What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

General Hospital

Someone falls down a flight of stairs.

7 hours earlier. Carly walks into a hotel room with Gladys, and says, it’s simple. They’re going to go over what Gladys is going to say to the police with Carly’s lawyer. Gladys asks why Carly and her security are hovering over her. Is Carly afraid she’s going to run off or something? Carly says, exactly, but Gladys can’t afford to run. They need to put Cyrus behind bars before he finds out Brando is the father of Sasha’s baby.

At the hospital, Cyrus says he has a meeting shortly, and wants Brando to meet with HRS; they’re setting up interviews for the Chief of Staff position. Brando asks if he’s heard something about Britt, and Cyrus says Britt ran off with Jason, aided and abetted the escape of a known felon, and a suspected murderer. Whatever happens next, she won’t be returning to GH. Cyrus leaves, and Sasha comes out of the elevator. Brando asks if everything is okay with the baby, and she asks what he’s doing there. He can’t be there. 

Spinelli arrives at Maxie’s apartment, and she hugs him. He says, his sincere condolences on the loss of her godfather. She thanks him, and says she appreciates him and Ellie taking James for a few nights. She hates to be away from James, but she knows he’s in good hands. Spinelli says, Georgie is always excited to have her little brother visit, and they’re happy that Maxie is availing herself of some much needed rest and relaxation. It’s well-deserved. He imagines once the baby is born, it will be a while before she sleeps through the night. He imagines she’ll have her hands full with James and little Louise. Every moment a miracle. Maxie turns away from him.

Britt sits cross-legged by a waterfall, when Jason comes along. He says, Britt, and she tells him, shh. She’s becoming one with nature. He sits on a bench, and she asks what he’s doing. He says, nothing, but she says he’s being distracting. He asks if she wants to be alone, but she says, no. She was hoping the sound of the water would drown out her thoughts. It’s not working. She’s thinking about the test results.

Sonny and Nina walk into the Tan-O, and Sonny says he’s surprised the door is locked in the afternoon. Nina says there’s a note, and Sonny reads that Phyllis and Lenny are picking up a part for the jukebox, and will be back by five. Nina says she’s glad they told Lenny and Phyllis that they were on the road, and on their way back, but telling them what they’ve been up to is another thing altogether. Sonny says, they’ll understand when he and Nina tell them about their friend Elijah, but she says, they’re so sweet, and kind, and generous. She dreads telling them that Eli betrayed their trust. Sonny says, it will hurt, but they need to know the truth. The sooner Eli is behind bars, the better.

Spinelli says, a thousand apologies; he didn’t mean to make Maxie cry. She says, it’s nothing, just hormones, and he asks if Peter has done something to make her reconsider giving him a second chance. She says, they agreed not to discuss it, and he says, if he’s made her upset… She says she’s just taking Sean’s death hard. It made her realize how time is passing. A person she admired and looked up to as a little girl is gone from the world, and it makes her sad. People leave even if you want them to stay. See? She’s rambling and emotional; it’s hormones. It’s why she needs the spa get away. Spinelli says, it’s more than hormones. Georgie said she sounds sad when she talks about the baby. She says she doesn’t want Georgie to worry, and he says their daughter is perceptive. He spent years learning the fine art of reading it. He knows what’s going on.

Sasha says she and Brando shouldn’t be seen talking. If Cyrus sees them together, it will only add to his suspicion that Brando is the father of her baby. He says, Cyrus is in his office; he has a meeting. Can’t they talk for five minutes? She says, okay, but not here. They leave for somewhere more private, and Peter sees them. Because not one character on this show has an actual job except Diane.

Carly introduces Diane to Gladys, and Gladys says, Sonny’s lawyer. Carly says, her lawyer, and Gladys says, how could she forget? Carly is in charge of everything these days. Pretty soon she’s going to make everyone curtsey like she’s the Queen of England. Carly says she’ll settle for full disclosure from Gladys, and Diane says, Carly filled her in on the situation. They’re going to go over what Gladys is going to say to the police. Gladys says, no so fast. She’ll do what she can to protect her son and grandchild, but she needs to be practical. She could be accused of committing a crime. Diane says, of course (🍷). She knows perjury and obstruction of justice are both criminal acts, which Gladys committed when she lied in her statement to the police. Gladys says, then she wants to make sure she’s not prosecuted. Diane is supposed to be some fancy, hotshot lawyer. She needs Diane to make some kind of deal to make sure her interests are protected. Diane says, she thinks the DA would be open to negotiation because Cyrus is a big get, and it was Glady’s testimony that linked him to her perjury and obstruction of justice. Cyrus’s conviction is going to generate a lot of publicity, and anyone who had a hand in it will be a hero. Gladys says she never dreamed she’d be famous. Do they think the talk shows will put her on as a guest? She’d love to be interviewed by Joy Behar… Carly says, the only person Gladys is going to be talking to is a coroner, when she’s called to identify Brando’s body, so focus and cooperate with Diane. Gladys says Carly doesn’t have to put it like that, and Diane says, Joy Behar is definitely going to want to interview Gladys; absolutely. That’s why it’s so important that Diane review what Gladys is going to say when she recants her story to the police. Gladys says she’ll just say she made a mistake, but Carly says, it wasn’t a mistake. She has to implicate Cyrus to keep Brando safe. Gladys says, okay. Cyrus paid her to say she saw Jason throwing the gun down the garbage shoot, but it was a lie. Carly says, then Gladys is going to tell them who she really saw – Peter August.

Britt tells Jason, the test results are going to change her life, no matter what they say. If they’re negative, the fear she’s carried for the past five years will be lifted. It will be paradise, like a dream come true, but she’s afraid to hope for it, in case it’s the other outcome. Jason sits next to her, and says, then she’d just deal with it. She says she’d have to; she’d have no choice. Right now, she just wants to enjoy the last few hours of ignorance. She tried meditating, and got nowhere. Does he have any tips on reaching serenity? He says he wouldn’t know. He doesn’t know how to meditate. She says, meditation is seeking clarity and being fully in the moment. From what she sees, that’s where he lives. She wishes she could join him there.

Cyrus’s phone rings, and he says, send him in. Peter says Cyrus summoned him? and Cyrus says, yes, pal. He’d like a small favor.

Sonny says he doesn’t like the idea of hurting Lenny and Phyllis either, especially Phyllis, but she has to know the Eli she rescued years ago isn’t the same man. He might have taken a wrong turn, but Sonny doesn’t care. He wants Eli out of their lives. Nina says he’s absolutely right. Despite the disappointment, they’re better off knowing. She just wishes they could give the police the evidence they found in Eli’s office, but considering how they got it… Her phone rings, and she says, it’s Eli. Sonny tells her not to answer, but she does, asking, what’s up?… Yes, she remembers him telling her about it. Why?… It’s today? What time?… She’s not sure… On second thought, it sounds like fun. She could change and meet him… Okay. She looks forward to seeing him too. She hangs up, and Sonny says, what the hell was that?

In the stairwell, Brando asks if Sasha is there for the baby. Is everything okay? She says she’s getting her medical records transferred to Mercy. She knows an OB/GYN there. Maybe she’s paranoid, but she doesn’t want Cyrus to be able to access to anything about her. Brando doesn’t think it’s paranoid; he thinks it’s smart. He asks if Cyrus said anything to her after he left, and she says, a lot of self-serving garbage about how he wanted to talk to the baby’s father on her behalf. Cyrus implied it was Brando, but she told him it was a one-night stand. He asks if she thinks Cyrus believed her, and she says she’s not sure he’s convinced, but she thinks she established reasonable doubt. He says he has to give her credit for taking the reins on this, and she says, it’s called crisis management; getting ahead of the story. Something she learned at Deception. He says she has guts, the way she stands up for herself, and she says she’s done it her whole life. He says, the way she stood up for him, don’t think he won’t do the same for her. She says, he already has.

Peter says Cyrus called because he thinks Peter owes him. Let’s just be clear. Framing Jason benefited them both. Cyrus says, Peter more than him, but Peter says, yet he’s sure Cyrus appreciates Jason being out of the way. Too bad he can’t capitalize on the opportunity. Cyrus isn’t sure he follows, and Peter asks if he doesn’t have some kind of power behind the scenes at Pentenville. Why doesn’t he just take care of Jason while he’s there, or better yet, at GH. With a little ingenuity, he could have arranged for a  tragic medical error to take place. Cyrus says, how remiss of him not to think of it, and Peter asks if he has any leads on where Jason and his sister are. Cyrus says he’s sure they’re in Canada by now, and Peter says, good. He prefers Jason as far away from Port Charles as possible. Cyrus says he’d prefer Jason dead, and Peter says, that would work too. What can he do for Cyrus? Cyrus says, it would be nice if The Invader exposed the true natures of Carly and Laura. Peter says, in what way? and Cyrus says, Carly declared herself the head of the Corinthos organization, and the honorable Mayor Collins is working with her. Peter asks if Cyrus knows this for a fact, and Cyrus says, the facts are Peter’s department, but he thinks the world should know Carly and Laura’s public personas are pure hypocrisy. They consider themselves above the law, and it’s about time they got their reputations dragged through the mud like they tried to do with his.

Gladys tells Diane, she’ll be saying Jason didn’t do it. He’ll be off the hook. Isn’t that what they want? Diane says, if Gladys wants immunity, she can’t hold back anything, and Gladys says, she’ll tell them that she made the whole thing up, and didn’t see anyone. Carly says, Gladys is protecting Peter now? Is Peter paying her too? Gladys says, no, and Diane says, her testimony led the police to the murder weapon. Obviously, she saw something. Does she want the police investigating her? Gladys says, she’ll tell them everything, but only if she gets immunity, and Diane says, that’s the plan. Robert is out of town, so she’ll be dealing with his ADA and Commissioner Ashford. It’s imperative that Gladys stay out of sight. Diane will call her when it’s time to talk to the authorities. Diane leaves, and Carly says Gladys is doing the right thing. Gladys says Carly seems surprised. Carly really doesn’t think much of her, does she?

Britt tells Jason, it’s beautiful here. It reminds her of camping in Germany. He says, camping? She said in the barn… She says, don’t misunderstand. She’s in no way attracted to roughing it. She prefers all the amenities within easy hiking distance, but she enjoys the forest. It’s full of life, but still peaceful. He says he gets it. He likes to get on his motorcycle, and just ride. When he’s on a dirt road in the middle of nowhere, he’ll park it, and go for a hike in the trees. No plan, no destination, no sound; just the wind. He can feel himself breathe. She says, exactly.

Sonny says, no way in hell is Nina going to Eli’s apartment, but Nina says, it’s not his apartment. It’s a barbecue, and she’s meeting him there. He asks why she said yes ,and she says, it’s a perfect opportunity. The stuff they got from his office, what if there’s more in his house? They can find it, and the police can use it as evidence. Um… I don’t think it works that way when you don’t have a search warrant. She’ll go to the barbecue, and he’ll search Eli’s house. Sonny says they never talked about it. He doesn’t know the layout, and doesn’t have a plan. She says she’s certain he’s more than capable of improvising, and it’s for a worthy cause. Think about how Elijah and his associates ruined all these lives, the family businesses lost, and the small towns gutted to make rich men richer. They want to stop Eli before he does more damage. Sonny says he agrees with everything she said, except the part where she’s a decoy. She says she’s sorry. They can do this. They make a great team. He says he agrees, but this is not happening.

Maxie tells Spinelli, she guesses the high risk pregnancy has been hard on her, but it’s almost over. Spinelli says, coupled with remembrances on how James was born on the side of the road, it must bring up traumatic feelings. Now with Britt missing, Maxie has lost a vital part of her support system. He assumes she was going to deliver the baby. Maxie says, having Britt was a comfort, and Spinelli says, Maxie is afraid of losing the baby, isn’t she? She starts to cry, and says she is, and it’s breaking her heart.

Sonny tells Nina to say she can’t make it, and she says, excuse me? She doesn’t take orders from him. He says she gave him an order to break into Eli’s house; it’s too dangerous. She says, it’s a barbecue. They’ll be in the open, surrounded by people, but he says she doesn’t know how safe she’ll be. Eli has already shown he’s capable of hurting people to get what he wants. She says, he has other people do his dirty work; he’s not violent himself. Sonny says, he’s capable of it, but Nina says Eli likes her. He believes she’s buying his act, and doesn’t know they broke into his office. He asks, why take more risks? They’re not going to be able to get Eli arrested, but they can finish him in Nixon Falls. Once they tell Lenny and Phyllis what they discovered, it’s over. Why risk trying to get more? It’s ridiculous what she’s saying. She says she gets it. The minute she feels like something is off, she’ll make an excuse and leave. She’ll call him right away. He says, it’s too risky, and they don’t know where Eli lives. Her phone dings, and she says she does; he just texted the address. Sonny says, how nice, and the Tan-O phone rings. Sonny answers, and says, all right. He says, damn, and tells Nina, there’s a delivery, and he needs to open the door, but they’re not done with this conversation.

Brando says, before Cyrus showed up yesterday, he and Sasha were getting into some important things about the baby, and them. No pressure, but he wants to talk more. She says, absolutely. She’d never shut him out, but to be clear, it was her decision to keep the baby, and it’s her responsibility. She doesn’t want to pressure him. He says he doesn’t feel pressure. He feels like he has the chance at something amazing. Something he never expected or knew he wanted, but now that it’s here, he wants to be part of his child’s life – and hers.

Peter tells Cyrus, he’ll put one of his top reporters on Carly’s tail. They’ll work the madam mob boss angle. Cyrus says, that sounds like a winning headline, but don’t forget the corruption in the mayor’s office. Laura is looking the other way, passively condoning organized crime, just like she did with Sonny. Cyrus’s phone rings, and he says, yes?.. When?… Keep him posted. Peter says, bad news? and Cyrus says it was his source at the courthouse. It seems Diane is working out an immunity deal for Gladys. Peter says, Gladys is talking to law enforcement? She must have changed her testimony. Cyrus told him she was solid. Cyrus says, she was. She’s a greedy narcissist. She resents Sonny, and resents Carly even more. That’s why she was thrilled when he took Brando into his organization. She’s an easy mark; he’s worked her before. He doesn’t know what incited her to flip. He has to find Brando to convince her to do otherwise. Peter says he just saw Brando getting chummy with Sasha.

Britt asks Jason what time it is, and he says, about 5. She asks if they shouldn’t have called with the results by now. She starts to pace, and asks who she’s kidding. This talk of stillness and being in the moment; she can’t handle this. Jason takes her hands and tells her, it’s all right. Just calm down. He suggests she try something, and she says, what? Twenty questions? Is it bigger than a breadbox? He says, the more she talks the less she hears. She’s always thinking about what she’s saying; she’s not listening to what’s going on around her. Close your eyes. She says she can do that, and he asks what she hears. She says, water… wind, and trees… birds. She laughs, and he asks what she feels. She says, the breeze on her face, and he tells her, focus on that. She says, it’s no use. The darkness is closing in on her. He says, keep your eyes open. There’s no darkness there. It’s beautiful, calm, peaceful. The thing she’s worried about hasn’t happened, and might not. Right now in the moment, she’s good. She smiles and says she is. Thanks.

Maxie tells Spinelli that she keeps thinking she’s not going to hold her newborn baby in her arms. After all these months of hope and anticipation, Louise will just be gone. He tells her not to let her fear run away with her. If Britt is unavailable, GH has amazing doctors. They’ll bring her baby girl into the world safe and sound. She says, but what if they can’t? What if she has to say goodbye to her baby girl before she even says hello?   

Sonny sees that Nina is gone, and says, dammit.

Britt and Jason almost kiss, when Britt’s phone dings. She says, it must be the clinic. No one else has the number. He looks at the phone, and says, the test results are in. She says, okay. Time to face the music… Thank you.

Carly says Gladys hasn’t done much to endear herself to her. Gladys says if she’s been testy in the past, it’s because she wanted Sonny – God rest – to treat Brando like a full member of the family. So of course (🍷) when Brando was hired by Cyrus, she was thrilled. He had the opportunity for advancement he never had with Sonny. Carly says Gladys made sure that would happen by telling Cyrus about Dev. Because she wanted to endear herself, but all she did was give Cyrus leverage over all of them, including Brando. Gladys says she knows Cyrus is a powerful man. She has sense enough to be afraid of him, which is why doing what Carly is asking terrifies her. Carly asks if Diane wasn’t clear. Did Gladys not understand what she said? The only way to keep her and Brando safe is to make sure Cyrus goes to prison. And yes, Cyrus has a laundry list of crimes he’s committed, but the only ones they can prove are perjury and obstruction, and only Gladys can speak to those crimes. And yeah, Jason is going to be exonerated, but she doesn’t think for a minute Gladys cares about doing the right thing; she only cares about saving her own skin, so that’s exactly why she should do this. To make sure Cyrus is no longer a threat. Gladys says she gets it. She’s going to do what needs to be done, and yeah, she’s doing it for herself, but she’s also doing it because she loves her son, and she loves her grandchild too. Carly says she hopes so, because their future depends on her. Carly’s phone rings, and she asks, what’s going on?… Okay. Isn’t Olivia around?… She’ll be right down. She tells Gladys, she has to go downstairs and take care of a situation with a guest. After she hears from Diane, she’ll be back to take Gladys to the PCPD. Gladys salutes, and Carly leaves. Carly tells the guard she needs him to keep an eye on things for a moment. Ms. Corbin is going to stay in this room. If she gives him any trouble, call her.

Gladys orders filet mignon with mushrooms on the side. Mrs. Corinthos will be taking care of the bill.

Maxie tells Spinelli, she prays for a safe and smooth delivery, because she can’t wait to meet her little girl. But what happens after she’s born? What if Maxie can’t protect her anymore? Right now, she’s safe with Maxie, but when she’s out in the world, Maxie is going to have to let her go. It’s killing her. Spinelli says they all have to let their children go, but it happens slowly, over time. She did it with Georgie and James; she’ll do fine with Louise. He thought she was worried about complications during childbirth, but fear not. Once Louise is born, and Maxie sees she’s fine, she’ll stop worrying.

Sasha says she and Brando can’t exactly be part of each other’s lives if they’re hiding the fact that he’s the baby’s father. He says he’ll think of something; he’s pretty resourceful. And motivated. She says she knows, and he says he likes her. She says she knows that too. That’s why she’s pregnant. He says, it’s not about the sex, although he very much enjoyed it. Her being drop-dead gorgeous doesn’t hurt either, but he feels a deeper connection. He thinks they can really have something together. She says she feels it too, and he asks if she’s willing to see where this goes. She says she doesn’t know how they can, as long as Cyrus is around. He says, Cyrus can go to hell.

Cyrus says Peter saw Brando with Sasha? What makes him think they were getting chummy? Peter says, they were stepping into the stairwell like they wanted to steal some one on one time. Forget his chauffeur’s love life. They need to focus on Gladys. She saw him in the hallway at Franco’s studio. She saw him toss the gun – the murder weapon. Gladys can’t change her statement now. Cyrus says, of course (🍷) not. It looks like they each have some work to do.  

Sonny gets Nina’s voicemail, and says, if she’s with Eli, call him back. He hangs up, and says, a barbecue. Oh my God. Where did you let him take you Nina?

Brando takes Sasha’s hands, and says they’ll find way around Cyrus. Don’t worry. He asks when her next visit with the doctor at Mercy is, and she says, three weeks. Does he want to come? He says, it’s a date, and she says, talk about doing things backward. He says, it’s not backward, it’s just us. She says, just us; it has a nice ring to it. Brando gets a text, and says he needs to make a pick-up, and deliver it to Cyrus. If they didn’t have to keep it a secret, he’d ask her to dinner tonight. She says she has a tricky relationship with food right now. She’d suggest they order in. He says if she needs him, just call, and he’ll be there; discretion be damned. She says he’s in more danger than she is. Take care of himself. He says he will.     

Maxie tells Spinelli, she can’t talk about it; no one can know. He asks if there’s something wrong with Louise that she’s been keeping secret. They’re privileged to be Georgie’s parents, but they’re also the oldest and closest of friends. They’ve seen each other through struggles and difficulties, and shared with each other their fondest hopes and darkest fears. Why should it be different now? Let him in. Let him help.

Dr. Gannon tells Britt, he has the test results. They ran a complete screening for the Huntington’s Disease marker, and the results… She says, stop.  

There’s a knock at Gladys’s door, and she jumps a mile. She says, silly goose, it’s probably just room service. Just a minute! She opens the door, and it’s Peter. He says, hello, Gladys, walks in, and closes the door.

Sonny looks at his phone, and says, maybe there’s something about a barbecue somewhere. He hears the door open, and says they’re closed. Lenny and Phyllis aren’t here. He sees a police officer has walked in, and says he’s glad the officer is there. They need to find Nina Reeves. The officer says, that will have to wait. He needs Sonny to answer some questions. Eli’s office was broken into and robbed the other night. Sonny asks what that has to do with him, and the officer says, Eli claims Sonny and Nina were behind it.

Maxie says she doesn’t know what to do, and Spinelli tells her to trust him. Rely on him. He’d do anything for her and the baby. She says she knows; she’s counting on it. He asks her to tell him the truth. Why is she so troubled? Why does she fear the loss of her baby?  

Dr. Gannon asks if something is wrong, and Britt says, she’s okay. Jason takes her hand, and she says she’s ready. The doctor says the test results show she has the marker for Huntington’s Disease. He’s very sorry. She cries for a moment, then gets up and leaves.   

At a warehouse, Cyrus says, Peter did well, and gets points for his expediency. Peter says, now it’s Cyrus’s turn. Keep him posted on Jason. Cyrus says, of course (🍷), and goes inside one of the rooms.

Carly goes to Glady’s hotel room, and sees the hallway empty. She says, Frank? She looks inside, and sees the room is trashed. She says, no.

Brando knocks at the door, and Cyrus says, come in. He’s finally found a way to shut up Brando’s mother. He steps aside, and we see Gladys tied up with duct tape over her mouth. Outside the door, Peter smiles.   

Six hours later. Someone falls down the stairs. It’s Peter.

Tomorrow, Brando asks Cyrus what he wants in exchange for Gladys, Maxie tells Spinelli about her plan to protect her baby, and Sonny says Nina is in trouble because of Elijah.

Below Deck Sailing Yacht

When we last left the guests were arguing and Dani wanted off the yacht, because she had enough of being involved with a 10 16 21 24 year old.

Necujam, Croatia. Dani tells Daisy, she doesn’t want to talk to him; she doesn’t want to look at him; she doesn’t want to be there. In Daisy’s interview, she wonders if it’s Dani’s imagination. In Dani’s interview, she says, people will judge her forever. She’ll just get some cats and be done with it. She and Daisy listen to the guests arguing.

Guest Bianca says, there’s been a lot of stuff said about her and to her. Co-primary Jess says, everyone has been talking sh*t about everybody. It’s in Bianca’s head. Guest Myra suggests everyone have some wine, and tells Daisy, Lord help us. Bianca says they’re not including her. Glenn tells Gary that it’s been sunny out for 15 minutes, and everything is still covered. In Glenn’s interview, he says, it’s the end of the season, but they can’t let their guard down. It’s not a game. Everyone is tired, especially after the crash, and he has to keep a close eye on everything. Bianca wails that they’re excluding her, and Natasha is dying laughing. Glenn asks the guests if everything is all right, and Jess says they’re fine. She asks if Glenn wants to join them for dinner, and in his interview, he says, f*** me, but tells Jess that he’d be honored. Bianca calls friend Fabiana, and says they’ve been torturing her because she’s the prettiest one. In Dani’s interview, she says, even if it’s her fault that JL gave her this sh*t to her, she wants out. JL snores away in his cabin. Dani tells Colin that she’s not sharing this with everyone, and whispers to him. He says, oh sh*t, and in his interview, he wonders if JL’s willy looks like the sea cucumber they picked up yesterday. We flash back to that, and Colin tells Dani not to worry. In his interview, he says, if everyone left the boat over an STD, there would be no yachties left in the world.   

Jess tells the other women that Bianca thinks they’re all jealous. She’s going to rip Bianca a new a-hole. She and Bianca start arguing, and Jess says, Bianca instigates and it’s unnecessary. She thinks they’re doing this because she’s pretty. Find her the mirror Bianca is looking at; she wants to put them all over her house. In Dani’s interview, she says, hashtag, savage. Jess says she doesn’t trust Bianca, and Bianca says they’ve been making fun of her since they got there. Colin tells Gary that Dani is talking about leaving, and Gary says he’s clean. Colin says, JL doesn’t even know what it is. It could be an ingrown hair or a pimple. Gary thinks it must be more than that.

The guests get ready to go snorkeling, and Erica says they need an activity to settle them down. Bianca tells Sydney, all’s well in hell, and in Gary’s interview, he says, get him out of here. Glenn says, it’s like Battle Royale, and Daisy says, it’s like boarding school. She heard Glenn is joining them for dinner, and he says he’s stressed as it is. In his interview, he says he doesn’t want a meal in the middle of the world’s biggest catfight. Thanks, but no thanks. Gary takes the guests to Stamorska Bay, and tells them, when they’re ready, jump in. One of the guests says it goes good with their mermaid theme tonight. Natasha asks what colors Daisy is using, and in her interview, Natasha says, last night, the guests were still hungry, and she doesn’t want a repeat. Her strategy is to just continue feeding them. The guests return from snorkeling, and Daisy tells Jess that Glenn is allergic to seafood, but what if he joins them for dessert? This seems to satisfy her, and Daisy tells Glenn about the huge favor she just did for him.    

Natasha says she has three hours to cook, and asks if Colin will take care of the crew dinner. JL says he’s going out to the effing war zone. From what he hears, the guests are overwhelmed with joy. In Gary’s interview, he says, he’s confused, and Alli tells him that they can still talk. JL says he’s getting genuinely worried that he has an STD; it’s starting to get out of hand and scary. He calls the crew doctor, and says he has sore, abrased skin on his weenie. The doctor says, it sounds worrisome, and agrees it could be an STD.

Daisy asks Dani how she’s feeling. The doctor asks JL if he’s experiencing painful urination, but JL says, no; it’s just red. The doctor says, it sounds like chafing, and in JL’s interview, he says, he hopes so. The doctor tells JL to upload a photo to the portal. If it’s chafing, it should clear up on its own, but if it doesn’t, JL can get a test just to be safe. Daisy pulls out decorations for the mermaid dinner, and says, they’re for a five-year-old’s birthday party. Gary asks what a pirate’s favorite letter of the alphabet is. You’d think it was R, but it be the C. JL tells Dani that it’s probably chafing, and in her interview, she says, are you 12? You don’t know the effing difference? She hugs him, and says she’s sure everything is going to be all right.   

Dani thanks Gary for being helpful, and Gary whines that he’s going to bed alone. In Alli’s interview, she says, now that she heard Gary and Sydney had sex, she doesn’t want to be that person. She needs to sleep peacefully with the decisions she’s made. She tells Gary that it’s not an attractive quality to pussyfoot around, and he says he would never do that. Daisy tells Alli to do her makeup, and she’ll set the table. The guests get ready, and Colin helps filet fish in the galley. Sydney says he’s getting to be quite the sous chef. Daisy says Colin can be a pirate, and the deckhands can be mermen. JL says he’s already been forced to do drag, and Colin announces the crew dinner is ready. Glenn says, finally, and Natasha gives him a look. Dani shows Alli how make mermaid-tinis, and says she doesn’t understand. JL said he gave her something, and now he says, it’s probably fine. In Daisy’s interview, she says, you don’t need to quit your job because your boyfriend’s penis hurts. It’s a bit dramatic. Guest Cindi pretends to be a lost mermaid. Daisy shows JL some sparkly, fish scale patterned leggings, and in JL’s interview, he says, there’s no way that’s happening. The table is beautiful; shells, netting, a lot of blue, and tiny white lights. Dani serves the drinks, while Alli cleans up the guest cabins. In her interview, Alli says, they have so many belongings. It’s disgusting, like an explosion. She knows they pay for service, but it’s disrespectful. There are a load of towels on the floor, and she says, the bin is literally right there.

Natasha serves the next course, which the guests think is amazing. Daisy tells Alli, they have to be like the guests’ mothers. Gary tries getting into the leggings by jumping around. JL, who’s apparently relented, says, Daddy Long Legs, don’t fail me now. Colin dresses as a pirate, and Gary adds a blue wig to his costume, prompting one of the guests to suggest putting a gem in his bellybutton so he’ll look like a Troll. No comment. Another guest says, this is epic sh*t, and Natasha tells them that there are more courses coming. Erica says it’s the best charter she’s ever experienced, and Natasha tells Glenn, the last course is coming out. Natasha tells Daisy that she’s going to do another dessert table; they won’t have to clean up.  The stews help her drizzle the chocolate on the table cover, and in Gary’s interview, he says it’s not his cup of tea. It was cool once, but they should serve nice desserts, not sh*t on the table. And we know he must have a refined palate. The guests insist JL slide across the table on his stomach, and in Glenn’s interview, he says he doesn’t think JL will do it. He does, and there’s chocolate everywhere. Glenn says, that sh*t better come out of the cushions – and off the teak. In JL’s interview, he says, if it will get them a bigger tip, hell yeah, he’ll do it. A guest licks chocolate off of JL’s chest, and I can’t even fathom doing something like that to a stranger. Dani starts cleaning up, and singing about money. Gary asks if he and Dani are going to have a cuddle tonight, and she says, no. He wonders if he should stop asking, and she says, yes.  

JL says he feels terrible, and Sydney asks if he thinks it was worth it. Alli tells Gary that they need to talk, but she’s nervous, and he says he is too. She says she really likes him, but there’s also another component. She found out something she didn’t know before; he and Sydney had sex. He says he’s not going to lie, and she says she feels like she disrespected Sydney. She feels like an a-hole, and doesn’t know what she’s supposed to do. In Gary’s interview, he says, f*** me. Instead of butterflies inside, he has dying butterflies, and it’s not a nice feeling. He’s massively disappointed, and feels like a d*ck. At the end of the day, he doesn’t feel the same way about Sydney that he does about Alli.

The guests are getting drunk, and smelling each other’s armpits, while Dani tends bar. Gary says he’s sorry he put Alli in this situation, and Alli suggests they see what happens after the charter season. While they’re working, she doesn’t think they should see each other. She hates saying that, but Gary tells her that he understands. He’s glad they had this little chat. Gary tells Colin what happened, and that it’s not good. Alli asks Daisy to come have a cigarette with her, and Daisy asks how she is. Alli says, not good. JL goes to bed, and Dani says she hopes he feels better. Gary tells Colin, he’s such a puss. He knew he was, but effing hell. Daisy asks Alli, what happened? and Alli says she told Gary that she knows he had sex with Sydney. Now she feels like a d*ck to Sydney. Daisy says, it’s just one more week. Colin says, if Gary really likes Alli, why not wait until the season is over? and Gary says maybe it’s good that he’ll ignore Alli, but when he’s drunk, he’s going to want to hook up with her.   

The next morning, JL gets a text from the doctor that says, it appears to be chafing, but if it doesn’t go away, let him know. Dani says, thank God. She’s so freaking relieved. Glenn calls boat tech Luka, and says he just needs the transom refinished, smoothed, and repainted. In Alli’s interview, she says, Gary is being weird, and in Gary’s interview, he says he feels like jumping overboard with an anchor tied to him, and never coming up. He feels like a proper d*ck. Well, he’s got that right, but he’s being just a bit dramatic, considering he’ll probably care about Alli for the amount of time it takes for him to be attracted to someone else. Daisy tells Alli that the guests are looking for a singer, and she was thinking of asking Sydney. Alli says she’s only heard Sydney sing once, and we flash back to the crew singing Happy Birthday.  

At breakfast, Glenn asks how the guests are, and one says the had to figure out what happened last night from the pictures. Glenn says, it was one of those nights. Daisy asks if Sydney wants to write a song to sing at the guests’ women’s empowerment dinner. In Daisy’s interview, she says, the irony is that this is one of the most awkward situations she’s ever been in. The stews and Sydney dance around, and laugh, singing about empowerment. Glenn asks them to keep their cackling below 150 decibels. One of the guests hopes they all get along today.

Daisy tells the guests that they have the beach picnic today, and will probably do some sailing. I’m fast running out of tolerance for Erica’s Kim Kardashian accent. It’s like nails on a chalkboard. Glenn puts the sails up, and radios the interior to keep an eye on the dishes on the dining table. Erica says, she feels perfect; there’s a nice wind. Daisy asks if Alli will give Cindi a massage, and in Alli’s interview, she says, as yachties, they work hard and put up with a lot of sh*t. We flash back to Cindi yapping at Alli as she unpacks Cindi’s suitcase, and Alli says she doesn’t like giving massages, but at least it makes the guests happy. Alli tells Daisy that it will probably be the fastest hour of her life, since Cindi will be talking. Erica comes upstairs, headed for the deck, and says she heard them. They drop anchor, and Erica says she’s annoyed. She heard Alli say something about her mom. New information, but not knowing how old either of them are, I’m not sure if Cindi looks young for her age, or Erica looks old for hers. Alli gives Cindi a massage, and Natasha makes lunch. Gary and Colin set up on the beach, and Erica says she thinks Bianca is copying her, but she doesn’t care. Jess says they just have one more night. Gary radios Daisy that he’s coming back to pick up the food. Sydney says, she wants to give a shout out to the guests in the song, using each of their names. In her interview, she says she was classically trained. The last show she did, she was Audrey in Little Shop of Horrors. She’s all about female empowerment and thinks girls should lift each other up. Daisy tells Gary that the ladies are ready go to the beach. He should pick them up in fifteen minutes, but lunch is still at 2.   

Erica tells Glenn that she heard Alli say something bad about her mom. She said giving Cindi a massage will be the fastest hour of her life, since Cindi will be talking her ear off. She doesn’t want to tell her mom because she’ll be sad; she said Alli is her favorite person there. Glenn says he’ll have a word with Alli, and in his interview, he says he’s disappointed. They’re meant to be more discrete than that. Erica – who is twice as irritating as her mother will ever be – says she gets protective about her mother. The others have been positive and engaging, and she wonders if Alli is having a personal struggle. Not content with unloading on Glenn, she tells Daisy that she’s upset. She walked in on her and Daisy’s conversation, and her mom loves Alli. Daisy says, the irony is that Alli loves her mom too. She promises the comment wasn’t meant to be negative. Glenn asks Daisy to talk to Alli, and in Daisy’s interview, she says, it’s so embarrassing.

The beach is set up, and Daisy pretends to talk to Alli. She says, it was bad timing that Erica walked in when they were talking. Alli asks if Glenn is upset, and Daisy says, no. He just wanted to clarify. Alli says they probably shouldn’t talk about the guests at all. Colin tells Sydney that he just got new guitar strings, and Daisy tells Alli to go on break, while she goes back to those crazy women. Everything is so messy. The guests are taken to the beach, and Erica has difficulty walking on the rocks in her wedges. A table has been set up under a canopy, and Dani tells them, enjoy themselves for now and have some wine; lunch will be soon. Jess tells Bianca that she has to move because Jess wants to sit next to Erica. Bianca says she’s there now, but Jess says her stuff was there, and it got moved when they were taking pictures. Erica says she can’t help it if she’s popular. Colin plays his guitar while Sydney tries to come up with a song.  

Glenn asks Natasha how it’s going, and she says, good. Dani calls the yacht from the beach, and tells Daisy that they need rosé. Daisy says they’re out, but they’re supposed to get some this evening. She tells Dani to suggest champagne in the meantime. Dani says they need water too, and Daisy wonders, how much effing water can they drink? Glenn says they have to get the food to the beach, and Daisy says she found more rosé; she’ll send it back with Gary. Glenn tells her not to say she found it, but it just came in, so it looks planned. In Glenn’s interview, he says he doesn’t know what’s going on with the crew. Everyone seems a little off. They’ve got to do better. He’s losing patience. They have a charter and a half until the end of the season, and they’ve been dropping the ball too much. Get your sh*t together. Natasha runs out to the tender, and says, they’re missing something. Glenn says, let’s go, but there’s still a bunch of food in the galley.

Next time, Daisy says, this is hard to watch; Dani tells JL that she’s moving to America, and they’re getting married and having babies; and Colin tells Gary that if he likes Alli, don’t f*** Sydney. You’d think that would be a given, but I guess not.

🎶 Their Name On a Billboard…

The Billboard Music Award winners.

https://www.billboard.com/articles/news/awards/9576742/2021-billboard-music-awards-winners-list

And how they were dressed. You know, the important part.

https://people.com/style/best-dressed-stars-billboard-music-awards-2021/

https://www.essence.com/fashion/fashion-moments-2021-billboard-music-awards/

🧚🏽 Dream a Little Dream…

The week has begun. It’s mask on, mask off, and hopefully, you’re enjoying more freedom these days. But whether you’ve rejoined the race, are taking your time, or decided to drop out, stay safe, stay mellow, and stay knowing the difference between chafing and… well, you know.