk sways wildly. The book burns. Emma sees Hook’s picture. The others gather on the palace balcony, while crazy clouds fill the sky. Regina thinks they may be too late. Emma stares at Hook’s picture as it’s consumed by flames.

⚔ Part Two ⚔

The little girl from the beginning walks through the forest with the book. She finds her father’s sword. Tiger Lily appears, and tells her not to cry. She asks where her father is. Tiger Lily doesn’t know, but knows he fought valiantly. She says the book is safe, and they have to bring it to the girl’s mother. Tiger Lily tells her that the future is cloudy, but she and her father will be reunited. She needs to learn the lesson imparted by the book.

Fiona brings Henry the burned book on a food tray like it’s the dead rat in Whatever Happened to Baby Jane? She says whatever hope Emma clung to has been destroyed, along with the book. Henry doesn’t believe it completely. He says they won’t let her win. She says that his family won’t exist long enough to save themselves, let alone his mother.

David and Hook cling to the beanstalk. Hook falls. David is next. Snow says something is wrong. Regina asks where, but she doesn’t know. Jasmine says, let’s find them, and calls the magic carpet. They find Hook in the mess of the beanstalk. He says they managed to get it, and shows them the bean. David is nowhere. and Snow says she’ll find him. She tells Hook to get to Emma, and make her believe again.

Emma is ready to leave. Henry asks if this is what she wants. She says this is why she has to go; he believes this nonsense. She says it’s clear now. Coming to Storybrooke wasn’t good for either of them. It sent them on a dangerous path. Henry says the Black Fairy did it; Emma really doesn’t believe. She says there’s nothing to believe, and tells him good-by. She goes off in her VW bug.

Emma arrives back at her old place in Boston. A notebook tumbles out of her tote bag. There’s a note on it from Henry saying that he knows she doesn’t think the story is true, but they can still have a happy ending. Emma gets a call to come back to work. She looks through the book. It’s a new story about how true love broke the curse.

Regina looks at the bean, and it’s turned black. Emma’s lack of belief is sapping the magic from everything. Regina says she doesn’t have enough power to fix it, but Zelena says between her, Regina and the Evil Queen, they can do it.

Snow looks for David in the forest. She finds him under some beanstalk fronds. He seems to be dead, and she cries, saying please no. She kisses him. He opens his eyes. Flashback to the reverse, when he woke her with a kiss. He says she found him, and she asks if he doubted it. He says the beanstalk that fell on him gave him pause. She tells him that darkness never wins; it just pulls you into believing it does. They say I love yous, and David says, let’s go.

Henry goes to Gold’s shop. He starts to go into the back, and Gold says it’s closed to customers. Henry says he’s not a customer, he’s Gold’s grandson. He goes in the back where there’s a potion brewing. Henry says Gold is awake; he knows magic when he sees it. He asks why Gold has been pretending. Gold says he doesn’t trust his mother. He wasn’t supposed to end up like this without Belle; she betrayed him again. He wants to find out her true intentions. He doesn’t believe Belle ran off; the Black Fairy would have kept her for leverage. Henry says he has to help him save their family, then they can find Belle. Gold says that all he cares about is Belle. Henry says at least let him take something that can help.

Henry talks into a mirror, hoping the others can hear him. He says he tried to keep Emma from losing belief, but it wasn’t good enough. That doesn’t mean he’s going on without a fight. He pulls out a sword, and says if no one else can go up against the Black Fairy, he will.

Zelena says the magic is there. David wants everyone to get to safety. Regina sees the Evil Queen going toward a window, and asks what she’s doing. She says that she’s going to hold it off as long as she can. She tells Regina to take the others to the center of the castle, where they should be able to survive. Henry is her son too, and he needs one of them. She zaps purple lightning bolts at the oncoming clouds. Regina gathers everyone and tries to make a purple fire ball, but it’s weak.

Everything starts to crumble. Everyone looks at each other, and for a moment, I think Regina and Zelena are going to kiss. The clouds get bigger, darker, and closer.

Henry goes to the Storybrooke town hall. Emma joins him. She tells him that she found the book he left. She says she’s not sure she’s the Savior, but it’s who she wants to be. She doesn’t remember the crazy stuff he told her, but she believes it.

Everything stops. The group is left on a cliff, only the center of the palace room remaining. Regina asks what happened. Snow says Emma is back.

Her Handsome Hero plops down from the sky in front of a house. Gold goes inside. He calls for Belle. He finds her hiding next to the stove in the kitchen. She says she doesn’t want to leave, and runs into another room. She doesn’t know why he knows her name. He says the Black Fairy changed her, but he promises her that he’ll make the fairy pay.

Fiona comes into Gold’s shop. She tells Gideon that Emma Swan is back. He’s confused, and she says she needs her fairy wand. He wants to call his father, but she says that’s the last thing she needs, and Gideon hangs up the phone. He wonders why he did that when he didn’t want to, and Fiona says she still has his heart; he has to do what she says. She needs the wand to translate Henry’s runes, which hold the key to winning the final battle. Gideon finds the wand. Fiona says it’s been centuries since she felt its power.

She zaps the page of runes, and they decipher. She tells Gideon it’s time to get to work.

Emma wanders around with a sword.

Gold enters his shop. Fiona says she’s there to get her watch. He says, no she’s not, and calls her “mother.” She says she separated him from Belle for his own good. Belle would have convinced him to go against his own dark instincts. When the final battle is over, she can make them love him, even if he’s the Dark One; he can have it all. He says he can’t, and all she cares about is herself. She says she’s worked tirelessly to reunite them. They can be a family again, and not just Belle and Gideon. She’ll be able to bring back the dead – his first son. All his desires can be had. Gold says he must have it all, and they hug. He says there’s just one problem – all magic comes with a price. He flips her around, and holds a dagger to her throat. He says he’s not willing to pay, and she’s going to suffer because of Belle and Gideon. She says she learned that darkness can’t snuff out the light; only light can snuff out light. He says she has Gideon’s heart, and she commanded him to kill the Savior. Not even her death can stop it, and will probably ensure it. Gold says there’s one way to find out. He zaps her, and she turns to dust.

Gold drops the dagger. A wave comes over everything, like when you see heat rising from a highway. At the town hall in regular Storybrooke, Emma remembers everything. Gideon appears, and says just in time, Savior. Emma tells Henry to go.

Belle runs into Gold’s shop. She says the curse is broken, and he tells her that he killed the Black Fairy. She asks where Gideon is. He says still under her control, but Henry might know.

Gideon advances on Emma. Henry bops him in the head with a fire extinguisher. They run, but when Gideon tries to follow, he’s stopped by a spell. Emma says it won’t hold long. She and Henry jet.

Belle and Gold look for Gideon’s heart in a cave. Belle twists her ankle, and she tells him to go ahead.

Back out on the street, Henry says they lost Gideon, but he won’t be far behind. They’re both happy about the curse being broken. The others show up, and Emma tells Hook, some honeymoon.

Gold finds a chest with a heart in it.

Regina says it’s a trap. Either way light will be destroyed. She tells Emma to hold Gideon off until Gold gets his heart. There’s always a third way. She takes Emma aside. She says when she first came to Storybrooke, they hated each other, but she found a third way – they were both Henry’s mother. Today she saw her evil half be selfless. She saved them all, and Regina never saw it coming. She says Emma hasn’t seen it yet, but she will. Emma says it sounds like she’s talking about hope, and Regina says Emma didn’t give up on her. Emma asks what she should do, and Regina says she’ll know when the time comes.

Gideon grabs Snow and holds a knife to her throat. Emma says to let her go, and he does. She circles him. He looks at her like he smelled something bad.

Gold talks to the heart, telling Gideon not to kill Emma. Rumpel appears, and tells him that if Emma dies, he can have it all. They can get everything – love and power. He tells Gold to put the heart down, and let their boy finish his mission. Gold says he won’t betray his family. He’s going to do the right thing; he was destined to be a Savior. Rumpel says in this new world, they’ll change the rules. Gold says that’s not happening, and tells the heart not to kill Emma. The heart turns dark, and Rumpel asks if he thought it would be easy. He might want to do the right thing, but we don’t always get what we want. Mick Jagger sings in my head.

Gideon tells Emma that no one is going to save her. They duel with their swords. She says no one needs to save her; she’s the Savior. She does some nice kick moves. She tells Gideon that ultimately, she’s a hero and light. She won’t kill anything; she’ll give hope – no matter what the cost. She drops the sword. Hook is like, nooo! but the others hold him back. Gideon looks sick. He says he was hoping she’d save them both. He runs the sword through her. Streams and bubbles of light come spraying out of her and go all over.

Gold tells Belle that he failed her and their family. He made the right choice, but it didn’t work out. Belle hugs him.

Everyone runs to Emma, who is lying in the middle of the street. Henry kisses her forehead, saying he loves her. Rainbows pulsate everywhere. She opens her eyes, and says that she loves him too. Everybody rejoices, and there’s a group hug.

Belle and Gold hear a baby cry. That’s because a baby has suddenly appeared in the cave. They see he’s also brought reading material – Her Handsome Hero. It’s Gideon. Gold says, a fresh start and happy ending, but Belle changes that to happy beginning.

Snow picks up Henry’s book and gives it to him. He looks at the last page, and it says, faith was restored and the final battle was won. Emma says, there’s no the end, and Snow says it isn’t the end. Maybe it is of this book, but not the end end.  Emma says, what now? Snow tells her that living with the belief that there’s a happy ending is the most powerful thing about now. They get to keep going on, doing what they love, with the people they love; being together is happiness. We see the hands on the clock in the tower move.

Palace doors open, glittery snow is falling, fairies are flying, there’s a reindeer, a maze, and the caterpillar from Alice in Wonderland, smoking his hookah. The Evil Queen looks out from her balcony and smiles. A doormat says Welcome to the Charmings, and we pan out to Snow and David’s place, and how happy they are with their baby and dog. Emma and Regina see Henry off to school at the bus stop. Snow as Mary teaches a class with a bluebird on her finger. Emma and Hook tool around in her bug, and put a flashing red light on top so they can go fast.

The Dwarves have a surprise for Regina. They’ve put a new name on her office door at the town hall – it now says Regina Mills – Queen. In the office, she looks at an apple and smiles.

Meanwhile, in parallel enchanted world, an arrow flies through the Evil Queen’s window. It has a note and a ring attached. The note says, Ready for a new adventure?

Belle and Gold dance to the theme from Beauty and the Beast.

Everyone gathers at Granny’s, including Zelena. All of them are happy, making me wonder if the show is returning. There’s lots of laughter, and everybody sits down at a really long table. I’m thinking it’s odd that they’re all sitting on one side, but then the scene turns into a picture in a book.

The little girl is on the train reading Once Upon a Time, but it has a different cover from Henry’s book. We read: Seattle, years later. She walks down an apartment building hallway and knocks on a door. A man answers and she asks if he’s Henry Mills. She says her name is Lucy, and she’s his daughter. She says his family needs him.

🎠 Yes, the show is returning. When, they didn’t say.  This was one long episode, but it was nice how they wrapped everything up, and sort of went back to the beginning, while leaving it open for the next book. It was also very corny, but I’ve watched this show from the first episode, and I think this was the first time it made me tear up. Robert Carlyle did an especially fine job, turning Gold into the man both he and Belle wanted him to be. It was gratifying that all of the characters got a do-over. Well, except for the Black Fairy, but she got what was coming to her. Managing to be sweet and smart at the same time, I’m surprised this show caught on, but glad that it did.

🍑 In order to milk the Housewives cash cow, tonight we were presented with The Real Housewives of Atlanta: Secrets Revealed. This is a step up from when they used to call the unused scenes “Lost Footage,” like we believed they found it behind a desk somewhere. Often, they have clips that are better than the regular episodes, and it’s an enjoyable change to see them having fun, rather than pulling each other’s hair. This time we got to see one of the (few) good things about Phaedra – Ayden, aka Mr. President, one of the cutest kids ever. Of course, I don’t have to deal with him when he’s hopped up on sugar or doesn’t want a nap. We also saw more interaction between Kenya and the kids at Phaedra’s camp. There was a beautiful scene with Kenya telling them about the mother who ignores her, and how they’re not invisible. She touched one kid in a big way, and it was moving to see her comfort the sobbing boy. I also had to laugh at Peter lurking in the shadows. Cynthia’s shadows. He even had the gall to show up when she was out on a girl’s night, wanting to discuss the divorce. She ended up thanking him, which is totally like Cynthia, but she’s probably glad he’s not trying to clean her out, like suckerfish Jason Hoppy did with Bethenny. Farewell until next time, ladies (and I use the term loosely). Apparently, both NeNe Leakes and Kim Zolciak are coming back to the cast. Like the buzzards coming back to Hinckley, so do the Wives return to their original nesting grounds.

Juliet sez: Bein’ a mudder iz da bezt!