(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)
General Hospital
Sonny asks one of the staff for an update on Ava, saying she’s the mother of his child. The doctor says she sustained 2nd and 3rd degree burns over most of her body, and she’s critical, but stable. Nothing Sonny wouldn’t have known in the first place. Sonny acts concerned. Carly shows up, and asks why they’re meeting at the hospital. She says she doesn’t want to see any human being suffer, but it doesn’t make her hate Ava any less. Sonny tells her that one of her least favorite people is getting out of the hospital today – Nelle.
Michael offers to give Nelle a ride, but she doesn’t want him pitying her.
Dillon tells Kiki that this is what he was afraid of – she feels guilty about something that Ava did, then pushes him away. That’s what I was afraid of too. He says she’s not thinking straight. There’s no excuse for what Ava did, but her mother is fighting for her life, and no matter what, Ava is her mom. Kiki was there for him through the problems with his dad, and he wants to be there because he cares and wants to help. He’s not letting go when she needs him, and tells her that he needs her too.
TJ meets Jordan at Perks. She wants to talk to him about Curtis.
Aunt Stella tells Curtis that the day Thomas laid eyes on Jordan was the end for their family. Curtis reminds her that Jordan is TJ’s mother. She says let’s get it over with; what’s going on with Jordan?
Valentin tells his visitor she must be pleased with herself. Only one of them is in handcuffs, and it’s not her. Alex locks the door and smiles.
Sonny asks Carly if Diane called, and says she really cared about Morgan. Carly says she volunteered to be a special prosecutor, but she’s on retainer with Sonny, which is a conflict of interest. She thinks they have enough evidence though, including Lucy’s testimony. Sonny says they’ll need more than that to bring Ava to justice.
Nelle tells Michael that maybe pity is the wrong word. Michael asks if his mother was there. She says no, and he thinks maybe it was Bobbie who said something to Nelle. He says he’s sympathetic, but it’s not the same as pity. Nelle asks why Michael is there. He wants to make sure she’s okay, but he also likes her, and she wonders how that could be true. He says she did damage to his family, but there’s another side to her. He wants to spend more time with the Nelle he knew at the cabin. She says when she told him that she was leaving, he said it was the right decision. He tells her that he’s allowed to change his mind, and he’s going to do everything to convince her to stay.
Stella asks if Jordan tried to keep Curtis away from TJ. He says at first, and she asks if Jordan will try to keep her away. Curtis tells her that TJ is grown; call him. She says Jordan has a way of twisting things, and she’s a born liar. She can just imagine what Jordan has told TJ about her. She says she doesn’t regret what she said at the funeral, but regrets where she said it. She says Jordan doesn’t like being confronted with her failings. She’ll make Stella the bad guy, and poison TJ against her. Curtis says she’d never do that.
Valentin thinks the WSB has offered Alex something to get him to confess. She says they don’t even know she’s there; she escaped. To assure him it’s not recorded, she confesses to everything she’s done. She says he didn’t mind her when she was her sister, but she can assure he gets freed.
Curtis tells Stella that Jordan’s mistakes are in the past. She asks if that’s what they’re calling blatant infidelity now. He says that Jordan would never poison TJ against her; she values family and wouldn’t want to disrupt the connection between them. She’s TJ’s favorite aunt. Curtis takes her down Memory Lane, and says that kind of love sticks with a person – TJ remembers, loves, and misses her. He tells her to just call him.
Jordan tells TJ that she and Curtis aren’t just dating; they’re a couple now. TJ says cool. She asks if he’s really cool with this.
Carly tells Sonny that Diane thinks the DA will subpoena Scotty, but he’ll claim attorney/client privilege. She says they still have Andre’s testimony and Morgan’s journal. Sonny hates turning the journal over. He brings up Nelle seeing Ava in Morgan’s room, and says Nelle can establish that Ava used Avery as a cover. Carly asks why Nelle would help them.
Michael explains to Nelle what happened with Ava switching Morgan’s pills. He says the whole family is reeling. He tells her that Morgan got the help he needed and started to believe in himself, but Ava took it away. First she took his sanity, then his life. Nelle wonders if the fire is karma. Michael says he doesn’t want Ava to suffer; he wants her to pay.
Valentin asks Alex what she’s waiting for; he has places to go and people to see. She says they only have so much time, so listen. There’s no way the WSB can prove that he stole the Chimera or sold it; she’s the only witness. He asks about Anna, and Alex says she has no firsthand knowledge. If Alex is gone and he says nothing, they can’t build a case. He asks what’s in it for her, and she says her freedom. Without his testimony, they have nothing against her. She knows he’s vulnerable to Anna, and a confession might have a righteous appeal for him to redeem himself in her eyes. She says they share more of a connection than he ever had with Anna. She’s had feelings for him, but he never saw them. He says she’s there because she wants to stay free. She says she’s not exactly altruistic, but she did save him before, and now she’s giving him a way out. They’ll have to drop the charges, and when they do, he should find her. He asks why; they’ll be following him, and why should he want to? She says all this time it wasn’t Anna he wanted – it was her. She leaves, and Valentin is like, hmm… as he looks at the divorce papers. It’s been quite a day for Valentin.
Carly tells Sonny that they can’t count on Nelle’s testimony. Nelle knows that Carly will do everything in her power to keep her away from Michael. She gets nothing out of it, so why would she do it? Sonny says she owes them, and will feel she’s making amends. He suggests that they talk to her; it’s worth a shot for Morgan. Maura West (Ava) has an easy job right now, just lying there. Ava moans, and a hand covers hers. It’s Ava’s pre-fire self, who tells her it’s not a nightmare. She’s been badly burned, she set the fire on her own, and now she’s trapped, but it’s what she deserves. She played a part in taking a life, and now this is her life. What did she expect?
Michael tells Nelle that he pities Ava. He’d like her healthy and whole and charged for her crimes. He doesn’t want her injuries to cancel out what she did to Morgan. Nelle says she wishes she’d understood justice before. If she’d been more perceptive, or wiser, she wouldn’t have done what she did. Michael says he understands regret. They get each other, and he hopes she stays. He takes her hand, and she says she’s not going anywhere. They almost kiss, but there’s a knock at the door. No surprise, it’s Sonny and Carly. Sonny asks if he can talk to her about something.
The real Anna comes to see Valentin. She says he’s being transported to the Netherlands to stand trial. He asks if she’s transporting him, saying she’s always been passionate about justice.
Stella tells Curtis that she doesn’t want to put TJ in the middle. It’s best to avoid the confrontation. He tells Stella not to worry about Jordan; they came to an understanding about him seeing TJ. Stella says seeing her around town can’t be easy. He made some poor choices, but they can’t compare to what she did. She was unfaithful and got Tommy killed.
TJ wonders why Jordan is so worried. Jordan says he made it clear that it’s a little weird, and it is; Curtis is his uncle. TJ says as long as they’re happy, it’s all good.
Illusion Ava says Kiki has finally turned her back, Julian will end up in prison, and it will frighten Avery to look at her. Sonny did her a favor in letting her live, but it’s no favor.
Michael says that Nelle is about to be released; they’re just waiting on the paperwork. Sonny asks if she knows about Ava, and Michael says that he filled her in. Nelle says she’s glad they weren’t hurt in the fire. Sonny asks what she remembers about seeing Ava in Morgan’s room. She says that it was right before the funeral. Sonny wants to know exactly what happened.
Valentin tells Anna that they can’t prove he was in possession of the Chimera, or selling it. Anna says he told her, and he says it’s her word against his, unless she recorded him. He tells her that the Chimera is no more, Helena is dead, and there’s no wrong to be righted. It’s a show trial for the WSB to save face; he’ll just be saving their wounded vanity. He asks if there’s a time table, and Anna says ten/fifteen minutes. Valentin says he thought he was going to see Charlotte first.
He tells Anna they’d agreed. Anna asks what he’s going to tell her, and he says he was going to be vague, but reassure her. Anna says the agents will be here any minute. He asks if she’ll make a video message; she’ll be right there, and there won’t be any secret message. Anna says she’ll do it; she doesn’t want Charlotte worried either. She sets up the phone. Valentin calls Charlotte “mon petite,” and tells her how much she means to him, and to never doubt it. He has to go on a trip far away, and doesn’t know for how long. He tells her not to worry; he’s always with her, in her heart and in her dreams. He says if she ever needs him, to find the star Polaris. He’ll be looking at it too, and they’ll be together. He tells Charlotte to be happy, because he couldn’t bear it if she wasn’t enjoying her life with Dante, Lulu, and Rocco. He looks forward to hearing about her adventures, and promises he’ll see her again. He blows her a kiss, and we all tear up. Anna asks why he said that about the star.
Curtis tells Stella that he’ll text Jordan. He’s sure she wants TJ to have a relationship with his aunt, and asks Stella to give her a chance. They’ve talked a lot, and Jordan has made a lot of changes too. Stella asks what man she has her hooks in now. Curtis says that’s enough, and she needs to listen. There’s something she needs to know about Jordan.
Nelle tells Sonny and Carly that Ava pretended to be looking for her phone under the bed. Sonny says she must have dropped the pills. Nelle says that she had time to pocket them while Nelle and Sonny were talking. Then, she suddenly didn’t want to see Avery any more, and left. Nelle thought it was weird at the time. She says she’ll give a deposition, and Sonny says they’ll contact her soon. Outside, Carly says the good news is that she’s helping them; the bad news is that Michael hasn’t given up on her. She and Sonny agree that Nelle is doing it for Michael’s benefit. Carly says they’ll have to tolerate it.
Hallucination Ava tells real Ava that all that’s left of her life is pain. She doesn’t have to endure it. Just let go and rest. Ava flatlines.
Sonny and Carly stare, while everyone runs around. Kiki dashes in, wondering what’s going on. The doctors try to get Ava’s heart going.
Michael brings Nelle the release papers, and thanks her for helping. He says he’s not here because of it though. Nelle says that she knows he wouldn’t use her. She says Carly hates her for good reason, but it impressed her how Carly put it aside to get justice for Morgan. She knows Carly’s opinion isn’t going to change, especially if they’re going to be friends, but Michael says he thinks they’re more than that.
Stella tells Curtis that Jordan has them fighting already. Curtis asks to change the subject. He wonders if Stella is taking him out for his birthday or cooking. She says she knows he wants her to cook, and starts to look for recipes on her phone, so they can make a list. There’s a knock at the door and Stella answers. It’s Jordan, saying, happy birthday, baby, and dangling a gift bag in her hand. Probably from the lingerie store.
Handcuffs are put on Valentin, and Anna signs something. He tells her not to back out. She says he’s setting Charlotte up for disappointment, but he says he’ll have to figure out a way to keep his promise. As he’s led away, Anna ponders.
Tomorrow, Aunt Stella isn’t forgiving or forgetting, Julian tells Scotty that he can beat the odds, and Kiki blames herself.
📯 BTW, you might recognize Curtis’s Aunt Stella from about a billion other things:
(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)
General Hospital
Laura tells Lulu that Valentin won’t let anything happen to Charlotte. Lulu says it’s her fault for warning him. She wanted to spare Charlotte the pain of seeing her father taken away. Anna arrives, and says she thinks she knows where Valentin is.
Charlotte tells Valentin that something is wrong and someone is in big trouble.
At the hospital, Julian tries to talk to Lucas, but Lucas isn’t having it. He asks if Lucas has any compassion left for his father.
Sam brings Scout to meet Alexis at Perks. Alexis says she’s going to focus on her girls. Sam calls Scout by the wrong name, and Alexis asks if she’s okay.
Sonny pours drinks for Jason and himself. He wants to drink to justice – the kind of karma that bites someone in the ass. He says he let Ava live so she can suffer. She loses everything, and it’s the hell she deserves.
Sam tells Alexis that it’s the first time she’s raised a kid from scratch; she’s exhausted and thrown off her game. Alexis suggests she take some time for herself.
Jason asks what Sonny would have done if there hadn’t been a fire. Sonny says he would have let Ava run, and when people stopped missing her, he would have dealt with her on his terms. He says she’s in constant pain now, and will have surgeries for many years to come. He tells Jason that Ava tried to turn it around, saying that he and Carly had failed their son, and it’s a parent’s worst nightmare to think they failed when they were needed most.
Julian tells Lucas that he wishes things were different, and he’s sorry. Lucas asks what he’s sorry for – his crimes or that he has to pay for them. Julian says both. At least he’s honest.
Charlotte tells Valentin that people come and look for you when you skip school. Valentin promises her she’s not in trouble, and he’ll call it a field trip, so she’ll get extra credit. He tells her that he wants to play a game. It’s like Halloween, but they make up new names and life stories. If anyone asks anything, they’ll have the answers. To win, they have to play all the time, even when they’re by themselves. He gives her a passport with a new name, Geneviève. Valentin is Gaspar, and they hail from Montreal.
Anna tells Lulu about how Nina said Charlotte always wanted to visit Niagara Falls. She says if Valentin gets her across the border, they can disappear. Dante says one thing they have going for them is that he’s traveling with his daughter. Lulu asks what she can do. Anna says she’s Charlotte’s mother, and Valentin is a realist; he’d prefer Charlotte be with her than be a ward of the state. Laura says she’ll watch Rocco and man the phone. Anna tells Lulu, let’s go get your daughter. Like it’s going to be that simple.
Valentin quizzes Charlotte in French. There’s a knock at the door, and he tells her to practice her French in the bedroom. The hotel manager tells Valentin that someone was asking about them, but since Valentin was so generous at check-in, he knew nothing. Valentin slips him more money to be discreet. He tells Charlotte they have to go, and now the real game begins. He makes a call, saying there’s a change of plans, and he needs a car now.
Alexis tells Sam to go to the spa; she needs some time to recharge. Sam says she can’t ditch Scout, but Alexis says that’s what grandmas do – take the kids, corrupt them, and then give them back. Sam agrees to go. Alexis tells Scout that she thought Sam would never leave.
Lucas says he has no compassion for Julian. He tells Julian keep walking if he sees him outside of the hospital, and good luck in prison. Julian says that Lucas owes him nothing, but it still hurts.
Sonny tells Jason that when Morgan started to spiral, they couldn’t find the answer, but it was right in front of them. Why didn’t they just look?
Spencer is back! Laura opens the door, and there he is.
Charlotte tells Valentin that he promised they could see the Falls. He says sometimes plans change, but they’ll see them. He tells her that sometimes things don’t go your way, but they’ll be fine if they’re together. There’s a knock at the door. Valentin thinks it’s the car, but it’s Anna, Dante, and Lulu, who must have gotten there in a StarTrek transporter. I guess it was that simple.
Jason talks to Sonny about losing Jake, and wondering how he was going to get past it. Sonny says you can’t. The only knowledge he gained is that nothing is permanent. Jason doesn’t think Sonny and Carly are done just yet. He thinks they might have been brought closer by facing Ava down.
Julian sees Alexis at Perks. He tells her that she doesn’t have to leave. He looks at Scout. Alexis tells him to say hello to his granddaughter.
Laura asks Spencer how he got there. He’s like, um… She asks if he left school and flew by himself. He says there’s an app for everything. She asks how the school let him leave. He tells her that there’s also an app that can create a text from one’s grandmother saying there’s a family emergency. She says for shame, but he says shame never got anyone anywhere. She says she’s angry, but still glad he’s there because she can emotionally multitask. He brings up Valentin, and she says he’ll get what’s coming to him. Spencer says that’s why he’s here – he’s going to avenge his father and reclaim Windemere. He says Valentin would have kidnapped him if not for Sonny.
Charlotte comes out, and Lulu says, surprise! Valentin talks to Charlotte in French. She asks if she’s in trouble. He says no, but he wants her to go with her mother. He and Charlotte look sadly at each other.
Valentin asks if Charlotte feels at home with Lulu and their family. She says she does, and he tells her to go with them, and make him proud. She asks when he’s getting her. He says he has business to take care of, but it will be soon. She says he can take her to the Falls after school is over. He tells her good-by, and Dante and Lulu leave with her. He cries, and he’s making me want to cry.
Spencer says it sounds like Laura is going to try and talk sense into him. Laura tells him to stay away from Valentin. Spencer says he’ll make her mistress of Windemere again. She says that Windemere is big and cold, and it’s more comfortable here. He asks if they can get a pizza; he’s missed the local cuisine. She says she’s missed him, but has to send him back to France for his own good.
Sam gets a massage, but she’s not feeling it. The masseuse tells her to relax.
Alexis introduces Julian and Scout to each other. She asks if Julian wants to hold Scout, and he says more than almost anything. She’s very cute, and looks like a teeny tiny Hawaiian. Julian talks baby-talk to her. Alexis says she wishes Sam would take better care of herself; she practically had to force Sam to let her babysit. She asks about Ava, and Julian says there’s no change. He says if he goes to prison, there will be no going away party. and if he ends up alone, it’s on him. Alexis looks sad. God almighty, today is all about children and sad faces.
Valentin wants Anna’s word that Charlotte will want for nothing, saying that she’s extraordinary. Anna says he shouldn’t have run with her. What would have happened if there was a high-speed chase or SWAT team? She says that’s the man she knows, the one who made the good gesture. He says courts don’t recognize a gesture. He pulls out a gun, and tells Anna not to take it personally.
She asks if he’s going to kill her, and if that’s the legacy he wants to leave. He says he’ll never see Charlotte again. He’ll be shipped to a super max for the rest of his life by the ICC. Anna struggles with him, and the gun goes off.
Laura reminds Spencer about how great he thought the school was. He says he has a new perspective; any place that keeps him from his grandmother and pizza is a prison. She says he’s laying it on pretty thick. He asks how he can save the family while he’s conjugating French verbs.
Sonny tells Jason that he and Carly didn’t die; it must count for something. He asks about Sam and the kids. Jason says they’re great. Sonny says Olivia-J and Ava, one is as bad as the other. Jason thinks it’s not possible to love anything more than he loves his family.
Sam is still having a hard time. She apologizes, and the masseuse tells her to try and let go. She says sorry, she can’t do this. She’s just not big on massages.
Alexis tells Julian that at least he’s acknowledging the pain and damage that he caused. She says she did the same when she was drinking. She tells him that people don’t change overnight; some don’t change at all. Some can’t change who they are, but they can either change what they do, or make excuses and go back to hurting people. Julian says he’s not going to do that. He wants to prove himself worthy of her love. He reminds her about the hotel room, and says he loves her too. She says sometimes love isn’t enough, which is almost as bad as “love means never having to say you’re sorry.”
Sonny tells Jason that all he wanted is for his family to be safe and secure, but even if you plan for the future, the past is there to breathe down your neck
Julian tells Scout that if he gets paroled, he’ll come to her wedding. He’s sure that since he turned down the DA’s deal, they’re going to come after him full force. Alexis says that maybe Scotty is better than they think. Alexis leaves. Julian calls Scotty, and says there’s something important he has to talk about.
Sam gets home. Jason asks if she forgot the baby, but Sam says she’s with Alexis. She tells him about the massage, and how it had the opposite affect – she’s more tense now.
On the phone, Laura says that she’s glad everyone is all right. Spencer chows down on pizza. She tells him that she has a surprise of her own. He asks if he’s the surprise she’s talking about, ergo he’s staying. She says ergo nothing; she might send him home on a red eye. He says people bring their livestock on those. Is he talking about Snakes on a Plane? She tells him he can stay for now, and hugs him. We could all use some Spencer in our lives.
Anna and Valentin look into the mirror that was shot. Anna says that’s not him he’s looking at. She takes the gun, saying she remembers him; he’s a good man, and she liked and admired him. He says she didn’t want him kissing her. She says she was young, stupid, and naïve, and regrets it; she’s not the enemy. She didn’t manipulate him; it was Alex who betrayed him. He says but now she’s arresting him – it’s ironic. He tells her that she has transgressions of her own. He hopes there as good as gone, or someone will come for her one day. She asks if it will it make him happy, and he says no. She had her reasons. She’s changed and made a good life, and he hopes she keeps it; one of them should. He asks what she’s waiting for, and she reads him his rights, tears running down her face. He’s going to be extradited. If found guilty, he’ll go to a super max facility.
Tomorrow, Griff talks to Finn, Jordan and Curtis celebrate, and Lulu tells Valentin that Nina turned him in. Because she’s really an evil human being.
Below Deck Mediterranean
Adam tells Malia to forget about Wes. He kisses her, and she comes out with her lipstick all smeared like it’s a walk of shame. Max says it looks like a crime scene, and she didn’t even try to hide it. As usual, only thinking of himself, Bobby says he guesses any shot he had with her is gone. Who knows? Lauren and Hannah whisper, wondering who it was she was kissing, and Malia says say it to her face. Lauren says she just wants to know which one, but Malia says a lady never tells, the word “lady” being debatable. She tells Lauren that if she has anything to say, say it to her face and not to Hannah. Lauren suggests that next time, Malia take her makeup off first, before parading around.
Lauren sees Adam with his face full of lipstick, and says it’s him. Malia tells her that she kissed Wes too, and repeats that if she wants to know something, ask her. Lauren says she has to pick one, or there will be drama. In her interview, Malia says it’s no one else’s business. She tells Wes that he and Adam both kissed her tonight, and bugs Lauren again. In his interview, Wes says he broke his own rule because it felt natural, but now it hurts. Hey dude, at least you found out what she’s like early on.
Lauren tells Malia she’s worked on yachts before, and suggests it’s not a good look to make out with two guys that share a room. Hannah says they need to call it a night.
Wes asks Adam how he’s feeling, and tells him they both kissed Malia, which is apparently the theme tonight. Lauren says she didn’t do anything wrong, but now her roommate hates her. She tells Bugs what happened. Bugs asks if Wes knows, and now wishes she hadn’t told him to go for it.
Max says a storm is coming up, but Malia thinks it came last night. The crew gets ready for the new charter. Adam insists on a group hug with Malia and Wes. Ew! This is too creepy for me, but Malia is glad they’re not making it difficult for her. She hopes nothing happens with Bobby now. Like she has no control over this
Amber and Ken are the primaries, and Hannah remembers them from last season. We flash back to a bunch of unsettling drunks in the hot tub. Hannah hopes they step up their game and have an orgy. Their two main requests are make sure they never run out of vodka and Ken wants nothing to do with onions. They also want a water toy obstacle course, and to see some waterfalls. A ferry will have to be taken to the falls, since they don’t allow yachts that close.
A slide and a trampoline arrive. Wes says slides are his kryptonite. I know that everyone hates them. They’re difficult to handle and take up a lot of space. Malia finds Lauren doing laundry, and they hug it out. Lauren says she’s sorry if she hurt Malia’s feelings. Malia says she was feeling defensive, and she’s not that kind of girl, which I find doubtful. Lauren says everyone has one of those nights, and she’ll just forget it happened.
Hannah and Wes go over the schedule. Bugs apologizes to Wes, who says Malia doesn’t come across as that kind of person, but he’s cool with Adam. Adam tells Hannah it’s all good, but she wonders about that. He asks if he should find Wes another chick, since Malia is his. In his interview, he says typically, you don’t date your boss, so Wes should back off. Bugs asks Wes if he’s going to talk to Malia, and he says there are rules for reasons.
The guests arrive. Bobby is stoked to have Kenny and Amber back. Hannah gives the tour, and asks how they’ve been. Probably drunk. She introduces them to the hot tub, and wonders if there will be an eightsome. Captain Sandy tells Wes that he’s going to be doing everything.
Hannah tells Ken that the chef is good, and he asks if she’s sweet on him. She tells him that homie don’t play that. Bobby thinks they should get a student driver sign for the yacht with Wes in charge. Malia thinks it’s sexy the way Wes steers them off the dock. Okay.
Lauren would rather do laundry than have lunch. She wants to prove herself to Hannah. Bobby tells the new crew members about the last charter with Ken. Why is Adam preparing leeks? He says if the recipe calls for onions, he’s putting them in. Idiot. He watches as Ken picks them out, totally ignoring that and acting like he’s triumphed over onion dislike.
The nemesis slide is set up. Max tests it out. It does look like fun. They set up the trampoline, which doesn’t look like as much fun. The vodka flows. Hannah thinks Lauren is improving, and she hopes it stays that way. The guests change into their beachwear and play. Malia and Wes take the trampoline out on the Jet ski.
Hannah tells Lauren that she’s sending her to the waterfalls with the guests. Lauren is excited, and says it’s just what she needed to hear. Wes and Hannah discuss the trip. Malia will be going too, and Hannah says they’ll be taking the same ferry as the guests. The slide is brought back up with much grunting and groaning.
Adam is having trouble with the whole no onion thing. In his interview, he says that the heart of Southern cooking (which I’m assuming was their preference) is peppers, garlic and onions. Since when? He thinks the food will taste like sh*t without the onions. I don’t even cook that much, and I know there are recipes with no onions. I’m starting to think this guy is more of a cook than a chef. If he can’t figure out an alternative recipe, he certainly isn’t very talented. I’m sort of not liking him all around at this point.
Max calls his girlfriend, and says he misses her all the time, which is very sweet. Adam gets dinner prepared. Another gorgeous table, this time done in purple and gold. One of the guests makes a toast to nipples, saying that without them, breasts would be pointless. Sigh. Ken isn’t thrilled with his dinner. Hannah apologizes, and tells him that she’ll talk to Adam. In her interview, she’s like, why? Adam says it’s the first plate that’s ever come back. Well, then maybe he should listen to the preferences. Hannah doesn’t know what his problem is. Omg, the new dish still has chives in it. Ken can’t believe it – neither can I – and Amber tells Hannah it’s the only thing he doesn’t like. Hannah asks Adam to make something without anything from the onion family in it. Adam claims that people with new money always try to hold it over your head, and just send food back because they can, which makes no sense whatsoever. Even if they’re a little sloppy drunk, these guests seem fairly easy-going, and Adam is making a huge mistake here. Hannah tells Adam not to take it out on her. She doesn’t know where the attitude is coming from, but he’d better drop it. Where’s Ben when you need him? If the tip is lacking, this will totally be Adam’s fault. This also reminds me of something that happened to my father when he was dating my mother. The first time he had dinner at my grandparents’, it was misunderstood that he didn’t like mushrooms, and they were in everything – for example, not just in the gravy for the mashed potatoes, but in the potatoes themselves. At least, I think it was a misunderstanding. Now I’m wondering.
Hannah takes the third plate out. Dessert is banana bread pudding which sounds unappetizing, but looks wonderful. Adam promises a better dinner service tomorrow.
It’s hot tub time! One of the guests cuts their foot and bleeds into the water. Blech. Lauren says they’re drinking champions, and Hannah is concerned that they’re going to run out of vodka already. They only brought twenty bottles. Bugs talks to Adam about Malia. One of the guests wanders around with no pants. And no underwear either. Just a bunch of pixilated squares.
It’s morning, and the guests start off with Bloody Marys. Lauren wishes Bugs could come on the waterfall trip; she doesn’t want the guests to be let down. The river is absolutely beautiful. The captain gives Wes instructions for docking. Wes gives the directions, and she tells him nicely done. Bugs tells Hannah that Lauren is stressing out, and suggests they send another stew with her. Hannah is miffed about Bugs telling her how to do her job, but tells Lauren that Bugs can go with her.
Hannah says it’s like a beach picnic on steroids. They have to make sure everything is packed, since it’s not like they can just jet back to the yacht. Hannah asks Wes how he’s doing with his love interest, but he has no clue what’s going on. Adam is concerned about the food being out for too long already. He thinks it’s unprofessional of Hannah to be running late. I’m stunned. She tells him that he’s welcome to take the initiative with the food; she can’t do everything. He suggests that Bugs should be the chief stew, and Hannah suggests they get a chef who can read preference sheets. Exactly.
Next time, Adam and Malia take selfies at the waterfalls, obstacle course day happens, Bobby asks Malia if she’s interested, and Adam serves onion soup to be funny. Hint: The guests don’t think it is.
(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)
General Hospital
Anna tells Lulu that technically, Valentin has full custody of Charlotte, and has done nothing wrong. Dante comes home, and Lulu tells him about Valentin taking Charlotte.
Omg, Valentin has taken Charlotte to one of my favorite places in the world – Niagara Falls. He tells Charlotte they’re on vacation. She asks where Nina is.
Having coffee at Perks, and thinking about Valentin saying no matter what, he loves her.
Jason calls Elizabeth who fills him in on Jake. Carly walks in just as he’s leaving. He tells her that what happened started with Helena and ended at the Nurses Ball. Wasn’t she there? She tells him she knows why Morgan spiraled out of control. It was Ava; she sabotaged him.
Sonny tells Ava that she deserves what she’s getting. She asks him to kill her.
Lulu tells Dante that it’s all her fault. She went upstairs for a minute, and now she’ll probably never see her daughter again. She says Valentin is a master of vanishing in plain sight. Anna says he’s not going to make it easy. They don’t even know where to start looking.
Nina calls the hospital and asks about Valentin. She’s told that he checked out. I find this hard to believe, since they won’t give you any information about anyone these days.
Valentin tells Charlotte he’ll get situated, and she can pick out cool stuff to do. He has to meet a friend. He says Nina is a little angry with him. Charlotte asks if it’s because of Jake.
Laura stops by Elizabeth’s place to see how Jake is, but he’s sleeping. She tells Elizabeth how worried Charlotte was, but she and Emma woke up in good spirits, and Jake will get over it too. She shows Laura the shipping label from the magic kit. She thought it was odd how obsessed Jake was with it, but she was glad he was interested in something. She asks if she’s a bad mom.
Carly explains to Jason how Morgan’s pills were switched. He asks why Ava did it, and Carly says she thought he was bad for Kiki and wanted him committed. He asks where she is, and Carly tells him about how she and Sonny confronted Ava at the warehouse, and Ava started the fire. She says they got out, but she was trapped. He asks if it was anything they did, and Carly says they’ve been cleared of any wrongdoing. He tells her to steer clear of Ava, but Carly says Sonny wants her dead, and she’s not stopping him this time.
Ava tells Sonny to do what he came to do. He says he should have done it a long time ago. He talks about wanting payback after Connie’s murder, but he let her live because she was pregnant. He doesn’t regret Avery, but regrets every breath Ava has taken since. She could have ended up killing Carly like she did their son. Ava asks him to put her out of her misery. That was probably the wrong thing to say. Now he’ll never do it.
Sonny says no. He says the fire did a number on her, like it did on Morgan. He talks about the weeks before Morgan’s death, and how his mind was on fire, and he didn’t understand why he was spiraling. He suggests that he switch her morphine to sugar water. He says he has plenty of time, and she’ll be trapped in agony. Death is too merciful.
Nathan meets Nina at Perks. She tells him Valentin checked himself out of the hospital, and she can’t get ahold of him. Popping in out of nowhere, Anna says he’s a fugitive, and Nina has to help them find him.
Charlotte tells Valentin that when she brings him up, Lulu changes the subject. He says it’s a misunderstanding, like when you play telephone, and it’s better that they go away for a while. Charlotte says she never said good-by, and it’s rude. He tells her they can send Lulu a postcard. She goes off with the tourist maps, and Valentin calls someone. He needs to meet them right now.
Dante tells Lulu that they’ll find Valentin, and to let them do their job. She says she shouldn’t have told him, and never thought he’d run, but Dante says he had to have known. Dante tells her that Charlotte would have become a ward of the state, and Lulu says she can’t even blame Valentin, she’d do the same thing in his position. She says that she needs to be searching, but Dante says there’s a reason families aren’t involved in searches, and they have to do it by the book. He suggests Charlotte might call her, and Lulu says she knows how to find her.
Nurse Deanna asks Griff to do an assessment of Ava. Ava asks if Sonny is just going to watch her suffer, and he says it’s his pleasure. She’ll wish every day that he’d ended things. If there’s a minute she isn’t suffering, he’ll kill her. Griff walks in and asks what’s going on.
Carly tells Jason that Morgan is dead, Ava is alive, where the justice? Jason says she’s not going to honor her son this way, and she says easy for him to say. His children are alive.
Laura makes coffee. Elizabeth says Jake is still asleep. Laura tells her she’s not a bad mother. She had no way of knowing that Spencer didn’t send the package, and she would have had to be a psychic to know what was in the box. Elizabeth says she felt powerless, but Laura says that she wasn’t. Anna told her about how she talked Jake down. She says there’s something that goes deeper to the core of his soul than Helena’s programming – Elizabeth’s love for him; that’s what saved him. She brought her son back from the brink of disaster, and saved a lot of other people.
Lulu says Charlotte has a cellphone that can only call Valentin, but can receive calls. She finds a Post-It with the number, and calls it.
In Niagara Falls, Charlotte’s phone rings, and she answers it. Charlotte tells Lulu that she sounds scared. Lulu says she is; when she came back downstairs, Charlotte was gone. Charlotte asks if she was mad, but Lulu says just concerned. She asks where Valentin is, and Charlotte tells her that papa is in the other room. Lulu says she can pick her up, but Charlotte says they’re finally going on a trip that she wanted to go on. Lulu asks where she is. Valentin takes the phone and asks who Charlotte is talking to.
Nina tells Anna it’s not her problem they set her up. She says she just found out Valentin isn’t in the hospital. Anna asks if she wants Charlotte to be a fugitive for the rest of her life. She says Valentin isn’t thinking clearly. Nina says she doesn’t know where Charlotte is. Anna asks if she’d tell if she did.
Valentin takes the phone. Lulu asks where they are. He tells her that calling is a violation of their agreement. She says when Anna finds them, it won’t be good for Charlotte. Valentin says if she wants what’s best for Charlotte, not to contact them again, and hangs up. It wasn’t enough time for Dante to trace the call.
Elizabeth wonders how Helena had the Chimera, and Laura brings her up to speed. Elizabeth asks if there’s anyone’s life Valentin hasn’t turned upside down. Laura tells her that even so, Valentin wouldn’t turn over the Chimera, and got shot saving Nina’s life. He’s alive and wounded, but expected to survive. Elizabeth says it sounds heroic, but Laura says it doesn’t redeem him in her eyes. She can’t dismiss him as being an unfeeling monster anymore though. He raised her granddaughter and Charlotte loves him. She doesn’t know how Lulu is going to reconcile this. Elizabeth says she loved Nicholas and hated his dad, but Laura says by the time Nicholas came back, Stavros was gone. Elizabeth says that people who you believed are past redemption can find the strength to do better. Laura says Valentin is facing criminal charges, and will be sent to prison. It won’t erase the problems, but it should make them simpler, and they could all use a little bit of simple.
Sonny says he didn’t know Griff was the attending physician. Griff says it’s on the chart that Sonny isn’t supposed to be holding. He tells Sonny that he should have him arrested. Sonny says he was just checking on Ava’s condition, like Griff is stupid. He tells Griff about how Ava’s machinations killed Morgan. Griff says it’s a matter for the police. Sonny says he hopes that Ava lives a long life, and leaves. Dammit, Griff! I wish he would call the police. It’s annoying to me that Sonny and Carly have both done horrible things, yet act all sanctimonious when the shoe is on the other foot. And okay, I didn’t really like Morgan all that much and miss him not at all.
Carly apologizes to Jason. She never wants to make light of what happened with Jake. He says he’s there for her. There’s a knock at the door. It’s too-creepy-for-my-taste-right-now Sonny. Jason says he’s sorry. Sonny says there’s no way he could have known. Carly says Sonny put all the pieces together. He says he thought if he got answers, they could get closure and peace, but he’s not feeling the peace. He tells Carly he went to the hospital, but thinks the best punishment is for Ava to live.
Griff tells Ava they don’t think there’s any permanent nerve damage, which is good news. She says not good news to her. She can’t live like this. He says she’ll be assessed for skin grafts, but it will be a while before they can start. He talks about the complications. Ava says there’s no hope.
Charlotte asks if she did something wrong. Valentin says it’s his fault. She asks if they can see some sights, and he says they’re going to see her nana too. There’s a knock at the door, and he asks her to go in the bedroom while he discusses boring stuff with his friend. When Charlotte is gone, the friend gives him two passports.
Nina asks Anna if Valentin deserves to be arrested. She goes over what Alex did, and says it wasn’t Valentin’s idea; he did it to help her. He went on the run with a life-threatening condition; the scoliosis would have killed him. She says he had no choice and didn’t know what he was doing, being so young. He didn’t do any of it, and saved the day. Nathan says it’s not that simple, but Nina says what if it is? Valentin changed his life. She asks if he believes people can change, then asks Anna if she doesn’t think people deserve a second chance.
Lulu calls Anna, telling her about the phone call, and says all she and Dante know is that Charlotte is taking a trip she wanted to go on. Anna says thanks, and she’s working on it. Anna tells Nathan and Nina what happened, and asks Nina if she knows where they might be. Nathan says she really needs to tell them if she knows anything. Don’t do it, Nina.
Elizabeth straightens up. She looks at the shipping label again.
Carly asks how it’s punishment for Ava to move on with her life. Sonny says she’ll be in recovery a long time, and if she does recover, she’ll be tried. Carly asks when he started trusting the legal system. She says that there are ways it wouldn’t be traced back to them, but Sonny says that Ava will suffer for life. Carly says that at least she has a life, unlike their son, and walks out
Griff tells Ava that he didn’t say there was no hope. In medical school, they’re trained to speak clinically, but he can speak with her as a priest. In difficult times, he’s found his faith to be a comfort. He says it might be breaking regulations, but he can pray with her. She thanks him. He takes her hand and prays the Hail Mary. She prays with him.
Laura asks Lulu why there are squad cars outside. Lulu tells her that Valentin went on the run, and took Charlotte. They hug. Dante promises they’ll find her.
Anna asks Nina where Valentin might take Charlotte. Nina says maybe Bulgaria. Nathan thinks there must be somewhere closer to home. Anna insists she has to tells them, and Nina is like, are you kidding? Nathan says life on the road is no life for Charlotte or Valentin. Anna says the WSB will never stop looking, and it won’t be old friends who find them. Nina balks at Anna being an old friend, but Nathan asks what if he gets shot, and says that they should take him peacefully while they have the chance. Nina says Niagara Falls is where Valentin would have taken Charlotte for a vacation. Dammit!
Valentin says that once they cross border, they’re disappearing.
Tomorrow, Jason and Sonny talk, Lucas is alive (I sometimes wonder, when he disappears for so long) and talking to Julian, Anna thinks she knows where Valentin is, and Valentin needs a car now.
Southern Charm
A petting zoo with kittens and bunnies is set up for Saint’s birthday party. I guess it’s better than the kids poking at llamas and donkeys. Thomas says the days are long, but the years are short. Everyone is getting ready, but Landon cancels. Elizabeth is riding with Kathryn. Kathryn tells us it’s a huge deal for her. She’s in a completely different place, and she’s anxious to show that.
On the way there, Cameran and Patricia talk about the party. Patricia thinks it must be embarrassing to come as a guest to your own son’s party, and they bemoan that there probably won’t be booze.
Kathryn arrives. Kelsie is drinking sweet tea, which is just what children need to consume – caffeine and lots of sugar. Kathryn thanks Thomas for his letter, and he apologizes for his penmanship. I’d be impressed that penmanship was involved at all. He watches as Kathryn holds Saint. She compliments him on the party. Some little kids arrive, and JD (bleh) calls it a perfect family gathering.
Thomas tells JD (bleh) that it’s a baby step with Kathryn. Patricia immediately wants to know where the pseudo petting zoo is. If she can’t have liquor, she can at least pet a kitten. Chelsea shows up with Austen, and the cheese Shep arrives alone. Kathryn waves to Jennifer, but keeps walking. In her interview, Jennifer says you would think she’d want to see the baby. She says she knows all she needs to know. Whatever that means.
Chelsea asks Kathryn if she’s done her headshots yet, but she’s still waiting on that. In her interview, Patricia says she has no intention of having a conversation with Kathryn, since she’s not a hurricane or tornado tracker. The cake comes out, and everyone sings Happy Birthday. Saint gets a little cake of his own. Because he needs more sugar than everyone else. In her interview, Kathryn says if things could be this way forever, she’d be happy. No, you’d still have to deal with Thomas.
Kathryn gives Thomas a picture of Saint from when he was just born. In his interview, Thomas feels sad that the kids can’t have both parents all the time. The Great Philosopher JD (bleh) says that kids do better with both parents. Thomas and Kathryn take a family photo.
Landon meets Jennifer at a restaurant, bearing a baby gift. A pillow with Ascher’s name on it, which I assume is more for Jennifer, since baby’s aren’t supposed to have pillows now. Sitting out on the deck, they order champagne and fancy food. Landon asks about the party. Jennifer says there were no altercations, and in her interview, Landon says two-hours of good behavior doesn’t impress her. She tells Jennifer about going to dinner with Thomas. She says just as she was telling Thomas that she didn’t want a relationship, a drunk stranger said they were soulmates. They actually keep leaving out the drunk part. This woman was practically falling out of her chair, and I wondered if Bravo paid her to say that. Landon is concerned that people will say she’s only after Thomas’s money. In her interview, Jennifer thinks there would be an explosion if Kathryn found out they were dating. She tells Landon that she thinks Thomas has done an about-face. He isn’t perfect, but neither are they. Landon thinks she might have a point. Jennifer says it’s cliché, but you only have regrets about what you don’t do. Landon says it’s the best advice she’s heard. Apparently, she’s not on the internet.
Thomas visits Patricia. She talks about taking seven years of French and only being able to order clothes and food. I took two years, and can only tell you how to pack a suitcase and curse you out. She asks about the birthday party, and Thomas says he thinks Saint was oblivious. Of course he was – he’s a one-year-old. She says he and Kathryn seemed amicable, and asks if he’s over Kathryn. He says no way they’re getting back together. She asks if he’s met anyone, and he tells her about his date with Landon, and how she’s giving him mixed messages. Patricia says there’s something to be said for friendship first, and you can’t find lasting romance at the bar. She tells him that when men really knew how to court women, they called on them, took them places, gave them flowers, and it built into a relationship. She suggests he and Landon go for a walk. She tells Thomas that if he doesn’t take chances in life, he’ll never get anywhere. He says faint heart never won fair lady, quoting Gilbert and Sullivan, who were probably quoting someone else.
Cameran, who’s wearing an awesome black crocheted top with bell sleeves, goes to see her therapist, Myra. She tells her about the psychic proclaiming that she’ll have three children. Myra tells her to reflect on it. Cameran wonders what if she’s putting off her greatest purpose, and thinks she’s too self-involved, which is gross to her. In her interview, she says there has to be more. She talks about her husband wanting children, and how it breaks her heart because he’d be the best dad. She thinks she’s robbing a child of the opportunity of having him as a father. Myra says she knows her answer, and it will be okay. Cameran whines that she’s going to get fat.
Chelsea and Austen go crabbing. He says when he caught crabs before, he went to a doctor to clear it up. BA-DUM-CHH! In his interview, Austen says he’s not the type to jump into a relationship, but when he meets someone he likes, he’s into it. He keeps calling the beginnings of a relationship “puppy love,” and it’s incredibly annoying, since that’s not what the term means. Chelsea says they’re going to crab the way the “Indians” did, and puts some sticks in the ground. I guess she didn’t get the memo about it being Native American now. Frankly, I’m not a stickler for labels, since they change monthly, but that’s one I appreciate, since it makes sense to differentiate our own indigenous people from those of Indian descent. Austen doesn’t think he’s Mr. Relationship, but his parents are like partners in crime, and that’s what he’s looking for. Crabbing doesn’t work out so well, and Chelsea says they’ll be stopping at Chick-Fil-A on the way home.
Landon’s business partner, Anna, calls her. Thomas puts on eye cream. Landon tells Anna they have to figure out the name situation, and lists some names that even I know they can’t use. Thomas arrives in a suit, bearing a rose like he’s a Bachelor contestant. He says he was in the neighborhood. Ugh. I hate that. An ex-boyfriend once called me saying that, and I asked why he was in my neighborhood. Landon tells Thomas that for the future, orchids are her favorite. She ends the call with Anna, and Thomas asks her to go for a walk. As they leave, Landon says that her house is for sale, and she’s just renting. Because he’s clueless, Thomas tells her to just buy it, but she doesn’t have a million dollars.
They sit on a bench by the lake. Landon has brought Charlotte, and says it’s nice to have Thomas along, since she usually does the walk alone. He tells her to just call him, since he doesn’t live far. Well, she got what she wanted – someone to walk the dog with. She says she couldn’t believe the (drunk) woman at dinner. He asks if it rang true to her, and she says she’s happy when she’s with him. He suggests they take a chance. She wonders what they do from here, and he says get some wine.
On their way to a drive through with Gizmo, Craig tells Naomie that he has a surprise for her. She tells him that she’s a worrier, and he says it’s a slippery slope to paranoia. In his interview, he says he’s working on a better relationship. They talk about Shep, and Naomie says he’s a kind person, but not to Craig. She wonders if Shep is jealous of Austen, but Craig thinks he’s just unhappy. In his interview, Craig says Shep can’t stand seeing other people happy, and covers it up. Craig pulls up to a house. Cameran is there, and they’re doing a final walk-through.
Naomie approves of the neighborhood. Good. I was so worried. Naomie says she wasn’t sure Craig was actually going to do it. She thinks the house is bigger on the inside than it looks from the outside, and I know exactly what she means. It’s so weird when a house is like that. She tells Craig that she’s excited for him. Cameran says he’ll have the keys in ten days. In his interview, Craig thinks that he’s adulting well. They talk about Saint’s party. Cameran says she’s planning something for her own birthday, and is thinking of inviting the whole circus. Naomie thinks the sh*t is going to hit the fan, because Thomas showed up at Landon’s proclaiming his love. Not quite, but okay. Cameran wonders why Landon out of everyone in the world, and if they really did get together before.
Commercial break with important information. The Real Housewives of the OC starts a new season on Monday July 10th at 9 pm.
Shep goes to Chelsea’s house. Another one who was “in the neighborhood.” He asks for a beer, saying he’s in a major shift with his lifestyle. He thinks he wants to move, and Cameran is showing him a house tomorrow. Chelsea says it will just be another frat house, but he says it’s a recalibration, and he might even become a one-woman guy. He asks if she and Austen are happy. She says they’re just hanging out, no pressure, and Shep thinks that’s very adult. He asks if they see other people. Chelsea says she’s not out with anyone else, but doesn’t like checking in. Shep says he’s an idiot for not cultivating their relationship because she’s like a unicorn. He says they smooched, and then he took off. She says she felt like just another late-night rendezvous. She doesn’t want to feel like “that girl.” Shep wonders what he was thinking.
Cameron checks out the house she’s supposed to show Shep, and says there’s potential. There are also two big dogs on the enclosed back porch. She calls Shep, and gets voicemail. She leaves a message saying that she’s waiting for him. A half-hour later, she calls again, and gets voicemail again. She’s not happy. We see a snail. She thinks Shep must be in jail or still in bed. She calls Chelsea from the car, telling her that she can’t find him, and she’s pissed, but also worried. She’s headed to his house. Chelsea tells Cameran they were hanging out for a while, but he left to meet his cousins. Cameran says his whole idea of getting the house was to get a new lifestyle, and he can’t even show up.
Cameran drives to Shep’s place. She knocks. No answer. She opens the door. Again, who does that??? She looks around. No Shep, just a messy table with empties. She goes upstairs. What if he was with someone? Geez. He’s still in bed, alone, and she tells him it’s one in the afternoon and his door was unlocked. She waited at the house for an hour. He says he feels bad about that, and she says that he should. Definitely agreed. She thinks it’s one of the lowest points she’s seen him. She asks what happened, and he says what happened is why he wants to leave. There’s a frat party every night. She tells him that he needs self-control. He says he’s usually punctual, and she says she knows that, so she was making sure he wasn’t robbed or dead.
Next time, Kelsie has a photo shoot, Cameran talks to an unhappy Shep, Chelsea tells Austen that Shep tried to kiss her, and Austen confronts Shep. Lotsa Shep.
🌟 More good news! The Shahs of Sunset (one of my favorites!) begins again on Sunday, July 16th at 8 pm. Thank you, Bravo, for that time slot. For once, it won’t interfere with something else.
🍸 I still can’t decide if I like Southern Charm Savannah or not. I don’t think I like the cast members as much as the original show. Other people might be feeling the same way, since there was a crossover this week with both Shep and Thomas making appearances (with some Austen on the side) when the cast evacuated to Charlotte because of Hurricane Matthew. Not to downplay anyone’s angst, but it must be nice to get mani/pedis while worrying about your home being okay. I slept upstairs during Hurricane Sandy and hoped I woke up. I had to laugh when one of them suggested it would take a month for the town to get back to normal. It took at least three years here, and some places still aren’t back to normal. Shep, whose brother and sister live in Charlotte, partied hardy and Thomas gave life advice to Catherine. It was odd to see them out of context. The best quote of the night was Shep saying that “Bad decisions are on the horizon.” I have no doubt.
👸 Yet something else to look forward to – Odd Mom Out premieres on Wednesday, July 12th at 10 pm. My head might explode with all this joy!
🌱 Another nugget of wisdom…
Eat, drink and remarry. – Patricia Altchul, Southern Charm
(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)
Fear the Walking Dead
It’s ba-a-a-ack! Now if I can just remember everyone’s names.
Travis and company have been captured. They’re dragged past fields of rotting corpses, and are thrown into trucks. It’s some kind of military operation, or at least looks like one. They’re driven to a camp and are separated. Travis hears screams, and sees a guy getting a number written on his forehead. Travis is weighed and measured, and a number is written on his hand. He’s left in a supply room where there are a bunch of other people.
Travis sees Nick. Luci’s head rests on his shoulder. I’d better clarify that – her body is attached to it.
Travis sits next to Nick and tells him that his mother has been taken somewhere else. He asks about Chris, but Travis says nothing. Luci asks if he saw anyone at the border, but he says just the dead. Nick says he thought it was a refugee camp. Travis says they’ll get out of there – all of them.
Alicia and Madison look around the office they’ve been deposited in, but can’t find anything. A soldier brings some tea and introduces himself as Troy. He says they shouldn’t have been handled so roughly, but it was security protocol. He says that Travis is being processed. Madison tells him they’re looking for her son, Nick, and need his help. He wants to know why they came from Mexico, and Madison says a friend had a place there, and asks him to let them go. She says her son is out there alone, and if it was him, his mother would do anything to find him. Troy says his mother passed, and he doesn’t get lost much anyway.
Alicia asks what happens after they’re processed. Troy says they get supplies and off they go. Really? He leaves them.
Troy confers with some other soldiers. They look at forehead number guy’s eyes. He’s dead, but his foot begins to move. He’s chained to the wall and they right down some statistics. Troy goes to Travis and asks if he’s Mexican. He says no; he’s Māori, and Troy calls him a warrior. Nick asks where his mom and sister are, and Troy says they’re being processed. He says he’s not a savage, and tells them they give all the mercy they can offer to the sick and maimed.
Alicia waters a plant with the tea, and says they’re going to be killed. Madison says no, they’re being treated too well. Alicia gives her the tip of a bayonet she has stashed in her shoe. She tells Alicia she’ll get them out.
Another prisoner tells Travis that he can get them out, but he needs someone strong enough to back him. If Travis can get them out of the room, he can get them out of the compound. He sees a guy struggling with a soldier, saying please don’t, but the soldier shoots him.
Commercial break. They tell us that Fear the Walking Dead is brought to us by The Mummy, which I find amusing.
Chained zombie guy starts writhing against the chains. Travis asks the other prisoner how he’s getting them out of there, and I swear that he says something about cheese. He explains his plan, but he mumbles, and I have no clue what he told Travis. He says someone shot him, and they have zero options and time. Travis agrees to help. He watches the soldiers get testy with one another. One says they’re supposed to be out of there in 24-hours, and to hurry it up – it doesn’t matter how they get dead. He pulls a couple of guys out and shoots them.
Alicia and Madison nap. Troy makes notes. Madison wakes up, and he tells her the coffee is warm. This dude is way too smiley. She asks what he’s writing, and he tells her that he makes observations. She asks if they passed processing, and he says with flying colors. She asks about Travis and he says it’s different criteria. Troy says he’s not a bad person, and Madison tells him that no one said he wasn’t. She asks if Travis is dead, and says she loves him. Troy asks if she loves his life more than hers, and she says yes.
Notes are taken about the dead guys. Travis asks what’s up. A soldier says the infected have senses, and they’re doing this for everyone’s betterment. Travis says what they’re doing is pointless, and asks if the people understand what’s going on. The soldier says they’ve volunteered, and it’s for science. He asks if Travis hasn’t murdered anyone. He’s about to pull out another prisoner, when Travis says to take him instead. The soldier says that’s a first. I thought he just said they volunteered. While Travis is being chained, he whacks the guy, and everything goes nuts.
Madison asks what Troy wants. Troy says he can take them home. She asks about Travis, and he says the resources are limited. She asks if Travis is alive. Troy says if she comes, he will be. They hear a gunshot, and Troy runs out. The prisoners are escaping, and everyone is running. Travis faces the soldiers while Nick runs with Luci. They manage to get into a sewer pipe. Over by Travis, the prisoner who said he could get them out gets his throat cut.
Travis is brought back in. Gee, that went well. Troy asks what happened. A soldier says two of his got away, and one of theirs died. Troy says a tender moment between him and Madison was interrupted. He wants Travis kept safe. He says Travis is special, and treat him as such. Take him out back. “Out back” is never special, or even a good thing.
Nick has to stop. Luci says she’s slowing him down, and he says never, kissing her. He tells her that she has to live.
Troy goes back to the office, and Madison jumps out from behind the door. They struggle. Alicia comes out from behind the couch. Madison stabs Troy in the eye with a spoon. She tells him he’ll lose the eye if he moves. That’s actually an amazing move. Was she with the Navy SEALS or something before the apocalypse? She tells Alicia to go find out what’s happening.
Alicia goes outside. Travis and Luci continue on. Planes fly overhead. Nick gets to the end of the tunnel. It’s blocked, but he gets it open – and confronts a horde of zombies. He and Lucy run back.
A soldier explains the experiments to Travis. Some kind of nonsense with statistical differences between the dead and the undead. Travis is led to a pit where there are zombies milling around. They throw him in. The only thing worse than a zombie is a bored zombie.
Madison takes Troy outside. She’s got him in a hold with one arm, and with the other, is still gripping the spoon in his eye. He tells her that she’s going to be dead, but yells to the others to back off. In the pit, Travis cracks a few zombies in the head. For a pacifist, he’s pretty good at this. In the meantime, Alicia tries to break into a car. Travis pikes some zombies with a metal rod he’s found. When he loses that, he punches them out. A cinderblock also comes in handy. The head soldier says he’s impressed, but Travis should save his strength – he’ll need it. He unleashes more zombies.
Madison says she thought Troy was going to let him go. Troy’s brother, Jake, approaches, telling Madison to release Troy. He says Troy knows he brought this on himself. Madison says she wants her family. Jake says if she lets Troy go, he’ll find her family. She releases Troy, and whacks him when he tries to grab her. Jake asks where her family is.
Nick and Luci hide, but we can hear the zombies close by. Alicia hears Nick, and looks through a vent to see him struggling with a zombie. She throws a weapon down, and Luci kills the zombie. Alicia is taken away by two guys, and Nick sees Madison with some soldiers, who tell the others to let Travis out. Travis rushes Troy, but Madison says he’s safe now. Alicia and Chris show up. Everything is cool for five seconds.
Commercial break. Valerian looks awesome!
Jake says he wishes Travis would reconsider; it’s a sanctuary. Troy was doing experiments on his own, and Jake says it won’t happen again. Madison says they want their guns back. She thanks Travis. She cleans his face with a washcloth, and says she’s sorry. She’s here and his family is here. He says he’s okay now; he’s with her.
Troy’s brother tells him get in, get the fuel, get out. He says Troy has killed innocent people, and Troy says they were going to die anyway. Jake smacks him, and asks, who is he to decide that? He asks what Troy has learned. That would be nothing. Troy leaves. As he’s walking out, he looks proudly at the blood stains on the “lab” wall.
A soldier walks through a corridor and hears a noise from behind the wall. He puts his ear to the wall and listens. He looks through the vent, but can’t see, so he removes it. About a thousand rats drop out. Then a zombie pulls him toward the vent opening. Suddenly, he gets sucked through it like it was a hole in a flying airplane.
Jake begs Madison to stay. She asks him for the car keys. They hear gunshots, and see zombies walking out of one of the buildings. Madison runs to get Travis, saying they have to go now. Suddenly, there are zombies everywhere. Madison is surrounded. Nick runs to help her while she’s slicing and dicing. Jake lands a helicopter, and they pile in, but Madison and Nick are still fighting the zombies. Troy shoots at the zombies, and Madison and Nick run to his truck. The helicopter takes off. A few zombies hang from it. Madison and Tavis look at each other. I’m driving myself crazy, because since the beginning of this show, I’ve wanted to call Nick “Chris,” and I keep typing it.
Everyone clears out from the compound. A caravan of trucks hits the road. The helicopter flies off.
Part Two
In the helicopter, Luci asks for Nick, and Alicia says she’ll see him soon. Bullets start coming through the helicopter windows. Travis is shot in the neck. It’s hard to put pressure on a wound when you’re passing out. The helicopter starts to go down. Travis opens the door. Jake tells him to stay in his seat. They start to nosedive. Alicia holds Travis in, but sees how badly he’s hurt, and lets him fall. Then she calls after him like we didn’t see what we just saw. Well, my mouth is hanging open.
Meanwhile, back at the hotel, people are swarming at the gate. They say they know there’s a doctor in there. Elena says she’s sorry; they have nothing for them. One of them grabs her by the hair, and holds her head to against the gate. Victor approaches, and says he can provide medical care; he’s a doctor. Elena is let go, and the people look hopeful. Victor says he’s injured, but can’t let them suffer. He tells Elena to let them have her empty rooms to heal and recover.
Jake tells Alicia that Luci is as stable as she’s going to get, and whoever shot them might still be out there. He tells her for what it’s worth, she did the right thing. She wonders if Travis survived (oh come on), but Jake says he’s gone. He says knows the mountains and can get them home. He tells her that Travis would want that, but Alicia snaps that he doesn’t know what Travis would want.
Troy listens to Insane Clown Posse or Rammstein or something. Madison looks like she has a headache, and he turns it off. The caravan approaches what was once a ranch. The guard says Jake hasn’t been there and is overdue. Troy tells the others to get out of the truck and wait. A guard closes the gate. Gee, thanks for the ride to we-don’t-know- where.
Nick says tat they should backtrack and find the others. Madison says they could end up running in circles, or they could get themselves killed. Nick asks what the plan is if it’s just the two of them. Madison tells Nick to hug his mother, and he feels the gun in her waistband. She says they need to bring their family together and stop anyone who gets in their way.
Victor pulls a bullet out of somebody’s leg. Victor ponders. He’s asked to come, a woman’s water just broke. He thinks they should just let nature take its course, and says he’s not a baby doctor. The husband gets angry and asks why he’s been allowed to treat them. Victor agrees the deliver the baby, and tells everyone to get out, except Nurse Elena.
Madison says most of the people there are civilians. Nick says they don’t need them, but Madison says his girlfriend does. He says fine, but then they go. He isn’t sure what he’ll do if he has to stay longer. A rancher gives Madison a cup of coffee. He says he heard her husband over the helicopter radio, and tells her that sometimes a helicopter sets down in bad weather. He asks if she knows of any reason Travis might have taken the helicopter, but she says he’d want their daughter to get there safely. The rancher says he had to ask. His son and goddaughter are on there too. Madison says she put a spoon in his other son’s eye, making me laugh, and the rancher says that he’s lucky it wasn’t a fork, making me laugh again. He introduces himself as Joseph, and welcomes them to the ranch, opening the gate. Nick tells Madison it’s not safe. He says he doesn’t trust these people, but she tells him to trust her.
Joseph says they were already there, off the grid, before the world ended, and the rise of the dead caught them by surprise. He says they’re self-sustaining, and Madison points out that they’re also armed. He says he heard Troy’s side of it, and Nick asks if he wants to hear theirs. Joseph says he’ll hear everything when Jake gets back. He tells them it’s the safest place to be, and most people would be grateful to be there. He shows them to a bunkhouse, and tells them where the facilities are. Madison thanks him.
After he leaves, Nick loudly says his son’s a murderer, and Madison tells him to lower his voice. She asks if he wants to start a war with all of them – then he’ll see murder. Nick says it’s his fault, leading them to that place, and he has to do something. Madison says no, he doesn’t. Right now, they’re going to eat sh*t, smile, and bide their time. She wants to save them all too, but he has to help. Nick says he’s not sitting by while they sharpen their knives, and walks out.
Jake builds a fire, and says he’ll take first watch. Alicia asks what will happen with Luci when they get back, and expresses concern about Troy. Jake says they’ll keep an eye on him. He explains how Troy had been like this since he was young, and says you make allowances for those you love. Alicia says she made allowances for her brother, and it almost got him killed. They hear something, and Jake stomps out the fire.
Jake gives Alicia a gun. He tells her to stay put until he gets back. If he doesn’t, get the others to the ranch. He walks out into the dark. He looks around, and then stumbles down a small cliff. He quickly finds his gun, and hears the sounds of zombies eating. He shines the flashlight into a zombie face. It comes after him, and he whacks at it with the flashlight, trying to deal with his gun. It’s about an inch from his neck, when a shot rings out and it drops. Another one takes its place, and we see Alicia at the top of the cliff. She shoots that one too. Jake is pretty freaked. He asks for the gun, and tells Alicia to find her way back quickly. He has to take care of it before more come.
Alicia goes back, and Jake sees that the zombies were eating his co-pilot. Alicia hears a gunshot.
The baby is being named after Victor. Elena says he calmed the people, but his lie is now theirs. If the people turn on him, they’ll turn on them too. She says he has to go. On foot. Before he leaves, Hector says there’s a woman who has lost her senses, a poor woman who refuses food. He gives Victor a plate, and tells him to convince her to eat. He goes into the room and says he brought food. It looks like Marie Antoinette moonlighting as a stripper lives here. Loads of dishes with dainty sweets on them, and boxes of frilly accessories. Victor sees a mannequin, and is about to touch it, when a woman pops out of nowhere. He recognizes Ilene, and says he was sent there to treat her. She apologizes for stabbing him, and says she was distraught and hopeless. He tells her to get some fresh air in the room, and tries to open the balcony door, but it’s stuck. He says he can’t stay there, but has nowhere to go, and no way to get him there.
Victor finally gets the door open, and Ilene thanks him. He tells her about the woman in labor, and how he delivered a baby. He says it was terrifying. If the child lives, it’s a new generation and might give them a reason to hope. Ilene asks where he’d go if he left, and he says he has a place in mind. She takes something out of a pocket, and gives it to him. She says it was supposed to be a wedding gift, but it’s the least she can do for what she did. He opens what looks like a jewelry case, and thanks her. She thanks him for freeing her little girl.
Ilene tells Victor that there are no more generations, and jumps off the balcony.
Jake polishes his gun. Alicia tells him that she’s sorry. Luci is unconscious, and Alicia can’t get her to wake up. Jake says they’ll be at the ranch in a few hours. He tells her that it’s a terrible world. Did he just figure this out?
The guard at the ranch sees Jake coming, and the gate is opened. Madison hugs Alicia while Luci is being tended to. She wonders where Travis is, but Alicia doesn’t say anything. Madison sees her face, and says, no. Nick runs to Lucy and creepy Troy walks around smiling. He says Luci isn’t going to make it, so she doesn’t go to the infirmary. Nick says that it’s Troy’s fault, and Troy says he’d do it again. Troy says she’ll turn, and is about to shoot her. Nick tells Troy that he’ll do it, but Troy says no. For whatever reason, he relents, and gives Nick the gun. Chris points the gun at Troy, and the others draw their guns. Nick tells them to let her in, and Troy says that’s not how they do things. Madison tells Nick to stop, and he says not this time. Joseph steps between Nick and Troy, and asks for the gun. Nick says he can’t let Luci die. Joseph says if she has a pulse, they’ll let her in, but he has to give him the gun. Madison says to give it to him, and Nick hands the gun over. Joseph tells them to take Luci to the infirmary, and the show’s over. Madison tells Alicia to get herself checked out. She stands alone for a moment, fighting back tears, before walking back in. The gate closes.
Madison cries under a tree. Joseph finds her. She tells him she’s not well. He says after his first wife left, he drank a lot of JD and Coke, and had many a bad morning. She asks why he’s there. He tells her that after someone has this kind of loss, sometimes they take matters into their own hands, and these days, it presents another set of problems. Part of his job is to make sure she’s not a danger to herself or anyone else. She says it’s too soon to tell. Joseph says it looks like they’re missing a Beretta from the fuel truck, and asks if she borrowed it. If she did, she has to sign it out like a library book. She signs the ledger. He tells her he’s sorry for her loss. Madison says he was a good man, and Joseph says he believes it, being with a woman like her. I like Joseph.
Nick watches Luci. Alicia comes in, and he thanks her for getting Luci back. He asks if she’s okay, and hugs her. She cries.
Victor unlocks a car in the parking garage. He takes the cover off, saying it’s his style and color. I call it fancy black car, because I know diddly about cars.
Alicia and Nick find Madison, who insists she’s okay. She says Nick asked if she has a plan, and she does. They’re going to stay there, and make it their home, even if they have to take it over. She says it’s their fate. They suffered to get there, and Travis died; they have to accept it. She wants to know how it happened, and asks Alicia to tell her everything about how Travis died. We see the family in a tableau.
This season, there will be lots of zombies, but Nick says the monster there is worse than the one outside.
🐎 Sadly, it was the Return to Amish finale tonight. I’ve been having the best time watching it; I hate to see it go. To end the season, the group took a trip to Las Vegas. Supposedly as a honeymoon for Jeremiah and Carmella, who haven’t had a night without her children since they began their relationship, which sounds like as good an excuse as any. Having broken her ankle slipping on some ice a few days before, Mary didn’t let it interfere with her fun, and got around on a scooter. She had her picture taken with a couple of Chippendales dancers, did some gambling, and got her drink on. Jeremiah and Carmella renewed their vows, dressed as a cowboy and Native American princess, while Elvis officiated. Everyone had a day at the salon beforehand, where, true to filterless form, Sabrina suggested that in lieu of a Brazilian wax, Mary start a trend called the “buggy trail,” causing fits of hysterical laughter. The best part was seeing Rebecca and Sabrina make up, and at least for the moment, everyone being a family again. It also did Mary’s heart a world of good. Sadly, there was no happy ending for much of the cast, according to the end blurbs. Jeremiah and Carmella have separated, Chester is on the verge of being shunned because Mary is having too much fun, and although they didn’t say it in these words, it sounded like Sabrina may have relapsed, but still fighting the good fight about her children. I hope they come back for another season or retitled show to figure it out. Abe tells us that at the end of the day, they’re family, which is one of the things that makes this show attractive. Even though they’re not all related by blood, the dynamics are very much like a family, and everyone wants to be heard. After Sabrina and Rebecca finally talk like grown women, Rebecca is surprised to find they’re both on the same page, just wanting their feelings to be validated – or as Sabrina puts it, treat each other “human.” While there might be contrived moments, these people impress me as very real. It’s been a delight to get a glimpse into their corner of the world, which is really not all that different.
(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)
General Hospital
Finn caters to Hayden. She’s not feeling so great, and finding out that morning sickness isn’t just for the morning. Finn insists she’ll get to the radiant glow phase in no time. She tells him she doesn’t want him going out of his way, but he says, what if he wants to?
In the hospital, Nelle wakes up. She sees Michael sleeping in a chair. He asks how she slept. When she says wonderfully, he says it must be the company.
Diane calls Alexis. She asks if Alexis has time to see her. Alexis says she’ll squeeze her in between doing nothing and doing nothing. Diane gives Jordan a cease and desist order. She suggests instead of harassing Sonny, they bring Ava to justice. Julian – who just happens to be walking by – asks, for what?
Dante visits Sonny. He says the Fire Marshal’s report came in, and it backs Sonny up.
Bobbie tells Kiki that her mother’s condition is critical. It’s a near catastrophic injury, and the next few hours will be crucial. Bobbie explains various procedures, and says once Ava is stable, they can decide on a course of action. Kiki looks through the window at Ava, all bandaged up and using a breathing tube.
Hayden is feeling better – for now. Finn suggests that she leave some clothes at his place. She says he doesn’t have enough room, and he tells her that he will soon. He’s about to close on the house, and will have enough room for the both of them, and the baby.
Bobbie tells Kiki it’s a lot to process. Dillon says she hasn’t eaten or slept. Bobbie wants to know if there’s someone she can contact to take the pressure off, but Kiki says she doesn’t want to deal with her grandmother right now.
Diane is shocked that Julian has made bail. She tells Jordan he’s still a threat, and suggests that his passport be confiscated. He asks Jordan what’s happening with his sister.
Dante tells Sonny that Ava is critical, but Sonny says he’s not interested. Dante says what about Avery? He says that he hates what Ava did, and she deserves to be punished, but no one deserves to be burned alive. Sonny doesn’t care; it could have been Carly. Cold Sonny.
Michael tells Nelle that she looks better. He thinks he should get her an actual doctor, but she says it only hurts when she laughs. She tells him that he’s already gone above and beyond, and he’s off the hook now.
Diane asks if Alexis wants the good news or bad news first. Alexis says, whatever. Diane says the good news will fortify her for the bad. Alexis is officially a lawyer again.
Jordan tells Julian that he has to stay in the county, and if there are any infractions of the law, he’ll find himself incarcerated again. He asks about Ava, and Jordan says she’s in critical condition at the hospital.
Sonny gives Dante the pill bottle, and tells him who he can call about back-up information regarding the switch. He also thinks Scotty was helping Ava cover it up, and he’ll sing like a canary with a little pressure. Dante tells him to be realistic. Ava is in critical condition. No one is in a hurry to prosecute a dead woman.
Dillon tells Bobbie that Kiki isn’t alone; she has him. Bobbie tells her about patient advocates who can help her make decisions. She says with no family available, Ava’s care will be left to Kiki. She makes Dillon promise to make Kiki eat something, and goes to get a social worker. Kiki cries on Dillon’s shoulder.
Michael tells Nelle that if it’s too much, he’ll clear out. Nelle says she isn’t saying that. He wonders what hook he got let off of, and she says he’s taking care of her like he does everyone else. He says he wants to, because he cares about her. He tells her about knowing that she wouldn’t ditch Charlotte, and how he found her on the pier and it scared him. She thanks him, saying it could have been a lot worse. Michael says he waited a long time because she didn’t want to see him. He says if caring about her and liking her is a hook, he doesn’t want to be off. I expect him to break into song any moment. Bobbie sees them through the room window.
Hayden asks Finn if he’s saying they should move in together, and he says it makes sense. She says it’s a huge question, and she has to consider the ramifications. They might be getting ahead of themselves, and haven’t even discussed their future. Finn adds, and whether she thinks they’ll have one.
Alexis tells Diane that she was about to downsize and get a job at Kelly’s. Diane wonders why she didn’t keep the letter of reinstatement to herself, since she’ll have to face Alexis in a courtroom again now. Alexis thanks her, and says she won’t mess up again. Diane says time for the bad news now. Julian made bail and is out.
Bobbie goes into Nelle’s room, saying she hopes she’s not interrupting. Right. If you believe that, I have some land in Florida for you, and a couple of bridges. Michael says he was about to find a doctor, and Bobbie says she’ll do that. She asks to talk to Michael outside.
Once again, thanks to George Stephanopoulos, our programming is interrupted. Like we’re all not surrounded by news on the internet 24/7. He also gives us a weather report that we don’t need.
They never go back to the show, and I hate all politicians everywhere. Oh well, at least it’s not Friday.
🏰 On Million Dollar Listing New York, Frederik had a showing for the most fabulous townhouse ever – there was a cut-out in the middle where you could look into other parts of it. Shades of Roman Polanski’s TheTenant. It was over 6000 square feet, and the living room was 100 feet long. There was also a less equally fabulous penthouse above, but that’s only because it was in the middle of construction. Bethenny Frankel also made a brief appearance, albeit by phone, but we’ll see her next week when Frederik shows her a place. I like new guy Steve a lot. That he owns a rescue pup endears him to my heart, but his assistant is also an old high school friend. As much as I like Ryan, I am not feeling the beard. He’s still trying to unload a property that the owner’s son wants to list too high. This show is basically: look at amazing homes you will never be able to afford, even if you win Publishers Clearing House, watch Frederik do high kicks when he closes yet another multi-million-dollar deal, rinse, and repeat.
💃 I glanced at Little Women LA, and the highlight was Terra telling Briana that she has body odor. She has no sense of smell, and has a tendency to exhibit hippie-ish behavior, like not showering. Jasmine got seriously miffed about this, but it wasn’t like Terra just mentioned it out of the blue. Briana had asked her for advice regarding her modeling “career.” Apparently, when she’d previously modeled a piece from Tonya’s athleticwear line, it came back with such a pungent aroma, Tonya said never again. But I digress. She asked. Terra answered. That should have been the end of it. Instead, the outcome was Jasmine stirring the pot about Terra’s book that’s being published, Fierce at Four Foot Two. Briana uses #LittleFierceMama on Twitter, and Jasmine decided that Terra was purposely infringing on her territory with the book title. When Jasmine confronted Terra, Terra seemed sincerely blindsided, saying she didn’t have time to know what hashtag Briana is using, and why wasn’t Briana the one asking her about it? Elena hit the nail on the head when she said they have enough problems in the group without Jasmine making it worse.
🍑 As for Little Women Atlanta, I don’t know what it is about the ATL that makes women want to have knock-down, drag out fights, but I can’t watch these people. It’s like Porsha from the Wives times however many there are. This week was their reunion, with Terra from LArefereeing hosting, and security was on stand-by. How much of this is done for the camera, I don’t know, but it’s not a good look regardless.
👴 While it doesn’t make up for no GH ending, here’s one of my favorite quotes:
When I said I wanted peace and quiet, did you hear “talk more and disappoint me?” – Flo’s grandfather (Stephanie Courtney), Progressive commercial
(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)
No General Hospital today. They reran the “Good-by to Tracy” episode. It wasn’t quite as satisfying as the first time, but still enjoyable, and you can’t beat the ending with Luke waiting for her in a Turkish coffee shop. I do wonder if he’s the person who ultimately bought the painting though. I don’t know if I’ll ever get the answer to that question either.
Southern Charm
Kathryn practices her yoga. Landon calls Thomas to go out to dinner. Craig gets an email saying he passed…something. Cameran and Chelsea are going to Home Goods. Cameran wants a woman cave; her husband suggests a nursery. She tells him about the psychic saying she’ll have three children. He thinks they best get going on that.
Craig puts a copy of the “you passed” email on the fridge. He calls his parents. I find out the cat’s name is Gizmo, and wonder if he has an Instagram account. Craig has satisfied his upper-level writing requirement, which means he has a law degree now. He gives Gizmo some treats to celebrate.
Cameran tells Chelsea that she’s totally redoing the room, and needs help. I immediately covet the grey chaise lounge Cameran parks herself on. She tells Chelsea about the topic of Kathryn coming up at Patricia’s party, but doesn’t exactly present it the way it went. She says whenever they talk about Kathryn, the mood changes. She doesn’t want to get involved and says it’s getting old. What Cameran leaves out is that she’s the one who changed the mood. Whitney merely wondered If Kathryn’s amends-making call was legit, and Cameran got all bent out of shape with Landon backing her up as the Greek-freaking-chorus. Chelsea says she actually met Kathryn at the salon, and – after her initial fear wore off because of what she’d been told – she thought Kathryn was nice. Cameran says she can be lovely, but also an absolute horror. She admits people can change though, so who knows? Maybe she’ll be calling Kathryn some day for mother advice.
Naomie meets Craig for dinner. He tells her about graduating law school, and wanted to tell her in person. She says it’s probably a bigger weight off of her chest than his. Craig asks for credit in improving. Naomie says if there hadn’t been any improvement, they wouldn’t still be together. She acts like an idiot, and then asks if he’s taking the bar. Because God forbid he should be happy for a minute with his recent victory. He says his application is in, but she doesn’t like that answer. She wants him to say the words “I’m taking the bar.”
Shep calls Cameran. He apologizes for getting heated after the party. He just wants everyone to be friends. He’s arranging a lunch, including Kathryn, and would like Cameran to come. She says she doesn’t want any drama. Shep brings up the fact that Thomas is the one who owes her an apology. He says Thomas acts out just as badly (truth!), but he always gets a pass. She says she is curious to see if a change has taken place, so she agrees to come. He tells her to bring safety gear. In his interview, Shep says he’s not on anyone’s side; he’s like Switzerland. He calls Kathryn to warn her that Cameran will be at lunch. We flash back to the reunion, where it didn’t go too well with the two of them.
Thomas tells the nanny that he has a date.
Landon’s sister Bam (wtf? is she a Flintstone?) calls, and Landon tells her about inviting Thomas to dinner. In her interview, she says she’d probably have a ring and all the horses she wanted if she gave the okay. Even though she’s most likely right, that’s incredibly narcissistic.
Thomas and Landon meet at the restaurant. Thomas thinks he’s cool because he ordered the most expensive bottle of wine. They discuss the kids. He talks about Landon’s necklace, and tells her that turquoise is from Turkey. She thinks he’s amazing, but I looked this up, and what he is, is wrong. (See link below.) Landon says that Patricia told her that she should consider Thomas as a suitor. Her turn of phrase reminds me of the first place I lived in NYC. It was a women’s residence – kind of like a dorm – and the ladies who ran it said things like “gentlemen caller” and “beau parlor.” It was like being in a Tennessee Williams play. Landon tells Thomas that it would be good if he was twenty years younger and had no baggage. I choke on my coffee. She says she wishes she wasn’t so concerned about what people think. In his interview, Thomas tells us if he thought that way, he’d never leave the house. He tells a bad joke, and Landon acts like it’s the funniest thing ever. Some drunk lady at the next table tells them that she feels that they’re soulmates. Omg, she’s sloshed, and tells Thomas that he should make out with Landon. Please, not at the table. Please.
Craig and Kathryn are the first to arrive for Shep’s lunch, and they get a table outside. Craig asks when was the last time Kathryn and Cameran talked? Kathryn doesn’t really remember, but she’s glad Cameran agreed to come, since it might be awkward if they run into each other. In her interview, Cameran says she’s anxious and nervous because Kathryn can be unpredictable. Shep says Cameran doesn’t have a leg to stand on, since she and Kathryn have never even had an altercation. Whitney is a different story – we flash back to that. Shep is of the mind that even if there are problems, you smile and say, “good to see you.” We flash back to more Whitney nonsense.
Cameran and Whitney drive to the lunch together. Cameran says it’s an opportunity for Kathryn to prove them wrong, and make the two of them look like a-holes. That shouldn’t be too hard. When they arrive, she hopes Kathryn doesn’t think it’s an ambush. Hugs and air kisses all around. Then silence. Cameran says this is the first time they’ve all been together in a while, and that they support Kathryn, and want her to feel supported, even . Where this is coming from, I have no idea. Kathryn says she appreciates it, and it’s important right now. Whitney says it’s water under the bridge. In her interview, Kathryn says Whitney knew her when, and supported Thomas in her downfall. She thinks he might be feeling guilty.
Cameran asks if she’s finished romantically with Thomas. Kathryn says they haven’t even spoken in a year, and tells them about the letter she wrote to him, saying she’d like to co-parent. She talks about how much better she feels. Cameran says Whitney is in love, and she says with what? – ha-ha! – and he tells her about the new girl in his life. Craig announces that he’s graduated law school. Everyone steers clear of the bar question, but not really, since they say they’re going to steer clear of it.
Austen and Craig go golfing. They decide to make it interesting at twenty bucks a hole. Craig asks about Chelsea. He tells Austen that Naomie says she’s a good old boy in a beautiful woman’s body. In his interview, Austen says Chelsea has been engaged twice, and is skeptical of relationships.
Shep goes to Chelsea’s salon for a haircut. They talk about the quail hunt. Chelsea says she never went quail hunting before, and loved every second. They talk about dating, and Shep says she must have guys chasing her. She says nobody is chasing her, and Shep asks if she chewed Austen up and spat him out. She says they just have fun together.
Austen tells Craig about Shep saying he broke bro code by dating Chelsea. Craig says there’s nothing there except Shep wanting to conquer. Austen says if Shep makes a move, he’ll know what the score is, and that Shep is no real friend. He doesn’t think Chelsea would go out with him though. Craig tells him about Shep hitting on Naomie. He says the easy answer is that he thinks he’s better than everyone else, but the deeper thought is that he’s insecure and afraid of actually finding his own woman.
Shep asks Chelsea to go for a glass of wine, but she says she’s on the clock. He tells her to clock out.
Nanny Deidre tells Thomas he needs to get serious bout Saint’s birthday party. They discuss the guest list. In his interview, Thomas wishes he had a partner to plan it with, and laments that Saint doesn’t have a mother involved. Well, isn’t that Thomas’s choice? He calls his father, and tells him about the party. His father tells him that he has a dental appointment the same day, and if they pull the tooth, he “ain’t comin’.” Thomas doesn’t seem real happy about that.
Whitney drops by. The nanny takes the children away. Thomas tells Whitney about the party. Whitney asks if he’s inviting Kathryn, and he says he’s giving it some thought. Whitney tells him about the lunch with her, and says she seems to be doing well. Thomas brings up the letter, and Whitney thinks it’s a step forward. He says she seems to want to move on, and perhaps deserves a second chance.
Landon meets Drew for dinner. She gripes about her website. They can’t call it Roam anymore, since it’s a conflict with other websites, and they might get sued. In her interview, Landon says it’s her fault for not doing her homework, but I knew that already. She says that she’s learning so much every day. Like how to tie her shoes and the ABCs. Drew says he was born in 1989, and Landon says she’s old and her eggs are drying up. This woman has no filter. In her interview, she says there’s a void in her life. She tells Drew she wants family life soon. She likes and respects him, and doesn’t want to mislead him. He says he’s not ready for that yet, and she asks if they can still do stuff. She gets all teary, and says that all she wants is someone to walk her dog with her. Good luck with that if you’re going to get all weepy over it. There must be a Facebook group or something for that. I have to admit getting the feels over her talking about her 12-year-old dog.
Kathryn meets Elizabeth (bleh because she’s married to JD) at a coffee/dessert place. They talk about Saint’s birthday, and Elizabeth says they should get a cake. She asks about Thomas, and Kathryn says she wrote to him, but hasn’t heard back. Elizabeth says she has a reply letter for Kathryn, which makes me wonder why she asked, and why she didn’t tell Kathryn that right away. Weird. It’s a pleasant letter, saying blah-blah-blah how he’d like to be friends and wishes her the best. He invites her to the birthday party. She thinks maybe it’s a new beginning, and she’s going in with no expectations. Elizabeth says she hasn’t seen this Kathryn in a while.
Next time, Saint’s first birthday party, Shep tells Chelsea that she’s like a unicorn, and Shep is a no-show to meet Cameran at a property.
A Coupla Things
🍹 I took a look at The Real Housewives of Potomac late last night, and once again was shocked at how unsophisticated this group is. Ashley opened (or got her husband to fund) an Australian themed restaurant – Oz. The menu includes items like kangaroo and emu. Once again, the embarrassing behavior award goes to Gizelle and Robyn. Since this was a restaurant opening event, Ashley gave a little spiel at the beginning. Not only did Robyn have to explain to Gizelle what an emu is, they both made faces about it. While these aren’t things I would normally eat, I wouldn’t act like a five-year-old about it, especially if that’s the fare of the country. Emu was also a thing not all that long ago, being a lean protein. Obviously, these two are uninformed and immature. Karen needs to give them pseudo etiquette lessons. Oh, and I finally realized that Katie is gone from the cast when they had a flashback. Sadly, I hadn’t even noticed.
🍞 Again, not much was going on Sunday night, so I checked out Return to Amish. Rebecca took the test for her GED, but we don’t know if she passed yet. Math really seems to confuse her, but I would assume that the Amish don’t focus a lot on that, especially if you’re female. It’s sad enough that they only think a girl deserves an eighth-grade education, but it’s highly doubtful they encourage any education of females at all, other than cooking and sewing. I was put into advanced math when I was in sixth grade – whether I wanted to be there or not. Although it served me well later in life when I lied finessed my way into accounting jobs after reading Accounting 101. Rebecca also has severe anxiety problems, which explains her reaction, or lack thereof, to many things. I’m sure it wasn’t easy to accomplish this on her own. Even though she had a tutor, she had to be the one to get herself through the process. Jeremiah and Carmella were on the outs at the start of the episode, but had reconciled by the end. Carmella had taken her kids and gone back to Washington, saying that the situation was toxic, and Jeremiah was controlling. This struck me as odd, since they had just started IVF treatments, and Jeremiah was doing a load of work on their new house. Then Jeremiah mentioned Carmella’s hormone treatments, and I was like, ohhh. Her growing up in a cult doesn’t help anything either. We also got Abe’s story this week. While he sometimes seems kitty whipped by Rebecca, I kind of like how he always has her back. He also seems like a great father – we saw a lot of scenes with him and the kids. Of course Mary being his mother makes him a lucky guy, although it was dicey at first when he decided to leave the tribe. Mary told him that it would break her heart, since he’d be shunned, but it looks like they’ve gotten around that. Next time, it’s the season finale (sniff), and the gang heads to Las Vegas, where Mary is going to do what she jolly well pleases. Which I’m sure involves gambling and drinking.
Every man must live with the man he makes of himself. – Amish Proverb
(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)
General Hospital
Amy 2.0 hunts down Nathan at Kelly’s. She thanks him for coming to her rescue. He says he didn’t do anything, and compliments her on her vocal talent. She says he did more than he knows.
Lulu sees Valentin and Nina together with Charlotte. She tells Laura that Valentin sings one stupid song, and they’re a happy family again. Laura tells her not to ruin the night. Thank you.
Valentin asks Charlotte which song she liked best, and she says all of them. Nina says she liked Kiki and Dillon’s song best, but Charlotte tells Valentin she’s teasing. Charlotte goes off with the other kids. Nina says it was a rocky start, but a strong finish. Anna watches them.
Andre tells Anna not to do anything rash where Valentin is concerned. She says she may not have a choice.
Jake wants to do his magic act. Elizabeth suggests they do it tomorrow, but he says it has to be now. She asks Lucy to help explain that the ball is over, but Lucy says they still have the room for a while. Jake and the other kids are like, pleeeease? and Jason walks in.
Ava says she doesn’t suppose Sonny and Carly are in the market for some art. Carly says they know what she did to their son.
Amy tells Nathan not every guy would have stepped up to escort her in. Nathan says it wasn’t anything. She thanks him again, and asks if he’s talked to Maxie. He says he tried, but she had a business thing to go to. Amy says Maxie is easily distracted. She talks about how Nathan makes it work, but Maxie doesn’t make much of an effort.
Andre tells Anna that Valentin isn’t entirely innocent, but Anna says he’s not guilty either. Andre asks why she’s always defending him, and she says what other choice did he have? Returning the Chimera to the WSB wasn’t an option; they’d probably have shot him. She says he was desperate and running for his life. Having such a distinctive look, he could have easily been picked off by the WSB. Helena was despicable, but also filthy rich. Anna doesn’t believe Valentin thought Helena would ever activate it, but just use it as leverage, and he was right; she died before using it. Anna says Robert, Frisco, and the WSB are searching and clearing the island, but there’s no guarantee that she left it there.
Valentin says Nina is pulling away again, and asks if it’s Anna. She asks when isn’t it Anna?
Jason asks if Jake changed his mind, and Jake says his mom doesn’t like it. Elizabeth tells Jason that it’s late, and Jake has this tone in his voice; he sounds intense like it’s crucial, and she has a weird feeling. Franco says the Chimera has nothing to do with the magic act, which shows how little he knows. Jason says keep it short; what harm can it do? Emma thinks it’s not looking good for an okay, but Jake says he’s going to finish this tonight.
Ava says she doesn’t know what Sonny and Carly are talking about, and she’s calling the cops. Carly says please do, but Ava doesn’t know what they must have been told. Carly wants to know why, and how could she? She says Lucy told them everything. Ava claims that she and Morgan were back together at the end, so she covered it up. Carly says Morgan died, and it’s on her. Sonny says she tampered with his medication, and Carly adds that she replaced the lithium with placebos, and sabotaged him because of Kiki.
Nathan and Amy have coffee. He says it would be one thing just living across the country, but Maxie is with her daughter and her daughter’s father. Amy says if he really wants her, fight for her
Jason says it’s Elizabeth’s call. She says fine, but if there’s a hint of a problem, they shut it down.
Andre tells Anna that he’s an armchair archaeologist, and knows what a chimera is. He thinks it’s a strange name for bio-toxin, and Anna tells him it’s a hybrid of several different strains and extremely contagious. If it’s released, it will spread like wildfire.
Nina tells Valentin that she knows they’re back on track, and she’s starting to believe him. Charlotte runs in, saying Jake is going to do his magic show, and asks to stay. Valentin says all right, and Nina agrees.
Lucy thanks Laura. They awkwardly almost hug, and end up fist bumping, and it’s one of the funniest things I’ve ever seen. Lulu tells Laura that Jake wants to do his magic act with the birthday gift that Spencer sent to him. Laura says that didn’t happen.
Ava says it was Sonny who was responsible for Morgan’s death. Sonny wants to know what she did and why. Carly says Ava pushed Morgan into a downward spiral to get him away from Kiki. Ava says she wasn’t jealous; she wanted Kiki to be happy. Morgan was sick, and it wreaked havoc with Kiki’s life. She brings up all the dangerous situations that Morgan had put Kiki in, and asks what mother wouldn’t protect her child? Carly tells her that it was Kiki’s choice, but Ava says a mother knows best, and she knew Kiki would be happier, and so would Morgan, if he could let her go. Sonny says she decided to move it along by changing his medication to fake pills, and Ava says she was just protecting her daughter. Carly tells her that she always hides behinds her kids, but it doesn’t absolve her from the choices she’s made, like killing Connie, sleeping with Morgan, and messing with the pills. She tells Ava to own it for once. Sonny tells her to admit that she’s the reason Morgan spun out of control. He screams at her to say it, and she finally says that she did it
Nathan says it’s Amy’s turn to spill her guts. She says there’s nothing to spill. She tells him that there is a guy that she’s liked since high school. She asks if it’s pathetic, and Nathan says she’s committed. I’m thinking she’s probably a size 2, even though she’s supposed to be the “fat” girl. I saw Kathy Brier (Marcie from One Life to Live) in Hairspray on Broadway, and met her afterward. She’s about half my size, and I’m not all that big. I figure I’d take up the entire screen.
Ava says what now, adding that she’s been tortured every moment since. Carly asks if she can imagine what it was like for Morgan. He finally got control, until she rigged the game. She stole his victory from him, and he blamed himself. Sonny and Carly recite things from his journal, like how he couldn’t understand what was happening, and his parents will be disappointed. Carly thought she’d never hate anyone like she did Olivia-J, but she tells Ava that she was wrong.
Laura tells Lulu that Spencer wants to give Jake his present in person, and never mentioned a magic set. Lulu says she doesn’t think she misunderstood.
Charlotte and Emma introduce the Wizard of Awesome – Jake. Charlotte sneezes, and Jake presents lots of handkerchiefs from his pocket. Franco says there’s nothing to worry about, and Elizabeth tells him to say that when it’s over. The girls bring up the box. Jake taps on the box with his magic wand. He sees Helena, who tells him to let the grand finale begin.
Nathan asks Amy about the reunion planning. Amy says she and Dillon have come up with some good ideas. He hopes Maxie can go. He realizes Amy doesn’t like her, but Amy says she knows Nathan does. He tells Amy that Maxie isn’t evil, and Amy says she’s just selfish, like Daisy from The Great Gatsby, and makes comparisons, ending with how she breaks Gatsby’s heart.
Helena makes an okay sign. Elizabeth asks if Jake is okay, since he’s staring off in the distance, and tells him that he can stop. Helena says, you know what you want, and he says he wants to finish. Andre’s phone rings, and he has to leave. Laura looks awful. She can’t stop thinking about Spencer, and has bad feeling, although she’s not sure why. She tells Jason there’s something he should know that could mean something. Spencer didn’t send the magic set, and nobody knows who did.
Ava tells Sonny and Carly that she didn’t want this to happen; she thought it was harmless. Sonny asks in what universe? She says that she thought someone would notice and send him back to the hospital. Sonny says she made it impossible for him to get help; even if he hadn’t died, he wouldn’t have known the pills weren’t real. The doctor would have upped the dosage, and he would have wandered around in a drug induced haze. Carly calls her an evil, horrible person who seduced her son, and when he was finally free of her, she did this to him, someone she supposedly loved. Ava says they can’t make her feel worse than she does already, and Sonny says he doesn’t know about that. She says she cared deeply for Morgan, and was devastated when he died; the guilt was overwhelming. Carly says she persevered – bravo. (Well, actually, that should be brava in this case.) Carly says that Morgan is dead because of what she set in motion, and it wasn’t a mistake like with her sister. Ava says that he wasn’t supposed to die, and Carly says, but he did, and she has to live with that. Both she and Carly have raccoon eyes.
Amy tells Nathan she’s sorry that she brought up Maxie; Maxie isn’t a flapper, and he’s not a bootlegger. She asks him to watch her stuff while she goes to ladies room. When she’s gone, a guy thanks Nathan for his advice. When he leaves, a woman appears, telling Nathan that he helped her face the truth – Man Landers to the rescue. Nathan is like wth? When Amy returns, he asks when he became Ask Man Landers? He shows her an advice column on his phone that has his picture at the top.
Sonny says he should have killed Ava, and his son would still be alive. Ava says she’s sorry, but Sonny says she doesn’t get to rob Morgan of his life, and rob him and Carly of Morgan, and say sorry. She says she’ll feel how she feels, and Sonny wonders how Avery is going to feel when she finds out, since she loved her big brother. Kiki knows she’s a monster, and now they have more proof. Ava says as punishment, they’re going to turn her daughters against her, but they’ll be the only ones hurt. Sonny says that the truth will set them free. He’s telling whole world, even if he has to sky write it. Carly says Ava is going to pay, and Sonny says if she’s lucky, after everyone has spit on her and turned their backs, he’ll put her out of her misery. Creepy Sonny.
Jason asks if Laura is sure. She says it’s probably nothing, but thought he should know. He starts to say maybe… but doesn’t finish. He flashes back to Helena saying as good as he is, Jake will be… Laura asks if he’s remembering something. Helena tells Jake that it’s time.
Jake says, now, the final trick that none of them could have ever imagined. Helena says it’s the greatest trick of all, and Jake repeats her words. He opens the box. Jason remembers Helena saying that as good as Jason is, Jake will be the greatest killer of them all. Jason tells Jake to stop.
Amy wonders what Nathan is talking about. Nathan tells her about the people who just approached him, and Amy slips, saying that he did some good. Nathan says he recognized the picture in the column from the card that she stole. Amy prefers the word borrowed, and he realizes that this is what she meant when she said helped more than knew. He asks why she’s pretending her advice is his?
Ava says she assumes they’re done here, but Carly says no. She wants to know if it was fun ruining her son’s life, turning him into someone they didn’t recognize, and that he didn’t either; someone he didn’t want to be. He was scared and confused, blaming himself. Carly will never forgive her. Ava says she doesn’t expect her to. Carly tells her to stop with the sorry business. She picked on a kid. Why doesn’t she mess with someone her own size? Ava throws the lantern to the ground, and it explodes in a ball of fire. Carly falls down, unconscious.
Jason tells Jake that it’s time to shut things down; it’s late and they need to go home. Jake sees Helena waiting. Anna comes up to Jason, and Jake holds up the Chimera. Valentin recognizes it, and gets up. Helena says bravo (which is correct this time), and Jake pushes the button, lighting it up. They all freeze.
On Monday, an encore of the “Good-by to Tracy” espisode. On Tuesday, Amy offers to help save Nathan’s marriage, Helena tells Jake to do what he was born to do, and Ava says they’re not going anywhere.
Quotes of the Week
Fear, to a great extent, is born of a story we tell ourselves, and so I chose to tell myself a different story.– Cheryl Strayed
I learned to always take on things I’d never done before. Growth and comfort do not coexist. – Virginia Rometty
Maybe we are another planet’s hell. – Aldous Huxley
That’s not funny.*No, it’s not, but I’m going to keep drinking until it is. – from This Christmas – I wasn’t looking at the TV, so I don’t know which characters said it, but it was too funny not to write down.
Things to Ponder…
Who just tries the door and walks right in when someone doesn’t answer? Why do Lifetime movies suck you in with a good plot, and then give you a disappointing ending? Even worse, why do I fall for it every time?
Unicorn Rainbows
Unicorn food reminds me of my first job in NYC. I came to work hungover after celebrating…something. It was donut day. They were green and orange. Enough said.
And Remember Why You Get a Day Off
Me·mo·ri·al Day
məˈmôrēəl ˌdā/
noun
a day on which those who died in active military service are remembered, traditionally observed on May 30 but now officially observed on the last Monday in May.
(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)
General Hospital
Griff tells Jason that the chimera necklace used to belong to Anna’s sister, and Anna came into possession of it. Jason doesn’t think it’s a coincidence, and that it has to mean something.
Dillon gets a text from Kiki. He wishes she was there.
Nina looks around for Valentin. He’s being harangued by Anna, who asks what he was thinking, selling the Chimera to Helena. (Just in case you’re confused, the word “chimera” isn’t normally capitalized, but I use caps when referring to the WSB project.)
Charlotte tells Emma that maybe the lights are part of the magic trick.
Lucy tells Ava that she needs to present the donation she was blackmailed out of. Ha-ha! At least Lucy is honest about it.
Sonny tells Carly that somebody tampered with Morgan’s medication.
Ned and Olivia-F arrive. She says she kept trying to put her dress on, but he kept trying to take it off, and now they’re late. She thinks they’re too late to even go in, but Ned says she just has stage fright. He calls her his star, and says she’ll be great.
Curtis and Jordan toast. He says he’s glad he planned ahead; he got a room for the night.
Ava says she’s not making the donation in Morgan’s name. Lucy says she has dead air to fill, since Jake isn’t doing his magic act, and Ava is it, but Ava doesn’t want to call attention to herself.
Sonny explains to Carly about the residue from the placebo in Morgan’s pill bottle. He tells Carly that when Morgan said he was taking the medication, he was.
Valentin tells Anna that he was running for his life; he’d stolen classified material – for her. He needed money to pay for his surgeries, and to change his identity, and it gave him perverse pleasure that Helena would be footing the bill. Now she’s dead, and the Chimera isn’t of use to anyone.
Charlotte starts to open the Chimera martini shaker, and Jake stops her, asking what she’s doing.
Ned and Olivia perform Gotta Have Faith, with a jukebox and a 50s vibe. Olivia’s voice is probably one of the best. Why hasn’t she performed before? Love her white cropped jeans with floral patterned heels too. Very nice! After the kudos for their performance, Dillon says he’s glad they came, since he was feeling like the new guy in the cafeteria.
Jordan tells Curtis that they haven’t even discussed what they are yet. He says he can cancel the room, but she says that’s not the point. Curtis says she still doesn’t think he’s good enough for her.
Anna says Valentin could have pointed the WSB in Helena’s direction through an anonymous source. He says after Helena’s death, it was irrelevant, and Anna says nothing is irrelevant. He says he owns Cassadine Island, and gives her permission to search the island, dig up the device, and destroy it. Right now, he’s finding his wife.
Jake says no one is doing his act, and grabs the Chimera back, pushing Charlotte away. Nina asks what’s going on, and Charlotte runs to her. Jake says they shouldn’t have touched it. Lulu comes in and asks what’s going on. Mom Déjà vu.
Anna asks Robert to call her back. She thinks she knows where “the product” is. She asks Andre how much he knows about the Chimera Project, and Elizabeth overhears.
Carly wonders how Morgan’s prescription bottle got to The Floating Rib. Sonny tells her that Lucy was there with Ava that night.
Curtis tells Jordan that he thought things had changed, but there’s no way to prove himself. Jordan says that she sees Thomas when she looks in his eyes. A part of her believes that if she got with Curtis, she’d be betraying Thomas all over again.
Jason asks Anna if it’s her necklace. She says yes, and he asks about the significance. She says no one has clearance to hear anything about it, except kinda, sorta Andre. Jason tells her all about the chimera images that have cropped up, and asks what’s going on. Andre encourages Anna to tell them. She says the Chimera Project is a bio-toxin developed by the WSB, that was illegally sold to Helena. She wonders if Jake saw the symbol on the island. Jason asks where it is now, and Anna says they’re trying to determine that.
Nina comforts Charlotte, telling Lulu it was just a kid spat, and Charlotte is fine. Lulu gets snarky with Nina, saying it’s not her call anymore. Valentin comes in, doing that talking to Charlotte in French thing that I love. He asks if she and Emma like cake, and suggests they go order some, and he’ll be right there. Lulu asks Jake if he’s okay, and says his mom is looking for him. Valentin asks if there’s a problem, and she says none at all. She leaves, and Valentin asks Nina if Lulu was horrible to her, but Nina says just territorial. Nina tells Valentin that his song meant the world to her. He says it was all worth it then.
Sonny hustles Lucy into the hallway. She says she has to get back to hosting the show. He asks what she was doing at The Floating Rib the night of the robbery. Carly wants to know why she was with Ava. Lucy says she was hoping they wouldn’t have to find this out, but Ava and Morgan were sleeping together again. That’s how Ava ended up with the pills. Sonny is surprised, and Lucy says she caught Ava throwing them away, and pulled them out of the trash. Carly asks when, and Lucy tells her in late October. Sonny says it was after Morgan died. Lucy says she wanted to tell them, but Ava convinced her they’d suffered enough. Sonny says none of this is her fault, and she jets. Carly says it was Ava all along.
Ava goes over her speech. Scotty runs in, and tells her that she has to get out. Sonny knows everything.
Dillon looks for his partner, Deanna, but Kiki shows up instead. She and Dillon go on stage. They perform Modern Love. With lots of back-up dancers.
Nina says she didn’t know Valentin could sing, and he says only for her. He wants to do what it takes to get her to trust him. She says they’ll see how the night goes, and take it from there. They walk off hand in hand. Yay!
Dillon asks Kiki what she’s doing there. She says Deanna covered for her at the hospital. She didn’t want to miss the – Burt’s Bees plug – gift bag. He says he’ll go back with her, and they can watch the end of the show together.
Curtis says Jordan is a good person, but if she can’t get past it, he understands. He gives her the room key and says no pressure, but if she changes her mind, he’ll be waiting. If she’s not there by ten, he’ll figure she’s not interested.
Carly tells Sonny that no way Morgan started up with Ava again. Sonny says she was only covering for having the pills. Carly sees Dillon and Kiki, and tells Sonny that Ava wanted Morgan away from Kiki. Sonny says she drove him to a breakdown.
Scotty tells Ava that she has to get out of town fast. Sonny and Carly start looking for her.
Lucy – in a black dress with faux gems at the neckline and sparkles all over – thanks everyone, and introduces Ava to present her donation, but Ava is MIA. Sonny tells Carly that she knows. Lucy says check will clear no matter what, so give her a big hand.
Sonny grabs Scotty and asks where Ava is. Kiki and Dillon see Ava leaving the building. Ava asks what Kiki doing there. Kiki is surprised that she didn’t see them perform, and asks why Ava is leaving. Ava says there’s a minor emergency at the gallery. She tells Kiki that she couldn’t be prouder of the woman Kiki is becoming, and is relieved she’s happy; it’s all she wanted for her. Kiki says sounds like she’s never going to see her again. They hug. Ava is wearing the best silver/grey glitter eye shadow, and I wish I could pull that off.
Jake puts the Chimera back in the box. Helena appears, calling him “little man,” and says she’s disappointed in him. He didn’t keep his end of the bargain. If she’s just an illusion in his head, at least he dressed her properly for the occasion – she’s wearing gold lame.
Curtis waits, watching TV. He figures Jordan isn’t coming, but when he opens the door, she’s there.
Sonny tells Scotty that Ava killed their son. Carly says she screwed with his pills, and Scotty says that’s crazy talk. He says Ava doesn’t want trouble, and she’s going to disappear for good.
Wherever she is, Ava can’t get the elevator to work. The electricity is out, and she lights a lantern that’s conveniently right there.
Elizabeth asks Jason what if Jake doesn’t get past it? Jason says they won’t let it happen. Franco says none of them will.
Helena tells Jake not to listen to his mother. If it wasn’t for her, he’d be dead. She tells him that he has to perform his magic act, and make all of Port Charles disappear.
Ava finds the bag she stashed. She checks the contents, pulling out a passport and a wad of cash.
Scotty tells Dante that Sonny attacked him, and he wants to file a complaint. Dante leaves with him. Lucy says the time has come for the finale. She thanks everyone, along with – one last plug – Burt’s Bees. She’s wearing an off-the-shoulder white brocade gown that’s just lovely. She welcomes back the nurses, along with a special guest. The stage is lit with electric candles, and Epiphany begins Leonard Cohen’s Hallelujah. I love Epiphany. She’s fabulous in general, but she’s rocking this song. Robin drops in on video, explaining why she’s not there. She’s expecting her second child, and says that’s how far we’ve come. She didn’t think she’d even be alive at this point, but thanks to research, dedication, and donations, she’s alive, and they’ll find a cure. The song resumes. Everyone has a candle, including the guests.
Kiki and Dillon watch from the hospital TV. Curtis and Jordan get busy. Ava packs a gun. Uh-oh. Sonny and Carly walk in. I’d shoot them both and run.
At the end of the song, everybody raises their candles.
Jake comes back into the ballroom. He tells Elizabeth that he’s ready to do his magic trick now. You’re a little late, kid.
On Monday, Laura tells Lulu that it didn’t happen, Carly shakes down Ava, and Elizabeth tells Jason there’s a problem.
🏙 Million Dollar Listing New York is back for another season. Ryan has a beard, and Amelia’s sister has moved in with them. Frederik says the house in Connecticut has been life-changing, and he’s started to go to church, but wants us to know that when it comes to business, he’s still fierce. Luis has moved on from real estate, and new guy, Steve, used to be a model. Frederik wants Steve to work for him, and Steve says, love you, but not that much. Steve also has a rescue pup from Georgia. The highlight for me was a property in Brooklyn that Ryan sold. It was built in 1905, and I nearly cried over it. The house had all kinds of interesting built-ins, a footbath in the bathroom, and a bathtub in a closet. And did I mention that it was 10,000 square feet? I wouldn’t want to clean it, but I wouldn’t mind owning it. If I could afford that, I could afford to have someone else clean it. I was surprised to find out that Frederik has a boss, since I’d thought he worked on his own. I like Frederik a lot, but I wish he’d stop with the juvenile noises and high kicks. We’re both getting too old for that. Glad to see the NYC realtors back. If I can’t have it, I can at least look at it.
🏯 Cyrus vs Cyrus: Design and Conquer premiered tonight. Among their many talents, Miley’s sisters are interior designers. I’m not sure if I can watch two women who are wearing Miley’s face. I don’t even want to see Miley’s face on Miley. They do some beautiful work, but apparently have never heard of Wayfair. Nobody needs to be spending $400 for a pouf. When the children of the redesigned home were asked what their favorite thing was, one little girl said, “the camera,” which says it all about the upcoming generation.
🏛 I dropped in on The Real Housewives of Potomac last night, since I’d only half-watched the episode last Sunday. I’m not really sure what to say about these women. For a bunch of people who pretend to be so sophisticated, they’re about as far from it as oil is to water. Robyn and Gizelle showed up at Ashley’s restaurant to confront her about some slight, and Robyn kept shoving her finger in Ashley’s face during her tirade. She looked like an amazon next to Ashley, and actually had to point down to get her hand to Ashley’s head. To her credit, Ashley maintained her composure, but I would have smacked Robyn’s hand so hard, she would have hit herself in the face. I’d never even heard of any of these women before the show, and I’m not sure where their sense of entitlement comes from. Especially Robyn, who can’t even figure out if she’s married or divorced. Charisse also acted like a complete ass, looking up in the air and ignoring her when Ashley tried to be polite at an event they were all attending. She’s also an indecisive one when it comes to her marriage, and I had to laugh when her husband finally filed for divorce. I’m hoping she gets less than nothing, since she was only their to suck his finances dry anyway. Gizelle might be beautiful, but she’s another embarrassment. When newcomer Monique held her phone out to get Gizelle’s phone number, Gizelle acted like this was some huge faux pas, and refused to take the phone, saying maybe some other time. How about never? Is never good for you? Oddly enough, Karen was the only one who came out looking good in this episode. Sadly, because she gave a talk about having been raped. While I might wish a lot of horrible things on this bunch, that’s something I wish on no one.
(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)
General Hospital
Mario Lopez is coming to us live from the red carpet, along with Nina.
Sam asks Jason what’s going on; he hasn’t been the same since the nightmare. He doesn’t get a chance to answer, since Jake arrives with Elizabeth and Franco. He pulls a billion silk scarves from his pocket.
Ava hauls out the giant check. Scotty says she’s just trying to assuage her guilt for what she did to Morgan.
Michael stops by Sonny’s house to drop off Morgan’s journal. He thinks it stinks that Sonny and Carly can’t even be in the same ballroom together.
Carly tells Bobbie about catching Sonny with Martina. Bobbie suggests stringing Sonny up by his cummerbund, but Carly says Sonny isn’t coming to the ball. A year ago, they had so much to look forward to, and now look.
Michael tries to talk Sonny into going to the ball, but it’s a no. He asks why Sonny wanted Morgan’s journal.
Valentin arrives with his date, Charlotte. Nina doesn’t bat an eye when Mario introduces him as her husband, and takes Charlotte to pose for the paparazzi. Valentin tells Nina she looks beautiful, and Charlotte says she misses her. Nina makes the excuse of having a lot of work. Charlotte says Lulu picked out her dress, and Nina suggests thanking her. Valentin asks what he can do to make things right, but Nina says there’s nothing. He should have put his family first. He says Anna will never come between them again, and begs Nina to come back. Anna arrives with Emma and Felicia.
Michael talks to Sonny about Morgan being fine last year. He wonders what happened, and thinks about it all the time. He asks what sent Morgan off the rails, but Sonny doesn’t know, and doesn’t know if he’ll ever find out.
Scotty tells Ava that’s a hefty amount, and Ava sys Lucy put the squeeze on her. Lucy floats by, and Scotty gives her flowers from him and Serena. Ava asks if they’re all set for tonight, and Lucy says everyone got the memo that her donation is in memory of Morgan.
Carly tells Bobbie that she feels sorry for Sonny. Bobbie does too – in this one isolated department. Carly says they’re trying to understand why, and Bobbie wishes she had the answer. She says there’s still life to be lived and people to be loved though. They hug. Josslyn walks in and joins them. Bobbie says, opening number, here she comes; and the three of them leave for the ball, arm in arm.
Nina ditches Valentin. She emphasizes that Anna is with her granddaughter. Emma gives a shout out to Robin, who’s at home with her feet up. Griff joins them. Charlotte talks to Emma, who suggests she can be a magician’s assistant too.
Jake goes in to put some finishing touches on his act. Jason seems troubled, or as Sam puts it, weird. He says it felt like more than a nightmare. Helena took everything he loved away from him, and he can’t shake the feeling that something is wrong.
Charlotte goes backstage with Emma. Griff asks Anna what’s up with her and Valentin, and why would she want anything else to do with him. She says because of this, and shows him the necklace.
Jason tells Sam there’s a lot he still doesn’t remember. He wonders why Helena would still be in his head.
Nina introduces Franco, Elizabeth and Jake. Franco says the Nurses Ball isn’t going to know what hit it. I’ll bet. Epiphany and Felix are next, followed by Amy 2.0. Nathan rescues her from answering questions. Mario asks where Maxie is, and Nathan says she’s working. The Queen of the Nurses Ball graces the red carpet – Lucy.
Scotty asks Ava if she’s flaunting her affair with Morgan. She says it’s a gesture, and he suggests it might offend Morgan’s parents with a public reminder of what happened. He tells her not to do it.
Sonny tells Michael he’s going to try and piece together what Morgan did, and why. Michael tells him good luck. Sonny sits down with the journal. After reading something, he picks up the phone and says he needs to see someone right away. It’s about Morgan.
Jason and Sam walk the carpet. They talk about Scout. Amy II thanks Nathan for saving her, and tells him sorry Maxie couldn’t make it. She talks about working a lot, and he asks if she has another job, but she gets whisked away before she can answer. Nina asks Nathan how she’s supposed to trust Valentin again.
Charlotte asks Jake if she can be in the magic show, and he says okay. Anna explains what a chimera is to Griff. She says it was also the name of a WSB project, and tells him about Alex. Griff asks why Anna is involved, and she says the Chimera is out there somewhere, waiting to be unleashed.
Michael joins Bobbie and Carly. He asks Bobbie about Nelle, and Josslyn is surprised that she’s in the hospital.
Andre arrives at Sonny’s house. Sonny points out the difference in the dosages that Morgan should have been taking and what’s on the bottle. Andre says he noticed, but wanted to be absolutely sure before opening old wounds. Sonny says he doesn’t want Carly to know anything until it’s concrete. Andre tells him that the pharmacy dispensed 600 mg to Morgan, and has no idea why the pills were 300 mg. Sonny asks if it would have made that radical of a difference, and Andre says the only way Morgan could have veered that far off course is if he wasn’t taking lithium at all.
Griff tells Anna to call Robert, but she doesn’t think he’d make any progress. He suggests she at least wait. Jason asks Elizabeth about Jake, and she says he’s back to his old self. Sam asks if Jason feels any better, but he says no.
Jake tells the girls that the magic set was a birthday gift from Spencer. Emma tells Jake that Spencer was saving the gift for when he saw him, and it’s not a magic set. Ruh-roh!
Jordan and Curtis are approached by a reporter whose name is Pinacchio, and I wonder if that’s supposed to be a joke. Curtis tells him that the ball is going to be full of surprises.
Ava tells Lucy she’s taking her advice and leaving Morgan out of the donation. Lucy says Scotty must have had something to do with it, and he says she can thank him later. Lucy says Ava is selfish, and she’s surprised he’s thrown in with her. He says she’s the one who blackmailed Ava. Lucy says that was for a good cause, and hopes Sonny skewers her, but she’s glad it’s not going to be tonight.
Bobbie tells Josslyn what happened to Nelle, and that Nelle’s kidney was bruised, but she should be fine. They go inside.
Sonny dumps the pills out of the bottle, and asks Andre if he’s sure. Andre says it’s the only explanation that makes any sense. Sonny says he trusts the journal 100% and Andre agrees. Sonny says Morgan wrote that he was taking the medication. He looks into the empty bottle and says, what’s that?
Carly and crew enter the carpet area. Nina asks about Sonny. Carly says he couldn’t make it, but wants everyone to know that the fight against HIV/AIDS is dear to his heart. Carly asks Bobbie about Nelle, but she says tonight is about fun.
Sonny says there’s powder, like a pill broke or crumbled. He tastes it, and says there’s something else in the vial. Andre takes it to have it tested.
Mario interviews total strangers. Sonny sits down to watch. Scotty and Ava are up next. Mario says that Sonny and Carly must be moved by the donation she made in memory of Morgan. Anna drops the necklace going in.
Lucy starts the show. She says it’s not about the glitz and glamour, or her ending up in her underwear, which is not going to happen this year. She gives a shout out to this year’s sponsor, Burt’s Bees, and tells us that the first Nurses Ball was 23 years ago. Lucy says that the key word is nurses, who are the heart and soul of the hospital. She suggests we see what they’re up to tonight, and the curtain opens. We see a screen with the opening number filmed in the hospital. I’m confused, especially when they end up on the stage, since the ball is supposed to be at the MetroCourt. Okay. Suspension of disbelief happening.
Jake tells the girls not to tell anyone and ruin the surprise. Sam tells Jason to stop focusing on his dream. He asks how she’s doing, and she’s good. She tells him to get himself a scotch. Lucy reminds everyone that they’re at the ball to make donations. Jake says the big finale is the most important part. He says it’s all about this, and shows them the Chimera martini shaker.
Anna wants to talk to Valentin. He tells her to talk to her sister. Anna says Alex can’t help, but he can. She asks him to put aside his justifiable anger, and do the right thing. Jason sees the necklace on the floor.
Michael tells Carly that she and Sonny aren’t as far apart as they think they are. He wants her to admit she misses him. Ava is annoyed about the reporter saying something about Morgan. She says it’s going to be all over everywhere. Scotty doesn’t think Sonny will be able to follow the breadcrumbs. Maybe. Maybe not. But he’s here.
Tomorrow, more Nurses Ball, Nelle asks for Michael, Anna wants to know where the Chimera is, Jake tells Emma not to touch it, and Andre checks on the pill bottle test.
If Loving You is Wrong
When we last left, Travis had flattened Kelly’s tire and hid in her car trunk. When she went looking for the spare, he popped out of the trunk and wrestled her to the ground.
Travis asks Kelly why she went to the cops. Like she can talk with his hand over her mouth. He says she doesn’t know him, and starts to choke her. Kelly whacks him with something and runs, but he tackles her. He tries to choke her again on someone’s front lawn. Where is everybody? She keeps trying to yell for someone to call 911. If nothing else, Travis is a bold one. Kelly tells him she’s sorry. She says she can’t breathe, and he says good, which isn’t a positive sign. She loses consciousness, and Travis asks if she’s dead. He feels for a pulse and says she is, but I have my doubts. Mostly because Travis is such an idiot, he probably doesn’t even know what a pulse is.
Travis laughs to himself. A woman with a gun appears, and says she’s calling the police. Travis claims Kelly has passed out, and tells her to call an ambulance. The woman says she saw him attacking her, but he insists he was helping. He pretends to do CPR, and Kelly comes to. He tells her, you’ve lived to see another day, bitch.
The amazing Lushion tells the kids to keep the noise down and let Natalie sleep; she’s exhausted after finding out about Joey. Pete calls to ask if there’s any word on Andrew. Lushion says if there is, he’ll let Pete know. He asks if Pete talked to the FBI. Pete says he gave a full statement, and they’re picking Eddie up after they move Pete. Lushion asks if Pete is worried. I would be. Pete says he just doesn’t know where his life is going. Lushion calls him a good kid, and says he has a great future ahead. Yeah, if Eddie doesn’t get to him first. Lushion says Pete is going to see him sooner than he thinks, and he’ll call later.
Esperanza wonders what’s taking Kelly so long. The kids go in the backyard to play on the swings. Lushion comes by. Esperanza wants to see the new house, and asks about Natalie. He says she’s asleep; it’s been a long day. Esperanza says not as long as it is for Kelly. She tells Lushion that his boy DION – finally, a name! – keeps saying it’s Kelly causing problems, when Travis is the one harassing her.
Lushion tells Esperanza that Andrew is missing, and he thinks Alex knows something about it. Esperanza asks if he thinks Alex’s parents had something to do with it, but he doesn’t know. He tells her to talk to Alex, but not let on that he’s the one who asked. He asks if Esperanza can also get the girls together to come over to cheer Natalie up. He tells her that Joey is in jail for violating probation; he’s in the prison hospital. Geez. If you think your life is bad, just watch an episode of this show.
Somehow, Kelly gets back home. Why isn’t she at the police station? What about the witness? Esperanza asks what happened to her. Kelly starts to cry, and tells her about Travis being in the trunk of her car. She asks where Justice is, and says she doesn’t want him to see her like this. Esperanza takes her inside. She takes pictures, and asks if Kelly called the police, but Kelly says they won’t believe her. Esperanza calls Lushion and asks him to come over. She gets Kelly some water, and I wonder what she charges for a full glass.
Lushion comes in, and Kelly explains what happened with Travis. He says Travis has gone way too far. Esperanza says none of the officers are doing anything. Lushion says he’s getting involved, but Kelly is afraid it will make Travis crazier. Lushion says he’s right next door, but Kelly is worried about what happens when he’s not there. Lushion says when he’s done with Travis, he won’t be bothering her again. He knows how to deal with these guys.
Lushion goes to the station. He asks Dion what he’s doing about Travis, and says he was in Kelly’s trunk. Dion shows him the texts, and Lushion says something isn’t right. Dion thinks that Kelly and Travis are both crazy and wasting his time. Lushion says that Kelly had marks from Travis choking her, and to just bring him in for questioning. Dion says that Travis is from a prominent family, and he doesn’t trust Kelly. Okay, he’s back on my jerkface list. Lushion calls for Steven, but Steven says there’s nothing he can do. Lushion is worried that Travis is going to kill Kelly, but Steven says sorry. He asks Lushion if he told Pete to talk to the FBI. Lushion says that he did, and Steven says he told him to wait. They haven’t gotten Escada yet. He says he’s getting enough heat from upstairs, and just slow down a little. Lushion says he wants Travis brought in. Steven says he can’t, and Lushion says then he will. He’ll make it federal. Steven says Eddie is already on to him, but our beloved Lushion is willing to take the chance. Steven says he’ll bring Travis in.
A-hole Eddie tells Lushion that word on the street is, he’s a baby daddy. He tells Eddie to get out of his face and get the real info. Eddie calls him a bitch, and says he can’t wait until Lushion’s world crumbles around him. Lushion says he has a bitch for Eddie all right.
Lushion goes back to Kelly’s house. He says Travis is nowhere to be found, but there’s a warrant out for his arrest. He tells her forget Dion and Rick, he went over their heads. He says if she needs anything, to call him. He reminds them about the get-together for Natalie.
Esperanza tells Kelly about cheering Natalie up, and asks if she can come. Kelly says it’s not like she has anything else going on. She says it’s hard going into that house and not thinking about Ramses, but Esperanza says maybe they’ve changed things around. Kelly says he was so sweet. She thinks Travis did something to him. He has everybody fooled, but Esperanza says not her and Lushion. She suggests Kelly spend the night at her place, but Kelly doesn’t want to be forced out of her own house. She says his ass better not come back. She says Lushion is also right next door. Esperanza doesn’t like it, but she has to go. Kelly locks the door behind her.
Alex sees a car outside. She goes out to find Brad sitting in the driveway. He says he didn’t know she was home, since there’s no car. She says she had a wreck, and asks if he wants to come in. When he doesn’t, she asks to join him, and gets in the passenger seat. He asks about the baby, and she says that he’s been put into foster care because of her parents. Brad says, sorry to hear that, and she tells him that Randal had a court hearing for custody. The judge almost granted it to him, so she threw a Hail Mary and said he wasn’t the father, but he is. She says all she did was postpone the inevitable. Alex asks why Brad is there, but he doesn’t know. He asks if that’s why Randal thinks the baby is Lushion’s, and tells her about Randal’s visit to his office. She calls Randal a bastard. She tells him that Lushion came over to borrow a candle, and Randal saw him. She talks about how nice it is to have them in the neighborhood, but that she has to straighten things out, and already spoke with Natalie. Brad says Eddie knows, and Alex says great, another excuse for him to hate her. Brad says he still loves her (Brad does, not Eddie), but he’s scared. He doesn’t think he could go through that again, and Alex says it will never happen again. Brad doesn’t think he could live with the baby, and Alex says she thought about that too. She says what if the roles were reversed, and wonders how she would feel.
Alex says that she wants to tell Brad congratulations, and he says for what. She says it’s okay; she knows, but he doesn’t understand what she’s talking about. She says she knows Marcie is pregnant. Brad says she’s not, but Alex says she is; they have the same doctor. She’s surprised that Marcie hasn’t told him. Brad says he has to go – not because of that, because of him. Creepy Randal’s face is at the car window. He says that they have a hearing tomorrow, and Alex should get her beauty rest. He asks if she still wants to meet in the shed, but maybe this isn’t a good time to ask. He says he’ll be in there warming it up, like the d-bag he is.
Brad says he takes it back. Alex tries to explain, but he doesn’t want to hear it. He says he thought he couldn’t do it because of the baby, but it’s really because of Randal. She suggests they move, but Brad says they can’t afford it. He wants to do some bad things to Randal. Join the club. Alex says something bad almost happened to him, but Brad says almost doesn’t count. Alex gets out of the car, and Brad drives off. Randal watches from the porch. Eddie and Randal are the worst.
Randal asks if they’re getting back together, but Alex says nothing. He tells her that he’ll be in the shed. She goes in, and he says maybe not.
Kelly wakes up to a dog barking. She checks on Justice, seeing the top of his head. She pulls down the covers, and he’s fine. She makes sure the windows are locked. I’m as anxious as she is, wondering when and where Travis will pop out. She checks the rest of the house, and I wonder why she’s not carrying a weapon. She makes sure the front windows are locked. I can’t take this stress. She makes sure the doors are locked, and puts the chain on. I can’t stand it. She goes back to bed, but I’m not comfortable.
She turns out the light. Travis’s hand comes over her mouth and I almost scream.
Next time, the 90-minute mid-season finale, Lushion tells Natalie to lock the door, the custody hearing happens, Julius tells Ben that he’s looking for a new crew, Steven says it’s going down, and Lushion says, “Bye, Eddie.”
Below Deck Mediterranean
The wind has picked up, the yacht is about to hit the rocks, and Max is trying to push the boat with the tender. That isn’t a euphemism for anything. He’s supposed to push the yacht with a smaller boat. Captain Sandy asks what he’s waiting for, and she has to explain how it works. Hannah brings chips and dips for the guests, even though she’s concerned. The captain wants to reset the anchors, and Wes explains to the guests that it’s nothing, even though it’s something.
Lauren is annoyed that Bobby is going around talking smack about her. She’d thought they were friends. Bobby whines about being alone and losing his only friend, Hannah. Well, he should have thought about that before. Bugs is feeling down about her grandmother’s passing, and feels like she should be with her family, but tries to keep her chin up. The guests go naked paddle-boarding. Hannah tries to get Chef Adam to put on an apron with a muscle-guy’s body on it, but that’s a no. Captain Sandy is invited to dine with the guests.
More naked news is filmed. A request has been made for a cake shaped like a nude woman for dessert after dinner. Adam finds that baking it is more fun than he thought it would be. The captain is concerned about everyone being nakey at the table.
Bobby whines some more about his life sucking. He wants to be friends with Hannah again. He pulls her aside, and says he jumped to conclusions. Hannah says that she never said anything bad about him, and he says that’s not what Lauren told him. They hug it out, and Hannah says her feelings were hurt. In her interview, Hannah says that Bobby has burned her one too many times, so she’s proceeding with caution.
Four fabulous courses are in the making, and with the captain at the table, the pressure is on. Hannah says it’s important to her, because even though they got off to a rocky start, she and the captain are in a good place now. Anchor watch is set up. Bobby shows Wes a stupid video on his phone, while Lauren slaves over the laundry. In her interview, Hannah says you have to be thick-skinned in the yachting biz.
Lauren isn’t talking to anyone, so Bugs tries to engage her. Lauren says she just wants to do her job, and not be trashed by anyone. She starts getting all weepy, and Bugs can’t believe it, since she just lost her grandma.
The table is gorgeous, with lots of crystal and gold and sparkles. Mr. Skin talks about how he got into the business by watching lots of movies. Adam (who I keep wanting to call “Ben”) flirts with Malia. In his interview, he talks about a long-term relationship he had. His girlfriend never told her parents about him because of cultural differences, and she broke his heart. Lauren overhears Bobby talking about her. Malia is helping at the same time she’s on anchor watch. That sounds like an accident waiting to happen.
Adam tells Hannah that she should slow down and give the guests time to enjoy the meal. Captain Sandy tells a tale of the sea at the table, while the entrees are put together. Bugs says it’s all about communication, and Adam says it’s the first time he’s sweating in the galley. He and Bugs put cake nipples together. The crew don shirts with bikini bodies on them. The captain excuses herself, and claims she’s going to look them up online.
The cake is served. The crew gets a standing ovation, and Bobby sees dollar signs. Mr. Skin says he can’t wait for the pie section, and even I have to laugh. Adam thanks everyone for their help. Apparently, naked cakes are difficult business, and take a village. He watches on closed circuit as one of the guests spins around on the lazy Susan without underwear. Is this one of those bleachable moments?
Lauren calls her father. She tells him she’s feeling alone. In her interview, she says that her parents are going through a messy divorce, and one of the reasons she took the job was to get away from it. She realizes she has to just focus on her work. Hannah and Bugs have coffee on deck, and Hannah gives Bugs kudos for a job well done. Bugs says it’s hard to believe she won’t be doing things anymore with her grandmother. Hannah talks about losing her brother at a young age, when he was just ten. She says Bugs’s family would be proud of her.
Malia is glad for an easy day, since she had to work until 3 am. The deckhands pull up the anchor, but something is wrong. There’s a huge, messy ball of chains that keeps the anchor from going up totally. Malia is like, of course, since it’s her first time pulling up anchor. Max says he’s never seen it this bad, and doesn’t have an actual solution. He explains this is what happens when you have two anchors and the boat starts moving around. Captain Sandy says they’re in trouble, since they have to get the guests to port in time. She says it’s the same as a necklace being tangled; you work the chain until it loosens. Ugh. Good luck.
The guests are starting to look, which puts more pressure on the deckhands. Bobby tries to tell the captain what to do, and she says she needs assistance, not resistance. Bugs says the crew has to keep the drama to themselves, and keep the guests distracted. Bobby continues to tell Captain Sandy how to do her job. She reminds him that she’s been doing this for nearly thirty years. In his interview, Max says when it comes to emergency situations, you just follow orders.
Captain Sandy leans almost entirely over the side of the boat. Max explains that the last thing you want to do is cut the anchor, since those are your brakes. The guests do some more naked news, and the captain calls for a water taxi. Wes gets into the water. He wants to see what he can from a safe distance.
Somehow, they make things worse, and the wind is picking up. Hannah explains to the guests that they’re having a problem with the anchor, but they’re getting a tender to bring them back so they can enjoy the afternoon. Captain Sandy gives the deckhands instructions over the walkie-talkie. Ooh, Adam is in full distraction mode and just made the most amazing appetizers. One of the guests says it’s plant-based paradise. Hannah calls for help putting the luggage on the taxi, and the captain tells the crew to get in their dress uniforms. Bobby is concerned the delay will affect their tip.
The guests had a fabulous – or “skintastic” – time. Mr. Skin tells the crew how much they enjoyed themselves. He has some individual compliments, and calls the captain “badass,” giving her the tip. He adds that getting stuck didn’t affect anything; they’re all happy. The guests board the tender. The captain tells the crew to grab something to eat and get back to it; they’ll deal with the tip later. Bobby says it’s like being on Gilligan’s Island, except they’re the island. He explains to Bugs how the anchor got tangled.
Bugs calls home, and says she wants to be there. If they want her to come, she will. Sounds like she’s staying. Lauren apologizes to Bugs, and says she was being selfish. They hug it out, but Bugs isn’t sure what she’s apologizing for. I guess her mind is (understandably) somewhere else, since she was previously annoyed with Lauren being self-centered.
A rope gets tangled in the anchor lines, and one of the deckhands tries to cut it. In the meantime, the girls decide to go for a swim. Adam is content to watch. It’s illegal to pull into port without an anchor, and no way is the captain losing them. We hear a big noise. To be continued…
Next time, who knows? They didn’t say. We never got to my favorite part either – tip time.
🍸 Tomorrow, Bethenny is a guest on Watch What Happens Live. I always look forward to her spilling the tea. The LA week has been fun so far, but I’m really not feeling the large, vocal audience.
(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)
General Hospital
Lucy tells Kiki and Dillon that maybe they shouldn’t take so many breaks. It’s not like they can stop in the middle of a number for a nap.
Jason arrives home. He’s come bearing wine and beer, but Sam says she can’t drink while nursing. He says he won’t drink with her, and that tonight is all about her. She says that Scout could cry at any second, and he says they’d better get to it then.
Alex tells Anna to take the chimera necklace to Valentin, and tell him what happened. Anna says he’s never going to trust her, but Alex says she’s a spy; just figure it out. Anna says Alex isn’t trying to save the world, just her own skin.
Valentin leaves a message for Nina, who is standing behind him. He says he has a lot to say, but she doesn’t want to hear it. She just came to pick up paperwork. He wants to talk, but she doesn’t. She tries to give him back his keys, saying she’s saving him the trouble of making new one for Anna.
Sonny tells Carly that she can’t be upset because he moved on. Carly says that he did this just to piss her off, smashes the nearest object, and adds that it worked.
Alex regrets what she did. She tells Anna that she was young enough to be bought, and arrogant enough to think she could get away with it. Now the Chimera is out there, and she can’t stop it, so Anna has to. She says her old DVX associates want it for their employer. Anna asks if she would have given it to them, and Alex says the world is better off with Anna taking over. She has to get rid of it.
Nathan comes in with some WSB agents who have come to take Alex away. Alex tells Anna that whether she likes it or not, she has to stop what’s been put in motion. Nathan says he’s sure Anna has a lot of questions for Alex too, but Anna says she has a job to finish.
Valentin says the keys are Nina’s; he won’t give them to Anna. He says they belong to her, like the house and his heart and Charlotte, who would like to see her. Nina tells him not to play her feelings for Charlotte, and asks if he was the thinking about that when Anna played him. She says it doesn’t matter anymore; if Anna texted, he’d go running to her. Nina asks if he loves her enough to choose her and Charlotte, but answers her own question, saying he doesn’t love her enough to leave Anna behind. Valentin says that he was wrong, and he’ll spend rest of life making it up. Nina says it’s too late. As much as she loves their life, they’re no longer a family; he destroyed that.
Kiki tells Ava thatshe earned her certification. Ava is proud of her, and says she has wonderful news of her own. Avery is at her house spending the night. Hopefully, the first of many. Kiki is thrilled, but wonders why Sonny would change his mind. Ava says maybe he realized that Avery needed more time with her mother instead of Carly.
Carly tells Sonny about seeing Ava in the park, and how she was working overtime to distract Carly from the real question – what leverage does she have? She thought about Ava’s ridiculous excuse, and it wasn’t rocket science. She tells Sonny that Max was sweating bullets when he let her in. She points out that Sonny cooked for Martina, and says that he didn’t miss a trick. Sonny wonders why she went upstairs if she knew already. She says she wanted to see for herself that he was sleeping with her lawyer. Martina is suddenly there, and says she’s no longer Carly’s lawyer, which makes this none of her business. Carly says it is her business if it affects her legal situation. Sonny explains that they met not knowing that they were involved legally, and Carly asks why they didn’t say anything once they realized, and instead used it to his advantage. She thought it was strange, being advised to give his assets back. She says Sonny used their tryst as leverage, and Martina wanted to salvage her reputation and fee. Martina says what’s really making Carly angry is that she’s the woman in what used to be Carly’s bed. Wow. No smack in the face from Carly?
Ava is happy to see Kiki with someone who appreciates her. Kiki talks about how she and Dillon were both ready to leave Port Charles when they ended up on the same bus. Ava says don’t think of “what if?” Sometimes things work out the way they’re supposed to.
Dillon asks Lucy to borrow Felix for a minute. He tells Felix about Kiki’s certification, and wants a gift idea. Felix says he’s got what Dillon is looking for.
Ava reminds Kiki of her first kiss with Dillon at the last Nurses Ball, and says now they’re an official couple. She tells Kiki to focus on the good, and that her future couldn’t be brighter. Kiki says that Morgan is dead, and wants to know why Ava is pretending that he didn’t exist.
Jason tells Sam that it seems like Jake is doing well, and he’s actually looking forward to the Nurses Ball, adding that Jake will be performing his magic act. They joke around, and Jason gives Sam a vintage leather jacket. She says it’s rare. Apparently, she never goes on eBay. Nothing is rare. I have a store there, and I guarantee everything you own that you think is worth money, there’s a million of them out there. Peanut the Beanie elephant is not worth $2000, even in its original packaging. And every time an online article says it is, another ton of them end up for sale, devaluing them even further. Sorry. Rant over.
Valentin tells Nina he doesn’t blame her for doubting him; he risked everything he loved. He doesn’t believe it’s too late to get it back. He just needs her to trust him again. He suggests she spend the night. Nina tells him to stop promising what he can’t deliver. He says he can and he will. He’s going to check on Charlotte, and asks her to be there when he gets back.
Nina looks at a family photo. Suddenly Anna is there. She says she picked the lock. I guess she’s learned nothing from the last time she did that. Valentin isn’t answering her calls, and she says it’s urgent that she speak with him.
Carly says the bar association should be interested in Martina’s breach of ethics, and hopes Sonny was worth it. Martina was still her lawyer when she slept with Sonny, and didn’t resign as her attorney because of a conflict of interest. Martina says if she’s so unethical, why wouldn’t she have kept quiet and stayed on? Carly calls Martina a back-stabbing opportunist. Sonny says that’s what he thought when he found out Carly had been sleeping with Jax. He doesn’t say which one he’s referring to though.
Ava says Morgan’s death haunts her more than Kiki knows. Kiki asks why Ava can’t face her memories then. Ava tells Kiki that she doesn’t want the past to prevent Kiki from having a future. Whatever she did, she did for Kiki’s well-being. Kiki asks what she did.
Jason and Sam start to get busy, and Scout cries. Jason tells Sam not to take off the jacket, and goes to tend to Scout.
Nina tells Anna to go ahead and roam the halls to look for Valentin. Anna says that Nina doesn’t know what happened, and Nina says, screw you, you lying bitch, and accuses her of preying on people’s weaknesses. Anna says doesn’t know what she did, and Nina says Anna is the one who lured him away. She brings up the watch, saying it wasn’t a gift, but a way to spy on him. Anna is confused, and Nina says she’s good. Valentin walks in, and gets loud, asking Anna what she’s doing in his house.
Anna has something urgent to tell Valentin. Nina says she’s leaving, but Valentin says he doesn’t want Anna there. Nina leaves anyway, and Valentin asks Anna if he really has to kill her. She’s come around, thinking that she can tell more pathetic lies and he’ll believe her. He tells her that she won’t take anything more from him. Anna says she didn’t betray him; not now, and not back in the day. She has a twin – Alex Merrick.
Jason follows a trail of clothing, and likes where this is going. He sees Sam wearing nothing but the jacket, and she says he told her not to take it off. They get freaky busy.
Ava tells Kiki that Morgan is a loaded subject with them for obvious reasons. She thinks that Kiki should move on for her own best interest. She’s Kiki’s mother, and will not apologize for it. Dillon shows up, and Ava tells him that she’s happy to see Kiki being treated the way she should be. Dillon says it’s an honor and privilege. Ava has to get back to Avery. Dillon wonders what she wanted, but Kiki doesn’t know. He says the approval is nice, but he only cares about her.
Lucy tells Ava it all seems to be working out for her. She asks if Ava has time for an old friend who saved her from Sonny’s wrath.
Carly tells Sonny that she slept with Jax after Sonny said it was over, then he had Jax deported. Sonny says it’s not his fault if Jax bought a kidney on the black market, and he had nothing to do with it. Carly says it saved Josslyn’s life, and Sonny hurt her as well. She says she thought they were in agreement about not involving the kids. Martina says that Carly even told her what a great father Sonny is, and asks if she’s forgotten. Carly says she hasn’t forgotten that Martina slept with her husband, and thinks that the Bar Association will find it interesting. She tells them that she’s not compromising; she’s keeping everything. When she’s gone, Martina tells Sonny that Carly has a right to be upset.
Dillon gives Kiki a gift card for a spa day. She loves it, but says she’s partial to his hands for massages though. He says it’s a tough job, but somebody has to do it.
Lucy tells Ava that she feels troubled. Ava says she paid Lucy’s price. Lucy says that Ava paid for the pills, but she didn’t say she’d keep quiet. Ava tells her that the sculpture is worth a small fortune, and Lucy says a quarter million. Ava says it’s her donation, and Lucy says it’s always about her. Ava says she intends to present Lucy with one of those huge-sized checks in memory of Morgan.
Martina doesn’t want to wear out her welcome. She’s concerned about the bar, but Sonny thinks Carly will realize it won’t do any good to throw Martina under the bus. Martina says she can read people – all the anger and accusations mean Carly is still in love with him, and she thinks he’s still in love with her. She leaves and Sonny ponders.
Carly calls Diane, who already heard everything from Max. Carly says that her attorney will be in touch – as soon as she gets one.
Nina sees Nathan. She asks if she should pull out of doing the Nurses Ball red carpet. He says she was great last year. She says she doesn’t want to look stupid when Valentin comes in with Anna. Nathan says he doesn’t think that’s going to happen. She says Anna showed up at the house, and he says there’s something she needs to know about Anna.
Anna explains to Valentin about Alex being recruited to do the things she wouldn’t. He suggests like sleeping with a hunchback, but she says like seducing an innocent man and making him a traitor. She says Alex took the job to steal the Chimera, and ultimately she put out the kill order.
Nathan explains that Anna has a twin, and Nina is like, whaaaat?
Anna tells Valentin that while she was in a drug induced coma, Alex took her place.
Nathan tells Nina about walking into the airport and seeing two Annas fighting.
What Anna hates is how Alex traded on what Valentin once felt. She can’t change it, but says she can tell him the truth. He says he doesn’t believe her. What difference does it make anyway? She says it makes a difference to this, and holds up necklace. He says she wants the Chimera.
Jason comes downstairs. He sees Helena reading Jake’s book. She tells him that Sam is gone and so are his children. She warned him. He asks where the kids are, and she repeats that she warned him. He wakes up on the couch with Sam.
Felix tells Kiki she has to be on skeleton crew, and can’t go to the ball. Cinderkiki.
Lucy asks if Ava is sure she wants to tempt fate. Ava says that someone accused her of forgetting Morgan. She wants to honor his memory, and believes fate is on her side.
Sonny wanders around, thinking about the old days with Carly. Carly thinks about Sonny.
Nathan tells Nina about Alex impersonating Anna. Nina says when she left Valentin over Anna, she really left over Anna’s sister. Nathan says he’s not lobbying for Valentin, but wonders if it changes anything.
Sam tells Jason that they and the kids are safe. He says it felt so real. She says Helena can’t hurt them anymore.
Valentin says that Anna didn’t come to explain; she came for information. Anna tells him that the Chimera holds some kind of toxin, but she didn’t have clearance to find out any more than that. Valentin says, sorry; he sold it, and the buyer is dead. Anna says it could be out there, and he tells her that’s not his problem. Anna doesn’t believe that the Valentin she knew, the one who was her friend, would take responsibility for releasing something so deadly into world, but instead would do what he could to stop it. That’s him.
Tomorrow, ♫ Welcome to the Nurses Ball ♫! Mario Lopez works the red carpet, Griff asks what’s up with Anna breaking into Valentin’s house, and Michael wonders why Sonny wants Morgan’s journal.
Southern Charm
We start off with Cameran telling us that she thinks Landon would flirt with a corpse. Maybe. How much money does he have?
Kathryn leaves a message for Whitney, saying she’d like to get together and catch up. Huh?
Thomas talks to Kelsie about architecture, but she can’t even say “Charleston” yet. He drives through town giving her a history lesson that she won’t remember two minutes from now.
Craig and Naomie go to couples counseling. I dunno. If you need counseling at this early stage, maybe you should just move on. The counselor asks what they want out of the sessions. Naomie wants them to be respectful and nice; Craig wants her to have his back. He’s tired of her second guessing him, and wonders why she’s even with him if she’s not locked solid. Naomie says he undercuts her, but it’s easier to just stop talking. The counselor explains fair fighting, and gives them a list of rules. He gives them flash cards to agree or disagree. This is stupid. Craig says their definitions of yelling are different, and I totally get this. When my husband tells me that I’m “yelling,” when what I’m really doing is talking in a firm tone, I tell him, how about if I really yell, and then he can compare the two? He’s never taken me up on that once. Naomie calls Craig a “sensitive little guy,” and I wonder why he’s not sensitive about that remark. Moving on to name calling. Their definitions of that are different too. Naomie strikes me as the kind of person who stirs the pot, and then pretends that she didn’t do anything. I’ve seen her type before. Craig looks at it like it’s them against the world, but isn’t so sure she looks at it the same way.
Cameran meets Austen for a drink. The go over the hunting trip. Austen asks about Drew, and then Thomas. Landon says she’s ready to settle down again. He says she wants Shep’s age, but Thomas’s money. She insists it’s not about the money. Shep joins them. Landon tells him that Austen is the new Shep, but he already has a girlfriend. Shep says once he took the camo off, and Chelsea saw him in the daylight, it was over. Austen says they had a conversation about just taking things as they come. Shep thinks he’s more her type. In his interview, Austen tells us that he’s not susceptible to Shep’s mind games, and Shep needs to get over it.
Thomas visits his ancient father, Arthur. They discuss a family-owned house that Thomas is fixing up. Thomas shows him enlarged photos on an easel. He tells Arthur about Kensie starting school. In his interview, Thomas says his relationship with his father is complicated, and his parents’ divorce greatly affected him. He says all of his siblings are happily married with children, and all he’s gotten are relationship problems. Arthur says smile, laugh, and don’t get too bent out of shape. Wise words.
Chelsea and Austen go to some kind of adult indoor obstacle course. In his interview, he says they seem comfortable with each other, and coupled with their attraction, all systems are go. They shoot some hoops. Austen gives Chelsea a sweaty kiss. They take a break, and discuss their families. He talks about an older sister who passed away, falling off of a cliff at a state park. His parents lied, saying she was in the hospital and coming back, which messed with his head. No kidding. My paternal grandmother died when I was three and it was explained to me. Not wanting him to be an only child, Austen’s parents had another baby, and he has a sister nine years his junior.
Georgette Mosbacher visits Patricia; they’ve been friends for years. Michael brings them some libations. Patricia is having an Indian themed dinner to celebrate their trip to India and their doggy caftan line. We see a clip from when they came up with the idea. Patricia says they’re introducing the kids to the line at the dinner. Georgette asks if the kids will behave, and tells Patricia that she doesn’t tolerate bad manners. Patricia insists there is no such thing in the South.
Kathryn visits Chelsea’s shop for a new hairstyle. She wants to get back into modeling, and needs some new headshots done. She says she’s thinking of getting Kensie into modeling too, since she’s such a ham. She explains that she and Thomas aren’t really communicating, and haven’t spoken in about a year. She tells Chelsea that Thomas sent her a text recently, so she sent him a letter. In her interview, she says she hesitated to reply, as he always has an ulterior motive.
JD (bleh) goes to Thomas’s office. He talks about Kathryn visiting, and how she seems put together and sincere. Thomas tells him about her contrite, heartfelt letter. JD (bleh) can’t believe that Kathryn took his advice. Thomas reads some of the letter, where Kathryn talks about being apologetic, and that it’s a shame their children have to miss either their mother or their father, since they don’t do things together anymore.
In her interview, Kathryn talks about how Thomas needs his father’s approval. She says regardless of what’s happened, she’s glad to have given him children he can be proud to show his father. I guess so, since the old man will be long gone by the time Thomas ever gets married. If he does at all. We flash back to some kid/family moments. Kathryn says she wanted to show him that there are good people who won’t leave you. She tells us that he’s an a-hole, but he’s a good person, and although she’s not in love with him, she loves him.
Thomas continues to read. Kathryn tells him that when he’s ready, she’ll be there, and she’s hoping they can co-parent peacefully. He says he doesn’t know how to take it. JD (bleh) says it’s an olive branch, but Thomas is concerned that it’s a trap.
Patricia and Georgette don their caftans. Landon tries to figure out how to wear a sari. Both Naomie and Cameran are wearing them too, but manage to dress themselves without incident. Naomie is glad that she and Craig can move forward now, and he asks her not to treat him like a piece of sh*t tonight. Whitey shows up in a silk suit with a camo lining. No. Just no. Cameran says she wants a caftan with Whitney’s face on it. Ha-ha! Everyone dribbles in. Michael is wearing a turban, and tells them dinner is served. Michael is the coolest guy on this show. And he can make a mean martini.
There are a lot of elephant themed accessories at the dinner table. I like it! Georgette says no talking religion, politics, or sex. Cameran wonders what they’ll talk about, and Georgette says let’s forget the rules. Patricia explains how to assemble a curry dish. I love curry, and the food looks fabulous. They discuss the quail hunt. Patricia points out the Something-Or-Other diamond that Georgette is wearing. They discuss good manners. Georgette says the number one thing is forgiveness, and forgetting petty slights. Hear, hear! Michael announces a special guest – an Indian psychic healer.
The healer is going to give everyone readings, with the rest of the group asking questions about whoever is in the hot seat. What kind of Indian name is Angie? She wants questions based upon their energies, whatever that means. She says Cameran will be pregnant by the end of 2017, and she’s having three children. In her interview, Cameran says she’d need to have a huge change of heart to pop out three kids from her who-ha. Craig is next, and Angie says he’ll be a lawyer, and own his own firm. Naomie has no questions. In her interview, she says she does, she just doesn’t want to ask them there. Angie says their connection is strong, and they’re soulmates. Ugh! That word. In his interview, Shep says the only thing he believes in is Bigfoot. Angie says Shep doesn’t want marriage, but fears being alone for the rest of his life. Geez, I could have told you that. Shep says his fear is monotony, and being with the same person for the rest of his life. Craig asks if Landon has a soulmate (stop it!) connection in this room. Angie says she’ll know it when it clicks, and despite what anyone says, she’ll be with that person. Cameran asks if Whitney will be giving Patricia a grandchild, and Angie says yes. Patricia asks if she’ll still be alive when it happens, and the answer is also yes. Thomas goes up. Whitney talks about Kathryn wanting to make amends. In her interview, Landon thinks Kathryn is trying to social climb through Whitney, because she’s an ignoramus who wouldn’t understand the 12-steps if she studied them for the rest of her life.
Whitney asks how Angie foresees this ending up. She finds the question confusing, and Cameran suggests they stay out of it. Craig says all Kathryn wants, is to say she’s sorry, and it’s one of the steps. Shep brings up the forgive and forget business that Georgette just told them, and wonders how f-ing stupid everyone is. Whitney apologizes to Georgette for Shep saying a bad word. Craig says it’s called being the bigger person and taking the high road. Landon says she’s always taken the high road, and Craig begs to differ, saying that’s never happened. Landon wants him to apologize. Georgette thanks everyone, and the guests are hustled out before they can do any more damage to her virgin ears. In his interview, Shep thinks everybody is being ridiculous. Cameran questions Kathryn’s motives. Naomie tells Craig that he’s making her anxious. Soulmates? Hardly.
Shep tells Cameran that people should be given a chance. She says she wishes Kathryn the best, but they’re not friends. She says that she doesn’t like turmoil, and Kathryn should be reaching out to Thomas. Um… Isn’t that what she just did? Cameran tells Shep that this is so over, and they need to stay out of Kathryn and Thomas’s business.
Next time, Landon tells her date that she’s old and her eggs are drying up, Whitney meets with Kathryn and brings Cameran along, Shep tries to get Chelsea to go out with him, and Kathryn gets a letter back from Thomas.
🍹 I’m not sure what to say about Southern Charm Savannah. There is more emphasis on old money and family name, while on Southern Charm (The Original), Thomas is really the only one with a big claim to that fame. Kathryn is too, which is one of the reasons they first interacted, but they don’t talk about that at all. I can already tell that Ashley is another pot stirrer. Last week, she played strip golf with the guys at her own suggestion, stripping down to a barely there teddy, and making everyone uncomfortable except herself. Hannah, who’s married to one of Ashley’s golfing buddies, dared to approach her about it, and got less than nothing for her trouble. While Hannah was very diplomatic, somehow Ashley turned things around, getting offended, and acting like Hannah should apologize for even broaching the subject. Yep, I’ve seen her type before too. They create drama or bad situations, and then either can’t believe you’re mad at them or beg you not to be. I’m not sure if I should watch this show because of her, or avoid it for the same reason. It’s already obvious that it’s going to revolve around her.
