What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

General Hospital

Carly goes through a box of Mike’s belongings, and asks Sonny if some booklets count as sports memorabilia. He says, it counts as old junk; racing forms and programs. She thinks they should have Diane send a clerk over to catalog it. It might not have monetary value, but Mike’s stuff is valuable to him, and he doesn’t want to throw it out. Sonny isn’t so sure, and Carly looks through some pictures. She takes out one of Sonny as a young boy.

On the phone, Brando says, of course (🍷) he’s grateful, but wants to know what it’s going to cost him. Cyrus says, just a few moments of his time. He wants to meet. Tonight.

Peter tells Jackie that he had his doubts when Lulu wanted to bring her in. She says she’s fond of Port Charles, and he says he knows she cut her teeth at The Herald. She says, for a few years in the 80s, she investigated her sister’s abduction. The trail led her there. He says, the city where she made her name. He asks how Port Charles has changed for her, and she says, it’s certainly bigger… shinier, faster. But none of that changes its essential character. At its heart, it’s the Port Charles she left behind.

Maxie tells Robert, she hopes he didn’t say something to upset Mac. He asks why he’d do that, and she says he can’t seem to help himself sometimes. Anything with Peter goes back to Faison with him. He says, excuse him for being overprotective, and she says she doesn’t need him to protect her from Peter. He isn’t like his father any more than she’s like hers.

Anna asks Finn to give her the basics on epigenetics. He says he loves when she talks sexy, and she says she’s being serious. From her research she sees that epigenetics involve changes that don’t have to do with the DNA sequence. He says some stuff I don’t understand and she says, meaning one identical twin could have a trait that their child inherits, a trait not necessarily present in the other twin. He asks what she’s thinking, and she says, this is how she can prove whether or not she’s Peter’s mother.

Someone looks around The Floating Rib from the back hallway. Dante comes out into the alley, and says, there are a lot of people in there. Peter will have to wait.

On the phone, Olivia says Ned doesn’t have to call her back, but she wants to talk to him when he gets home. She ran into Brook at the reception, and got quite an earful. She hangs up, and says he has no idea how lucky he is to actually have his baby there at home.

Brook stomps over to Valentin and says he played her. She let him use her against her own family. Chase doesn’t think the conversation will do anyone any good, but she says the only good thing about being fired in front of God and everyone else is, now she can tell Valentin what she really thinks. Valentin says, please do, and she says she should have warned her father that he was after ELQ. Instead, she let him buy her silence. Now her life is a dumpster fire. That’s what she gets for trusting him. He says from his perspective, the only person she has to blame for her wreck of a life is herself. Chase suggests they sit down, and starts to steer Brook away, and Valentin says he doesn’t want her to think he’s unsympathetic to her current situation. If she’d just told him that her voice hadn’t healed, he could have gone to Lucy and made arrangements. Instead, she did whatever the hell this just was, and embarrassed the entire company. She laughs, and says, please. As if Lucy’s never made a public spectacle of herself and he’s never told a lie. He says he didn’t lie to the buyer and get caught. He understands her. she wants to fix everything on her own, so she doesn’t have to admit when something is broken. It worked to his advantage when he made a play for ELQ, but today, it’s the very thing that sunk her.

Anna tells Finn about Maxie and Peter’s genetic screening appointment. She says, there was nothing concerning, but Peter had a marker for rheumatoid arthritis. She knows she doesn’t have it since she got a full genetic workup when she was diagnosed with PV. He says, that means Peter inherited the gene from Faison or… She says, her sister. If Alex has the marker, that means Peter is her son, not Anna’s.

Peter says he can imagine Jackie had some nostalgia for the place she got her start, but she says she has other irons in the fire. She has family of her own there, and she’s interested in the city whether they work together or not. He asks if exposing a philanthropist as a major drug trafficker isn’t high on her to-do list, and she says, if Cyrus is dirty, he’s done an incredible job of covering his tracks. Any investigation would be risky, labor intensive, and costly. He says he’s willing to pay. She and the story are worth it. She says the money isn’t what’s holding her back. It’s him.

Maxie tells Robert, her dad was addicted to adventure. He wasn’t cut out for parenthood, and cut out on his family, but he’s not in the same universe as Faison. Robert says, agreed, and she says she was making a point. Her father is an absentee parent. She’s not. Faison was an evil lunatic, but Peter isn’t. Robert needs to stop worrying. He says, worrying about the people we love comes naturally. It’s what makes them human. She asks, you know what else makes them human? Sharing in joy with others.

Maxie sees Spinelli talking to Brando and squeals that he’s there. Spinelli says, and by fortuitous coincidence, she’s present also. Brando says they know each other? and Maxie says they have a child together; Georgie. Who’s going to be so excited that Spinelli is there. Brando says he’s going to take off, and congratulates Maxie again. Spinelli says, congratulations are in order? He asks if it’s something Georgie will like, and Maxie says, she’ll be over the moon, and not just because she gets to wear a special dress for the occasion. He says he can only surmise she and Peter are getting married.

Carly looks through the photos, and asks if Sonny remembers them. He says he recognizes the old building, but that’s about it. She says he was so young, it’s not surprising he doesn’t remember. He says, objectively, she’s right, but he can’t help thinking about what happened to his dad. When did he know he had a problem? Carly says, that’s a huge leap, going from something he doesn’t remember when he was six, to thinking he has Alzheimer’s, and he says, it’s a question he’s been asking himself since his dad was diagnosed. Is it going to happen to him?

Brando meets Cyrus, and thanks him for getting the cops off his back. He asks how Cyrus managed it, and Cyrus says, he has a voice at the PCPD. Having been unjustly incarcerated himself, he has an affinity for others who might be denied due process. Brando asks, why use that voice for him? and Cyrus says, partly to make amends for Brando landing in the hospital. Brando says, so Cyrus got the guys who beat him up sent away, and got the cops to stop investigating him for the motorcycle crash. That’s a lot of good will on Cyrus’s part. Cyrus says, someone had to step up for him. It was clear Sonny wouldn’t.

Sonny tells Carly, the last few years, he’s been focusing on his dad, but he has been wondering if the Alzheimer’s was passed on to him. She says she’s done some research, and a person with a parent or sibling with Alzheimer’s does have a higher likelihood of developing it, but there are many other factors. He says maybe he should start figuring out the odds; there are tests. She says, they’re not for everyone, but he says, they are an option for people with a family member who has Alzheimer’s.

Spinelli tells Maxie, traditionally, it’s not unusual for someone expecting a baby to wed, but he thought she might take a less conventional route. She says she thought he might step up and be happy for her, but clearly, that’s not what’s going to happen. He says he always wishes for her happiness, but she says, not one more word. She’s the one whose engagement party was just rained on, and now it’s her turn to talk.

Jackie tells Peter, the best publishers she’s worked with stay out of the limelight. He has a bad habit of becoming the story. His father, his kidnapping, his recent arrest… He says he was cleared on all charges, and she says he doesn’t have to sell her on Port Charles or The Invader, but he does have to sell her on himself, so make his pitch. Why should she take a job with him given his reputation? He says, it’s tempting, but he’s not going to pitch her. It’s clear she’s already been given the hard sell by Robert Scorpio.

Anna says, there are cases where one twin acquired a gene, no? and Finn says, there are, but it’s more likely Peter acquired the gene from Faison. She says, then the next step is to find out if Faison had the marker for rheumatoid arthritis. He says, or she could tell Peter the truth. Family secrets can be devastating and they always come out . He thinks Peter should hear it from her. She asks if he’d like to elaborate on why he can’t patch things up with his stepfather, even for Chase.

Valentin says he and Brook aren’t so different. The black sheep of powerful families. Chase says, okay, that’s enough, and Brook says she’s nothing like Valentin. Nothing. He says, methinks the lady doth protest too much, and Chase says, they’ve both said what they had to say. He’s calling this. He tries to get Brook to go, but she says she’s not done. She might be selfish at times, but Valentin is worse. He’s the type of selfish person who believes he’s selfless, and that the things he does for himself are motivated by his love and devotion to others. At least she owns who she is. He smiles, and she asks if something is funny. He says, no. He thinks it’s remarkable that, after everything she’s gone through, she still ahs that spark. He likes it.

Jackie says she never said anything about Robert, and Peter says she didn’t have to. His vendetta and paranoia are all over the conversation. It’s no secret they have a history, and clearly (WOTD) Robert’s opinion matters to her. She says, why shouldn’t it? He might have an attitude, but he’s the closest thing she’s witnessed to an honest to God hero. He says, as opposed to his father. An irredeemable villain who tainted him by association. She asks what good her story would do if it was printed by a publisher her readers didn’t trust. She needs to trust him. He says, trust isn’t won overnight. His numbers are spiking at a time when people are saying print is dead. If that isn’t good enough, he suggests she take a leap of faith

Maxie tells Spinelli, she and Peter are having a child together. She loves him, and asked him to marry her, and he accepted her proposal. It’s a done deal. If she had any doubts, she wouldn’t be marrying him. Can’t that be enough? He doesn’t say anything, and she says, all right then. She won’t ask him to be happy for her. She won’t invite him to the wedding He doesn’t even have to get them a gift, but he does have to be fair to their daughter. That means keeping his opinion about Peter to himself. Do not influence Georgie’s opinion of him. if Spinelli can’t play by her rules, she’ll no longer consider him her friend. She walks away, and walks past Robert at the bar.

Robert goes over to Spinelli, and Spinelli says he guesses Maxie convinced Robert to drop their investigation of Peter.

Brando says he’s not going to talk to Cyrus about Sonny, and Cyrus says, then let’s talk about the job he’s offering. As a driver, among other things. Brando asks, what other things? and Cyrus says Brando is an ex-marine, a combat vet. He could use Brando on his team. Brando is sure it doesn’t hurt that he’s close to Sonny, and Cyrus says he thought Brando didn’t want to talk about Sonny. (D’oh!) Brando say,s Sonny is his cousin and has done a lot for him. It would be wrong of him to work for Cyrus.

Carly says Sonny spent more time with Mike than anyone. He’s just in the beginning stages of grief. Give himself some time before he takes a step like being tested for Alzheimer’s. He says, it’s not just his future at stake. If he knows his status, then Kristina, Donna, and Avery can decide later if they want to get tested. Even Dante. She says, even if he found out Dante was at risk, what good would it do? Dante doesn’t want to talk to anyone in the family. He says, that’s not true anymore.

The doorbell rings, and Olivia answers it. Dante says he’s come back. She throws her arms around him, and hugs him.

Jackie says, Peter wants her to take a leap of faith on him, and he says, he is on her. He’s heard she can be demanding. She says, exacting, and he says, aggressive. She says, persistent, and he says, difficult. She says, the D word. She knows what people say about her. If she was a man, they’d say she was a go-getter. He says, good assessment, but off point. He’s willing to take a risk in spite of her reputation. Why can’t she do the same with him? She says, there would be some conditions. She only works with Lulu, and they only report to him. No editors or middlemen in between. He says, done, and she says, she and Lulu get final copy approval. He says, with his input, but she says, no. Final editorial approval. He says he’s sure they can work something out, and she says, the only thing left to do is set up her expense account. She’s sure he doesn’t mind her writing the drinks off. He says, by all means, and she says, she’s sure this is the start of a beautiful working relationship. He says, God save them both, and excuses himself.

Peter goes over to where Maxie is sitting, and says he takes it Spinelli isn’t thrilled with their engagement. She says, he thinks it’s a disaster. In all fairness, he didn’t use the word disaster, but it was written all over his face. She can’t take it anymore, and gave him an ultimatum. She said he couldn’t influence Georgie’s opinion of Peter, or make anymore ridiculous paranoid accusations. If he does, their friendship is over. She wanted to take it back the second she said it, but she can’t.

Spinelli tells Robert they can’t drop the investigation. Peter has killed in the past, and may very well kill again. Robert asks, what happens if he says that to Maxie? and Spinelli says, she’ll end their friendship and cling more tightly to Peter. Robert says Spinelli has to change his tactics. He has to convince Maxie that she can trust him again. Spinelli asks, how? and Robert says, lie to her.

Valentin goes to Anna’s house, and she tells him they have to make it brief. He says her fiancé doesn’t approve of him, and she says, he’s heard one too many allegations about Valentin’s unsavory past. Most of which are true. He suggests Finn doesn’t like the fact he knows Anna better, and always will. She asks why he’s there, and he says they need to decide how they’re handling her sister. Anna says, maybe they don’t. Since the initial call, she hasn’t tried to make contact. He says, direct contact. There was an attempted ambush in Berlin. She says, according to him. He says he thought he was there because she requested him, but… he starts to leave, and she says she’s sorry. she’s not implying otherwise. It’s just hard to accept that her sister has gone from sabotaging her career to wanting her dead. Valentin has a suggestion. Kill her before she kills Anna. Anna says Alex is her sister. She can’t just… kill her. He says, if she’s playing Alex’s game, it’s the surest way to die, and it looks to him like she is. They’ve lost valuable weeks since the ambush. It gives Alex the advantage of time and momentum. They need to act. If she’s not going to, he will. She asks, why the urgency? and he says if Alex knows he’s involved, then she’s a present danger. Not just to him, but his daughter. He’s not going to let anything happen to Charlotte. Anna seriously doubts Alex gave Valentin or his daughter a second thought. This is about Peter. He says it sounds like she knows something, and she says she does. He says, how about telling him, since she obviously knows more than he does? What is Alex’s fixation with Peter? Anna says, she might be his mother.

Brando tells Cyrus that he’s not betraying Sonny, and Cyrus says, nor should he. He and Sonny called a truce. By taking a job with him, Brando would be a liaison of sorts. Someone to keep the lines of communication open. Brando doesn’t think Sonny would agree with that perspective, and Cyrus says, Sonny’s a practical man. He has no doubt sonny would approve of any arrangement that keeps the peace. Come work for him. Everyone benefits.

Olivia lets Dante in, and says he feels good. Olivia says, the beard is a little scraggly. He does look scraggly, but I like it. He says he wanted to see her first before shaving, and she guesses she raised him right. She’s overcome, and tells him that she doesn’t know what to say. Is he really there? Is he there for good? He says, he’s home, and it’s all because of her.

Carly says, Dante’s home for good? and Sonny says, he’s healing. She says, he’s healthy enough to come home, and Sonny says, they gave him everything he needs to stay healthy. She says, Dante can be tested, and the girls, but the right now, the only opinion that matters is Sonny’s. He says, what if he just wants to do it? and she says, what if he wants to do it, thinking if he has the courage to do it, he’ll get the results he wants? She understands that kind of magical thinking. If I’m brave enough to face the worst, maybe the worst won’t happen. But with Alzheimer’s, it’s hard to know for certain. The tests are narrow in scope and not predictive. He asks what she became a medical professional, and she says she’s not a doctor, but she’s his wife. She doesn’t want him to torture himself about something if he doesn’t have to.

Chase and Brook go back to the bar. He asks if she’s given any more thought to moving back home, but she says she doesn’t think there’s enough room for her and her family. Underneath the bickering, there is a lot of love, but there’s also judgement. She’ll never be equal to Michael, Dillon, or her father, if she doesn’t stand on her own two feet. Even then, they’ll have to come to her with an apology. He says he’s sorry to hear that, because he has more bad news.

Valentin asks what Anna means, Alex is Peter’s mother? and she says, might be. Does he remember the night he got her to admit she had Faison’s baby? He says, of course (🍷) he remembers that night. He watched her unraveling in his living room. Please tell him it was Alex. She says she can’t be certain. He knows she was subjected to memory transfer. Something from Alex was imprinted in her, and this might be it. He says, thank God. This means he didn’t follow her that night. She didn’t sleep with Faison, and he didn’t deliver her baby to Faison. He didn’t betray her. She tells him, stop it. Everything he did was despicable, whether it was to her or Alex. He says, of course (🍷) it was Alex. He thinks he always knew it. She says he knows more than she does, because it’s just a theory. She thinks she might be able to prove it by specific genes, and he says, run all the tests she wants to, but he knows it was Alex; they both know. She would never do the things Alex did. She says, Peter has to believe she’s his mother, and Valentin says, okay. That’s why she’s afraid of Alex. It’s not what Alex will do to her, but to Peter. She’ll tell him the truth. Anna says she doesn’t want him involved with this anymore. It’s her problem, and she’ll handle it now. He asks how? when Finn comes in. Finn says he didn’t realize they had guests, and Valentin says he just dropped by for a quick word with Finn’s fiancé. Finn says, if this is about the planned ambush, he already knows.

Spinelli says, and after he convinces Maxie that he approves of her marriage to that miscreant? Robert says, stay close. She’ll need someone to lean on when the bottom drops out of everything, and it’s going to, because he’s going to make it. Spinelli says, and Robert is going to continue with the investigation? Robert says, Peter is guilty, and he intends to prove it.

Peter says he’s sorry Maxie’s feelings were hurt, and she says, as much as she cares about Spinelli – and she always will – if she has to choose, she chooses him. Spinelli has to see, this time he has to compromise. Spinelli approaches the table, and asks if he could have a moment. He needs to apologize to them both. He never offered his congratulations on their engagement, but offers it now with a full heart. He wishes them every happiness. Peter thanks him, and Maxie says it was beautiful, but what made him change his mind?

Dante says, Olivia saved him. It wasn’t until he heard her that he realized he had to do everything in his power to get home. She needs him; his family needs him. Olivia says she’s his mother, and she’ll always need him, but she didn’t save him. He saved himself. She just let him know he always has a place to live, no matter what. He says he was worried she’d given up on him, and she says she tried, but she knew in her heart that she’d see him again. She has to call Sonny.

Sonny tells Carly, when they buried his dad next to Morgan, he was thinking that Morgan inherited being bi-polar from him, so maybe he inherited Alzheimer’s from his dad. If he did, they’ll deal with it. Carly says, there’s no medication you can take to prevent it. Live a healthy lifestyle. Exercise, which he does, and eat well, which he does. She guesses he could drink less, and he says, maybe he can box more and drink the same. She laughs, and says she thinks one of the greatest things about being a human being is that you don’t know how life will turn out. They have no idea what’s going to happen next. If it were her choice, she wouldn’t want to know, but it’s not her choice; it’s his. He says, something to think about, but not anytime soon. She says, it’s a decision he shouldn’t rush. If he ends up slipping like his dad at some point, promise she’ll tell him. She says she will, and she’ll be by his side the entire time, the way he was with his dad. Always.

Valentin says Finn knows more about the situation than he does, so tell him, is she setting a trap for Alex or not? Anna says, there’s been a change in plans. She’ll deal with her sister herself in her own way. He says he respects her more than she’ll ever know. That’s why it pains him to see her indulge in denial. Her sister has unfinished business with her, and she will be visiting Port Charles. It will either be on her terms or Anna’s.

Chase tells Brook that he needs his couch back; his whole apartment really. She says, but he told her… He says, she could stay until she got back on her feet. She needs to start doing that. She says she just lost her job, and he says he believes in her. He believes she’ll stand on her own, but that doesn’t mean she can’t carve out a place for her family. The longer she lets this fester, the more it will take on a life of its own.

Valentin leaves, and Finn asks if Anna changed her mind. She says she’s changing tactics, and needs his help. She won’t throw Peter’s whole life into question until she’s exhausted every option. He says, what options? Alex is a fugitive, and Faison is dead. She says, dead, yes, but not gone.

Robert asks if Jackie had a nice time cozying up to Peter. She says she’s decided to work with Peter, but not with him. Like she told him, if he wants to dig up dirt on Peter, do it on his own time. He says he intends to, but when she finds something – and she will – she’ll know how important it is that they work together. She’s met his niece, and knows what’s at stake.

Spinelli says, Maxie warned him that his continued actions were ruining their friendship. He had to step back and reassess his priorities. They’re Georgie’s parents, and continue to raise her in mutual admiration and regard. He hopes to regain her trust, and hopes to get Peter’s. Peter says, it’s over; let’s put it behind us. Spinelli says, that’s very gracious, and Peter says it’s all he can do. All he’s ever wanted is to prove himself. Spinelli says he’s done that by making Maxie happy. Maxie asks if that means Spinelli is coming to their wedding and he says she couldn’t keep him away.

Dante tells Olivia, he tried to make Mike’s funeral, but he missed it. Sonny was still there, saying goodbye. She says she saw Sonny afterward, but he didn’t say anything. Dante tells her, he asked Sonny not to. He wanted to see Lulu and the kids first; he didn’t want them to hear it from anyone else. He went to Lulu’s house, and there was someone else there. She says, Dustin, and he says, seems like they’re pretty serious. She says, Dustin doesn’t hold a candle to him, and he thanks her, but says he doesn’t think her opinion is going to make a bias. She says, this can wait until morning, because he’s there. He’s staying there, in this house. They have 20 million guest rooms, and even if they didn’t… He doesn’t know how long she’s waited for this moment. Her baby is home. She hugs him, and says, everything will be okay.

Carly says Sonny was so cute, and he agrees, pointing out his dimples. She bets he was as modest then as he is now, and he says, just about. The doorbell rings, and Sonny goes to get it. It’s Brando, and Sonny asks if he has an update. Brando says he has some news, but sees Carly, and stops talking. Sonny says there are no secrets between them, and Brando says he just met with Cyrus. Cyrus wants to recruit him. Sonny says, good.

Tomorrow, Ava is starting to believe Nikolas cares for her, Nikolas tells someone to take it now or the deal is off, and Sonny tells Julian that he doesn’t have the luxury of turning him down.

🍹 Tonight’s Bravo offering was the season 4 finale of Southern Charm, with Craig, Shep, and the two Toms from Vanderpump Rules watching virtually. Craig and Shep were together; ditto the Toms. The first thing that stood out was how much Tom Sandoval is looking like Freddy Mercury with blond highlights. These guys were way chattier than anyone has been so far, and there was a lot of discussion between boxes. Part of the episode was when the cast went to Key West, and also included a party hosted by JD (bleh). Cameran gave a lecture to a more than hungover Craig, and Shep came by, still keeping the party going. When Shep focused heavily on a sandpiper, Schwartz said, when you’re drunk and hungover like that, there’s a raw appreciation of nature. Ugh. I don’t think I’ll be testing that theory, since just watching Shep brought me back to the couple of times I’ve continued drinking into the next day, and I actually felt a little sick, even though it was many years ago. Sandoval did a lot of fashion critiquing, called out household hints, and had a lot to say about how he would have handled various situations. The Toms also pumped Craig and Shep, who reminded me of frat boys, for information on other cast members. The episode included some high tension between Craig and Naomie, who were seeing each other at the time, and Craig not-so-humble bragged about how he had passed the bar, and was now a lawyer, as it had been a bone of contention with Naomie. While watching Craig tell Naomie how he was done with her criticism, Shep said it was the most boring scene he’d ever seen. He made me laugh, but he also may have been right. When it was over, Craig suggested they watch Vanderpump Rules with the Toms. Sandoval was all for it, but Schwartz said he was out. All in all, it was a fun show.

🐴 Beating a Dead Horse…

Dorinda wanted to make it nice, but needed a vacation.

https://www.eonline.com/news/1195138/dorinda-medley-opens-up-about-her-rhony-exit-for-the-first-time

💔 Millionaire Matchmaker Maybe…

Even if it didn’t work out, he’s still better than Suckerfish Hoppy.

https://www.eonline.com/news/1197260/bethenny-frankel-and-paul-bernon-break-up-after-2-years-of-dating

🩺 Botch This…

I find it highly doubtful Terry would do inferior surgery.

https://www.foxnews.com/entertainment/botched-dr-terry-dubrow-sues-defamation-patient-seeks-10-million-malpractice

📺 Pandemically Canceled…

Some shows that are saying goodbye.

https://www.eonline.com/news/1195388/all-of-the-tv-shows-that-were-forced-to-end-because-of-covid-19

🎼 In Case You Couldn’t Attend…

The winners.

https://parade.com/1103840/parade/billboard-music-awards-2020-winners-list/

And more important, the fashion.

https://parade.com/1104207/paulettecohn/billboard-music-awards-2020-red-carpet-fashion-photos/

What you shouldn’t miss.

https://www.billboard.com/articles/bbma/9465898/billboard-music-awards-cant-miss-moments/

And what you didn’t see.

https://www.billboard.com/articles/bbma/9465931/2020-billboard-music-awards-things-you-didnt-see-on-tv

🗯 What Would Max Do…?

A concise clap back by one of the 2 Broke Girls. She has two words for body shamers, and they’re not happy birthday.

https://pagesix.com/2020/10/14/kat-dennings-tells-billie-eilish-body-shamers-to-f-k-right-off/

📅 When Is a Week Not a Week…?

How is it a week can drag by, yet the month between mortgage payments goes by fast? One of life’s mysteries. Along with how the hell did such a promising number as 2020 treat us so badly? But you’re still here. Keep it up. And while you’re at it, stay safe, stay thinking beyond now, and stay not torturing yourself about things you don’t have to.