Category Archives: fantasy

Apr11

April 10, 2016 — Gaston Arrives, Cait Does NOLA, Potomac Reunion, Fear the Dead & the Shahs Return

Posted on April 11, 2016 by theresakp

What I Watched Today
(rambling, random thoughts & recaps from today’s real time TV watching)

Once Upon A Time

Belle’s father says they have a visitor, the eldest son of Lord Legume. Belle isn’t interested. Her father tells her not to be judgmental. He adds there have also been skirmishes that would be squelched by a match, but he’s just asking her to meet him. He introduces Gaston.

Gaston says it’s awkward and asks if she hates these things as much as he does. He tells her if she wants, he’ll go home and no hard feelings. Since he’s quite suave and handsome, she says a walk won’t hurt anything.

Gold looks at a Pan flute in his Underworld shop. Belle comes in and says she won’t be separated from her child and she’s decided she wants his help. Belle tells Gold to show her he can be that man, and that they can save their child and separate dark from light. She says if he wants a future with her, he has to do it her way.

Snow, Hook and Emma are in the Underworld graveyard. A cyclone is brewing and passes quickly. Hook says it’s left something behind. Suddenly, Snow disappears. Emma wakes up. It was a dream.

Hook tells her it’s the first time she’s slept since the rescue. They’re on a rooftop and see a signal. They go back to where the others are gathered, trying to get a spell off of the elevator that will take them to Hades. Emma nd Regina join forces with their magic, but nothing happens.

Emma wonders if a name is removed from a gravestone will the person be released from the Underworld. Hook and Snow say they’ll go with her. Regina says she’ll meet them there after talking to her sister. If Hades has a weakness, Zelena might know what it is.

Hades is stalking Zelena. Nothing new. He finds a daisy growing through some concrete and picks it.

Gaston is running the Underworld pet shelter. Hades goes to see him. He tells Gaston both Beauty and the Beast are there, meaning Belle and Gold. He asks if Gaston wold like a shot at revenge. He says he’s found daisies growing all over town because hope has taken root. He says when souls have hope, they move on, and he can’t have that. Hades says they must be punished, starting with Gold.

He gives Gaston some arrows and says it’s time for him to be the hunter. He’ll be hunting for the greatest prey of all — Rumpelstiltskin.

Back in the day, Gaston is impressed with Belle’s hiking abilities. She says she’s heard unflattering tales about him. He says he has a friend who enjoys embarrassing him. He says he’s spent his whole life looking for a woman of her substance.

He hears something and tells her to stay while he investigates, but she follows. He’s kneeling by an old hunting pit that an ogre has fallen into. Awww! It’s kind of cute. She says the ogre looks young. Gaston says they have to bring him back to the castle, but Belle’s afraid they’ll torture the poor thing and asks Gaston to let her handle it. He’s like, why not? and tells her to lead the way.

In the Underworld, Gold and Belle are going through spell books. He says turning darkness to light is a fool’s errand. Belle walks out. Gaston is across the street. He shoots an arrow at Gold, but Gold catches it in mid-air. Belle says there must be some other way to resolve things. Gaston says no, and shoots another arrow, but Belle and Gold disappear to the wharf.

Belle says thanks a lot for letting her know that he killed Gaston. He says Hades sent Gaston because he knows Belle won’t let Gold hurt him. Belle says they’re going to help Gaston to move on, not kill him. She says it weakens Hades when people move on, so that’s how they’re going to defeat him.

Emma, Snow and Hook are in the graveyard. The cyclone comes up again and Emma says her dream wasn’t just a dream. Emma says the cyclone has brought a monster. Snow asks what they do now and Emma says run.

Zelena is at the diner and Regina sits with her. She says Zelena’s daughter is safe. Regina says for once in their lives, maybe they can try acting like sisters, and asks what happened between Zelena and Hades. Zelena says Hades fell in love with her. Regina asks if Zelena loves Hades. She doesn’t answer and Regina asks what his weaknesses are. Zelena says as far as she knows, she’s his only weakness.

Hook wants to face the monster, but Emma says Snow died in her dream.

Belle and Gold go to the shelter. Belle asks Gold to break into Gaston’s locker. She rifles through Gaston’s stuff until she comes upon a book she once gave him. She says she’s Gaston’s unfinished business and that she can get through to him.

Old days Belle shows Gaston a record of every magical item in the kingdom. She says her mother kept it in case of emergencies. She shows him another book called Her Handsome Hero. Gaston thinks it’s a cheap romance, but Belle says no, it’s all the qualities a man should have. Gaston says he’ll read it and almost kisses her. She finds what they’re looking for in the book. They need to hold a mirror up to the ogre to reveal whether he’s innocent or not. Gaston makes her promise that if the ogre means them harm, she’ll let him take the ogre to the palace.

Hades shows up at the shelter. Belle asks what he wants. He says other than her baby? He asks her if she wants to make a deal and she says not interested. Hades says he knows she’s trying to help Gaston move on. He says he’d like the conflict between Gaston and Gold to continue. He says he wants he to let Gaston and Gold have their fight, and if one goes into the River of Lost Souls, she can keep her baby.

Regina joins Hook, Snow and Emma. She asks them why they’re in her vault. Emma says a monster is trying to kill them. Regina asks why they’re not fighting and Emma tells her about the dream. Regina says maybe the dream wasn’t literal and she has to work out some issues. Emma says it’s possible she thinks it’s her fault that everyone is trapped in the Underworld. She’s frightened that she’ll be the cause of someone’s death. Snow says she didn’t force any of them to come and that they need to face the monster together.

Gaston enters Gold’s shop. Gold is sitting at a table with his back to the door and Gaston shoots him, but it’s only a mannequin. Belle comes out and says so he would kill Gold. Gaston says it’s the only thing he cares about any more. Belle shows him the hero book she’d once given him and asks if she’s his unfinished business. Gaston says he’s tried to throw the book out a thousand times but it always comes back. He says it reminds him about how he died and it’s her fault. He says being a hero isn’t about compassion, it’s about having strength. Belle says Hades is the enemy, not Gold. She tells Gaston that Gold is her husband. Gaston says she always did have a soft spot for a monster.

Belle takes her father to the hunting pit. Gaston is knocked out nearby. He comes to and says the ogre escaped. Belle’s father says his soldiers will hunt the ogre down. Gaston asks to lead the hunting party. Belle says she’s coming too. She still wants to use the mirror in case the ogre was just being defensive. Her father tells her to go home.

Gold asks Belle what the deal was. She tells him he has to promise not to hurt Gaston. Gold promises and Belle tells him what Hades’s proposition was. She says she turned him down because she can fix this. He says he wants to be the man she needs, but it’s not going to happen today, and he disappears, poof! in a puff of smoke.

The hunting party goes after the ogre. Belle follows. They stop where the ogre tracks stop. The ogre is up in a tree and Gaston shoots it down. Gaston is about to finish the ogre off when Belle steps in. She sees Gaston in the mirror and his eyes are all red and crazy. She realizes Gaston tortured the ogre while she was gone. He says he was protecting the kingdom. Belle says the ogre isn’t the monster, Gaston is, and he’ll have to shoot her first. The ogre runs off. Gaston says he hopes she made the right decision.

Gold has Gaston suspended in the air on the wharf. Gaston tells him he’ll always be a beast. Belle comes running up and tells Gold to stop. She says she’s always known who Gold really is and that’s why she loves him. She kisses him and steals the dagger, commanding him to let Gaston go. Gaston grabs his bow and arrow to shoot Gold, but Belle turns toward him with the dagger, and he ends up in the Lake of Fire.

Way back when, Belle’s father tells her it’s war and ogres are coming. She says what she did was the right thing. She asks him if it’s occurred to him that their mistreatment of the ogres is what caused the rift in the first place, and not her mercy. He says his army is no match for theirs, but Gaston’s army could give them a chance. He wants Belle to marry Gaston.

Gaston comes in and says the kingdoms will unite (Scumps!), they’ll solve the rift, and they can rule side by side if she’ll be his queen. He holds out his hand and Belle takes it. She says she will.

Back in the Underworld, Belle tells Gold he was right. He tells her he’s sorry and he didn’t want this to happen, but she saved him and their child. Hades pops in and says the baby is still his. He says the deal was only if Gaston or Gold threw the other in the river, but since it was Belle, the deal is over.

A waitress brings Zelena a covered dish. Underneath is a dead daisy and a note from Hades.

Snow and the others hunt the monster through the forest. They find a wolf with a red cloak near it. Snow puts the cloak over the wolf and it turns into Red. She says Emma’s dream was a vision about finding her.

Next week, Zelena gets revenge, Mulan and Red work together, and Hades gets vengeance.

I Am Cait

Back on the bus. The girls are headed for New Orleans and Cait’s sister, Pam, is meeting them.

Kate says most people think that genitals make you a man or a woman, and it’s the first question people are most likely to ask. Chandi says she doesn’t mind discussing it, if it’s appropriate. Candis is like, your privates should be your privates. Cait says she has no idea what the future holds for her, but every person has a different way of being authentic for themselves. They each discuss what choices they made.

New Orleans! Bourbon Street! Jazz! The girls go out to eat and Cait tells them that Kris is coming by. Chandi says she’s surprised that Kris would want to hang around all of them when she’s still learning about Cait. Kate asks if Kris has been good to Cait. Cait says yes, but she doesn’t exactly reach out. Candis thinks it’s impressive that Kris wants to be around the whole gang.

The ladies are strolling around town and go into a bridal boutique. Candis wants to try on dresses. Candis says it’s an affirmation of what she wants. Of course she looks fabulous. Cait tries on something too and they take pictures. Cait says she’s been in three weddings with the most boring clothes ever and at last she’s comfortable.

Next is souvenir shopping. Lots of fans swarm them and take pictures. Ella says she keeps forgetting how famous Cait is and the reaction in public shocks her every time. Cait’s sister shows up in the midst of Cait dealing with the fans.

More food! I don’t know what pastry they’re eating, but it looks phenomenal. The girls talk about marriage, and Pam says when you have a failed one, you learn from your mistakes.

Cait’s hotel room looks like the cyclone from Once Upon A Time hit it. Jenny comes by and Cait sets up the camera. Jenny “interviews” her about seeing Kris. She asks when the last time was that Cait and Kris talked, and we flash back to a conversation where Kris told Cait she left her family “in the dust.” Cait says there’s 23 years of life there and there’s an element that she doesn’t understand. Cait thinks Kris sometimes gets more upset than she did when they were together. Jenny says her feelings would have been hurt had she been in Kris’s position. Jenny asks what has to happen for them to have better communication, but Cait says she doesn’t know.

The producer interviews Kris in the hotel room. Kris says she’s in New Orleans because she’s heard Cait has been somewhat MIA. Cait knocks at the door. Kris asks where the girlfriends are and Cait says they’re all having dinner later and then it’s party time. Kris asks if she’s going to need a nap. Kris says they were all wondering why they hadn’t heard from Cait, and Cait says they’ve been on the road for about a month.

Jenny and Ella goof around, doing a fake spin-off show with Cait’s video camera.

Cait brings Kris to dinner where she meets the girls. Everyone introduces themselves. When Jenny talks about being married as both man and wife, and wife and wife, Kris says Jenny’s wife is a good sport. Kris asks what’s the most annoying thing about Cait, and everyone talks about how Cait expresses her political views. Cait talks about meeting Hilary Clinton. Cait says she enjoys politics and it’s like a football game to her. Kris says that Cait sometimes gets “cranky’ (or would that be “kranky?”) with those whose political views differ from her own.

Kris says Cait is sometimes unwilling to listen to someone else’s view and meet in the middle. Everyone is jumping in and finally Kate says they outnumber Cait and don’t want to be perceived as bullying. Kris says they need that many people. Ha-ha! It does seem like Cait is being ganged up on, but she also doesn’t really seemed bothered by it.

They talk about Cait having stolen and hidden a key to Kris’s closet and Cait says she also had a copy made.

At dinner, Jenny and Candis joke about matching their napkins to their outfits. Jenny says she has an “unsightly white napkin” and requests a change. They talk about Kris’s reaction to Cait’s change from being Bruce. Jenny says her wife took it personally, and Kris says she did too. I can totally understand that, even though it isn’t personal.

Kris asks what they do what their man bits. Cait is appalled, but it’s a legitimate question. I mean, they’re certainly talking about things that are personal to Kris. Kate says it doesn’t matter what a person has, but Kris says it does to her. Chandi says all trans people don’t choose to go full on with gender reassignment surgery.

They talk about at what point Cait revealed herself to be transgender. Kris talks about how Cait told her about taking hormones in the 80s. Kris seems to think Cait told her it was for some other reason, but Cait says she did tell her she was conflicted. Jenny says maybe Kris didn’t want to listen, but maybe Cait didn’t fully explain either. Kris says she kept asking why Cait was unhappy and Cait would say Kris wouldn’t understand. Jenny says she wanted to protect the people that she loved and not cause them harm. She asks Kris if she knew then what she knows now, would they still have been married. Kris doesn’t know, but she says she would have been a good best friend. Jenny asks if she can’t be one now. Candis makes a toast to Caitlyn and Kris, pointing out that Kris is being very open in meeting with all of them.

They stroll around Bourbon Street, going bar hopping. Jenny gets up on stage to dance with Chandi and everyone is astounded, including me. I have to say, Jenny has really loosened up over the course of this trip and turned out to be more fun than I expected. Candis tells Kris how much her being there means to Cait. Kris says Cait is well on her way, and surrounded by good people.

They throw beads from the balcony. Kris tells Cait she heard Cait would like to date a guy. Cait says only if she went through with the final surgery. Cait says really though, she’s not worried about that yet. Kris says life is short and she should get a move on figuring that out.

Lots of fans outside. Someone keeps yelling “Bruce, go straight, “ and I’m confused at first, because I think it’s one of the handlers forgetting about Cait’s name change and telling her where to walk. I’m also the only person in the world who thought Brooke Shields just really liked her Calvins.

Cait feels good about the day. She says there was a little tension and thinks she should have a one-on-one with Kris before she leaves. I hope it goes better than the last one. Cait hopes she doesn’t resort to old, defensive habits, but is afraid if she doesn’t talk to Kris now, she never will. She goes to Kris’s hotel room.

Next week, the talk, Cait tells Kris she changed her birth certificate, Jenny says she’s never regreted surgery, and Candis investigates adoption.

The Real Housewives of Potomac — The Reunion, Part One

I’m cringing already. These women are rude AF on a good day. The outfits and hair are to die for though. Lots of sparkles. Gizelle has just about the biggest earrings I’ve ever seen.

Andy asks how it was, being thrust into the spotlight. Robyn says it’s still surreal, and several people have gotten personally attacked. I can understand why, although Karen says people were attacking her looks, and that’s just wrong. Especially when there’s so much else to attack her for.

Katie has no engagement ring on and says she’s returned it. Karen says she’s not surprised and Charrisse says she thinks Katie was rushing things. Karen says she would have kept and redesigned it, but not only is that just wrong, depending on the state, it might be illegal. It’s a gift in contemplation of a marriage, so if the marriage doesn’t take place, the gift is returned. Your People’s Court lesson for today.

They discuss etiquette. The discussion goes nowhere. Next is Karen’s empty nest and fabulousness, or lack thereof. We flash back to the same. They talk about her husband being the “Black Bill Gates,” which I think Karen has made up herself. They also talk about the non-gala gala that she hosted. There’s a bit of an altercation between her and Katie where Katie’s smoky eye totally wins.

Andy asks Charrisse about events in Potomac and she’s so busy giving her resume that she forgets what the question was.

Commercial break. For the record, Sultan Wok has the best crunchy noodles ever. They’re so crisp. Not like the cheap greasy ones that a lot of take-out places give you.

Is Gizelle wearing clip-ons? Hmm…those earrings are so huge, they might have to be. They talk about Ray and Karen’s marriage and I don’t want to know. It goes to the topic of Karen’s broke-down kitchen, which I actually liked. I thought of it as “retro.” We move to Andrew saying that Karen is basically an old bat, and Katie says it has nothing to do with her. When Andy says Gizelle is the word on the street, Charrisse says it must be a small street. Ha-ha! Good Lord, then it goes to how Andrew is missing part of a finger because of a car accident, which is somehow offensive to Karen.

We go down Memory Lane with Ashley. Andy asks about the restaurant and Ashley says she didn’t realize how difficult it was going to be. Which is what everyone says when they open a restaurant. Someone tweets about Ashley’s mom and her bankruptcy and why doesn’t Ashley help. Ashley says she does help and I thought it was pretty clear that she was supportive of her mother on the show. There might have been legal reasons why her mom didn’t want to be bailed out of the bankruptcy.

Andy asks if Ashley thinks the others are jealous of her. Ashley says absolutely. They talk about Ashley “humping” Robyn when they first met. Ashley says it was just silly stuff and they all need to loosen up. It’s brought up that Gizelle used the term THOT in relation to Ashley. Katie says Gizelle didn’t like Ashley from the jump. They go over Gizelle’s complaints when they stayed at Ashley’s house. Ashley says Gizelle is like Woody Woodpecker just waiting to pick at something. Andy asks if Ashley would invite them again, and she says she’d invite Katie.

We go back to Charrisse’s crab boil, and how she and Karen called Gizelle out on the carpet afterward. There is something seriously weird about Charrisse’s face, and I mean more than normal. It looks like she’s had Botox everywhere but between her eyebrows. They talk about Karen using “the help” as a derogatory word, and she says her first job was at a Burger King/Taco Bell.

Next is Karen’s birthday and how the birthday person must sit in the middle seat. Andy asks if Karen owes Charrisse an apology for creating a ruckus at the crab boil. Karen gives the old “I apologize if it offended you” and Andy calls her on it, saying it’s the classic Real Housewife non-apology apology.

Andy asks what’s up with Robyn and Juan’s relationship. We flash back with a bunch of Robyn stuff. Andy asks if Robyn would be jealous if Juan dated someone else and she says probably. He asks if she thinks they’ll get married again and she says possibly. She says she loves him, but she’s not in love with him, even though he says he’s in love with her. She says she knows it’s there, but they need counseling and more time to know each other again.

Robyn says she turned a blind eye to the infidelity, had enough and knew divorce was the only option. They move on to the friend who ripped them off and Robyn says the guy killed himself later on. Yikes. Andy asks Ashley about being unsympathetic to Robyn’s bankruptcy. Robyn says she was a little gleeful in passing around the information. Ashley says Robyn hadn’t been nice to her, but Gizelle begs to differ. And why that should make anyone happy over financial hardships, I’m not sure. Katie says it wasn’t cool and Ashley agrees, but Katie moves on to Gizelle making fun of her. Katie and Gizelle go back and forth. Katie says Gizelle is like a chihuahua on crack and we stay on this topic way too long.

Andy finally changes direction, bringing up the bi-racial business and, yes, the butt grabbing. Sigh. It’s brought up that Gizelle generalizes too much and even she has to agree. Andy asks about Katie bringing up that Gizelle and Robyn must be bi-racial. She says she’s tired of people telling her she’s not Black enough. Gizelle seems to think Katie isn’t proud of being Black. They make nonsense conversation.Katie calls Robyn and Gizelle Dum and Dummer, and Robyn keeps screeching at her to shut up.

Next week, Andrew and Katie’s engagement is discussed, more butt grabbing discussion, the men join the group, Karen calls Charrisse a snake, and Gizelle still insists Katie is on something. Maybe she is my grandmother.

Fear the Walking Dead

Great. I have to remember everyone’s names again.

Madison stands looking at the ocean. Some small boats are coming toward the shore. There are bombs being shot off somewhere in the distance and zombies coming from another direction.

Travis tells Chris, who is grieving over Liza’s body, to get out of there, but he won’t leave. A zombie attacks Travis, but Madison whacks it in the head. Travis beats another zombie’s head in with a rock. So much for pacifism.

They get into the boats with zombies still trailing them. A zombie gets his head chopped up by a boat propeller. Nice. They all watch as the world they knew goes up in flames. And zombies. Beautiful shot of the skyline.

Everyone gets on Victor’s yacht, where he says they can survive for quite some time. They hear a bunch of yelling and see a small boat crammed with people. Madison tells Victor about it and he says there’s nothing he can do. Travis tells Alicia to go inside and listen to the radio.

Victor says they have to avoid everyone and everything. Madison tells him to stop the boat. Victor says if he does that, it’s going to be to drop folks off, not take them on. Victor guns the boat.

Alicia is hearing horrible broadcasts from other people on the water. Even the Coast Guard station is saying it’s hopeless.

Nick tells Victor he should have stopped. Victor says they already had this conversation in the pen. Nick asks what if San Diego doesn’t work out and Victor says they’ll have to wing it.

Alicia asks Madison how they know San Diego will be safe, but Madison has no answer. Travis tells Madison that Chris is just staring at the body and he doesn’t know what to do. Madison is still stuck on how they should have stopped. Travis says they’re no good if they can’t protect their own family and that’s what they need to focus on.

Alicia finds depressing music on the radio. She hears someone saying their alive and to give a shout out if they are too. They keep asking if someone is there, and Alicia has the mic in her hand, but says nothing. The voice says please say something and she says she’s there.

Chris won’t leave Liza’s corpse. He finally goes on deck and joins Daniel who’s fishing. Daniel tells him sorry about his mother and Chris says sorry about Daniel’s wife. He says neither one of them got to say good-by. Daniel catches an eel. He says not pretty, but the meat is good.

Nick asks Ofelia if she needs help with her bandage, but she says she can manage. He gives her some first aid tips including drinking lots of vodka.

Alicia is talking to the guy on the radio. She asks if it’s safe where they are. He says he thinks so. They’re in a cove, but he doesn’t want to say where. She says she understands. He asks where she was when it happened and Alicia spaces out. She says it was over before she knew it started.She asks if he lost anyone.

Travis asks Daniel how Chris is. Daniel says you don’t talk when you fish. He says one day Chris will understand what Travis did to his mother was mercy.

Madison searches the horizon with binoculars. She goes inside and finds the wheelhouse empty. She finds Victor and tells him someone is playing music out there. He says sounds can be strange on the water. She tells him he can sleep; she won’t throw him overboard. She asks if they’re all clear and he says almost. She says they should get rid of her. I assume she means Liza.

The guy on the radio talks about going to paradise. Alicia asks if they have water and he says a little bit. She says they have some kind of system. He asks if they could make Hawaii.

Madison asks Daniel what comes next. He says if this is the end of the world, it’s already over. She asks if he’s seen Victor sleep and Daniel says he doesn’ seem to need any. Madison says Victor hasn’t lied, so why doesn’t Daniel trust him? Daniel says he was packing his bags before anything happened. Madison says they should watch him and Daniel says he’s already been doing that.

Radio dude says it’s just him, his brother and his sister-in-law. He had a girlfriend, but lost her. Radio dude says his name is Jack.

Liza gets a burial at sea. Travis makes a big speech. He tries to be funny and it goes over like a lead balloon and crickets chirp. Chris ejects Liza into the water and storms off. Travis wants to talk to Chris. Chris is angry at Travis shooting Liza and doesn’t want to hear it. Travis leaves Chris alone and goes back with the others.

Something is happening to Jack. He says they’re taking on water and asks how close Alicia is to Catalina. Alicia tells Travis that someone is in trouble. Victor overhears and asks if Alicia told him anything. She says nothing important. Victor says the rules of the boat are, it’s his boat, and if it wasn’t for him, they’d all still be on land.

Nick tells Victor that Alicia is just trying to help. He says she’s helping people who don’t matter to them. Victor asks Nick if he was afraid of dying when he used. Nick says no, that’s part of being an addict and Victor says that his fearlessness has value in this world.

Chris and Travis have an altercation that gets physical. Madison tries to talk to Chris. She says it’s okay to be angry and tells him that when she was 13, she hit her father, but it didn’t end well. She tells him he needs to eat. She knows it hurts and it doesn’t go away, but what happened, had to. She says if his father hadn’t done it, she would have because she would never let that happen to someone she loved.

Everyone gathers for dinner. It’s just like Below Deck. Almost. I keep wondering what Alicia did tell that guy. Chris comes out, but goes to the deck. He sees smoke on the water and I think of Deep Purple. There’s a splash and Nick runs out and dives into the water after Chris. He grabs Chris. Chris says he just wanted to swim. Chris dives down. Looking for Liza?

Alicia tells Jack they can’t come; it’s too dangerous. He says okay, he gets her, and he’ll see her soon. Yeah, I thought so. Jack is up to no good. Victor sees something coming toward them on the sonar or radar or whatever you call it.

WTF? Chris and Nick. They keep twirling around in the water. Uh-oh. There’s a zombie with them. Would zombies float or sink? How does that work? Nick gets to the surface. The smoke has cleared and there’s an overturned boat in the distance with stuff and bodies on the water surrounding it. Chris gets back in the boat, but Nick is underneath the overturned boat. It looks like there are bullet holes in the hull. Nick takes the yacht log, but gets attacked by a zombie. For whatever reason, the zombie backs off and Nick swims out from under the boat.

Whatever Victor is seeing, the news isn’t good. He tells everyone they’re going to be leaving. Someone is joining them. He says it could be no one or it could be the ones who did that, pointing at the destroyed boat.

Travis brings Nick back in a lifeboat. Madison says whoever did that is coming back.

Next week, the gang battles the zombies on land, and try to start over.

The Shahs of Sunset

I am so glad this show is back! It’s one of my favorites. I love Reza so much!

Reza says when he came back from Thailand, everything was painful, but Adam stuck around. With therapy, they talked and communicated, and made the relationship work. He and Adam are having breakfast. There’s some sex talk and I go ♫ La-la-la! ♫

MJ’s place is a mess. New Dog Tila has joined Julio, and there’s also a boyfriend named Tommy. They met on social media. MJ wants to purge her closet. She wants to create space in her heart and mind for future cohabitation with Tommy. They are going through her shoes, which are plentiful, but I’m no one to talk. Although I don’t think we shop at the same shoe stores.

Mike and Jessica are still married at this point. Mike is having a hard time though, asking permission for every fart he blows. He and Jessica are on a hike that looks pretty daunting. Mike tells Jessica about new guy Shervin renting a yacht for his birthday. He wants to make sure she’s okay with being around the group. He says they’re willing to bury the hatchet. Jessica hopes that GG can get past her craziness, and if that can happen, she’s on board.

GG visits Asa bearing Stella Artois. Asa is starting a line of caftans. They are really beautiful. She says she wants to bring back old Hollywood glamour.

GG was diagnosed with rheumatoid arthritis. She says she’s at a weird place where she can be crying one minute and yelling the next. Asa brings up Shervin’s birthday party. GG says she still has unresolved feelings with Jessica. Asa says they need to forgive each other. A dragonfly comes by and Asa says it’s an omen.

Mike and Jessica meet with the photographer. Mike says his wedding night was the best night of his life. The photographer quotes them $1500 for the album and Mike says some people spend that on their whole wedding. While it was quite the extravagant operation, I think he’s wrong about that and I was surprised that the price of the photography is so low. I had a friend take photos, so my price was nothing, but still. We get a glimpse into the wedding through the video. It would have been nice to see more of that.

Asa and Reza are shopping at Jonathan Adler. Reza is looking for some stuff for his new house. Reza tells Asa that he and Adam are in a much better place and ready to get married. He says he’d like her to do whatever is necessary for her to officiate at the ceremony. He wants to have everyone out for a weekend at the new house and have a surprise ceremony. Asa is thrilled.

New guy Shervin is GG’s cousin Nima’s best friend. Before the yacht party, the three get together and have a toast to Shervin’s birthday. It’s going to be a white party, so they dress accordingly.

Mike tells Jessica he’s all for her voicing her opinion, but he wants to bridge the gap. Jessica says she’s ready to move on, but she’s not going to be fake. She adds that GG is a loose canon and you never know what you’re going to get.

Reza, Asa and MJ go in the same limo and stop a million times along the way. MJ also recreates her dress that she’s discovered is uncomfortable. Reza says he doesn’t have anxiety about seeing Mike and Jessica, but that they are going to be trapped on a boat with alcohol.

Everything seems to be going well. The boat leaves and Shervin isn’t on it. No GG either. I think he’s going to make some kind of entrance. Mike tries to call, but it goes to voicemail. Yep, here comes a helicopter.

The helicopter lands on the deck. GG is also in it. There’s a deck pool! With a mermaid in it! It’s amazing and I cry because my invitation got lost in the email. GG and Mike’s meeting is cautious, but goes well. Mike tells Reza that they need to find time to sit down together on another day. Reza says he’ll be glad to move forward, but he doesn’t want to rehash old stuff..

The drinks are flowing. Shervin asks GG what’s up with Jessica. They haven’t spoken yet and Shervin wants to call her over. He says he has a gift for making amends. Good luck with that. He has Jessica sit down with GG.

Jessica says she’s been wanting to talk to GG, but wasn’t sure when the right time would be. She says she was shocked when GG let fly about Mike trying to sleep with her. She says they’re married now and she doesn’t care, but at the time, she ended up looking like the crazy one. GG starts to talk, but Reza comes by and GG doesn’t want an audience. GG says thanks a lot to Reza.

More drinking! There’s lots of fabulous food, but I don’t know how much is being eaten. Mike suggests GG has a drinking problem, but that’s a bit of the pot calling the Shah black. Shervin is sure that his birthday has brought everyone together in love, peace and harmony, when really they’re just drunk.

Reza makes a toast, saying how they’re all family and his people are together. He’s quite inibriated and throws some of the birthday cake and some lands on Asifa’s dress. More cake gets thrown and Asifa accuses GG of throwing it on her. Asifa goes past GG and smears cake on her. GG gets pissed about Asifa touching her, pushes Asifa and tells her to take a swim. Cake is everywhere and Reza thinks both girls need some help. Ha-ha-ha! He started it!

GG is pretty smashed and gets another drink. Everybody seems concerned about her. She’s also shoving a sub sandwich in her face. Everyone debarks.

Next week, GG stays at Shervin’s, Jessica says she and Mike can’t seem to hold on to a dollar and MJ’s mother hates her boyfriend. No surprise.

Mar14

March 13, 2016 — Fairy Tales, Trans Tales & Wives Tales

Posted on March 14, 2016 by theresakp

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What I Watched Today
(rambling, random thoughts & recaps from today’s real time TV watching)

Once Upon A Time

Hook is told by his cell mate, Meg, that he can’t escape. He says he’s not going to sit around and rot, and that someone is there to save him. Meg asks how he knows it isn’t a trick. He says when you love someone, you know. They both make a break for it. Meg gets out, but Hook is stopped by Cerebus, the three-headed dog. He tells Meg to find Emma.

Snow and David are wandering the graveyard. She says they were all her subjects and she was supposed to protect them. She wonders how they can protect their daughter, but David says she’s not alone this time.

Young Snow’s kingdom is being terrorized. She isn’t sure what to do, but Regina tells her that everything will be fine. Snow runs out of the palace and into the woods. She falls into a hole and a young man saves her. It’s Hercules.

Snow sees Herc’s grave and tells David that she and Hercules were friends when they were young. She says if he’s there, he has unfinished business and they have to help him move on. If they help him, he can help them.

Regina says there’s no sign of Hook in the North Woods. She sends Robin with Henry to get some maps from her office. Emma sees blood on a plant and she and Regina follow the trail. They find Meg who says she can take them to Hook. They hear the roar of Cerebus close behind.

Emma and Regina go to Snow and David’s underworld apartment. Meg tells them that Hook is in an underground cave. She tells them about Cerebus and how nothing can defeat him. Snow and David show up and Snow says she knows exactly how he can be defeated.

Young Herc tells Snow about his demi-godness. She wonders how she’s going to defeat the kingdom’s foes, and Herc says he’ll teach her. She doesn’t think she can do it, but Herc says he’ll show her how to stand up to her enemies. He shows her medals he’s won for various labors, kind of like Scout badges. His last labor is defeating Cerebus and he wants to spend as much time with her as possible before he has to leave.

Regina goes to the diner which is run by the witch from Hansel and Gretel. She tells them that Hercules comes in there on his lunch break. Apparently, he works on the docks, which is where Snow finds him.

Snow asks how Herc died, but he says it’s not important. He asks why she’s there and she says to help her daughter. Snow tells him there’s a way for him to leave the underworld. Herc says he never finished his final labor and Snow tells him Cerebus is there. She tells him what he once told her, that you can’t let fear of failure stop you from trying.

Hades pops in on Hook. He sees Hook has been bitten by Cerebus and tells him the dog’s master isn’t nearly as friendly.

Robin and Henry have difficulty getting into Regina’s office because Cora has it locked up. Henry goes through the ventilation system. Cruella is waiting for them and asks Henry how his mother has been since she killed Cruella.

Herc leads the others to where Hook is and tells them to wait.

Young Snow comes upon some of her subjects being shaken down. She threatens them with her bows and arrows, but ends up dropping the quiver and arrows go everywhere. Herc steps in, and the villains leave, but the head bandit says Herc can’t protect her forever.

Behind Snow’s back, Regina is meeting with the head bandit. She’s been working with them to defeat Snow, so that the people will realize she’s the only queen for them.

Herc meets Cerebus, drops his sword and runs. Where’s Kevin Sorbo when you need him? Kevin Sorbo wouldn’t have run. Snow is about to draw her bow, when Hades calls Cerebus off. Regina asks why hell looks like Storybrooke, but he won’t tell her. He does let her know that Cerebus killed Herc, who is also his nephew. He tells Snow the next time she interferes with his family, he’ll interfere with hers.

Emma says they have to find Hook. Hades shows her Hook’s bloody hook. She asks what Hades did to him, and Hades says she shouldn’t worry about what he’s done, but what he’s about to do. He disappears, poof! in a cloud of blue smoke.

Henry asks what Cruella wants. She says she wants his help. She wants to go back to the real world. She misses the music, the gin, the glamour and the gin. He says he destroyed the quill, and she says when he did that, he sent the quill to the underworld. She says if she comes back to life, his mother is no longer a murderer and can be restored to the pure soul she once was.

Snow is ready to throw in the towel. Regina says she was on the losing end of a battle with Snow and became her friend, which is pretty phenomenal. Regina says they don’t need Mary Margaret anymore. They need Snow White.

Young Snow is also feeling defeated. She tells Herc she doesn’t want to be Snow White anymore and she was crazy to think she could stand up to the bandits. Herc says no one wins every battle, especially their first one. He says his first labor nearly killed him, and he won by accident. He says if he’d never failed, he wouldn’t hae figured out how to succeed.

In Hades, Snow is trying to convince Herc to help them. She asks how Cerebus killed him and he says since Cerebus has three heads, he shouldn’t have fought him alone. Snow says he won’t be alone this time.

At the apartment, Cerebus comes crashing through the ceiling. Cool!

The bandits are at it again and Snow tells them to lay off and get lost. She draws the bow on them. At first the guy laughs, but her next arrow means business and it gets the subjects moving too. They pick up pitchforks and whatever else they can get their hands on, making me wonder why they didn’t do this before. The villains drop their weapons and leave. Herc says Snow doesn’t need him any more and she’s going to make an amazing queen. She says he’s not a bad demi-god himself. They kiss.

The Storybrooke gang splits up. Snow and Herc find Meg, but Cerebus is right behind them. They dash into the nearest building. Snow says they have to get all three heads at once and Herc gives Meg a dagger. Cerebus comes busting through the wall and they get each of the heads. Cerebus disappears, poof! in a cloud of black smoke.

Herc tells Meg he thinks they’ve met before. She says he’s the boy who tried to save her and Cerebus killed her after he killed Herc. He says he’s sorry and Meg says he made up for it just now. Snow says maybe Cerebus wasn’t Herc’s only unfinished business and that he was supposed to save Meg too. Snow says she doesn’t want to be Mary Margaret any more; she wants to be Snow White again.

Henry tells Robin he couldn’t find anything in the office.

Meg gives Emma a map to find Hook and says to thank him for her. Herc tells Snow he was right and that she became an amazing hero. He and Meg join hands and head for Olympus, as their unfinished business is now finished.

Hades is pretty pissed that Hook helped Meg escape. He gives Hook some kind of stick. He says Hook’s friends have caused too much damage. He says for every soul they free, one of them will have to stay and Hook has to decide who.

Next week, Gold and Hades do battle, and Hook has to make a decision.

The Walking Dead

Maggie and Carol are captured. A redhead, who we learn later is Paula, sees Rick and the gang through binoculars and tells them over the loudspeaker to lower their weapons. Rick says come out and let’s talk. She says they won’t come out but they’ll talk and tells Rick they have Carol and Maggie.

Rick says they have one of theirs and let’s trade. Rick says they can have their guy, Primo, back if they give up Carol and Maggie. The group argues among themselves. Paula says she’ll get back to him.

Maggie and Carol get coats throw over their heads and are shoved into a car. Paula is trying to contact other Saviors to meet them at some contact point. Maggie and Carol are taken to a “safe house,” where they’re bound and gagged. Paula tells them don’t even think about a way out. She says she’s itching to kill them, so just try and see what happens.

As soon as she’s gone, Maggie tries cutting her bonds on a concrete post. Carol seriously starts to freak out and hyper-ventilate. Paula comes back with an older lady and a wounded guy. They finally take the gags off of Carol and Maggie. Older Lady tells Carol to take some yoga breaths. Carol holds a rosary and Older Lady says, oh, you’re one of those. One of whats?

Paula asks Carol if she’s afraid to die. Carol says it doesn’t matter what happens to her, but don’t hurt Maggie and the baby. Paula tells Maggie it’s pretty stupid to get knocked up at a time like this. Paula says the point is to stay standing. Maggie says walkers do that and she’s doing something brave. Older Lady is having a cigarette, and Maggie says something about the baby. Older Lady says she has a lot worse problems than second hand smoke. Carol tells her cigarettes will kill her. Older Lady coughs up blood and says they already have.

Wounded Guy isn’t doing well. Paula says in 30 minutes the crew will be there. Maggie says he doesn’t have 30 minutes. He needs to lose the arm. She suggests they talk to Rick. Paula tells Wounded Guy 30 minutes. He gets all bent out of shape and wants to kill Carol and Maggie, or at least shoot Carol in the arm. Paula tells him to shut up. He goes after Carol and Maggie knocks him down and then head butts him. He gets up and starts kicking Carol, but Paula stops him. She tells one of the others to take Maggie out and see if she knows anything.

Some girl interrogates Maggie. She wants to know where Rick and the gang are holed up, and says Maggie’s people are not the good guys. Maggie throws up.

Carol thanks Paula for helping them. Carol says her husband used to beat her. Paula says she doesn’t care and she knows exactly who Carol is, pathetic. (Wouldn’t that be what Carol is?) She asks Carol if she really believes in that crap, referring to the rosary. Carol says faith got her through the death of her daughter.

Maggie asks Interrogator Girl what’s up with her missing finger. She says she got caught stealing. Maggie asks about her tattoo that says “Frankie.” She says it was her father’s name and it’s what she was going to name her baby. Maggie says she’s sorry and Interrogator Girl says probably not really. Maggie says she’s not planning on dying today and Interrogator Girl says neither is she, but one of them is wrong.

Paula radios Rick. He says they can make a trade, but she says they haven’t agreed. She says they’ll be taking most of the risk without much reward. Carol tells Paula they don’t have to fight. Paula says Carol’s people killed her people. Carol says the Saviors ambushed them and took everything they had. Paula says they shouldn’t have come to the camp to kill everyone. Carol says their leader is a nut. Older Lady says they’re all Negan. Carol asks what that means. I’d like to know too. Did they eat him?

Older Lady is chain-smoking and Carol asks her for one. Older Lady obliges. Paula tells Carol she’s weak and asks her what she’s afraid of. She says Carol can’t even stick to her own principles. Paula says before the apocalypse, she was a secretary. She tells some story about a carrot, egg, and coffee beans all being boiled. The carrot ends up soft, the egg gets hard, and the coffee beans changed the water. She worked in Washington when the military took over. The important people were evacuated first and she was stuck with her boss instead of her family. She says her boss was weak and stupid, and he was the first person she killed.

She says she’s still alive. Carol says her people are killers. She says Paula is the one who’s afraid to die, and she will. She asks whats’ going to happen if they don’t work things out. Paula asks if Carol is going to kill her and Carol says she hopes not.

Commercial break. Fear 462. A zombie gets a knitting needle to the head.

Paula radios Rick and says they’ll make a trade. She gives him a meeting spot. Paula thinks they’re waiting to kill them the second they come out the door. Carol says Rick is a man of his word and he wouldn’t put her and Maggie at risk. Paula radios her other people and says they have to be ready to move. They don’t take Carol or Maggie, so I guess they’re going to ambush Rick.

Carol gets free of her bonds using the rosary. She finds Maggie and gets her loose. They hug and I yell at them not to waste time. Maggie says they have to finish things. Maggie finds Wounded Guy, but it’s too late, he’s dead.

Older Lady is wandering around the halls and Wounded Now Dead Guy is now Undead Guy and attacks her. Maggie finishes her off from behind and beats the ever-living crap out of her. Paula comes back to everyone gone.

Maggie and Carol have to get past a bunch of zombies to get out. Paula comes up behind them and Carol draws her gun. Paula says go ahead since Rick and company have taken everything anyway. Maggie runs into Interrogator Girl in the hallway. They fight and Carol shoots her. Paula, who’s gotten shot in the leg, says she gets Carol’s deal now, but what was she so afraid of? Carol says she told her to run. She says she was afraid of this, meaning shooting Paula, but her hesitation costs her. Paula knocks the gun out of her hand and they tussle. Paula ends up getting impaled on a pipe and eaten by a zombie. She should have run when Carol told her to. Carol tells Rick to meet them.

The people Paula had radioed come back. Carol lights up some gasoline on the floor and they’re burned alive. Geez. Carol and Maggie walk past all the damage. Paula is now a zombie and Maggie kills her.

They open the door to Rick and the rest of their people. Rick tells Primo he might as well talk. Rick asks him how he got the bike. Primo says they found it. He says he’s Negan and Rick shoots him in the head. Geez. Is that it after such a big build-up or did the Primo/Negan guy lie? Carol clutches the rosary so hard, her hand starts to bleed.

Next week, Daryl plays with a toy soldier, Eugene meets a zombie and there’s lots more fighting.

The Real Housewives of Atlanta

Worst. Taglines. Ever. Except for Kandi. I’m thinking maybe they’ve run out of taglines, since none of the other cities are that great either this season.

Phaedra is planning a holiday party. She’s bouncing ideas off of Porsha and thinks she might do some clog dancing to entertain the guests. I’m speechless.

Kandi and Todd visit his mother’s grave. He says she was the life of the party and it’s sad that she won’t be there for the birth of her grandson. We flash back to some happy scenes with her. Kandi’s baby kicks like he’s saying hi to his grandma.

A story has hit the tabloids that the Feds were at their house looking for Apollo’s motorcycle. He apparently owes the government quite a bit. I’m sure Phaedra distanced herself and her money from that.

Porsha and Phaedra talk about the motorcycle. Porsha says she heard Cynthia and Peter have some of Apollo’s stuff too. Phaedra says she wouldn’t be surprised, since Apollo spent more time at the bar with Peter than he did with his kids.

Matt brings Kenya two Yorkie puppies. We flash back to Kenya’s dog, Velvet, who passed away last season. She names them Twirl and King. Kenya tells Matt she’s been invited to Phaedra’s holiday party. She says she grew up as a Jehovah’s Witness, so her family didn’t celebrate holidays. She says she doesn’t know if there’s going to be drama because it’s going around that Phaedra is the one who called the Feds abut the bike. Matt says at least Kenya isn’t involved. Kenya has to run interference between her shoes and the puppies.

Cynthia and her sister, Malorie, are moving furniture. Cynthia is setting up a massage table. Malorie leaves and Cynthia gets some ambiance going. When Peter comes home, she tells him she’s going to be his masseuse and that she’s booked a massage with a very happy ending for him. Too bad I can’t unhear that. Or unsee the rest of this scene.

Ha-ha! Cynthia’s daughter is supposed to be out with her dad, but she isn’t. Awkward.

Commercial break. I suddenly forgot which show I was watching.

Porsha, accompanied by sister Lauren, is at a fertility specialist. She’s not ready to have a baby right now (please don’t breed), but wants to make sure that when she is, everything is fine. She doesn’t even remember that she’s divorced or when her last period was. She says if she can’t carry a baby, Lauren can do it for her. Why not? She does everything else.

The doctor comes in. The doctor tells her that her fibroids are back. They’re small though, so the doctor says a pregnancy should be fine. Porsha asks about her biological clock, and the doctor says she had her own children at ages 38 and 42.

Dwight is setting things up at a spa for Phaedra’s party. Phaedra is also celebrating her divorce. It looks bright and festive, and I’m jealous of Dwight’s boutonniere brooch.

Ho-ho-ho! It’s party time. In reality crossover fashion, Miss Juicy from Little Women: Atlanta is one of the elves. Ayden is also dressed as an elf and will be giving out coal as needed. Sheree has brought Bob, who desperately wants to get back together. She says she’s open to it, but she’s not going to make it easy.

Porsha shows up with Shamea and they’re both barely dressed. Phaedra’s friend, Tammy, is there. Bob has told Sheree that he slept with Tammy, who claims they didn’t, so there’s some awkward tension when Tammy confronts Bob about it. Bob suddenly changes his tune and says they didn’t sleep together and he never said that they did.

Kenya shows up dressed like the Grinch, complete with green body paint. Bob tells Sheree not to hold him to who he used to be. They kiss sans mistletoe.

Peter asks Todd if Phaedra ever paid him back. Not quite, but he’s done with the whole thing. Nene sits next to Kandi, and we flash back to their personality clashes. Nene claims to be in a better place now. She says Kandi is usually making faces at her. Now that she mentions it, Kandi does make a lot of faces. Nene says they should press the restart button ion their friendship and Kandi agrees.

Kim thanks Phaedra for helping her through her first months on the show. She says if Phaedra ever needs her help with the boys, just ask. Nene brings up the Feds and Kandi says she’s keeping Phaedra at a distance until she can figure out where they’re at. The Feds went to Cynthia’s house as well, and Kenya suggests maybe Phaedra made the call. Cynthia says whenever anybody tried to help Apollo, they ended up in trouble. I’ve already forgotten what he looks like.

Phaedra joins the conversation and acts like she doesn’t know what’s up with the Feds thing, calling it crazy. The floor is cleared. Kim’s husband does a dance routine.

This was the finale, but the only interesting endings are that Kim will be Dancing with the Stars and Porsha will be on Celebrity Apprentice.

Next week, The Reunion, part one — Matt and Chris tangle and just about everyone else does too.

I Am Cait

All is quiet on the bus. Welcome to New Mexico. Cait says she put everyone to sleep with her political talk.

The bathroom ventilation isn’t working properly and everyone is complaining loudly. One of the ladies says it smells like a “cow barn.” The subject of the word “tranny” comes up and an informal poll is taken as to whether it’s offensive. Jenny does find it offensive, which is no surprise since she’s so easily offended. She compares it to the word “faggot.” She says someone once beat her and used that word while they were doing it. She says words can hurt as much as violence can, which is very true. Kate says it’s a word that was stolen from them, but when she uses it, it’s with love and compassion. Jenny says they look at things differently, but it’s asking a lot for her to look at it that way. Kate says Jenny can ask a lot of her as well. Kate says she identifies as a non-binary trans person. Jenny asks if they’re going to be having this conversation during the whole trip. Kate says she will be coming back to the subject.

Cait’s mother has won a support award from the LGBT community. A discussion about Donald Trump follows. While Cait isn’t a fan, she says he’d be good for a lot of issues, including women’s issues. When confronted with a Donald or Hilary question from Kate, Cait says she’d never vote for Hilary because she’s not going to address the economic issues. Candis is a huge Hilary supporter, but Cait brings up the overabundance of Hilary’s lies. Candis says Cait doesn’t discuss politics, she bombards you. Cait says just because she’s transitioned, doesn’t mean she suddenly became a liberal.

Candis tells Jenny she got in a screaming match with Cait about Hilary and removed herself from the conversation. Candis feels Cait was disrespectful and loud. Continuing the conversation with a few of the other ladies, Cait asks for one good thing Hilary has done. Zackery asks where the anger is coming from and doesn’t want to engage if Cait is going to yell. Zackery gives an example of a trans issue, but Cait says that’s good for them, but not America as a whole. Zackery feels that she keeps getting interrupted and doesn’t want to discuss it any further. Jenny says the bus has never felt this small. Zackery says Cait is “coming for” her, but I don’t see it that way. Frankly, I think that’s just part of Cait’s personality and they seem to be the ones bringing up politics. If you know this is the result, and you’re going to be offended, why start it?

The girls arrive in Santa Fe. Wendy, who is some kind of cruise director, says they’ll be seeing their rooms first and then going to dinner. Jenny says it’s like her worst nightmare, she’s having a conversation with Kate she doesn’t want to have and Cait is talking politics. They sit down to dinner and Jenny suggests joining hands before the meal.

To change the subject, Cait talks about getting a Woman of the Year award from Glamour magazine. She asks everyone what being a woman means to them. Jenny says one isn’t born a woman, but becomes one, and they all define womanhood on their own terms. Cait says she doesn’t know if she’ll ever figure it out. Zackery says sometimes your mind is ahead of your body or vice versa, and Cait hasn’t caught up to herself yet.

Kate says she didn’t come out until after her father died. She said if she had told him, he would have sat Shiva for his son. She recalls the conversation between her and each of her parents, ending with her mother eventually calling her Kate. Jenny says it’s impossible to hate anyone whose story you know and realizes that she needs to get back on track with Cait.

Commercial break. Family Therapy with Dr. Jenn (VH1) looks promising. Lindsay Lohan’s parents are cast members. Need I say more?

The girl are going horseback riding. Cait thinks it’s time to get off the bus for a while. One of the girls thinks it would be fun to play “Fluffy Bunny.” This involves putting marshmallows in your mouth and saying “fluffy bunny.” They don’t have marshmallows, so they use mini powdered donuts.

Chandi has never gone horseback riding and her first lesson is, don’t step in horse poop. The horse starts to go backward and I’m sure is sensing Chandi’s fear. Finally, she gets the horse going in the right direction. Jenny feels like Cait has been a bully and it needs to be addressed.

Back on the bus, there’s TMI about vibrators.

Back at the hotel, the girls toast to themselves. Kate talks about how she and Jenny talked, and though their approaches are at logger-heads, but their goals are the same and they really listened to one another. Kate confesses that she wanted to get a rise out of Cait by posing the Donald or Hilary question. She says she left the conversation because of Cait’s anger. Jenny says Kate isn’t the only one who was uncomfortable. Cait says she realizes she looks at the issues differently. Jenny says it isn’t about the issues and that Cait scared some of the women. Really? It must not take much.

Candis says she feels that Cait doesn’t listen sometimes. Cait agrees and says she can get excited when trying to prove a point. Jenny asks that Cait deal with them in gentleness and love. Cait admits to being aggressive when it comes to politics and it’s the feminine side she has to work on. Zackery says there’s been too much in-fighting in their own community and they have to set an example. Cait apologizes to Candis

The ladies are meeting with the mayor. They recently passed an ordinance regarding gender neutrality with single seat public bathrooms. I’m all for that. If I have to go, I don’t want to wait if a bathroom is empty just because it says men on it. Although Cait was supposed to change the signage, because Kate has had such grief over bathroom issues, she asks Kate to do it instead. Kate says she feels included and respected.

Next week, Candis has a date, Candis gets stood up (maybe) and Cait changes her driver’s license

The Real Housewives of Potomac

Isn’t this show over yet? Nope. Not yet. And what does Gizelle mean by she’s the word on the street? More idiotic taglines. It makes it sound like she’s a hooker.

Charrisse is doing a “sister circle,” a bonding experience for the ladies. Robyn shares about a best friend she and her ex-husband had who stole their money. She says they fell into a ponzi scheme and lost almost everything. She says she doesn’t know who she can trust anymore. Ashley feels guilty for discussing Robyn’s bankruptcy with Katie, which she should. She has no business bringing that up to anyone.

Gizelle asks Katie about her charity event. Katie says she has new host committee members. Ashley thinks there’s something deeper going on, but Katie says she doesn’t feel like going deep tonight. So Charrisse does it for her, bringing up the make-out session between Andrew and Katie at the party. Katie says she had a little too much to drink and already apologized. Gizelle asks if she was “on something.” Is Gizelle my grandmother?

Katie goes to lie down, telling Ashley she’s just tired. Yeah, tired of these shade throwing witches.

In the morning, Karen visits Ashley’s room to rehash the sister circle. She wasn’t thrilled with Gizelle sharing about her bathroom habits. You and me both, sista. Gizelle talks to Robyn about what she shared. Robyn says that the friend ripping them off was worse than their divorce. Karen tells Ashley she thought what Gizelle brought up about Katie was inappropriate.

Katie is talking to Charrisse and that hanger on whose name I keep missing. Charrisse says that it seemed like Gizelle attacked Katie. Gizelle, who has batlike radar, joins them. Charrisse tells her that Katie felt attacked and that isn’t what the sister circle is about. Katie tells her she didn’t bring up Gizelle’s sex life or something else inappropriate, and she thought Gizelle got too personal.

Hanger on, whose name is Brynel, visits Katie in her room. Katie says she’s spent and she thinks anything that Gizelle brings up is bs. Brynel tells Katie she needs to call Gizelle out and tell her she doesn’t do phony. Karen joins them. Karen says Katie has to stop Gizelle in her tracks or she’ll end up being Gizelle’s whipping boy.

The girls take a field trip to an old time photo place that has Old West costumes. They get a group photo taken. Katie tells Gizelle she was disrespectful. She says she’s not a little girl and she won’t be treated as one. Katie says Gizelle disparaged her character and she won’t have it. She says if Gizelle has any problem with her, she should come to her directly. Gizelle is probably steaming, but she apologizes. In her individual interview, Katie says she’s surprised Gizelle apologized, but then again, she’s a big phony.

Ashley is taking the girls to a drag show that she and Michael always enjoy when they vacation there. First, they have dinner outside at a restaurant with an awesome view. Karen asks Katie how she’s getting Andrew down the aisle. She says she thinks he’s ready, but he wants to surprise her. Karen thinks Andrew should put a ring on it already. They talk about prenups and finances. In her individual interview, Gizelle throws shade at Katie and white people in general.

Robyn asks how Katie would do it differently in this relationship, since she’s been married before. She says she rushed into the first marriage because she’d just turned 30 and felt pressured.

Big phony Gizelle, compliments Ashley on her hostessing skills, even though she was the one Googling hotels in the beginning. Everyone flatters Ashley and she says she feels like the casting results for the school play were just posted and she got the lead. Ashley says all in all, she thinks she did a good job and she wants to go out with a bang.

No gay bar is complete without a disco ball, and there it is. The girls get to dancing and even Karen pats a butt or two. This looks like a fun place. The drag show starts and Michael shows up. Karen gets pissed immediately because it’s supposed to be a girls weekend. She tells Ashley they’re not comfortable with a man sleeping at the house with them. The ladies are leaving and Ashley says that she’s staying a while and she’ll see them later.

Karen says Ashley should respect her feelings. She says Ray wouldn’t appreciate it and he wouldn’t be comfortable with another man in the house. Ashley says she didn’t plan this and Michael surprised her. They suggest Michael stay in a hotel. Katie and Charrisse are the only ones not getting stupid. I’m sure this poor guy thought he was doing a good thing and no good deed goes unpunished.

Robyn understands both sides, but thinks Ashley should have told Michael she’s with the girls this weekend. Charrisse thinks everyone is being ridiculous. When they get back, they have a mini discussion about Michael’s disrespect. Ashley and Michael come back. Ashley says they’re still her guests, but it’s Michael’s home too, and he’s not going to get in their space. Michael says he doesn’t even understand the drama.

Charrisse says the overall concern is how Ashley handled it. Karen says Ashley telling her she didn’t care if Karen was uncomfortable isn’t right. She says she’s done and goes to bed. Michael tries to make jokes, but Gizelle acts like he might attack them in their sleep or something. Robyn thinks Gizelle and Karen should let it go and move on.

Robyn and Charrisse stay up half the night playing beer pong with Brynel, Ashley and Michael. Karen says all her efforts were in vain and the way Ashley has handled things is very disappointing. Off with her head!

Next time, Andrew brings home balloons and I notice we have the same exact throw pillow with a buffalo on it, Ray calls out Michael, and Karen is done with Ashley.

Feb29

February 28, 2016 — The Dead & Nothing But the Dead

Posted on February 29, 2016 by theresakp

Standard

What I Watched Today
(rambling, random thoughts & recaps from today’s real time TV watching)

The only show with enough guts to air a new episode opposite The Who-Cares-What-Number-It-Is Academy Awards. AMC’s Walking Dead, we salute you!

The Walking Dead

Abe is telling camel stories to Sasha, while they check out the perimeter of Alexandria. They talk about Maggie having a baby. I’m thinking maybe Abe wants to have one with Sasha. When he says he’ll see her tomorrow, she says she’s taking a new shift. She says Eugene wants to help more, so he’s going to be walking with Abe. He changes it to see you around.

Abe is in bed with Rosita. I’m confused. Was he dreaming or was that a memory? Rosita tosses him a necklace that she made for him. He tells her she’s damn near perfection. Why not total perfection? Something in the necklace makes him think of giving the victory sign to Sasha.

Maggie and Glenn are doing something with the garden. Someone is sneaking around and they follow.

Paul is in Rick’s house and Carl draws a gun on him. Paul (introducing himself as Jesus, so I guess we’ll go with that now) says he’s waiting for Carl And Michonne. Two seconds later, everyone is there for a meeting. Jesus gives them a scorecard of Alexandria and what they’ve got going on as far as supplies and other assets. He says they got off to a bad start, but they’re on the same side. He says he’s from a place like Alexandria and he scouts for others. He admits he misjudged them, thinking they weren’t good people and he wants to make amends now. He talks about the settlement where he’s from, Hilltop, and says they’ve started breeding livestock.

Maggie asks if they’ve thrown in with other groups, and Jesus says their world is about to get a whole lot bigger. Cool! I’m excited to see new people.

Rick and the gang are going with Jesus to Hilltop. Denise gives Daryl an oatcake for the road. Carl wonders what’s up with Rick and Michonne. Rick says he was going to tell him, but it just happened. Carl says it’s cool. Carl is staying behind this time and says he’ll keep an eye on Baby Judith.

Abe asks Glenn something about Bisquick and pancakes. What he’s really asking about is Maggie’s pregnancy. Abe tells Glenn that if he sees rain coming, he wears galoshes. Can’t this guy speak English? Dr. Phil would probably understand him.

Rick sees a crashed RV. It’s some of Jesus’s group. There’s blood everywhere and the crash victims have turned into zombies. At first, Rick thinks Jesus set them up, but Jesus says they don’t have many fighters in their group and whoever else was in the RV is in trouble. Rick says he’ll look for them, but Jesus is staying behind with Maggie, who has orders to shoot him if he gets weird.

Rick and company go into a totally dark building where you can hear zombies lurking about. They tell the live people to hang tight. Abe nearly kills one of them because it’s really hard to tells who’s who in the dark.

Back in the RV, one of the rescued guys introduces himself as Harlan. It turns out he’s an obstetrician, which is good news for Maggie and Glenn. Jesus’s friend Freddy, the guy Abe almost killed, is still freaked out. His wife had been killed and she came back as a zombie.

Uh-oh, the RV is stuck in the mud. Jesus is like, it’s okay, we’re close enough. They get out and see the compound on the hilltop. Apparently, they’re not too original with names.

Jesus tells the lookout to open the gates. The lookout says to drop the weapons, but Jesus tells him the group saved them and he trusts them. He asks Rick to trust his group in return. Lookout guy opens the gates.

Harlan says see you on the flipside and takes Freddy for a look-see. Ha-ha! Jesus says a lot of people came from a FEMA camp. I’ll bet that was scarier than the zombie apocalypse. At the center of the settlement is a Colonial mansion. Jesus says it was a historical site that kids visited on field trips back in the day. It’s some house.

Ha-ha! again. When they go inside, a guy comes out and says “Jesus, you’re back,” a sentence you could take more then one way. His name is Gregory and he says he’s the boss. He suggests Rick and friends tidy up and they’ll meet after.

Abe asks Daryl how long Rick and Michonne have been together (5 minutes?) and if he’s thought of settling down.

Rick sends Maggie to Gregory’s office to negotiate. Gregory says he had visited the place when it was a museum and little did he know one day it would be his. Well, sort of. He thanks her for saving the doctor. She asks how they’ve survived at Hilltop. He says they’re good at it and they don’t sweat the details. They talk about gardens and Maggie brings up a trade. Gregory says he’s happy to help, but he can’t give things away for free. He says they can work there for their share.

Um…I think he’s making a pass at her. Yes he is. Maggie tells him to knock it off. She says hilltop is low on medication and their communities can help each other.

Jesus tells Rick and Daryl that Gregory is going to want the best deal possible. Rick says they need food and they didn’t come all this way not to get it. Jesus says he’ll talk to Gregory. He says right now Hilltop is going well, but tomorrow it could be Alexandria. He asks for a few days.

Some guy comes in and says “they’re back.” A negotiation with Negan has gone wrong with people getting killed and being held hostage. A hostage’s brother (who is wearing a man bun — no, just no) has been returned along with a message from Negan in the form of said brother stabbing Gregory in the stomach. Everything goes nuts, Abe is being strangled, Daryl breaks the guy’s arm, man bun holds a knife to Rick’s throat. Rick turns the tables on him though, slicing man bun’s jugular vein.

Some woman knocks Rick in the head and Michonee knocks her down. Jesus says Negan was their friend, but now he’s nothing except a coward attacking them. Gregory is still just lying there bleeding. Geez. Jesus tells Rick things aren’t as simple as they seem and to give him some time.

The doctor is able to patch Gregory up. Negan is head of a group called The Saviors. They made demands and threats to Hilltop, and beat one of the children to death in front of everyone because Negan wanted them to understand where he was coming from. Gregory isn’t the best at confrontation and agreed to give Negan half of everything in exchange for Hilltop not being slaughtered. Daryl asks how many people Negan has. Jesus says they don’t know, but they’ve seen groups with as many as twenty. Daryl says they can take him out, but he wants an exchange. Jesus says he’ll take it to Gregory.

Rick says Gregory’s people have food, they don’t, and they need to trade their services in exchange. Jesus says Gregory wants to talk to Maggie.

Maggie goes to Gregory’s room where he’s recuperating. She says he’s lucky they were there. She asks if Jesus told him about the deal and says in exchange for supplies, they’ll get rid of Negan and The Saviors. Will work for food. Gregory says Jesus will make the arrangements. He also says it’s fun and exciting because he doesn’t get out much. Maggie says if they continue with Negan, pretty soon they won’t have anything. She wants half of what he has right now or the deal is off.

Gregory tells her she has a deal. He asks if she wants anything else and she says yes. She wants some of the Hilltop people to go with them.

Rick loads the RV with supplies. He asks one of the Hilltoppers (Hilltopites?) to come with them because he needs someone who knows Negan’s layout. Jesus is coming along too, just for the hell of it.

Maggie gets an ultrasound.

The RV leaves the compound. Glenn passes around the sonogram photo.

Next week, Rick decides on a strategy to come for The Saviors before The Saviors come for them.

Feb22

February 21, 2016 — The Dead Walk & the Wives Throw Shade

Posted on February 22, 2016 by theresakp

Standard

What I Watched Today
(rambling, random thoughts & recaps from today’s real time TV watching)

The Walking Dead

Carl certainly seems to have recovered well from his eyeball mishap. All seems to be copacetic in Alexandria as well.

Denise gives Daryl a list of things needed as he’s going on a supply run with Rick. She also wants some soda and candy for a couple of the others. Ha-ha-ha! She calls soda “pop” and has to explain that to Daryl, saying she’s from Ohio. Me too, and it took me forever to start calling it “soda.”

Eugene gives Daryl a list of agricultural needs. Daryl and Rick drive off. Rick thinks today is the day they’ll find food and people. They haven’t seen anyone for weeks. Rick puts in a CD, while Daryl begs him not to. I assume they have different musical tastes.

Michonne is on guard duty. She sees Spencer going into the woods with a shovel.

Maggie asks Enid where she’s been. She says nowhere and Maggie thinks there are better places for her to be. Maggie tells her if she needs to talk to come to her.

Daryl and Rick find a feed store out in the middle of nowhere. (Is that where Enid has been?) No zombies inside, so they’re good. They find a truck and Rick suggests using it for the rest of their trip. They take the truck to a filling station, which I would doubt has any gas. They use the truck to flip over a vending machine, but instead of soda, a guy with a bandana over his nose and mouth pops out.

Dude says he was just running from the dead. Daryl asks how many and where. He says more than 10 and they probably have about 10 minutes to get out of there. He says his name is Paul, but his friends used to call him Jesus. Rick starts to ask him the three questions, but Paul-Jesus says he’s in a hurry and runs off.

Rick tells Daryl he noticed that Paul was clean with a trimmed beard, which means he’s been doing okay, and is contemplating picking him up later. They hear some gun shots and run around the other side of the station. It’s only firecrackers. Firecrackers put there by Paul who steals the truck. What would Jesus do? I’m not sure, but what he wouldn’t do is steal your truck.

Michonne follows Spencer. He’s about to whack a zombie and she does it for him. She asks why he’s there and he says he walks in between his shifts, but she’s the first one who’s noticed. She wants to walk with him, but he wants to go it alone. She says his mom told her to figure out what she wants for her life, but right now she’s trying to figure out why he’s walking around in the woods with a shovel.

Carl and Enid are also on a walk in the woods. They find a note in a plastic bag, but it’s wet, so they can’t read it. She says it doesn’t look very old and that means they’re not alone. Enid asks why they’re walking and Carl says that’s what kids do. Enid says she’s not a kid.

Rick and Daryl try chasing after the truck on foot, and come across the vending machine in the road, totally perplexing me. Daryl takes out a couple of cans for Denise. They have a drink and keep running.

Commercial break. Hey, it’s GH’s Obrecht back with Fear 462. And it looks like she’s been bitten. Or scratched. Or something.

Enid and Carl are sitting under a tree, having a snack and reading, when they see Michonne and Spencer. They don’t notice Carl and Enid. Enid says she doesn’t want to come out there anymore. Carl says okay and starts walking away, leaving her to carry everything. Nice.

They see a zombie and while Enid wants to ignore it, Carl is concerned about Michonne. He makes a sound so the zombie changes course. For whatever reason, he isn’t killing it and Enid wants to either kill it or leave. Carl knocks the zombie down and tells her if she doesn’t want to be there, to go home. So she leaves. I would too. He’s getting a little kooky.

Daryl and Rick continue to follow the truck’s trail until they finally see Paul. The truck is stopped and he’s messing around in the back. Rick grabs him from behind, but apparently Paul knows martial arts. Paul slips though and they draw their guns. Rick tells him he wants the keys. Paul says he’s not a bad guy and Rick says Paul doesn’t know what they are.

Rick gets the keys and they tie Paul up. Daryl says the knots aren’t that tight and he should be able to get loose when they’re gone. He throws Paul a can of soda and they take off, Daryl saying good-by with his middle finger.

Rick tells Daryl today is still the day. Well, they did see one person. They realize something is on the roof and stop short. Paul drops to the ground. Daryl jumps out of the moving truck and chases him. Rick stupidly stops the truck to help, which allows Paul to get back in the cab while Rick is dealing with the surrounding zombies. Paul grabs Daryl’s gun and tells Daryl to duck. He shoots a zombie coming up behind Daryl and Daryl knocks Paul out with a punch. All that has resulted from this is the truck sliding backwards and sinking into the nearby lake.

Daryl tells Rick they should go look at cars. Rick says what about unconscious Paul, since he did help Daryl. Daryl says fine, they’ll put him in a tree.

Michonne continues to follow Spencer. He tells her he’s fine, but he needs to take care of something. Or at least try. Michonne asks him to let her help, but he says she can’t. They see Carl in the distance being followed by a zombie.

Spencer says he thought he “saw her that night.” It’s Deanna. I thought they shot her that night. Spencer and Michonne put a hold on her and Spencer puts her out of her misery. So that’s why he was trolling the woods. The scene is brief, but sad.

Spencer and Michonne bury Deanna. He says she left him a note saying he knows his way, but he doesn’t think he does. Michonne says he loved his family and he still has a home in Alexandria. They head back.

Rick and Daryl have still unconscious Paul in the new truck. Rick says Paul must have a hard head, but Denise needs to take a look at him when they get back.

Carl is rocking Baby Judith on the porch. Michonne tells him she saw him with Deanna and that he should have left her or killed her. He says that’s stupid. She says what’s stupid is him being out there and Carl says he couldn’t leave her out there like that and he couldn’t kill her. She asks him if he was playing some kind of game. He says he thought someone who loved her should be the one to end her existence and Michonne would have done the same thing.

Daryl and Carl get back to Alexandria. Paul is still out and they carry him to Denise’s house. Or office. Whatever. They leave Paul on a mattress with a glass of water and a note. We don’t see what the note says.

Rick tries to get some shut-eye on the couch and Michonne tells him to move over. They watch Judith on a monitor. Michonne asks where Daryl is and Rick says he’s watching over a guy. Michonne is like, a guy? and asks him if he wants to talk about it. He says no, but what about her day? She says same thing and Rick asks if she found a guy too. He gives her some mints and says he had toothpaste per her request, but it’s at the bottom of the lake now.

All of a sudden, they realize they’re holding hands. They kiss. Dammit! I want her with Daryl. They move on to more than kissing.

We don’t see what happens next (nor do I want to), but in the next scene they’re nakey and in bed sleeping. Someone tells Rick to wake up. Paul is there. Now I’m wondering where Daryl is.

Next week, I have no idea what happens. Either they didn’t show it or I missed it somehow.

The Real Housewives of Atlanta

The ladies are talking about Sheree having Googled Kim’s husband and tell Kim what had been discussed about him, throwing Kenya under the bus. Kenya says when Kim isn’t around, they all have something to say about Chris, but now it’s a different story. I agree. Kenya was not the only one talking about him in a negative way, but now he’s the most wonderful guy ever.

When Kim leaves, Kenya says what’s up with them not saying to her face what they said behind her back. Kenya says the rumors about Chris being gay have been around for years, so it’s not like she’s talking out of turn.

Kim and Nene meet for brunch. Nene feels badly about what happened in regard to Chris. Kim says she’s felt like a target and Nene says she should address it and not be passive.

Phaedra joins them and Nene fills her in. Both Nene and Phaedra say they’ve been Kenya’s targets in the past. Kim says she’s not going to lower herself. Nene says she has to do something, and Phaedra says it’s not necessary to lower herself. They role play to give Kim a reading lesson. They totally make fun of Kenya, which I guess is okay with Kim who finds it hysterically funny. Oddly enough, I think she just did lower herself.

Kandi and Todd go to meet with a potential chef for their restaurant. Todd says everyone is on board with it except Aunt Bertha. The aunts and Mama Joyce have been invited to check out the tasting menu. The chef comes out with the food and says if they don’t like it, he didn’t make it. Ha-ha!

The food looks phenomenal and everyone loves it except Aunt Bertha. She’s only okay with the ribs, which she says are off the chain. Everyone is also good with the restaurant idea except Aunt Bertha. Apparently, Aunt Bertha is a real pita.

Kim says while she appreciates Nene and Phaedra’s advice, reading isn’t her style. She calls Chris and tells him about the ladies Googling his sexual preferences. Chris isn’t bothered, but he mentions that there’s plenty on Google about all of them, like mug shots. Kim says she’d rather play grown than play dirty. Um, Kim, you weren’t playing grown in that restaurant.

Peter takes the group on the river walk that he calls the Jamaican Six Flags. The place is beautiful, but right away Nene is all I can’t do it. She waits while the others go. Kenya and Matt are at the top before anyone else. Cynthia says everything isn’t a competition and it could have been a bonding experience. Nene says she doesn’t like how Kenya is isolating herself. At least she did the activity and didn’t sit it out on the side.

Afterward, the group goes to a jerk place. I don’t mean the people are jerks, appropriate though it may be for this group; I mean the way the meat is smoked. Phaedra makes a face like she smelled something bad while she’s eating. The guys start bugging Matt about the age difference between him and Kenya, which I guess is also okay.

Nene talks about the brunch with Phaedra and Kim, and says they talked about Kenya. She says Kim doesn’t understand what the problem between them is, and suggests they discuss it. Kim says she feels Kenya crossed a line and disrespected her. She wants either no conversation or cordial conversation, but no more talk about her family. Kenya congratulates her on speaking for herself. Cynthia interrupts and says that Kim wasn’t throwing shade and Kenya was disrespectful. Kenya asks not to be interrupted, since she didn’t interrupt Kim. She says she doesn’t hate Kim but she’s indifferent.

Cynthia brings up how Kenya pulled Kim’s chair during an altercation. She says things like that can make an argument turn physical and she owes Kim an apology. Kenya thanks her for her honesty. Kim says it should hae been handled a different way. Kenya apologizes for the chair thing. Kim says if there’s mutual respect, they can get along and agree to disagree.

Cynthia thinks there’s a deeper issue than Kim and Kenya, and that she and Kenya need to address some things. Nene leaves and Peter suggests they have a shot. Frankly, I think that often leads to problems with these people too.

Sheree, Nene and Cynthia go to some ice cream place where I want one of everything. Cynthia seems to think the conversation with Kenya was productive. She also says Nene has come a long way. Really? Cynthia brought a list of things she wants to go over with Kenya and goes over it with the other two. Because it’s okay to throw shade when it’s you.

It’s the last night and Cynthia says despite the problems, she thinks everyone had a good time. They gather for cocktails at a gazebo near the water. Phaedra says Peter looks good enough to bury and Porsha asks if he’s “casket sharp.” Phaedra says when you look good enough to meet Jesus, you’re looking pretty good. She means the real Jesus, not the new Walking Dead guy. Cynthia says that this is the Peter she fell in love with.

It’s dinner time and Kenya still hasn’t shown up. Peter starts talking about how great the trip was, going over everything they’ve done so we can see flashbacks. Kenya and Matt arrive. Sheree’s ex, Bob, who came on the trip is hoping to get back together with her. They all make funny comments about Kenya and Matt. Matt used the word “love” in his conversation with the guys, so that gets some attention.

They talk about the commercial and Cynthia says the only thing missing for her was Kenya. Kenya says she wasn’t given the opportunity to present her concepts and it was hurtful. We flash back to all that mess. Cynthia says even though she chose Kim to direct, she’d wanted Kenya to play opposite her as the best friend. Kenya jokes that was before Nene came back. Nene says she’s always going to be around. Interesting, since the last season we heard from her, she couldn’t stand working with any of them. I guess the big world of acting wasn’t as easy as she thought.

Peter says Kenya was her first choice. Kenya says that when she felt everyone was against her, Cynthia was the one who stood up for her. She says she was in her feelings and behaved like a jerk (this time meaning as in a person). She says she’s sorry she let Cynthia down. Cynthia says it was important to her and sometimes friends have to do what they don’t feel like doing. She accepts the apology, but I think that was an unnecessary comment.

Phaedra, being the cretin she is, says that she thinks it’s just more bad acting form Kenya. I like this woman less and less every episode.

They have a final toast.

Next week, the ladies have a lingerie photo shoot, Matt wants a wife, and Phaedra’s kids visit their dad in prison.

The Real Housewives of Potomac

Is the season over yet?

I notice Ashley’s voice goes up a notch when she gets excited. This isn’t a good look when doing business.

Karen and her daughter, Raven, are taking a self-defense class. Karen wants her daughter to learn to defend herself since she’s going off to college. About a year prior, Karen was mugged and had her diamond necklace stolen. She says she kept her ring though, since she took it off and slid it into “Never Never Land.” I don’t even want to think about what that means, but I am wondering how she accomplished that during the mugging.

Karen says the job of a parent is never done, so she also bought Raven a hot pink stun gun.

Ashley and Michael are opening a restaurant geared toward Australian fare. She’s looking for an assistant and conducting interviews. When they get to asking the candidates about their knowledge of Australia, it’s pretty much a blank slate across the board. After the interviews, Ashley and Michael discuss the interviewees and they both are leaning toward Jasmine.

Robyn comes to visit Charrisse. Since Charrisse gets “NBA life” (whatever that means), Robyn says she shares a bond with her that she doesn’t with the others. They have some food and wine. Robyn tells Charrisse that her ex-husband might have to take out-of-state work. Charrisse asks if she’s still in love with him. Even though she lives with him, they share a bed and have sex, Robyn says they’re not in a relationship. Okay. Robyn says she thinks she’s going to stay in Potomac if he goes, but if she misses him, that might change.

Charrisse says she’s on the fence about her marriage. She says her husband is a great father, but a lousy husband. She’s feeling she’s at the point where something drastic has to happen. She basically blew him off in a text to which he never responded. She says wants a divorce, and Robyn tells her if he won’t do it, she’ll have to.

Gizelle is having a girls’ night with Karen, who’s hoping to gossip with her instead of about her. Is this the level of etiquette she’s so proud of? They talk about how Ashley had a cash bar at her birthday party, which I have to admit is a bit crass. Gizelle said she walked out without paying because she didn’t know. I’ll have to remember that one for next time. Karen says she wants to school Ashley in how to entertain.

Karen is having a couples dinner. She says it’s BYOM — Bring Your Own Man. Gizelle wonders about the ladies whose husbands work away from home. They discuss Katie making out like crazy with her boyfriend at the birthday party and seem to think she’s “on something.” They sound like my grandmother or Archie Bunker. A storm starts outside and thunder happens every time they try to talk shade. I think God is trying to tell them something.

Ashley’s mom and brother come over. They play a game of pool and she tells them about the other Potomac ladies. Ashley’s mom was a single mother and they’re very close. She recently had to file bankruptcy and I wonder why Ashley didn’t help her out. Oh, okay, it seems like her mother doesn’t want her helping out.

Katie is waiting for Karen at a restaurant and talking to her boyfriend on the phone. She’s nervous because she wants to get her on the host committee for her foundation.

Karen arrives. Karen says something about the PDA at Ashley’s event and Katie apologizes. She asks what Karen thought about the cat theme and Karen says she’s a little old for all that nonsense, and calls it a teeny-bopper party. Karen approaches her about the Rost Foundation. She says she has a month to get a casino night together and needs Karen’s help. She’s looking for donations in the amount of 100K, and asks Karen if she’ll be on the committee, but Karen says she’s booked. And she won’t give up her Rolodex either. Do people still use those? Probably only people who use phrases like teeny-bopper.

Gizelle meets her date, Herman. She’s getting back into the dating pool, and I’m thinking she can do better than this. It’s her second date and I guess his credentials are impressive. They make a toast with water and he gets a little forward. The raw oysters come and Herman made the mistake of thinking they were fried. Although I like them now, I made this same mistake in a restaurant when I was 12. I was totally grossed out once I put the oyster in my mouth. I didn’t want to swallow it, but I didn’t want to spit it out in a restaurant full of people, so I just sat there with it in my mouth until I couldn’t deal anymore and chugged it down.

Gizelle thinks Herman needs a little more pizzazz. I could have told her that. She invites him to the couple’s dinner. He starts talking about it being a third date, but she says it doesn’t count. On top of it he makes the horrible mistake of calling the oysters “clams.” I’m not saying it’s horrible — I do it all the time — but Gizelle seems put off by it.

Katie and Andrew meet Ashley and her husband for a round of golf. Katie says she doesn’t really like the game, but she likes the outfits and driving the cart. Ashley hits the dirt the first time out, but manages to hit the ball on the second try.

The girls have a drink while the guys continue on with the game. Katie tells Ashley about Karen not being able to be on the committee. She tells Ashley that Karen thought the birthday party was for a younger crowd and Ashley says that was kind of ageist. Katie says she likes hanging out with Ashley rather than the old biddies, who aren’t really that old, but act like it.

Karen had matriarchs of the community to help her when she first was getting the hang of big society, and she feels responsible to help Ashley the same way.

Robyn is playing a game of basketball with her ex, Juan, and their kids. She says they’re technically not a couple (seriously, I’d like to know just what they are), so she doesn’t think she wants to bring him to the dinner because they have enough pressure.

Ashley and Michael arrive first for the dinner, then Gizelle with Herman. The rest trickle in. They’re on a docked yacht. Say that three times real fast.

Karen’s husband Ray makes a toast. Michael suggests they go swimming and Ray is all for it, but Karen puts the kibosh on that idea. There’s a lot of cocktail chatter, none of it interesting. Katie tells Gizelle about Karen calling her out about the PDA. Gizelle says it really wasn’t cool, and Katie says she’s sorry and that she’d had too much to drink. I’d be drinking a lot too, if I was around these people. Gizelle says she’ll help with the casino night.

Michael wants to go swimming, and begins to take his shoes and pants off, and Gizelle discourages it. Karen is all like, “we” don’t do this. Is that the royal “we” or is she pregnant? She says she loves what he’s trying to do, but not here. Ashley invites all the ladies to their beach house for a girls’ weekend.

Next week, Gizelle doesn’t have a bed at the beach house, Katie is called out again because no one can drop it, the ladies turn it out at a gay club, and Karen is done with Ashley.

Feb15

February 14, 2016 — Potomac, Atlanta & Alexandria

Posted on February 15, 2016 by theresakp

Standard

What I Watched Today
(rambling, random thoughts & recaps from today’s real time TV watching)

The Real Housewives of Potomac

I started this and I’m going to see the season through if it kills me.

Karen has an appointment to look at planes for flight lessons and Gizelle is along for the meeting. Karen and Gizelle talk about Ashley. Karen thinks she needs guidance and Karen is just the one to give it to her.

Ashley meets Katie at the park. She wants to spend time with Katie’s kids to get used to having her own. Ashley tells Katie how the whiskey tasting party went.

Karen picks out a plane and prays over it.

Ashley and Katie push the kids on the swings. Ashley tells Katie about a birthday party she’s having for herself. She’s going to be 27 and says she wants a baby yesterday. Katie wants to have a baby with boyfriend Andrew, but says not being married first isn’t a good look.

Ashley tells Katie about how she googled everyone and tells her that Robyn and her ex-husband only have 25 bucks in their bank account and are declaring bankruptcy. in her individual interview, Ashley says she googles everyone because today you don’t know what people are up to. Just ask Teresa Giudice about that one. I’m actually kind of surprised that she needs to google other members of a reality show she’s on.

Charrisse is entertaining a friend and talks about how difficult life is because her husband is married to his job and she seems like the mistress. She longs for the good old days when they were poor. I’m sure it sounds good, but I’ll bet she’d be crying if she lost all that money. She’s actually crying now, but she’d be crying a lot harder if she couldn’t pay for that Louis Vuitton.

Her friend asks if she wants to keep fighting for her marriage. Charrisse says that she wants to keep her family together, but she’ll see.

Gizelle and her daughters are meeting her ex-husband, Jamal. Gizelle says they’re still family despite his cheating ways and the divorce. He’s been on TV, being a well-known pastor in the Baltimore area who’s active in civil disobedience. Gizelle isn’t interested in getting back together, but they seem to have worked things out pretty well as far as the kids are concerned.

Karen shows up for her first flight lesson and is a little freaked that they’re changing planes on her. That prayer doesn’t count now. Her husband and daughter are there for moral support. Karen gets the plane off the ground, although I’m sure the real pilot does most of the driving the first time out. Karen says the next thing on her bucket list is the mile high club. I don’t suggest she join it while piloting the plane though.

Katie says that during her divorce, she was overwhelmed and Andrew helped make peace with all the parties involved. Katie’s nanny, Mae, is a lesbian and she says she loves that because she loves her energy. What? What does that mean? They’ve all recently moved into Andrew’s house. Some design changes were needed, so Katie took charge. Boy, is he going to be surprised when he gets home and finds out his old bedroom is a walk-in closet.

Robyn is giving her kids dinner. She has to get to work and they’re all, eww! and I hate this food, like typical kids. The sitter comes and she dashes to some PR event.

Karen calls Charrisse whose kids are in New Jersey with their dad. Karen offers to come over to keep her company since she hates being alone. While they’re having champagne, Gizelle and Katie decide to surprise them. Charrisse says Gizelle is welcome as long as she doesn’t act like she did at her crab boil. If I hear the words “crab boil” one more time, I’m going to scream. Especially since they don’t evoke anything close to what Charrisse had.

The girls compare shoes and talk about Ashley’s upcoming birthday party. Gizelle tells them about how one of the first things Ashley talked about to her was how big her man’s doodad was. Then they get into a conversation about doodads. Katie tells them about Ashley googling everybody. For once I agree with Karen when she wonders what anyone needs to do that for.

Katie tells them about how Ashley brought up people’s finances. Karen says maybe Ashley doesn’t know any better, that she’s a diamond in the rough that needs buffing. This leeds Charrisse to start talking about how she’s having a difficult time in her marriage. Gizelle asks how she’s feeling about it, but Charrisse is on the fence. Charrisse starts to cry. Gizelle says not to be afraid to share because they’re all in her corner. She’s pretty nice for someone who was on the wrong side of this hard-on just five minutes ago.

Ashley is having her birthday party in the same place where she used to bartend, and her husband is part owner. The party’s them is “Big Kitty Bash.” I guess everyone is dressing up as a cat?

Andrew comes home to his newly designed place, including a new room added for the nanny. Katie says if he’s going on trips where he doesn’t invite her, he’s going to have to get used to this kind of thing. My husband used to say every time he went away, he came back to a different furniture arrangement, so I can identify with this. Andrew is pretty startled. He says he’s not a fan, and maybe they could have discussed it first, but he’ll accept it.

Everyone is getting ready for Ashley’s party. Gizelle has Robyn on the phone and tells her about Ashley’s googling. She tells Robyn how Ashley gossiped about Robyn’s financial situation. Robyn wonders if she should go to the party. Gizelle says of course, since she wants Robyn to stir the pot.

Karen thinks Ashley needs to be schooled in he etiquette of googling. Charrisse is under the mistaken impression that someone might hit on her at the party. I don’t see cat outfits, but there’s a lot of animal prints, and there are some kind of nakey servers wearing only cat body paint.

Robyn says happy birthday or not, she’s going to deal with this googling business. Katie and Andrew are making out. How old are these two? OMG — it’s a cash bar! Gizelle tells Robyn to question Ashley on her googleability and I laugh, even though I’m still stuck on the fact there is a cash bar at a rich person’s birthday party. the worst wedding I ever went to had a cash bar.

Hey here’s a first. I think Katie is wearing a Betsey Johnson leopard print dress that I have. If it’s not that same dress, it’s awfully close. One time, a General Hospital character wore the same sweater I own. Unfortunately, I hadn’t worn it yet and then I was afraid that I would be seen as copying them when it was really the other way around.

Robyn approaches Ashley. Ashley says Robyn seemed standoffish, so she thought something might be going on in Robyn’s life. When she googled Robyn, stuff about Juan’s bankruptcy came up. Ashley says maybe it has something to do with that, maybe Robyn just does’t like her. Robyn says it’s neither — which Ashley would know if she’d actually asked Robyn rather than going to the internet for answers. Robyn says that because of past experiences, she proceeds with caution when it comes to new people. I’m sure this didn’t help her trust issues any. Ashley has the nerve to say Robyn should have gotten to know her before making any decisions because Ashley isn’t out to hurt her.

Gizelle is like how can she say that when she’s out there googling stuff and talking about it to other people? Ashley says again that she didn’t mean anything by it. Everything is suddenly cool, which seems to be how it works with this group, but Robyn is still miffed. I would be too. Not that Ashley checked Robyn out, but hat she said something to Katie. She had no business gossiping about Robyn’s financial situation.

Katie and Andrew won’t stop making out and Gizelle says it’s like he just came back from war. Ashley says 27 is a big year for some stupid reason and gets a Porshe as a gift. It has one of those big bows on it. Ho-hum.

Next time. Gizelle’s date feeds her oysters, Ashley’ mother has a problem and Ashley’s husband is lookin’ like a fool with his pants on the ground.

The Real Housewives of Atlanta

Honestly, these are some of the worst Housewives taglines ever. I cringe every time I hear them.

Peter is taking everyone on a bus tour to Kingston. Jamaica is his homeland and he wants everyone to see everything. Malorie shows up on the bus, but Kenya has decided to go to a spa with Matt instead, so it’s like an in and out item.

Cynthia tells everyone that someone told Kenya that Cynthia denied their friendship. Sheree says it was her and that’s not what she said. Cynthia says that it got heated before she could explain how she felt. Cynthia starts weeping about friendship and Nene and I don’t know what. Sheree suggests she and Kenya have a talk when things have calmed down. Kim starts yelling about how she got left off of the friend list and to stop the bus immediately. It’s pretty funny and breaks the tension.

While they’re in the bubble bath (!), Kenya tells Matt her side of the Cynthia friendship. Like I’m sure he cares.

Nene says when they get back, she’ll invite Kenya for a cocktail and try to straighten things out. Peter is taking the group to some barbecue place and Phaedra gets overly excited about eating barbecued goat, which gives me a picture of her on a spit with an apple in her mouth. She’s really gotten obnoxious in the past couple of seasons.

Peter’s relatives meet them at the restaurant. This is the first time Cynthia is meeting the ones who live in Jamaica. The food looks fantastic and it’s all farm/sea to table. Peter tells a pointless story. Kim announces the call time for the commercial as 10 am. She seems pretty organized. It’s time to say good-by to the relatives.

The girls are back at the hotel and there’s a buffet by the swimming pool. I’m gaining weight just watching this trip. The guys go to a nearby martini bar.

Nene knocks on Kenya’s door. Kenya says she ordered a chicken sandwich, but Nene doesn’t look like one. Ha-ha, Kenya! Nene asks Kenya to come down for a nightcap. Kenya says Cynthia hurt her feelings. Nene says Cynthia never bashed her and that Cynthia was crying about it. Kenya relents and joins the group.

Cynthia say she cherishes Kenya’s friendship and loves her, and she’s sorry if it didn’t come off that way. Nene asks if Kenya is going to come to the commercial shoot and she says she’ll be supportive.

Peter asks Matt what he does. He’s a personal trainer and also a veteran. The guys make fun of Matt’s age — which is 28, so he’s not a baby and he certainly doesn’t act as immature as these idiots — and then Peter wonders why he’s not super sociable. Peter continues to act like a jerk and Matt finally gets up and walks away. Peter says something about him walking a girl walk and makes fun of him. I hate Peter.

Kim isn’t with the ladies and they start talking about her husband. They all agree he has a lot of personality. Kenya brings up that there are rumors that he’s gay and he’s called Chrissie behind the scenes, and they’re also called Tootie and Fruitie. Cynthia wants no part of this and I don’t blame her. Nene says, well he does tap dance. So I guess that must mean he’s gay. Another what? I’m in agreement with Sheree (another first) when she says they shouldn’t be talking about Kim and her husband when neither one of them is there to defend themselves. Geez. I don’t know which group is more childish, the men or the women.

Chris has left Jamaica because he has to get back to work, so Kim leaves the kids with their nanny. All of the pre-production has been done, so all they have to do is shoot. Kim gets to the location first. Everyone marvels at what a beautiful day it is and they’re right. The water and the sky are incredibly blue. Cynthia is wearing a blue flowing caftan and looks amazing in the shots.

On the bus to the shoot, Phaedra asks about Matt and Kenya’s spa date. It was some kind of couples thing, so of course Phaedra has to talk nasty. She tries to put Matt on the spot. Why?

Cynthia and Malorie are doing some shots of putting on and taking off the glasses. The premise is that life is better with the glasses on. Totally unoriginal and I’d rather watch John Carpenter’s They Live. Rain clouds start to come up. They get the shot before it starts to get dark.

Kim says it’s going to pass. The bus arrives with the rest of the girls. There are some kind of little paddle boats and Kenya goes out on one with Matt. Nene passes out a bunch of accessories to the girls that are going to be in the commercial. I guess Kenya took a pass. Kim directs everyone in a scene where they pretend to be fans of Cynthia. Lightening starts to happen way out on the water.

Kenya and Matt come back. Cynthia is annoyed because Kenya isn’t acting like much of a friend for all her whining. Matt tells Kenya about Peter and the others causing him grief.

Peter says let’s have a wrap party. A rainbow happens and everyone takes it as a sign.

Porsha’s whatever, Oliver, shows up. They’d met on the Miami trip, but she hasn’t seen him since. He pretends to be interested in what she has to say. He asks what the plans are and she tells him about the wrap party. She shows him his room and they flirt.

Porsha introduces Oliver at the party, which is in some bar. They have champagne and appetizers. Kenya shows up, and she and Matt order drinks at the bar. Peter talks smack about Matt’s age. Phaedra acts like being by herself is tough. Kenya joins the ladies.

Phaedra asks why Matt is sitting alone and Kenya says the guys kind of hazed him the night before and it got old quickly. Suddenly, Matt is playing pool with the guys and all is good. It’s like Potomac deja vu.

Cynthia thanks everyone and says she wishes Chris could have been there. Everyone talks about how cool, talented and hilarious Chris is until Sheree puts the kibosh on that and tells Kim the girls were talking gay talk about Chris.

Next time, gay rumors continue, Aunt Bertha is back and the girls climb a waterfall.

The Walking Dead

When we last left, the church tower had fallen, the zombies had busted in and Alexandria was a mess.

Daryl is driving back to Alexandria with Abe and Sasha in the back seat. They’re waylayed by a motorcycle gang. The leader tells them to drop their weapons because their weapons are Negan’s weapons. They’re outnumbered and turn over the guns.

Sasha asks who they are. The leader (is he Negan?) says they have questions too and they’ll be asking them when they drive Daryl and crew back where they belong. First, he wants to know about what else they have, since there’s always more. Abe asks who Negan is. The leader gets defensive and weird, and says they’ll drive them back to where they came from, but don’t ask questions in the meantime.

The leader cocks his gun and Sasha tells him he doesn’t have to shoot them. He says he’s not going to kill them, then says he is, then everything blows up. It’s Daryl with a serious weapon and he’s just blown the whole lot of the motorcycle guys away. Daryl gets back in the truck with Abe and Sasha. It looks like those motorcycle guys are dead, but I have the feeling we haven’t seen the last of them.

Alexandria is total chaos.. The core group led by Rick has put entrails and blood on themselves so they can wander among the zombies.

Rick gathers the group and gives them instructions on splitting up and reconvening. Jessie doesn’t think they can make it with Judith, but Father Gabriel promises to keep her safe. Oh yeah, that’s just the guy I’d leave my baby with. Jessie tries to palm Sam off on Gabriel too, but Sam swears he can deal. Gabriel goes off to the church with Judith and Jessie reassures Rick that it will be okay.

Carol, Morgan, Eugene and Rosita are holed up in a brownstone. The Wolf and Denise watch the zombies from behind a wrought iron fence in a stairwell. Glenn is looking for guns and ammo at the church. Enid tells him that he’d said if you run, that’s how you lose people, even the ones who are already gone and asks him what it means. He says the people you love are always inside of you, and if you lose yourself, you lose them. They tell each other who the important people in their lives were and waste valuable time.

The Wolf tells Denise he needs her. She says she’ll just slow him down.

Enid says she wants to help Glenn get Maggie over the wall to safety. She finds the gun that Glenn has been looking for.

The Wolf says Denise was right, he wasn’t born this way, he changed. Lady Gaga’s song plays in my head. He says he wants to help her change. He says she’ll see one day that they’ve been given a gift.

It’s nighttime. Rick and company are still wandering about with the zombies. The worst thing about all of it is how I have to try and remember the minor characters names again. Sam isn’t being as cool as he thought he was going to be and starts to freak. Jessie tells him to come on. Great. He’s frozen and starting to cry and he’s going to get everyone killed. Nope, he just got himself killed. Good riddance. You were just a hindrance anyway. Carl pulls Jessie away, but it doesn’t work and she gets eaten too. Good. That will teach you to slow everyone down. She’s still hanging onto Carl and Rick hacks her arm off. Okay. That was a good one.

He and Carl get the blip out of there. That other crummy kid (Ron?) holds a gun on them but Michonne machetes him from behind. Are all the losers gone now. Carl keels over. Geez. Michonne hacks their way to safety.

Eugene ponders a very large knife. He says sooner or later, they’re fighting their way out. Rosita basically calls him a chicken and says they will, but he won’t.

The Wolf gives hindsight suggestions about fighting the zombies. He tells Denise they’re going to find a gap and go over the wall. He says it’s safer out there than where they are and to start moving and not stop. The go. The Wolf does some excellent head stabbing. Denise tells him if they can get to the infirmary, she can save his life. They change direction.

Morgan asks Carol about her child and husband. He says he had to stop her and she says she should have killed him. He says she can’t, but I dunno, I’ve seen her do it.

Denise and the Wolf book it to the infirmary. They don’t make it though, since Carol shoots the Wolf from a rooftop. Great timing, Carol. Denise goes running into the brownstone. Rick comes in next with Carl in his arms and Michonne following. I think Carl has lost an eye. Denise yells for supplies.

Rick parts the curtain and sees the place is surrounded by zombies. Since he’s out of his mind, he takes an ax and goes outside.

Commercial break. 10 Cloverfield Lane looks well worth seeing. It looks like John Goodman does some good work in it.

Rick is going crazy on the zombies. This is really going to help Carl tremendously if Rick gets himself killed. Good thing these zombies only come after you one at a time. Michonne goes out and starts machete-ing zombies. Others who are holed up in various places come out and start killing zombies too.

Father Gabriel, who is with a small band of people at the church, says God will save Alexandria because God has given them the courage to save it themselves.

Carol and company head out. Rosita tells Eugene he doesn’t have to go, and he makes a mini-speech about how no one gets to clock out today and this is the story people are going to tell.

Everyone gets to zombie killing, even Morgan.

Maggie is still stuck up in that cage, but the base is getting shaky from the zombies screwing with it. Glenn fights off the zombies while Enid goes up to get Maggie. Oops! Glenn is overpowered and both girls are stuck. Abe and Sasha come to the rescue with machine guns. Miraculously, all the bullets miss Glenn.

Glenn gets into the gasoline truck with Daryl. Daryl gets out of the truck and starts pouring the gas out. I hope he gives the live people a heads up before he sets that on fire. He sets a pond ablaze and the zombies seems drawn to it, although why is a good question, since as far as I know, this has never happened before.

Everyone is beating the crap out of the zombies, including Eugene, while other zombies walk into the flaming water.

The streets of Alexandria are full of the dead walking dead. The live survivors survey the damage, while Denise tends to their wounds. Rick says, “that was rough,” and I literally lol.

Rick is all proud of what they can do if they work together. He says they’ll rebuild the walls and expand them. He gives unconscious Carl a big speech about having a feeling of being able to make a new world. He begs Carl to come back.

Carl’s fingers close over Rick’s hand.

Next time, more zombie trouble with some Negan on the side.

Jan14

January 13, 2016 — Adios, Sabrrrina, Carrrlos & the Hotal Cortez

Posted on January 14, 2016 by theresakp

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What I Watched Today

(random, rambling thoughts on today’s TV)

General Hospital

Nathan meets Maxie at the MetroCourt/Floating Rib/whatever it is. He asks her what’s going on and she flashes back to seeing Johnny.

Johnny startles Lulu In the park, grabbing her from behind while wearing a ski mask. He’s such a laugh riot!

Dante is beating the crap out of a punching bag at the gym.

Carrrlos calls Sabrrrina back.

Jordan meets with Anna and Paul. Jordan says he needs to come up to speed and passes the ball to Anna.

Valerie is applying for a job at the MetroCourt and Olivia comes by to discourage that. Valerie asks what it will take to make things right and Olivia tells her a time machine and suggests she go back to PA. Now tell us how you really feel.

Michael tells Dante that he should aim higher if he’s thinking of Dillon. Dante says that he doesn’t like Dillon, but he’s the one who ruined his own marriage. Because he gives up easy, when Michael suggests counseling, he brushes it off. He also insists Lulu slept with someone else on New Year’s Eve, even though he has absolutely no real evidence of this. Please, Lulu, run off with Johnny while you can.

Lulu tells Johnny he shouldn’t be goofing around like that because someone could see. She says he shouldn’t take chances because both Dillon and Maxie know he’s around. She says Maxie can’t keep a secret for long and Johnny says he knows Maxie almost as well as he knows Lulu and she won’t tell. If he knows her that well, he should know she always ends up telling.

Nathan tells Maxie he’s been keeping up with her fashion stuff online, which shows once again what a great guy he is. Nina comes by and gives him a copy of the green Crimson issue. Nina says it’s their fashion revolution and I think of Little Edie Beale. Nina says she bought all the local copies and is giving them out for free.

Anna says she’s never been convinced that Carrrlos shot Sonny, so she investigated on her own. Jordan says as far as the PCPD is concerned it’s a closed case, along with Carrrlos’s death.

Not so dead Carrrlos tells Sabrrrina he missed her and she pretends to be talking to her dad while Felix is there. When Felix leaves, she tells Carrrlos she thinks Anna is on to him and not to come back to Port Charles. He tells her he never left, and doesn’t want to leave without her.

Maxie says they can’t get an accurate read on the sales if only one person buys the magazine. Nina says there are plenty of places where it’s still for sale and that when the bloggers and cool kids find out about it, it’s going to take off. Nina tells Maxie she needs to have faith in her ideas. Nina runs off and Maxie says she needs to tell Nathan something, but he has to jet.

Lulu tells Johnny the last time Maxie covered for him, she almost lost the best relationship she had. Lulu says she’s bound to tell Nathan. Johnny says his Valerie plan is almost done and pretty soon Valerie won’t be able to show her face anywhere in Port Charles.

Valerie asks if the answer to everything is her moving out of town. Yes. Olivia says this is Lulu and Dante’s home and they’ll find their way back to each other, and Valerie should get out and stay out. Valerie says Olivia is taking out her own failings with Dante out on her. She says too bad, so sad, she’s not going anywhere and she’d rather shovel snow than work for such a hypocrite. I still can’t figure out how Port Charles has snow when nowhere else in the area does IRL.

Dante says that when the newness of a relationship wears off, that’s when you have to work on it. He says he and Lulu didn’t mean to hurt each other, but they did and are paying the price now along with Rocco. God forbid he should take his own advice. What a jerk. Michael says he has to go.

Sabrrrina asks why Carrrlos is still in Port Charles. He says he couldn’t leave her and the baby, and he’s made arrangements for both of them to leave. She says she’s broken up with Michael, but she still can’t go. She asks why he didn’t go when he said he was going to and he says because he loves her now more than ever. He says if she won’t go with him, he’s turning himself in to Anna and she’s going to kill him like she tried before. Sabrrrina is like, what? because she didn’t know about that, but he doesn’t really explain. He says know that he loves her forever and to tell their child he’s sorry he couldn’t be a father.

Anna says she’s willing to drop the whole thing. Paul says it’s a minor discretion in the grand scheme of things. He says she’s a valuable asset and he’s sure they can work things out, but he has to go. When he’s gone, Jordan asks why Anna lied to him. Anna tells her the mole is Paul.

Lulu tells Johnny time isn’t on his side. Now I have an earworm of Time Is on My Side by The Rolling Stones. He tells her to relax because he’s wrapping it up tonight. He says Valerie will be there soon, so Lulu needs to scoot.

Valerie tells Dante she appreciated his offer of help, but she thinks it’s better for them to keep their distance. She leaves for a run and Nathan gives Dante the eye.

Carrrlos meets Paul at the docks. Paul says he thinks someone is on to them.

Jordan asks what motive Paul would have to help Carrrlos. Anna says she’s not sure, but they need to bring Carrrlos in for interrogation. Anna says they need to focus on Sabrrrina and she wants 24-hours for surveillance and phone tapping.

Michael goes to Sabrrrina’s apartment. Felix answers the door and says he’ll let him in if Michael hears him out. Felix says he thought Sabrrrina would never smile again after losing Gabriel, and Michael had brought joy back into her life. He says obviously Sabrrrina lied, but Michael should have cut her some slack. Michael says he wants to get back together with her, but Felix says it’s too late since she’s gone.

Paul says Carrrlos needs to stay dead to the rest of the world, that it’s the only way to keep him and those he loves safe. He says Carrrlos needs to get on the boat now. Carrrlos says it’s smooth sailing ahead for both of them and that he’s no danger to Paul and neither is anyone he cares about.

When Paul leaves, Sabrrrina shows up at the docks. Sabrrrina says no one knows where she is. Carrrlos says their boat leaves soon and wonders why she doesn’t have a bag. Sabrrrina asks why he was talking to Paul.

Michael leaves a message for Sabrrrina to call him and insists Felix tell him where she is. Felix says that’s not his job and if Sabrrrina doesn’t want to hear from him, he’ll have to live with that.

Jordan tells Anna no way are they tailing Sabrrrina.

Dante tells Nathan that what was between him and Valerie is over and they’re not even friends anymore. And adds that should make everyone happy because he’s such a whiner.

Nina shows Olivia the magazine. Olivia says that her cousin started the magazine and it’s practically a fashion institution. Nina says they need to save the magazine and that they can’t keep doing everything the same old way. Olivia starts to say something critical, but then says who is she to judge.

Johnny pretends to be talking on the phone with someone in the park when Valerie comes by.

Maxie is trying to give out copies of the magazines, but she’s distracted by the secret she’s keeping from Nathan. When Nina asks why she still has magazines left, Maxie kinda sorta tells her about it without telling her. Nina talks about how she has her own background of lies, but they eventually led her to Franco.

Nathan asks if Dante will be able to work with Valerie when she graduates. I don’t get why this is even an issue. Why would Jordan ever schedule them even near each other? Nathan says maybe Dante and Lulu can patch things up and that he should at least try. As if on cue, Lulu comes in.

Valerie asks Johnny what’s up. He says he’s not seeing eye to eye with a tow company. He says he’s got a dead car and they’re telling him it’s an hour wait and he needs to be somewhere. Valerie says she’ll drive him.

Jordan says as soon as she sends a request to the judge, it will tip Paul off. She suggests they work on their own.

Michael says he can’t let Sabrrrina go without telling her he wants to make a family with her. Felix says he doesn’t know where she is. Michael is about to hunt her down, but Felix has an envelope for him. He says Sabrrrina told him to give it to Michael if he came by.

Carrrlos tells Sabrrrina he made a deal with Paul about turning state’s evidence. Sabrrrina asks why he didn’t tell her. He says he was only buying time and that he’d be dead if he testified against Julian. He asks her to please disappear with him. He says Port Charles holds too much pain for the both of them and they should start a new life somewhere else as a family. If she doesn’t want to, I totally volunteer.

Olivia looks through the magazine and tells Nina it’s not bad. Nina gets a call from the circulation manager. She asks if Crimson is a success and from the look on her face, it is. Ha! I knew it.

Lulu tells Dante it’s not a good night for him to pick up Rocco because he has a bug. Dante acts like she must be lying and that she, Dillon and Rocco are cozying up together. Dante acts like such a freaking idiot, Lulu can’t get out of there fast enough. While Nathan starts to talk to Dante, Maxie comes running in and drags him into the interrogation room. She says she has to tell him something. Nathan says that what he’s been working on has something to do with her. He says Johnny might try to contact her. Funny you should say that, replies Maxie.

Johnny says he doesn’t want to be a bother. Valerie says she owes him one for fixing her car.

Anna knocks on Sabrrrina’s door and there’s no answer. She and Jordan bust in with their guns drawn. The place is empty.

Michael takes the letter to the park to read it. The letter says that the time they spent together was the happiest of her life and he didn’t deserve her lying to him.

Carrrlos tells Sabrrrina the choice is hers and asks if she’s coming. She says yes, and goes with him. All right!

The letter continues about how grateful Sabrrrina is, and that Michael will find someone he deserves. She says she’ll always love him, but she’ll do it from a distance. She says that Port Charles is his home, but not hers, and says good-by.

Tomorrow, Maxie tells on Johnny, and Alexis and Julian make faces at something they’ve discovered.

American Horror Story: Hotel – Random Thoughts

This was a nice finale. It hasn’t been my favorite season – that was Freak Show – nor has it been my least favorite – that was Coven because I thought it was too busy – but Hotel was well crafted and the acting was fabulous. I thought the story was a little repetitive at times, and that if I wanted to watch True Blood, I’d watch True Blood, but it had glorious moments. I loved the serial killers’ dinner, used again in the finale.

Denis O’Hare was wonderful and Lady Gaga was a joy to watch. There was recently some Twitter brouhaha about her getting a Golden Globe and that she lacked acting talent. I didn’t understand that at all. Did we see the same show? I also recently saw her in Machete Kills and she was totally on point. It bothers me that the anonymity of the internet allows people to say appalling things about someone that they would never say to their face. And a total stranger no less. But I digress.

What makes this show great is that whether it’s the best season or the worst, it’s always reborn in the next. So while we bid adieu to the Hotel Cortez, we look forward to whatever wild ride the horror story takes us on next.

Dec19

December 18, 2015 — GH, No GH, Mini Chefs & Friday Night Zombies

Posted on December 19, 2015 by theresakp

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What I Watched Today

(random, rambling thoughts on today’s TV)

General Hospital — Thursday

Alexis asks Molly to try and be nice to Julian when they’re at the Nutcracker Gala. Molly tries to get out of going by saying she needs to look after Sam. Alexis says Sam can look after herself just fine. Mystery occasional daughter Christina arrives.

There’s something wrong with the mic system at the gala. Tracy is worried that no one will hear Paul’s speech. Little hearts pop out of her eyes like in the Pepe LePew cartoons.

Franco sees Elizabeth at the hospital and he ducks. Then he asks if she’d go to the gala with him.

Robin tells nice dude Henrico that he’s the first guard who’s ever been nice to her and maybe she can return the favor. Wet blanket Jerry Jax comes in the room.

Anna tells Patrick that they might be on a wild goose chase. He says he doesn’t think so because of the necklace. She says maybe the Cassadines planted it on purpose just to throw them off.

Tracy asks Nina if she’s seen Dillon. Nina says no, but he’s supposed to be working the gala for Crimson.

Dillon sees Maxie outside. They start reminiscing about Georgie.

Elizabeth says she’s not going to the gala with or without Franco. He says he’s not asking her out on a date. He needs to be there for work. He asks if she’s afraid she’ll run into Jason and she says he’d hardly be at a function like that.

Carly checks Jason into the hotel and says let’s get a drink.

Robert says that the WSB has been monitoring the Cassadines. Patrick asks what they know and who has Robin. Anna asks if it’s Jerry Jax.

Henrico tells Jerry he was just about to kill her and Jerry says hurry up then. Jerry also says both Patrick and Anna aren’t far away. Jerry tells Henrico to execute the plan and Robin and don’t make a mess. Robin tries to get Jerry to change his mind to no avail.

Henrico says there’s nothing he can do, so don’t ask. Robin says he’s wrong. There is one last thing.

Christina asks Sam prying questions about her love life. Christina says exams ended early and Alexis says good, she can go to the gala too. Sam gets her jacket on and says she has a quick errand to run, but hopes everyone has a good time.

Christina asks Molly about their mother’s password. She says she doesn’t want to, but she has to hack into Alexis’s account.

Maxie and Dillon think about Georgie as they look up at the stars. Dillon gives Maxie and envelope. We don’t see it, but I assume a picture of Georgie is inside.

Franco tells Elizabeth that he knows she’s feeling all alone in the world right now and does she have a dress?

Carly asks if Jason wants a martini, but he says scotch will do the trick. She says she thinks she’ll join him. They drink to friendship. Jason tells her to go ahead and say she told him so. She says she had no idea Elizabeth knew all that time. He asks if she thinks it’s for the best, and she says Elizabeth always tried to turn him into the person she needed and he’s not that person. Jason says he wasn’t ready to listen before, but who’s he supposed to be? Carly says he has to figure it out for himself.

Henrico is listening to opera and Robin makes chitchat about it. She says her family traveled all the way to Pars and she can’t bear for them not to know what happened. Henrico says there’s nothing he can do. She asks if he was named for the guy in the opera who was a hero and tells him he needs to do the right thing.

Patrick says the last time Emma and Robin talked, it wasn’t their regular time and he thinks Robin was trying to tell them something.

Christina is working the laptop like a boss and thinks up a password I never would have. She looks at Alexis’s email and Molly reads something about disciplinary action with Christina at school. Christina deletes it before she can finish and says why ruin Christmas?

Maxie says she was going to visit Georgie’s memorial stone, but this is better. She asks if Dillon ever talks to Georgie. She says she does and it helps and hurts at the same time. Dillon says he thinks of both the high and low points of their relationship and it was everything. Maxie says she used to love the holidays, but now, not so much. Dillon identifies and so do I. Maxie says this year she has to work and they’d better get going before Nina sends out a search party.

Sam wants to leave something for Patrick at the hospital, but is told he’s on a leave of absence. Elizabeth pops out asking what does she expect, since she turned everyone’s lives upside down. Boo! Hiss!

Carly says normally she likes to interfere, but Jason should trust himself and that he has good instincts. Jason balks and Carly points out instances in the past seven months when he’s used them.

Patrick’s phone rings and it’s Robin. She says her neighbor told her he was looking for her. She finds out that Emma is there too. Robin says good-by and says she’s off to Elysium.

Alexis asks what’s going on and Christina says something about needing the computer for school work. When she goes back upstairs, Molly asks what kind of trouble Christina is in. Christina avoids the question.

Carly asks Jason to come to the gala. She says neither Elizabeth nor Sam will be there. She says he and Sonny can be miserable together. He says he only has a duffel bag of jeans and T-shirts, but Carly says she can set him up with one phone call.

Elizabeth, who apparently has no idea why Patrick is away, gives Sam a humongous lecture on how it’s her fault. Sam says for 7 months, she kept Jason’s identity while everyone else suffered. Elizabeth says that Sam is worse, pretending to love Patrick while really wanting Jason.

Robin tells Patrick she loves him and Henrico takes the phone. Impatient Jerry pops in again and says if you want a job done right, do it yourself. Henrico says he doesn’t know what to do about the lab. Jerry says he’ll do that part and Henrico takes Robin out of the lab. She says now they can escape and he needs to live up to his name as a hero. He says endings aren’t always happy and grabs her arm to take her down the hallway.

Patrick asks if Elysium is code for something. Robert says maybe, but Anna says it means “heaven.”

Sam goes home to Alexis’s, who looks absolutely amazing in a navy blue formal gown. Alexis says Sam looks like she wants to punch something and Sam tells her about running into Elizabeth. She also tells Alexis about Patrick and says she can’t figure it out. The ladies all leave for the gala. Sam sees that Alexis forgot her check, but it’s too late, she’s gone. Fastest pulling out of a driveway ever.

Nina explains how she wants the guests’ pictures taken (in a bower of white branches) to Dillon. She chastises Dillon and Maxie for being late. Maxie says they’re here now and has Dillon take Nina’s photo.

Carly shows up at the gala with Jason. Monica says it’s great to see them. Carly says she left her phone at the bar and Jason goes back to get it. Monica thanks Carly for getting him there.

Franco and Elizabeth arrive. Franco says he’s proud of her for facing her challenges. He rambles and she tells him to stop talking.

Anna wonders if Robin knows they’re here. Robert says she isn’t in the compound anymore but is on the island and they’re going to have to hurry. Patrick wants to go with them. Robert says it’s dangerous, but there really isn’t much argument. Oh, yay, a hero moment for the lip gloss king.

Monica asks where Paul is and Tracy says he must have gotten tied up, but he’ll be there. Monica says she has to admit, the artwork from Ava is top-notch, but she still didn’t invite her. Alexis gets there and realizes she forgot the check. While she runs out, Christina makes sure her phone doesn’t have the message from the school

Maxie says Nina is really getting the hang of things. Franco shows up and says that Nina looks more beautiful every time he sees her. He says he brought a colleague.

Sam shows up with the check and sees Elizabeth. Jason sees the both of them. Soap opera faces all around.

The Scorpios get their old moves back and bust into the lab. With Anna and Robert’s guns drawn on Jerry, Patrick backs him up against the wall. Jerry says they’re too late, Robin is dead.

Monday – the Nutcracker Gala and more Scorpio fun!

General Hospital — Friday

I started typing until I realized they’re repeating the Thanksgiving episode. What ? Why? My only guess is that they got scared. When I turned it on, George Stephanopoulos was talking. I have no idea about what, since I was cursing him and my life at that moment, but then he went away. Whatever it was must have scared ABC into showing a repeat because they feared the viewers’ wrath should there have been a total preemption. Better to just put the show off totally.

Master Chef Junior

I always preface this with how I don’t say much about this show because I’m snarky and mocking children isn’t my thing. I do love this show though, and Gordon Ramsey rocks. It’s nice to see his kinder, gentler side.

Tonight, the kids have to recreate a dish that they’ll be tasting while blindfolded. This is tough when the adults do it, never mind someone whose palate hasn’t been around the world yet. Oh, and they have 60 minutes to do it.

The team challenge, with the captains being the winners of the taste challenge, is to run a restaurant. Again this is similar to the adult version of either Master Chef or Hell’s Kitchen. They both blend in together after a while. One team has ingredients from New England and the other, New Mexico. I always feel bad for whoever’s picked last when it’s a team challenge.

A whole bunch of grandmas – and I mean that literally – are the judges, so I’m thinking maybe they’ll go easy on the kids, but then again, maybe not. It all looks good to me.

Speaking of Hell’s Kitchen, it’s premiering January 15.

The blue team wins, with Addy heading them once again. I predict her for the win.

Don’t worry kids who went home – one of whom was a surprise to me – I can barely get a buffet for 15 catered, never mind cook for an entire restaurant. Job more than well done!

Next week, Graham dresses like a chicken and eggs are involved.

Z Nation

Citizen Z is trying to contact Addy. Or anybody for that matter. He’s down to his last battery. He’s desperate to tell them to abort the mission because the location has been compromised. The battery runs out and he throws the laptop away.

Vasquez and Roberta have gone inside the renegade diner. Roberta takes some tea from the woman behind the counter. Vasquez passes, but they signal for the others to come in. The counter lady talks about the diner and asks what it’s like out there.

Doc says all Zs. She asks if there’s anywhere safe, and Roberta says a few places, but not many. A car pulls up and it’s nothing good. It’s a bunch of guys from Deliverance and they ask for liquor. They ask if the woman’s name is Annie and when she says yes, the head guy says she’s the one who knows about The Murphy. They want the bounty.

Main dude buys a round of drinks for everyone. (Does anyone use money? What do they use?) The guy says they have The Murphy sedated and show them a zombie on a leash. Obviously not Murphy. Murphy is dressed like a woman with a scarf over his face. When head dude asks for a dance he pretends to be shy. Head dude throws something at Murphy and all the guns come out.

He says he’s noticed the real Murphy and his Murphy move at the same time. He’s getting suspicious about Murphy and while he’s talking his own zombie takes a bite out of him. There’s a mini shoot out and Annie stops it with her own gun. She sees that Muphy is the real deal

10K has been shot. Annie goes outside and fires a flare to contact Dr. Merch and what’s left of the CDC lab. 10K is losing a lot of blood. Murphy asks questions about where Dr. Merch has been hiding, but Annie says it’s classified.

Citizen Z packs up a sled, along with Pup, and says they’re not coming back.

A military team approaches the diner. Roberta asks Murphy if he’s ready. He says no, but when has that ever mattered? Roberta tells the lieutenant that Murphy is there. The Lt calls him “The Murphy” and Murphy says he doesn’t know where the “The” came in. 10K is taken out on a stretcher. Roberta tells the lieutenant to treat Murphy humanely. He say’s they’ll treat him like the celebrity he’s about to become. Addy says don’t forget the little people. Doc wants to go with 10K, but there isn’t enough room.

I don’t like this one bit.

Murphy tells Vasquez he’s sorry about Vasquez’s family. Doc says no good-by? Murphy holds out his hand, but Doc hugs him. Murphy gives Doc an Ace playing card and Doc gives Murphy a z-weed joint. Murphy says good-by to Roberta. He says who knows, maybe he’ll actually do something good and she says they’re counting on him.

The caravan leaves. They start to clean up, but as Doc is removing a body, a shot hits it. Operation Bite Mark duck for cover. It’s the Zeros shooting up the place. We hear La Reina calling Roberta to come and get some mercy.

She’s looking pretty jacked up, hair all crazy and fire in her eyes. A gun battle ensues and La Reina tells her troops to advance. Annie, who’s pretty mean with a gun herself, calls everyone inside. La Reina has Dr. Kurian’s head in a box. When he starts being annoying, she closes the box. She looks through the site of her gun for Roberta.

Annie shows OBM her arsenal. She says she’s low on ammo, but they can give them hell in the meantime. It’s suddenly quiet, which Roberta says worries her more.

Murphy is on a submarine along with 10K, who is wheeled into surgery. They tell Murphy 10K is in good hands and he continues with Dr. Merch and the lieutenant. The doctor asks if Murphy has had any side effects, and Murphy says he is a walking side effect. The lieutenant talks about the development of a whole new world and tells Murphy that Zona (a reference to another episode) is not only real, it’s the future. At the beginning of the apocalypse, some businessmen and scientists created a new world on a zombie free island. Murphy notices that some of the crew have funny eyes. He says if they’re going to save the human race, they’d better get to it.

La Reina says she just wants Murphy. Roberta says too late, he’s gone. Vasquez tries to shoot La Reina, but misses. The back row of troops runs swords through the front row and uses them as shields like Uma Thurman in whichever Kill Bill movie that was.

Annie gets shot and turns into a zombie. After a small tussle, Doc gives her mercy.

The Zeros are getting in.

Back at the sub, the doctor is preparing Murphy for giving some blood samples for tests. He asks her what the deal is with the crews’ eyes. She said it was a side effect of one of the early vaccines given to people on Zona . She says that some of the earliest people are losing their immunity and turning. She says that’s why they need him, especially the founder of Zona. He says he thought the vaccine was for everybody, and the doctor is a little vague in that it sounds like maybe when they get around to it, the peons will get a turn. Dr. Merch asks questions about childhood diseases and the usual medical background. When she asks id he has children, Murphy says that’s kind of personal and doesn’t answer.

Murphy asks for privacy, and Dr. Merch asks the guards to leave. When they’re gone, Murphy turns on her. He says he doesn’t want to be a blood bag for some billionaires when he traveled all that way and went through so much to save all of humanity.

It doesn’t look good for OBM. A big Zero dude is swinging around a mean looking weapon. Roberta shoots, but she’s out of bullets and the gun just makes that clicking sound. We both say, oh sh*t. Addy tries to fight him, but he breaks her weapon and hits her with his. While she’s down, she still has enough strength to hit him where it counts. In the meantime Roberta has reloaded and shoots him.

La Reina come drags her sorry self over to Roberta. She says it’s good to see her and can they talk like sisters. She says she’s unarmed and it’s not too late for Roberta to be her right hand. She asks Roberta to help her find Murphy. Roberta says the CDC has him. La Reina says that was a big mistake. They go head to head and it’s a pretty good fight scene. Again very Tarantino.

Finally Roberta is down and La Reina is standing over her, but Escorpion runs her through with a sword. What?

Citizen Z is pulling the sled with Pup in it through the snow. He doesn’t look too good. I’m always worried about him and Pup.

Roberta comes too and can’t believe Escorpion is there. Vasquez knocks him in the head and Roberta says he saved her life. Addy is surprised he’d kill his queen. He says she wasn’t human anymore. He says he won’t rob Vasquez of his revenge and he’s not afraid to die. He apologizes for killing Vasquez’s family and says he realized it was the worst thing he ever did and he wanted to die too. The rest of OBM leave the room so Vasquez can make his decision. They hear a gunshot and Escorpion comes out. They run in and Vasquez is sitting at the bar. He says he couldn’t do it and Roberta says she’s glad for him.

He’s looking at a picture of his wife and daughter. He says his mission is over. Roberta says it’s time to say good-by. Oh come on. Say something. She leaves and tells the others that Vasquez is alive, but he’s not coming with them. Doc asks what they’re doing now and Roberta says she doesn’t know.

An alarm is sounding on the sub. 10K is alone and gets off of the examining table.

Escorpion pulls up alongside OBM he asks if they need a ride. He says he’s got enough food, ammo and z-weed for a month. Addy tells Roberta they can always kill him and steal the truck. She’s kidding. I hope.

Vasquez is just sitting by himself looking at the picture. He rolls his bandana and puts it around his head. He leaves the diner to face a crowd of zombies and begins shooting and running.

Doc says he hates to admit it but he misses Murphy. Escorpion says he didn’t know him long, but Murphy seemed like kind of a dick.

They get to a cliff and look out to the ocean. The sub is burning. A small boat is jetting across the water from it. Doc looks through binoculars, and sees Murphy, but not 10K. The sub blows up. Addy starts to freak.

Some military planes fly overhead and Doc says they don’t look American. Roberta says, they’re not, and a bunch of military guys with guns pop out of the woods.

We get closer to the boat. Murphy is controlling it, as he’s bitten the lieutenant and Dr. Merch. 10K is playing the part of a soldier in a helmet.

Nooo! Citizen Z is conscious, but frozen in his tracks. He sees someone coming toward him, but does he really?

In the final reel, we see Murphy’s daughter who, no surprise, is growing like a weed. She’s controlling her foster parents who have now been turned into hybrid zombies.

While Z Nation will be back next year (they didn’t exactly say when), why must we have these hiatuses? I wish we could just go back to normal TV seasons where we were on a school year schedule and we had the summer off.

Dec7

December 6,2015 — No Dead, But an Eclectic Night

Posted on December 7, 2015 by theresakp

Standard

What I Watched Today

(random, rambling thoughts on today’s TV)

The Real Housewives of Atlanta

When we left the…um…ladies, a fight was brewing between Cynthia and Porsha. We now move to fingers in the face. Porsha makes a weird, aggressive move, putting her foot up on Cynthia’s lounge chair and straddling her. Cynthia responds by kicking Porsha In the stomach. Porsha lunges for Cynthia and is held back by the crew or security or whoever. Kandi, coming back from the bathroom, is just like, whaaat?

In her individual interview, Kim says that she has a low tolerance for foolishness. Her and me both. This might be the wrong show for her with this crowd.

Porsha is squeaky screaming and Kenya says that Porsha can’t control herself, the disagreement always has to escalate to violence. Kenya wants Porsha and her buddy off the boat. Bye, Felicia!

Cynthia calls Peter. She says he’s still her rock. Really? She tells him she needs for him to come home, and he says he will.

Kim is pretty appalled. In her individual interview, she says that the worst part is how disappointed they’re both going to be in themselves after they catch a breath. I doubt Porsha knows that emotion.

Porsha is tucked into her chaise lounge at home, with her court of yes men girlfriends around her. She shows some bruises, but it looks like she got them from the guy who had to tackle her. Maybe Cynthia shouldn’t have kicked her one, but she shouldn’t have come up on Cynthia so aggressively. Especially considering her past. She makes noises about being supportive of Cynthia and “dumbing [herself] down.” I’m quite sure she’s so dumb she doesn’t know what that means.

Porsha starts to get loud and squeaky again. She’s rambling about Peter and what she knows. Come on, she doesn’t know anything everyone else doesn’t already. Including an audience of millions.

Kim and Phaedra meet at a juice bar. Kim is not too happy that the boat ride turned out the way it did. She says she should have opted out like Phaedra did. She said she was just looking forward to a nice ride with her book and her snack. Ha!

Kenya is telling her friends, as Kandi is telling her staff, about the altercation. Phaedra says she saw bruises and cuts, but again, I don’t think that was from Cynthia. Kim says it’s being analyzed like the JFK assassination. Kenya’s aunt suggests she get the girls together to smooth things over. I think her aunt is crazy. Phaedra says she told Kim it was a wild bunch.

Peter arrives home. Bleh. I can’t stand him. Cynthia says she keeps thinking of how she could have changed the situation, and Peter keeps saying all the wrong things. Her rock. Peter says Cynthia needs to forget about Porsha and examine how she feels about herself. I’m sure what he really means is to think about him.He says he wants to work things out and they get lovey-dovey. How long this will last, who knows.

Kandi has a doctor’s appointment. She goes to Dr. Jackie from Married to Medicine. Kandi is nearly halfway through the pregnancy. Dr. Jackie listens for the baby’s heartbeat. Todd suddenly has to make a call and Kandi is like, really? It couldn’t wait until after the appointment? Dr. Jackie finds the baby’s heartbeat and they look on the sonogram screen. Todd comes back in and they try to fool him into thinking the umbilical cord is something else. Ha-ha! They can’t tell yet though, if it’s a boy or girl.

Phaedra says that her focus has been on the kids. They seem pretty well adjusted considering Apollo’s fall from grace and back into prison. Phaedra whines about being a single mother, but it doesn’t look like she’s hurting any.

Cynthia calls Kenya. Kenya jokes about Cynthia’s Kung Fu Panda moment. Cynthia says she feels awful. Kenya says she wants to give a brunch to get things back on track. Cynthia thinks maybe it’s too soon. Kenya says the problem with her and Porsha is that they waited too long to address things. She might have a point, but it’s empty-headed Porsha we’re talking about. Kenya says if she was able to get past things with Porsha, Cynthia should be able to. Cynthia says, in thinking about it, she may have overreacted.

Kenya wants to meet with Porsha privately before the brunch. They meet at a little coffee/dessert bar. Porsha asks what’s up. Like she doesn’t know. Oh, wait, it’s Porsha. Maybe she doesn’t. Kenya says they once had their own altercation and what happened on the boat didn’t sit well with anyone. Porsha tries to act like it’s somebody else’s fault and talks about Kenya throwing shade at her friend, Shemia.

Kenya says Porsha never takes responsibility for her actions. She tries telling Porsha that, considering their history, she could see how Porsha looked like the aggressor. Porsha says she doesn’t trust Kenya and she doesn’t need to justify her actions to anyone. She says she’ll be glad to talk to Cynthia, but it was just one of those things that snowballed. She gets angry that Kenya is telling her the truth, because she’s stupid and vain. She’s about to run from the situation, when Kenya calls a time out and says she should just tell Cynthia they were both wrong. They clink smoothie take-out cups.

Kandi and Kim are first to arrive at the brunch. Everyone else is late. Kim is annoyed and I don’t blame her. Phaedra strolls in, calling it a “unity luncheon.” Kandi still isn’t sure if Phaedra is being genuine with her. Cynthia is feeling embarrassed and uncomfortable. Kim is like, let’s just say it, and asks Cynthia how it’s going. Kenya and Porsha come in together.

Kenya says she wanted to bring them together because of what happened. Kim says, being new, she doesn’t have a side, but it’s important to have clarity to move forward. Porsha and Cynthia decide to talk privately. Kim says she hopes they come back in one piece. Ha-ha!

Cynthia asks Porsha if she’s okay. Porsha says yes, but emotionally, she’s hurt.

Kenya says her talk with Porsha didn’t go well, and Kandi says Kenya seems to be good at pointing out other people’s flaws, but her own, not so much. Phaedra suggest that Jesus take the wheel , and drive fast. Kenya says she was just trying to be a grown up and help make things right.

Porsha says she’s sincere in wanting to move forward and feels Cynthia is sincere too. They hug it out. When they come back, applause all around.

Next week, Atlanta is in the Miami house! Oh wow, it looks like there will be another strange-men-in-the-house situation. Like there was with the New York Wives, except this looks more serious. And speaking of Miami, are those Wives ever coming back? I noticed they snuck in a Real Housewives of Cheshire on Saturday afternoon. Trial run?

Once Upon a Time

Hook is flashing back to his childhood, where his father wasn’t such a nice guy and he got sold into slavery. Mr. Gold/Rumpelstiltskin has Excalibur.

Dark Emma says the man she loved died in Camelot and all that’s left is the darkside. She and the others are splitting up to find Hook.

Zelena pops in poof! in front of Robin and Regina. She wants to discuss her daughter with her baby daddy, Robin. She says they’ll all be dead soon, so it won’t matter anyway. Two hooded figures come up behind Robin and Regina. At the same time, hooded figures surround the other groups. One walks through Henry.

Rumpel appears out of nowhere and tells them to look at their wrists. They have the mark of Charon, an old guy who runs a ferry to the underworld. Rumpel says the underworld is a worse place than even fire and brimstone. He tells them to use their time wisely, to say good-bye. DUN-DUN-DUNNN!

Regina finds Hook by the water. BTW, his first name is Killian. Regina says he might be the dark one now, but he’s not the same guy he was when they first met. He says she has no idea what kind of man he is. And he doesn’t mean that in a good way.

He flashes back to when Enchanted Forest Regina recruited him to kill her mother. In exchange, she promised to send him to a land with no magic so he could get his revenge on Rumpelstiltskin.

Henry looks through a spell book, hoping for something to counteract the curse they’re under. They decide to gather at Granny’s diner. They leave Dark Emma to continue searching. She tells Regina if she can destroy the dark ones, they’ll all be spared. Dark Emma reminds her of when she said they have to do whatever it takes to get rid of the darkness. Regina says it has to be put into someone, a sacrifice. Dark Emma says it will be herself.

Belle meets Rumpel at the shop. He tells her to go see the world and fulfill her dreams. He tells her to take the car, say good-bye to her father, and start living. She says she knew there was a hero inside him and they say good-bye.

Regina and Dark Emma enter the shop. He tells them to go away. Regina says no way, there are a lot of people in the underworld who would like to see the both of them. She tells Rumpel that Emma wants to take the darkness into herself, which will destroy the darkness – and her. Rumpel gives them Excalibur. For nothing, which is a surprise. Doesn’t magic always come with a price? He says it might not work because the blade chooses who it finds worthy. Regina says, later. She has to help Robin protect the baby from Zelena.

In the old days, Regina and Hook stop at a tavern. Someone yells pirates aren’t welcome. Hook turns to face them.

Robin and Regina come home to find Zelena looking at color swatches to redecorate their house. She says in an hour, they’ll be dead, and she’s moving in. Zelena says last time Regina tried to use the dagger it didn’t work. Regina says that’s because she didn’t believe in herself and says let’s take it outside. They go to the clock tower, and Regina uses the power of the dagger to blow Zelena back to Oz.

Dark Emma goes to the diner and silently says good-bye to her family. A dark figure tells Hook he knows what he needs to do.

Old days Hook reveals himself to his father at the tavern. His father is surprised he’s alive and he says they both cheated death. Hook wants to know why he was sold into servitude. His father says he met a woman who helped him see the error of his ways and wishes he’d known her back in the day. He says he’s sorry. Hook wants to know where she is.

Hook’s father says that she died. Hook says he came there to kill him, but they’ve both suffered enough already. He says he can arrange a letter of transit and transport for his father, but can’t come along. His father asks if he can arrange transport for two because he has another son.

Storybrooke Hook stops Dark Emma from leaving. He says he’s saving her because she made him the man he always wanted to be. She says she’s sorry, but she couldn’t watch another person she loved die. He says now she’ll watch everyone die. She brandishes Excalibur, but sees Henry who takes the sword from her. Poof! in a cloud of red smoke, he turns into Hook. She tells him please, don’t do this, but he says nope, he is, and poof! he disappears in another cloud of red smoke.

Snow finds a note from Dark Emma on the diner jukebox. Belle appears and says Hook has already stopped her and there’s no way to prevent their trip to the underworld.

Everyone appears in a forest, where there are a bunch of dark, hooded figures hanging around, along with Hook. Dark Emma runs out of the forest to join them. Regina says Hook can’t do this and he has to ask himself the same question he did on the night they don’t speak of: what kind of man do you want to be?

Hook’s stepbrother tells his father he doesn’t want to leave. Hook’s father says they’ll be fine and he’ll never leave him. Hook is outside and says that his father is telling his stepbrother the same lie he told him. He kills his father with his hook. The last thing his father says is that he can always change.

A hooded figure says it’s time. Dark Emma tries to stop things and suddenly chokes. The figure says maybe she can’t kill Dark Emma but she can stop her. Dark Emma keeps choking and Hook says enough. He pulls the Excalibur card and black snaky things come out and make the hooded people disappear.

He says the darkness won’t stay in Excalibur much longer and tells Dark Emma to take it from him and let him take on the darkness because her family needs her. She doesn’t want to do it, but he wants to die a hero. She takes the sword. She tells Hook she loves him and then – is she supposed to stab him with it or what? Yes, she is. And she does. Lots of tears. I’d cry too, but it’s all more confusing than anything else.

They all pop back to Storybrooke and voila! everything is cool again. Excalibur turns to dust. Wait, not so cool. Hook just keeled over.

The EMTs (God only knows what they must be thinking) cover Hook’s face over and put him in the ambulance.

Rumpel is having a drink (what does he need one for?) in the shop. Belle comes in, says Henry told her everything, and gives him a big kiss. (I guess because he handed over Excalibur?) She says she wanted to see the world, but with him. While Belle is sleeping, he puts on his Mission Impossible clothes. He gets a text from Emma, who’s in the shop.

Rumpel is like, this isn’t the diner, you people have to stop just showing up. Emma says the dagger called to her and she knows he has it. She says he must be the dark one. When Hook thought he was destroying the darkness, he was only moving it. Rumpel says things are as they should be now.

Emma tries to throw some magic at him, but he says he has all the magic of all the dark ones who ever lived. Emma says she still has magic and he has to do something for her. Rumpel says why should he? And Emma says she’ll tell Belle who he really is if he doesn’t.

Rumpel opens the door to the underworld for Emma and the others. It’s pretty cool looking. Kind of like a pretty swamp with blue lighting. Here comes that guy in the boat. Don’t they have to answer three questions or something? Or was that just in Monty Python and the Holy Grail?

They get ready to board the boat.

On March 6, the story of Storybrooke takes place in the underworld and the quest to find Hook is on.

No Walking Dead tonight. There’s a marathon of Into the Badlands instead. I definitely give it a thumbs up.

Work Out New York

Just a first impression. Hot trainers with egos the size of the state of Rhode Island, but who are also insecure. I’m in! But, hey, what ever happened to Jackie What’s-her-name and that other workout show? She was pretty interesting.

Bad Words

Another quickie. I had never heard of this film and caught it on HBO today. It was on the TV when I came back from the store (yes, I leave it on for the dogs), and I just didn’t bother changing the channel. I’m glad I didn’t, because this was a terrific film.

In a nutshell, Jason Bateman is a 40-year-old guy who finds a loophole in a national spelling bee contest. (He has his reasons for wanting to be in it.) He enters the contest, competing against children. He befriends one of the kids, and they both grow in the process. It was heartwarming without being obnoxious, was well-written, and the acting was great. It was a unique story as well. I’m really glad I stumbled across it.