What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

General Hospital

As Doc and Laura put a white rose on Spencer’s grave, and in a voiceover, Alexis asks how they’re expected to say goodbye to Spencer. He was so young. He was so vibrant and good (the latter being a matter of opinion). He had his whole life ahead of him, and she can’t fathom it really. And yet here they are now, all of them, having to pick up and go on without him. She doesn’t want to, and she knows none of them do either. Cyrus places a white rose on the grave, and Alexis says, so she’s been trying to figure out a way to sum up Spencer, aptly describe who he was – Sonny puts a rose with the others – as it turns out, that’s a very difficult task, because Spencer was so many things; he was complex. Ava puts a rose down, and Alexis says, as a young boy, Spencer was bewildering, precocious, precious, and fun. Trina walks to the grave with Portia, and Alexis says, he was mature beyond his years. Spencer had a knack of entertaining and aggravating them all at the same time. Before their eyes, he grew up into this confident, curious young man, magnetic really. Larger than life – Josslyn adds her rose – and he was able to captivate you with his soulfulness and his depth. At the same time, he could make you laugh so hard, you cried. Kristina arrives at the cemetery, and Alexis says, but he grew up to be strong and grounded – Josslyn hugs Trina – and he took responsibility for his choices. She was so intensely proud of him. Cameron places a rose with the others, and Alexis says she knows she’s not alone in saying she’ll miss him every day, but if they can’t hold on to Spencer in the flesh – Cameron hugs Trina – at least they can hold him in their hearts, fiercely, tightly. Alexis puts her rose down, and we hear her say, and maybe in his honor, get up to a little bit of mischief, because she knows that’s what he would have wanted for all of them. We see everyone gathered at the cemetery.

Michael wipes his shirt with a towel and picks up Wiley’s workbook, wondering how Willow makes this look so easy. Willow comes in and asks if he’s having trouble. He says he got Wiley off to school, but he forgot his workbook. He gave Amelia breakfast, and she got it all over his shirt and her hair and her face. She says, his face, and wipes it. He asks what her secret is, and she says, the secret is, there is no secret. Just be here. Have someone capable on call when you can’t be. She’s lucky that way. In a lot of ways actually. Sometimes it feels too easy to forget. He says, on days like today, it’s important to remember.

Trina says she can’t believe this is happening, and Cameron says he’s so sorry. She says she’s sorry for him too, both him and Josslyn. She doesn’t know if she said that. She loved Spencer more than anything, but the three of them had been friends since they were kids. Josslyn says hi to Cameron and asks if she can get one of those. He hugs her, and she says she’s so happy he came. He asks if she thinks he wouldn’t and she says, no. She knows he would. He says he’ll see them at Windymere, and Josslyn says she’ll be there, but Trina says she’s not sure. She doesn’t think she can handle all that. Cameron tells her to take care of herself, and she says she’ll try. He says, if she needs absolutely anything… She says she knows.

Sonny hugs Alexis and says, she was great. She says she feels like it was all a blur, but he says, she was still great. Laura joins them and says, that was a beautiful eulogy. She thanks Alexis, and Alexis says, it was an honor. Laura says, transportation to the launch is ready if they care to go, and she thanks Ava for opening up the house. Ava says, of course (🍷). She’s happy to do it. Laura says she knows a lot of people think Windymere is just a pile of rocks, but to Spencer, it was very special. It was his home for a very long time. Ava says she’ll see them there and goes over to Trina, hugging her. She asks how Trina is doing and Trina says she’s pretty numb right now, but in five minutes she’ll probably be a puddle on the floor. Ava says, that’s grief. She guesses it’s like a roller coaster. There’s so much she wants to say to Trina, but Trina says, Ava doesn’t have to say anything. Ava’s always been there for her, supported her, even when Ava had her doubts about Spencer. Ava says, he certainly proved her wrong. She’s so sorry he’s gone, but she’s here for Trina, and she’ll always be here for Trina. Portia joins them, and Ava asks if they’re coming to Windymere. Portia thanks her for the offer, but she thinks she’s taking Trina home. Ava says she understands and hugs Trina again, saying, remember, she’s just a phone call away. Ava leaves, and Portia says, unless Trina wants to go. She’ll leave that up to her. Trina says she’s tired and suggests they go home.

Elizabeth tells Cameron that it must be surreal, losing his oldest friend, and he says, oldest friend and oldest adversary. Finn says, do tell, and Elizabeth says, the competition between Spencer and Cameron is legendary, all the way back to the two of them fighting over Emma Drake. Cameron says he’s going to miss giving Spencer a hard time, and Elizabeth says she knows. Gregory says, they’re very sorry for his loss, and Finn says, whatever he needs. Cameron thanks them and tells Elizabeth that he’ll see her at home after the reception. She says, Aiden’s been baking all morning, so get ready, and Cameron leaves. Finn asks if they should head out, but Elizabeth says she just has that one thing first. He says, the offer of back-up still stands, and she says, thank you, but she’ll be fine.

Sonny asks if Dante and Sam are going to Windymere, and Dante says they are. Is Sonny? Sonny says, it’s the least he can do for his nephew, and Dante says, see him there.

Laura says she can’t tell Cameron what it does for her soul to see him here. She’s missed him. He says, it’s good to see her too, and she asks if he’s all right. He says he will be eventually, and she says she knows the feeling. The car is ready if Doc is. Doc says he’ll catch up. He needs to take care of something. Laura and Cameron leave.

Finn says, dad? and Gregory says, sorry. He was just thinking. Finn says, he doesn’t have to apologize for that, and Gregory says he wanted to be cremated, but now he doesn’t know. He thinks maybe he wants a spot of his own. The right plot, the right marker, the right words. He wants that for all of them, a place that they can gather and share memories; tell him about all the good times they’re having. Finn says, he doesn’t have to think about that right now, but Gregory says, that’s all he can think about. I think I won’t care what happens after I’m gone, since I won’t be here.

Elizabeth kneels by a grave that has no headstone, just a marker that says, Esme Prince. (Is Doc cheap?) She puts down a white rose and adjusts the sign. Doc joins her and adds another rose.

Finn says he hopes that doesn’t mean Gregory can’t talk about his ALS or what the future will look like. He can. He wants Gregory to… He just meant the burial stuff. They’re not there yet. Gregory says he knows what Finn meant. He’s getting a little cold. He thinks he’ll wait… He gasps for breath, and Finn asks, what’s wrong?

At home, Portia gives Trina a letter from the Sorbonne, and Trina opens it. She says, they’re saying they’ll save a spot for her next semester. Curtis says, that’s decent of them, and Trina says, it is, but there’s no way she’s going back to Paris. Ever. Portia says, she doesn’t have to, and Curtis says, it holds painful memories for her. They get it. Portia says she’s sure PCU can find Trina a different… but Trina says she doesn’t think they understand. Curtis asks her to help them understand, and she says she’s not going to PCU or anywhere else. School is meaningless now. Everything is. (Oh please. Not Trina being like that. I can’t.)

Laura looks through a photo album and says, such wonderful pictures. It’s really thoughtful of Ava. Ava says she can’t take too much credit. She found a cabinet full when she moved out, and Laura says, Nikolas. For all his flaws, he really loved his son. Dante joins them with Sam, and says he feels like it has to be said. He knows Laura called him, but he found no joy in arresting Nikolas. Laura says she knows that, and Sam says, at least they know Ace is being well cared for. Ava says, a silver lining, shall they call it? and Laura says she could really use one of those right now. The doorbell rings, and Ava leaves to answer it. Sam says she still can’t believe it. Spencer. Laura says, it’s like a nightmare she can’t wake up from. Sonny says, that’s why they call it the circle of life, and Alexis says, one life ends, and another begins.

Ava opens the door, and Cyrus is standing there.

Doc says he didn’t think anyone else would here. He didn’t expect to see Elizabeth here. Elizabeth says, it’s difficult, given all the pain she inflicted on Cameron, but she sent that pain right back to Esme, didn’t she? Helping Nikolas hold Esme captive… Did he arrange for the marker? He says, yes. He doesn’t think he’s ever known anyone quite as alone as Esme. When she woke at GH with no memory, no past, she was so frightened. She had no idea how she got there, who she was, and a newborn baby. He felt for her. Elizabeth says, it showed, but he tells her that he’d say his efforts ran short. She says she disagrees. He did his best to make her feel like she had a family. He says, a family she should have run screaming from, but she says, not from him. He says, maybe, but his brother for a father? And don’t get him started on Heather. Speaking of… Heather says, where is she? Where’s her baby? An officer brings her into the cemetery in shackles, and she wails, no, no, no, dropping to her knees in front of the grave. She touches the marker, saying, Esme, and wails some more.

Heather says she tried to warn Esme. She told her to forget about Spencer, get on with her life, bide her time until Heather could help her hold her little boy again. She clutches the marker and says, why? Why Spencer? That guy was never worthy of her. None of those people were. Why couldn’t Esme have listened to her? Why did she go to France? They told her that Spencer threw himself into the river and took her with him. They can’t find her. They said she could have been washed out to sea. She sobs and says, how come? She must be so cold. Elizabeth says she’s so sorry for Heather’s loss. It probably doesn’t mean much coming from her. Heather says, coming from her? and Elizabeth says, Heather probably hates her for helping Nikolas keep Esme prisoner… Heather says, quite the opposite. Elizabeth stopped Nikolas from killing Esme after the baby was born. She came forward and she told the truth, knowing what price she’d have to pay for that. She admires Elizabeth and knows why her Franco loved Elizabeth so much. It’s because of what Elizabeth did that Esme stood a fighting chance in this world. She gets up, looks at Doc, and says, Esme’s dead because of him.

Michael asks if Amelia is good, and Willow says, happily playing with Melanie. Noticing he’s looking at Wiley’s workbook, she asks if he needs help with his homework, and he says he wouldn’t be able to answer half these questions when he was Wiley’s age. She says, there’s an explanation for that. Their son is a genius. He asks what that makes him, and she says, the father of a genius. He says, nice save, and she says, he’s in a rush to get to work. He says, she noticed, and she says, hard not to. Is he still having issues with Drew? He says, they actually managed to patch things up, for the most part, and she asks, what’s the lesser part? He says Drew asked him for help in getting back at Nina. He said no.

Finn helps Gregory sit down and asks if he’s all right. Does he want Finn to call an ambulance? Still trying to catch his breath, Gregory says, no. It’ll pass. Finn says, he doesn’t know that, but Gregory says he just needs a distraction. Talk to him. Finn says, about what? and Gregory says, anything, just to take his mind off of what’s happening. Finn says, what is happening? and gasping, Gregory says, trust him. Would he do that? Finn says he offered to bring the snacks for Violet’s winter party at the school, and with labored breathing, Gregory says, sounds fun. Finn says, for Violet. Not so much for him. His first two attempts at making brownies were a disaster. That oven timer is trickier than people tell you. Elizabeth suggested he have Aiden make the brownies, so now her whole class is clamoring for his famous brownies, but they’re not really his; they’re Aiden’s. He thinks the jig is up. Gregory says, if Aiden was smart, he’d start charging Finn for his time, and Finn says, don’t think he hasn’t mentioned it. Gregory starts to breathe easier, and Finn asks if this has happened before. Gregory nods, and Finn says he wishes Gregory would have told him. Gregory says, Finn had other stuff on his mind, like ensuring he kept his job, saving lives, and Finn says, the life he wants to save most right now is Gregory’s. Is it a loss of sensation, or is it the opposite? Does he feel pain? Gregory says, it’s more like a shortness of breath and a twinge in his chest. It happened the first time not long ago. He laughs and says, Tracy came up with the cure for it. She ticked him off, on purpose, so bad, he forgot all about it. Finn says, that’s pretty on point. He’s glad Tracy was there, but he’s here now, and like it or not, they’re going to the hospital. He gets up, but Gregory says, no. They’re staying right here.

Josslyn and Cameron look at each other. She turns away, but then turns back and puts her head on his shoulder.

Sam says, Dante’s not on duty. He can grieve just like everyone else. He says he’s sorry. It’s not that simple after the latest attempt on his father’s life. She asks if he thinks it was an inside job, and he says, Sonny sure is convinced, and he may be right, but what he doesn’t know is it’s all part of a bigger investigation, centering around a shipment of illegal missing weapons. She says, weapons as in used in other crimes? He doesn’t think Sonny was the only target? He says, it’s looking that way, and now the FBI is involved, the lead investigator being John Cates. She says, Cates? Does that have anything to do with Stone? He says, it’s Stone’s older brother, and guess what? He and Sonny of course (🍷) have a long-standing beef with each other. She says, and he still hasn’t told Sonny yet, has he? So Sonny doesn’t know. In perfect soap timing, Sonny says, Sonny doesn’t know what?

Ava says, Cyrus isn’t welcome here, and he says he came for his sister. Surely, she could understand that. Laura comes out, and Ava says, it’s her call, and tells Cyrus not to call her Shirley. Laura nods, and Ava gestures Cyrus in. He thanks her, but Ava says, don’t thank her and leaves, closing the living room door behind her. Cyrus says he must admit, he wasn’t expecting quite that level of hostility, and Laura asks, how can he expect anything else?

Portia says she knows Trina is hurting right now, but she’s always found serenity and purpose in the classroom. And when she discovered art history… Trina says she gets education is important to Portia, and Portia says, it’s important to Trina. Trina says, but how does that help Spencer? He died saving her life. Curtis says, now is not the time to make any life-altering decisions, and Portia says, Spencer would want her to live her life. Trina says, but what about his life? His future? His purpose? It’s all gone. Spencer is gone and there’s nothing she can do to bring him back. Portia hugs her.

Willow asks why Michael refused to go along with Drew’s plan, and Michael says, while Drew has every right to go after Nina, he has other priorities. Willow says, be honest. He must have been tempted. He says he was, but then he thought about her and the kids. This family’s more important to him than anything. He’s not going to risk that again. Willow thanks him, not only for saying that, but for backing it up with his actions. It means a lot. He says, there’s more, isn’t there? Whatever it is, just say it. She says, it’s not just the people under this roof that need healing. He and his father need it too.

Laura says, Cyrus has hurt a lot of people. He’s committed a lot of crimes. How does he not realize that when people see him, they still see… He says, a monster? And what about her? Is that how she sees him too?

Dante tells Sonny that, it’s not just the PCPD trying to figure out who’s targeting him. Jordan and Anna are also looking into it. Sonny asks if they’re making progress… What is Dante not telling him?

Heather says her daughter might still be alive if it wasn’t for Doc, but Elizabeth says, that’s not fair. Doc tried to help Esme, as her therapist, but more importantly as her uncle. Heather says, right. She forgot. The dutiful uncle. So loyal to his psycho brother, while she did everything in the world she possibly could to keep her baby from knowing him. Elizabeth says, she can’t blame Doc for Ryan’s crimes, but Doc says, it’s all right. Let her say her piece. Heather thanks him and says, he thought he could save Ryan, didn’t he. Ha-ha. What a God complex. So convinced he could cure what ailed Ryan, he did the exact opposite. He nursed Ryan back to full strength, then unleashed him on the world again. She did everything she could to shield her daughter from that maniac, then Doc went ahead and brought Ryan back out in the world. They call her a criminal. Ha! It’s good people like him who destroy lives.

Elizabeth says, that’s Heather’s grief talking. Doc is not responsible for what his brother did or for what happened to Esme or Spencer. Heather says, Elizabeth has such a good heart, like her sweet Franco did and Elizabeth’s boys do. She’s always determined to see the best in everyone, isn’t she? But Doc knows better, doesn’t he? Come on, admit it. Every single word she just said here just now is true. The guard says, visitation time’s up, but Heather says she just needs a few more minutes, one last thing that she has to say, because her daughter can’t.

Michael says he should probably get to the office, and Willow says, now he’s in a hurry to get to work. One mention of his father is all it takes, huh? He tells her that he doesn’t know what to say, and she says, he can’t avoid Sonny forever, and it’s not like this is the first conflict they’ve had. Michael says, that’s an understatement, and she says, they’ve patched things up before. They’ll do it again. He says, last time, it took over a year to reconcile, and she says, but when it finally happened, he and Sonny were getting along great. Michael even went to the island for his wedding. He says, they had a nice time, but that was before everything blew up. He hasn’t seen or talked to his father since his grandmother’s funeral. She says, there are hurdles to clear, and he says, big hurdles. She says, then clear them. He didn’t give up on them. Don’t give up on his father. He sighs and leaves for work.

Dante says, Sonny knows the drill. He can’t tell Sonny about an ongoing investigation, but when there’s something to tell Sonny, he’ll let him know. Sonny says he has some unfinished business back at the office anyway, so he’s going to take care of it. He’ll see Dante later. Dante tells him, be safe, and Sonny says he’s on it. Sonny thanks Ava for hosting. He knows her relationship with Spencer was complicated. She says her relationship with everybody is complicated, and he says he has security for her here, so when she’s ready to leave… She says, straight back to his place, and he says he’ll see her at home. He leaves, and Dante asks if Sam thinks he messed up. She says, no. She actually thinks it’s a good thing he didn’t tell his dad about the FBI investigation. Dante says he doesn’t know if Sonny will see it that way.

Cameron asks if Josslyn remembers what a pain in the ass Spencer was, and she asks if he means in general. He says he was thinking more about when Spencer was younger, and she says, insufferable. He says, the ego on that guy, and she says, eventually, it became tolerable, and then loveable. She thinks a lot of that had to do with Cameron. Spencer really looked up to him. Cameron says, get out of here. He had everything. She says, he didn’t have a stable home and he didn’t have a lot of friends. People were naturally drawn to Cameron. It wasn’t like that for Spencer; he had to work on that. But he had a really good example in Cameron.

Gregory tells Finn to wait for Elizabeth. He’s going to call a Ride Share and go home. Finn says he thought the goal was to stick around for a while, make Chase and Brook’s wedding, and Gregory says, Finn knows it is. Finn says, then why did Gregory hide symptoms from him? but Gregory says he didn’t. Finn says, Gregory didn’t tell him either. Maybe there’s something they can do, or maybe there’s some protocol, or physical therapy. Gregory says, there’s nothing. It’s just the way this disease goes. It eats away at you, little by little. Sometimes a lot by a lot. Finn says he thought Gregory wanted his help. What’s the point in having a medical license if he can’t do something to help his own father? Gregory says, Finn doesn’t want to help him, but Finn says, of course (🍷) he does. Gregory says, Finn wants to save him, and he loves Finn for it, but Finn can’t save him. No one can. Finn asks what he can do, and Gregory says, they can have an honest, loving relationship where they don’t walk on eggshells. Finn says, where they don’t hide things from one another, and Gregory says, where they just are, father and son. Can they stand here on this sacred ground and give that to each other? Finn says, yeah, they can, and they hug.

Heather wonders what’s going to happen to her grandson, now that her daughter’s not around to protect him, and Doc says, Ace will be well taken care of. She has his word. She says, yeah, right. Just like he took care of Esme? He says, Laura loves her grandson. She can trust that he’s in good hands. She tells Elizabeth, please. She’s depending on her. Keep an eye on them. She tells Doc, do better by her grandson than he did by her daughter, or there will be hell to pay. She says she’s ready… Hold on. She tosses a rose off the grave, kisses the marker, and leaves with the guard.

Willow sits in semi-darkness, looking at family photos on her tablet.

Cyrus asks if he can escort Laura home, and she says she has a driver, but thanks him. He says, in that case, he’ll say goodbye and hope this sad occasion can be a new beginning for them. He thinks Spencer would want it that way. She says, would he? and Cyrus says he’s not the enemy. He’s her brother who cares about her and wants to do right by her. He’s confident she’ll see that one day. He leaves.

On the phone, Sonny asks what Brick has for him… Uh-huh. Let him know, because he wants to know who the traitor is. So he can be dealt with permanently.

Finn asks how it went, and Elizabeth says, it was interesting. She’ll tell him about it on the way home. Did his dad leave? He says his dad’s waiting in the car, and she asks, what’s wrong? He says he knows what’s ahead of them with ALS, at least his head does, and she says, but his heart is having a hard time catching up. He says he sees his dad struggle and it’s getting worse, and she asks if something happened. Finn says, he’s okay. It’s just… She takes his hand and says she knows. She’s sorry. He says, his dad is a hardboiled guy. He values his independence so much, but he thinks they have to face the facts. His father won’t be able to look after himself much longer.

Josslyn thanks Ava so much, and Ava says, she’s welcome. Josslyn and Cameron leave, and outside, Josslyn says she wishes they could have seen each other under less horrible circumstances. He says, him too, but he’s glad they did. How are she and Dex? She says, they’re fine. He makes her happy. Cameron says, good. That’s all he wants for anyone anymore. For the people he loves to be happy. She says, it’s a real shame they didn’t get that with Spencer.

Trina puts on her coat, and Curtis asks where she’s going. She says she’s just going to take a walk by the lake, and Portia asks if she wants some company. Trina says she won’t be long, and goes outside. She takes the turtle dove out of her pocket and remembers Spencer giving it to her. She closes her hand over it.

Drew tells Willow that it’s never going to happen again; John wants to know what information Anna and Jordan went to jail to hide from him; Finn tells Chase that he thinks it’s time for their dad to stop living on his own; and Michael hopes Sonny can forgive him.

💭 Thoughts… I’m not loving this Spencer is dead storyline. Mainly because we all know he’s coming back. Perhaps GH should have kept that fact under their hat. It’s like the reverse of everyone pretending Bobbie was alive for the good part of a year when Jaqueline Zeman passed away. It just feels weird.

The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills

Still inflicting themselves on Barcelona, Sutton tells Kyle that she lost her dad’s ashes because she moved so many times. As much as I like Sutton, I can’t imagine losing something like that in a move. Sutton cries and says she feels like she’s scattering the ashes of her marriage too. Kyle says she gets that. It’s symbolic of a big part of Sutton’s life. Sutton says she’s been angry for so long, maybe what’s inside needs to come out, and they hug. Trevor arrives, and Sutton says, they’re on a strict timeline. She and Travor put Merce’s ashes in a box, spilling some on the table. In Sutton’s interview, she says she’s realizing it’s not just Merce, but two decades of her life that she needs to let go of. It’s time to release everything, stand on her own, and be alone. It’s completely scary, but she’s strong and can do it. Trevor tells the women that his friends were happy to meet them, and Garcelle says, even Erika? We flash back to Merce is in the purse, and Trevor says, especially Erika. They get in a fancy little bus and talk about gay sex terms.

Sitges, Spain. Sutton tells Trevor not to drop Merce. He’s not in a Ziploc anymore. She tells Garcelle and Kyle, no shopping, and in her interview, Sutton says she’s prepping mentally and emotionally for the ceremony. They go to a cliff on the beach, and Sutton thanks them for putting up with her. She’s been emotional about her dad, but it’s been 20 years, and she has to release that. We flash back to her telling Dorit that her father’s suicide was tough, and they never addressed it as a family. She says she’s releasing the pain from her marriage. We flash back to Garcelle saying, Sutton gave up her power, and in Sutton’s interview, she says, at the end of their marriage, Christian called her and said she needed to get an attorney because she’d be receiving papers. She didn’t understand and she was scared, lost in the middle of nowhere by herself. Sutton tells the women that they all have things they’re holding on to, and she wants them to do this for her, even though it’s hard. In Kyle’s interview, she says she thinks the pain of Sutton’s divorce was more than she imagined, and in Garcelle’s interview, she says, Sutton has always had anger about Christian and it’s good to see her let it go. She can relate. Sutton says she’s letting all three go, and in her interview, she says, it’s so silly that she gets sad about her divorce. Christian, her dad, and Merce were three very important men in her life, and she’s about to say goodbye to all three.

Sutton and Trevor toss the ashes, and they blow back, just like with Sonja’s dog on RHONY. The women dust themselves off, and in Kyle’s interview, she says, it’s blowing in her face, her hair, and her mouth. In Garcelle’s interview, she says, it’s all over her black dress and hair, and in Erika’s interview, she says she doesn’t know this man and doesn’t want to taste this man. They say goodbye to Trevor and continue with the ritual. As each woman says what she wants to let go of, they toss their leis into the water. Garcelle says she’d like to let go of feeling alone. She has a lot of abandonment issues. She thinks not having her dad in her life contributes to how she leads her life. In her interview, Garcelle says, her dad left when she was 3, and didn’t come back in her life until she was 14. She was betrayed by the man of her dreams, and it led her to being protective of her heart. If she has to be alone, she can do that, but it doesn’t mean she doesn’t feel lonely. Crystal says, her brother is leaving. He’s moving away, probably forever. We flash back to Jeffrey saying he’s going to relocate to Thailand, and in Crystal’s interview, she says she knows he has to get away from her and their mother for a while and start his own life. She knows that’s what he needs. Annemarie (ugh) says she has a very confident exterior, but needs to do a lot of work to feel that she’s in a peaceful place. She wants to be happy. Dorit says, this is no guarantee she’s leaving the PTSD she lives with behind, but she’s going to try. We flash back to PK being an a-hole, and in Dorit’s interview, she says, maybe if she lets go of some expectations with PK, she can find release and start to heal all areas of her life. Erika says, this represents all the hurt from the last 2½ years, some of which they contributed to. She’s turned a new page, and is releasing her hurt, anger, and her old life. In her interview, Garcelle says, if they caused Erika pain, it’s because they were showing her a mirror when they felt she wasn’t compassionate. We flash back to the victims/earrings stuff, and Garcelle says, it’s a little awkward. Kyle says she wants to let go of the guilt of thinking she could have done something different with and for Lorene, with her sisters, and the group. She’s letting go of any of the things she’s held onto that hurt her. In Kyle’s interview, she says, it feels strange not be sharing what’s really weighing on her. She doesn’t know if her marriage is going to survive. When she’s ready, she’ll share. She wants to let go of the uncertainty in not having the answers to what the future holds. There’s a group hug, and Kyle thinks seeing them vulnerable and sharing these moments shows they came a long way.

They walk around, and Crystal says she’s sorry she contributed to Erika’s pain. Erika says, it’s okay. Sh*t happens. That’s how you recover. In Erika’s interview, she says she loves someone taking a chance and saying they’re sorry they misjudged her. No one else has. At least Crystal has the balls. In Sutton’s interview, she says, Merce didn’t get on her, instead, he blew over her. He was known for his great leaps, so it was good. She tells the women that tour guide Manolo is walking them to their flamenco dinner where they’re going to perform their dance. In her interview, she says, it’s not ballet, but it’s good choreography. It’s sexy. They’re taking it slow because these ladies are not dancers, except for Erika. We see a clip of them at their lesson.

Everyone gets ready, and in Erika’s interview, she says, it bothers her that she didn’t get apologies. You go to therapy to acknowledge your feelings, but wanting someone else to acknowledge how you feel isn’t going to happen, so maybe she should stop looking for it.  Kyle calls home and talks to her daughters. In her interview, she says, she feels like they’re going through a hard time, and she’s sensitive to how everyone in her family is feeling. She worries and feels like everyone is more fragile. All the women are dressed in red, except for Kyle, who’s leaning toward orange, and Sutton says she’ll photoshop it. In Dorit’s interview, she says she knows Kyle didn’t get the memo on dressing in red, but considering her other choices, thank goodness she wore orange. Dorit navigates getting to the bus in her heels, and in her interview, she says she’s spent so much time in Europe, you’d think she’d know how to walk on cobblestone in heels. At least she’ll trip in style. On the bus, they talk about signing any document their husbands put in front of them without looking at it. In Sutton’s interview, she says, Marriage 101: don’t sign a document without reading it. She doesn’t care if you marry the Pope. Kyle says she signs stuff and hopes for the best, and in Erika’s interview, she says, that’s how she got in trouble. It’s okay to trust your husband until it’s not okay to trust your husband.

Manolo serenades the women as they go into the restaurant, and In Kyle’s interview, she says she doesn’t want to perform. She doesn’t know the dance and doesn’t drink anymore. We flash back to her doing the splits on several occasions. Manolo makes a toast in Spanish, and Annemarie asks about everyone’s favorite part of the trip. Crystal says, watching Storm’s father make paella, and Kyle says, today they had honest, real moment. It was an emotional, but good moment. Erika says, it’s been a long time since she felt relaxed and good on a trip. The trip to Aspen last year was horrible. We flash back to the women saying she should show compassion for the victims, and Erika saying she doesn’t give a f*** about anyone but herself. Erika says, they’re not going home Pollyanna, but for her it’s more positive than it’s been in a long time. Annemarie says she doesn’t know the histories in the group, so it seemed cryptic to her when Erika said she was letting some things go despite what anybody had to say. She felt many of them contributed to her pain. What did she mean?

Erika says she felt mischaracterized and misunderstood. The appeal was reversed, but those things will always hurt. Garcelle says, when they were at the retreat, Erika told them that she wasn’t sure if she trusted the group, but Erika says she feels more relaxed now. Trust is earned over time, and she’s taking it step by step. In her interview, Garcelle says she sees how deeply Erika was affected by them. Although they were just asking questions, and thought Erika understood they wanted to see her side, but also wanted her to show compassion and empathy. They could have just moved on. Sutton makes a toast to Erika, and says, even though some of them didn’t receive a door invitation to Erika’s show – we see a clip of Kyle getting an invite like she won Publisher’s Clearing House – she wants to congratulate Erika on her residency. She knows it’s a big deal. They’re proud of her and they’ll all be there. In her interview, Sutton says, in elementary school, her mother made her invite the entire class to her birthday party. Erika says she remembers their support when she was on Broadway, and Sutton chartered a plane. We flash back to that, and Sutton tells her that she’s just saying she could have gotten an invite. (After chartering the jet? Yes, she should have. Maybe Erika should think about acknowledging other people’s feelings instead of being so concerned about her own.) They watch some dancing, and in Kyle’s interview, she says she’s nervous and embarrassed. There are professional performers up there. Nobody wants to see them; they want to see the professionals. Dorit says she doesn’t know if she can do it in her dress and shoes, but Erika tells her, stomp that sh*t out. The MC announces that they have VIP guests, and the women get up on stage. In Sutton’s interview, she says, it’s been emotional, but at the end of the day, she loves them. She wants them to stay happy like this forever. They’re laughing and having fun and sharing things they’ve never shared before. Getting through problems individually and as a group is so good. Friends become family, and this is her family, and she loves it. They do a few hand moves, and stamp their feet, and there’s applause. It wasn’t really dancing, but okay.

The women are back in Beverly Hills and back to routine. Dorit pops by (her words) Kyle’s house and asks how she and Mauricio are doing. Kyle says, good. She was seeing a therapist, and now Mauricio joined in. Dorit asks how it’s going, but Kyle says she doesn’t know. In Dorit’s interview, she says, lately, one of her best friends is as disconnected as possible. She wants to be there for Kyle. She wants Kyle to know she supports her. Kyle says, she and Mauricio never fight, but on the bad side, they’re not communicating. They’d rather not deal. We flash back to the mom/tattoo sort of argument, and Kyle says she’s more the one who has a fiery side, and Mauricio wants to be stoned peaceful. Add in traveling and their work schedules… Dorit says, traveling took a toll on her and PK, and in Kyle’s interview, she says she thinks Mauricio believes if he gives her time, she’ll get over it, but they need help. She tells Dorit that the agency is expanding and it’s like his child. He takes his energy to fix the agency’s problems, so why can he give the energy he gives to the company to them? In her interview, she says she’s supported Mauricio through everything from day one, when he had nothing, When she said they were in trouble and she needed him to work through it with her, she needed to feel it was a priority. If Mauricio puts no effort into them, they’re not going to end up together. They’ll never survive this.  

Next time, Sutton goes on date number two with Steve; Dorit wants PK home for Mother’s Day, but PK tells her that she’s not his mother; and Erika dabs at her eyes and says, it never had to be this way.

📺 Tortured By Reality TV Society…

Join me tomorrow for soap and a more relaxed atmosphere. Until then, stay safe, stay not clicking your fingers for the waitstaff, and stay never signing a document without reading it, even if it’s given to you by the Pope.