What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

 

 

General Hospital

Alexis sees Julian at the MetroCourt. She says she was looking for him. She tells him that Olivia-F has agreed to maintain the status quo. He says that’s good, but Alexis is surprised at his lack of reaction, and asks what’s on his mind.

Amy is a wreck. Nathan says he can tell, and not to make a big deal about it in her head. She says the publishing of the book is contingent on meeting Man Landers. He says he’s there, and she can do all the talking. She thanks him for stepping up when he didn’t have to. She doesn’t know how she’ll repay him. She throws her arms around him and they hug. Nina sees them.

Nelle asks a waitress if Kelly’s is hiring. She needs some steady income, and asks how long she’ll have to wait to find out if she’s hired. Bobbie pops out of nowhere, and says when hell freezes over.

Josslyn tells Michael that he’s the sanest person in the family next to her father, and asks if Carly is getting back together with Sonny.

In Puerto Rico, Sonny and Carly wait for the distributor. Sonny says he must be running on island time, and asks if she’d like to join him for breakfast.

Jason comes home and sees that Sam is awake. She asks how long she was out, and he says probably about ten hours. He tells her that she’s been operating on no sleep whatsoever, and she says she’s feeling better. She takes the knife out of her boot when he goes to the kitchen.

Amy says if they want Nathan’s real name, chalk it up to mystique. She says his suit is missing something, and takes a pocket square out of her purse, telling him it brings out the color of his eyes. Nina joins them, saying he’s looking sharp. She wants to know if Nathan wants to catch up, and he tells Amy he’ll meet her. Nina wonders what he’s been up to. It’s been difficult for her at work, finding a replacement for Maxie, and must be really difficult for him. He asks what’s with the hint dropping, and she asks what’s up with him and Amy.

Bobbie says Nelle will get a job there over her dead body; she’s co-owner. Nelle thought she was a nurse, and Bobbie says she has a lot of irons in the fire, so Nelle won’t be getting a job there. Nelle says she’ll look elsewhere. She knows Bobbie hates her and why, and asks if it’s now Bobbie’s life mission to destroy hers. Bobbie says go back to Atlanta, and she’ll wish her well. Nobody wants her in Port Charles.

Michael tells Josslyn that Sonny and Carly are on the island, since there was a problem with liquor distributor. Josslyn is like, please. She told Carly it was just a story, and got her phone confiscated and sent to her room for her trouble. Michael says that Carly is the mom, Josslyn is the kid, and she can’t police her mother. Josslyn says so she’s off to Puerto Rico with the man she’s supposed to be divorcing. She says that Michael is too smart to believe it. Sonny is going to try and get her back. Michael asks if that would be so bad. Josslyn says after what he did to her dad, she never wants to live under the same roof as him again.

Sonny tells Carly that no matter how it shakes out, she’s always welcome there; it’s her place too. She says the memories are enough. They toast with their coffee to good memories.

Alexis says maybe Julian’s visitation can be increased. He tells her that he needs to get back to the office, and promises they’ll talk soon. When she leaves, he approaches a guy at the bar. The guy, Kirby, says that Julian isn’t returning his phone calls. Julian says he’s out on bail, and things are hectic. Kirby says, not so fast, old friend.

Sam recalls getting into bed with the knife. Jason asks what she wants for breakfast, and then asks why she’s holding a knife. She says she found it on the coffee table, and Jason thinks he left it there. She says she feels a lot better and her head feels clearer, and apologizes for acting strange. Jason says no problem, and promises no more surprises or lack of communication.

Nina tells Nathan that she doesn’t want to pry, and that Amy is right about the pop of color bringing out his eyes. He says that he’s just doing a favor, and it’s nothing she needs to worry about. He says he’s not having an affair. He loves Maxie, but does have somewhere he has to go.

Nelle tells Bobbie she’ll stay out of her way if Bobbie stays out of hers. Bobbie says she has  better idea; Nelle should stay away from Michael. It’s sad that she can’t tell difference between affection and pity. Nelle flashes back to what Michael told her; how it wasn’t pity he felt. She tells Bobbie to forget she said anything, and starts to leave, but Bobbie grabs her arm. Nelle tells her to get off, and Nina comes in, asking if there’s  problem.

Josslyn talks to Michael about what a creep Sonny is, and how he’s affected Carly. She wants Carly to hate Sonny as much as she does. She tells Michael to talk to her and tell her to build a wall around her heart that Sonny can’t get past. Michael says it’s not up to them if she decides to forgive Sonny. Josslyn says she never will.

Carly tells Sonny that she can feel her blood pressure dropping, it’s so relaxing. Sonny gets a call. He says they’re staying there tonight.

Julian says that Kirby knows where all the bodies are buried, but Kirby says he’d never roll over on anyone, and his problem has more to do with tactics on the west coast. Julian tells Kirby to cut to the chase. Kirby says they want same thing – Sonny out of the picture for good.

Amy coaches Nathan. He tells her it’s going to be okay and take a deep breath. It’s Marian Colby! (Actually, it’s Jennifer Bassey playing new character Quinn Danvers.) Quinn says Amy must be the voice behind Man Landers, and Amy says she’s his manager. Quinn tells him that she’s a fan. Advice columns are a balancing act between sensitive and macho, and he’s impressive for a newcomer. Amy says he’s shy in person. Quinn says this isn’t a book tour, just a casual conversation, and wants Man Landers to speak for himself.

Nelle says she was just leaving, and Bobbie says not soon enough. She has to take a call, and suggests Nelle not be there when she gets back. Nelle thanks Nina. Nina doesn’t like to see someone getting kicked while they’re down. Nelle says she deserves it, and Nina asks why she’s choosing to stay in Port Charles.

Josslyn tells Michael not to act like he’s never been mad at Sonny. Michael says that the older he gets, he realizes that everything isn’t black and white. He forgives Sonny because he’s family. In life, people have disagreements, and if the both of them went at it, he’d never cut her out of his life. He tells her that nothing can change family, and they hug.

Kirby isn’t kidding around; it’s time for Sonny to go. Julian says that Kirby has a good thing going on the west coast. He should learn from his mistakes, and leave Sonny’s territory alone. His brother went up against Sonny’s associates, and it didn’t end well. Julian says the business comes with a risk, and he wouldn’t do anything unprovoked. Kirby talks about Ava, thinking Sonny has something to do with it, and they both have reason for payback. They should team up and make him an example. Julian says he has no reason to get involved. He’s out on bail and under surveillance; if he gets caught up in it, he’ll just get caught, and he wants something better for his future.

Sonny tells Carly that the distributor won’t be there until after 5 pm, so they can’t settle the problem until the morning. He says they can have dinner, and he can have the staff fix up a room for her. Carly accuses him of setting the whole thing up.

Quinn says she has high hopes for big sales. Man Landers’s writing speaks to the everyman demographic. It’s witty, insightful, and relatable, with enough flair to hold the reader’s attention. Nathan knows more than Amy thought, and is able to quote himself.

Kirby says that Julian doesn’t get to walk away. Julian says he’s the exception to the rule, and even if he wanted back in, who’d risk doing business with him? It’s better for them both if he doesn’t get involved. Kirby says he’ll take care of Sonny himself, but won’t forget Julian’s lack of solidarity. After he leaves, Alexis, who’s been lurking around, says that sounded intense. She came back because Julian was acting odd. She asks if he was expecting Kirby, and Julian says he’s been trying to avoid him. Alexis heard enough to know that Kirby is targeting Sonny.

Carly says she knows every move in Sonny’s repertoire. Sonny says she’s the owner; he doesn’t have any strings to pull. He tells her to call the distributor at 5:30, and she can double-check.

Sam tells Jason that moving forward, she’s not going to let her exhaustion spiral out of control since they have a tribe of babysitters. There’s a knock at the door. It’s Julian. Jason says it’s not a good time, but Julian asks Jason to hear him out; it’s important.

Carly tells Sonny she’s free for the night, and sorry for what she said. This place meant a lot to her, and she knew it would ignite memories. She didn’t want to miss what used to be. Sonny says they’re getting divorced, but it doesn’t mean they won’t be in each other’s lives or that she’s not important to him.

Bobbie runs to Michael, telling him that Nelle has no plans to leave, and she can’t help thinking he’s the reason. Nelle might have misconstrued his sympathy. He asks if she told Nelle that, and Bobbie says it’s typical of her to play victim; she’s working an agenda. Michael says that if Bobbie is right, it’s his mistake to make.

Nelle tells Nina she doesn’t want to go back to Florida or Atlanta. Nina asks what about somewhere else, but Nelle says it won’t matter without a job. Nina says she’ll give Nelle a good reference, but Nelle says it makes more sense financially to stay. Nina says Michael is the reason she’s staying, and Nelle says maybe, but it won’t matter unless she gets job. Nina tells her that she might have an alternative. It’s been chaotic since Maxie left. She has an assistant, but needs an office manager. She asks if Nelle is up for it.

Quinn takes a call in the other room. Nathan tells Amy he figured he should read up on her advice. He says that she’s a strong, compelling writer, but too bad she has to hide. She tells him again that men won’t take advice form a woman. He doesn’t like taking credit for her, but she says he’s doing her the favor of a lifetime, and the charade won’t be for much longer. Quinn walks in and asks what charade?

Jason invites Julian in. Julian appreciates Jason being protective. He tells them that Kirby wants Sonny eliminated.

Amy tells Quinn that she wasn’t talking about a literal charade, but everything is hypothetical until the contract is signed. Quinn says that she’s been given the green light for the book deal. Once the contract is finalized, they’ll have plenty of support, but first they need to have a photo shoot. She says that Nathan is a real gift from the publication gods; they’ll sell a lot of books with his picture.

Nelle says she feels that she’s qualified, but is Nina sure? Nina says it would make her life easier, and she feels like she owes Nelle. She clearly didn’t want to spy on Valentin, and Nina has regrets. She wants a chance to make it better. Nelle accepts the job.

Bobbie says that Michael is an adult, capable of making his own decisions, but as his grandmother, she’s always going to worry about him and give her opinion. It’s up to him whether he listens. He says that’s fair enough, and she says he’s like his mother – and her; he insists on making his own choices. He tells her that he’ll live with the consequences, and for the record, nothing has happened yet. Bobbie says, famous last words. Yep. Along with, watch this! She leaves, and Josslyn says he’s doing the same thing with Nelle that Carly is doing with Sonny. Michael says he can say all he wants, but Carly isn’t going to listen; she has to figure out for herself. Josslyn says she thinks he’s wrong and a possible hypocrite, but thanks for talking. Outside, she calls her friend Trina, saying that she has the house to herself tonight, so they can have some people over. That should be good.

Carly tells Sonny that it means a lot to her that they can be civil and respect each other. She says since they don’t have to work, she’s going to sit by the pool. He suggests a walk by the ocean.

Sam asks Julian why not go to Sonny? Julian says that Max probably has orders to shoot him on site. Jason wonders if it’s a trap. He tells them to ask Alexis; she was there. They can tell Sonny or not, but he thought they should know. He leaves, and Jason thinks he should call Sonny. Sam wonders if Julian is telling the truth, and Jason says, what if he is?

Carly tells Sonny, why not? Sonny says he’ll meet her outside. He misses Jason’s call.

Tomorrow, Quinn says no pictures no publication, Nelle thinks Charlotte should stay in Nina’s life, and there’s a mystery in Puerto Rico.

The Haves and the Have Nots

When we last left, Quincy Jr. had been shot. Benny says they have to get him to a hospital, but Hannah tells him that it’s too late. Someone yells to call for an ambulance. Benny tells Quincy Jr. that they’re getting him help, but I think we’re past that.

Jeffrey sees that Melissa has cut her wrists. He calls 911, and screams at her why did she do this? He gets some towels, and tries to stop the bleeding. He yells for his mother. He asks Melissa about her mother, and she says she’s just like his. He tells her that he doesn’t hate her, but she’s fading fast. He runs to Veronica’s room. She tells him she’s trying to sleep, and to put some bass in his voice. She sees blood on him, and wakes up quickly. He tells her it’s Melissa, and Veronica thinks she lost the baby. When she sees what’s going on, she tells Melissa that if she loses the baby, she’ll kill her herself, calling her a dumb bitch. She asks Jeffrey what he did. He says her dad died. Veronica said he was going to die anyway, and screams at Melissa that people die. Jeffrey tells her to shut up, and calls 911 again. She keeps smacking Melissa, and when Jeffrey tells her to stop it, claims she’s trying to save Melissa’s life. She tells Jeffrey the call is being recorded, and to shut up. He tells her not to hit Melissa again. Veronica tells Melissa that if she dies, she’ll make her family’s life a living hell. Jeffrey wants to stop the bleeding, and Veronica goes to get gloves. We hear the sirens, and he tells Veronica to go open the door.

Candace goes to Erica’s hotel room. Erica says she doesn’t have any money, and Candace says she knows. Erica is surprised that Candace didn’t get any marks tonight. She says the Presidential candidate Charles Frederickson is staying there, and David knows him. She thought Candace was staying at the Fountain Drop, but Candace says she’s staying in the same hotel that Erica is. Erica says David might be coming back, and Candace gives her the room number she’s in. She fixed the door so it stayed open after the guest left, and says she probably has until housekeeping comes. She gets a call from Benny, but she doesn’t answer.

Candace asks how it’s going with David, and Erica says it’s going. Candace asks if they’ve had sex yet, and Erica says they did, and under that suit is the body of an athlete. Candace says here she is with nothing again, and she’s been here before. Erica tells her no looking back, and Canace says she had millions. Erica says Candace is her girl, and she can borrow what she likes. While Candace looks in the closet, Erica texts War, telling him Candace is there. War tells her about the shootout, and that Quincy Jr. Is dead. He says let him know where Candace is in a couple of hours. Candace picks out a dress, and Erica says she was just texting good-night to David. Candace asks if she’s falling in love with him, but Erica says she’s not.

Erica asks if Candace is going to talk to Benny, but she says no. If Erica needs her, call the Batphone. I swear that’s what she said. Erica wants a hug, and Candace says she’ll call later. Erica asks if she wants to stay in her room for old time’s sake. Candace says she’ll call. I think she’s picking up a weird vibe.

Oscar sees David at the bar. He says it’s been a long night, and David says him too. Neither one of them want to talk about it, but David says maybe after a drink. Oscar thanks him for the Jim referral. He’s looking for Jim’s son. He asks if Wyatt is gay, since it gets a man to trust him easier, and David says no, but he has a mean drug problem. He says he thinks he blew it with Erica and pushed too hard. He didn’t do anything; they both decided not to, but suddenly she asked him to stop when they were making out. Oscar says she’s good, and David asks what he means. He says either it got too much for her to handle, or she didn’t like it, but David doesn’t think that’s it. Oscar says she could also be setting him up. David thinks Oscar has spent too much time with Candace. Oscar says that David is probably moving too fast, and to watch his heart. David says that’s not the part of his anatomy that needs attention. Oscar says he’s been able to get a lot of fortunes after a divorce, and sex is the quickest way to his heart; he needs to take his time. David gets a text from Erica saying she hopes he made it home safe. Oscar tells him to ride it out for tonight. Let her wonder where his head is. David doesn’t want to play games, but Oscar says there are new rules. David tells Oscar that he’s old school.

Jim arrives at the bar. David wonders what Candace is doing here, and Jim says probably doing what she does best. Jim says David is the only one in the room who hasn’t slept with her, and calls her over. She says, isn’t this predictable? Jim asks how she is, and she says as good as she looks. He tells her hiding isn’t her style, and David says maybe avoiding prison is; there’s a warrant out for her arrest. He says as an officer of the court he could do it, and there’s much joking about handcuffs. Jim says the photos are in possession of the police, and announces that Candace also killed Quincy and buried him in her backyard. David says that’s not very smart. Jim talks about nosy neighbor Pearl, and says there are cameras everywhere. Oscar asks what Quincy looks like, and Candace says he looks like the one who beat his ass before he ran out the door. She tells David that Jeffrey helped her. David doesn’t believe it. Jim asks to talk to Candace alone. Candace says she doesn’t think David will call the police until he checks in with his son.

Jim says he misses Candace. He asks if she has a room there, and she says no. He suggests they go to her place, and she asks if he means the one he foreclosed on. He knows she has nothing left, and asks if it was worth it. She says it was fun, and he asks who she’s blackmailing now. He tells her that he wants her, and she says he wants to trap her. He tells her to get over her suspicion, and holds out a drink. He says that he won; take the martini. She says she doesn’t want it or him. They banter a bit, and he keeps telling her to take the martini, reminding me of Ruth Gordon in Rosemary’s Baby for some reason. Candace says she has to go. Jim says he’ll be at the bar.

David calls Jeffrey and leaves a message to call him immediately.

Benny and Hannah sit in the hospital waiting room. Benny asks for the phone. He goes to make a call while Hannah sits dejected. Benny calls Kathryn. She asks what’s wrong and where’s Hannah? He says they need help; they’re at the hospital. He starts to cry, and says his nephew died. She asks how, and Benny tells her that he was shot. Kathryn asks what hospital, and says she’s on her way. He thanks her.

At Wyatt’s place, the interventionists can’t figure out why the detox isn’t working. They want to take him to the hospital, but he doesn’t want to go. They get him up and out.

Benny tries to give Hannah some water, but she doesn’t want it. She says they killed him. He had it hard, and she tried to give him a better life. Benny tells her not to get upset, but she doesn’t know how she can’t be. She says Candace doesn’t get it. It’s a cycle that just keeps going around and around, and getting worse and worse. She says there’s a loop, and it’s all going to come back around. She was trying to stop it before it was too late, and now he’s dead. She calls out to Jesus. Benny suggests they pray. He reminds her of a prayer she used to say with him. She says she can’t pray, and he tells her not to say that. He says let’s go back, but she says she can’t go back there. I think the room is probably going to be a crime scene for a while anyway. He tells her to stay there; he’s going to handle a few things.

Mitch shows up, and Benny starts to cry. Mitch tells him to be cool, and not let his mom see him. Rose appears with her crew. Mitch says it wasn’t supposed to be like this. It wasn’t supposed to happen. Rose wants to know who shot at him, and Benny says it was War, and tells her where he is. Rose tells someone on the phone to put DA Jennifer’s body in the trunk of War’s car, and let all hell break loose. They have to send a message that it’s never right to go after a Malone.

Veronica asks if Jeffrey heard anything about the baby. He says he doesn’t know anything. Veronica goes to the desk, but the nurse says the doctor is with patients. Veronica says the only important patient is the one carrying her unborn grandchild. The nurse says she’ll page him when he’s done. Veronica says it would be a shame to spend all those years in nursing school to ask if you want fries with that. She tells the nurse that she wants to see a doctor within three minutes. She boots a lady out of the seat next to Jeffrey, and then boots her out of the next one she tries to sit in, saying it’s a private conversation. Jeffrey says she just can’t not be a bitch. She says he’s trying to be one. He says Melissa tried to kill herself because of Veronica. Veronica says don’t blame her; she didn’t hold the blade. She reminds him that she’s his attorney.

Veronica calls her maid, Rosita, saying that even though she has the day off, she has to come in or risk her job. Or she could come tonight. Melissa had an accident, and she needs the house around it cleaned. She says she doesn’t care about the bus. She tells Jeffrey it’s not her problem if Rosita has to get a bus at 4 am. That’s probably going to be another crime scene. For a bunch of people who are all involved in law somehow, no one ever thinks of that.

David calls Jeffrey. Jeffrey says he’s at the hospital and explains. David asks if Veronica is behind it, and Jeffrey says he knows it. David says he’s on his way, but Jeffrey says she’s here. David says he has to talk to Jeffrey in person. Veronica asks what he wants, and Jeffrey says he was just checking up on him. Veronica asks if he’s coming, and when Jeffrey says he is, she says that’s good. She checks herself out in her compact, and complains about the bags under her eyes. Jeffrey says she has no sympathy at all, and she says no, she doesn’t. At least you know where you are with this sociopath.

Suddenly, Kathryn is standing in front of Veronica.

Next time, Oscar wants Candace to be his partner, Rose tells Jim that she wants to send a clear message, and Kathryn comforts Hannah. It looks like a great season to come with “twisted, tantalizing Tyler.”

Below Deck Mediterranean

I hope no onions are involved with this charter.

Adam leaves the dinner on the crew’s night off, and Malia follows Adam back to the boat because they’re both middle schoolers. Hannah asks where Adam went, and I laugh when Bugs says that he went “home.” I guess it is when you’re on charter. Max says that killed the vibe, and Wes no longer wants to know Malia.

Omg, Malia and Adam talk like something out of a bad romance novel. You came all the way back just for me? We might be connecting on a level that’s surpassing the yacht relationship. Gag. She asks if he wants to party, and he says he’s a good bartender. She asks if he’s going to put onions in it, and I have to admit that’s pretty funny.

Hannah and Lauren talk about Bugs. Hannah says ever since Adam made the comment that Bugs should be chief stew, she hasn’t said a word. They go outside for a smoke. Hannah talks about having Bugs’s back when her grandmother died, and now she has nothing in return. Lauren says she hopes to be half the chief stew Hannah is one day. Hannah says she’ll always have Lauren’s back.

Adam kisses Malia as fireworks literally go off. Now we’re in a Hallmark movie. She knows everyone will be talking, but doesn’t care. Oh, you will. The others head back to the boat. Malia and Adam pretend to be eating in the galley. Adam sneaks more kisses. Wes says she chose the d*ck. Yep. He tells Bobby they all got played. In his interview, he says he has a crush on Malia, but he feels for Wes, pointing out that Adam is the one who just jeopardized their tip.

Bugs tells Hannah she hopes Hannah sorted out what she needed to. Max tells Bobby that he deserves better. Everyone turns in.

We flash back to Captain Sandy calling out Adam. He says he’s definitely on her radar now. Wes thinks maybe he misread signals. He talks to Bugs about Hannah. She doesn’t think it’s right how Hannah is treating her, because she isn’t the one who said anything, even if she thinks it. Wes says he’s there for her.

The captain goes over the new preference sheets. Primary guest Jason has recently left his finance career, and is considered one of the most eligible bachelors in Dallas. Hannah thinks he’ll be d-bag central and they’ll all be high maintenance. They’ve requested a Cuban dinner, and a white party with a 7-course meal, each dish representing a different color. Why? Who knows. Captain Sandy says all eyes are on Adam, especially hers. Ha-ha!

Bugs asks Hannah if they’re good. In her interview, Bugs says she’s not good with unresolved feelings, and thinks they should hash it out and move forward. Hannah says that she didn’t like the situation with Adam, and Bugs says it wasn’t cool. She didn’t think it was right, and he was unprofessional. She wanted to leave it behind, but felt excluded at the crew dinner. Hannah says Adam has been going at her all season, and since Bugs and Adam seem to have a friendly relationship, it was easier for her to chat with Lauren. In her interview, Hannah calls girl code. Bugs says she supports Hannah, and has her back. Hannah hopes the next charter goes more smoothly.

The crew readies the yacht. Adam asks to talk to Hannah. He says he owes her an apology. She says more than anything, she was bothered by what he said to Bugs because it diminishes her rank. In his interview, it’s dawned on Adam that this is his job, and he needs to make amends. Hannah doesn’t really trust him, but tells him she’s good, and they hug it out.

The guests arrive. The girls are stunned by Jason’s beauty, but IMO he’s no Marc Singer. Hannah does the tour thing. She’s trying to figure out the romance situation, hoping none of the women are with Jason. The captain calls Malia to the bridge, and tells her she’s going to take the boat off the dock. In her interview, Malia says she’s always wanted to outrank her brother, who’s a military captain.

Hannah tells Adam the primary isn’t a d-bag. That will teach her to judge a guest by his headshot. Wes and Malia work together. Wes is tempted, but in his interview, says first time, shame on you, and you know the rest. Bobby is hoping he gets a chance to take the boat off the dock, and likes how the captain lets them be involved. Malia likes how Captain Sandy puts them in situations where they can fail. She’s nervous, but the captain guides her through. Success!

Geez, Jason is a nice guy, offering to help Hannah. Adam is relieved to be chopping onions, but Captain Sandy just wants him to stay focused on his job. In his interview, Max talks about the last stern tie being a fail, and hopes this one works out better. It goes well, and the captain says they keep improving. Hannah goes over the schedule with the guests. She’s excited for the Cuban theme party, since she was just there. I want to go!

One of the ladies offers Bobby a cocktail, but he can only wish. Wes goofs around with Malia. Why? Hannah welcomes a Cuban musician on board. The crew sets up the party in a cove. The stews discuss Jason. Hannah says they can’t go there with charter guests, but if anyone could tempt her, it would be him. The guests shove off for the party.

Pictures are taken while they still have light. Hannah gives everyone shots, and Jason says she’s a mind reader. At the yacht, Max talks to his girlfriend on the phone, and asks when she’s coming to see him. We see photos, and they’re a cute couple. Ooh, the cove is nice in candlelight. The deckhands carry the female guests to the return boat, and Jason jokes about Hannah carrying him. Adam prepares dinner, and hopes nothing gets sent back.

Max’s girlfriend is coming on Tuesday. He suggests a double date with Malia and… somebody. The female guests check out the galley, and they’re thrilled when Bobby walks through, letting him know that one of them is single. In his interview, he says cougars are flirting with him right and left, but he can’t get a flirt out of Malia. Dinner is served, and all goes well.

After dinner, Jason asks Hannah to join them for a drink, but she says she can’t. He tells her if she’s scared just say so. The guests want to look at the crew’s quarters and the crew mess (where the crew eats, not the mess in their quarters), although I’m not sure why, since it’s an imposition. Bobby says he’s scared of Tina, who must be the single one. He says that the cougar wants the cub, but not vice versa. The guests move on to the hot tub.

Hannah brings the guests drinks. Jason gets his phone wet, and she offers to put it in rice, but he believes it’s beyond saving. In her interview, she says he’s got a great body, and there’s nothing wrong with a 40-year-old having a 20-year old’s body, and the bank account of a 70-year-old. Or something like that. She chats with Jason on the deck while having a smoke, and he asks her questions about yachting. In her interview, Bugs thinks it’s unheard of and unacceptable for a chief stew to be flirting with a charter guest, and she’s dumbfounded. Maybe just dumb. It’s not like they were acting inappropriately.

I am so fascinated with Croatia. And so wish I could go on one of these charters. It looks heavenly – the scenery, the food, the everything. Although getting there is not half the fun. Love traveling; hate the process. The guests go ashore, and Adam starts preparing the 7-course meal. The deckhands play with helium, which never gets old. Captain Sandy goes over alternatives for the guests who don’t like seafood with Adam. This has to be embarrassing. It’s pretty bad when the captain feels the need to go over the menu with the chef. Lauren feels like she’s in the middle of Hannah and Bugs, who are both giving her orders.

Hanna goes over the schedule with Bugs. Hannah is going for a nap, and in her interview, Bugs thinks that’s unacceptable too, and tells us that she’d never do that before a guest party. Hmm… I’m seeing how this one could become a problem. Adam should have kept his mouth shut.

The dinner table décor is amazing – white balloons, crystal, pearls, other white stuff, appetizers in fancy spoons. The appetizer doesn’t even sound like something I’d like, since it involves fennel, but I’d eat ten of them. Jason is impressed with the details, and tells Hannah that they weren’t expecting anything so amazing. The different colored courses turn out to be fun. One course is seared tuna, with beets for the non-seafood people. Now we’re talking my language. In the galley, Hannah asks Bugs if they’re good, and Bugs says they are, but her face says something different. Jason is also impressed with the food. The scales are officially tipping in Adam’s favor.

Two of the guests don’t eat pork, and one whispers to Bugs that she’d like a chicken breast instead. Hannah says the guest doesn’t know how to write, and Adam is concerned about his redemption night. He makes the chicken, claiming he’s never saying no again. The same guest, who Hannah calls “Plastic Fantastic,” bitches about the salt in one of the dishes. Lauren tells Hannah that she’s getting frustrated, and feels like she has two chief stews. Hannah says it’s her fault for giving Bugs too much power. The guests compliment the chef, and Adam hopes this is a step forward. Hannah has a shot with the guests, which bugs Bugs.

The guests start to turn in. Hannah runs after Jason and…

Next time, Adam tells Hannah she’s not perfect, Bugs outs Hannah texting a guest, Max’s girlfriend arrives, Wes kisses Malia (shame me twice, shame on me), and it’s revealed that Adam hooked up with Malia before the show.

🏝 Well, what did I say? Apparently, the producers of Bachelor in Paradise have found no wrongdoing on the part of any contestant. Like that cop after the Tawana Brawley scandal, DeMario Jackson must be wondering where he goes to get his reputation back.

☮ Just a thought. Instead of attacking every fart Donald Trump blows, we should be going after the real enemy. Ourselves.