What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

General Hospital

I missed the first. All you need to know is, Scotty was talking with Elizabeth and Franco; Nikolas saw Britt at the hospital; and Cyrus crashed Mike’s memorial celebration at the MetroCourt.  

Dante asks Lulu if it’s a bad time. Dustin says, Dante, right? and Dante says he shouldn’t have come. Lulu tells him, please stay.

Cyrus tells Sonny, he’s truly sorry about Sonny’s father, even though he never had the pleasure. Sonny says, not personally, but he sent a representative to greet them in New York. Right, Jason? Cyrus says he’s sure Sonny’s father was proud to have a son rise from humble beginnings to see his family flourish. Speaking of family… He looks at Brando and says, Sonny’s cousin is someone to be proud of. It’s good to see him again.   

Carly tells Gladys, she didn’t drive all the way from Bridgeport to pay her respects; she wants something. Gladys says she wants what’s right for her son. She sees what Sam and Jason have. Sam says they earned everything they have, including Sonny’s trust. She can’t demand her share. Gladys says, Sam and Jason had a whole new life handed to them, and unlike Sam and Jason, they’re family. Sam says, as much as Gladys talks about family, she has no idea what it really means.

Scotty says Elizabeth’s lifelong friend Nikolas pretended to be dead to get his hands on the Cassadine money. Does she think he’s going to give it up over a smooch with her? She says he thinks he might, and Franco says she thinks Nikolas is going to give up something it took him three years of scheming to get? She says, not give up, but take a risk.

Nikolas tells Britt, Cyrus has talent. You can’t run a drug empire without a good team. She asks if the whole town rehearsed that response. Sonny donated an entire wing, and no one cared. Nikolas says, the AIDS/HIV research wing. Sonny is nothing like Cyrus. She says, right. Sonny is a good mobster. She’s choosing to ignore the accusations, and focus on saving lives. She tells Nikolas that she hasn’t heard from Spencer in a while. He’d begged her to intervene, asking her to save Nikolas from himself or from his new wife, whichever came first.

Julian tells Ava, if Sonny reads the letter, it will be his death warrant. She tells him that Ryan has it. 

Cyrus tells Brando, he hopes they can start fresh now that the men who attacked him are behind bars. Brando says he appreciates Cyrus making sure they were punished, and Cyrus says he was mortified to learn they were trying to impress him by beating up one of Sonny’s relatives; it was the least he could do. Sonny says Cyrus is a regular concerned citizen, and Cyrus says he doesn’t expect a medal for doing his civic duty. Jordan comes in, and he says, here’s someone else who’s committed to doing good by their fair city. Always a pleasure.

Elizabeth says she and Franco intended on getting back at Nikolas and Ava for dragging them into the twisted game they’re playing. She’d hoped maybe they’d wake up, and come to their senses. Scotty tells Franco, say something, and Franco says, she’s right. Scotty says, say something else, and Franco says, in the beginning, Elizabeth was all in. What changed? She says her decision was based on anger, but she realized they’re blackmailers. Scotty says, so what? If people would stop doing stuff to be blackmailed for, they’d stop being blackmailed, especially Ava and Nikolas. Franco says they disrespected his and Elizabeth’s relationship. They’re balancing the scales.   

Nikolas tells Britt, he’s come around to being married, and she says she figured as much when she saw him wearing his wedding band. Has he enlisted Spencer in playing his loveless marriage con? Nikolas flashes back to him and Ava having sex, and tells Britt, things between him and Ava are complicated. Britt laughs, and says, oh my God. He went ahead and developed feelings for Ava. He says he’s not getting into that with her of all people, and she says she got over him around the time he pressed charges against her. But she’d still sleep easier knowing he was watching his back. He’s playing a dangerous game. He says, she would know, and she says, people who are close to Ava have a habit of dying. She read about Ava’s daughter. He says, don’t remind him. Ryan is still obsessed with Ava. She says, for God’s sake, divorce Ava before he’s on Ryan’s radar.   

Julian asks how Ava knows Ryan isn’t bluffing, and she says, how would he know the letter existed? Julian says, Nelle could have told him, and she admits, it would be like Ryan to wield something over her head that he doesn’t have. She supposes it’s possible she could call his bluff, and wait and see if Sonny gets anything interesting in the mail. He asks when Ryan wants to see her next, and she says they’re supposed to seal the deal today. The terms were that Ryan holds on to the letter if she visits once a week. He says, that’s all? and she asks if he knows what that means; weekly visits with her daughter’s murderer. Just then, her husband barged in, supposedly to rescue her, and Ryan got the distinct impression Nikolas cares. Even worse, that she cares about him. So he changed the demands accordingly

Alexis tells Olivia that she went to Neil’s memorial, and Neil’s brother told her that she wasn’t welcome. Olivia says Ned saw she was upset, and listened. Olivia says she’s not surprised. Ned is a good person. She asks Ned how Alexis helped him, and Ned says he was worried when he hadn’t heard from Olivia, and… Alexis says she told him not to be worried, because Olivia loves him. We flash back to Alexis telling Ned that she’s supposed to be Olivia’s friend, and Ned saying she never exchanged vows with Olivia. He’s a married man, and Olivia loves him. Olivia says, that’s so sweet, and Alexis says it was the least she could do after Ned gave her – she remembers saying, what happened tonight is… and Ned saying, tonight – sound advice. Olivia says that’s her Ned. Always looking out for other people.

Carly tells Gladys, this day is all about remembering Mike. They can discuss her ambitions for Brando and her greed another time. Gladys says Mike would be ashamed to see how they’re treating her son, and Carly says if Gladys wants to do something for her son, get in the car and go back to Bridgeport. The ATM is closed.

Jordan tells Sonny, first, her condolences about Mike. She knows how much he meant to Stella. He was one of her favorite people. Sonny says, Stella was one of Mike’s too, and their family’s. She said first; does that mean she’s here on official business? She says they have questions for Brando regarding Jason’s accident. Brando tells Gladys that they’re trying to pin the accident on him, and she says, Brando is an excellent mechanic. He doesn’t make mistakes. Jordan tells her, she never said it was a mistake.   

Lulu tells Dante, please don’t go. Did he come all this way to turn around and leave? Dante walks in and looks around. Dustin introduces himself, and holds out his hand. Dante takes it, and Dustin says, good to meet him, but then Dante twists Dustin’s arm, forcing Dustin to his knees. He takes out a gun, and Lulu says, Dante, no1

Lulu tells Dante, please don’t. She says he doesn’t know what he’s doing. Dante is about to shoot, and Lulu says, no! but it’s all in Dante’s head. He takes Dustin’s hand, and Dustin says he’s heard a lot about Dante. Dante asks if Lulu minds if he washes up, and Lulu says, sure. Does anyone know he’s there? Dante says, he’s been released. If she doesn’t believe him, she can call the field office. She’s still listed as his next of kin. He goes into kitchen, and takes out his prescription bottle.

Olivia says she’s so glad Ned and Alexis can still connect. It’s important to have support. She excuses herself, saying she wants to check on the waitstaff, and make sure they’re doing their jobs. When she’s gone, Alexis says, that was close, and Ned says, too close.

Britt asks if this is how Nikolas wants his story to end; an episode on a true crime podcast? He says he’s aware of the threat Ryan poses. Ryan nearly killed his sister. She says if he doesn’t care about his own life, care about Spencer’s. He’s already grieved Nikolas once. Don’t make him do it again. She says his life is none of her business anymore, but if he decides to risk everything to save his fortune, he’d better hope Ava isn’t willing to do the same. Nikolas walks away, and Britt sees Scotty walking by.

Julian tells Ava, she divorces Nikolas, visits Ryan a few times, and gets the letter; what is she waiting for? Start filing. She says, a lot of money is involved, but he says, forget the money. If Ryan sends that letter to Sonny, he’s a dead man. She says, it’s Ryan they’re talking about. There are no guarantees he’ll honor the deal. She could divorce Nikolas, lose her share of the Cassadine fortune, and he could still mail the letter for kicks.

Jordan says forensics narrowed down the cause of the accident, and Brando says, the stabilizer. What does that prove? Parts fail; it happens. She says, no other part in the batch was flawed. Their examination indicates it was tampered with. Gladys says that doesn’t prove Brando did it, but Brando says, what matters is, they can attach his name to it. Sonny tells him, keep it down, and Brando says, there’s only one plausible theory; he didn’t do it.

Ned asks if he can trust Alexis not to say anything to Olivia, and Alexis asks if he thinks she wants to ruin Olivia’s life. And it will make her life easier. Don’t worry; she’s not going to say anything. He says, not intentionally, but it’s clear she’s going through a rough patch. She asks if he thinks she’s too emotional to be relied on. Look in the mirror. He hopped into bed next to her. Olivia comes back, and Alexis says, just in time. She was just telling Ned that she needs more ice. He’s all hers. When Alexis leaves, Olivia says, Alexis is drinking again. He asks what makes her think that, and she says she saw Alexis spike her drink earlier. She asks if that’s what happened last night. She assumes he saw Alexis drinking, and tried to help. He says, something like that, and she says she’s proud of him. He says, don’t be, and she says she feels terrible for Alexis. She doesn’t know what she’d do if she lost him. He says, she never will – never. They hug.

Britt says, it’s Scotty, Ava’s flunky, and he says, not flunky; friend. She says, so be a friend, and use whatever influence he has to get her to divorce Nikolas. He asks, why? Does she want to take another stab at Nikolas’s gazillions? She says she’s looking out for Spencer. Someone is going to lose in this game, and she doesn’t want it to be Nikolas’s kid. He says, don’t worry. Ava and Nikolas will eventually head for splitsville. She asks why he’s saying that. Would he care to share with the rest of the class?

Ava tells Julian, whatever course she takes, there’s no guarantee of the outcome. He says if Sonny reads the letter, he’s a dead man. Divorce Nikolas, and it will buy them some time to, shall he say, find a more permanent solution to Ryan. Will it be her actual brother or fake husband? Nikolas comes in, and Ava smiles at him.   

Gladys says, Sonny is head of the family; do something. He tells her, relax, and says if Jordan wants to question Brando, she’ll do it with his lawyer present. Brando asks who the lawyer is, and Sonny says, whoever he wants to represent him. Brando says he can’t afford a lawyer, and Gladys tells Sonny, come on. Brando says Sonny doesn’t think he did this, does he? Sonny says, it doesn’t matter what he thinks. If Brando is smart, he’ll shut his mouth, and let the lawyer do the talking. Brando says he’ll get himself a lawyer then. He asks if he’s under arrest, but Jordan says she just wants him to come down to the station. He says he’ll come tomorrow, and she can ask him every damn question without the help of anyone there.

Dante comes back, and Dustin says he’ll check in with Lulu in a bit. He leaves, and Dante asks about the kids. Lulu says, Charlotte is at Valentin’s, and Rocco is sick; he’s upstairs sleeping. He says she didn’t have to send him away… Desmond? She says, Dustin. He says he knows they have a lot to talk about, and asks where she wants to start. She says, how is he? He says, released, and she says she’s not asking what the doctors said. She’s asking how he’s feeling. He says he worked hard to get better, and had no choice but to come back. She says, the last time they spoke, he had no choice but to leave. He asks if she’s saying she wishes he hadn’t come back, and she says, how dare he ask that? Of course (🍷) she’s happy he’s back. He says he’s sorry; that wasn’t fair. She says no, it’s not. She didn’t ask to end the marriage. Does he have any idea what he did to her, to their family? Watching him walk out, and hearing him say, don’t wait; move on with her life. He was her life, but she did what he asked. He said he was sick, and couldn’t get better there with her, his wife. So she let him go. She crawled out of the wreckage he left, and kept going without him, despite every fiber in her being wanting to get him and bring him home where he belonged. Don’t dare come back to the house he abandoned, and ask if she wishes he hadn’t come back. She prayed for this moment, until she realized her children needed her to look at them, not at the door she was wishing he’d walk through. She did what he asked, and moved on. She told him that she’d wait forever, and he said forever was a long time. Dammit. Forever was a year and a half. He says, if she’d known, would she have… She says, what? Waited?  

Gladys says, Sonny’s father – may he rest in peace – is turning in his grave because Sonny won’t spring for a lawyer for his own flesh and blood. After all Brando has done for them. Carly says, that’s enough, and Gladys says, for once they agree. She’s done with this family, and how it treats its own. Cyrus, who everyone forgot was there, says he should be going as well. His deepest condolences. He leaves, and Jordan tells Sonny, she didn’t mean to disrupt Mike’s memorial. Sonny says, she had a job to do. Jason says Brando surprised them all. Jordan asks if she can speak with Carly. She has some questions about Nelle. Sam asks Jason, what’s going on?    

Elizabeth tells Franco, they worked hard to create a loving, stable household for the boys. She doesn’t want them to lose that. Franco says they won’t let that happen. Scotty has them covered. They can sit back, relax, and watch him collect.

Julian tells Nikolas, they’re in the middle of something, but Ava tells Julian to give them a couple of minutes. She and Nikolas have something they need to discuss. They walk over to the bar, and Ava asks, what’s wrong? Nikolas says, where to begin, and she suggests he start with last night. He barged in when she didn’t need rescuing. He asks her to tell him what’s going on. What did Ryan say? Why is a serial killer targeting her? He thought it might be something they could talk about over coffee and toast. Does her brother know? Why did she rush to Pentenville the second Ryan snapped his fingers? She says, Ryan has something she wants, and he asks if what she wants from Ryan matters more than what she has with him.  

Lulu says, if she’d known Dante was only going to be gone a year and a half, she probably would have toughed it out. She doesn’t think he would have sent the divorce papers either. He says he probably would have, and she says things have changed for them now. He says he’s sorry, and she says, for what? He says, hurting her while he was coming and going. Lulu says he did what he thought he had to at the time, and it doesn’t hurt her that he’s back. He says, it seems like it does, but she says she didn’t realize how angry she felt. She doesn’t want to be angry. He says he can’t blame her for that, and she says, he’s back, and suddenly the whole life she built without him is totally different. He asks her to promise him one thing. It is a good life right?

Olivia tells Sonny, the folks in the old neighborhood would like to do something to honor Mike, with his permission. She’d be happy to put it together. Sonny flashes back to Dante asking him not to say anything yet about his return. He tells Olivia, it would be nice to see all of them. She says she’ll be in touch. Alexis walks in, and Ned looks panicked.   

Sam tells Jason, she knows something’s up with Cyrus. Keep her in the loop. Sonny walks over, and tells Sam, it’s business. Alexis saunters up, and asks if they’re talking politics or religion. Sonny says, not now, and he and Jason walk away. Alexis asks Sam if it was something she said.

Sonny and Jason move to the hallway, and Sonny says, thanks to Brando, they have a problem on their hands. Brando joins them, and says he’s not the problem; he’s the solution. Jason wanted him to spy on Cyrus’s organization. This is his way in.

Franco tells Elizabeth, if they do this, Cameron can go to college. They can pay all the bills off, Jake can go to art school, and Aiden can go to the CIA. Not that CIA. The Culinary Institute of America. She asks how they can look the kids and each other in the eye, knowing where the money came from? I dunno. I could look in everyone’s eye just fine if I was them.

Ava asks if, instead of getting what she wants from Ryan, she should stick with what she’s got with Nikolas? What does he think they have? He says, a marriage, and she laughs. He says, it might be forged in hell, but it’s still a marriage. She says, maybe on paper, and he says, even if it ended today, he couldn’t stand by and watch her be drawn back into Ryan’s orbit. She says it’s good to know there’s a limit to how much hate he has for her, but he says he never hated her. She says he did, and he says, maybe a little. She says, that’s okay; she hated him too. She’s got to go. He asks her to please tell him that she’s not seeing that maniac. He can’t stop her, but he’s begging her, please don’t go back to Pentenville. Don’t see Ryan again. Whatever hold he has on her, tell him; he’ll fix it. Just don’t go. Julian makes a hand motion at her, and she says, sorry, she has to, and leaves.   

Sam asks if Alexis wants to talk about what’s going on, but Alexis says she’s all talked out. She walks away, and Sam picks up her drink and smells it. Not very clandestine of Alexis.

Jordan tells Carly, it’s strictly a formality. She wants Carly to come to the station, and fill in the blanks. Carly says, what blanks? She spoke to Valerie that night, and to Chase when they found the body. Jordan says, the body was recovered in Pennsylvania (on the Pennsylvania side of the river (🍷). The detective from that jurisdiction has some questions. Carly asks if it can wait; she just buried her father-in-law. Jordan says, the sooner it’s handled, the sooner it goes away. They just need the last pieces of the puzzle  

Outside of Charlie’s, Cyrus runs into Gladys. She says she saw him at Mike’s reception, and asks how he knew Mike. He says he never had the pleasure, but wanted to pay his respects. He introduces himself, and she does the same. They shakes hands, and he says, it’s lovely meet her. He’s so impressed with her son Brando. She says, that makes two of them; Brando’s a great kid. Too bad his own family doesn’t give a damn. He says, they’re grieving. That’s the only way to explain how harsh Sonny was to her boy. He tells her, Brando needs a friend, and hands her his card. Tell Brando to call him, and the same goes for her.

Sonny tells Brando, what he did could backfire, and Brando says he created a public rift. Sonny must have appreciated it, since he played along. Sonny says he had no choice, and Brando asks if Sonny doesn’t think Cyrus believes him. Sonny says he doesn’t know what to believe, and Brando says, come on. Cyrus was so damn arrogant; so sure he could take a family member away from Sonny. Sonny asks what Jason is thinking, and Jason says, if Cyrus is convinced, he’ll make another offer. If not… Brando says he’ll go to Cyrus, but Jason says, no. Cyrus is asking Brando to betray his family. If he seems too eager, Cyrus will know it’s a trap – if he didn’t figure it out already. Brando says, Cyrus sees it as an opening to pull him in. It’s going to work. Sonny asks if he’s willing to bet his life on it.

Dante says, it’s a good life, right, that Lulu made with Darius? She laughs through her tears, and nods. Dante says he’s truly happy for her, and she says Dustin isn’t him, but he’s a good person; kind, generous, and sweet, and he loves the kids. He loves her. Dante says, how could he not? He tells her, he should go, and she asks, where? He says he’s got to find a place to crash, and she asks if he’s staying in Port Charles. He says he’s never leaving the family again. He walks out, closing the door behind him. She runs to the door, but doesn’t open it. He leans against it on the other side, and she leans against the inside and cries.

Tomorrow, Ava tells Ryan that she’s there with something better, Lucy asks if everyone is ready to meet the deal of a lifetime, Peter doesn’t know if he can do something, and Finn tells Anna that he doesn’t need protecting.

Below Deck Mediterranean

This is the finale, right? Please tell me it’s the finale.

Jess tells Rob he’s done this passive/aggressive thing with the relationship, always threatening to leave. He says he doesn’t want to deal with petty stuff, and it’s on her. In his interview, Rob says he’s reached the point where he’s questioning whether to go to Bali or not. He tells David he’s in on the crossing, while Jess weeps in her cabin. Their relationship is wearing me out.

The captain tells Malia that she’s driving them out at 9:15. In Malia’s interview, she says it’s a huge honor to her. A captain doesn’t have to do these things, and Captain Sandy has put in an extra effort to encourage her. She can’t thank the captain enough. The anchor is in the pocket, and Captain Sandy stands next to Malia as she drives. Tom has come up, and Malia has her feet on the steering wheel. Tom says they don’t have an auto chef, but Malia says, it’s called a microwave, and ramen. Wow. All this time I didn’t know I had an auto chef in my kitchen. Bugs takes the breakfast orders, and checks on Jess in the laundry. In Bugs’s interview, she says being promoted, and gaining the respect of the crew was challenging, but she thinks interior came a long way. There’s an expiry date on yachting, and she’ll settle down eventually. She feels like Peter Pan in a girl’s body. She’s not ready to grow up yet.

Alex goes to the bridge, and jokes that he doesn’t feel safe without Captain Sandy at the wheel. Rob tells Alex that he might do the crossing. In his interview, Rob says it’s a great opportunity for him to progress in the industry, and will give him and Jess time to be apart for two weeks. It’s a hard position to be in. He doesn’t want to hurt Jess. They can enjoy themselves tonight, and he’ll tell her tomorrow. Aesha calls Alex poopy bum, and tells him that she’s excited to fly home. In her interview, she says she’s done yachting for so many years, giving everything to people she doesn’t know. She wants to put her motivation and energy into forging her own future. The guests visit the galley, and tell Tom, everything was excellent. In Tom’s interview, he says he’s never had so much stress working on a boat. Saying you’re going to quit or walk off is a way of physically taking control, but you’re not. You have a mortgage and twelve cats at home. Of course you need the effing job.

The captain asks if Malia and Tom own a boat together, and Malia says they have a job together. Aesha asks how Jess is, and Jess says, fabulous, darling. Malia tells the deck crew, they have one last docking. In Alex’s interview, he says, the deck team has been a roller coaster. Malia is a great leader, a great bosun, and a friend for life now. I don’t care. I still think she did Hannah a dirty. They dock, which is something I have to give Malia props for. She’s able to call out an accurate distance on sight, and I would so suck at that. In Captain Sandy’s interview, she says she’s worried about the ground lines. If she hits one, it can damage the propellor on the boat, or if it wraps around and gets tangled, she can pull the bow into the next boat’s stern, and damage two boats. There are lots of bleeps. Bugs asks Tom if he’s proud of his lady, and he says he is. In her interview, Malia says she hopes to be an inspiration to other females who do jobs that are traditionally male. She didn’t know from yachting when she started, and she wants to be a captain now.

Primary Hannah gets her cast signed by the crew, and Tom does a whole drawing of a chef with one of those poufy hats. The captain calls the crew to the dock to say goodbye. Hannah tells the captain, as moms, they’re used to taking care of everybody, so it was nice to be pampered and have fun. She gives the captain the tip envelope, and as they walk away, Aesha yells she loves them. Tom asks if she wants to go with them. Captain Sandy says, it’s the last charter, and tells them to change into their reds. They go back to the boat to change, and she radios them to meet in the main salon for their final tip meeting.

They gather, and the captain says they made it through the final charter. She loved how they were on the dock hugging and not fighting. It was a beautiful thing. When they started, she knew she wanted to end with the same crew, but that’s not life. That’s in a perfect world, and rarely happens. It turned out better. The interior went above and beyond. The women were happy. She asks, who rule the world? And the girls all say, girls! She says, how much? and Bugs says, a lot. She tells them the tip is $20,000, 1500 euros a person. Their season total was $14,292 each, the total being $175K and change. She says she spent the evening in her cabin making up awards using the Beaufort Wind Scale, since she felt they were champions. Jess’s status on the scale is a 2. She’s a light breeze; she’s always smiling and has a can-do attitude. Did we see the same person this season? She says Rob is a 0. He’s calm and steady, and can mitigate a storm. Tom is a 10, a full gale. He demands excellence, he’s creative, and he never forgot to feed the crew. Aesha is a 5, a fresh breeze. She’s kind, confident, and gentle, and ready to help. The captain was glad to have her back. In Aesha’s interview, she says, this is exactly what she was talking about, and we flash back to her telling Captain Sandy that the interior isn’t getting as much praise as they should. The captain says they finished the season great. Alex is an 8, a fresh gale. He’s a tried and true team player, and still trying to figure out Bugs. She gives Bugs a 9, a strong gale. She’s a queen who goes above and beyond for the guest’s experience, and  leads by example. Malia is a 9, another strong gale. She’s steadfast, funny, fair <cough!>, and a true leader. In Tom’s interview, he says he has more admiration for Malia now. She’ll make a great captain. She’s his calm. Captain Sandy says she’s going to join them for dinner. Alex asks if he can erase that part when he figures Bugs out. (Apparently, they’ve recently rediscovered their romance.)

Jess says she appreciates what Captain Sandy said. She’s been told the opposite her whole life. People thought she was an idiot. The captain says she saw that Jess was eager to learn, and Jess says she needed more direction. Captain Sandy says she was open and willing to learn. It’s been an absolute pleasure. Jess is gracious and kind. She doesn’t know why anyone would call her an idiot. Everyone has different gifts. She was kicked out of the 11^th grade, and didn’t go to college. She would never describe Jess that way. In Jess’s interview, she says she has issues from childhood, trying to please her mother. Jess thanks her, and they hug. 

Malia tells the deckhands they have to wash the boat, and asks them to do it quickly. The stews clean the cabins, and Bugs asks them to bag up the sheets. Alex asks if Bugs has a kissy for Alex, but she says she’s still at work. Aesha says she’s been secretly screaming inside the whole time, and Jess suggests she do it now, but Aesha says she doesn’t like screaming. Aesha says she feels happy, and Debbie Downer Jess says she feels like tonight will not go well. Rob tells Malia that he just wants to have a good night. She if he and Jess have had a night out that didn’t end in fighting yet. Aesha feels like she’s been there so long. She can’t believe they’re leaving. They find a pair of shoes, and Alex tries to give them to Bugs, but that’s a no. He says, the things he does for her… In Malia’s interview, she says, get the champagne ready. It’s the best night. It’s the best feeling. The final night out is the best.

Jess tells Rob, she’s tired, and ready for it to be done. He says he wants to have fun tonight, and she asks, are they good? He says, yeah, and she asks if he’s sure. My God. This even saps my energy. He says they are, but he doesn’t want to talk now. He wants to have fun, and not be serious a little bit. She says they can be single tonight. He’s shutting her down now. He says he just wants to have fun. We catch a glimpse of iced out Pete taking pictures of the crew.

Jess gets in a different a taxi with Malia, Tom, and Aesha, and says, Rob’s being a d*ck. Tom says they have the A-team, and with Aesha, they’ve got the volume. In the other taxi, the captain says she’s just having dinner, then leaving. Tom asks if Jess is all right, and she says she’s over it. She wants to have a normal, fun night, and Rob needs to be a weirdo. Rob tells Alex about Jess saying why don’t they be single, and Pete says, why not? His first line in 8 episodes. Alex says, don’t trust it. In Rob’s interview, he says it affirms he should go on the crossing, and not Bali. Jess says she doesn’t want to cry, and Malia says she looks old-fashioned beautiful; don’t cry. Rob says the guys should stick together, and Alex says, it’s their last night.  

They go to a gorgeous restaurant, where their table is on the balcony. Jess sits as far away from Rob as possible. Aesha says they couldn’t ask for a better last day. She wants to be around her family and friends. The captain says, having Tom was a gift, and he says it wasn’t his intention to blow up. She says she believes yachting has the best chefs because they adapt. When they have to do everything, and cook for the crew, it’s stressful. A guy comes in, and starts singing. Some other guys get a rhythm going on wooden boxes, and a woman comes out and flamenco dances. She’s wearing one of those frilly dresses, but it looks like she’s paired it with Oxfords that have chunky heels, so I’m puzzled. The box players pick up other instruments, and the crew dances to the music. Except for Jess, who sits being moody, and the captain, who doesn’t drink. When they come back, Captain Sandy says she loved this crew. Losing Kiko and Hannah, and bringing back Bugs and Aesha, it was a challenge since day one. But they were a real charter crew, and it never permeated through to the guests. She toasts to in appreciation of her champions. She leaves, and the crew toasts to the last night. Jess asks Rob if something is wrong, and he doesn’t say anything. As they get in the elevator with the first group, Malia says, it should be a fun ride. She gets in with the next group, and Tom says, someone farted. Everyone is giving all kinds of reactions, and in her interview, Malia says, oops. They come out coughing, and Alex tells her that she needs Febreze. She says, sorry. There was a malfunction in the elevator.  

They move on to a club. Rob tells Jess that he’s doing him like she’s doing her. She says, if it was up to her, she’d be sitting in his lap holding his hand, but he’s giving her the cold shoulder. Bugs opens a magnum of champagne, and Rob says, every single time, it reverts back to him. It’s tiring. Jess asks, what changed? and he says she suggested they be single. WTF is up with that? Those were her words. She says he’s like her mom. She’ll never be good enough. She’s sorry. He says he’s staying; she can go to Bali. She says she knew he didn’t want to go, and he’s been looking for a reason. The crew has a toast, and Jess gets up and jets. In her interview, she says, this is an effing nightmare. Bugs goes to find her. Rob looks like a zombie. Fire dancers perform.

Bugs knocks on a weird door that looks like a bookcase, and blends into the wall. I assume this is the ladies room. She gets no response, so she goes back to the table. Malia says, the charter guests are there, and in her interview, she says, they just dropped them off. Why are they here? Alex can’t believe it’s the last day, and says he loved every minute. Bugs says, it was so much fun. He’s grown on her; it’s so easy. He says he loves what they have, and she agrees. In her interview, she says when she’s working, she’s focused on the job at hand. Alex helped her open up. She’s more relaxed in her old age of 30. Ex-primary Hannah asks if Rob wants to smell her shoes. He’s hesitant at first, and she shoves her shoe under his nose. He says, amazing. This is the worst foreplay I’ve ever seen. She tells him that she thinks he has a beautiful soul, and he says, her too. That’s why they connect. He’s 100% authentic. Jess says, this is effing bullsh*t, and Malia says, Hannah is married. She’s just a total flirt. Rob tells Hannah that he identifies with strong women, and I think maybe he needs a dictionary. Jess tells Malia that Rob was obsessed with Hannah from the beginning. Rob says he knows how to speak with women on an authentic level. Alex kisses Bugs. The ex-charter guests leave.  

On the way to the taxi, Bugs tells Alex, it was so much fun. Malia says, girls and boys, and Tom says, it was a crazy night. Jess says she doesn’t feel good, and Bugs lies down in the back seat. Malia takes Jess’s arm, and says, come on. Jess cries, and says, clearly Rob has his own demons to work out, but he damaged her along the way. It’s unfortunate, because she loves him. Omg, I can’t stand the dramatics. It’s like these two are in middle school. Alex  tells Rob, at the end of the day, he deserves what he wants. Don’t let anyone manipulate him. Rob says he appreciates  Alex telling him straight.

They get back, and mill around the dock. Malia hugs Rob. She says he might not want to hear this, but it was the first time she got to chat with Jess. She thinks in a weird way Jess loves him. They just have different wavelengths right now. She can tell him from past experience working on a boat, everyone gets involved, and you perceive people in a different way. Jess is heartbroken over him. He says he doesn’t know the answer, and she says, it’s a tricky thing. Alex wonders where Tom is, and asks Malia if he’s crying on the dock too. Malia says, no; he’s in bed. Bugs chugs water, and Jess sits on the deck steps with her phone.

In Jess’s interview, she says, it doesn’t seem like Rob wants to be together from the signals he’s giving out. He can be single. She doesn’t know what he wants from her anymore. The next morning, they don’t speak, and Jess asks where the suitcases are. He suggests she ask Alex, and she asks what did she do exactly? He wonders if this is worth it, and she says, it’s caused a lot of damage. He says he needs space. He’s doing the crossing for himself. She says he’s running, and he says he’s telling her what he needs. She cries, and asks what she needs to say. He’s damaging her. He says, it’s a gift, and she says, heartbreak is not a gift. Keep that sh*t for someone else. She follows him, and asks if she can have a hug. He says he needs to get TF off the boat, and she says, please don’t do the crossing. He says he has a ticket to Bali, and two days to decide. She says, please don’t run from this, and he says he’s not. I have absolutely no clue where they stand at this point, since it’s all so vague. 

Everyone has coffee in the galley. Alex says his goodbyes. In his interview, he says he’s been tested in a few situations. They taught him how to make a negative situation positive, and turn it around; find a way out. This makes him think he can be a lead deckhand on a bigger vessel. Bugs tells him that he’s the best big… He says she was going to say brother; that’s incestuous. He’s the first one to leave. He seems like a good guy, and he’s cute with Bugs. Jess says goodbye to the captain, and Rob says goodbye to Malia. Aesha says, good luck. She enjoyed meeting him. Rob tells Jess, let’s embark on our journey, and Jess hugs Bugs, who tells her, have fun. Jess says she’s going to try. On the dock, Rob and Jess say they love each other. The text says Rob went to Bali, and in Aesha’s interview, she says, you’ve got to be kidding her.

Aesha says goodbye to Captain Sandy, and says she’s excited to go home. The captain tells her, enjoy it. In her interview, Aesha says she’s notoriously positive. This showed her that as a human, she has her low times, and that’s okay. Now she just wants to fly home, and everything will be easy breezy from there. Bugs is off, and says goodbye to Sandy, who says she was a dream come true, and thanks her. Bugs thanks her for the opportunity, and the captain says it was a pleasure working with her again. Bugs leaves, and there’s a tiny goat on the dock that’s just about the cutest thing alive. She stops to pet it. Malia tells Tom, it’s just them, and he jokes that he’s got to go; bye. They run upstairs to see the captain. Tom says, it was short and sweet, and the captain says it was a pleasure working with him. Captain Sandy says, she loves how happy they are, and wants to help in any way she can with Malia’s next step. Malia thanks her for the opportunity, and says, it meant a lot. They hug, and in Malia’s interview, she says, it was a lot to take in. When a relationship comes into play, it can be a tricky balance. One she’s still learning. She has a long career ahead. The sea’s the limit.   

Malia calls, goodbye, Wellington. The captain says, adios, amigos. In Captain Sandy’s interview, she says, no two charters are the same. This was the most challenging. Without those experiences, you don’t grow. Good times don’t make you a stronger person. You find a way if you want to. She’s proud of her crew, and thankful for the opportunity to work with them. There’s a split screen here, while Captain Sandy is talking, so it’s hard to read all the text under the crew’s photos, but it looks like all of them are working on one kind of yacht or another, except for Aesha, and Hannah, who’s having a baby.

Next time – the Reunion, Part One. Ugh. Something about reunions always brings out the mean in people. I guess because they’re reliving moments they’d forgotten about, and would have rather it stayed that way. This season became excruciating. Somewhat because of Malia. It’s not what she did, but the way she did it. I also think it was like how an actor will get an Oscar for something not as great as their other work, so it’s like a cumulative Oscar. In the opposite way, Hannah had racked up enough demerits, and the captain was already wanting to give her the boot. However, Bugs was a better chief stew. Tom coming along was a coincidence, but I think it was held against Hannah that she didn’t want to change bunks. Despite the chef’s rank, even Captain Lee said it should have been left up to the chief stew. I think Malia was pissed about that, but getting the bunk she wanted wasn’t good enough for her. She made it her business to get Hannah off the boat. Although Hannah produced a prescription later, at the time, it was sketchy, so that was definitely a legit reason to let the captain know, but Malia was messy about it. Even more excruciating were Rob and Jess. Their adolescent antics were ridiculous. They were like two moody middle schoolers, and it was painful to watch. My summary of this less than stellar season.

Tonight’s secret word on Watch What Happens Live was sh*tstain. I wondered how on earth anyone was going to be saying that in the first place, but Aesha was one of the guests. Jess and Bugs were the other two, and that’s how I got the scoop on the Bugs/Alex romance. In one of the episodes, Aesha had called Bugs a sh*tstain, claiming it was a term of endearment. In honor of this statement, Andy had her play a game called Are They a Sh*tstain? The things we do out of boredom.

🌬 The More You Know…

In case you wondered about the Beaufort Wind Scale.

https://www.weather.gov/mfl/beaufort

🏃🏽‍♀️ Gotta Move…

Still editing tomorrow’s article for https://mupoentertainment.com/theresa-krakauskas/ – so if you like entertainment, check out the site. It’s also soon to have a channel on Roku. Until you hear otherwise, stay safe, stay motivated, and stay not acting like a moody middle schooler.